Talkability.

Cover......Page 1
Title Page......Page 4
Copyright......Page 5
Contents......Page 6
About the author......Page 10
 Author’s acknowledgements......Page 11
Publisher’s acknowledgements......Page 13
Author’s note: An ‘adventure’ with words......Page 14
Foreword by Angela Rippon......Page 16
Part one Talk esentials......Page 19
 Introduction: ‘Feel the magic in the making . . .’......Page 21
 ‘iContact’ or eye contact?......Page 25
 ‘I know you believe you understand . . .’......Page 29
 ‘Paralinguistics’ (it’s the ‘melody’ as well as the ‘lyrics’)......Page 33
 The ‘rhythm’ of talking and listening......Page 37
 It’s the ‘beginnings’ and ‘endings’ (the ‘primacy’ and‘recency’ effect)......Page 41
Part two Saying it right......Page 43
 ‘I said something wrong’ (‘now I long for . . .’)......Page 45
 Turn ‘closed’ questions into ‘open’ ones......Page 49
 Gossip talk......Page 53
 Rules of eye contact......Page 57
 Small talk leads to BIG talk......Page 61
 Tone down the ‘uptalk’......Page 67
 ‘And every conversation, I can now recall . . .’......Page 69
 Mindfulness or ‘mindlessness’?......Page 73
 You reveal your true level of interest by the way you listen......Page 77
 Fight or flight? . . . the ‘amygdala hijack’......Page 79
 ‘We need to talk’ (warning!)......Page 83
 The power of the pause . . . (‘go ahead . . . make my day!’)......Page 87
 Is ‘fine’ the new ‘F-word’?......Page 89
 Invert your ‘BUT’ (and we’re not talking about a Pilatesmove!)......Page 93
 ‘And’ another thing . . . (while we’re on the subject)......Page 95
 Interject, don’t interrupt......Page 97
 Assertion not aggression......Page 101
 I should avoid ‘should’......Page 105
 Never say ‘never’ again......Page 109
 Don’t ask me ‘WHY’?......Page 113
 YOU ought to know better!......Page 117
 Put the ‘I’ in feeling......Page 119
 Can I make a suggestion . . . ?......Page 123
 Don’t tell me about the ‘white bear’......Page 127
 ‘Sorry seems to be the hardest word......Page 129
 The ‘non-apology’ apology......Page 133
 Telephone talk......Page 137
 Networking or ‘notworking’?......Page 141
 Exit ‘lines’......Page 145
 Mirroring? (‘yeah, yeah, yeah’)......Page 149
 Are you a ‘radiator’ or a ‘drain’?......Page 153
 Say ‘yes’ to ‘no’......Page 155
 Balance honesty with courtesy......Page 159
 ‘To be honest’ it’s ‘no problem’......Page 163
 ‘Um’ . . . ‘err’ . . . ‘uh’ . . . target the killer ‘fillers’......Page 167
 Hold the jargon......Page 171
 The magical ‘rule of three’......Page 175
 ‘I’m an extrovert . . . get me in there!’......Page 179
 ‘I’m an introvert . . . get me out of here!’......Page 183
 Feedback . . . ‘How am I doing?’......Page 187
 Don’t forget the ‘positives’ at work......Page 191
 ‘Praise sandwich’ (hold the carbs!)......Page 195
 ‘Tread softly for you tread on my dreams . . .’......Page 199
 ‘Trust me, I’m a doctor’......Page 203
 ‘Trust me, err . . . I’m, err . . . a politician’......Page 209
 ‘I want to tell you a story . . .’......Page 215
 Disagree without being disagreeable......Page 219
 Giving and receiving praise......Page 225
 Men and women at work (‘report’ or ‘rapport’?)......Page 231
 ‘He said’, ‘She said’ . . . (just different?)......Page 235
 Final words: ‘Do you expect me to talk?’......Page 240
Afterword......Page 244
Index......Page 246