South Park and Philosophy: Bigger, Longer, and More Penetrating

Cover
Back Cover
Title
Contents
Bullshit Alarms
Part I: Religion and Other Disabilities
	1. May God Strike This Book Down!
		Chef’s Theodicy
		Free Will (Yawn)
		Evidential Arguments
		Skeptical Theism and Bystander Apathy
		A Simple Plan
	2. Team America: World Pussies, or This Is Not a Picture of Mohammed
		Islam, Islamb, Islame: What’s in a Name?
		Keeping Your Distance, or Use versus Mention
		A Test
		Speaking of Assholes
	3. Infidel Liberation
		Scientology Is Crap, Christianity Is . . .
		Arbitrary Choices
		One Nation Under Whatevuh
		An Oppressed Minority
		Scalia the Enforcer
		Trapped in the Closet
	4. Pussy Epistemology Is No Match for a Dick
		Atheism, or Kiss Cartman’s Left Behind
		America’s Soft Spot
		But Don’t We Need the God Delusion, for Morality?
		Yeah, But What About Peace and Harmony?
		When Libertarian Satirists Attack
		Epistemology for Pussies
		When Closeted Homosexual Evangelical Leaders Attack
		How to Alter the Future by Making a Phone Call
		A Bunch of Things about Pluralism
		A Somewhat Haggard Argument for Pluralism
Part II: Politics and Other Sacred Cows
	5. Die, Hippie, Die! South Park Liberals
		Why Be a Libertarian?
		Libertarianism in South Park
		Fictional Assertion
		The Case for Paternalism, or a Nannyish State, or Why I Don’t Want to Sweat the Small Stuff, or Some Big Stuff Either . . .
		How Far Does Anti-Paternalism Go?
		Smoking, Again
	6. The Death Camp of Tolerance
		Pussies, Dicks, and Assholes
		When to Be a Dick
		Affirmative Action
		Smoking and Toleration
	7. Pious Hindsight: South Park’s Hybrid Vigor
		The Mirage of a Free Fix
		Environmentalists Against Recycling
		Limousine Liberals and Hybrid Humanitarians
		Hybrids as Status Symbols
	8. Drugs Are M’kay!
		Gateways to Perdition
		Drugs Are Porn
		Pleasure, mmm . . . Or Reality?
	9. Nice Going, Fat-Ass!
		Screwing Our Children, and Others
		Discipline, or Lack Thereof
		Rich versus Poor
Part III: Morality and Other Urges
	10. White Jews Can’t Jump
		Distributive Justice
		The “Veil of Ignorance”
		The “World” of Sports
		The Rawlsian Olympics?
		It’s Not Fair!
		It’s Not Natural!
		Drugs Hurt Others
		You’ll Only Be Hurting Yourself
		It’s Unclean
	11. In Defense of Fags
		Uncleanliness Is Next to UnGodliness
		Nature Versus Nurture
		In Defense of “Marriage”
		Costs and Benefits
		Warning: Animal Penetration Ahead
		But It’s Not Natural!
		So What if It Is Wrong?
		Five Billion People Can’t Be Wrong
	12. Tomayto, Tomahto . . . or, What to Do When Life Sucks
		Asshole Scalia Again
		Better Off Dead
		Down the Slippery Slope?
		The Way God Works
		Pulling the Plug on Tomatoes
	13. Animal Protein, or What Killed Ms. Choksondick
		Factory Farms: They’re Not Your Father’s Cows
		Meat and Murder
		Euthanasia, Abortion, Infanticide, and Animals
		A Modest Proposal
		Replaceability
		Pets and the Poor
	14. Are We All Cartmans?
		If Cartman Were Invisible . . .
		They’re Cynical, Those Bastards
		Feeling Bad for Other People
Part IV: Science, Logic, and Other Really, Really Clever Stuff
	15. Time-Traveling Up Your Own Ass
		Time Travel, What the Hell Is It?
		Don’t Be Fooled by Impostors
		We All Know the Real Reason for Christmas Is Santa
		If Oedipus Were a Time Traveler
		License to Kill
		I Do What I Want
		So What?
	16. Start the Evolution Without Me
		The Incredible Talking Pulsar
		God Took My Car Keys?
		Evolution versus Special Creation Theory
		Darwinism versus Intelligent Design
	17. Why Timmy Can’t Read: Mr. Hat’s Philosophy of Progressive Education
		The Death Camp of Tolerance versus No Child Left Intact
		The Backstory
		Inside Out or Outside In?
		The Great Mysteries of Teaching
		Fessing Up
		They’re Coming Right for Us!
	18. Stem Cells, Numb Nuts
		The Science of Stem Cells
		Emotion versus Reason
		Some Crap Arguments
		Thought Experiments, and Like Cases
		Five Frozen Embryos
		One Frozen Embryo
		What Do Embryos Lack?
		Abortion, or Tortured Baby Humans
Part V: Humor and Other Insertable Devices
	19. Killing Kenny: Our Daily Dose of Death
		Messkirch Meets South Park
		You and the Boys
		What Did He Say?
		Falling to Your Death
		Why You Should Care
		Healing a Neurosis
	20. Chef, Socrates, and the Sage of Love
		In Praise of Love
		The Secret Spice
		“You Killed Socrates! You Bastards!”
		For the Challenged
		She Drives Me Crazy, Woo, Woo
		Finding the Clitoris
	21. I Learned Something Today: South Park and the State of the Golden Mean in the Twenty-First Century
		Dude, This Is Pretty Fucked Up Right Here
		The Difference Between Kyle’s Mom and Towelie (Besides Getting High)
		Do Your Own Philosophy at Home! Two Handy Ways to Construct Philosophical Arguments by Ignoring Evidence
		I’m Super! Thanks For Asking!
		Everything I Ever Needed to Know About Aristotelian Moderation I Learned from South Park
		Where Is Brian Boitano when You Need Him?
	22. Douching Your Truth Canal and Other Forms of Rational Hygiene
		Lies Float, Truth Sinks
		Occam’s Douchebag
		How to Be a Fake Psychic
		Psychics Don’t Need the Money
		Gullibility: The Venereal Disease of Dishonest Intercourse
		Fishing for Douches
		Which One Is the Genuine Fake?
		I Love a Catastrophe
		Dihydrogen Monoxide Contaminated Douches
		Douche-based Learning
		Douchebagsayswhat?
		Talking Sense to a Douche
		Douche versus Pussy: The Classic Battle
		Fuck Leave It to Beaver
		And the Loser Is . . .
		Believe at Your Own Risk
Who Sucks Ass?
Totally Inoffensive Index