The Piano Practice Physician's Handbook

Your piano practice clinic --
Part One. Chronic issues aka bad practice habits --
1. Start again syndrome: obsessive playing from the beginning no matter the circumstances --
 2. Finger fascination: the tendency to stare at one\'s own fingers while playing --
3. Leap phobia: the habitual slowing of one\'s tempo to prepare for a leap --
4. Octave disorientation: the confounding of notes with the same name in different octaves --
5. I-played-it-better-at-home-itis: the insistence that in-lesson playing doesn\'t properly reflect one\'s practice --
6. Finger hiccups: the habitual repeating of a note or series of notes several times before proceeding --
7. Instant memorisation: the almost immediate playing from memory --
Part Two. Fevers & chills aka tempo issues --
8. Presto infatuation: the aversion to playing slowly --
9. Vivace influenza: the inability to play at a slow tempo --
10. Allegro anxiety: the fear of playing faster than moderato --
11. Tempo shivers: sudden and unplanned tempo changes --
Part Three. Heart palpitations aka beat & rhythm inconsistencies --
12. Restlessness: the neglecting of rest values when counting --
13. Beam fever: the quickening of one\'s pace whenever one sees beamed notes --
14. Rhythm allergy: the complete lack of a rhythmic sense --
15. Obstacle sneezes: the propensity to pause before playing a difficult section --
16. Beat arrhythmia: the lack of a sense of beat or pulse in one\'s playing --
17. Line limp: the belief that barlines are signs for one to stop or yield --
Part Four. Vision impairment aka symbol & marking oversights --
18. Articulation anaemia: the omission of all or more articulation from one\'s playing --
19. Dynamic deficiency: the absence of dynamic contrast in one\'s playing --
20. Accidental amnesia: the consistent overlooking of sharps and flats --
21. Wrist lockdown: the lack of wrist lifts at phrase/slur endings --
22. Fingering forgetfulness: the ignoring of finger numbers --
Part Five. Ear infections aka musical insensitivity --
23. Note deafness: the inability to hear incorrect notes played by oneself --
24. Expression omission disorder: the lack of expression in one\'s playing --
25. Fortissimo fixation: refusal to play at a volume other than the maxium --
26. Pianissmo preoccupation: refusal to play at a volume other than the minimum --
Part Six. Aches & pains aka technique & movement problems --
27. Pedal repulsion: the severe distaste of pedalling --
28. Wrist drowsiness: the drooping of one\'s wrists below a sensible height --
29. Sticky tipitis: the tendency of one\'s fingers to press too firmly into the key --
30. Digit flotation: the touching of keys so lightly one\'s fingers appear to float on the surface --
31. Fused phlanges: the apparant inability to bend one\'s finger joints --
32. Floppy finger predicament: the collapsing of the top finger joint when pressing a key --
Forging your own path and discovering new cures --
Ailment index --
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