Bagels, Barry Bonds, and Rotten Politicians

Title Page......Page 3
Table of Contents......Page 5
Foreword......Page 9
Preface......Page 13
Introduction......Page 17
Let Them Eat Bagels......Page 21
Blumert Is So Cool He Gets Tattooed......Page 23
Bagels and Gas Masks......Page 50
Let Them Eat Bagels......Page 48
Laughing All the Way to the Gallows And the Poorhouse......Page 43
Revisiting the Friendly Skies......Page 39
Coffee, Tea, Or Me in Your Agony?......Page 35
Welcome To the Wretched Skies......Page 31
Blumert Survives Shopping At The Mall......Page 27
World War II and Other Glorious Events......Page 53
You Can Even Sell A Soviet Missile At the Right Price......Page 55
Hooray, Its Leap Year And We Have An Extra Day......Page 89
Beware The Phone Call From the Sheriff......Page 86
I Hate Bed & Breakfasts......Page 82
Why Is There A Circus Tent On My House?......Page 79
The Next Generation Remote Control - Zapping People......Page 77
Blumert Produces His Military Records......Page 72
World War II and Other Glorious Events......Page 70
Blumert Almost Qualifies As a Suicide Bomber......Page 66
Memo From Rockwell: \"Blumert, Join the SARS Epidemic\"......Page 64
Blumert Is Sheik For A Week......Page 58
Thanks  A Lot Ron Paul - My House Is Now A Campaign Headquarters......Page 93
Thanks A Lot, Ron Paul - You\'ve Made My Home A Political Campaign Headquarters......Page 95
Conventions, Delegates, And Life In The Swamp......Page 125
I Hate 3rd Parties, But I\'m Infected With 3rd Partyitis......Page 121
I\'m Mad AS Hell......Page 117
Who\'s the Next President?......Page 113
Who Gets the Credit For Al Gore\'s Agony?......Page 109
I Still Hate Rudy. But At Least I\'m Not Alone......Page 104
I Hate Rudy Giulani - You Should Too......Page 101
I Hate Doctors - At Least, Most of Them......Page 131
I Hate Doctors......Page 133
Getting Old Is No Bargain In Any Culture......Page 162
Did He Say, \" A Four Hour Erection?\"......Page 157
Saved From the Surgeon\'s Blade......Page 153
Keep That Knife Away From My Chest......Page 148
The Annual Physical Exam And Other Scams......Page 143
I Still Hate Doctors and Now They Hate Me......Page 136
Gold, Gold, Gold, Gold, and More Gold......Page 169
The New Yorker Magazine Slams Gold and Gold Owners......Page 171
The Kiung Doesn\'t Like Gold, Never Has, Never Will - Unlike Mr. Chang......Page 203
Confessions Of A Gold Pusher......Page 200
Beward the Chartist: He Brings You False Science......Page 197
The \"Hardly Noticed\" Rally of Gold......Page 194
If You Want To Make God Laugh, Tell Him Your Plans......Page 191
Yes, There Are Risks When You Buy Gold......Page 186
What is Happening In the Gold Market?......Page 184
Celebrating The Anniversary of a Crime......Page 178
Buy When The Blood Is in the Streets, Unless It\'s Your Blood......Page 176
Barry Bonds Committed The Unforgiveable Sin......Page 211
Steroids, Schmeroids: No Asterisks for Barry, Please......Page 213
Seabiscuit Revisionism......Page 228
Bam, Whack, Pow......Page 227
The Mortality of Baseball Players......Page 221
The Unforgiveable Sin: The Superstar The Media Hates......Page 217
They Are Coming To Get Me (Or Am I Paranoid?)......Page 233
If I Don\'t Show Up At My Office Tomorrow, You\'ll Know They Got Me......Page 235
Memo to Abe Foxman: \"Abe, I\'m Only Kidding\"......Page 254
Hello, PG&E - Are You Still in Business?......Page 251
LRC Has Made the Big Time, But Lew Rockwell May Be Exiled To China......Page 248
My Palestinian Pals......Page 243
Blumert Intercepts A White House Memo......Page 240
Here\'s the Proof: They\'re Out To Get Me......Page 238
Are You A Threat To Liberty? Take the Blumert Test and Other Impertenent Essays......Page 257
In Defense of Y2K Extremists......Page 259
Are You A Threat To Liberty? Take the Blumert Test......Page 277
Were Monica and Chandra Spies?......Page 273
Don\'t Send Me to Dixie If I Can\'t Get Egg Rolls......Page 269
Serial Killers of America, Unite......Page 267
California\'s Four Seasons: Fire, Flood, Drought, and Earthquake......Page 264
Poor Burt - He\'s In The Market For A Home Haircut Kit......Page 262
Five People In The World Understand Gold And They Have Six Different Options......Page 285
Maintaining Your Sanity When Gold Drops $45......Page 287
The Only Time The US Mint Get\'s It Right IS When They Do It Wrong......Page 303
How Many Drachma Do Get For A Reagan?......Page 299
New Gold Buyers Better Read This!......Page 297
I Listened To what I Was Saying And Got Scared......Page 293
Louise Allowed Me to Make My Letter to Her Public......Page 292
The Power of an Eight Dollar Rise in the Price Of Gold......Page 290
The War Between The Sexes And Emulating \"Mr. First Nighter\"......Page 311
H. L. Mencken\'s In Defense of Women......Page 313
Whew, That Was A Close Encounter......Page 340
Germs And The Movies......Page 334
There Was Life Before Gilligan\'s Island......Page 332
Burt Goes To The Movies Kicking And Screaming......Page 326
New Bookmark......Page 323
Shanghei and Mao......Page 319
Reminiscences of Murray Rothbard and Other Great Men......Page 343
Reminiscences of Murray......Page 345
Lew Rockwell\'s Doer\'s Profile......Page 355
Rest In Peace, Rev. \"Rush\"......Page 351
Robert Nozick. Rothbard, and Me At The World Trade Center......Page 346
Index......Page 357