Interpersonal communication

Copyright......Page 4
Feature Boxes......Page 24
Preface......Page 26
part 1. Introductory Perspectives......Page 31
 1. Communication and Competence......Page 33
   Definitions of Human Communication......Page 34
    Communication Is a Process......Page 35
    Communication Is a Creative Endeavor......Page 36
    Communication Is Regulatory......Page 37
   Summary and Implications......Page 38
   Process Competence: Knowledge about Communication......Page 39
    Interpretive Competence......Page 41
    Self Competence......Page 42
   SCREENING ROOM 1.1 Meet the Parents......Page 43
   Culture and Context......Page 44
   INTERDISCIPLINARY CONNECTIONS 1.2 Insulting the Meat......Page 45
    How Technology Affects Cultural Context......Page 46
  Skill Building: On Taking a Process Perspective......Page 48
   Questioning Communication Revisited......Page 49
   Observation Guide......Page 50
   Exercises......Page 51
 2. Building Interpersonal Relationships......Page 53
   The Situational Approach to Interpersonal Communication?......Page 54
   The Developmental Approach to Interpersonal Communication?......Page 56
   What Is a Relationship?......Page 57
   INTERDISCIPLINARY CONNECTIONS 2.1 The Neuroscience of Love......Page 58
   The Characteristics of Relationships......Page 59
   SCREENING ROOM 2.1 Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind......Page 61
   Private vs. Public Relationships......Page 64
   Independence vs. Conformity......Page 66
   INTERDISCIPLINARY CONNECTIONS 2.2 Mind Your Manners......Page 67
   Communication Competence and Relationships......Page 68
   Some Characteristics of Healthy Relationships......Page 69
  Skill Building: A Preview......Page 70
   Review Terms......Page 71
   Exercises......Page 72
part 2. Sending and Receiving Messages......Page 73
 3. Nonverbal Communication......Page 75
  What Is Nonverbal Communication?......Page 77
   Symbolic Communication......Page 78
   The Power of Nonverbal Codes......Page 79
   Expressing Meaning......Page 80
   Regulating the Flow of Interaction......Page 81
    Proxemics......Page 82
     TERRITORIALITY......Page 83
   INTERDISCIPLINARY CONNECTION 3.1: A Better Place to Live......Page 84
    Kinesics......Page 85
     TYPES OF GESTURES......Page 86
   RESEARCH IN REVIEW 3.1: Pinocchio’s Nose......Page 87
    LOOKING VS. SEEING......Page 88
     UNIVERSAL EXPRESSIONS......Page 89
    Artifacts......Page 91
     PHYSICAL APPEARANCE......Page 92
   The Auditory Communication System......Page 93
   SCREENING ROOM 3.1: Freaky Friday......Page 94
    Olfactics......Page 95
     THE CONTEXTS AND FUNCTIONS OF TOUCH......Page 96
  Balancing Nonverbal Codes......Page 97
   INTERDISCIPLINARY CONNECTION 3.2: The “Guarded Self”......Page 98
   Cognitive Valence Theory......Page 99
  The Interplay of Verbal and Nonverbal Communication......Page 101
   Expressing Feelings......Page 102
   Questioning Communication Revisited......Page 104
   Review Terms......Page 105
   Exercises......Page 106
 4. Language and Interpersonal Communication......Page 109
   How Verbal and Nonverbal Codes Differ......Page 110
  The Functions of Language......Page 112
   RESEARCH REVIEW 4.1: Please and Thank You, Two Magic Words That Open Any Door......Page 114
   SCREENING ROOM 4.1: The King’s Speech......Page 115
    The Importance of Semantic Competence......Page 116
   Pragmatic Meaning: Language at the Level of the Speech Act......Page 117
    Interpreting and Producing Speech Acts......Page 118
    Using Pragmatic Rules in Interaction......Page 120
    Message Production: Achieving Pragmatic Goals......Page 121
  Language, Power, and Politics......Page 122
   Language and Labels......Page 123
    Social Class and Discourse......Page 124
     EARLY FINDINGS......Page 125
     LATER CRITICISMS......Page 126
    Language, Domination, and Freedom......Page 127
    Avoiding Sexist Language......Page 128
   Starting to Talk......Page 130
   INTERDISCIPLINARY CONNECTION 4.2: From Raillery to Rant......Page 131
   Using Free Information During Conversation......Page 132
   Review Terms......Page 133
   Observation Guide......Page 134
   Exercises......Page 135
 5. Listening......Page 137
  What Is Listening?......Page 138
   The Listening Process......Page 139
   Beyond Accuracy: Listening Relationally......Page 140
  Listening and the New Technologies......Page 141
   Types of Listening......Page 143
   INTERDISCIPLINARY CONNECTIONS 5.1: Do Crows Really Use SUVs to Crack Nuts?......Page 144
   Listening Styles......Page 145
  Conflict Management and Effective Listening......Page 146
    Hot Emotions......Page 147
    Biased Perceptions......Page 148
   INTERDISCIPLINARY CONNECTIONS 5.2: Hot Under the Collar or Cool Under Fire......Page 149
   RESEARCH IN REVIEW 5.1: When Parents and Children Don’t See Eye to Eye......Page 151
    Attitudes about Human Nature......Page 153
    Emotional Intelligence......Page 154
   Enhancing Empathic Listening......Page 155
   Questioning Communication Revisited......Page 156
   Exercises......Page 157
part 3. Interpersonal Processes......Page 159
 6. Perceiving and Interpreting Social Worlds......Page 161
   Emotions and Perception......Page 162
   Motivation and Perception......Page 163
   INTERDISCIPLINARY CONNECTION 6.1: The Power of the Present......Page 164
   SCREENING ROOM 6.1: Memento......Page 165
   Cognitive Structures and Perception......Page 166
   RESEARCH IN REVIEW 6.1: When Being Mindful Really Matters......Page 167
   Schemata That Define Roles and Relationships......Page 168
   Schemata Containing Information about the Self......Page 169
   Sizing Up Situations......Page 170
    Episode Identification......Page 171
    Using Scripts to Guide Interaction......Page 172
   Perceiving Other People......Page 173
    Implicit Personality Theories and Interaction......Page 174
    Creating Relational Definitions......Page 175
   Explaining Behavior by Making Attributions......Page 176
    Personality vs. Situation......Page 177
     OVERESTIMATING PERSONALITY......Page 178
   Naïve Realism: Seeing What We Believe......Page 179
   INTERDISCIPLINARY CONNECTION 6.2: Using Reflections and Interpretations......Page 180
    Controlled Categorization......Page 181
   Mindfulness and Open-Mindedness......Page 182
   Increasing Mindfulness......Page 183
   Review Terms......Page 184
   Exercises......Page 185
 7. Meeting Social Expectations......Page 189
   The Nature of Social Roles......Page 190
   RESEARCH IN REVIEW 7.1: “Guys Can’t Say That to Guys”......Page 191
  Choosing Our Roles......Page 193
   Commitment and Role Identity......Page 194
    Face-Work and the Social Self......Page 195
     SETS, COSTUMES, AND PROPS......Page 196
   INTERDISCIPLINARY CONNECTION 7.2: Talking Tough in Teamsterville......Page 197
    ENSEMBLE ACTING......Page 198
   SCREENING ROOM 7.1: Big Fish......Page 199
  Skill-Building: Showing Politeness and Respect......Page 201
   Avoiding Threats to Face......Page 202
   Review Terms......Page 203
   Exercises......Page 204
 8. Establishing Individual Identities......Page 207
  The Self in History......Page 208
   What Is the Self-Concept?......Page 210
   INTERDISCIPLINARY CONNECTION 8.1: The Saturated Self......Page 211
   Self as Narrative......Page 212
   Self as Cognitive Schema......Page 213
   RESEARCH REVIEW 8.1: Presentation of Self in Cyberspace......Page 214
   Self as Relational Achievement......Page 215
   Self as Internal Dialogue......Page 216
  Personality Differences and Interpersonal Communication......Page 217
   INTERDISCIPLINARY CONNECTION 8.2: Zen and the Art of Selflessness......Page 218
    The Noble Self......Page 219
   Communication Apprehension......Page 220
   Intimacy Motivation......Page 221
   What Is Self Disclosure?......Page 222
   General Rules for Revealing the Self......Page 223
   A Case Study in Disclosure: Coming Out......Page 224
   SCREENING ROOM 8.1: Big Eden......Page 225
    What to Say When a Friend Comes Out......Page 227
   Suggested Readings......Page 228
   Exercises......Page 229
 9. Achieving Personal and Relational Goals......Page 231
   Types of Influence......Page 232
   Culture and Influence......Page 233
  Skills for Goal Achievement......Page 234
  Theories of Influence: Understanding Others’ Needs......Page 235
    Classical Conditioning......Page 236
   INTERDISCIPLINARY CONNECTION 9.1: Weapons of Influence......Page 238
    Operant Conditioning......Page 239
   The Need for Consistency......Page 240
    Commitment and Consistency......Page 241
    Value Theory......Page 242
   Summary: Choice and Motivation......Page 244
   RESEARCH IN REVIEW 9.1: Wait ’Til You Hear What I Heard......Page 245
   Self-Presentation Strategies......Page 246
   SCREENING ROOM 9.1: Thank You for Smoking......Page 247
   Influence as Self-Persuasion......Page 248
   INTERDISCIPLINARY CONNECTION 9.2: What’s in a Name?......Page 249
   Compliance-Seeking Strategies......Page 250
   Strategies in Interaction......Page 252
   Becoming Appropriately Assertive......Page 253
   Review Terms......Page 255
   Exercises......Page 256
part 4. Relational Contexts......Page 257
 10. Understanding Family Relationships......Page 259
  Maintaining Family Ties......Page 260
   Family Structures......Page 261
    Decision-Making Structure......Page 262
    Interaction Structure......Page 263
     BOUNDARIES......Page 265
     COORDINATION OF SUBSYSTEMS......Page 266
     PROVIDING CARE......Page 267
     EMOTIONAL SUPPORT......Page 268
     CULTURAL TRANSMISSION......Page 269
    The Family Life Cycle......Page 270
   SCREENING ROOM 10.1: The Kids Are All Right......Page 271
    Illness or Death of a Family Member......Page 272
    Anticipating Change......Page 273
   INTERDISCIPLINARY CONNECTION 10.2: Divorce Is When Your Family Is Dead......Page 274
     REGULATIVE RULES......Page 275
     CONSTITUTIVE RULES......Page 276
    Family Themes and Identity......Page 277
    Husbands and Wives......Page 278
    Parents and Children......Page 279
    Siblings......Page 281
  Families in History......Page 282
  Skill Building: Communicating to Comfort......Page 283
   Questioning Communication Revisited......Page 285
   Observation Guide......Page 286
   Exercises......Page 287
 11. Creating Intimate Relationships......Page 289
   Moving from Public to Private Relationships......Page 290
   RESEARCH IN REVIEW 11.1: This Is Your Brain on Love......Page 291
    Family Messages......Page 292
    Environmental Conditions......Page 293
    Individual Relational Messages and Intimacy......Page 294
     SENDING DOMINANCE MESSAGES......Page 295
     DIMENSIONS OF INTIMACY......Page 296
   Duck’s Filtering Theory of Attraction......Page 297
    Similarity......Page 298
    Complementary Needs......Page 299
  Coming Closer: Creating Intimate Relationships......Page 300
    Experimenting......Page 301
   INTERDISCIPLINARY CONNECTION 11.1: Playing the Dating Game......Page 302
    Integrating......Page 303
    Rawlins’s Friendship Stages......Page 304
   Balancing Relational Dialectics......Page 306
   SCREENING ROOM 11.1: The Social Network......Page 307
    The Novelty-Predictability Dialectic......Page 308
    The Gender Role Dialectic......Page 309
   Perceptual Biases During Maintenance......Page 310
   Relational Maintenance Behaviors......Page 311
   INTERDISCIPLINARY CONNECTION 11.2: Seeing Our Partners Through Rose-Colored Glasses......Page 312
    Differentiating......Page 313
    Avoiding......Page 314
     PROBLEMS OF PUNCTUATION......Page 315
     PARADOXES AND DOUBLE BINDS......Page 316
     SPIRALS AND URPS......Page 317
    Successful Couples......Page 318
     CRITICISM......Page 319
     STONEWALLING......Page 320
   Questioning Communication Revisited......Page 321
   Suggested Readings......Page 322
   Exercises......Page 323
 12. Managing Professional Relationships......Page 325
   Public Realms in History......Page 326
   Interacting in the Public Realm Today......Page 327
     AVOIDANCE RITUALS......Page 328
    Giving Priority to Practical Goals......Page 329
   Space and Place: Community Design and Communication......Page 330
  Interacting in the Workplace......Page 331
   SCREENING ROOM 12.1: Barbershop......Page 332
   INTERDISCIPLINARY CONNECTION 12.1: The Conversational Organization......Page 333
    Attending to Organizational Stories and Rituals......Page 334
     RITUALS AND PRACTICES......Page 335
   Joining the Team......Page 336
   RESEARCH REVIEW 12.1: Lessons from The Apprentice......Page 337
     ESTABLISHING NORMS......Page 338
    Status Differences in Communication......Page 339
   Serving the Customer......Page 340
    One-to-One Marketing......Page 341
   Framing Friendship in the Workplace......Page 342
   Managing the Office Romance......Page 343
  Skill Building: Approaches to Workplace Conflict......Page 344
   INTERDISCIPLINARY CONNECTION 12.2: “Sorry, I’m Not Apologizing”......Page 345
   Choosing Your Conflict Style......Page 346
    Compromise vs. Problem Solving......Page 347
    Problem-Solving Strategies......Page 348
    Rules for Cooperative Problem Solving......Page 349
   Review Terms......Page 351
   Exercises......Page 352
 13. Interpersonal Communication, Culture, and Change......Page 355
   Dimensions of Difference......Page 356
   INTERDISCIPLINARY CONNECTION 13.1: The Thrill of Victory......Page 357
    Attitudes Toward Time: M-Time vs. P-Time......Page 359
    Communication Styles: Low-Context vs. High-Context......Page 360
   American Cultural Patterns......Page 361
    Ethnicity and Language Choices......Page 362
    Regional and Class Differences......Page 364
   INTERDISCIPLINARY CONNECTION 13.2: If You Can’t Stand the Shame, Don’t Play the Game......Page 365
    Prejudice......Page 366
   SCREENING ROOM 13.1: Crash......Page 367
    Communicating Prejudice......Page 369
   The Colonial Period (1600–1780)......Page 370
   RESEARCH IN REVIEW 13.1: When Nobody Knows Who You Really Are......Page 371
    Social Identity and Patriarchy......Page 372
    The 19th-Century Home......Page 373
    Mass Consumption and the American Dream......Page 374
    Personality and Self-Expression......Page 375
   Adapting to International Differences......Page 376
   Increasing Cocultural Understanding......Page 377
   Review Terms......Page 378
   Exercises......Page 379
Glossary......Page 380
References......Page 395
Photo Credits......Page 419
Author Index......Page 420
Subject Index......Page 426