The Anger Solution: The Proven Method for Achieving Calm and Developing Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationships

Contents......Page 10
Introduction......Page 14
CHAPTER 1: Anger: The Real Story......Page 22
Why Everyone Tries to Avoid Anger......Page 25
CHAPTER 2: Rage: The Real Culprit......Page 28
How to Tell the Difference between Anger and Rage......Page 30
Soft Rage......Page 37
The Five Things People Do When They Think They Are Expressing Healthy Discontent......Page 38
Four Styles of Rage......Page 46
Enraged or Outraged?......Page 48
CHAPTER 3: Emotional Regression: The Secret Behind Anger and Rage......Page 52
The Brain and Regression......Page 57
Emotional Regression: A "Present-Person/People Eraser"......Page 59
Other Potential Regressors......Page 63
Preconditions for Regression......Page 69
Signs of Regression......Page 73
CHAPTER 4: Passivity: The Hidden Producer of Rage......Page 98
Two Types of Adult Passivity......Page 103
Three Types of Passivity in Children......Page 104
How to Identify Passivity in Yourself......Page 105
Signs of Problems with Passivity......Page 107
Passivity and Rage......Page 110
Fear of the Word Passivity......Page 111
Living Vicariously......Page 114
Solution and Cures for Passivity......Page 115
CHAPTER 5: The Detour Method: The Only Tool You Need......Page 120
How TDM Identifies and Works with the Causes of Regression......Page 123
The Six Questions in TDM Process......Page 125
The Detour Method and Boundaries, Limits, Anger, and Rage......Page 138
Why TDM Will Work for You......Page 156
What Happens When the Detour Is Not Taken......Page 159
Five Keys to Bring You Back to the Present Moment......Page 164
Anger Work You Can Do at Home or in the Office......Page 177
Emotional Release and Discharge......Page 182
Other Ways to Discharge and Release......Page 185
CHAPTER 7: Dropping the Anger and Rage and Becoming Compassionately Assertive......Page 186
"I" Statements......Page 193
The Compassionate Assertive Constitution......Page 199
Completing the Four Compassionate Assertive Statements......Page 201
The 5+5+5 Exercise for Increasing Clarity and Compassionate Assertiveness......Page 206
CHAPTER 8: Anger and Emotional Intelligence......Page 210
Final Thoughts......Page 214
How to Contact the Author......Page 218
Acknowledgments......Page 220
Further Suggested Reading......Page 222
A......Page 224
B......Page 225
C......Page 226
D......Page 227
E......Page 229
F......Page 231
H......Page 232
K......Page 233
M......Page 234
P......Page 235
R......Page 237
S......Page 238
T......Page 239
W......Page 240
Y......Page 241