The Solution-focused Parent: How to Help Children Conquer Challenges by Learning Skills

Cover
Endorsement Page
Half Title
Title Page
Copyright Page
Contents
Acknowledgements
Chapter 1 The rhyme stone tale
Chapter 2 What is the skills approach?
	Jasmin, 6-year-old girl
Chapter 3 How to convert challenges into skills to learn
	Converting challenges into skills is easier said than done
	A better way to handle a challenging situation
	A skill describes desired behaviour
	Search for exceptions to the rule
	Identify the opposite of the problem
	Shift focus from explanations to behaviour
Chapter 4 How to motivate children to learn skills
	Start by talking with your child about skills that they have already learned
	Use “we” instead of “I” messages
	Find out what skill your child wants to learn
	Discuss the benefits of learning the skill with your child
	Join your child in learning new skills
	Reinforce your child’s self-confidence
	Make sure the skill is not too big
	Ask your child to give a name to the skill
	Ask your child to appoint supporters
	Encourage your child to have an imaginary supporter, too
	Plan to celebrate learning the skill
	Help your child come up with a fun way to practise the skill
	Discover diverse ways to praise your child
	Find a way to remind your child of the skill
	Offer your child an opportunity to help someone else learn the skill they have learned
Chapter 5 How to use the skills approach in day-to-day parenting
	Step 1. Think of your wishes as skills for your child to learn
	Step 2. Explain to your child why the skill is an important one to learn
	Step 3. Build your child’s confidence
	Step 4. Remind your child in an agreeable manner
	Step 5. Reinforce your child’s learning
		Praise the child verbally
		Praise the child discreetly
		Praise the child for trying
		Share the child’s progress with other people
		Consult the child
		Ask questions about the child’s progress
		Plan to celebrate
		Next skill for the child to learn
		Use certificates
Chapter 6 Examples: The skills approach in action
	Selective eating, 4-year-old girl
	Selective eating and pooping in pants, 5-year-old boy
	Day wetting, 6-year-old boy
	Refusal to use hearing aid, 7-year-old boy
	Fear of dogs, 7-year-old boy
	Biting nails, 7-year-old boy
	Low self-esteem, 8-year-old girl
	Cursing, 8-year-old boy
	Concentration problem, 9-year-old boy
	Meltdowns, 9-year-old boy
	Sibling rivalry, 11-year-old girl
	Concentration problem, 12-year-old boy
	Interrupting, 12-year-old girl
	Temper tantrum,12-year-old girl
	Gaming addiction, 14-year-old boy
Chapter 7 Children’s challenges from A to Z
	Attention deficit disorder
	Bipolar disorder
	Biting
	Bullying
		Your child bullies other children
		Other children bully your child
	Concentration
	Confabulation
	Cursing
	Defiance
	Depression
	Divorce
	Fears
	Finger sucking
	Hair pulling
	Happiness
	Homework
	Interrupting
	Low self-esteem
	Nail biting
	Nightmares
	Obedience
	OCD
	Overweight
	Perfectionism
	Picky eating
	Playing with fire
	Punishing
	Screen time
	Selective mutism
	Self-stimulation
	Separation anxiety
	Shouting
	Shyness
	Sibling rivalry
	Sleeping
		Your child sleeps in your bed
		Child crawls into your bed at night
	Soiling
	Tantrums
	Tics
	Traumatic experiences
	Unhealthy diet
	Violence
	Wetting
		Daytime wetting
		Bedwetting
Chapter 8 Things to keep in mind
	Establish a connection with the child first
	Make sure the child wants to learn the skill
	Make sure the skill is not stopping undesired behaviour
	Make sure the skill is something that the child can do or say
	Make sure there is an agreement about reminding
	Be prepared for challenges
Chapter 9 Skills approach in schools
	Collaboration with students
	Collaboration with parents
	Working with the whole class
Afterword
Links and Resources
Index