At Last There Is Nothing Left To Say

At Last There Is Nothing Left To Say......Page 7
Francis I......Page 10
How Stupid the World? Let’s find out......Page 11
Are You Ready to Rumble?......Page 14
WaterWorld II......Page 16
Porno Safari......Page 19
Drunk pilot seeks drunk copilot for unsuccessful transatlantic flight. Box #214......Page 29
Step Right Up. There’s Something Happening Here.........Page 33
How Debbie Parks Drowned in Cherry Jell-O......Page 38
Techniques for Faking Multiple Personality Disorders During Criminal Trials......Page 41
Some men get the world. Others get ex-hookers and a trip to Arizona......Page 46
Should’ve Been A Super Villain......Page 49
The Killing of Matthew Good......Page 54
The Magic Goats of Presto Island......Page 60
Television......Page 67
Between sleep and awake there is a taco stand called nothing. Can I take your order?......Page 83
Beyond this Place Behind the Stars......Page 85
Homeless......Page 92
The Purple Switch......Page 97
Turning The 2000 Clock......Page 100
The Ditches On A Long Road Home......Page 104
The Man With the Hole in His Head......Page 119
Have You Seen Me? I’ve Looked Everywhere......Page 128
How Come There’s Never Been a Weapon of Mass Destruction on a Wheaties Box?......Page 131
Todd & Matt go to Las Vegas with a porn star that will remain nameless for reasons of libel. The Director’s Cut......Page 137
Milton Hadley......Page 143
Night Opus......Page 163
The Commoner’s Guide To Suicide......Page 173
Francis Revisited......Page 181
Disorientation......Page 12
I WANNA BE AN AIRBORNE RANGER......Page 20
MATTOPIA. Trouble Abounds in Wonderland......Page 25
The Disneyland Bit......Page 32
10 Things I Would Love to See but Know I Never Will......Page 35
How’s That Idiocy Coining By The Way?......Page 37
Ain’t it just like the night to play tricks when you’re trying to be so quiet. We sit here stranded, though we all do our best to deny it.......Page 55
Banned From This Book: Controversy’s Ceaseless Assault Continues......Page 64
Invaluable Inventions Of The 20th Century: numbers 49 through 86......Page 68
Immeasurable Losses Of The 20th Century: numbers 4 though 6......Page 72
The Pitfalls Of Being Marty......Page 75
My story......Page 86
The Handbook......Page 93
Thanks For Flying With Us!......Page 112
The Mega Track 2000......Page 116
Wavering......Page 123
You Can’t Fool the Children of the Revolution. Can You?......Page 129
Things I Love To Say But Can’t......Page 144
If I were to start my own country I would......Page 145
If I were allowed to do anything I wanted in one day, I would......Page 146
You Can Tell Them I’m Coming. And Hell’s Coming With Me......Page 147
That Whole Opium/Talking Animals Thing......Page 157