Were You Raised by Wolves?: Clues to the Mysteries of Adulthood

Title Page......Page 3
Dedication Page......Page 4
Contents......Page 5
Introduction: Hello, Brand-New Grown-up!......Page 11
Make Your Bed!......Page 13
How?......Page 14
If Nothing Else: A Clean Bathroom......Page 17
More Unbelievable Baking Soda Tips!......Page 20
Getting a Lipstick Stain Out of Your Shirt......Page 24
Event Cleaning......Page 26
What Is That Horrible Moldy Smell?......Page 32
Get Your Fashion and Home Decorating Tips from the Movies!......Page 34
In the Workplace......Page 37
A Note to the New Guy......Page 38
A Brief Memo to Brittany......Page 40
A Quick Communiqué to Our New Fashionista......Page 41
You There, with the Big Shiny Apple on Your Desk......Page 42
Your New Job, in a Perfect World......Page 43
The Working Life......Page 45
Get a Crappy Job!......Page 48
Your Résumé: Did You Really Climb Everest?......Page 49
Your Wacky Boss!......Page 50
You and Your Mentor......Page 54
We Just Don’t Want to Wait for You Anymore......Page 55
How to Boil an Egg......Page 59
Mayonnaise! Who Knew It Had So Many Uses?......Page 61
Fabulous Homemade Mayonnaise Sauces......Page 63
How in the World Do I Poach a Chicken? What Is a Poached Salmon?......Page 65
Mea Culpa, Veggies!......Page 68
Your Own Fast Food Kitchen: A Word on Transforming Raw Materials into a Lovely Feast......Page 71
A Really Easy Soup (In case you’re pressed for time and can’t spend hours making chicken stock.)......Page 74
More Kitchen Tips......Page 75
A Damn Fine Cup of Joe......Page 77
Do Dishes Without a Dishwasher?......Page 80
Just Say No to Culottes: Rejecting the Tyranny of Fashion......Page 83
Seemingly Anachronistic Skills We Should All Have: Laundry and Ironing!......Page 87
Why You Need to Know How to Sew on a Button......Page 91
Step Away from the Cologne......Page 94
Seemingly Anachronistic Skills We All Should Have: Thread Your Sweats......Page 100
More Seemingly Anachronistic Skills We All Should Have: How to Tie a Bow Tie......Page 101
Cell Phones: Just Stop It......Page 103
Attending a Party......Page 105
Ears Are Our Friends!......Page 112
A Note on Boredom......Page 114
Be a Perfect Houseguest......Page 116
Drinking......Page 121
It’s Your Turn: How to Throw a Real Grown-up Cocktail Party......Page 127
The Mighty Martini: Don’t Mess with Perfection......Page 130
Some Absurdly Easy Hors d’Oeuvres......Page 134
The Smoking and Drinking Thing......Page 137
How to Throw a Real Grown-up Dinner Party......Page 141
How to Set a Table: An Illustrated Guide......Page 142
What the Hell Am I Supposed to Do with These Flowers, Anyway?......Page 145
Making Your Own Hostess Gift......Page 149
A Word About Carnations......Page 152
Have a Picnic!......Page 153
The Holidays: Starting Your Own Traditions......Page 155
Gravy, I Mean, Oh, Good God, Gravy......Page 157
Tools......Page 159
Oh, Please: Thanksgiving Edition......Page 161
Why Thanksgiving Is the Best Holiday Ever......Page 162
How to Make Your Own Christmas Tree......Page 165
New Year’s Eve: The Greatest Party of the Year! No Pressure at All!......Page 171
Some Things to Do on New Year’s Day......Page 172
Breaking Up Is Hard to Do......Page 175
The Upside of Being Single and Lonely!......Page 178
Your Perfect Imaginary Partner......Page 180
Don’t Give Yourself a Haircut When You’re Depressed......Page 184
Other Things to Avoid When Drunk......Page 187
Dating and Your Writing Skills......Page 188
The Bells Are Ringing: What to Do for the Happy Couple......Page 190
Five-Dollar Latte or Buy a House: How Will I Ever Decide?......Page 195
How to Go a Whole Day Without Spending Money......Page 204
Hey, Mr. Artsy Pants......Page 206
Budgeting Your Life: Boring, but So Satisfying!......Page 208
It’s April 15: Do You Know Where Your Taxes Are?......Page 211
If You Have Lots and Lots of Money......Page 214
Serious Self-Sufficiency: No Blow Dryer? We’re All Gonna Die!......Page 216
Don’t Leave the Water Running While You Brush Your Teeth!......Page 219
Whoa, Dude! Aren’t Your Roommates, Like, Kind of Old?......Page 221
Your Very Caring Parents: Cutting Yourself off Life Support......Page 222
Vote......Page 224
Buy, Borrow, or Subscribe to These Magazines......Page 225
Do You Know?......Page 226
Special Game Show Box by Special Guest Writer Richard Goldman......Page 227
Do You Know . . . What’s in the Bill of Rights?......Page 228
If Only I Had Known: Things I Wish I’d Understood Before I Hit Thirty......Page 231
A Rather Random but Excellent Book List from the Lovely Ladies of Book Group......Page 236
In Conclusion......Page 239
Acknowledgments......Page 241
About the Author......Page 243
Also by Christie Mellor......Page 244
Credits......Page 245
Copyright Notice......Page 246
About the Publisher......Page 247