Developing Resilience: A Cognitive-Behavioural Approach

Developing Resilience- Front Cover......Page 1
Developing Resilience......Page 2
Title Page......Page 4
Copyright Page......Page 5
Dedication......Page 6
Contents......Page 8
List of illustrations......Page 9
Preface......Page 10
Introduction......Page 12
Understanding your interpretation of events......Page 13
There’s no education like adversity......Page 14
Why resilience is important......Page 15
Bouncing back or coming back from adversity?......Page 16
‘Vulnerability is for losers’......Page 17
Nietzsche’s nonsense?......Page 18
Resilience doesn’t mean struggling alone......Page 19
Resilience and emotion......Page 20
Resilience and behaviour......Page 22
Resilience beyond reach?......Page 23
Resilience is ordinary, not extraordinary......Page 24
Turning adversity into advantage......Page 25
Looking beyond adversity......Page 27
Defining resilience......Page 28
Introduction......Page 30
Gaining an ABC education......Page 32
Encouraging new thinking......Page 36
Some problems with belief change......Page 39
From insight to action......Page 40
‘I’m more in tune with my feelings than my thoughts’......Page 41
Hope amid despair......Page 43
The will behind the power......Page 44
Light in her darkness......Page 45
Strength through faith......Page 46
The heart examined......Page 47
Introduction......Page 48
‘It’s not my fault I’ve been made a victim’......Page 49
‘I’ll never get over it’......Page 50
‘I can’t stand it!’......Page 52
‘Why me?’......Page 53
‘You can’t escape the past’......Page 54
‘It shouldn’t have happened’......Page 56
‘I’m a failure’......Page 57
‘I’m not me anymore. I feel like a phony’......Page 58
Not facing reality......Page 59
‘I need to know’......Page 61
‘I’m a pessimist by nature’......Page 62
Undermined, but not for ever......Page 64
Introduction......Page 65
Looking for your strengths......Page 66
Revisiting past adversities to uncover useful lessons to help you cope better with current events......Page 69
Envisaging future adversities to build additional resilience strengths......Page 71
Dealing with adversity as it unfolds......Page 73
Move out of your comfort zone in order to endure discomfort......Page 75
Building a strength from scratch......Page 78
Resolve to be more resilient......Page 80
From strength to strength......Page 82
Curiosity......Page 92
The shifting balance of strengths......Page 98
Keep on keeping on......Page 100
Lasting strengths......Page 102
Introduction......Page 103
There’s always more than one way of looking at a problem......Page 104
Stepping back from micromanagement and focusing on self-management......Page 107
The perils of trying to be perfect......Page 110
Embrace discomfort as part of the change process......Page 113
You don’t have to be motivated to undertake boring tasks......Page 116
Being business focused, not self-focused......Page 119
Impression management frequently leaves the wrong impression......Page 123
Don’t use a vocabulary of catastrophe to make a difficult situation worse than it actually is......Page 124
Resilience at work......Page 125
Introduction......Page 127
Don’t turn rejection by others into self-rejection......Page 128
Re-establishing caring communication......Page 130
Standing up for yourself in order to make constructive changes in your life......Page 134
Reconsidering the meaning of trust to try and save a marriage......Page 136
Keeping cool when provoked......Page 137
Fallible people can be the best of friends......Page 140
Bad behaviour doesn’t make a person bad......Page 142
Rethinking your responsibility for someone else’s behaviour......Page 144
Don’t be complicit in your own exploitation......Page 146
Working at relationships......Page 148
Introduction......Page 150
Attempt to resolve a dispute rather than remain stuck with it......Page 151
Learning to tolerate criticism by examining your reactions to it......Page 154
Standing up to a bullying boss......Page 156
Removing guilt to give you more freedom of action......Page 158
Learn not to disturb yourself about someone’s hatred of you......Page 161
Allow others to find their own way in life......Page 164
Self-forgiveness is possible despite what you’ve done......Page 167
‘Am I married to a loser or muddled in my thinking?’......Page 168
Returning hindsight to its proper place......Page 170
Dealing with difficult people starts with self-management......Page 171
Introduction......Page 172
Remember your ABCs......Page 173
Regular psychological workouts......Page 174
Keep a learning diary......Page 176
Dealing with setbacks and relapses......Page 178
Talking about resilience......Page 182
Keep setting goals......Page 183
Lifelong resilience......Page 184
It’s a capacity open to all to learn......Page 185
Resilience is not just about dealing with adversity......Page 186
Act in support of your resilient attitudes......Page 187
Distinguish between what is within and outside of your control......Page 188
Self-belief......Page 189
A final word......Page 190
References......Page 191
Index......Page 195