The Worst Person in the World: And 202 Strong Contenders

THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: AND 202 STRONG CONTENDERS......Page 6
Prologue......Page 8
July 2005: Our panel holds a grudge.......Page 16
Alone in This Universe......Page 18
Chest for Hire......Page 19
Free the Press......Page 20
Time to Buy......Page 21
The Lion Is Meat......Page 22
Try Being Sorry......Page 23
Deferred Success......Page 24
Deceased, Do Not Contact......Page 25
Me Included......Page 26
She’s Really Crazy......Page 27
Designated Passenger......Page 28
August 2005: This is from somebody who ran away in terror from a pie.......Page 30
Let’s Play Two......Page 32
Cleaning Up Our Streets......Page 33
Honorary Worst: Joy Ride......Page 34
What Would Be the E-ticket Ride?......Page 36
When Fishes Don’t Behave......Page 37
Glove Cleaner......Page 38
Rush to Judgment......Page 39
Honorary Worst: A Golden Predicament......Page 40
Sharing Costs $19.99......Page 45
We’re Weary Too......Page 46
Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Drunk......Page 47
Pie Lady......Page 48
September 2005: Does he get visibly dumber as the hour wears on?......Page 50
Revisit Your Commitment......Page 52
Honorary Worst: Jumping the Shark......Page 53
Surprisingly Still Employed......Page 55
It Should Be Called Negatronic......Page 56
Does He Get Visibly Dumber?......Page 57
A Bill O’Reilly Glossary of Terms......Page 58
Naming Rights......Page 61
Honorary Worst: Everyone’s Doing a Heckuva Job......Page 62
You Say Nudge, I Say Noodge......Page 64
The National Scold......Page 65
Blood Drive......Page 66
October 2005: And then realized they had a really bad public relations nightmare on their hands.......Page 68
Ice Storm......Page 70
The Student Is Now the Master......Page 71
Picture Perfect......Page 72
Iran County, Florida......Page 73
The Farthest End of Foolishness......Page 74
We’re Proud of What We’ve Accomplished; We’ve Just Begun......Page 75
Honorary Worst: We Report, You Decide......Page 76
Balls......Page 83
Omar Shamshoon......Page 84
The Astronomer Who Discovered a Web Page......Page 85
Think, Don McNulty......Page 86
The Going Rate of a Soul......Page 87
The Most Confusing Parking Sign......Page 88
We’re Still Paying for Him......Page 89
Spanking Bill......Page 90
Honorary Worst: One of the Greatest Pitchers of All Time......Page 91
To Get Girls......Page 95
Totally Supporting the Troops......Page 96
November 2005: Do you wonder if he worries about what his job is going to be, in hell?......Page 98
Gilead Is the Balm......Page 100
A Mother Load of Semen......Page 101
You Vote, We Pay......Page 102
Honorary Worst: A Sticky Situation......Page 103
The Sky Fell......Page 105
Set Up......Page 106
Wonderbra......Page 107
Who Ya Gonna Call?......Page 108
He Had to Carry the Laundry Upstairs......Page 109
Bald Ego......Page 110
Free for $49.95......Page 111
Worse and Worse......Page 112
The Low Spark of High-Heeled Boys......Page 113
Honorary Worst: Juggling the Facts......Page 114
Ham-Burglar......Page 117
Unintelligent Designs......Page 118
Speaking of Sucking......Page 119
Ronald MacDonald......Page 120
Secret Ingredient......Page 121
Triple Crown......Page 122
December 2005: Where does O’Reilly get this nonsense?......Page 124
Happy Holidays......Page 126
Honorary Worst: Millstone Baseball......Page 127
It’s Not the Faith......Page 128
The Lice-Man Cometh......Page 129
DCPD Blues......Page 130
None More Blak......Page 131
The Horror, the Horror......Page 132
Queso No Fresco......Page 133
The Balloon......Page 134
Plano Truth......Page 135
Come On, Pretty Mama......Page 136
Honorary Worst: False Arrest......Page 137
Catholics Against Christmas......Page 138
Man of Stone......Page 139
Bring Your Own Shovel......Page 140
My Three Sons......Page 141
January 2006: He walked right into a propeller again.......Page 142
Je Ne Sais Quoi......Page 144
Soccer’s First Rule......Page 145
Honorary Worst: Disturbing and Disgraceful......Page 146
Man of God......Page 148
Pity His Listeners......Page 149
Think Twice......Page 150
Honorary Worst: Errors......Page 152
Two’s a Crowd......Page 154
Practically Imperfect in Every Way......Page 155
Allegedly the Worst......Page 156
Game Misconduct......Page 157
Conversational, Not Confrontational......Page 158
Martin Luther Bill......Page 159
Savage Reminder......Page 160
Honorary Worst: Fan Interference......Page 161
Hotline to Heaven......Page 163
Jesus Wept......Page 164
The Other Big Giant Head......Page 165
“O’Reilly Has Really Gone Bonkers.”......Page 166
Bill and Payne......Page 167
Ripped from Yesterday’s Headlines......Page 168
Not Anymore......Page 169
Deconstructing Bill......Page 170
February 2006: Without personal attacks, Bill, you’d be a mime.......Page 174
Masters Playing......Page 176
The First Rule of Forgery......Page 177
Know Your Customer......Page 178
Scenic Overlook......Page 179
Fill a Need......Page 180
Honorary Worst: Enemies List......Page 181
Who Was the Signatory?......Page 182
The Crowd Really Did Go Wild......Page 183
If Only a Pigeon Were Driving the Bus......Page 184
Dear Editor......Page 185
She Said She Was the Original Blonde......Page 186
Irony Is Reborn......Page 187
I Hear They Are Calling......Page 188
Hero Librarian......Page 189
Nobody with Brains......Page 190
When Bills Attack......Page 191
Pinhead......Page 192
Graphic Idiocy......Page 193
Incredibility......Page 194
Honorary Worst: Stunned......Page 195
Factually Challenged......Page 198
March 2006: Sane. That’s one fella Mr. O’Reilly has apparently never met.......Page 200
Grace under Fire......Page 202
One Crazy Mother......Page 203
Party On, Wayne......Page 204
Window Dressing......Page 205
Calling Plan......Page 206
In a Sane World......Page 207
Stuck in the Middle with You......Page 208
Rush’s Masterpiece......Page 209
Honorary Worst: The Tighter They Squeeze......Page 210
Nosing Around......Page 211
Honorary Worst: Tip of the Iceberg......Page 212
Whack Job......Page 213
Scouting Mission......Page 214
Off-line......Page 215
Elementary Mistake......Page 216
All in the Family......Page 217
Don’t Pat the Bunny......Page 218
Church Business......Page 219
Endurance......Page 220
April 2006: What are you, Bill, Osama Bin Laden’s spokesman?......Page 222
A Small Problem......Page 224
Dewey Defeats Truman......Page 225
Ugly, Indeed......Page 226
Honorary Worst: Operation Predator......Page 227
Know Your Enemy......Page 228
Your Other Right Hand......Page 229
Monkey’s Paw......Page 230
The Leaders and Worst......Page 231
What’s in a Name?......Page 232
Multiplicity......Page 233
Looks Bad and Smells Worse......Page 234
Garbage......Page 235
A Losing Bet......Page 236
Honorary Worst: Go Ahead, Jeff......Page 237
Hoochie-Coochie Plan......Page 239
Honorary Worst: Upon Further Examination......Page 240
Clowns......Page 241
I Scream......Page 242
The Word Could Have Been Love......Page 243
Rerun......Page 244
Horseshoes and Hand Grenades......Page 245
Honorary Worst: Plea Bargain......Page 246
May 2006: Does that opinion come with the sheet and the hood, Bill?......Page 248
Now and Forever......Page 250
Tortured Logic......Page 251
Honorary Worst: Good Morning, Mr. Phelps......Page 252
Marriage Counselor......Page 253
By the Numbers......Page 254
Sign of the Apocalypse......Page 255
The Wrong Man......Page 256
You’re an Unprincipled Young Man, Hud.......Page 257
Loose Bonding......Page 258
He Had a Friend......Page 259
It’s a Miracle......Page 260
Doomed to Repeat It......Page 261
Barter System......Page 262
The End Is Near......Page 263
Tortured Logic Redux......Page 264
Bouffon......Page 265
What Would Jesus Press?......Page 266
She Stands......Page 267
Mr. Wrong and Ms. Right......Page 268
What’s One More Massacre?......Page 269
Eplilogue: The Worst in Show......Page 270