Understanding Gender and Diversity in Europe: Experiences of Migrant Single Mothers in Denmark

Preface
Contents
Chapter 1: Introduction: The Rationale and Structure
	1.1 Theoretical Framework of Analysis
	1.2 Who Are Danish-Pakistani Single Women?
	1.3 Why Minority Single Women for the Study of Mélange?
	1.4 Women and Migration from Pakistan to Denmark: Phases in the Change of Family Dynamic
	1.5 Methodology
		Narrations
		Fiction and Pakistani Migrant Women
	1.6 Other Sources
	1.7 Transnational Relations
	1.8 Migrant Single Women/Mothers in European Countries
	1.9 Structure of the Book
		Chapter 2: Relational Collectivism and Individualism: Framing of Mélange Familism
		Chapter 3: Danish-Pakistani Single Mothers/Women: A Way of Life
		Chapter 4: Mélange Legalism: Law in the Everyday Lives of Single Mothers/Women
		Chapter 5: Single Women and Divorce
		Chapter 6: Widowhood
		Chapter 7: Never-Married Women in Pakistan
		Chapter 8: Single Women in Later Lives
		Conclusion and a Postscript
Chapter 2: Relational Collectivism and Individualism Revisited: Framing of Mélange Familism
	2.1 Relational Collectivism
		Family Social Structure and Ideology Under Relational Collectivism
		Marriage and Sexual Norms in Relational Collectivism
		Parenting Under Relational Collectivism
		Paid and Unpaid Work: Women in Relational-Collectivist Societies
		Challenges: Relational Collectivism
			Divorcees, Widows and Never-Married Women
			Negotiated Relational Collectivism
			Runaway Women
			State and Society in Pakistan
			Women´s Movements in Pakistan
		Changing Relational-Collectivist Societies
	2.2 Individualism
		What Is Individualism?
		Women´s Movement Before the 1960s and 1970s
			Women´s Movements of the 1960s and `70s in Denmark
		Family Structure and Individualism
		Togetherness and Individualism
			Non-Traditional Ways of Living Together
			Individualisation of Marriage Institution: Confluent and Passionate Love and Egalitarian Family Relations
	2.3 Women and Individualism
		Independence: The Full-Time Dual-Earner Family Model
		Self-Determination: Women´s Control Over Their Bodies
		Equality: Gender Roles, Individualism and Social Motherhood
	2.4 Parenting
		Motherhood
			Laws Dealing with the Relationship Between Children and Parents Individualised
	2.5 Kinship Relations
	2.6 Single Mothers
		Separating and Divorcing Society: Individualism and Single Mothers in Denmark
		Single Motherhood and Economic Classes
		Single Mothers´ Conditions and Lack of Basics
		Assumption of Equality: Logic of Neoliberalism
			State Way of Dealing with the Principle of Individual Responsibility
			Family Ways of Dealing with Single Mothers: Support and Individual Responsibility
	2.7 Towars Mélange Familism
		Agency
			Women´s Agency Under Relational Collectivism
			Covert and Overt Barriers to Agency
		Literature About the New Identities of Migrants
		Muddy Boundary Lines Between Relational Collectivism and Individualism
	2.8 Mélange Familism
Chapter 3: A Way of Life: Danish-Pakistani Single Mothers
	3.1 Family Related Issues and Mélange Familism
		Employment
			Salaried Employment of Women and Individualisation
		Housekeeping
			Marriage
				Marriage in the First Phase of Family Formation
					Arranged marriages
				Marriage in the Second Phase of Family Formation
				Runaway Young Women in Denmark: Negotiability of Tradition and Modernity
			Love Marriages Versus Compassionate Marriages
			Single Mothers´ Attitude Toward the Marriages of Their Children
			Remarriage of Widows and Divorcees
		Issues of Sexuality
			Segregation
			Ignorance About Sex and the Reproductive Process: Challenges of Individualism
			Sex Education
			Sex Before Marriage
		Family Structure: Individualisation of the Extended Family
			Extended Family Individualised
				Extended Family in the First Phase of Family Formation
				Extended Family in the Second Phase of Family Formation
					Female Marriage-Migrant and Extended Family
					Male Marriage-Migrants and Extended Family
				The Third Phase of Family Formation: The Emergence of a New Type of Extended Family
					The Extended Family Concept is Renewed and Adjusted
		Parenting
			Single-Mother Parenting: A New Framework of Understanding
			Children-Centred Lives
			Strict Discipline and Obedience
			Education
			Relationships of Adult Children with their Elderly Single Mothers
	3.2 Ways of Belonging
		Transnational Relationship in the First Two Phases of Family Formation
		Transnational Relationship in the Third Phase of Family Formation
		Community
			Formation of Community
			Gender and Traditional Pakistani Community
		Single Mothers/Women in Need of a Community: Push and Pull
			Community Tools to Control and Discipline: Single Mothers
			Change in Community
			Competing Communities: Women´s Networks
		Single Mothers and Danish Society
			The Positive Role of the Welfare State in the First Phase of Migration
				Single Mothers and Neoliberalism and Neo-Conservatism
			The Danish Feminist Movement and Migrant Women in Denmark
	3.3 Rituals and Emotions
		Mélange Familism and Rituals
			Women as the Main Actors in Family Rituals
			Wedding Rituals
				Marriage Proposals
				Henna (Mehndi Rite)
				Contraction of Wedding Rituals
				Distortions of Wedding Rituals
			Rituals Related to Extended Family
			Give-and-Take Relationships
			Celebration-Rituals
			Childbirth Rituals
			Death Related Rituals
				Widows Dresses Simply
				Last Immersion
				Women´s Access to Visit Graveyards for Burial
				Giving Shoulder During the Funeral Procession
				Funeral Procession
			Emotions, Feelings and Moral Values
				Transnational Interaction and Replacement of Emotions: Cultural Geography of Emotions
				Melange and Emotional Shift from Relational Collectivism Towards Individualism
					Emotions and Habitus
				Emotional Change and Single Mothers
					Emotions in Context: Identity and Self-Understanding
					Widows and Feelings of Pity
					Sacrifice and Patience (Sabra): Moral Values and Emotions
Chapter 4: Mélange Familism and Family Law: The Law in Everyday Lives of Single Mothers/Women
	4.1 Perspectives on Sources of Laws in Pakistan: An Ailing Colonial and Post-colonial Administration of Justice
		Anglo-Mumammadam Laws: First Source of Law
			Legacy of the Colonial Adjudication of Justice After Independence
		Religion: Second Source of Law
		Customary Laws: Third Source of Law
	4.2 Individualism: Formation of the Danish Law: Influences and Sources
		Internal Sources and Influences
			External Sources and Influences
		What Is Danish Family Law?
			Individualism and Danish Family-Related Laws
			Neo-liberalist and Neo-conservatism Legal Sphere in Denmark
			No Distinction Between Private and Public: Individualist Family Values from Above
	4.3 Dynamic of Mélange Legalism
		Individualisation of Muslim Legal Tradition
			Marriage as a Contract
				Is Marriage a Contract or Status under Relational Collectivism?
				Marriage Contract Under Individualism: Dynamic of Change, a Shift from Status to Contract
			Marriage Guardian (Wali)
				Role of Marriage-Guardian (Wali) Under Relational Collectivism
				The Danish-Pakistani Practice of Marriage Guardian (Wali)
			Maintenance Within Marriage
				Maintenance of Wife, Children and Elderly Parents
				Women´s Right to Maintenance Under Relational Collectivism: Conditioned to Her Duty to be Obedient to Her Husband
				Mutual Maintenance Under Individualism in Denmark
			Polygamy
				Polygamy Under Relational Collectivism
				Polygamy Among the Danish-Pakistani
			Mahr
				Mahr, Under the Relational Collectivist Tradition
				Mahr: in the Relational Collectivist Breadwinner Society of Pakistan
				Problems Related to the Payment of Deferred Mahr
				Mahr Among Danish-Pakistanis: Mélange
			Divorce
				Divorce: Individualisation
			Iddat
				The Practice of Iddat in Relational Collectivism: Pakistan
				The practice of iddat in Denmark
			Post-divorce Maintenance: Within or Beyond Iddat
				Post-divorce Maintenance Under Collectivism
				Post-divorce Maintenance in Denmark
			Custody
				Custody Dealing/Matters Among the Danish-Pakistani Community
	4.4 Mélange: Perspective Towards Inter-legal Feminist Jurisprudence
		From Legal Pluralism to Fractal Pluralism
			Marriage as a Contract in Comparative Perspective
			Mahr in Comparative Perspective
				New Interpretations of Muslim Legal Tradition and Consciousness-Raising
			Supplement to the Section on Mahr:
	Appendix 1 Marriage Contract Pakistan
	Appendix 2 Marriage Contract India
	Appendix 3 Marriage Contract Danish Islamic Center
	Appendix 4 Mariam Mosque Marriage Contract
Chapter 5: Creators of Independent Lives: Danish-Pakistani Divorcees
	5.1 Five Narrators: Life Before Divorce
	5.2 Marriage and Divorce
		Marriage and Problems in Married Life
			Tahira
			Abida
			Zabida
			Parveen
			Saba
		Main Issues of the Divorce
			Extended Families
			Problems with Transnational Extended Families
				Oppressive Transnational Extended Families
			Problems with Physical Extended Family
			Infidelity and Polygamy
			Employment in Denmark: Double work for Women
		Divorce-Related Support and Challenges
			Long Delays for Mothers/Women to Initiate Divorce
			Transnational Extended Families Support During the Divorce Process
			Relationship with Ex-husbands
		Divorce-Related Legal Matters
			Limping Divorces
			Custody and Maintenance of the Child
			Abduction of the Child: A Fear
		Settlement in New Life: Relieved but Facing Hard Work
			Sigh of Relief
			New Life Challenges
			Remarriage
			Employment Challenges
		Parenting
			Intergenerational Relationship: Single Mothers´ Parenting Models
				Disagreements Regarding the Upbringing of Children
				Commitment to Making a Good Future for Their Children: Children-Centred Lives
				Between the Competing Value System
				Children Supporting Their Mothers
			Single Mothers and Their Adult Children
				A New Type of Extended Family in Denmark
				Marriages of Grownup Children and Relationships with Their Families
				Fathers´ Relationships with Their Adult Children
				Guardianship and Nikah
	5.3 Negotiating Identity and Belonging: Mélange Familism
		Community: Méange Familism
			Why Single Mothers Need Community
			Community Prejudice Against Divorcees
			Community´s Demur Towards Divorcees
			Gossiping
			Fear from Community
			Push and Pull: Negotiation with the Community
			Conformist and Non-Conformist Attitude
			Women in a Stronger Situation of Bargaining
			Women Against Women
			Change in the Community
			Need of Support: The Nature of Support Differentiated
			Single Mothers Looking for Extended Sources of Local Support
	5.4 The Danish Welfare State and the Women´s Movement
		Support of the Danish Welfare State
		Summing up
Chapter 6: Danish-Pakistani Happy Widows: Break from Tradition
	6.1 Background and Marriage
		Mariam
		Aysha
		Khadija
		Zohara
		Halima
	6.2 Transnational Extended Family Relations: Kinship Support
	6.3 Extended Family in Denmark: Maintaining and Revising Relational-Collectivist Norms
	6.4 Common Challenges
		Employment: Shift from Sole Breadwinner to Dual Breadwinner
		Solutions to the Problem of Double Work
		Limited Knowledge of Sex and Reproduction
	6.5 Widowhood and Life After
		Becoming a Widow
		Seclusion and Challenges in the Early Widowhood Period
		Attitudes Towards Economic Problems
			Iddat
	6.6 Parenting
		Living and Child-Rearing Patterns
		Child-Centred Lives
			Strict Discipline and Control over Values
		Children Helping Their Mothers
		Widows and Adult Children
			Marriage Pattern of Adult Children
		Relationship with the Adult Children´s Families
		Setting Limits to Maintain Privacy and an Individual´s Independent Life
		Help with Household Matters
		Helping Adult Children During Emotional Crisis
		Adult Children Helping Their Mothers
	6.7 The Existential Individual
		Remarriage
		Rituals and Emotions
		Emotions and Feelings
	6.8 Negotiating Identity and Belonging
		Widows and Community
		Paradoxical Lives in the Danish Welfare State
		New Kinship Relations, Women´s Network: More than Blood Relations
		Summing up
Chapter 7: Never-Married Women in Pakistan
	7.1 Importance of Marriage in Relational Collectivist Societies
		Rational for the Chapter on Nerver-Married from Pakistan
	7.2 Expositions for Women to Remain Unmarried
	7.3 Never-Married due to External Circumstances
		Due to Poverty: Lack of Dowry
		To Look After Old Parents, Small Siblings or Small Orphan
		The Zat Factor Is Occasionally Mixed with the Factor of Caring for Family Members
	7.4 Never-Married due to Choice
		Lost Love Is an Explanation for Remaining Unmarried
		Did Not Wish to be Married
			Never married with a choice: Less educated and dependent on the family resources
				The living arrangement, Economic situation, and Relationship with family and society
					Shano
			Nusrat
			Never-Married with a Choice: More Educated and Economically Independent
				The Living Arrangement, Economic Situation, and Relationship with Family and Society
			Hamida
			Sakina
			Farida
			Never-Married Women in a Sufi Sanctuary: Opportunities for Refuge
				Women´s Wing of the House in Waiting´
				Brief Talks
			Summing up Never-Married Women in Pakistan
	7.5 Never-Married Danish Pakistani Women Migrants in Denmark (1960-1980)
Chapter 8: The Lives of Danish-Pakistani Single Women in Olderly Age
	8.1 Perspectives
		Relational Collectivism and Ageing: The Power of Reciprocity
			Cross-Temporal Reciprocity: Children as an Investment
		Individualism and Ageing: Independence
	8.2 Living Mode
		Living on Her Own: Reciprocity, Routine and Loneliness
			Daily Routines
		Co-residence
			A Major Challenge: Loneliness
			Strategies for Coping with Loneliness
	8.3 When Bodies Become Frailer: Where to Live in Old Age?
		Other End-of-Life Matters
			Relationship Between Life and Death
			Attitude Towards Death: The Time of Death Is Decided by God
			About Painful Death
			Transnational Exchange of Death and Sorrow
				Transnational Fantasy: Old Age with Extended Family
			Funeral and Rituals
			Where to Be Buried?
				After Death
			Concluding Discussion
Conclusion: The Challenges Continue
Postscript: Pandemic and Single Mothers
	Pandemic and Family Forms
	The Effect of the Pandemic: Mothers in the Two-Parent Family
	Effects of the Pandemic on Elderly Single Mothers
	Living with Extended Family
		Helping Family and Keeping Up with Individualist Norms
Perspective Towards Nursing Homes in Times of COVID-19
Bibliography