Anthony DeMello Awareness "Wake Up To Life" Conference Transcript - Anthony De Mello 's Complete Collected Works Transcribed From His Speech (Awareness, Rediscovering Life, Way to Love, Lovesprings, How to love, How to pray, how to be real, Way to God for today)

Anthony de Mello Magnum Opus PDF Collection ( Full Transcripts of Anthony De Mello’s talks)
Anthony de Mello Awareness / Wake up to Life New York 1986 Conference Anthony de Mello Rediscovery of Life ( Rediscovering Life ) at Fordham University, New York
Anthony de Mello Way To God for Today
Anthony de Mello Wake up to Life Conference - How to Pray, How to be Real, How to Love
Anthony de Mello Lovesprings ( Way to Love )

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Rediscovery of Life Part 000
[Speaker 1] (0:03 - 20:00)
Well, let me begin by telling you what I plan to do with you today. First of all, I am delighted to be talking to a young group. The first time I am doing this in the United States, I mean, I can see all of you are very young, even the somewhat older looking ones, but.
You know, I plan to keep this as relaxed and as homely as possible. Someone has told you, I think this is going to be a retreat, well I, yes, a retreat of sorts, you know, your, this isn\'t a church, where I think this is going to be more in the nature of a kind of a dialogue. I discovered something 10, 12 years ago and it turned my life upside down, revolutionized my life.
I became a new man. So this is what I am going to share with you. Happy to share it with you.
In a special kind of way though, because you might say to me, how come you heard this just 10 or 12 years ago? Hadn\'t you read the Gospels? Of course I had read the Gospels, but I hadn\'t seen it.
It was right there, but I hadn\'t seen it. Later, having discovered it, see, I found it in all the major religious writings and I am amazed, I mean, I was reading it and I hadn\'t recognized it, hadn\'t seen it. I wish to God I had found this when I was younger, like most of you, oh what a difference it would have made.
So how long would it take to give it to you, a whole day or, to be honest with you, a couple of minutes? I don\'t think it would take more than two minutes. Giving it to you wouldn\'t take more than a couple of minutes, I don\'t think.
Grasping it or getting it might take you 20 years, 15 years, 10 years, 10 minutes, one day, three days, who knows, who knows, that depends on you. If you would bring one quality to this little session we\'re having here together today, just one, you need one quality to see what I sort of saw 10 years ago and what revolutionized my life. Various people have told me hence, since then, that their lives were pretty much revolutionized too, but not too many people, I\'m sorry to say, very few.
I tend to think that if about, let\'s say 1,000 people are listening to me and one hears it, that\'s a pretty good average, pretty good average. Is it difficult to hear, is it difficult to understand? It\'s so simple a seven-year-old child could understand it.
Isn\'t that amazing? And in fact, when I think of it today, I think, why didn\'t I see it? I don\'t know.

 I don\'t know why I didn\'t see it, but I did. Now maybe one or other of you might see it today or might see part of it. What would you need to see it?
Just one thing, the ability to listen, that\'s all. Are you able to listen? If you can, you might get it.
Now, listening is not as easy as you might think it is. Reason, we\'re always listening from kind of fixed concepts, fixed positions, prejudices. See, listening does not mean swallowing.
That\'s gullibility. Oh, he says it, so I take it. I don\'t want any of you to have any spirit of faith while you\'re listening to me.
I mean, you could take what the church teaches on faith. You could take the Bible on faith, et cetera. Don\'t take me on faith.
What I want you to do is question everything I\'m saying. Think about it. Come back at me.
Feel free to do that. See, even while I\'m talking, ask questions, raise your hands anytime. I\'d be happy to do this kind of dialogue with you.
So, it does not mean gullibility. But then listening doesn\'t mean attacking, see. Because I\'m going to say something so new, some of you are going to think I\'m crazy.
I\'m out of my mind. So, then you\'re going to be tempted to attack. If you tell a Marxist there\'s something wrong with Marxism, the first thing he\'s likely to do is attack you.
You tell a capitalist there\'s something wrong with capitalism, he\'s up in arms. You tell an American, hey, you know, there\'s something wrong with the United States. And the same with the Indian, if you\'re attacking India, et cetera.
It doesn\'t mean swallowing. It doesn\'t mean attacking. It doesn\'t mean agreeing.
They tell me about a Jesuit superior who was a great success, see. So, somebody said to him, how come you\'re such a great success as a superior? He says, very simple, the formula is simple.
I agree with everyone. I disagree with everyone. They said, don\'t be absurd.
How could he be a successful superior agreeing with everybody? He says, that\'s right. How could I be a successful superior agreeing with everybody?
So, it doesn\'t mean agreeing with me. You could disagree with me and get it. Isn\'t that amazing?
It means being alert. You\'re alert, you\'re watching, you\'re listening with a kind of a fresh

 mind. That\'s not easy either.
Listening with a fresh mind, without prejudices, without fixed formulas. Just yesterday, somebody told me the story of the guy who was told that, you know the famous saying, you have an apple a day, keeps the doctor away. Well, this guy was having an affair with the doctor\'s wife and was eating an apple a day.
So, he got it all wrong. He got it all wrong. He was from a fixed formula, see.
A fixed position. They tell me, too, of a priest who was sort of trying to convince an alcoholic parishioner that he ought to give up drink. So, he gets a glass of alcohol, pure alcohol.
And he gets hold of a bug, a worm, and he drops it into the glass. And the poor worm begins to wriggle and dies. And he says to the parishioner, you got the message, John?
John said, yeah, Father, I got the message. I got the message. You know, you got a bug in your stomach?
Alcohol\'s the thing to take. He got the message, yes. John wasn\'t listening, see.
He wasn\'t listening. Well, I know a case where Father wasn\'t listening either, because they tell of the alcoholic who goes to the parish priest. The parish priest was reading the newspaper, didn\'t want to be disturbed.
He said, excuse me, Father. Father was irritated. He ignored him.
Excuse me, Father. Father said, what is it? He said, could you tell me what causes arthritis, Father?
Father was irritated. What causes arthritis? He says, drinking causes arthritis.
That\'s what causes arthritis. Going about with loose women causes arthritis. That\'s what causes arthritis.
Gambling causes arthritis. That\'s what causes arthritis. Why did you ask?
He says, because it says in the paper here that the Holy Father has arthritis. Father wasn\'t listening, see. Say, okay.
All right. If you are ready to hear something new, simple, new, unexpected, against almost everything you\'ve been told till now, ready to hear that? Then maybe you\'ll hear what I have to say.
Maybe you\'ll get it. You know, when Jesus taught the good news, I think he was attacked, not only because what he taught was good, but because it was new. We hate anything new.

 I hated anything new. I don\'t want to hear anything new. Give me the old stuff. We don\'t like the new. It\'s too disturbing. Too liberating.
Okay. So the ability to listen. Buddha formulated it beautifully.
He says, monks and scholars must accept my words not out of respect, must not accept my words out of respect, but must analyze them the way a goldsmith analyzes gold, by cutting, scraping, rubbing, melting. You must not accept my words out of respect, but analyze them by cutting the way the goldsmith analyzes gold, see. Cutting, scraping, rubbing, melting.
Okay, so we\'ve got that clear. Next, the theme of today. We said the rediscovery of life.
So let\'s begin the investigation. Let\'s begin the research. And then I\'ll get you even to talk to one another and share views, etc.
Okay, so let\'s start. Life. What\'s this thing we call life?
Take a look at the world, and then I\'ll invite you to take a look at your own life. Take a look at the world. Poverty everywhere.
I read in the New York Times yesterday that the bishops of the United States claim that there are 33 million people in the United States who are living below the poverty line drawn by the government itself. If you think that is poverty, you ought to come to other countries and see the squalor, the dirt, the misery. You call that life?
Well, I\'ve got news for you. I\'ll show you life even there. About 12 years ago, a little more, I was introduced to a rickshaw puller in Calcutta.
You know what a rickshaw is? It\'s a guy who... It\'s awful.
I mean, a human being, you don\'t have a horse pulling you, but you\'ve got a human being pulling you. The lifespan of these poor men is from 10 to 12 years once they begin pulling the rickshaw. They don\'t last very long.
They get tuberculosis. Now Ramachandra, Ramachandra was his name, Ramachandra had TB. At that time, there was a little group of people engaging in an illegal activity called exporting skeletons.
The government eventually caught on to them, but you know what they did? They sort of bought your skeleton while you were alive. If you were very poor, you went to them and you sold your skeleton for the equivalent of about $10.
And so they\'d say to you, many of these rickshaw pullers, they\'d say, how long have you been working in this trade? And Ramachandra says, 10 years. And they think, he doesn\'t

 have much longer to live.
All right, here\'s your money. Then the moment you die, they pounce on the body. They take it away.
And then when the body is decomposed, through some process they have, they get hold of the skeleton. Well, Ramachandra had sold his skeleton. That\'s how miserable he was.
And so on and on. He had a wife, he had kids, and the squalor, the poverty, the misery, the uncertainty. You\'d never think to find happiness there, right?
One day I said to this guy, nothing seemed to face him. He was all right. Nothing seemed to upset him.
I said to him, aren\'t you upset? He said, about what? You know, your future, the future of the kids.
He said, well, I\'m doing the best I can, but the rest is in the hands of God. I said, hey, but what about your sickness? That causes suffering, doesn\'t it?
He says, a bit. We\'ve got to take life as it comes. I never once saw him in a bad mood.
Well, one day when I was talking to this guy, I suddenly realized I was in the presence of a mystic. I suddenly realized I was in the presence of life. I was right there.
He was alive. I was dead. You know, a person, a man, who reincarnated in himself, those lovely words of Jesus, look at the birds of the air.
Look at the flowers of the field. They don\'t sow. They don\'t spin.
They don\'t have a moment of anxiety for the future, not like you. He was right here. He must be dead by now.
I met him very briefly there in Calcutta and then went on to where I live now, further south in India. What happened to this guy, I don\'t know. But I know I\'d met a mystic.
Extraordinary person. He discovered life. Rediscovered. Discovered. You know, it\'s interesting. I frequently reflected.
The human mind is such an extraordinary thing. It has invented the computer. It has split the atom.
It sends ships into space. It has not solved the problem of human suffering, of anguish, loneliness, emptiness, despair. You\'re pretty young, most of you.
But I honestly don\'t think you\'re strangers to loneliness, heartache, emptiness,

 depression, despair. How come we haven\'t found the answer to that? We\'ve made all kinds of technological advances.
Has that raised the quality of our living by one inch? Want to know my opinion? No. Not one inch. Oh, we have more comfort. More speed.
Pleasures. Entertainment. That\'s right.
More erudition. Greater technological advances. What I\'m saying is, any improvement on that loneliness and emptiness and heartache, any improvement on that greed and hatred and conflict, less fighting, less cruelty, if you want my opinion, I think it\'s worse.
And the tragedy is, as I discovered 10 or 12 years ago, the secret has been found. They discovered the atom. We don\'t have to go in search of solving it.
We got the solution. Why don\'t we use it? We don\'t want it.
That\'s right. Would you believe that? We don\'t want it.
We don\'t want it. Can you imagine my saying to somebody, look, I\'m going to give you a formula which would make you happy for the rest of your life. You\'ll enjoy every single minute of the rest of your life.
Imagine my saying that to you. I\'m going to say that to you today. I\'m going to give you the formula.
I\'m going to give it to you. You know what most of you are going to do? Sorry for insulting you in advance, but if you\'re anything like the audiences I\'ve had till now, you know what most of you are going to do?
You\'re going to say, stop it. Don\'t tell me. Stop it.
Don\'t want to hear it. They don\'t want to hear it. And you don\'t even have to take that on faith.
I\'m going to prove it to you. You\'re going to prove it to me before the end of today. Oh, we\'re going to have a lot of fun.
You watch. You don\'t want it. Six months ago, or roughly six months ago, last summer, I was in St. Louis, Missouri, giving a workshop, kind of a weekend workshop, there was a priest there who came to see me. He said, you know, I accept every single word you\'ve said over these three days, every single word of it. And you know why? Not because I\'ve done what you encouraged us to do, to cut and rub and scrape and analyze.
He says, no. He said about three months ago, I assisted an AIDS victim on his deathbed. And the man told me the following.

 He said, Father, six months ago, the doctor told me I had six months to live. How right he is. Because how right he was.
The man was dying, see. He said I had exactly six months to live. And I believed him.
You know something, Father? These have been the six happiest months of my whole misspent life. Happiest.
In fact, I\'ve never been happy till these six months. I discovered happiness. He said as soon as the doctor told me that, I dropped tension, pressure, anxiety, hope, and fell not into despair but into happiness at last.
And the priest said, you know, many is the time I\'ve been reflecting on the words of that man. He said when I heard you this weekend, I thought, the guy\'s come alive again. You\'re saying exactly what he said.
Here\'s another guy who had it, who found it. You\'re Christians, most of you. You know, I\'m accustomed to talking to groups that are not Christians either.
Then I generally take the Koran. Philippians. For whatever the situation I am in,

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Rediscovery of Life Part 001
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 19:59)
I find myself, you\'ve got it right here, the formula is here, well he doesn\'t tell you how to do it, that I shall supply, no it\'s right here too, the formula is here too, how to do it is here too, but listen to what he says, for whatever the situation I find myself in, I have learnt to be self-sufficient, what do you mean self-sufficient, you\'re not, yeah yeah there it goes, you\'ll be attacking me before the end of today, yeah yeah, for whatever the situation I find myself in, I have learnt to be self-sufficient, I am experienced in being brought low and I have known what it meant to have abundance, I have learnt how to cope with every circumstance, how to eat well or to go hungry, to be well provided for or to do without, I have learnt to cope with every circumstance, how to eat well or to go hungry, to be well provided for or to do without, a little earlier he says, rejoice always, rejoice in the Lord, again I say it, rejoice, I think of Ramachandra in Calcutta, I think of that AIDS victim in St. Louis, that\'s what he\'s talking about, I had read it all my life and had never understood it, I mean it was staring at me, staring me in the face, didn\'t grasp it, okay, let\'s suppose you want to grasp it, let\'s suppose you want to see it, what do you have to do?
A, understand a couple of truths about yourself, then I\'ll throw the formula at you and you make what you want of it, so here goes, what do you have to understand about yourself? First, your life is in a mess, don\'t like to hear that? Well, maybe it proves that it\'s true, your life is in a mess, maybe you\'ll say to me, maybe, if you\'re like the average person I run into, your life is in a mess, people will say to me, what do you mean my life is in a mess?
I\'m doing pretty well in my studies, I got good parents, I got good relations with my family, I\'ve got a boyfriend, I\'ve got a girlfriend, everybody likes me, I\'m doing well at sports and I have a pretty brilliant career ahead of me, oh yeah, yeah, do you think your life is not in a mess? He says no, all right, tell me, here\'s the acid test, ever feel lonely? Any heartache?
Ever get upset by anything? You mean aren\'t we supposed to get upset? You want the clean, clear, simple answer?
Yeah, no, you mean not be upset by anything? That\'s right, you heard me, no, shut up, I don\'t want to hear any more, see what I mean? No, he got a theory, he\'s got a theory, you got to be upset or you\'re not human, okay, go ahead and be upset, good luck, bye.
You know there\'s a lovely saying by one of your American authors which I frequently quote, he says, don\'t teach a pig to sing, it wastes your time and irritates the pig. I had to learn the lesson the hard way, I\'ve stopped trying to teach pigs to sing, you don\'t want to hear what I\'m saying, bye, no arguments, they don\'t argue, I\'m ready to explain,

 ready to clarify, why try to argue, not worth it. So, ever suffer any interior conflict?
You mean all your relationships are going well with everybody? Well, no, your life is in a mess. You mean you\'re enjoying every single minute of your life?
Well, not quite, but see what I told you, it\'s in a mess. Hey, wait a minute, the incarnation, yeah, yeah, all right, bye, see you later, alligator. Why argue?
I\'m not interested in arguing with you, period. I know because I was doing that all along, not interested in arguing. You either face the fact that your life is in a mess or you don\'t.
You don\'t want to face it, I\'ve got nothing to say to you. And your life is in a mess means you\'re a victim of heartache, at least occasionally, you feel lonely, there\'s emptiness staring at you, you\'re scared, you\'re scared? Yeah, your life is in a mess.
You mean we\'re not supposed to be scared? No, sir or madam, as the case may be, no, not supposed to be scared about anything, about anything. But Mohammed was, excuse me, we\'ll deal with Mohammed later, all right, let\'s talk about you.
Fearlessness, you don\'t know what it means. And the tragedy is you don\'t think it\'s available. It\'s so easy to get, since they told you it\'s not available, you never try to find it.
But it\'s right here all over the Bible. And you won\'t see it. Because they told you it\'s not available.
You anxious for the future? Any whiff of anxiety, worry, upset? Yeah, you\'re in a mess.
How about that? Want to clean it up? I\'ll clean it up for you in five minutes, depending on how ready you are.
You don\'t have to move out of that chair. You could be sitting in that chair and you would clean it up in five minutes. And I mean that this isn\'t a sales gimmick.
I mean, it\'s so simple. And it\'s so deadly serious that people miss it. And you can have it.
You know, there\'s a, do you know how they discovered the diamond mines in South Africa? It\'s a very interesting story. I read it some time back.
This author says, I think it was an American, a guy, a white man who was there in South Africa, was sitting at the hut of the headman of one of these South African villages. And he sees the kids there playing with what looked like marbles. And his heart skipped a beat when he recognized that those weren\'t marbles at all.
They were diamonds. Picked a couple of them up. Diamonds.
So he says to the village headman, he says, could you give me some of these? You

 know, I\'ve got children back home who play this sort of game too. And yours are a bit different.
Could you, you know, I\'d be ready to give you a pouch of tobacco for this. And the chief laughed. He said, look, this would be highway robbery.
I mean, it\'d be real robbery to take your tobacco for these things. We\'ve got thousands of them here. So he gave him a basket full.
The guy comes back, goes back with a lot of money, buys up all of that land. And within 10 years, he\'s the richest man in the world. Now, you know, that could be a parable.
It\'s tragic. It\'s painful to think. I mean, I think back on my own life and I think, why did I waste it?
I wasted it. And all kinds of wonderful things, believe me. Pastoral ministries, theological enterprises, liturgical services, etc., etc., etc. You know, the more occupied we are in the things of God, we priests, the more likely we are to forget what God is all about. And the more complacent we\'re likely to become. That\'s the story of Jesus.
Who do you think got rid of Jesus? The priests. Who else?
The religious people. That\'s the terror of the gospel, see. All right.
So now, I think I wasted it. I don\'t have a minute to regret. Why waste even a minute regretting the past?
Okay. But the fact is, I wasted it. Reminded of that powerful story of the fisherman who goes out early in the morning to fish.
And it\'s too, whatever, I don\'t understand these things, but apparently it\'s too dark or something. And his foot hits upon something that seems like a sack. So he picks it up, probably washed ashore from some shipwreck or whatever.
Then he opens it and he can feel pebbles inside. So he takes these pebbles and he entertains himself till it\'s dawn, see, by flinging those pebbles far out into the sea and to see if he can judge from the plop how far he has sent the pebbles. Well, when it becomes a bit light and the dawn begins to, or when the day begins to dawn, he looks into the sack and he finds three precious stones there.
God, they were filled with precious stones and he hadn\'t known it. Too late. Too late.
Too late. Too late. Not too late.
Three stones still. Not too late. Not too late.
Let\'s suppose, let\'s suppose this guy, he\'s starving. These people who were sitting on top

 of those diamond mines, they\'re starving, their children are undernourished, etc. They\'re looking for food, they\'re begging, they\'re pleading with people to feed them and someone says, hey, don\'t sell that property.
You\'ve got diamond mines. You see this thing? You see this thing? It\'s a diamond. You could sell it. You could get $100,000 for this.
They say, him no diamond, him stone. He got it in his head that that\'s a stone. Refuses to listen.
No, that\'s a stone. Now, that\'s the condition of people everywhere. They won\'t hear you. They won\'t listen. You\'re telling them life is extraordinary. Life is delightful.
You could enjoy it. You wouldn\'t have a minute of tension, not one, no pressure, no anxiety. You want it?
Not possible. Never been done. Cannot be done.
No spirit of research, of investigation. Let\'s find out. That\'s good.
No, no, no. Can\'t be done. I don\'t want to hear you.
I mean, our priests have told us it can\'t be done. Our psychologists tell us it cannot be done. You\'re coming to tell us it can be done?
Out. Too bad. All right.
So the first thing, are you ready to admit that your life is in a mess? Second, this is a bit tougher, okay? You don\'t want to get out of it.
You do not want to get out of the mess. You talk to any psychologist who\'s worth his name and he\'ll confirm that. The last thing a client wants is a cure.
He doesn\'t want to get cured. He wants relief. Eric Byrne, one of your great psychiatrists here in the United States, puts it very graphically.
I won\'t give his exact words because I\'m a bit scared. You know, this is traveling, how much did he say, 44,000 miles? I better use a respectable language.
He says, imagine a client who\'s up to his nose in a cesspool, okay? Yeah, he calls it liquid S-H-I-T. So he\'s up to his nose in a cesspool.
All right. And he\'s coming to you and you know what he\'s saying to you? He\'s saying, could you help me so people won\'t make waves?
Doesn\'t want to get out. Oh, no, no, no. Get out for heaven\'s sake.

 No. Just help me so they won\'t make waves. That\'s what he wants.
He doesn\'t want to get out. He doesn\'t. You want to test that on yourself?
I\'ll give you a couple of minutes. You could do it right now. You want to test it on yourself?
Okay, here goes. Suppose you could be blissfully happy, but you\'re not going to get that degree. Ready to barter your degree for happiness?
Not going to get that girlfriend of yours or that boyfriend. Ready to barter them for happiness? You know something?
You\'re not going to be a success. You\'re going to fail. And everybody say he\'s a bum.
But you\'ll be happy. You\'ll be blissfully happy. Ready to barter the good opinion of people for that?
Oh, no. I\'ll give you time to think about it later. Oh, no.
No, sir, or madam. I told about that Chinese student who was learning English. And he learned it from a book, of course, the poor kid.
And this lady says, Would you have a cup of tea? He says, Yes, sir or madam, as the case may be. There it is.
So no, sir. So anytime I say no, you could take the madam for granted as the case may be. All right.
So no, sir, he\'s not ready. When I was in Syracuse last summer, I read a nice ad that says, you know, there\'s this girl holding onto a boy, the ad in the newspaper. And she says, I don\'t want to be happy.
The only happy people I know are in a lunatic asylum. I want to be miserable with you. See what I mean?
I don\'t want to be happy. I want to be miserable with you. She\'ll develop a theology about the damn thing after a while.
They don\'t want to get out of it. They don\'t want it. They don\'t want it. They don\'t want it. I don\'t want happiness. I want fame.
I don\'t want happiness. I want to get that gold medal at the Olympics. Suppose I tell you, look, give up the gold medal, you\'ll be happy, damn it.
What do you want that gold medal for? What do you want to be the top, the boss of the

 corporation for? I\'ll make you happy.
On $10,000 a year, I\'ll make you happy. No, no, no, no. Give me my money, my money, my money, my money, my money.
See what I mean now? Now you\'re catching on. They don\'t want to be happy.
They don\'t want to live. They want money. You know that guy Ramchandra, the Foreign aid is fine.
He didn\'t need foreign aid, not to live. He needed foreign aid for comfort. He needed it for health, not for life.
He might have needed it for longevity, which means, you know, a long life. But you call that a long, you call that life? Long existence.
Not to live. He was living. I was dead.
He knew what life was. He was happy. He was like the birds of the air and the lilies of the field.
He was an incarnation of the Sermon on the Mount. It was all there in the Sermon on the Mount. I discovered later.
It\'s all there. I hadn\'t seen it. He lived like a king.
What does it mean to live like a king? You know what idiots think it means? And the world is peopled with them, believe me.
Idiots. You know what they think it means? It means moving around in limousines, having everybody curtsy to them and salute them and all that sort of rubbish, all that sort of garbage, have their names in the headlines.
They think that means having power over people. They think that\'s what it means to live like a king. I\'ll tell you what I think it means.
They\'re not living like kings. They\'re slaves. They\'re terrified.
Look at their faces on television. For heaven\'s sake, those kings and queens and presidents and the rest of them. Look at them on television.
You\'d recognize it at once. He\'s scared. You know why he\'s scared?
Because he wants power. That\'s why. He wants prestige.
He wants a reputation. That\'s why. He\'s not living like a king.
I\'ll tell you what it means to live like a king. No anxiety at all. No inner conflict at all.

 No tensions. No pressures. No upset.
No heartache. So then what are you left with? Happiness, undiluted.
People sometimes say, what do I do to be happy? You don\'t do anything to be happy, silly. It shows how bad your theological education has been that you think you\'ve got to do something to be happy.
You don\'t have to do anything to be happy. You can\'t acquire happiness. You know why? Because you have it. You\'ve got it right now. You\'ve got it.
But you\'re the whole time blocking it in your stupidity. You\'re blocking it. Stop blocking it.
You\'ll have it. If I could show you how to get rid of your conflicts, your anxieties, your tensions, your pressures, your emptiness, your loneliness, your despair, your depression, your heartache, you get rid of all of that, what are you left with? Sheer undiluted happiness.
That\'s what you have. The Chinese put it beautifully. When the eye is unobstructed, they say, the result is sight.
Don\'t do anything to get sight. When the eye is unobstructed, the result is sight. When the ear is unobstructed, the result is hearing.
When the mouth is unobstructed, the result is taste. I will add later, when the mind is unobstructed, the result is truth. And when the heart is unobstructed, the result is joy and love.
You\'ve got it all, but it\'s obstructed. Drop it. The second major step, you don\'t want to get out of it.
You want comfort. You want your little possessions. You want the little things that society has taught you are essential for happiness.
Falsely. You want that. You don\'t want to get out of the mess.
Those are the things that are creating the mess. Look, I\'ve been talking too much. I\'ve been talking for 45 minutes.
I ought to give you a bit of a break. Let me do this. Let me give you something to talk about for two or three minutes.
You can even stand up while you\'re talking about it. See, I don\'t want you to be sitting there so long. Stand up and stretch and talk about it, and then maybe you want to ask me a few questions.

 Later, I\'ll give you a somewhat longer break to draw up more formal questions. You get what I\'m saying? More formal questions.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Rediscovery of Life Part 002
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 3:53)
And then we\'ll take in questions from outside too, but we\'ll do that a bit later, maybe 15 minutes hence. Why don\'t you stand up for a couple of minutes and think of this. I\'m going to give you something to talk about and to think of.
It\'s this. Has it ever occurred to you that what you call your happiness is really your chain? Has it ever occurred to you that what you call your happiness?
Just think. What do you call your happiness? You\'re calling somebody your happiness?
You are my joy. Your marriage, your business, your degree, whatever. Where do you find your happiness?
In whom do you find your happiness? Your prison. Oh, this is hard language and who can listen to these words?
But reflect on it. Cut, scrape, melt. Maybe I could get a little reaction from you.
Then I go right on with the presentation, kind of, you know, relentlessly on. And then we\'ll have a longer break. Take a couple of minutes.
Stand up, stretch, kind of thing, you know. Relax. Let\'s pick up the thread again. Your life is in a mess. Don\'t want to get out of it. There was another thing.
It\'s in a mess because you\'ve got wrong ideas. Not because there\'s anything wrong with you. You\'re okay.
And I\'m okay. You\'re okay. We\'re all okay.
We\'re great. There\'s nothing wrong with us. They put wrong ideas into our head.
Somebody did. We didn\'t spend too much time trying to catch the culprit. But anyway, the fact is you got wrong ideas.
You know, it\'s like somebody gives you a stereo set and you get a manual of instructions that comes along with it. Well, they didn\'t give us a manual of instructions when they gave us the gift of life. Or let\'s put it the other way.
They gave us the manual of instructions. It was all wrong. So you\'re not getting music. You\'re getting scratchy sounds. You\'re getting upset. You\'re getting conflicts.
You\'re getting loneliness. You\'re getting emptiness. Oh, it was right there in the Bible,

 but very few people read it really.
They think they do, but they missed the point. I missed the point. Maybe I\'m an unusually big idiot, but I discovered lots of company after a while.
I mean, they missed the point too. They didn\'t get it. All right, so what is the point?
Now, there are many ways of putting the formula. I\'m going to give you the simplest I found. I\'m going to give it to you in the words of old Buddha.
Why did I choose him? Because his is the simplest of all, but you find it everywhere. It\'s the simplest of all, enunciated with limpid clarity.
You\'re probably going to disagree with it, but you can\'t miss the point. Here it is. The world is full of sorrow.
The root of sorrow is desire. The uprooting of sorrow is desirelessness. Oh, I\'m looking at your faces.
It\'s wonderful you\'re thinking. That\'s great. That\'s great. And you\'re thinking wrong. That\'s awful.
[Speaker 2] (3:54 - 3:55)
Isn\'t it wonderful?
[Speaker 1] (3:56 - 20:00)
Because I know how I used to react to this. The world is full of sorrow. Great.
Right. Agreed. The root of sorrow is desire.
Well, all right. Now, what are you going to conclude? The uprooting of sorrow is desirelessness.
So, I\'m going to be a vegetable? I mean, how do we live without desires? Ah, you got it.
See, I was on. I got it. I got it.
Let\'s give you a better translation. I mean, I don\'t think Buddha would be so foolish and stupid as to say we ought to have no desires for heaven\'s sake. I wouldn\'t be here if I didn\'t have the desire to come here, right?
I wouldn\'t be speaking if I didn\'t have the desire to speak. You wouldn\'t be here if you didn\'t have the desire to come and hear me. So, let\'s give it a better translation.
The world is full of sorrow. The root of sorrow is attachment. The uprooting of sorrow

 means the uprooting, the dropping of attachments.
You know, there are desires on whose fulfillment my happiness does not depend. You got lots of desires on whose fulfillment your happiness does not depend. Or else, you\'d be climbing walls.
You\'d be nervous wrecks. We, all of us, have two types of desires. We got desires.
You know, we desire all kinds of things. And gee, we\'re happy to get them. And we don\'t get them.
Okay, too bad. We\'re not unhappy. But we\'ve got other desires.
Good Lord, if we don\'t get that, we\'re going to be miserable. That\'s what he calls an attachment. Where do you think all conflicts come from?
Attachments. Where do you think greed comes from? Attachments.
Where do you think loneliness comes from? Attachments. Where do you think emptiness comes from?
You got it. Same cause. Where do you think fears come from?
My, how clever you\'re becoming. Attachments. No attachment, no fear.
Ever thought of that? No attachment, no fear. We\'re going to take your life.
Go right ahead. No attachment, your life. Happy to live.
Happy to let go. You think that\'s possible? You know something?
People have attained it. So it is possible. Want to attain it yourself?
Attachment. Sorry, sir, you have AIDS. You only have six months to live.
Just six months? Boy, that\'s a lot of time to live. That\'s wonderful.
Happiness. Hey, this guy got no attachment. You walk into a restaurant.
I think we\'ll have soup tonight. What kind of soup do you have? You have tomato soup?
No, sorry, sir, no tomato soup. No tomato soup, for heaven\'s sake. I mean, what kind of a restaurant is this?
Come on, folks, we\'re going somewhere else. See, if I don\'t get tomato soup, I can\'t have dinner. Attachment.
What kind of soup do you have? Tomato soup? No tomato soup.

 Well, what do you have? Oh, we got sweet corn. We got mushroom soup. We got chicken broth. We got pretty good. I like all of those.
How about mushroom? Let me slip in another little secret. I\'m going to cheat on old Buddha right now and slip another little one in while we\'re on this point.
You know, when you enjoy the scent of a thousand flowers, you\'re not going to feel too bad about the absence of one. Nobody ever told you that in your culture, did they? They didn\'t tell me.
When you enjoy the taste of a thousand dishes, you\'re not going to feel too bad about the absence of one. You recollect being educated to enjoy a thousand dishes so that nothing upsets you. See, we missed that.
We got this. What do you know? Oh, no, no, no.
You got to get this. That\'s what your culture and mine is training us for. We got the wrong instructions.
They don\'t give a damn whether you and I are happy or not. They want us to achieve. They want us to produce.
That\'s what they want, even if we\'re going to be miserable slaves and unhappy. So, so big deal. You lost a friend.
You got one million friends. No, not that kind. I want one personal, unique, unsubstitutable friend.
So if he rejects me, then I\'m miserable for the rest of my life. Good luck. Bye.
Not teaching this pig to sing. Too dangerous. But that\'s the way we\'ve been brought up.
That\'s the way it has been for for thousands of years. You got to have desires on whose fulfillment your happiness depends. Very good for so-called progress, of course, because you throw all you have into the enterprise.
So-called progress. I call it so-called because that\'s not progress to me. That isn\'t progress.
You mean isn\'t it progress when we have jumbo jets and spaceships? Very clever. I\'ll tell you what is progress.
Heart progress. Love progress. Happiness progress.
You got that? Oh, sorry, we don\'t have that. You can keep the rest.

 What\'s the use of it? Tell me, what\'s the use of moving around in aeroplanes with a heart that is full of misery and emptiness? Tell me.
I\'d rather live on the ground in a jungle and be blissfully happy and dancing all day. Wouldn\'t you? Maybe you wouldn\'t.
I don\'t know. You see, you\'re really confronted with a choice of life or death. And what people call life is frequently death.
And they don\'t know it. And you mean to tell me that if you\'ve got attachments, you can love? The biggest enemy to love, attachment.
Desire in the sense of attachment. You know why? Because if I desire you, I want to possess you.
I can\'t leave you free. I got to get you. I got to manipulate you so that I can get you.
If I desire you in this way, I\'m going to manipulate myself so that I can hoodwink you into getting you. You following what I\'m saying? Clear enough?
Oh, you\'re on. All right, wonderful. So, then I got fears.
You call this love? You call this love? I mean, you\'re lacking intelligence.
Love, for heaven\'s sake. I\'m not leaving you free. I\'m not leaving me free.
I\'m manipulating you. I\'m manipulating myself. I\'m trying every means to get you.
And this fear. And so it is said so beautifully, perfect love casts out fear. No fear in perfect love.
You know why? Because there\'s no desire. Now, ask your culture.
I\'ve asked mine. Ask your culture if it can make any sense out of this statement. Where there is love, there is no desire.
Desire in the sense of attachment, okay? Okay, attachment. You know what they tell you?
But attachment is love. That\'s how stupid they are. Then you expect to find life.
You can only find death and misery. You say, how could you love if you don\'t feel attachment? Later, I\'ll keep this for the end of the day.
I\'ll talk explicitly about love. Such a simple, such a sublime, such an extraordinary thing. And I really run into anyone, believe me.
I\'m serious. I mean every word I\'m saying. I run into all kinds of people.

 I run into people of all kinds of religions. And I run into Catholics and non-religious people. You know, people who are atheists or whatever.
And I run into Catholics or lay people and priests and sisters and bishops. And I rarely run into someone who knows what love is. They got the wrong instructions.
So when I tell them, hey, how could love be attachment? They\'re arguing about it. And then of course, after five minutes, they say, you\'re right.
You mean, you\'ve lived 55 years, you\'ve written books in theology, and you haven\'t seen this? He says, no. Well, I\'ll give you some comfort.
I lived about as much as you did, and I hadn\'t seen it either. If that\'s any comfort to you. But it\'s so obvious.
Attachment meaning, without you, I will not be happy. Got to get you. Attachment means, I got to get you.
If I don\'t get you, I won\'t be happy. I cannot be happy without you. There you\'ve got the formula for divorce.
There you\'ve got the formula for quarrels. There you\'ve got the formula for friendships falling apart. I cannot be happy without you.
I need you for my happiness. By then, I\'ll do everything to manipulate you to get you. Love means, I\'m perfectly happy without you, darling.
It\'s all right. And I wish you all good. And I leave you free.
And when I get you, I\'m delighted. And when I don\'t, I\'m not miserable. What do you know?
I have learned to be self-sufficient. I\'m standing up on my own two feet, not leaning on you. And you know, if I get money, that\'s wonderful.
And if I don\'t get money, I\'m not depressed. I\'m happy. And you know something else? When you go away, I don\'t... Maybe it\'s too soon to say that here. But anyway, I\'ll risk it. I don\'t miss you. I don\'t feel pain. Where there is sorrow, there is no love.
Tell me, when you grieve, whom are you grieving for? Whose loss? Self-pity?
Oh, don\'t call it that. You\'re telling the truth now. Here\'s the formula.
If you were not actively engaged in making yourself miserable, you would be happy. We were born happy. All life is shot through with happiness.

 Oh, there\'s pain. Of course, there\'s pain. Who told you you can\'t be happy without pain?
Come and meet a friend of mine who\'s dying of cancer, and she\'s happy in pain. So, we were born happy. We lost it.
We were born with the gift of life. We lost it. We got to rediscover it.
Why did we lose it? Because we were working actively. They taught us to work actively to make ourselves miserable.
How did they do that? By teaching us to become attached. By teaching us to have desires so intense that we would refuse to be happy unless they were fulfilled.
The tragedy is, my dears, the tragedy is, that all you need to do is to sit down for two minutes and just watch how untrue it is that you would be unhappy without A or B or X or Y or whatever. Do you know something? You won\'t sit, because if you sit, you might see it.
You won\'t sit and look at it. I know I wouldn\'t. I resisted it for years.
You mean if I don\'t get Mary Jane or I don\'t get John, I won\'t be happy? Hey, wait a minute. That\'s false.
Before I met him, I was happy. You know something? I once fell in love with somebody, and then, well, I lost her, and I was heartbroken.
What happened? I\'m all right now. So, she wasn\'t my happiness after all.
Remember the time when you were a child and you lost something and you thought, I\'ll never be happy without this. What happened? If we gave it to you today, you wouldn\'t look at it.
Why don\'t we learn? Oh, no, no. We got to live in illusions.
It feels good. It gives you a kick, doesn\'t it? It gives me a kick.
We want kicks. We don\'t want happiness. We want thrills.
And whenever you got a thrill, you got an anxiety because you might lose it or you may not get it. And you got a depression following. You got a hangover.
It\'s so simple as I told you. I could put it down for you in two minutes. Whether you hear it is another question.
That depends on your own heart. So, here it is. The world is full of sorrow.
The root of sorrow is attachment desire. The uprooting of sorrow is the dropping of

 attachment. How does one drop it?
One only looks and sees that it is based on a false belief. The belief that without this, I cannot be happy. That\'s false.
The moment you see it\'s false, you\'re free. Good luck to you. May take you one minute. May take you 25 years. But the day you see it, you\'re free. You\'re free as a bird.
You know, you\'ll be coming up to give satellite retreats. You\'ll be talking to presidents. You\'ll be meeting popes.
You\'ll be one big face. You\'re free. You\'re free.
You\'re completely free. You\'ll be making an ass of yourself. You won\'t bother. You won\'t bother to impress.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Rediscovery of Life Part 003
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 0:50)
You know what that means? That you\'re not bothered to impress anybody? You know what it means?
That you don\'t give a, is damn a swear word in the United States? Maybe I shouldn\'t be using it. You don\'t give a tinker\'s damn what they think about you and what they say about you.
You know what that means? Oh boy, that\'s freedom. You\'re not bothered about whether they approve of you or they don\'t.
It\'s all right, you\'re happy. You don\'t approve, all right, too bad, that one failed. We move on, I\'m happy.
But that\'s because you\'ve discovered that your happiness does not lie in these things. You\'ve got to see that for yourself. Useless reading a book, useless listening to me.
You\'ve got to see it. And of course, you won\'t see it if you\'ve got the wrong formula. I\'ll deal with the questions right now, okay?
[Speaker 6] (0:50 - 0:58)
Yes, this is Valerie Wolf. Does the dropping of attachments translate into detachment from the material world?
[Speaker 1] (0:59 - 1:02)
Good, all right, and what\'s the second one? Second one.
[Speaker 6] (1:02 - 1:09)
The second one is, we\'ve been taught to identify with the sufferings of Christ. Can we do that if we\'re always happy?
[Speaker 1] (1:09 - 4:33)
Oh, great questions. All right, now, would you give me your name again, please? Yes, this is Valerie Wolf.
Valerie, well, thank you very much, Valerie. Thanks for calling. I\'ll deal with the questions right now, okay?
Yes, sir. Okay, great. All right, here goes then.

 Does this mean dropping of attachments? Does it mean detachment from the material world? No, no.
One uses the material world, one enjoys the material world, but one doesn\'t make one\'s happiness depend on the material world. Is that clear enough? Like, look, what I\'m saying is, you really begin to enjoy things when you\'re unattached, because attachment brings anxiety.
If you\'re anxious when you\'re holding on to something, you could hardly enjoy it. So, what I\'m offering you is not a withdrawal from enjoyment. It\'s a withdrawal from possessiveness, from anxiety, from tension, from depression at loss of something.
So, I trust that would be clear enough. The second question was a pretty good one, too. We\'re taught to identify with the sufferings of Christ.
How would this link in with what I was saying about happiness? All right, let me clarify this a bit further. Maybe the best way to do it would be by means of a story.
There was a great Zen master, they say, who was reported to have attained enlightenment. And one day his disciples said to him, Master, what did you get from enlightenment? And he said, Well, I\'ll tell you this.
Before I was enlightened, I used to be depressed. After I got enlightened, I continued to be depressed. You seem puzzled, huh?
You see, the depression hasn\'t changed. His attitude to the depression has changed. He\'s not saying, I\'m not going to be happy until this depression goes away.
Because strange as it may seem, you know, you could even be serene and calm and happy while the depression is going on. You\'re not fighting it, you\'re not upset about it, you\'re not irritated about it, you\'re not trying to... No, you\'re serene.
That\'s the difference. So can one go through physical hardships and even emotional sufferings and not be upset about them? That\'s the key word.
That\'s the operative word. Oh, to find the secret for this. All right, we have another couple of calls.
Let\'s try one or two more of those. Okay, you\'re on the air. Let\'s have your name and would you identify the location you\'re in?
[Speaker 3] (4:33 - 4:37)
This is Patrick Mahon at St. Joseph\'s Hospital in Atlanta, Georgia. [Speaker 1] (4:38 - 4:42)

 Great, Patrick. Thanks for calling. Let\'s have the question.
[Speaker 3] (4:43 - 4:49)
If happiness is not attachment, how do you define it in positive terms?
[Speaker 1] (4:50 - 6:35)
Wonderful. All right, did you hear that? If happiness is not attachment, how would you define it in positive terms?
Thanks, Patrick. I hope to deal with that right now. My, he really has me on that one, as Patrick does.
You know something? Happiness cannot be defined, at least I haven\'t found one. I haven\'t found a definition.
As a matter of fact, you have no idea of what happiness is till you\'ve dropped attachment. So it could only be defined as the dropping of illusion, the dropping of attachment. When misery caused by attachment is dropped, happiness is attained.
Of course, one could use words like peace, serenity, being above it all, enjoying every moment as it occurs, living in the present. They\'re words. These are words.
You don\'t know what sight is till the eye is unobstructed. You don\'t know what happiness is until attachment desires are dropped. Then you know.
And the words don\'t matter anymore. Well, I trust that\'s good enough, Patrick. Let\'s take one more and then we\'ll take someone in the group here.
Yes. Would you identify yourself, please, and your location? [Speaker 3] (6:38 - 6:42)
This is Rich Redman at Georgetown University.
[Speaker 1] (6:42 - 6:44)
Yes, Rich.
[Speaker 3] (6:44 - 7:06)
The question is, if Christ is a model for us of detachment and of happiness, how do we identify with his loneliness in the garden and his anger in the temple and being forsaken on the cross?
[Speaker 1] (7:07 - 11:01)

 Great. All right. Thank you.
Thanks, Rich. Did you get that? All right.
You know, Christ himself went through periods, it would seem, of loneliness, very well identified by Rich here, of anger, of abandonment on the cross, etc. Are these states compatible with happiness? What do you think?
Is it possible that either because of one\'s programming, because of one\'s culture, or simply because of one\'s human psyche and body, one would go through all kinds of sufferings and yet somehow be above it all? What do you think? Yes, no, what?
Yes, yes. Before enlightenment, I used to be lonely. After enlightenment, I\'m still lonely, but loneliness isn\'t what it used to be anymore.
You know, I think, in the session we have after lunch, I\'ll talk more explicitly about these phenomena, loneliness, emptiness. Where do they come from? What causes them?
Is it possible that they would disappear completely? I think so. You know, we Christians continually teach that Jesus was a man.
He was a human being like everyone else, and like every human being was subjected to all of these things. Does one eventually gradually outgrow them? Some of us do, others don\'t.
Jesus could outgrow them, may not have outgrown them. One knows so little about this, but this much is clear, that one does have a state of serenity, of happiness, even when these clouds pass by. Let me give you an example to show you what I\'m talking about.
You see, you\'ve got the clouds and you\'ve got the sky. And many of the Oriental masters will be saying, before this state of what they call enlightenment, or what I\'m inviting you to do, to see, before they saw, they would identify themselves with the clouds, and they\'d be all caught up in that. After enlightenment, they identify themselves with the sky.
Oops, there comes a cloud, black cloud, it comes and goes. I\'ll show you how this is done this afternoon. Again, it\'s so simple, it seems incredible.
And after a while you say, hey, about six months since a black cloud came, but you know, I\'m not going to make my happiness depend on their coming or not coming. Get what I\'m saying? All right, great.
Or else what\'s going to happen now is, you\'re going to be tense about not being depressed. Oh gosh, another cause for it. You\'re going to get attached to this imaginary state that you call happiness.

 So what we have to do is watch for those attachments, understand them, see that they are based on a false belief, and they will drop, then you\'ll know what I\'m talking about. How about having a question from here, then we go back to calls that are coming from outside. Anyone have a question here?
Would you stand up please and wait till Chris comes along with the mic? That would be great. Give us your name.
[Speaker 4] (11:02 - 11:33)
Hello Father, I\'m Peter Shea from Fordham University. Father, you\'ve been saying a lot about being able to experience suffering and depression and yet still be detached from it. I\'m trying to understand clearly what you\'re saying, but it seems such a contradiction.
You said that you can be happy and depressed, since depression, as I\'ve always been taught, is the absence of contentment and happiness. I\'m still a little unsure about that.
[Speaker 1] (11:33 - 14:18)
That\'s a good question, Peter. I\'m glad you\'re pressing it, because it\'ll help me to make this a bit clearer. See, aren\'t depression and happiness two contradictory states?
I think this is what you\'re saying, right? Yes and no. If for you happiness means thrills, fun, pleasure, yes, they are contradictory.
But thrills, fun, pleasure are not happiness. What are they? They\'re thrills, they\'re fun, they\'re pleasure, they\'re not happiness.
Happiness is a state of non-attachment. You know, for many years I didn\'t even think such a thing existed. For me, to be happy meant to have fun, to be happy meant to win, to get what you wanted.
This is what people ordinarily understand by happiness. Most cultures understand happiness to mean you get what you want, so you\'re happy. You know the way it is?
Yay, I got what I want and I\'m happy. But that isn\'t happiness. That\'s a thrill.
That\'s getting what you want. Depression is frequently, not always, not getting what you want. It\'s the opposite of the thrill.
You go in for thrills, you\'re going to be depressed. It\'s the other side of the pendulum, or you\'re going to have to do a lot of thinking on that. It\'s the thrills that cause the depression.
Of course, depressions have physical causes too. So you see, I\'m not talking about happiness meaning thrills, fun, pleasure. I\'m talking of happiness meaning one is above

 it all.
One is serene. One is not attached to its coming and going. There\'s one more thing I\'ll add.
The more you fight depression, the worse it gets. Don\'t resist evil when they strike you on one cheek, turn it off on the other. When you take away one devil, seven more come.
How does one deal with these things by not fighting them? Because the more you fight them, the more you empower them. Quite a number of calls.
Let\'s take a couple more. Yes, you\'re on the line. Let\'s have your name and the location and your question.
Hello?
[Speaker 2] (14:20 - 14:21)
Good morning, Anthony.
[Speaker 1] (14:22 - 14:22)
Good morning.
[Speaker 2] (14:23 - 14:26)
This is Susan Spadinger from Buffalo State College in Buffalo, New York. [Speaker 1] (14:27 - 14:28)
Buffalo. Yes, Susan.
[Speaker 2] (14:28 - 14:32)
And the nature of my question is quite different from the previous one. [Speaker 1] (14:32 - 14:33)
Okay.
[Speaker 2] (14:33 - 15:23)
Well, I have two assumptions, and then I\'d like you to apply one of your earlier statements. Assuming that I am attached to my experience as a Catholic United States woman religious and that I have been educated in the post-Vatican true time, and secondly, assuming that I am also tempered by my experience of the total change and transition that that has meant in the last 20 years, I\'d like you to apply your beginning metaphor of the monks and scholars being challenged to analyze words like goldsmiths

 analyze gold, cutting and scraping and rubbing and melting. I\'d like you to apply that metaphor if possible to the current situation in the United States church.
[Speaker 1] (15:24 - 18:34)
I can see where you\'re getting me, Susan. I\'m not biting, but thanks. Thanks. That\'s wonderful. And I\'ll deal with that. Okay, Susan.
Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you very much.
You see where she\'s taking me, too, also, have you? Well, well, well. Okay.
Look, I think, and let me say this quite unambiguously, I think that the Church of the United States in quite a number of areas is at the cutting edge today. It\'s offering leadership to the rest of the world and particularly in the matter of women\'s rights. And I think centuries hence, the church is going to be grateful for this.
And of course, you\'re running into your difficulties every time change is in the offing. You\'re going to run into conflict. You\'re going to run into difficulties because people hate change.
They don\'t want change. They want progress without change. All right.
So you\'re naturally going through your birth pangs and your teething difficulties in the church, etc. But let me add this. You know, there\'s a lovely sentence in the Hindu scriptures, the Bhagavad Gita, where the Lord Krishna says to Arjuna, to the kind of the main character in the book, as some of you may probably know, the setting, the scene is set on a battlefield.
And this young prince is saying, why do I have to get into battle? And the Lord says to him very beautifully. He says, plunge into the heart of battle.
Plunge into the din of battle and keep your heart at the lotus feet of the Lord. That\'s the formula. Plunge into the din of battle and keep your heart at the lotus feet of the Lord, at peace.
Is it possible to get into the din of battle, to fight the good fight and be at peace? Of course it is. Of course it is.
All the great mystics attained that. Because if you\'re not at peace, believe me, you\'re going to do much more damage than good. All the damage you\'re going to do.
You know why? Because it isn\'t the Lord\'s battle you\'re fighting. It\'s the ego\'s battle.
And the sign that you will know that it isn\'t the ego, the cause is a very just one. But when your ego gets messed up in it, oh gee. So there it is.

 You could get right into the battle. I\'ll have more to say about this in the next session. You get right into remedy situations but your heart is at peace.
And nothing\'s going to destroy your happiness. Wouldn\'t it be awful if you fought the good fight and you lost your happiness as a result? You don\'t have to do that.
One more. Yes, you\'re on the line. [Speaker 5] (18:35 - 18:37)
Hi, my name\'s Michelle Kiernan. [Speaker 1] (18:37 - 18:38) Michelle, all right.
[Speaker 5] (18:38 - 18:40)
I\'m from the University of Dayton.
[Speaker 1] (18:41 - 18:43)
Marvelous. Go right ahead, Michelle. We\'re listening.
[Speaker 5] (18:43 - 18:50)
Okay. You said when you talked of true freedom, you said not to bother whether someone approves or disapproves.
[Speaker 1] (18:50 - 18:56)
If they don\'t approve, you say, My, that\'s tremendous. Go right ahead. Okay.
[Speaker 5] (19:04 - 19:09)
Oh, that\'s marvelous.
[Speaker 1] (19:10 - 20:00)
Yes, all right, Michelle. Thank you. Thank you.
Well, maybe I didn\'t make myself clear enough, see. I\'m not saying we don\'t care about other people. We care very much.
We\'re very sensitive to them. But we\'re not controlled by their approval or disapproval. See, I\'m glad she brings this up, so it gives me a chance to make it clearer.
So you\'re very sensitive to people, but you\'re giving them what you think is good for them, but you\'re not being controlled by them. Do you follow what I\'m saying? In other

 words, I\'m not going to desist from what I think is good just because you disapprove, and I\'m not going to do what I think is bad because I think you approve.
So I\'m not being controlled by you. Only there is true love. Good.
Let\'s get another one. Isn\'t it marvelous? We can get these people from all over the states.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Rediscovery of Life Part 004
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 0:05)
This is great. Yes, you\'re on the line. You\'re on the air.
[Speaker 6] (0:06 - 0:07)
Is there some other way we can get in contact?
[Speaker 1] (0:08 - 0:12)
You\'re on the air right now. Oh, hello, Tony. Yes, yes, this is Tony.
[Speaker 6] (0:15 - 0:19)
Good. Hey, I\'m calling from Marine Community College here in Murray, Ohio.
[Speaker 1] (0:20 - 0:21)
What\'s your name?
[Speaker 6] (0:21 - 0:26)
I wanted to know why does religion seem to so often always get in the way of happiness for people?
[Speaker 1] (0:27 - 0:29)
Why? Would you say that again please?
[Speaker 6] (0:29 - 0:34)
Why does religion, like organized religion, seem to always get in the way of happiness?
[Speaker 1] (0:35 - 0:40)
Why does it always seem to get in the way of happiness? Well, all right. Would you give me your name please?
[Speaker 6] (0:40 - 0:44)
Truth on occasion. You know, it\'s lost its mystical quality.
[Speaker 1] (0:45 - 3:14)
Yes, it\'s lost its mystical. All right. Thank you.
Thank you. Well, I wouldn\'t say religion always gets in the way of people. No, no, no.

 It\'s always in danger of losing its mystical quality. How true, how true, how true. You want to see politics?
You find it in religion. You want to see dirty infighting? You find it in religion.
You want to see crucifixions of Messiah? Where do you think you get it from? Religion.
So, it\'s like, you know, it\'s a sad irony and it\'s right there in the New Testament. The horror of the New Testament is that it was reserved to the religious people to crucify the Messiah. Not the Romans, not the colonialists, not the multinationals, not the imperialists, not the bloodsuckers, the moneylenders, but the religious people.
That\'s the horror of the New Testament. So, it is true that religion is always in danger of doing this. But religion also preserves the mystical element.
I think we\'d be too one-sided if we denied that. You know, heavens, would I have seen what I have seen these years, these last few years, if I had not been a Jesuit? And oh yes, you know, the organization has lots of disadvantages, tremendous disadvantages.
I can see that. It has all of its handicaps. I sometimes think it\'s something like our mother, see.
Mother has her good points and her bad points. And she\'s mother. We love her with it all, kind of, see.
And sometimes we don\'t take too much notice of what she\'s saying. She belongs to another age, okay. And sometimes we take some of her great wisdom and we learn to kind of assess what\'s good and bad.
And we love her just the way she is. So I can see how religion, while having all of its drawbacks, its tremendous drawbacks, we always have to be on the alert, we religious people, to see that it doesn\'t come in the way of truth and of the mystical. It also, thank God, still keeps some of its beauty and some of its original goodness.
Let\'s have one more and then we\'ll come to the hall here. All right, you\'re on the line. [Speaker 4] (3:15 - 3:16)
Good morning, Fr.
[Speaker 1] (3:16 - 3:16)
John. Good morning.
[Speaker 4] (3:16 - 3:25)
My name is Maureen Nicaritando and I\'m calling from the Diocese of Fresno, St. Paul

 Women\'s Center and the Office of Youth Ministries. We have two questions for you today. [Speaker 1] (3:25 - 3:26)
Okay, Maureen.
[Speaker 4] (3:26 - 3:42)
Okay. Does no attachment mean that we should not participate in the very human creative endeavors of sleeping and dreaming? That\'s the first question.
And secondly, how do you suggest that we deal with feelings of loss and grief and the other things that are part of our human experience?
[Speaker 1] (3:43 - 7:30)
My, great question, Maureen. Thank you. Okay.
Thank you. All right. Does it mean we withdraw from the human endeavor, having no attachment?
No, no, no. You plunge into the dinner battle and you know you have so much more energy, believe me, when you have no attachments. You\'ve got all of your energy available to you.
The great Chinese sage, Chuang Tzu, how marvelously he puts it. I remember learning this by heart. Let\'s see if it comes off.
If it doesn\'t come off, we won\'t feel bad, will we? Well, let\'s get started. All right.
He says, when the archer shoots for nothing, he has all his skill. When he shoots for a brass buckle, he is already nervous. When he shoots for a prize of gold, he goes blind.
He\'s out of his mind. He sees two targets. His skill has not changed.
But the prize divides him. He cares. He thinks more of winning than of shooting.
And the need to win drains him of power. Isn\'t that sublime? The need to win drains him of power.
If he didn\'t need to win, he\'d have so much more energy. So, no one joins in the human enterprise of human dreams and visions and goals so marvelously and so creatively as the person who\'s unattached. You know, unfortunately, we\'ve come to associate unattachment with not caring, with not enjoying, with asceticism.
No, I\'m not talking about that at all. Well, you\'ll see this as we go on, I guess, along the day. And that second, that\'s a bit more of a touchy question, the one of grief.

 Well, shall I tell the truth or shall I soften it? What do you think? You better decide that. Soften it? All right. All right.
We\'ll say it like it is. I wouldn\'t grieve if I wasn\'t attached. I wouldn\'t grieve if it were not for my loss.
I wouldn\'t grieve if in some way you were not my happiness. But when I enjoy you wholly, I love you in the sense of I\'m sensitive, I care, it is your good I see, and I leave you free. And you are not my happiness.
I have not given over to you the power to decide whether I will be happy or not. Then I do not grieve at your absence or at your rejecting, at your rejection, or at your death. That\'s hard.
You may need many months to digest that one. But until you arrive at this state, all right, grief is wonderful. One drains it out of one\'s system gradually, and then one comes back to life again.
They tell me there\'s a call from Canada. How about taking that one? Would that be all right?
Okay, let\'s give Canada a chance. Okay, Canada, you\'re on the air. That\'s wonderful. [Speaker 2] (7:31 - 7:33)
My name is Charles McDonald.
[Speaker 1] (7:33 - 7:35)
Charles, all right, Charles.
[Speaker 2] (7:35 - 7:37)
Charles calling from the University College of Cape Breton. [Speaker 1] (7:38 - 7:38)
Uh-huh.
[Speaker 2] (7:39 - 7:40)
Sydney, Nova Scotia, Canada.
[Speaker 1] (7:40 - 7:41)
Wonderful.

 [Speaker 2] (7:41 - 7:48)
Well, I liked very much your comments about lost opportunities and those images you brought there, eh? Stories about the fishermen.
[Speaker 1] (7:48 - 7:49)
That\'s right.
[Speaker 2] (7:49 - 8:01)
Beautiful story. Now, I think that a lot of people believe that the world is in a mess, but they don\'t think that their own lives are in a mess. How true.
And the way we want to solve the world\'s mess is through commitment to causes. [Speaker 1] (8:02 - 8:02)
How true.
[Speaker 2] (8:02 - 8:10)
I\'m wondering, how do you distinguish between commitment and attachment, or commitment and detachment?
[Speaker 1] (8:11 - 9:30)
Okay, okay, thank you very much. Thank you very much. There are two things there.
First, the world\'s in a mess. I\'m in a mess. You know, don\'t hide behind a peace committee.
It solves nothing. You know, when a bunch of wolves sit in on a peace committee, you\'re not going to get peace. When a thousand wolves organize for justice, you\'re not going to get justice.
You\'ve got to deal with the wolves. So he\'s so right in saying we\'ve got to take a look at ourselves too. But then the other thing, how does one, well, commit oneself to a cause?
Well, that\'s fine. Commit yourself wholeheartedly into the dinner battle, but you\'re above it. As somebody said so beautifully once, for peace of heart, resign as general manager of the universe.
Like I\'m not the general manager. I do what I can. I plunge in, and the result is left to God, to life, to destiny.
Let\'s take a couple of calls from here, and then we\'ll end the session. Anybody have a call here? All right.

 Would you wait till the...
[Speaker 5] (9:32 - 9:54)
All right. How are you doing? I\'m Paul Provosto from the Maryknoll School of Theology.
Yes, Paul. And I\'d like to ask this. Before you said we have to watch out for attachments so that we can become unattached.
Wouldn\'t that result in anxieties of constantly worrying about what you\'re attached to? Yes. How do you break this vicious cycle?
[Speaker 1] (9:55 - 11:43)
Okay. All right. No, I wouldn\'t say watch out, Paul.
I\'d say watch them, look at them, understand them, study them. Like, how does one detect an attachment? The moment there\'s upset, there\'s an attachment lurking under it.
Now, you\'d say, upset, huh? Because you\'re not getting what you want. Or you\'re getting what you don\'t want.
That\'s right. Or you\'re about to lose what you want. That\'s right.
Which means you\'re refusing to be happy unless you get what you want. Yeah. Hey, wait a minute.
You mean if I don\'t get this, I\'m not going to be happy? You mean this is my happiness? You mean a person, a human being cannot be happy without this?
Oh, no, he can. She can. There are human beings who are happy without this.
This might take you anywhere from two seconds to two or three hours to five or six days where you wouldn\'t be thinking about this repeatedly, but your mind is going at it. You know, I\'ll tell you one thing. The moment you dare to expose yourself, even for two seconds, to truth, you\'re finished.
You\'re finished. Because if you glimpse it even once, something in you will be taking you back to it. That\'s why maybe something inside of us fears to look.
If you see, well, it may take a while, but you\'ll be driven back again. And you\'ll be increasingly freed and made happy and liberated. I thought there was another question here.
Yes. Thank you.

 [Speaker 3] (11:45 - 11:48)
My name is Pat Tkachuk, and I\'m from the Graduate School of Religion at Fordham.
[Speaker 1] (11:49 - 11:49)
Yes, Pat.
[Speaker 3] (11:49 - 12:11)
Basically, my question revolves around this. There seems to exist a tension between being aware of a state of detachment. That\'s probably not the right way to put it.
And also that pulling toward what society says you have to do to be successful. And how do you resolve that tension or even that sense of one\'s pride that gets in the way? Great.
[Speaker 1] (12:12 - 19:59) Okay, Pat. Thank you. Thank you.
Do you get the question? It\'s like a pull. On the one hand, happiness, peace, serenity, being self-possession, if you want, being above it.
On the other hand, the drive that society has put into us to be successful. How does one resolve it? Just redefine success.
Redefine it. What is success? Now, that\'s not going to come easy if you\'re too much in the grips of what will they think, what will they say.
What Pat calls pride. I wouldn\'t call it pride. I\'d call it a kind of a total dependence for one\'s worth on others.
If you think I\'m worthwhile, I\'m worthwhile. If you judge me a success, I\'m a success. If you don\'t, I\'m not.
Oh, who will give us the grace to break out of that? When I meet a man or a woman who has broken out of that, I salute. Not the other ones.
The big commanders and the presidents. Very inferior human beings. Not one bit better than the average.
Lustful, greedy, frightened, anxious, ambitious, grasping, controlled like puppets by what people think and what people say. And so captured, so enslaved by the desire for power and this and that. You want me to respect that?
But then I run into a guy like Ramchandra. My, he has my admiration. I run into that kind of person, this AIDS victim in St. Louis. I didn\'t have the privilege of meeting that man,

 but that man has my admiration. See, we\'re admiring the wrong things, the things, Pat. And this goes for most of our religious institutions.
They say you got to make it. And they\'re so honored that an ex-alumnus has become blah blah. Is this what we value?
See, so, or do we value the person who has broken out of the clutches of society? Do we value riches? Like you\'re giving a million dollars, you get the front row.
We value, Christian institution, did you say, Father? So it goes. See, as somebody pointed out, we\'re so much in danger.
We\'re brainwashed. We\'re bombarded constantly by this viewpoint. We\'re indoctrinated.
Now, I\'ll address myself to this question. So that way, it\'s a nice introduction to what I\'ll be saying this afternoon. I\'ll be addressing myself to this question this afternoon, after about an hour, to this stranglehold that society has on us.
Is it possible to break out of that? Okay, here we go again. Ready for more work?
All right. I thought of a couple of stories to tell you on my way here to illustrate a bit what I was trying to communicate this morning. See, then while I was sitting here waiting for us to come on, I thought of a better one.
There\'s a Japanese master, a fellow called Bokoju. See, every time I think of his name, I imagine a plump, rotund kind of a guy, happy-go-lucky soul, Bokoju. It was said of Bokoju that every morning when he woke up, he\'d give a great big belly laugh that resounded through the 250 cells of the monastery.
Everyone could hear him. Everybody woke up with that laughter, like the alarm clocks. Great big belly laugh.
And he\'d go on for about three or four minutes. And the last thing he did at night before he went to bed was again let out a great big belly laugh, and then he\'d curl up on his mat and go to sleep. And the disciples were very curious to know what it was that made the master laugh.
And they tried their level best to get him to tell them. But he wouldn\'t. And he died without telling them.
That\'s the end of the story. So all kinds of people have been trying to figure out what was it that made him laugh. I got a couple of hunches myself.
You know, we have an Indian mystic called Kabir. Kabir has some extraordinary mystical poems. And one of them begins with the line, I laughed when they told me that the fish in the water is thirsty.

 How about that one? I laughed when they told me that the fish in the water is thirsty. You mean, you\'re in the water?
You\'re a fish? You\'re thirsty? Oh, come on.
But we are, aren\'t we? Or another line that I read last summer, somewhere here in the States, of an African hunter, well, an American hunter who would be hunting in Africa. He said he lived with some natives there.
And whenever they were in danger, he said it was quite extraordinary. They\'d look at us white men, says this man, with a strange kind of curiosity when they saw fear in our eyes. It was incomprehensible to them, to this particular group of natives.
It was incomprehensible to them, says this writer. Like looking into the eyes of fishes who were afraid to get drowned. That\'s pretty good too.
Can you imagine a fish scared of drowning? And so again and again, the mystical teachers of the world have been posing this question. They\'re puzzled.
Why are they unhappy? That kind of thing. Why are they scared?
That kind of thing. And of course, till one has seen, it makes sense to feel scared. It makes sense to be unhappy.
You know, when I talk about fear, I\'m not talking about the present response to immediate danger. Not talking about that. That the animals have.
I\'m talking about fear of what\'s going to come. Fear of what\'s going to happen. I\'m talking about that.
And this, the mystics tell us, doesn\'t exist. In their mind, simply doesn\'t exist. Boy, what a state to be in.
Extraordinary.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Rediscovery of Life Part 005
[Speaker 1] (0:03 - 19:59)
Well, here we are with these, you know there\'s another nice story about this, there\'s this camel trader, an Arab, who\'s walking across the Sahara desert, and they pitch a tent for the night, and the slaves, you know, drive pegs into the ground, and tie the camels to the pegs. Then they come in to say to the master, there\'s only, there are only nineteen pegs and we\'ve got twenty camels, how do we tie the twentieth camel? And the master said, these camels are stupid animals, just go through the motions of tying the camel, and he\'ll stay put all night, which is what they did, and the camel stood there, you know, convinced of it.
And next morning, when they lifted tent, and they continued on their journey, the slaves came to complain that all the camels were following except this one, this one refused to budge. And the master said, you forgot to untie him, they said, oh yes, so they went through the motions of untying him. That is an image of the human condition.
We\'re scared about things that are not. We\'re tied to things that don\'t exist, they\'re illusions, they\'re falsehoods, they\'re beliefs, they\'re not realities. The agonies we go through over things that we have, we have convinced ourselves our happiness depends upon, but it doesn\'t, it just doesn\'t.
And we don\'t want to see it. Again, the mystics, I mean, I guess they understand this because they went through this themselves, they\'re in amazement that the human being would deceive himself, people would fool themselves in this way. Now, you know, what I\'m going to offer you today is the beginning.
You don\'t need anyone else to show you the way. If you keep following this, as I said to you in the previous session, you just get a glimpse of this and you keep at it, you\'ll find the way and sooner or later you\'ll discover what this means. You\'re tied to things that don\'t exist, they don\'t exist.
The story of the disciple who goes to the master and the master says, what have you come here for? And the man says, moksha, moksha is the Sanskrit word for freedom, I\'ve come for freedom. Oh, freedom, says the master.
Go and find out who has bound you. So the guy goes back and meditates for a week and comes back and says, no one has bound me. And what do you want freedom for, says the master.
And in that minute, the disciple\'s eyes are opened and he attains freedom, he attains liberation. What have you come here for? Freedom.
Go and find out who has bound you. Well, no one has bound me. And what do you want

 freedom for?
You\'re free already. Why do you seek it? But you don\'t understand it because you\'ve tied yourself with all kinds of imaginary chains.
So this is going to be the theme of the present session. We\'re going to take it a little bit at a time, okay? We take little breaks and stuff so it won\'t be too heavy on you.
Let\'s take it one step at a time. There\'s one of these Beatles, Lennon I think his name is, I read a marvellous sentence of his, marvellous sentence. He says, life is something that happens to us while we\'re engaged in something else.
Oh, beautiful, beautiful. Life is something that happens to us while we\'re busily engaged in something else. Worse, life is something that happens to us while we\'re busy suffering all sorts of other things.
And I have a perfect image for this. You\'ve got a concert hall, there\'s a symphony that\'s going on, the orchestra\'s playing, you\'ve settled down nice and nicely and comfortably in your seat, kind of the dark atmosphere, and you\'re getting ready to hear the music and to enjoy it, and then suddenly you remember that you forgot to lock your car. Oh, gosh, what do you do now?
You can\'t get out, it\'ll be too disturbing, you cannot enjoy the music, and you\'re caught in between. That is the image of life for most people. Constant anxiety.
What do I do now? What\'s going to happen next? How do I cope with this?
How do I deal with that? Ah, you seem to recognise that, yeah, yeah. You mean, is another condition possible?
It is, it is, it is. You know, what are you religious for? What is the use of your religion if it isn\'t giving you this?
You\'ve got the dogmas right, you\'ve got the beliefs right, you\'ve got the ritual right, you\'ve got everything right, but your life is all wrong. What\'s the use of it? You\'ve got the menu, but you\'ve got no food to eat.
What\'s the use of it? You\'ve got all the lord, lord right, but there\'s no life, huh? Why do you call me lord, lord and not do what I\'m telling you?
What\'s the use of it, if you don\'t know how to use it? So here goes, how does one use it? Let\'s begin with, you\'re upset.
Remember we talked about upset this morning? You\'re upset because of your attachments. So let\'s begin concretely.

 If you remember nothing else from today except what I\'m going to say in the next five minutes, that\'ll be worthwhile. You\'re upset. What is it that upset you?
Somebody died, somebody betrayed you, someone rejected you, you lost something, your plans have gone awry, something\'s gone astray, whatever. Can you think right now, even as I\'m talking, of something that has upset you in the recent past? Go on, do it.
I\'m going to give you three or four seconds to do that. Think of something that has upset you in the recent past or is upsetting you right now. Then get your soul ready for a shock, here it comes.
I say it just like it is, I\'m going to lob the bomb right into your midst. Listen to this. Nothing in reality, nothing in life, nothing in the world upsets you.
Nothing has the power to upset you. Did anyone tell you that? All upset exists in you, not in reality.
You could underline the word all, all of it, all of it, all of it. All upset is in you, not in life, not in reality, not in the world, it\'s in you. Just understanding this has changed the lives of people, I mean 180 degrees round.
Just understanding this and no more. Reality is not upsetting. Reality is not problematic.
If there were no human mind, there would be no problems. All problems exist in the human mind. All problems are created by the mind.
Somebody said to me in Denver last summer, wouldn\'t there be some problems that exist in reality and not in me? I said to him, if we take you out of there, where\'s the problem? No problem.
Now to me, this is a truth so simple, a seven-year-old child could understand it. But I\'ve met people who are doctors and all sorts of things, but they never understood it, never understood it. They just took for granted that problems exist in the world.
Problems exist, or by problem I mean something that upsets you, OK? I\'ll repeat that. By problem, I mean something that upsets you.
They think it exists in the world. They think it exists in other people. They think it is in life.
No, no, no. It\'s in them. As simple as that.
Nothing has the power to upset you. Now I\'ll work that out concretely. Somebody broke their promise, OK?
You\'re upset. What do you think upset you? Broken promise?

 Because I could bring another individual here in your place, and she or he is faced with a broken promise and is not upset. How come you got upset? Now you choose to think, you were trained to think, that it was the broken promise that upset you.
It wasn\'t the broken promise. It was your programming. It was your training.
You\'ve been trained to upset yourself every time you\'re faced with a broken promise. You\'re planning a picnic on Sunday, and the picnic gets rained out. Where do you think the upset is?
In the rain or in you? In the rain or in your reaction to the rain? I\'ll repeat that.
The upset feeling is not caused by the rain, but by your reaction to the rain. Someone else would react differently. No upset.
Of course, you can see that I\'m building on this morning\'s statement. If you had not made your happiness depend on it\'s not raining, you wouldn\'t react this way, right? But you\'ve been trained, you and I, have been trained to make our happiness depend on certain things.
And so when those things don\'t happen, thanks to our training, thanks to our programming, thanks to that false belief, if this doesn\'t happen, I\'m not going to be happy, well, what do you know? We upset ourselves. Some very interesting examples of this.
Let me give you examples from other cultures. Last summer, a friend of mine here in New York told me a very interesting, gave me a little anthropological detail of a tribe in Africa. He said, their method of awarding the death penalty is the following.
They don\'t have any electric chair. They don\'t have death by hanging. They have death by banishment.
So you belong to the tribe, and you have committed a capital offense, and you\'re banished. And this friend of mine said when the sentence of banishment is read, within a week or so, the person dies. Would you die if somebody read a sentence of banishment on you?
I wouldn\'t. I don\'t think you would either. Would you?
What do you think? I mean, we might feel it, right? I mean, we\'re banished to another place.
We wouldn\'t die, for heaven\'s sake. They die, literally. There\'s a Jesuit friend of mine in Mexico who told me about a belief among the natives in one part of Mexico that if they touch a certain type of stone, they would die.

 They\'re quite convinced of this. So there was a youngster who was running, it seems, and then his foot touched this kind of cursed stone. And the boy came to father and said he was going to die.
And father said, oh, that\'s superstition. I don\'t believe this. Well, that night, the boy\'s mother came to the priest and said, father, would you please come with the last sacraments?
And father said, look, that\'s superstition. Don\'t you encourage that kid. Or he\'s going to really, you know, it\'s going to be a kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy.
This is rubbish, et cetera, et cetera. So he didn\'t go. Well, the next morning, the kid had died.
He had literally died. He was convinced of it, so he died. One hears of students in certain cultures, in certain communities, in certain countries, who take their examinations so seriously.
I hope you don\'t take those blessed examinations of yours as seriously. Take them so seriously that if they fail, they commit suicide. I know people who fail and say, great, doesn\'t matter at all.
And somebody else, suicide. Why the difference in reaction? Now, let\'s draw the conclusion.
Who killed him? Who killed her? The examination?
The failure? What do you think? Let\'s get some response.
What would you say? Herself, her reaction, right? Her reaction.
You could say about the guy who was banished there from that African tribe. Suppose I said to the judge, the banishment killed him. The banishment did not kill him.
It was his belief, his culture, his indoctrination, his programming that killed him. The kid whose foot touched the stone, did the stone kill him? Oh, no, no.
It was his belief, his programming. You got that much? Now we apply it to our daily life.
And the application is devastating, explosive. You could explode into happiness forever. You really could.
I\'m going to get you to try it and give you a little bit of a break. And I\'ll give you an exercise on this. And some of you are going to experience it right here in this room.
Watch. Something has upset you. Did you hear that expression?

 Something has upset you? That\'s the way the English language is. That\'s the way all languages are.
Something upset me, nothing upsets you. The accurate way to speak would be, I upset myself on the occasion of something. But who speaks like that?
So you upset me? No, no, no. Your behavior occasioned my upsetting myself.
But we hate it, don\'t we? We love to make the world responsible, or people responsible, or life responsible, or God responsible. You did it.
Not the upset. Not the upset. Are you getting some inkling of what it would mean if you really grasped this?
You\'d be above it all. That\'s one nice definition of spirituality. Spirituality means to no longer be at the mercy of any event, or any person, or anything.
Hey, I didn\'t say not to love people. I said you\'re not at their mercy anymore. You\'re no longer at the mercy of any event, or of any person, or of anything.
In other words, no matter what happens, you no longer upset yourself. I was spending years studying spirituality, writing about it, reading books on it, taking courses on it. But hey, I want to see, are you still upset?
Do you still upset yourself on the occasion you do? What\'s the use of all your studies? Life is passing you by while you\'re sitting in that concert hall, unable to enjoy the music, unable to lock the car, caught in between.
All right, now let\'s see if we could work this out concretely. If you could give me two or three examples of upsetting, what we generally call upsetting situations, or upsetting persons. If it were personal to you, that would be even better.
But it doesn\'t have to be personal. It could be something that you\'ve experienced, something that someone else has experienced. What\'s your name?
Kathleen. Kathy? Kathleen?
All right. Go ahead, Kathleen. All right.
If someone died, so here\'s an example, OK? Someone dies, and I\'m upset. What upset me?
The death of this person. No. If I\'m upset by it, I\'ve been programmed to be upset when someone dies.
Now take your time for that. That goes against everything your culture and mine has taught us. We\'ve been taught to upset ourselves when we lose somebody.

 We\'ve been trained to upset ourselves when someone rejects us, disapproves of us, leaves us, dies on us. We\'ve been, here it goes. Get ready for a scandalous sentence.
We\'ve been trained to depend emotionally on people, to not be able to live emotionally without people. I stress emotionally. So well, naturally, I\'m upset because someone I was attached to has died.
The death upset me.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Rediscovery of Life Part 006
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 14:02)
On the occasion of this, I have been trained to upset myself. It sounds almost blasphemous, huh? It\'s awful.
Think it over. Let\'s get a couple of examples more. Yes?
Seeing someone on the street who doesn\'t have enough to eat. All right, excellent. Oh, oh.
Okay, say it again. Seeing someone on the street who doesn\'t have enough to eat. Seeing someone on the street who doesn\'t have enough to eat.
That\'s a great example because it seems like, look, we ought to be upset. Now, let me take that slowly. All right.
I see someone on the street who doesn\'t have enough to eat. Is that an evil? What do you think?
Yes or no? Yes, obviously. Ought I to do something about it in as much as I can? Yes or no? Good, great. So far, you\'re getting all the right answers.
We\'re going to catch you, watch out. Third, do I need to upset myself in order to swing into action and do something about it? Great, my, you\'re getting A\'s everywhere.
You know, there\'s an assumption that if you don\'t upset yourself, if you don\'t train people to upset themselves, they\'re not going to do anything. But look, here\'s someone who doesn\'t have enough to eat and that\'s a calamity. Now you\'ve gone and upset yourself.
We got two calamities. Could we, could we deal with this calamity without having another one added? But you know, lots of people cannot even conceive of their swinging into action without their first upsetting themselves.
It\'s something like this. You\'re standing in a line. Somebody breaks the line. Now look, you want to take action? That\'s fine. You want to say it\'s wrong? You\'re right. You want to do something about it? Do.
You want to push him away? That\'s fine. But you know what you\'re doing?
You\'re saying you misbehaved, so I\'m going to punish myself. Look how logical this is, okay? Because when I, yeah, yeah, yeah.

 Because we say, I say to people, why do you have to get upset? They say, that isn\'t human. It isn\'t human.
Look what you\'re doing. He misbehaved, right? So good.
So what you\'re going to do is raise your blood pressure, lose your peace of mind, miss your sleep tonight. Say, look, since you misbehaved, I\'m going to, why would you punish yourself? You\'re innocent.
But you think people would understand this? I mean, educated people, so-called reasonable people, their culture is built on this. How could you not upset yourself?
You mean you\'re not upset? No. But you\'re planning to do something, evidently. Oh yeah, very much so. But you\'re not upset? No.
Why should I upset myself? Why should I punish myself? Because he misbehaved.
Plunge into the din of battle and keep your heart at peace at the lotus feet of the Lord. Get into the din of battle. But there\'s a fear, see, the people who trained us, the people who programmed us, feared that if we didn\'t upset ourselves, we wouldn\'t do anything.
It never occurred to them to realize that when you upset yourself, you have less energy to do something and you have less perception. You\'re not seeing things right anymore. You\'re overreacting.
I know nothing about boxing, but they tell me that the last thing a boxer in the ring ought to do is to get upset or lose his temper because then he\'s lost the match. They tell me too that the first thing his opponent is trying to do is to get him to lose his temper. So then he loses coordination and perception.
And how often people who get into social projects, great projects for the welfare of others, they get so involved emotionally and so upset that they destroy the very work they set out to do. They lose perception. They overreact.
One more example. Let\'s see. Any other example?
Yes. OK. Great.
All right. Give me a name. Maureen.
The question is, suppose there\'s a crime done against you. Shouldn\'t you be upset about that? Let\'s.
I know it\'s like your people have stolen something from you. Did you say your name is Maureen? Maureen, we didn\'t say don\'t do anything about it.

 OK. All right. All right.
Now, how about that? There\'s a crime done against you. Does that justify you\'re now upsetting yourself?
Yes or no? Does it justify you\'re upsetting yourself? No.
No. But look, it seems almost unrealistic to even think in these terms. Now, do you understand what I was saying this morning, that when you begin to talk to people, they don\'t want to hear get away.
You\'re crazy. You\'re mad. Get away.
All right. Bye. Does this remind you of a gospel sentence?
We don\'t want to hear you. Go away. Go somewhere else.
Don\'t waste your breath. You don\'t want to hear. You don\'t want to be happy. They don\'t want to change. All right. Let them be.
Why would you want to waste your breath? Do you have a need to give yourself the good feeling that you\'re converting everybody and the cause of their enlightenment? Maybe you ought to look into yourself now.
You\'re not going to be happy unless you set yourself up as the great master. See, they don\'t want to hear. Great.
All right. That\'s their responsibility. So, every time.
Oh, let\'s let\'s word it this way. Nothing in all of this world has the power to upset you. Nothing.
As a matter of fact, nothing has ever upset you. Nobody has ever hurt you. How about that one?
My, you\'re not going to like this. Oh, no. You mean nobody hurt me?
No, no one ever hurt you. You stupidly hurt yourself. Now, that brings me to part two.
Oh, they didn\'t hurt me, right? Reality didn\'t hurt me, right? So, I cannot lash out against them.
So, who did the damage? Oh, me. Me hurt me?
Yeah, and I\'m going to lash out against me. I\'m going to hate me for doing this. You\'re getting what I\'m saying?

 Why do I do this? I\'m getting angry with me. I\'m getting upset with me.
What do you know now? Well, I got good news for you. They didn\'t do it to me.
The world didn\'t do it to me. Life didn\'t do it to me. And best of all, I didn\'t do it to me.
Isn\'t that wonderful? Then, who done it? Look, honest to goodness, would any of you in your right mind sit down and knowingly and willingly and deliberately upset yourselves?
Come on. Do you think any of you would do that? No, we wouldn\'t.
We\'re not going to upset ourselves deliberately. It\'s as if this is something beyond our control, right? So, stop blaming yourself.
This has been stamped into you. You\'ve been programmed into this. You\'ve been conditioned this way.
This is what you\'ve got to understand. You see, you don\'t have to do anything for enlightenment. You don\'t have to do anything for liberation and for spirituality.
All you have to do is to see something, understand something. If you would understand it, you\'d be free. So, I\'m upset.
I\'ve upset myself. They did it to me. Wrong.
I did it to me. Wrong. It\'s my programming that\'s doing it to me.
It\'s the culture that\'s doing it to me. This is the way I\'ve been brought up. This is the way I\'ve been trained.
That native in that part of Africa has vanished. The sentence killed him. Wrong.
He killed himself. Wrong. It was his programming that did it.
So, we\'ve been programmed this way. You know, one of the signs of material maturity, my dears, is the following. Very hard to define maturity, but I\'ve come up with a fairly workable definition.
Maturity is when you no longer blame anyone. You don\'t blame others. You don\'t blame yourself.
You see what\'s wrong and you set about remedying it. That\'s one pretty good sign of maturity. You know, you\'d be amazed how childish people are.
They\'re so childish. I mean, have you seen a little child? As a matter of fact, you can almost take for granted that in its present state of lunacy, 99.999% of humanity is childish. Just hang around. Hang around for half a day. You\'ll find our greatest men and

 women indulging in acts of childishness.
Utterly childish. You know the way a child behaves? A little kid, I don\'t know about here in the States, but in India, I mean, they bump their knee into a table and they\'re saying, wow!
And everybody goes, who hit you? The table? Naughty table.
Naughty table. And then the kid\'s feeling good. See how childish that is?
So, they\'re coming to you and say, now who hit you? My wife, my husband, my superior. Aren\'t they awful?
They\'re terrible. And the little baby\'s feeling good. And he\'s the president of whatever big association or country or whatever.
Oh my God, how childish can a person get? And they don\'t know their childishness. They got to blame somebody.
But no, maturity is to understand that no one is to blame. Or, better still, more accurately put, not to give yourself the childish emotional outlet of blaming others or yourself, but rather seeing what went wrong and setting about remedying it. Do something about it.
See? So, they\'re not to blame, you\'re not to blame. It\'s the programming that\'s doing this to you.
Now, you\'re probably a bit too tired to do any exercise or anything, but I\'m still going to offer you one. It\'ll only take a couple of minutes. See if it has any effect on you.
Think of something that till now you would have said has upset you. I told you to think about it a little while ago. Go back to that and understand that it wasn\'t that thing or that person that upset you.
It was your programming. It was your programming. It wasn\'t their meanness.
It wasn\'t their disapproval. It wasn\'t their rejection. It wasn\'t the failure.
It was your programming that upset you. You see, what happens to you? My, if anyone would summon up the courage to tell us what happened to him or her, that would be splendid.
Anyone wants to tell us if you had any success doing it and what happened to you? Okay, would you come up here, please, Chris? Great.
[Speaker 3] (14:03 - 14:16)

 Would you stand up, please? Yes. It would seem like your whole culture has told you to feel upset in that situation.
To take that away leaves you feeling like you\'re lost.
[Speaker 1] (14:17 - 14:25)
All right. So you react with a feeling of, gee, I\'m lost. Something like that.
Somebody else had a hand up here. Okay. All right.
[Speaker 2] (14:28 - 14:45)
You\'ve made me realize something really, really incredible. Until now, I have always identified with what I felt. And now I know that I am not my feeling.
I am not my unhappiness. I am not my displeasure. It will go away. [Speaker 1] (14:45 - 14:52)
Great. So you were able to distance yourself from the unhappiness, right? And say, well, it\'ll go away.
All right. How about you?
[Speaker 4] (14:53 - 14:57)
My response is similar. You\'d have to, it comes to a point where you have to let go of it.
[Speaker 1] (14:57 - 14:58)
All right.
[Speaker 4] (14:58 - 15:02)
And realize that you\'re the one that has the power, not the thing over you.
[Speaker 1] (15:02 - 20:00)
Okay. A similar response. It\'s like, you\'re the one I have to let go of it, did you say?
Okay. Look, when you\'re able to do this repeatedly again and again, the general universal experience is the following. Gee, this thing upset me.
First step. Second step. It wasn\'t this thing that upset me.
It was my programming that upset me. Oh, so I don\'t have to deploy all of my energies fighting that outside thing, right? All right.

 I don\'t have to spend all my emotional energies blaming that outside thing. That\'s right. Funny.
This thing gets depleted. It keeps going down. You know, because as long as I\'ve got an enemy out there who\'s upsetting me, I\'m demanding that that change.
I\'m refusing to give up my upset unless that thing change. Am I clear enough? Like if I think, would you give me your name?
PJ. Now, if I think PJ is upsetting me, then as long as he\'s there and he\'s indulging in the behavior which I say is upsetting me, I\'m refusing to give up my upset unless he reform, he change, he disappear, he get away or whatever. Right?
But let\'s suppose PJ refuses to get away. Let\'s suppose it isn\'t PJ, but it\'s life and life persists in being that way. So I continue to be upset.
Now, the moment I say, hey, wait a minute. It isn\'t PJ. It isn\'t life. It\'s my programming. Oh, is that what it is? That\'s right.
You know, he could be right there doing exactly what he\'s doing now and I needn\'t be upset. Other people in my position wouldn\'t be upset. It\'s my programming.
Oh, that\'s a revelation. And the upset is going down, down, down, down. And after a while, you\'re getting less and less upset about fewer and fewer things.
Am I clear enough? Am I? Okay.
Now comes the big pardon me, huh? I don\'t mean to be insulting or anything, but you\'re going to enjoy this. Now comes the big American question.
How do we fix it? Like, okay, he\'s not upsetting me. I\'m not upsetting me.
The programming is upsetting me. How do I fix this? You know, the big oriental answer, you don\'t fix it.
You let it be. It\'ll go away. The more you try to fix it, the stronger it gets.
Gee, that\'s another mind-blowing thing. Don\'t fix it. Let it be.
Let it be. It\'ll go away. It really will.
If you\'ve seen this, if you\'ve seen, but don\'t I need to know where this programming comes from? That\'s a help. That\'s a help, but not necessary.
And if you\'re hell-bent on getting it, I\'ve got to find it out where it comes from and I got to change it. You\'re going to make it worse. You can be sure of that.

 Lots of people never change because they\'re so determined to change. They\'re so determined that they never change. They\'re so tense.
They\'re so anxious that it gets worse. So here\'s another thing that particularly people in the West and in the East were all the same. You know the kind of stuff I give you here.
I give in Japan and I give in India and I give in Spain and Latin America and everywhere and everywhere the people are the same. You\'ve got a thin veneer of culture that\'s different, but deep down we\'re all the same. Same problems everywhere.
The hatred is the same. The conflict is the same. The guilt is the same.
The dependence on people\'s opinion and on the emotional dependence on approval is the same. It\'s exactly the same. Just scrape off the exterior culture.
We\'re all the same. Now everywhere people are trying to fix it to, how do I change it? You don\'t change it.
You understand it. You look at it. You observe it.
It\'ll take care of itself. Then what happens is you don\'t change it. Life changes it.
Nature changes it. The way you don\'t heal yourself, nature heals itself. You just do something to aid nature.
So let me wrap this up and we take a kind of a seven minute break to field questions in case I\'ve not been clear enough.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Rediscovery of Life Part 007
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 4:06)
And to aid the questions, I\'ll make it a little more outrageous, okay? I\'ll make it a bit more outrageous. When something happens that we commonly say upsets you, it isn\'t this thing that upsets you.
Life is not rough on you. Life is easy. It\'s your programming that is rough on you. Life is easy. Life is delightful. Think of my friend Ram Chandra, the rickshaw puller.
All right. So it isn\'t this thing outside there that\'s causing the upset. It isn\'t you that are causing the upset.
It\'s your programming. You got people you\'re living with. You\'re having difficulty in human relations.
Human relations are never difficult. It\'s your programming that\'s difficult. There are never any difficulties in relating to people.
There are only difficulties in your programming. How come you\'re getting upset? You mean it\'s possible to live with a guy who\'s losing his temper every day and not get upset?
Yes. Yes. Very much so.
Not be upset. You mean when somebody insults you, you\'re not getting upset? That\'s right.
Why not? Why not not be upset when someone insults you? I mean, when the letter isn\'t received, it\'s sent back to the man who wrote it or the woman who wrote it.
You don\'t receive it, it goes back. How come you received it? You know why you got insulted or why you were upset by the insult?
Because you took it. That\'s why. Silly.
Why did you take it? You mean it\'s possible not to take it? You mean you call this being human, living like a little monkey?
Anyone pulls a string and you jump? I\'ll tell you what it means to be human. You know what it means to be human is, it\'s something like this.
A guy goes and buys a newspaper every day from a newspaper vendor. The newspaper vendor\'s always rude to him. So a friend of his says, why do you buy your paper from this guy?

 He\'s always rude to you. Why don\'t you buy it from someone else just next door? Says this guy, why should the vendor decide where I buy my newspaper?
Why should he have the power to decide that? Now you\'re talking about a human being. Otherwise, you\'re talking about monkeys.
You could control them. Just twist their tail a little and they act in predictable ways. Programming.
Programming. So it isn\'t the person who has upset you. It isn\'t you who have upset yourself.
It\'s your programming. All you have to do is understand this and distance yourself from it. Understand it.
You want to do something about that programming if you can, fine. Is it necessary? No.
If you\'re understanding it, you know it comes from your programming. Not from you. Not from them.
It\'ll take care of itself. It really will. You\'ll be amazed that after a few months, things that before would have made you sick with anxiety or with suffering or with whatever, you can take in your stride with perfect peace.
You\'re quite relaxed about it. That\'s the spiritual life. That\'s dying to yourself, dropping that programming.
You drop it by understanding it for what it is. Call it by its name. All right. We have a couple of calls. I think Scranton\'s on the line. So we...
Okay. Yes. Oh.
[Speaker 4] (4:07 - 4:07)
Great.
[Speaker 1] (4:10 - 4:11)
Uh-huh.
[Speaker 4] (4:12 - 4:47)
Three questions. First, in the world you described, is it possible to send the second? Second, do we liberate ourselves or does Christ\'s grace free us?
And the third, may I not take action even though I am not upset that an injustice I see, if somebody jumps in line ahead of me, I\'m not going to let them upset me. But may I take

 action?
[Speaker 1] (4:48 - 7:20)
Great. Okay. Thanks, Jane.
So here we go. We\'ll begin backwards. When somebody jumps into the line ahead of me, may I not take action?
Oh, no. Go right ahead and take action. Take all the action you want. Okay. Yes. It\'s okay.
The point is, you\'re taking action to right a wrong. You\'re not taking action to relieve an upset feeling. You see the difference?
That\'s a big difference. So go ahead and take action. But you\'re taking action to right something that was wrong.
I\'m sorry to say frequently, we\'re taking action not only to right something which is wrong, but to relieve upset feelings. That\'s bad. Secondly, is it possible to sin in this world that we\'re talking about?
Of course. There\'s so much sin around us. There\'s so much evil around us.
However, when the more you understand human nature, the less inclined you feel to judge anyone. Because there\'s so much stupidity, so much ignorance, so much fear, and so much programming behind so much of what we call sin, that we\'ve been rightly advised to judge no one. No one.
Not even ourselves. Paul says that. Even he doesn\'t dare to judge himself.
And thirdly, is it we who liberate ourselves, or is it Christ\'s grace? Christ\'s grace is available to everybody. But you know, having Christ\'s grace available to you doesn\'t necessarily mean that you\'re going to get anywhere.
You\'ve got to do something. Remember the story of that guy who lit his pipe and burnt his beard? And they said, You burnt your beard!
He said, I know, but can\'t you see I\'m praying for rain? Well, yes, I mean the rain is available, but you better do something. So the idea is, unfortunately, God\'s grace is available to everyone.
The tragedy of the human race is not that there\'s a shortage of God\'s grace. It\'s that there\'s a shortage of proper understanding. We got wrong ideas that need to be corrected.

 All right, so that much for your question. So much for your questions, Jane. Let\'s get somebody else.
Isn\'t this fun, getting people calling from all parts of the states? Okay, you\'re on the line. Hello.
Hello.
[Speaker 5] (7:21 - 7:25)
Yes, brother. This is Pat Jeremiah from Jacksonville University. [Speaker 1] (7:25 - 7:27)
Would you give me your name again, please?
[Speaker 5] (7:27 - 7:28)
Pat Jeremiah.
[Speaker 1] (7:30 - 7:33)
Pat, yes, Pat. Okay, Pat, I got it.
[Speaker 5] (7:33 - 7:50)
You have a great deal of education and travel in your background. And while these are not necessary for the enlightenment as you define it, I wonder if you could comment on how they prepare you as steps of growth to be ready to accept the truth that you speak of.
[Speaker 1] (7:50 - 7:52) Okay, thanks, Pat. [Speaker 5] (7:52 - 7:52) Thank you.
[Speaker 1] (7:53 - 10:03)
Thanks for calling. Well, does an educational background prepare you for this sort of thing? No, you need common sense and intelligence, which has nothing to do with erudition, literacy, or learning of any sort, period.
Don\'t you get away with the thought that a PhD is better equipped than a simple illiterate peasant in the Andes. Not for this, not for this. You\'d be amazed at how little intelligence learned people have.

 You really would. You really would. I mean it.
You\'ve got to deal with them. You know, yesterday, a friend of mine at Fordham University was telling me that he read an extraordinary book about the people who sent some of these spaceships, these rockets out to the moon and stuff. From their own confessions and interviews and stuff, they said, you know, it\'s tragic that we were able to produce all of this cooperation to send a rocket onto the moon, but we can\'t cooperate with our families.
We don\'t know how to do it. We don\'t know how to get on with our wives and husbands. See what I mean?
You see what I mean? And I\'ve run into peasants who know how to do it. How about that?
That is intelligence. So learning isn\'t the same as intelligence at all. You can have a lot of learning and no awareness of yourself at all.
You could know how spaceships function and you wouldn\'t know how you yourself function. No great help. For this, what is needed is not an educational background, but wisdom.
Understanding. Intelligence. Which is acquired by what I said to you this morning. Cutting. Scraping. Melting.
Questioning. Doubting. If you never question, if you never doubt what they taught you, you never doubt what your culture gave you, how would you understand all of this?
All right, let\'s get another call. Yes, you\'re on the line. Welcome to the show. [Speaker 2] (10:04 - 10:05)
Hello father.
[Speaker 1] (10:05 - 10:06)
Yes.
[Speaker 2] (10:06 - 10:11)
Yes, this is Michael Uy from the Catholic Chapel in Newman Center at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee.
[Speaker 1] (10:11 - 10:13)
Great. Thanks for calling, Michael. Let\'s have the question. [Speaker 2] (10:14 - 10:48)

 Okay, I\'ve got two questions for you here. The first question, I\'d like you to relate your concept of happiness and what it is to be human to God. And then the second question, I\'d like you to clarify something on detachment for us.
First of all, you said that our desire is what chains us. What about our desire for God? And is God to be found in desirelessness?
And moreover, could we equate God with desirelessness? And then the second one is, what about the person who\'s being physically abused in a home? How can he detach himself?
[Speaker 1] (10:48 - 10:51)
Would you say that again, please, Michael? I didn\'t get that. The second one?
[Speaker 2] (10:52 - 10:57)
About the person who\'s being physically abused at home. Yes. That person attempts to detach himself.
[Speaker 1] (10:58 - 13:24)
All right. Okay, let\'s begin with the second one. Thanks, Michael.
Okay, thank you. We\'ll begin with the second one, which is more difficult. Obviously, a person who\'s being physically attacked at home is going to find it much more difficult not to be upset than someone who contemplates the world seen from his window.
Okay. Look, I\'m not saying this is easy. I\'m saying it\'s possible.
And I\'m saying, if you think it\'s impossible, you\'re never going to get there. Is it possible that people would be tortured and at peace? Yes.
I\'ve seen instances of this. Read an extraordinary letter from, written by a prisoner in Nazi Germany who was tortured every day. And you know, he knows he\'s going to be executed.
The most sublime and lovely letters that he wrote to his family. I read those letters. I said, how would this be possible?
I read this about 20 years ago. See, I know now it is possible. But let\'s make a beginning.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. Let\'s deal with the guy who breaks into the line. Let\'s deal with the woman who\'s always nagging you or with the man who\'s always insulting you.
Let\'s begin there. And as I said, they\'re not causing the upset. It\'s coming from your

 programming.
You\'re not causing the upset. It\'s coming from your programming. Give it a try. Get started. See what it does to you. When you can understand this.
Again, remember, I\'m not saying that this would mean you\'re not identifying wrong when you see wrong. I\'m not saying that this means that you\'re not going to take action. You are.
But just seeing where the upset is coming from. Is that clear enough? All right.
Let\'s move on to the next one then. Was there an... Oh, pardon me.
Was there one which I forgot? Which was that? Oh, the desirelessness.
Michael, you\'d have to be patient with me. I\'ll deal with the desirelessness soon. OK, you\'re on the line.
I pressed the button already. Would you identify yourself?
[Speaker 6] (13:25 - 13:28)
Hi, my name is Joyce and I\'m calling from Georgetown University.
[Speaker 1] (13:29 - 13:33)
Great. Would you give us your name again, please? Joyce.
Joyce. Yes, Joyce.
[Speaker 6] (13:33 - 13:48)
OK. My question is, does true happiness come from within a humanly desire and control for happiness or does it come from a soul desire to know God and to know Jesus Christ?
[Speaker 1] (13:48 - 17:10)
OK. Very good. We could tie in.
Thanks, Joyce. We could tie in your question with the one of Michael, the desire for God. Now, you know, St. Thomas Aquinas, the prince of Catholic theologians, at least was unanimously considered the prince of Catholic theologians until quite recently, says...
Oh, you\'re pretty sophisticated theologically. I can see that. ...says in the introduction to his great Summa Theologica, he says, about God, we can say this much with certainty, that we do not know what he is. God is beyond the knowing mind, which is why we call him mystery. How does one desire what one cannot and may not even conceive, what

 one speaks of in symbolical, analogical terms? So you see, when we talk about desiring God, we don\'t talk of God as an object out there, as a person out there that we can fully conceive or understand.
And so that doesn\'t fall in to what I\'m talking about, because you\'re desiring you know not what. So frequently people, when they talk about desiring God, will set up some kind of an image and begin to desire that image frequently. But to desire the unknown, the unknowable, that which is beyond all human conception and understanding, the mysterion, the mystery, what does that mean?
We have no idea. So as Michael said pretty well, could we equate that with desirelessness? Maybe, maybe not.
But for heaven\'s sake, don\'t get distracted by this now. Get on with the task. We could have all kinds of theological discussions about the other thing, but in the meantime, get on with the task.
Get on with self-observation, self-awareness, self-understanding, self-liberation. Then you will understand better, beyond understanding, as Saint Paul says, what God is. Well, I\'m not too sure that\'s much clearer than when we began.
But don\'t forget we\'re talking about God. Look, let me tell you a powerful little story which will illustrate what I\'m saying. Everywhere I go, I find people fighting about God.
I find people killing one another in the name of God. You\'re obviously not killing one another in the name of God, but the God they think they know, right? Well, I\'m sorry I\'m going to have to disappoint you.
We\'ve got five calls waiting. Let\'s go take the calls first. Then I\'ll tell you the story. All right, let\'s... All right, you\'re on the line.
[Speaker 3] (17:11 - 17:14)
Hi, my name\'s Jeff and I\'m calling from the University of Texas at El Paso. [Speaker 1] (17:14 - 17:18)
Yes, Jeff, thanks for calling. Do you have a question for us? [Speaker 3] (17:19 - 17:27)
Yes, we have two questions we\'d like to ask. The first one is concerning the blaming the programming.
[Speaker 1] (17:27 - 17:28)

 That\'s right.
[Speaker 3] (17:28 - 17:36)
Okay, how can we obtain maturity if we blame the programming? Isn\'t that being immature because we\'re putting the blame on the programming?
[Speaker 1] (17:37 - 17:37)
Okay.
[Speaker 3] (17:37 - 17:43)
That leads to things like the devil made me do it or I\'m a victim of society. And that leads to taking the responsibility.
[Speaker 1] (17:44 - 17:48)
That\'s right, okay. And is that all, Jeff?
[Speaker 3] (17:49 - 17:57)
The second question is what is your concept of sin in the role of Jesus being the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world?
[Speaker 1] (17:58 - 20:00)
Okay, thank you. Let\'s begin with the second. Look, I\'d much rather not get into great theological discussions now on the Christian dogma and scripture.
See, that would take us too far afield. So with the second one, I\'d rather leave it aside because these are beautiful, symbolical expressions to express a deep reality. But where\'s the time to develop all of that in the brief space of one day?
Okay, now about the blaming. Do you blame your programming? No, you don\'t blame your programming.
You understand. Now it\'s like saying you blame the devil. Poor devil.
I mean, we\'re blaming the devil. As Jeff says very well, you\'re not taking responsibility. Great, take responsibility.
But one must take responsibility wisely, okay. Remember how I said the upset is not in reality, it\'s in you. Remember that?
Don\'t keep blaming reality, it\'s in you. But shall I blame myself? But hey, you haven\'t done it.

 And it\'s no maturity to blame yourself when you\'re not to blame. You\'re not doing it deliberately. This comes from your programming.
So that\'s what I mean. You\'re not blaming your programming. You\'re understanding that that\'s where it comes from.
When you bump your knee into a table, you must understand that the pain is not in the table. The pain is caused by something that\'s happening in your knee. Something\'s happening in your knee and that causes the pain.
The pain is not in the table. Now, when you bump into reality, there\'s a pain caused within you. That pain is not caused by reality, but something that\'s happening inside of you.
You\'re not producing that deliberately. Who would deliberately want that?

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Rediscovery of Life Part 008
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 0:24)
...to cause pain to themselves. Now, you have to understand what that something is. Why is it that with some people this process doesn\'t go on or they\'ve released themselves from it, whereas with others it does.
This is a responsibility to understand and as a result of understanding to be freed from it. Okay, let\'s take another question. Yes, you\'re on the line.
[Speaker 2] (0:25 - 0:29)
Yes, this is Nancy Nelson from the University of Colorado in Boulder.
[Speaker 1] (0:29 - 0:30)
Yes, Nancy.
[Speaker 2] (0:31 - 0:37)
Yes, all right, and I\'m up in Estes Park with 150 other students from the Rocky Mountain College student group.
[Speaker 1] (0:37 - 0:40)
Gee, that\'s tremendous, Nancy. That\'s very heartening.
[Speaker 2] (0:40 - 0:45)
And I have a question that was referred to earlier about the victims of violent crime.
[Speaker 7] (0:46 - 0:46)
Yes.
[Speaker 2] (0:46 - 0:54)
Now, I feel that painful emotions and a lot of confusion and isolation is brought about by a situation like this.
[Speaker 7] (0:54 - 0:54)
Yes.
[Speaker 2] (0:55 - 1:02)
And by having the idea that you mustn\'t be upset in a situation like this, I know it\'s a

 very uncompassionate view towards people. [Speaker 7] (1:03 - 1:03)
All right.
[Speaker 2] (1:03 - 1:13)
I\'d like to know how you would be able to cope with dealing with someone who is not at your level and how would be the best way to approach a person like this and show an empathetic view?
[Speaker 1] (1:13 - 2:58)
Okay, thanks, Nancy. Thanks. What Nancy says is so right.
You know, if when someone comes to you and is all upset about, let\'s say, she or he is a victim of crime and they\'re all upset, or let\'s say someone\'s mother has died and is full of grief, and you don\'t take the attitude of, oh, you\'re grieving, you\'re upset, there\'s something wrong with, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. You understand. Look, this poor person, even if the grief or if the grief comes from an attachment, if the pain, the isolation comes from an attack, this poor person isn\'t causing it.
Have you understood that? Have you understood me to say that? They\'re not causing it.
We could sympathize with them. We could understand them. We can be compassionate with them and gently, when they\'re ready, explain where it\'s coming from.
Because ultimately, we\'re not being compassionate if we don\'t give them the secret, some day or other. Am I clear enough there? Like, see, you\'ve come to me and you\'re very upset because someone has injured you.
Well, I\'ll understand you. I\'ll understand where you\'re coming from. I\'ll be compassionate towards you.
But someday, sometime, somewhere, if you\'re ready, I\'ll slip you the secret. That to me would be true compassion. You don\'t have to be this way.
There\'s another way. Okay, one more question. Welcome to the show. You\'re on the line. Would you identify yourself?
[Speaker 2] (2:59 - 3:00)
My name is Valerie Nunez.
[Speaker 1] (3:01 - 3:01)

 Yes, Valerie.
[Speaker 2] (3:01 - 3:04)
I\'m calling from the Catholic diocese in Brownsville. [Speaker 1] (3:04 - 3:05)
Uh-huh.
[Speaker 2] (3:05 - 3:12)
My question is dealing with the matter of upsetness. [Speaker 7] (3:12 - 3:13)
Yes.
[Speaker 2] (3:13 - 3:30)
I\'d like to say that it\'s not the people around us that have upset us. It\'s not ourselves, but it\'s our program. Is it not the people that were around us that have programmed us when we were young?
[Speaker 1] (3:31 - 5:00)
Okay, that\'s pretty good. Yes. All right, Valerie.
Thank you. It\'s like, isn\'t it the people around us who have programmed us when we were young? They have.
But poor dears, they didn\'t set out with any malice to do this to us. They\'re the victims of what other people have done to them. You understand?
So we\'re not swearing at them. We\'re not yelling at them. Again and again, I get people come to me who are so upset about their parents.
They can\'t forgive their parents. They hate their parents. All right, I understand.
I\'m not saying that your parents did right or they did wrong. Maybe they did wrong. All right.
But look, could you understand them? Because that\'s what love is all about. See, love is not blaming others.
Love is not judging others. Love is not condemning others. Love is understanding.
Can you understand where they came from? Can you understand how there\'s so little

 malice there and so much ignorance and so much goodwill and so much helplessness and so much programming and so much confusion and so much fear? Have you ever paused to understand this?
Oh, then you\'ll understand what it means to love. That\'ll change you too. Okay. Any more calls? Hello? Hello.
You\'re on the line.
[Speaker 3] (5:01 - 5:01)
Hello, Tony.
[Speaker 1] (5:02 - 5:02)
Yes.
[Speaker 3] (5:02 - 5:03)
John Mergenhagen.
[Speaker 1] (5:04 - 5:10)
Yes. Hello, John. Good to hear from you again.
You have a question for us. Yes. Do you have a question for us, John? [Speaker 3] (5:10 - 5:42)
I do. I understand now that my happiness does not consist in being free of attachments and desires. I understand that Jesus himself could experience fears and hurts and anger, but still not lose that lotus place with the Father.
But my problem now is I also believe that my happiness does not consist in a very passive human existence where I would become an unfeeling zombie, but I feel that somehow in the middle is a passive human existence where I would become an unfeeling zombie, but I feel that somehow in the middle is a passive human existence where I would become an unfeeling zombie, but I feel that somehow in the middle is a passive human existence where I would become an unfeeling zombie, but I feel that somehow in the middle is a passive human existence where I would become an unfeeling zombie, but I feel that somehow in the middle is a passive human existence where I would become an unfeeling zombie, but I feel that somehow in the middle is a passive human existence where I would become an unfeeling zombie, but I feel that somehow in the middle is a passive human
[Speaker 1] (5:45 - 6:43)

 existence where I would become an unfeeling zombie, but I feel that somehow in the middle is a passive human existence where I would become an unfeeling zombie, but I feel that somehow in the middle is a passive human existence where I would become an unfeeling zombie, but I feel that somehow in the middle is a passive human existence where I would become an unfeeling zombie, but I feel that somehow in the middle is a passive human existence where I would become an unfeeling zombie, but I feel that somehow in the middle is a passive human existence where I would become an unfeeling zombie, but I feel that somehow in the middle is a passive human existence where I would become an unfeeling zombie, but I feel that somehow in the middle is a passive human existence where I would become an unfeeling zombie, but I feel that somehow in the middle is a passive human existence where I would become an unfeeling zombie, but I feel that somehow in the middle is a passive human existence where I would become an unfeeling zombie, but I feel that somehow in the middle is a passive human existence where I would become an unfeeling zombie, but I feel that somehow in the middle is a passive human existence where I would become an unfeeling zombie, Any more?
Let\'s take a couple of questions from here. Anyone would like to ask something? All right. Would you stand up, please?
[Speaker 5] (6:43 - 7:07)
And yes, my name is Peter Butler. I\'m from Fordham University. Yes, Peter.
I have a problem going along with the idea that that we\'ve been programmed to be upset. It would be to me by looking at very young children who haven\'t been programmed yet with anything, that they\'re naturally upset and that we need programming to teach people how to overcome upset.
[Speaker 1] (7:07 - 8:44)
All right. That\'s pretty good. What Peter says is when you study young children, you see that they\'re naturally upset.
They don\'t need any particular programming to be upset. OK. First, you have a point there, Peter.
You see, little children become upset when they don\'t get something which they think is vital to them and which is necessary for their happiness. See, then you know the way after a while they forget all about it or they grow up and they don\'t care for it. So cause number one, you picked up an attachment desire, as I said this morning.
But for the rest, little children, you know, you don\'t tell a little child that it\'s a horrible thing not to be approved by people. Couldn\'t care less. You don\'t tell a little child that,

 you know, when somebody laughs at you, it\'s terrible.
You could laugh at a child. Ha ha ha. The child laughs back.
That\'s what I\'ve got to going to deal with in the last session. The drug, the drug, the drug, the control. When you\'re two years old, if they teach you, you know, when they do this, you\'re supposed to feel good.
And when they say, oh, you\'re supposed to feel bad and you swallow that, you\'re finished. Programming has begun. One more question from the hall, then we have two more calls waiting and then we end.
All right. Would you come up here, please?
[Speaker 6] (8:51 - 8:53)
My name\'s Eileen. I\'m from Fordham University also. [Speaker 1] (8:54 - 8:54)
Yes, Eileen.
[Speaker 6] (8:54 - 9:12)
I just wanted to go back on the point you made where something doesn\'t upset you. What about in a case with like a prisoner of war or someone who\'s got like AIDS or terminally ill disease? There\'s really nothing that you can do for them, but you still feel upset for them.
How are you supposed to get around not feeling upset about this person? [Speaker 1] (9:12 - 10:23)
OK, Eileen, that\'s pretty good. Look, I put it this way. Take the case of the person who was told he had AIDS and he only had six months to live and was perfectly serene.
Now, you wouldn\'t want to be upset when he\'s serene, right? OK. All right.
And then let\'s suppose there\'s someone who\'s not serene, but who\'s upset. And I say, gee, if you contemplated life and you know it\'s coming to an end and it has to come to an end, if instead of reading so many books, we spend more time looking out the window, like this gorgeous thing you have here in the States and in the West, the seasons, and you see those leaves falling and changing, how much that tells you about life. When you\'ve understood that and you understand the flow of life, well, he\'s upset.
You\'re not going to help him by being upset yourself. OK, great. Let\'s take the last two calls and then we\'ll end the session.

 All right, you\'re on the line.
[Speaker 2] (10:23 - 10:26)
Hello, Father, this is Marshall Whitaker from the University of Dayton.
[Speaker 7] (10:27 - 10:27)
Yes, Marshall.
[Speaker 2] (10:28 - 10:30)
We have three questions, if you can answer them all.
[Speaker 7] (10:30 - 10:31)
Uh-huh.
[Speaker 2] (10:31 - 10:39)
The first one is, how would what you\'re saying attack suffering the way we cause others deliberately to suffer?
[Speaker 7] (10:40 - 10:41)
Uh-huh.
[Speaker 2] (10:42 - 10:46)
If we deliberately do something so someone else would suffer. [Speaker 1] (10:47 - 11:58)
OK, let\'s deal with those questions quickly, Marshall, because we\'re running out of time. Do we ever deliberately cause someone to suffer? OK.
Now, I\'m going to do this very briefly, OK? It probably would require an hour, so I hope I don\'t get misunderstood. But all the same, I\'m going to take the risk and say it.
When you do damage to someone, you know the first person you\'re damaging is yourself. Does this make sense? When you nurture hatred for someone, the one you\'re damaging the first is yourself, right?
Now, who does this sort of thing? Crazy people. Who buys a brand-new watch for $3,000 and puts sand in it?
Crazy people. Who sits down to a meal and puts powdered glass in the meal to destroy themselves? Crazy people.

 Crazy people commit sins. They honor their minds. They\'re killing themselves.
So, uh, all right, Marshall, how about the second thing? The second question. Are you still on the line, Marshall?
Hello, Marshall? Uh, this is... Yes. [Speaker 4] (11:58 - 12:03)
My name is Scott Frock. I\'m from the Archbishop Sheen Catholic Communication Center in Dallas.
[Speaker 1] (12:03 - 12:04) Yes, Scott.
[Speaker 4] (12:05 - 12:27)
Um, the first question I\'d like to ask is, how would you comment on someone who seems to have a kind of behavior that just seems to have complete control over them? And secondly, could you relate that to how Paul says that he does things he doesn\'t want to do and the things that he really does want to do, he can\'t do? Do you understand what I\'m saying?
[Speaker 1] (12:27 - 20:00)
Uh-huh. Okay. All right, thanks, Scott.
Let\'s deal with the first one. You know, people who seem to have complete control of themselves through hardening themselves, not allowing themselves to feel. Do you see the difference between this and what I\'ve been saying to you today?
Look, we\'ve got two kinds of people. People who refuse to let themselves feel anything at all. They sort of harden themselves and they say, I\'m not going to care.
I\'m not going to care. I don\'t care at all. That\'s one extreme.
So they\'ve hardened themselves. That\'s no great help. Now, the kind of person I\'m talking about is the person who is upset, but through understanding transcends it, gets over it.
Right? All right. And as for Paul saying he does things that he doesn\'t want to do, etc., he does say, who will get me out of this?
The grace of Christ will get me out of it. Now, the grace of Christ comes through so many ways. You must not understand the grace of Christ as being some substance that is poured into you.

 When you come to a deeper understanding of reality, is that not the grace of Christ? When you understand yourself better, is that not the grace of Christ? So there it is.
Okay. So, here we go. During the interval, I was thinking about those questions on religion.
Something very briefly on religion and that story I promised you, remember? And then we were interrupted by the calls. There\'s this guy who invented fire.
The art of making fire. See? And so then he takes the tools for making fire and goes up to the north where they have these tribes shivering in the cold.
And he teaches them the art of making fire and the advantages. And people become interested. They learn.
And what do you know? Pretty soon they\'re cooking. They\'re using it for building.
And before they had time to say thanks to the inventor, he had disappeared. He didn\'t want any thanks. He just wanted people to benefit from his invention.
He goes to another tribe and he attempts to interest them too in his new invention. Well, he ran into a snag there, see? The priests began to realize how popular the guy was becoming and how their own influence on the people was diminishing.
So they decided to make a way with him. They poisoned him. A suspicion arose among the people that it was the priests who had done it.
So you know what the priests did? They had a huge portrait made of the man. They put it on the main altar in the temple.
They devised a liturgy by which the man would be honored, a ritual. And year after year people came to pay homage to the great inventor and to the instruments for making fire. And the ritual was faithfully observed.
But there was no fire. No fire. Ritual.
Remembrance. Gratitude. Veneration.
No fire. Why do you call me Lord, Lord and fail to do what I tell you? What\'s he telling us?
Love. Love. That\'s what he\'s saying.
What\'s the major obstacle to love? What I\'ve been talking about today. Our programming.
Our obsessive attachments. That\'s what\'s blocking it as I hope to show you during this session. The best religion in the world is the religion called love.

 Not the religion called Lord, Lord. Who says that? Jesus Christ himself.
And we may never lose sight of that. We Christians. Talking about this matter of grace and our effort, etc.
There\'s the one, the lovely one of the pious old Jew who said one day to God. He said, God, look how faithfully I\'ve served you all my life. Right?
Of course he heard no answer. Right, says he himself to himself. Now I\'ve never asked you for anything.
Right? Right, says he. Talking on behalf of God, of course.
And he says, now I\'m going to ask you for just one favor and you can\'t say no to me. All my life I\'ve served you. I\'ve observed the law.
I\'ve kept the rights. I\'ve done good to people. I\'ve observed your commandments.
Just do me this one favor. Let me win the lottery. And then I can retire in peace and security.
So he was convinced that God would grant him his desire. And he waited and waited and waited. And he kept on praying every night.
And after six months nothing had happened. And one night in sheer frustration he yelled. He said, God, give me a break.
Let me win the lottery. And imagine the fright he got when he heard a voice reply. Give me a break yourself.
Buy a ticket. How do you call a ticket? So that much for effort and grace.
Buy your ticket, okay? Make sure you got your ticket. Make sure you\'re using your understanding.
Don\'t expect miracles to happen. Like, you know, see, understand, change as a result of that. So the first thing has to do with religion.
The second point I want to make before we end this afternoon has to do with happiness. I\'m going to tell you one of my favorite stories. You know, sometimes a story says more than a whole day\'s lecture.
Because it sort of speaks to the depths within us. And this one certainly speaks to mine. This is a story of a guy who is moving out of the village in India, out of his village.
And he sees what we in India call a sanyasi. The sanyasi is the wandering mendicant. The sanyasi is the person who having attained enlightenment understands that the

 whole world is his home and the sky is his roof and God is his father and will look after him.
So he moves from place to place the way you and I would move from one room of our home to another. Well, here was this wandering sanyasi and the villager, when he meets him, he said, I cannot believe this. And the sanyasi says, what is it you cannot believe?
And the villager says, I had a dream about you last night. I dreamt that the Lord Vishnu said to me, tomorrow morning you\'ll leave the village around 11 o\'clock and you\'ll run into this wandering sanyasi. And here I\'ve met you.
What else did the Lord Vishnu say to you, said the sanyasi? And the man said, he said to me, if the man...

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Rediscovery of Life Part 009
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 20:00)
...gives you a precious stone he has, you will be the richest man in the whole world. Would you give me the stone? So the sanyasi said, wait a minute.
He rummages in his little sack, knapsack that he had. He said, would this be the stone you\'re talking about? And the man couldn\'t believe his eyes, because it was a diamond, the largest diamond in the world.
He held it in his hands. He said, could I have this? And the sanyasi said, of course, you could take it.
I found it in a forest. You\'re welcome to it. And he went on and sat under a tree on the outskirts of the village.
The man grasped this diamond, and how great was his joy. The way ours is, isn\'t it? The day we really get something we really want.
Do you ever stop to ask how long it lasts? You got the girl you wanted, right? You got the boy you wanted, right?
You got that car, huh? You got that degree. You were first in the university. How long did the joy last? Let\'s measure it. I mean that.
How many seconds? How many minutes? You get tired of it, don\'t you?
Then you\'re looking for something else, aren\'t you? Why don\'t we study this? As valuable, more valuable than studying the scriptures, because what good is it to you to study the scriptures and crucify the Messiah on the basis of them, as Jesus was, if you\'ve not understood this?
If you\'ve not understood what it means to live, and to be free, and to be spiritual? Well, so the guy has the diamond, and then instead of going home, he sits under a tree himself, and all day he sits immersed in thought, and towards evening he goes to the tree where the sannyasi is sitting, gives him back the diamond, and he says, Could you do me a favor? What?
says the sannyasi. He says, Could you give me the riches that makes it possible for you to give this thing away so easily? Boy, I love that story.
I love that story. Could you give me the riches that makes it possible for you to give this away so easily? That is what I\'ve been talking about today.

 The world is full of sorrow. The root of sorrow is attachment. The uprooting of sorrow is the dropping of attachment.
The understanding that attachment is a false belief, the false belief that anything or person can make you happy. True happiness is caused by nothing. True happiness is uncaused.
If you ask the mystic why he or she is happy, the answer will be, Why not? No block, no obstruction. Why not?
Have you ever thought that if something causes your happiness, when you lose that something, your happiness will be destroyed? Has it ever occurred to you that if something causes your happiness, you will become possessive of that thing? You will become anxious lest you lose it?
Whatever that thing be, learning, reputation, good health, life itself. How interesting. The rediscovery of life.
You will never live till you stop clinging to life. Let go. When you cling, happiness dies.
If your happiness depends on anyone or anything, that\'s not happiness, my dears. That\'s anxiety. That\'s tension.
That\'s pressure. That\'s fear. The Japanese have a powerful tale for this.
Oh, it\'s so powerful. There\'s this guy who\'s running away from a tiger, comes to a precipice, and quite unwittingly, he begins to slide down that precipice, and as he\'s sliding, he grabs hold onto a branch of a tree that\'s growing there, kind of a bush, and then he looks down. There\'s no way of climbing up.
In any way, there\'s the tiger waiting for him there, and if he slides down, he slides down to his death, 15,000 feet. What does he do? He has a few minutes to live.
Well, he looks at that bush he\'s holding onto, and he finds it\'s a buried bush. He\'s holding onto it with one hand, and he plucks a berry from the bush with the other, puts it into his mouth, and tastes it, and the story goes, and it tasted so sweet. Isn\'t that marvelous?
I know friends of mine in the past, two of them at different intervals, who were dying, and who said to me, I began to truly taste life, and see how sweet it was when I let go, and I realized that life is ending. It was then that it began to taste sweet. So paradoxically, we\'re doing all the wrong things to be happy.
We\'ve been programmed to be unhappy. Anything we\'re doing is going to make us more unhappy, because anything you do to become happy is going to make you more unhappy, because what are you going to do? Are you going to change yourself?

 Are you going to change others? Are you going to acquire something? You don\'t have to do anything.
You have to understand. Drop the obstruction. Drop the false belief, and the attachment will drop, then you\'ll know what happiness is.
That\'s so easily said. If you would meditate on that for days, and you would experience some of its truth, then you don\'t need to listen to me or to anyone else. You have it.
You\'ve learned it. You\'ve seen it. You\'re attached only because you falsely believe that without this thing, or person, or situation, or event, you will not be happy.
You falsely believe that. See its falseness, and you will be free. How simple.
And here we are scouring the earth, running everywhere in search of it. We had it right here at home, and did not understand it. And we listened to all kinds of sermons, and we studied all kinds of books, and we went to all kinds of churches, but we never heard it.
We never recognized the Messiah. He was right there. It was right there staring at us, right under our nose.
We didn\'t see it. All right, I trust that some of you will. Some of you won\'t maybe, but maybe some of you will.
That much for happiness. That was point two. The first had to do with religion, the second with happiness, the third with human relations.
Let\'s wrap that up. You\'re having trouble with people? You find somebody selfish, moody, unreliable, rejecting, stupid, intolerable, irresponsible, you name it.
Think of troubles you have with human relations. You know the root of all those problems? Hold on to your chairs.
You. No, you, you. You\'re having trouble?
You\'re the cause. How come you\'re affected? You know, people come to me and say, sorry to say it doesn\'t make for much practice where a counselor or a spiritual director is concerned, but who wants much practice?
I mean, if the pig doesn\'t want to learn to sing, let him go somewhere else. It\'s a... He... Do you want to change? Hey, wait a minute. You didn\'t understand me.
He... Do you want to change? But...
Look, there\'s something wrong with you. You\'re upset, right? Right.

 Do you want to change? No. Bye.
Go somewhere else. I don\'t have anything to offer you. I really don\'t.
I really don\'t. You know what you\'re doing? You\'re coming to me and you\'re saying, doctor, I\'ve got stomach cramps.
It\'s awful. It really is awful. Then I, as your doctor, am saying, you know, I prescribed something for your wife.
Okay? Okay? And you\'re saying, gee, that already makes me feel better, doctor. Thanks. Thanks. Isn\'t that crazy?
You\'re having trouble with your wife and you want me to change her? Who\'s having the trouble? You, right?
We\'ll remove the trouble. The cause of the trouble is you. But they don\'t understand this.
They\'ve been brought up to think that everybody else has to change and the whole world has to change for them to be happy. They don\'t understand it. If you\'re upset, there\'s something wrong with you.
Let\'s clean that up first. But you mean she\'s not wrong? She is wrong.
You mean she shouldn\'t change? Of course she should. But you\'re not the guy who\'s going to change her, you know, because you need change first.
How about our taking the beam out of your eye, then you could take the speck out of hers? Huh? Huh?
How about our taking the beam out of your eye, then you could take the speck out of the community\'s eye, out of your family\'s eye, or whatever? You\'re upset. Something wrong with you.
You\'re not even seeing her. You know why? Because when you\'re upset, your telescope is out of focus.
When you\'re upset, your window is blurred. And, fool that you are, you\'re going now to straighten out all the buildings because your window is blurred with the rain. You\'ve got to straighten out the buildings.
Could we clean your window first? We\'ve got to straighten out the... Could we clean your window?
That\'s what I\'m attempting to do for you. Clean the window. Then we know what needs to be done and what doesn\'t need to be done.

 We see people not as they are, but as we are. And it\'s amazing, you know, how in the beginning, we saw rude people. Then when we change, we see frightened people.
They\'re so scared, poor things. They\'re driven to hostility. Then you\'re so understanding.
You\'re so compassionate. Whereas before, you\'d react with anger, with hate. Hey, wait a minute.
Why is he being rude? You\'re too upset to see. You\'re too upset to realize.
Could we clean you up? Oh, no, no, you\'ve come to me so that I can prescribe medicine for the rest. And so you see, my dears, we\'re all in the change business, aren\'t we?
We want to change ourselves. We want to change the world. That\'s what our stupid programming has done to us.
We\'ve got to change everything without first understanding anything. What you need is not change. You need understanding.
Understand yourself. Understand others. I\'m going to say something that\'s perfectly scandalous, but it\'s true.
You\'re not here to change the world. You\'re here to love the world. By damn, you don\'t want to love the world.
You want to change it. You know what it means to love? What it means to love is to see, to see.
How can you love what you don\'t even see? And how can you see when you\'re upset? How can you see when there\'s any strong emotion, here comes another shock, positive or negative coming in the way?
They say love is blind. Rubbish! There\'s nothing so clear-sighted as love, the most clear- sighted thing in the world.
Attachment is blind because it\'s stupid, because it\'s based on a false belief. And they call that love. I\'m in love with you.
I love you. What? You love me or you love yourself?
You know what in love means? In love means I want you for me. In love, I am in love means I\'m possessive of you.
To be in love with you means I want you for me. I\'m not going to be happy without you. I emotionally depend on you.
I can\'t be happy without you. That\'s a drug. That\'s a disease.

 Your culture and mine tells us it\'s the supreme virtue. It\'s garbage. But who dares to say this?
You\'re blind. You\'re full of yourself when you\'re in love. Ever thought of that?
You don\'t see the other person. You\'ve projected a hopeful image onto that person and that\'s what you\'re loving. Hopeful.
When we\'re not expecting anything from the other person, we don\'t say we\'re in love. Ma, you\'ve got lots to meditate on. I\'m afraid I\'m giving you too much, but anyway, there it goes.
Relations. You\'re having trouble relating with others. Take a look at yourself.
Ask yourself why you are upset. Where is it coming from? Your programming, that\'s where.
I\'ve sometimes been amazed in the past that people who would irritate me by their behavior don\'t seem to irritate others who are far, far better than I am. I mean, how come he doesn\'t get irritated when exposed to this behavior? How come I do?
There\'s something wrong with me. And here I was busy trying to change her or him or them. Now when I\'m not upset, oh, then that\'s fine.
That\'s fine. Then I might suggest things. I might do things.
Now I\'m qualified to enter into the change, into any activity involving change, but not till then. Not till then. My telescope is out of focus.
Oh, there\'s a great secret for human relations. How much it has helped me. How much it has helped me.
Anytime I\'m having trouble with anyone, if I\'m upset to say, Hey, Tony, there\'s something wrong with you. How about you and I sit down and take a good look at it? Okay?
Okay. But I\'m still dying to say, Oh, no, no, you\'re upset, right? This isn\'t coming from him.
Not coming from you. Coming from your programming. Oh, I see.
All of a sudden, all of a sudden, there\'s perspective. There\'s distance. There\'s understanding.
There\'s love, at last. And oh, that could be quite hard. You can be quite hard. Love can be quite hard. But love is fair. Love is just.

 Love sees. Love is not prejudiced. Okay, so much for human relations.
A word about control. A big lie that we were told when we were kids is the following. You need to be loved.
Well, when you\'re a kid, yes, granted. Okay? Let\'s not quarrel about that.
But you mean, you\'re 64 years old and you\'re still a kid? You\'re 25 years old and you\'re still a kid? You\'re 18 years old and you\'re still a kid?
And you know what they\'re telling you? You need to be loved. You need to be a success. You need to be approved. You need to be appreciated. You need to be affirmed.
You need... Rubbish! And everybody\'s believing this.
I\'ll tell you what you need. There\'s only one need. And believe me, this is coming.
Well, all right, you could say I\'m wrong. Fine. This comes from many years, many years of lots of reflection.
There\'s only one need. There\'s only one emotional need. And that is to love. To love. No other. No other.
You mean I don\'t need to be loved? Wait a minute. May I know what you\'re talking about when you say to be loved?
Are you talking of to be desired? I\'m going to pause here. Is that what you\'re talking about?
You need to be desired? That\'s what everybody\'s talking about. No one seems to desire me.
You want to be desired. And you want all the consequences of that with all the control and the manipulation, etc.? Is that what you\'re talking about?
You need to be appreciated. Good. Watch this one.
I\'m going to dramatize it for you. Maybe bring a little more action into this. You know, I meet...
It\'s amazing. Once you begin to understand yourself, you begin to understand people, and sometimes it\'s amusing. You\'re thinking, here comes old so-and-so.
Watch how I\'m going to make him happy, okay? Hey, Tom, you look great this morning. My God, you look 20 years younger.

 Tom\'s so happy. That was a great sermon you gave, you know? He\'s thrilled.
You could twirl them around your little finger. Maybe you\'ve done it. You could do anything with these human monkeys.
Just tell them you like them, and tell them something good about them. They\'re thrilled.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Rediscovery of Life Part 010
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 17:37)
Be they love you what they call love of course, monkey love, you know what that love is? Watch, you be good to me, I\'ll be good to you, okay? You give me what I want, I\'ll like you, okay?
You don\'t give me what I want, I dislike you, okay? This is supposed to be love if you please, this is what I call a good bargain. You find this in the marketplace on Wall Street, huh?
Supposed to be love and nobody\'s telling us this, nobody\'s analyzing this for us, at least very few, I never heard anybody saying, hey, what you\'re calling love is a bargain, it\'s an exchange, it\'s a barter, it\'s a business deal. I\'m reading books on marriage written by all kinds of religious people, they don\'t seem to have the slightest notion of this. You be nice to me, I\'ll be nice to you.
You\'re not nice to me, you betray me, you\'re disloyal to me, you\'re unfaithful to me, naturally I\'m angry with you and I\'m upset and everybody\'s saying, right, naturally, naturally, you call that love? So, here comes the computer, press the button, the red button, he goes up, oh, he\'s so happy, you praised him. Criticize him, press the blue button, criticize him, bang, he\'s on the floor.
You like to be that way? You got books on psychology, you know, written by the most prestigious psychologists in the world telling you that that\'s the way to be. When they tell you you\'re okay, naturally, naturally, you\'re supposed to feel great and when they tell you you\'re not okay, naturally, you\'re supposed to feel down.
What do you know? This is supposed to be human, natural. I call it being a machine.
You know the way, I read a story the other day of a woman who says to her teenage son, she says, what do you like, what does Mary find in you? What does she like in you? He says, what Mary likes in me is, A, that I\'m handsome, B, that I\'m intelligent, and C, that I\'m great company.
And his mother says, and what do you like in Mary? He says, what I like in Mary is that she finds me A, intelligent, B, you know, quality number one that I like in you is that you like me. How\'s that now, huh?
They\'re so stupid, believe me, if you just tell them you like them, they\'ll like you. That\'s how stupid they are. Computers, machines, mechanical reactions.
Why don\'t you buy your newspaper somewhere else? Look how rude he is to you. Why should he decide where I buy my newspaper?

 Why should his behavior decide what I do with my life? Isn\'t that beautiful? But as for you, you must be like your heavenly father, all loving and all compassionate, for he makes his sun to shine on good and bad alike.
What do you know? And on saints, makes his rain to fall on saints and sinners alike. If you only greet those who greet you, you\'re a monkey like the rest.
You\'re a computer and mechanical. If you only like those who like you, it was right there. How come we didn\'t find it out?
Remember what I told you this morning? It was staring me in the face and I hadn\'t seen it. Take a little child, six months old, and inject heroin, any drug into the body of this child, okay?
And you keep injecting the drug into this child. And after a while, the whole body of the child is craving for the drug, craving desperately for the drug. See, it hasn\'t been brought up on good, healthy nutrition.
It\'s been brought up on the drug. And so when you deprive the child of the drug, the poor child goes through the agonies of death, the body of the child. Okay, ready for a surprise?
That\'s what happened to you and me, to all of us. They drugged us. When we were kids, they didn\'t bring us up on the healthy, wholesome nourishment of play and work and beauty and the pleasures of the senses.
And as we grew older, the pleasures of the mind. Oh no, oh no. They gave us a taste for a drug called approval, a drug called success, a drug called making it to the top, achieving, affirmation, triumph, victory.
They gave us power, reputation, fame, prestige. They gave us this drug. And you know something?
We began to feel good. It was kind of a giddy feeling, a great feeling when they were applauding us. And we started thinking, well, it was great to be famous.
It was great to be successful. It was great to be made much of. It was great to be popular.
Result, as we began to grow, they could control us any way they liked, you know. All you have to do is with withhold the drug. Boy, if you haven\'t gone through this, I salute you.
They don\'t approve of you, how uneasy you feel, how restless. They criticize you. They\'re not affirming you.
Withdrawal symptoms. You\'re crawling back for reassurance. And your psychologists are

 writing books telling you, this is the way to be.
This is the way to be. More of the drug, more control. Now, you know, as a result of doing this, you\'ve lost your ability to love.
Because when you need someone, you cannot love that person. Do you know why? Because you can\'t see that person anymore.
When a politician needs votes, he stops seeing people. When a business woman or a businessman becomes crazy over money, they stop seeing people. When I want something out of you, I\'m not seeing you.
I want to get something out of you. And do you know, my dears, it\'s so bad that 24 hours of the day, consciously or unconsciously, we want something from the people around us. We want their approval.
We dread their disapproval. We\'re scared they\'ll reject us. We\'re scared of what they think of us.
How could you love people like this, when you\'re so dependent on them emotionally? Oh, we\'ve got to depend on one another. They\'ll tell you grandly, of course, we\'ve got to depend on one another.
That\'s how society is built up. We share the labor. We share our charisms.
That\'s marvelous. I have nothing against that kind of dependence. The evil is to depend on another for your happiness.
To depend on another for learning, for technicians or technical skill, for food. That\'s fine. That\'s fine.
For cooperation in the work, that\'s wonderful. To depend on another for your happiness. That\'s evil.
Now you cannot love. Give it a thought later, when you have time and leisure, until you stop depending on others, till you die to the need for people. When you first get in touch with this, you know, it\'s terrifying because you suddenly become alone.
Not lonely, alone. It\'s a strange feeling. You suddenly understand what you\'ve been all along, but you never saw it.
And you suddenly realize how lovely it is to be alone, not to need others emotionally. And for the first time you understand that you can love people. You don\'t need to bribe them.
You don\'t need to manipulate them. You don\'t need to impress them. You don\'t need to

 placate them.
At last you can love. And for the first time in your life, you are incapable of loneliness. Cannot be lonely anymore.
You know what loneliness means? It means a desperate need for people, to the point that you\'re unhappy without people. Loneliness is not cured by human company.
Loneliness is cured by contact with reality, by understanding that we don\'t need people. We don\'t need them. At last you can enjoy them, because you don\'t need them.
There\'s no tension. You know what it means to be with people and to have no tension? Because you don\'t give a damn whether they like you or they don\'t like you, what they think of you.
You know what that means? Oh, what a freedom! What a joy!
They could think what they want. They could say what they want. That\'s all right.
You\'re not affected. You got the drug out of your system. And oh yes, you\'re still in the world, but you\'re no longer off it.
They can\'t control you anymore. And all of a sudden, you have nowhere to rest your head. The foxes have holes.
The birds of the air have their nests. But you\'re not resting your head anywhere. You don\'t need to, because you don\'t cling anymore.
That\'s when love begins. Well, I\'ve given you so much to meditate on. It\'s quite a wrap- up, huh?
Yes, I got carried away. I\'ll end with a little parable, which if I had to choose one of the thousands of stories I know, I would choose, well, I would call my favorite story. And we\'ll end with that.
Too bad that I cannot get any more feedback from you and we cannot take those calls, but well, there\'s a limit to everything. Hope to see some of you at least in the summer. In the longer courses that I have, I have time to develop these a little more systematically and a little more calmly and stuff.
Well, the parable. A group of tourists sitting in a bus. They\'re passing through the most gorgeous countryside.
The drapes are drawn in the bus. Nobody sees a thing. And what do you think the people inside are doing?
They\'re fast asleep. Some of them. And others are obsessed with who\'s the best dressed

 woman in the bus.
Who\'s the guy who\'s sitting in the most respectable place in the bus? And they\'re quarreling about this. And so it goes on to journey\'s end.
And none of them have seen anything of this gorgeous countryside. What do you think most people are spending their lives on? On impressing others.
That\'s what. And making sure they\'re not criticized. And getting affirmation.
I wonder how many human beings there are who 24 hours of the day, consciously or unconsciously, are not obsessed with this. I wonder. Very few.
Consequence. Result. Very few people live.
Talk about the rediscovery of life. You\'ll never rediscover life till you understand this falsehood. Which our culture, our society, I\'m sorry to say to some extent even many of the world religions are perpetrating.
They\'re the enemies of life. And here comes the story. There was a lion who was, who grew up in a flock of sheep and had no consciousness that he was a lion.
What do you know? He didn\'t know he was a lion. And one day, you know, he would bleat like a sheep.
He\'d eat grass like a sheep. And one day they were wandering at the edge of a big jungle when a mighty big lion let out a roar and he leaped out of the forest and right into the middle of the flock. And all the sheep scattered and ran away.
And imagine the surprise of the jungle lion when he saw this lion there among the sheep. So he gave chase. He got hold of him.
And there was this lion cringing in front of the king of the jungle. And the lion said to him, what are you doing here? And the guy said, sorry, have mercy on me.
Don\'t eat me. Have mercy on me. But the king of the forest dragged him with him. Come on with me. He took him to a lake. And he said, look.
So the lion who thought he was a sheep looked. And for the first time, he saw his reflection. He saw his image.
Then he looked at the other lion. And he looked in again. And he let out a mighty roar.
He was never a sheep again. Took one minute. Well, my dears, maybe in the course of all my talking, one or other of you will have looked and seen through all this network of lies and conditionings and programming that we\'ve been subjected to and has had some

 inkling into who they are.
Well, then this day will have been worthwhile. I certainly thank all of you for coming here. It really has been a joy to talk to you people.
And maybe someday, somewhere we\'ll meet again. Thank you. you

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 000
[Speaker 2] (0:01 - 2:41)
This series of conferences was recorded live during a prayer workshop given by Father Anthony de Mello in 1986 at Fordham University in New York. This was only one year before his sudden death on June 2nd, 1987. Until that time, Father de Mello was the director of the Sadhana Institute of Pastoral Counseling near Pune, India.
Since 1979, he had become internationally recognized for his best-selling books and guided prayer cassettes. Sadhana, A Way to God, Wellsprings, A Song of the Bird, One- Minute Wisdom, and Taking Flight. Many people consider these books and tapes the best sources available today for Christians on how to pray, meditate, and contemplate.
Anyone who has attended one of Father de Mello\'s conferences knows that he never allowed his talks to be tape-recorded. This series was an exception. All the talks were videotaped by a professional television company.
However, due to technical difficulties, the video portion of the tapes did not turn out to be of adequate quality for commercial duplication. Fortunately, the audio portion, for the most part, was able to be used. Most of the flaws on these audio recordings have been eliminated by careful editing, but there was some background noise coming from one of the videotapes which could not be completely edited out.
Nevertheless, all the tapes are clearly audible and perfectly intelligible, and most of them are of excellent voice quality. It was always the aim of Father de Mello simply to teach people how to pray, how to wake up and live. You are not fully alive if you\'re asleep, he would say.
You have to open your eyes to see what\'s around you. You have to wake up to be aware of what\'s going on inside you. For him, being awake meant to be aware, to be aware of yourself and of the world around you.
Open your eyes and see what is real inside and outside you. Wake up and live. On these cassettes, you\'ll hear Tony de Mello at his best, just being himself in front of a live audience.
Challenging, cajoling, charming, completely spontaneous. It is a great blessing that at least one conference of this superbly gifted and eloquent speaker has been preserved for posterity.
[Speaker 1] (2:42 - 11:35)
Spirituality means waking up. Most people, even though they don\'t know it, are asleep. They\'re born asleep, they live asleep, they marry in their sleep, they breed children in

 their sleep, and they die in their sleep without ever waking up.
They never understand the loveliness and the beauty of this thing that we call human existence. You know, all mystics, Catholic, Christian, non-christian, they\'re all unanimous, no matter what their theology, no matter what their religion, they\'re all unanimous on one thing, and that one thing is all is well. All is well.
Everything\'s in a mess, and all is well. Strange paradox, but tragically most people never get to see that. They never get to see that all is well, because they\'re asleep.
They\'re in a nightmare. You know, talking about sleeping reminds me, last year on Spanish television, I saw a nice little story. There\'s this elderly gentleman who knocks at the door of his son, who\'s fast asleep.
He says, Jaime, wake up. And Jaime says, I don\'t want to get up, papa. And the old man says, get up, you\'ve got to go to school.
And Jaime says, I don\'t want to go to school. Why not, says the old man, because first, it\'s so dull. Second, the kids all tease me.
And third, I hate school. So the old man says, I\'m going to give you three reasons why you must go to school. First, because it is your duty.
Second, because you\'re 45 years old. And third, because you\'re the headmaster. Wake up, wake up.
You\'ve grown up. You\'re too big to be asleep. Wake up.
Stop playing with your toys. Most people tell you that they want to get out of kindergarten, but don\'t believe them. Don\'t believe them.
All they want for you to do is to mend their broken toys. Give me back my wife. Give me back my job.
Give me back my money. Give me back my reputation, my success. This is what they want.
They want their toys repaired. That\'s all. Now, even the best psychologists will tell you that.
They\'ll tell you, people don\'t really want to be cured. What they want is relief. A cure is painful.
Waking up is unpleasant, you know. You\'re nice and comfortable in bed. And at least as long as you\'re asleep, it\'s irritating to be woken up.
That\'s the reason why I told you the wise guru will not attempt to wake people up. I hope

 I\'m going to be wise these days and make no attempt whatsoever to wake you up if you\'re asleep. None of my business.
My business is to do my thing, to dance my dance. If you profit from it, fine. If you don\'t, too bad.
As the Arabs say, the nature of the rain is the same, but it grows thorns in the marshes and flowers in the garden. Do you think I\'m going to help anybody? Oh, no, no, no, no.
I don\'t expect to be able to be of help to anyone. And I don\'t expect to do damage to anyone. If you\'re damaged, you did it.
And if you\'re helped, you did it. You really did. We\'ll come to that later when I challenge your beliefs.
You think people help you. They don\'t. You think people support you.
They don\'t. I had an interesting example of a woman in a therapy group. She was a sister.
She was a religious and she said to me, you know, I don\'t feel supported by my superiors. Listen to this one now. And I said, what do you mean by that?
And she said, well, look at my superior, the provincial superior. She never shows up at this Navishat where I am. She never shows up, never says a word of appreciation.
So I said to her, all right, let\'s do this. I know your provincial superior. Let\'s do a little role playing.
I know exactly what she thinks about you. How would that be? And she said, fine.
All right. So I said, you know, Mary, acting the part of the provincial superior now, I said, you know, Mary, the reason why I don\'t come to that place you\'re in is that\'s the one place in the province that\'s trouble free. No problems.
I know you\'re in charge. So all is well. How do you feel now?
And Mary said, I feel great. I said, all right. Now, would you leave the room for a minute or two?
This is part of the exercise. So she did. Now, when she was away, I said to the group, I\'m still sister Mary Jane, the provincial.
OK, Mary out there is the worst novice director we\'ve had in the whole history of the province. In fact, I don\'t go to the Navishat because I can\'t bear to see what she\'s up to. Oh, it\'s awful.

 And if I tell her the truth, she\'s only going to make those novices suffer all the more. We\'re getting somebody to take a place within a year or two. We\'re training someone.
So in the meantime, I sort of say these nice words to her and keep her going. What do you think of that? They said, well, it\'s the only thing you can do.
All right. Come on in, Mary. So Mary comes in.
How do you feel? She says, I feel great. You feel supported by your superior?
Yeah, I feel supported. Question. Who was supporting Mary?
God, she says. Poor God, why did she drag him in now? That\'s good.
That\'s good. That\'s right. All right.
So poor Mary. There it was. She thought she was being supported.
You think you\'re in love with somebody? Well, I got news for you. You\'re never in love with anyone.
You\'re only in love with your prejudiced and hopeful idea of that person. Want a minute to think about that? You\'re never in love with anyone.
You\'re in love with your prejudiced idea of that person, with your hopeful idea of that person. Are you really in love with the person? Well, how come you fell out of love?
Your idea changed, didn\'t it? How could you have let me down when I trusted you so much? Did you really trust me?
You never trust anyone. Come off it. That\'s part of the brain.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 001
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 4:03)
Watching of your society and mine We never trust anyone. You\'re only trusting your judgment about that person. So what are you complaining about?
You don\'t like to say My judgment was lousy. That\'s not very flattering to you. Is it so you prefer to say?
How could you have let me down? So there it is. People don\'t really want to grow up People don\'t really want to change People don\'t really want To be happy As someone has said so wisely Don\'t try to make them happy You\'d only get into trouble Like the guy who gets into a bar Sits down and And he sees this fellow with a banana in his ear a banana in his ear and he says I Wonder if I should tell him that And he thought none of my business And he thought maybe I ought to tell him so after you\'ve had a drink or two he says, excuse me You got a banana in your ear So the guy said what He says you got a banana in your ear over that You got a banana in your ear.
He said talk louder. I got a banana in my ear It\'s useless give up give up and give up Say your thing and get out of here. And if they profit that\'s fine.
And if they don\'t too bad So now the first thing I want you to understand if you really want to wake up Is that you don\'t want to wake up? The first step to Understanding or to waking up is to be honest enough to admit to yourself that you don\'t like it You don\'t want to be happy you want a little test Let\'s try it. It\'ll take you exactly one minute You could close your eyes while you\'re doing this little exercise.
You could keep it. Keep your eyes open Doesn\'t really matter but listen to this think of someone you so called love very much Someone you\'re close to someone who is precious to you and Say I\'d rather have happiness than have you See what happens. I\'d rather be happy Than have you If I had a choice No question about it.
I choose happiness How many people felt selfish when they said this would you raise your hands? Isn\'t that wonderful see how we\'ve been brainwashed See how we\'ve been brainwashed into thinking. How could you be so selfish?
Look who\'s being selfish Just imagine somebody says How could you be so selfish that you choose happiness over me? Who\'s being selfish now? How could you be so selfish that you would demand that I choose you above my happiness
[Speaker 2] (4:05 - 4:25)
When I was a child in the 8th grade, a Jesuit cousin of my mother gave the Traore at the Jesuit church in Milwaukee And he opened each of the conferences with this word For the

 test of love is sacrifice And the gain of love is unselfishness So I think you should love someone
[Speaker 1] (4:25 - 4:51)
That\'s marvelous She speaks about a Jesuit who says The test of love Is sacrifice And the gauge of love Is Selflessness Unselfishness But now tell me Would you want me to love you At the cost of my happiness
[Speaker 3] (4:52 - 5:02)
Yes She said yes Isn\'t that delightful You\'re great, you\'re tremendous You\'re tremendous [Speaker 1] (5:10 - 5:11)
Now, what\'s your name?
[Speaker 4] (5:12 - 5:12)
Claire
[Speaker 1] (5:12 - 5:25)
Okay Claire Now wouldn\'t that be wonderful That you would love me at the cost of your happiness And I would love you at the cost of my happiness And you got two unhappy people But long live love
[Speaker 2] (5:28 - 5:30)
I think it would make me happy [Speaker 1] (5:31 - 11:34)
But you\'re not sure You\'re not sure You\'re tremendous You\'re tremendous And as for selflessness My, we\'ll come to that Let\'s wait till we talk explicitly about love, shall we We\'ll talk about that What does it mean to be selfless really Are we ever really selfless Is there a single action we do That isn\'t tinged Right through With selfishness Self-seeking Oh we\'ll come to that when we talk about love We\'ll have to be patient What was I saying We were saying We don\'t want To be happy We want other things Or let\'s put it more accurately We don\'t want to be unconditionally happy I\'m ready to be happy provided I have this and that and the other And you know what we\'re really saying We\'re saying you are my happiness To our friend Or to our God Or to anything You are my happiness If I don\'t get you I refuse to be happy And it\'s so important To understand that Yes Give me your name Jenny Yes Jenny Alright That\'s pretty well put Wouldn\'t it rather be That we cannot imagine being happy Without all those things That\'s pretty accurate Jenny Yes And that\'s the reason why we don\'t want it Because we cannot conceive Of the

 fact That we would be happy Without all of those things We\'ve placed our happiness We\'ve been taught To place our happiness In all of those things So that\'s the first thing we need to do If we want to come awake Which is the same thing as saying If we want to love If we want freedom If we want joy and peace And spirituality In that sense Spirituality Is the most practical thing In the whole wide world I challenge anyone To think of anything more practical Than spirituality as I have defined it Not piety Not devotion Not religion Not worship Spirituality Waking up Wake up Look at the heartache everywhere Look at the loneliness Look at the fear The confusions The conflicts In the hearts of people Inner conflict Outer conflict Suppose somebody gave you a way Of getting rid of all of that Suppose somebody gave you a way Of stopping that tremendous Drainage of energy Of health Of the emotions That come from these conflicts and confusions Would you want that? Suppose somebody showed us a way Where we would truly love one another And be at peace at last Can you think of anything more practical than that? But here you have people thinking That big business is more practical Or politics is more practical Or science is more practical What\'s the earthly use The earthly use Of putting a man in the moon When we cannot live on the earth?
Is psychology more practical? Nothing is so practical as this What can the poor psychologist do? He can only relieve the pressure I\'m a psychologist myself And I practice psychotherapy But you know I have this great conflict within me When I have to choose sometimes Between psychology and spirituality I wonder if that makes sense to anybody here It didn\'t for many years Alright I\'ll explain that I\'ll explain that You know it didn\'t make sense to me for many years Until I suddenly discovered That people have to suffer enough emotionally Before they\'re ready to wake up And what I was doing as a psychotherapist was Easing the suffering People have to suffer enough in a relationship That they\'d get disillusioned With all relationships Isn\'t that a terrible thing to say? They\'ve got to suffer enough in a relationship Before they wake up and say I\'m sick of it There must be another way of living Than depending on another human being And what was I doing as a psychotherapist They were coming to me with their

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 002
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 11:33)
...relationship problems, with their communication problems, etc. And sometimes that was a help, and sometimes I\'m sorry to say it wasn\'t, because it kept them asleep. Maybe they should suffer a little more.
Maybe they ought to touch rock bottom before they say, I\'m sick of it all. It\'s only when you\'re sick of your sickness that you\'ll get out of it. Most people, well, they go to a psychiatrist or a psychologist to get relief.
To get relief. You know the story of little Johnny who was mentally... They said he was mentally retarded, the poor kid.
But he evidently wasn\'t, as you\'ll learn from this story I\'m going to tell you, because he goes to modeling class in the school for special children, and he gets plasticine, and he\'s modeling it. He takes his little lump of plasticine and goes to a corner of the room, and he\'s playing with it. So the teacher goes up to him and says, Hi, Johnny.
Johnny says, Hi. And she says, What\'s that you got in your hand? He says, This is a lump of cow dung.
She says, What are you making out of it? He says, I\'m making a teacher. So the teacher thought, Little Johnny has regressed.
She saw the principal passing by in the corridor, and she said, Johnny\'s regressed. So the principal goes up to him and says, Hi, son. And Johnny says, Hi.
He says, What have you got in your hand? He says, A lump of cow dung. She says, What are you making out of it?
And he says, A principal. Well, the principal said, This is a case for the school psychologist. Sent for the psychologist.
The psychologist was a clever guy. He goes up. He says, Hi.
Johnny says, Hi. He says, I know what you got in your hand. What?
A lump of cow dung. He says, Right. And I know what you\'re making out of it.
What? You\'re making a psychologist. No, not enough cow dung.
That\'s difficult. For sleeping people, Jesus proclaimed the good news. He was rejected. Not because it was good. He was rejected because it was new. We hate the new.

 We hate it. And the sooner we face up to that fact, the better. We don\'t want new things.
Particularly when they\'re disturbing. Particularly if they involve change. Particularly if it involves saying, I was wrong.
I remember meeting an 87-year-old Jesuit in Spain. Had been my professor and rector in India. Oh, 30 years ago.
And he attended a workshop like this. He said to me, I should have heard you about 60 years ago. You know something?
I\'ve been wrong all my life. God, to listen to that is like looking at one of the wonders of the world. That, ladies and gentlemen, is faith.
An openness to the truth. No matter what the consequences. No matter where it comes from.
No matter where it leads you. You don\'t even know where it\'s leading you. That\'s faith. Not belief. Faith. Your beliefs give you a lot of security, don\'t they?
Faith is insecurity. You don\'t know. You\'re ready to follow.
And you\'re open. You\'re wide open. You\'re ready to listen.
And mind you, being open does not mean being gullible. It doesn\'t mean swallowing whatever the speaker is saying. Oh no, no, no.
You\'ve got to challenge everything I\'m saying. But challenge it from an attitude of openness. Openness.
And challenge it all. Those lovely words of Buddha, when he said, Monks and scholars must listen to my words. Not out of respect.
But they must analyze them. The way the goldsmith analyzes gold. By cutting. Rubbing. Melting. Testing.
Listening. Monks and scholars must not accept my words out of respect. But they must analyze them the way a goldsmith analyzes gold.
Rubbing. Cutting. Melting.
That\'s the way to do it. Challenging. Testing.
Listening. Then you\'re listening. Then you\'ve taken another major step towards awakening.

 The first step I said was a readiness to admit that you don\'t want to wake up. You don\'t want to be happy. There are all kinds of resistances within you to that.
The second step. A readiness to understand. To listen.
To challenge your whole belief system. Not just your religious beliefs. Your political beliefs.
Your social beliefs. Your psychological beliefs. All of them.
A readiness to reappraise them all. And I\'ll give you plenty of opportunity to do that here. Let\'s try a little discussion so that you know you\'re just not subjected to a full hour of listening to a lecture.
Let me give you an example of what I mean when I tell you you must be ready to examine your belief system. How about this? What you call charity.
What people ordinarily call charity. Is it self-interest? Masquerading under the form of altruism?
You mean all charity? Yes sir or madam as the case may be. Like that Chinese student who was learning English and they said to him, would you like a cup of tea?
And he said, yes sir or madam as the case may be. So, yes sir. Even your most selfless acts are really selfishness masquerading under the form of altruism.
How about you discussing that for two or three minutes with somebody next to you? Then I\'ll tell you what I think about it. This is the end of the first tape.
There are times when psychotherapy is a tremendous help because you know when you come to that point where you\'re about to get insane, raving mad, you\'re about to become either a psychotic or a mystic. Because that\'s what the mystic is. You know one sign that you\'ve woken up?
You\'re asking yourself, am I crazy or are all of them? Really is. Because they\'re crazy.
The whole world is crazy. They\'re living on crazy ideas about love, about relationships, about happiness, about joy, about everything. They\'re crazy.
To the point that I\'ve come to believe that if everybody is saying something, you can be sure it\'s wrong. Sure. Every new idea, every great idea, when it first began, was in a minority of one.
That guy called Jesus Christ, minority of one. Everybody was saying something different. Buddha, minority of one.
Everyone was saying something different. In fact it\'s even worse. I think it was Bertrand

 Russell who said, every great idea starts out as a blasphemy.
That\'s well and accurately put. You\'re going to hear lots of blasphemies during these days. He hath blasphemed.
Because they\'re crazy. They\'re lunatics. And the sooner you see this, the better for your mental and spiritual health.
Don\'t trust them. Don\'t trust your best friends. Get disillusioned with your best friends.
They\'re very clever. As you are when you\'re dealing with everybody. Though you probably don\'t know it.
Oh, you\'re so wily and subtle and clever. You\'re putting on a great act. I\'m not being very complimentary, am I?
But you want to wake up. You\'re putting on a great act, aren\'t you? And you don\'t even know it.
You think you\'re being so loving. Ha ha. Whom are you loving?
Even when you go in for self-sacrifice, as Claire was telling us a little while ago. Gives you a good feeling, doesn\'t it? Me, I\'m sacrificing myself.
I\'m living up to my ideal. Boy, you\'re getting something out of it, aren\'t you? You\'re always getting something out of everything you do.
Until you wake up.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 003
[Speaker 1] (0:03 - 7:41)
So there it is. Step one. Realize that you don\'t want to wake up.
It\'s pretty difficult to wake up. When you have been hypnotized into thinking, as I said to you before, that a scrap of old newspaper is a check for a million dollars, you\'re hypnotized. How difficult it is to tear yourself away from that scrap of newspaper.
That\'s when renunciation comes in. Anytime you\'re practicing renunciation, you\'re deluded. How about that now?
You\'re deluded. What are you renouncing? Anytime you renounce something, you\'re tied forever to the thing you renounce.
There\'s a guru in India. He says, every time a dude comes to me, she\'s talking about nothing but God. She says, I\'m sick of this life I\'m living.
I want God. He says, every time a priest comes to me, he\'s talking about nothing but sex. He\'s full of sex.
Like the American tourist, they tell me, who\'s shown the Eiffel Tower in Paris. And he sighs. He says, it\'s beautiful.
Reminds me of sex. After a while, the guide was intrigued. Said, excuse me, sir.
Why did the Eiffel Tower remind you of sex? He said, everything reminds me of sex. Tied to it forever.
As long as you\'re fighting it, A, you\'re giving it power. You give it as much power as you are using to fight it. You must receive your demons.
Because when you fight them, you empower them. But nobody ever told you this. And when you renounce something, you\'re tied to it.
The only way to get out of this is to see through it. Don\'t renounce it. See through it.
Understand it\'s true value. You won\'t need to renounce it. It\'ll just drop.
But of course, if you don\'t see that, if you\'re hypnotized, as I told you, you\'ve been hypnotized into thinking that you won\'t be happy as Jenny there was saying. Into thinking that you won\'t be happy without this or that or the other. So you\'re stuck.
What we need to do for you is not what so-called spirituality is attempting to do. To get you to make sacrifices. To get you to renounce things.

 That\'s useless. You\'re still sleeping. What we need to do for you is to help you to understand.
Understand. Understand. If you understood, you drop it.
Which is another way of saying, if you woke up, you drop it. How does one wake up? Well, I told you, some people, some of us get woken up by the harsh realities of life.
Suffer so much, we wake up. Most people keep bumping again and again into life. But they still go on sleepwalking.
They never wake up. Tragically. It never occurs to them that there may be another way.
Never occurs to them that there may be a better way. Now, if you haven\'t been bumped sufficiently by life, like one woman saying to her husband, what good is a bumper for if you don\'t bump something occasionally with it? It\'s just bumped.
You got to get bumped. So you don\'t get bumped sufficiently by life and you don\'t suffer enough, then there is another way, A, to listen. If you are ready to listen during these days, not to agree with what I\'m saying, that wouldn\'t be listening.
And believe me, it really doesn\'t matter. You\'re going to find this hard to understand, but it really doesn\'t matter whether you agree with what I\'m saying or you don\'t. Because as I shall explain to you later, agreement and disagreement has to do with words and concepts and theories.
It doesn\'t have anything to do with truth. Truth is never expressed in words. Truth is cited suddenly as a result of a certain attitude.
And you could be disagreeing with me and you might cite the truth. But it has to be an attitude of openness, of willingness to discover something new. That\'s important.
Not you\'re agreeing with me or disagreeing with me. After all, most of what I\'m giving you is really theories. No theory adequately covers reality.
Now, all I can tell you is not the truth, but the obstacles to the truth. Those I can describe. I cannot describe the truth.
No one can. All I can give you is a description of your falsehoods, so that you can drop them. All I can do for you is to challenge your beliefs and your belief system that makes you unhappy.
To point out your errors. All I can do for you is help you to unlearn. That\'s what learning is all about.
Where spirituality is concerned, unlearning. Unlearning almost everything you\'ve been

 taught. A willingness to unlearn.
So to listen. Are you listening as most people do? In order to find something that would confirm what they already think?
Observe your reactions as I talk. Frequently you\'ll be startled or shocked or scandalized or irritated or annoyed or frustrated or you\'ll be saying, yay, great, hey. Are you listening for what will confirm what you already think?
Or are you listening in order to discover something new? That\'s important. [Speaker 4] (7:52 - 7:58)
This is the second tape of the New York conference\'s Wake Up to Life by Father Anthony DeMello.
[Speaker 1] (8:00 - 8:59)
Okay, let\'s let\'s simplify it. Let\'s make it as simple as possible. How would this be?
There are two types. Let\'s make it as blunt and extreme as possible to begin with. The two types of selfishness.
The first type is the one where I give myself the pleasure of pleasing myself. That\'s what we generally call self-centeredness. The second one is when I give myself the pleasure of pleasing others.
How would that be? More refined kind of selfishness, huh? [Speaker 4] (9:06 - 9:07)
Yes.
[Speaker 1] (9:07 - 9:21)
Very hidden, that\'s right, and so more dangerous. Because then we get to feel we\'re really great, but maybe we\'re not all that great, but somebody else is protesting, and that\'s great. Go ahead, yes, yes.
[Speaker 3] (9:29 - 9:50)
And I need to be needed, and I also need to be needed in a way that makes me feel like I\'m contributing to the world a little bit. But the other thing is they also need me, though, to do this work, so it\'s kind of like a two-way street.
[Speaker 1] (9:50 - 10:00)
Give me your name. You\'re almost enlightened. We gotta learn from this lady.

 What did you say your name was? [Speaker 4] (10:00 - 10:01)
Julia. Julia.
[Speaker 1] (10:02 - 10:28)
Julia, that\'s right. That\'s right. She\'s saying, I give something, I get something.
I go out to help, I give something, I get something. That\'s beautiful. That\'s true. That\'s real. That isn\'t charity. That\'s enlightened self-interest.
Yes, Joe. Yes, Joe.
[Speaker 2] (10:28 - 11:25)
Tony, I\'d like to have you put two things together. One, the gospel of Jesus is a gospel of ultimate self-interest, the achievement of eternal life, by acts of charity. I\'m blessed of my father when I was hungry, you gave me to eat, and so on.
So therefore the gospel of Jesus is a gospel of ultimate self-interest, achieved through acts of charity. Perfect confirmation of what you said. When we look at Jesus himself, was not the performance of acts of charity by Jesus, act of ultimate self-interest, in other words, to win souls for eternal life, so that isn\'t the whole thrust and meaning of life, the achievement of ultimate self-interest by acts of charity.
[Speaker 1] (11:26 - 11:32)
All right. That\'s a tough one, isn\'t it?

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 004
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 1:51)
Now you see, Joe there\'s cheating a bit because he brought religion into this. But it\'s legitimate, it\'s valid. Now how would it be if I deal with the Gospels, with the Bible, with Jesus at the end, Joe, towards the end of this workshop.
But I will say this much to complicate it even more. You know, I was hungry and you gave me to eat. I was thirsty and you gave me to drink.
When did we do it? We didn\'t know it. Unselfconscious.
So I sometimes have a horrid fantasy where the king is saying, I was hungry and you gave me to eat. And the people on the right say, that\'s right Lord, we know I wasn\'t talking to you. It doesn\'t fit into the script.
You\'re not supposed to have known. Isn\'t that interesting? Ah, that\'s right.
It\'s like, like Julia there, she says, what\'s so great about what I did? I did something, I got something. I had no notion I was doing anything good.
My left hand had no idea what my right hand was doing. You know, a good is never so good as when you have no awareness that you\'re doing good. You are never so good as when you have no consciousness that you\'re good.
Or as the great Sufis would say, a saint is one until he or she knows it. Unselfconscious. Unselfconscious.
[Speaker 4] (1:51 - 2:03)
Can I ask you a question, or I guess it\'s a comment really, on eternal life. Let\'s bring it down away from religion for a minute and say, this pleasure that you receive in giving, isn\'t that eternal life right here now?
[Speaker 1] (2:03 - 2:35)
Oh, I wouldn\'t know. I call pleasure, pleasure. For the time being, till we get into religion.
Maybe for the religionists among you, we get into religion towards the end, okay? But I want you to understand something right at the beginning, that religion is not, repeat, not necessarily connected with spirituality. Does that make sense to you?
Yes. My, you\'re tremendous, you know? You\'re tremendous. [Speaker 2] (2:36 - 2:38)

 I\'m just thinking, please keep religion out of this.
[Speaker 1] (2:38 - 2:44)
All right, I will, for the time being. Somebody had his hand up there. Yes. [Speaker 2] (2:46 - 2:58)
And everything we do has about 6, 7, 10 mixed motives in it. And I think I hear you saying, it would be good if we stand back and try to figure out what some of the less worthy motives are.
[Speaker 1] (2:59 - 3:28)
The less worthy motives. All right, did you hear that? She says, everything we do have about 6, 7, 10 motives to it.
Be good if we step back and saw the less worthy ones. The less worthy ones are awful. And the worthy ones are selfish.
But we\'ll keep that between the two of us, okay? We won\'t tell anyone. We won\'t tell anyone.
Yes.
[Speaker 2] (3:29 - 3:34)
Who jumps on a grenade and falls on it to keep it from exploding. [Speaker 1] (3:34 - 9:34)
All right, how about the soldier who jumps on a grenade and, you know, sort of gets killed to keep it from exploding on others. You read about that guy who got into a truck full of dynamite and drove into the American camp in Beirut a couple of years ago. How about that guy?
Greater love than this, no one has. But Americans don\'t think so. That\'s right, he did it deliberately.
He was terrible, wasn\'t he? But he wouldn\'t think so, I assure you that. He thought he was going to heaven, that\'s right, just like your soldier.
All right, yes. You know, I\'m not excluding an act where there is no self. Where you awake and what you do is done through you.
Your deed becomes a happening. Oh, I\'ll have to explain that as we go along. Let it be done unto me.

 I\'m not excluding that. But when you do it, I\'m searching for the selfishness. Even if it is only I\'ll be remembered as a great hero.
Or I\'d never be able to live if I didn\'t do this. I\'d never be able to live with the thought that I ran away. Remember, I\'m not excluding the other.
Remember, I didn\'t say, did I? That there never is an act where there is no self. Maybe there is.
We\'ll have to explore that. Mother saving her child. Got it?
How come she\'s not saving the neighbor\'s child? Uh-huh, uh-huh. Hers.
A soldier dying for his country. You know, lots of those deaths, pardon me, are the result of brainwashing. Lots of martyrs.
Oh my, I\'m on television, I must remember this, I\'m on a screen. But lots of martyrs. But we got control over all of that, so nobody\'s going to...
We\'re brainwashed. Muslim martyrs, Hindu martyrs, Buddhist martyrs, Christian martyrs, brainwashed. Got an idea in their head.
Gotta die. It\'s a great thing. You gotta do it.
They feel nothing. They go right in. Not all of them.
So you\'d better listen to me properly. I didn\'t say all of them, but I wouldn\'t exclude the possibility. Lots of communists get brainwashed.
Now you\'re ready to believe that one, huh? They\'re brainwashed. They\'re ready to die.
I sometimes say the process that we use for making a Saint Francis Xavier could be exactly the same process used for producing the terrorist. No difference in the process. There needn\'t be.
You could get a man who gets into a 30-day retreat and comes out all aflame with the love of Christ and without the slightest bit of self-awareness. None. He could be one big pain.
Well, I\'m glad to see you filled in the blanks. And quite unaware of it. He thinks he\'s a great Saint.
Without meaning to slander old Francis Xavier, who probably was a great Saint, he was a difficult man to live with, you know. And he was a lousy superior. He really was.
You want to do your historical investigations? Ignatius was always having to step in to undo the harm that this good man was doing in his intolerance. You need to be pretty

 intolerant to achieve that kind of feat.
Go, go, go, go, go. No matter how many corpses fall by the wayside. And some critics of Francis Xavier claim exactly that.
He was dismissing men from our society quite blightly. They\'d appeal to Saint Ignatius who\'d say, come on to Rome, we\'ll talk about it. And he was surreptitiously getting them in again.
How much self-awareness was there? Who are we to judge? We don\'t know.
I\'m only talking about the possibility. Yes. Are you saying there\'s no such thing as pure motivation?
No, I\'m saying that ordinarily everything we do is in our self-interest. Everything. If you do something for the love of Christ, does that help in your self-interest?
Mm-hmm. You\'re doing something for the love of anybody in your self-interest. Oh, we\'ll have to explain that.
Tell me something you did or someone could do for the love of Christ. Does that give you a good feeling? I\'m so happy to hear that.
I really am. I\'ll tell you why.
[Speaker 4] (9:34 - 9:36)
Will you expect it to be a bad feeling? [Speaker 1] (9:36 - 10:19)
Yes, sometimes it does and that\'s the worst kind of charity. Why would it give me a bad feeling? Because there are some people, and thank God you\'re not in their number, who do things so that they won\'t have a bad feeling.
And they call that charity. They\'re guilty. That isn\'t love.
Now, thank God you\'re doing things for people and it\'s pleasurable. Wonderful. You\'re a healthy individual.
Self-interested. Healthily. I disagree about the self-interest. Ah, okay. That\'s all right. But keep an open mind.
Keep an open mind. I\'m just open-minded. All right. [Speaker 4] (10:22 - 10:26)

 Your mind has to be open, too, because I disagree with you and I\'d like to take a chance on you.
[Speaker 1] (10:26 - 10:28)
That\'s wonderful. Oh, that\'s wonderful. [Speaker 2] (10:30 - 10:50)
Tony, when you were talking about St. Francis, I like a quote that I read that he said. It said, nothing is as strong as gentleness and nothing is as gentle as real strength. And then, Harry, you talked about St. Francis. I just said, somewhere in his life, he must have had this conversion or transformation or become awake that he could make that.
[Speaker 1] (10:50 - 10:53)
Do you think everything we say, we practice? [Speaker 3] (10:59 - 11:31)
We were in Germany for seven years after the war. My husband was Chief of Catholic Affairs for the American State Department, if you can imagine how it went. Children were eating out of our garbage pail, you see.
And we did all that we could to take care of it. In fact, my husband said, you\'re taking care of all the German children, but you\'re own our orphans. There was a bit of truth in that.
But the Lutheran minister went into a huddle with his children and they decided not to have Christmas gifts, but to give to the poor. I met a bachelor on the American bus. He had

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 005
[Speaker 2] (0:00 - 0:27)
He had decided to give $50, and then, when I looked at the ships and ships and ships that our country was sending over to feed our enemy, the Germans, I was so darn proud of us that I could have stood up and sung The Star-Spangled Banner. And then, when the Russians started that blockade of Berlin, we fed them by air, and it was a miracle, this thing, and it was a miracle.
[Speaker 1] (0:28 - 11:35)
Claire, I\'m not going to disillusion you. You\'ve got very good ideas about foreign aid. I\'ll leave you with them.
I don\'t know one government in the whole world that is selfless. Not one. Never has been.
You might find individuals, but governments, oh, oh. Let\'s end this and give you a bit of a break. Now, listen.
Let me summarize what I was saying about what we call selfless charity. I said there are two types of selfishness. Maybe I should have said three.
First, when I do something, or rather, when I give myself the pleasure of pleasing me. Second, when I give myself the pleasure of pleasing others. Don\'t take pride in that now.
Don\'t think you\'re a great guy. You\'re a very ordinary guy. But you\'ve got refined taste.
Your taste is good. Not the quality of your spirituality or anything of that sort. You know, when you were a kid, you liked Coca-Cola.
Now you\'ve grown older, and you appreciate chilled beer on a hot day. You\'ve got better taste. When you were a kid, you loved chocolates.
Now you\'re older, you enjoy a symphony. You enjoy a poem. Ah, you\'ve got better tastes.
But you\'re getting your pleasure all the same. Alright. And then you\'ve got the third type, which is the worst.
When you do something so that you won\'t get a bad feeling. Doesn\'t give you a good feeling to do it. Gives you a bad feeling to do it.
You hate it. You\'re making sacrifices. You\'re grumbling.
You\'re complaining. You think we don\'t do things that give us a bad feeling? Ha!

 How little you know of yourself if you think that you don\'t do things. If I had a dollar for every time I did things that gave me a bad feeling, I\'d be a millionaire by now. You know, could I meet you tonight, Father?
Yeah, yeah, come on in. I don\'t want to meet him. I hate meeting him.
I want to watch that TV show tonight. But how do I say no to him? I haven\'t got the guts to say no.
Come on in. And I\'m thinking, oh God, I\'ve got to put up with this pain tonight when I be here. Doesn\'t give me a good feeling.
Doesn\'t give me a good feeling to meet him. It doesn\'t give me a good feeling to say no to him. So I choose the lesser of the two evils.
And I say, okay, come on in. Say, how are you? And somebody said, boy, I\'m going to be happy when this thing gets over so I\'ll be able to take my smile off.
How are you? I\'m wonderful. And so he goes on and on and on.
He says, you know, I love that workshop of yours. I\'m thinking, oh God, have you come to tell me what you could have... And he goes, when is he going to come to the point?
And finally he comes to the point and then I indirectly slam him against the wall. I say, well, any fool could solve that kind of thing, you know, and send him out. Got rid of him.
The next morning at breakfast he says, you know, I\'m guilty already. I was a bit rude. And I go up to him and say, how\'s life?
How\'s life? He says, pretty good. You know, what you said did help me last night. Could I meet you today after lunch? Oh God. Yeah, come on in.
Oh God. Any priest who hasn\'t done this, I\'m ready to canonize him. Only you\'ll have to wait till I become Pope, which I\'m hoping to be someday.
I really am. Yes. See, that\'s the worst kind of charity.
Where you\'re doing things so you won\'t get a bad feeling. You\'re guilty. You\'ve got no guts.
You don\'t have the guts to say, no, I want to be left alone. Sorry. What kind of a priest are you?
Oh, come on in. See the selfishness? I want him to think I\'m a good priest. I don\'t like hurting people. Get off it. I don\'t believe you.

 I don\'t believe anyone who says that he or she does not like hurting people. We love to hurt people. Especially some people.
We love it. And when somebody else is doing the hurting, we rejoice. But we don\'t want to do the hurting because we\'ll get hurt.
Ah, there it is. You\'ll have a bad opinion of me. You won\'t like me. You\'ll talk against me. I don\'t like that. So I don\'t want to hurt you.
My, that\'s a large dose of truth for one morning. All right, I\'ll tell you what. I\'m going to give you a 15 minute break where you can loiter around.
And then we\'ll come back. I have one favor. I\'ll be sitting in that corner out there.
Would you please leave me alone? Life is a banquet. And the tragedy is that most people are starving to death.
See, that\'s what I\'m really talking about. It\'s a nice story of some people on a raft off the course of Brazil who were perishing from thirst and they had no idea that the water they were floating on was fresh water. See, the river was coming out into the sea with such force that it went on for a couple of miles.
They had fresh water right there. They had no idea of it. So it\'s like we\'re surrounded with joy, with happiness, with love.
And most people have no idea whatsoever of this. Reason. They\'re brainwashed.
Reason. They\'re hypnotized. They\'re asleep.
Imagine a stage magician who hypnotizes someone and this person is seeing what isn\'t there and not seeing what is there. That\'s what it\'s all about. Repent and accept the good news.
Repent. Wake up. Not weep for your sins.
What are you going to do weeping for your sins which you committed in the first place because you were asleep anyway? Are you going to cry because of what you did in your hypnotized state? Why do you want to identify with that guy?
Wake up. Wake up. Repent.
Put on a new mind. Take on a new way of looking at things. For the kingdom is here.
It\'s the rare Christian who takes that seriously. Now I said to you the first thing you need to wake up is to face the fact that you don\'t like being woken up. You\'d much rather have all of these things which you were hypnotized into believing are so precious to you,

 so important to you, so important for your life and your survival.
Second, understand. Understand that maybe you got the wrong ideas and it is these ideas that are influencing your life and making it the mess that it is and keeping you asleep. Ideas about love, ideas about freedom, ideas about happiness, etc.
And it isn\'t easy to listen to someone who would challenge those ideas of yours that have come to be so precious to you. You know they\'ve made some interesting studies in brainwashing and they\'ve proved, as I\'ll probably tell you later on if we have the time, that you\'re brainwashed when you take on, when you introject an idea that isn\'t yours, somebody else\'s idea. And the funny thing is that you\'ll be ready to die for it.
Isn\'t that strange? The first test that you\'ve been brainwashed, that you\'ve got introjected convictions and beliefs is that the moment they\'re attacked, you feel stung. You react emotionally.
That\'s a pretty good sign, not infallible, but a pretty good sign that we\'re dealing with brainwashing. And you\'re even ready to die for an idea that never was yours. The terrorist or the saint, so called, takes on an idea, swallows it whole and is ready to die for it.
Not easy to listen, especially when you get emotional about an idea. And even when you don\'t get emotional about it, not easy to listen. Because don\'t forget, you\'re listening from your programming, from your conditioning, from your hypnotic state, and you\'re frequently interpreting everything that\'s being said in terms of your hypnotic state, of your conditioning, of your programming.
Like this girl who\'s listening to a lecture in agriculture and she says, Excuse me, sir. You know, I agree with you completely. Best manure is old horse manure.
But would you tell us how old the horse should be? Look where she\'s coming from. We all have our positions, don\'t we?
And we listen from those positions. Henry! Oh, you\'ve changed!

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 006
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 1:52)
You were so tall, you\'ve grown so short. You were so well built and you\'ve become so thin. You were so fair, you\'ve become dark.
What happened to you, Henry? The guy says, I\'m not Henry. I\'m John.
You changed your name too. How\'d you get this guy to listen, huh? We\'ll talk about it and he was surreptitiously getting them in again.
How much self-awareness was there? Who are we to judge? We don\'t know.
I\'m only talking about the possibility. Yes. Are you saying there\'s no such thing as pure motivation?
We could do something for the love of Christ. Does that help in your self-interest? I\'ll tell you why.
What\'s something you did or someone could do for the love of Christ? Does that give you a good feeling? I\'m so happy to hear that.
I really am. I\'ll tell you why. Yes, sometimes it does and that\'s the worst kind of charity. [Speaker 3] (1:52 - 1:53)
Why?
[Speaker 1] (1:54 - 2:41)
Why would it give you a bad feeling? Because there are some people, and thank God you\'re not in their number, who do things so that they won\'t have a bad feeling. And they call that charity.
They\'re guilty. That isn\'t love. Now, thank God you\'re doing things for people and it\'s pleasurable.
Wonderful. You\'re a healthy individual. Self-interested. Healthily. Oh, okay. That\'s all right.
But keep an open mind. Keep an open mind. All right. That\'s wonderful. Oh, that\'s wonderful.
[Speaker 4] (2:53 - 2:54)

 Okay.
[Speaker 1] (3:02 - 3:06)
Do you think everything we say we practice? [Speaker 4] (3:08 - 3:08)
Yes.
[Speaker 2] (3:12 - 3:43)
We were in Germany for seven years after the war. My husband was Chief of Catholic Affairs for the American State Department, if you can imagine how it went. That children were eating out of our garbage pail, you see.
And we did all that we could to take care of it. In fact, my husband said, you\'re taking care of all the German children, but you\'re on our orphans. There was no truth in that.
But the Lutheran minister went into a huddle with his children, and they decided not to have Christmas gifts, but to give to the poor. I met a bachelor on the American bus.
[Speaker 3] (3:43 - 3:56)
He had this... This is the fourth tape of the New York Conference\'s Wake Up to Life. By Father Anthony DeMello.
[Speaker 1] (3:57 - 11:35)
Isn\'t it interesting how important labels are for us? They\'re so important. I am a Democrat.
I am a Republican. Are you really now? You mean when you switch parties, do you have a new eye?
Or is it the same old eye with new political convictions? Remember hearing about the guy who says to his friend, he says, Hey, Tom, are you planning to vote Democrat in the next election? He says, no, I\'m planning...
Or rather, are you planning to vote Republican? The guy says, no, I\'m planning to vote Democrat. Why?
Because my father was a Democrat. My grandfather was a Democrat. My great- grandfather was a Democrat.
So I\'m voting Democrat. And the other guy says, that\'s crazy logic, Paddy. I mean, now let\'s put it this way.

 If your father was a horse thief, and your grandfather was a horse thief, and your great- grandfather was a horse thief, what would you be? He said, well, then I\'d be a Republican. So labels, labels, labels, labels.
Where does that get you? And we spend so much of our lives, don\'t we, reacting to labels, our own and others. Identifying the label with the eye.
Talking about Catholics and Protestants, do you hear one about the guy who comes in and says, Father, I want you to say a mass for my dog. Father\'s indignant. He\'s outraged.
What do you mean, say a mass for your dog? He says, you know my dog, my pet dog? I love that dog.
I\'d like you to offer a mass for him. Father says, we don\'t offer masses for dogs, for animals here. You may try the denomination lower down the street.
Ask them. They might have a service for you. And the guy, as he\'s moving away, he says, too bad.
I really love that dog. I was planning to offer a million dollars in stipend for that mass. Father said, wait a minute.
You never told me your dog was Catholic. When you\'re caught up in labels, what value do these labels have when applied to eye? That\'s an interesting question.
I\'ll invite you to think about it later, to discuss it. Could we say that eye is none of the labels that we attach to it? That these labels belong to me?
That what is constantly changing is me? Does the observer ever change? Why bother?
The fact is that no matter what labels you can think of, except perhaps human being, you apply them to me. Eye is none of these things. So when you step out of yourself and observe me, when you step out of yourself and no longer observe and sorry, and no longer identify with me, you learn all kinds of interesting things.
For instance, suffering. Suffering exists in me and when you identify with me. Anytime you identify, anytime eye identifies with any thing or person outside of itself, or it identifies with me, suffering begins.
Now comes fear. Now comes desire. Now comes a threat.
The eye begins to feel threatened. When eye does not identify with money or name, or nationality, or persons, or friends, or any quality, the eye is not threatened. It can be very active as I will show you later on, but it isn\'t threatened.
Everybody think of a time or think of some suffering that you have right now. Anything

 that\'s causing you pain, or worry, or anxiety. Think of that.
You may close your eyes if you wish. First, can you pick up the desire under that suffering? There\'s something you desire very keenly or you wouldn\'t be suffering.
What is it? Second, that isn\'t just an ordinary desire. That\'s a craving.
Worse, there\'s an identification there. You have somehow said to yourself, the well-being of eye, almost the existence of eye, is tied up with this desire. See if you can find that.
Let me give you a minute or two to talk about this now. Talk with somebody about this because it\'s important. First, how true

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 007
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 0:42)
What is it that all suffering is caused by my identifying myself with something? Whether that something is within me or outside of me. And when it is outside of me, whether it is a thing or a person.
Talk about it for a couple of minutes, then let\'s see if we can get some reactions from you. How about some reactions?
[Speaker 2] (0:43 - 1:43)
Well, I want to share with you something wonderful that happened to me. I saw your movie, and I was at work shortly after that, and I was really having trouble with three people. And I said, alright, just like I learned in the movie, I\'m going to come outside myself.
And for a couple of hours, I just got all my feelings together about how bad I felt about these three people. And I said, well, I really hate those people. I mean, I was honest, I got it all together.
And I said, well, Jesus, now what can you do about that? And a little while later, I started to cry, because I realized that Jesus died for those people, and that didn\'t help how they were. And that afternoon, I had to go in the office, and I spoke to those people, and I told them why I was right and what my problem was.
And they agreed with me, because I wasn\'t mad at them, and I didn\'t hate them anymore.
[Speaker 1] (1:45 - 2:44)
Okay, that\'s wonderful. We\'ll go a little deeper into that later, shall we? Okay.
About the negative feelings we have towards others. Anytime you have a negative feeling towards anyone, you\'re living in an illusion. There\'s something seriously wrong with you, as you discovered.
You\'re not seeing reality. Something inside of you has to change. But what do we generally do when we have a negative feeling?
We\'re saying, he is to blame. She is to blame. She\'s got to change.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. The world\'s all right. The one who has to change is you. But we\'ll have much more to say about that later. Any other reaction?

 [Speaker 6] (2:45 - 2:45) Yes.
[Speaker 3] (2:46 - 3:12)
I live and work in an institution, and I\'m trying to get what you meant when you said you want to identify with any qualities in me. If we have a staff meeting, and someone says... So, my question is, does that make what you\'re saying?
Otherwise, if you didn\'t take it personally, who\'s to change? [Speaker 1] (3:13 - 3:40)
Oh, yes. Oh, yes. You know, she\'s identified with this, and she\'s saying, anyone who attacks the food is attacking me.
I feel threatened. But I is never threatened. It\'s only me that is threatened.
Yes? I have a question, by the way.
[Speaker 3] (3:40 - 4:15)
Because what you\'re saying is not making it. I have one problem. One, can you harm yourself in correcting this?
Sure. It may not be simply that I feel bad about the situation, but the situation is objectively wrong. How about that kind of thing?
[Speaker 1] (4:16 - 4:27)
Now, did you assume that I was saying that you wouldn\'t do anything? I said, you wouldn\'t have negative feelings.
[Speaker 6] (4:33 - 4:35)
I have a little exercise for you. Think.
[Speaker 1] (4:36 - 6:32)
Think of all the good deeds you\'ve done. Or some of them. Because I\'m only giving you a few seconds, see?
You think you\'d have enough for those? Now, understand that they really sprang from self-interest, whether you knew it or not. Refined tastes, maybe.
What happens to your pride? What happens to your vanity? What happens to that good feeling you gave yourself, that pat on the back, every time you did something that you

 thought was so charitable?
Gets flattened out, doesn\'t it? What happens to that looking down your nose at your neighbor, who you thought was so selfish? Whole thing changes, doesn\'t it?
Well, he\'s got coarser tastes than you. You\'re the more dangerous person. You really are.
Jesus Christ seems to have had less trouble with the other guy than with your type. Much less trouble. He ran into trouble with people who were really convinced they were good, you know.
The other guys didn\'t seem to have given him much trouble at all. The guys who were openly selfish and knew it.
[Speaker 5] (6:38 - 6:43)
Can you see how liberating that is? Hey, wake up! It\'s liberating, it\'s wonderful.
[Speaker 1] (6:45 - 6:46)
Are you feeling depressed, maybe? Are you?
[Speaker 5] (6:49 - 7:02)
Isn\'t it wonderful to realize you\'re no better than anybody else in this world? Isn\'t it wonderful? You\'re disappointed?
Look what we brought to light. Hey! Look what we brought to light. [Speaker 1] (7:03 - 7:17)
What happens to your vanity, huh? You like to give yourself a good feeling, you\'re better than the others. Look how we brought a pharisee to light.
You had something to say?
[Speaker 4] (7:18 - 7:35)
I guess I\'m in some way at this point with my existence to wake up. The problem with understanding. I guess I never thought self-interest in the way you\'re presenting it was in itself a bad thing.
I guess I never equated it with self-interest.
[Speaker 1] (7:36 - 7:46)
Hey, bad comes from you. I didn\'t say it\'s bad. I said it\'s self-interest.

 You added bad.
[Speaker 4] (7:46 - 8:01)
Because self-interest to me, it seems like it comes right out of our instinct of self- preservation, which is our thesis at first. So how could we even want to act for self- interest that would be almost like acting for non-being?
[Speaker 1] (8:01 - 8:07)
Wonderful. You\'re just saying we cannot be selfless. Are you saying that?
[Speaker 4] (8:07 - 8:11)
Well, to me it would seem like it would be the same thing as asking for non-being.
[Speaker 1] (8:11 - 9:39)
Whatever it is. Look, all I\'m saying is stop feeling bad. We\'re all the same.
It\'s wonderful. Somebody had a terrible thing, a terribly beautiful thing to say about Jesus. Though I promised I wouldn\'t get into that, but it\'s too tempting to get into it.
Here, here, it\'s very tempting. He said, he said, the lovely thing about Jesus, and this guy wasn\'t an official Christian. He said the lovely thing about Jesus was that he was so much at home with sinners because he understood that he wasn\'t one bit better than they were.
We differ from others, from criminals, only in what we do or what we don\'t do, but not in what we are. And the only difference between Jesus, I assume, and those sinners was that he was awake. They weren\'t.
You want glory in that? Look at me. I won the lottery.
I\'m so proud to accept this prize. It\'s really a prize, not for me, but for my nation and my society. Does anybody talk like this when he wins the lottery?
[Speaker 5] (9:43 - 9:52)
He was lucky. He was lucky. He won the lottery. First prize. Anything to be proud of in that? [Speaker 1] (9:54 - 11:18)
I woke up. I got enlightened. And you gradually learn there\'s nothing you could do with your good luck, good fortune.

 And if you did anything towards being enlightened, now listen to this. Almost every one of you really wants to wake up. In the interest of whom?
Ha ha! You want the glory in that? Look at me.
I really worked for myself. What\'s there to glory about? Can you see how utterly stupid it is to be vain about your good deeds?
The Pharisee isn\'t an evil man. He\'s a stupid man. He\'s stupid.
He\'s not evil. He\'s stupid. Then stop to think.
Like somebody who said, I dare not stop to think, because if I did, I wouldn\'t know how to get started again. So if you stop to think, you\'d understand there\'s nothing to be very proud of after all. Another thing.
What does this do to your relationship with people? What are you complaining about? He came to complain that his girlfriend had let him down, that she had played false.
[Speaker 5] (11:18 - 11:26)
What are you complaining about? Did you expect any better? Expect the worst. You\'re dealing with selfish people.
[Speaker 1] (11:27 - 11:35)
You\'re the idiot. You glorified her, didn\'t you? You thought she was a princess. You thought people are nasty.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 008
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 7:52)
They\'re not. They\'re not nice. They\'re as bad as you are.
Bad. You understand. They\'re asleep like you.
And what do you think they\'re going to seek? Their own self-interest exactly like you. No difference.
Can you imagine how liberating it is that you\'ll never be disillusioned again? You\'ll never be disappointed again? You\'ll never feel let down again?
Never feel rejected? You want to wake up? You want happiness?
You want freedom? Liberation? Here it is.
Drop your false ideas. See through people. See through yourself.
You will see through everyone. Then you\'ll love them. Otherwise you\'re the whole time grappling with your wrong notions about them.
With your illusions that are constantly crashing against reality. How about taking a couple of minutes to talk about this? You know it\'s probably too brand-new for many of you to talk about how liberating it is to understand that everyone except the very rare awakened person more about that later.
Everyone can be expected to be selfish and to seek their own self-interest whether in course or in refined ways. So there\'s nothing to be disappointed about and there\'s nothing to be disillusioned about. If you had been in touch with reality all along you would never have been disappointed.
But you chose to paint people in glowing colors. You chose not to see through human beings because you chose not to see through yourself and so you\'re paying the price now. Before you discuss this let me tell you a story which I remember just now.
Somebody said what is enlightenment like? What is a awakening like? It\'s like the tramp in London who was settling in for the night.
He\'d barely been able to eat a crust of bread. Then he gets onto this embankment on the River Thames and there\'s a slight drizzle so he huddles in his old tattered cloak and as he\'s about to sleep what you know a Rolls Royce rolls up chauffeur driven and out of that car steps a gorgeously beautiful young lady who says my poor man are you planning to spend the night here on this embankment? And the poor man says yes.

 She says I won\'t have it. You\'re coming to my house and you\'re going to spend a comfortable night and you\'re going to get a good dinner. So she insists on his getting into the car.
They ride out of London, get into a place where she has a sprawling mansion, large grounds. They get in, they\'re ushered in by the butler and she hands this man over to the butler and says James make sure he\'s put in the servants quarter quarters and treated well which is what James does. And when the young lady\'s about to go to bed she\'d undressed and was going to bed she suddenly remembered her guest for the night so she slipped something on and goes over to the servants quarters and pads along the corridor and sees a little chink of light where the man was apparently put up.
So he hadn\'t gone to sleep. She taps lightly at the door and opens it and finds the man awake and she says what\'s the trouble my good man? Did you not get a good meal?
He said never had a better meal in my life lady. Are you warm enough? He says yes, lovely warm bed.
She says maybe you need a little company huh? Why don\'t you move over a bit? And she comes close to him, he moves over and falls right into the Thames.
Ah, you didn\'t expect that one! Enlightenment! Enlightenment!
Wake up! You really did expect that one, huh? See how good you are?
Wake up when you\'re ready to exchange your illusions for reality. When you\'re ready to exchange your dreams for facts. Cold awakening.
But that\'s where you find it all. That\'s where life finally becomes meaningful. Life becomes beautiful.
The famous story, I don\'t remember where I read it, of Ramirez. Ramirez who\'s old and living up there in his castle on top of a hill and he looks out the window. He\'s in bed really and paralyzed.
Looking out the window and he sees his enemy. Old as he himself is, leaning on a cane, climbing up the hill. Slowly, painfully.
Takes him about two and a half hours to get up and there\'s nothing Ramirez can do because the servants have the day off and his enemy walks in, opens the door, comes straight to the bedroom, puts his hand inside his cloak pocket and pulls out a gun and he says, at last Ramirez, we\'re going to settle scores. And Ramirez tries his level best to talk him out of it. He says, come on Borges, you can\'t do that.
You know, I am no longer the man who ill-treated that youngster years ago and you\'re no longer that youngster. Come off it. Oh no, your sweet words aren\'t going to get me off

 this divine mission of mine.
It\'s revenge I want, says Borges and there\'s nothing you can do about it. And Ramirez says, there is. Oh is there?
What? I can wake up. And he did.
He woke up. That\'s what enlightenment is like. There\'s nothing you can do about it, isn\'t there?
Of course there is. What? I can wake up.
All of a sudden, life is no longer the nightmare that it has seemed. Wake up. All right, get on with your exercise.
I\'m going to give you two or three minutes for that. I\'ll repeat it. What does this realization of our inherent quest for self-interest do to your dealings with others?
When you understand this, you find it liberating or you find it depressing? Why don\'t you talk about this for two or three minutes and then we\'ll go on. This is the end of the second tape.
[Speaker 2] (8:01 - 8:07)
This is the third tape of the New York conference\'s Wake Up to Life by Father Anthony DeMello.
[Speaker 1] (8:09 - 8:15)
Somebody came to me with a question. What do you think the question was? Are you enlightened?
[Speaker 2] (8:17 - 8:21)
What do you think the answer was?
[Speaker 1] (8:22 - 11:35)
What does it matter? You want a better answer? How would I know?
How would you know? What does it matter? You know something?
If you want it too badly, you\'re in big trouble. You know something else? If I were enlightened and you listen to me because I was enlightened, you\'re in big trouble.
You\'re ready to be brainwashed by someone who\'s enlightened? You could be brainwashed by anybody, you know. So does it really matter?

 No, it doesn\'t. When you\'re concerned, what does it matter whether someone\'s enlightened or not? But see, we want to lean on someone, don\'t we?
We want to lean on somebody who we think or we judge has arrived. We love to hear to hear that people have arrived. It gives us hope, doesn\'t it?
What do you want hope for? Isn\'t that another form of desire? You want to hope for something better than what you have right now, don\'t you?
Or else you wouldn\'t be hoping. But then you forgot that you\'ve got it all right now and you don\'t know it. Why not concentrate on now instead of hoping for better times in the future?
Why not understand the now instead of forgetting it and hoping for the future? Isn\'t that another trap? All right, I don\'t know what conclusion you arrived at in your discussions and it doesn\'t matter.
Really doesn\'t. You find it liberating? Fine.
You find it depressing? Fine. That\'s all right.
You learn to cope with it. You\'ll have to grapple with this for yourself. It\'s your business.
It\'s your life. The only place someone can be of help to you is in challenging your ideas. Maybe if you\'re ready to listen and you\'re ready to be challenged.
But there\'s one thing the most important of all, and I haven\'t mentioned it as yet, that you could do when no one can help you. What\'s this most important thing of all? It\'s called self-observation.
No one can help you there. No one can give you a method. No one can show you a technique.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 009
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 11:35)
Because the moment you pick up a technique, you\'re programmed again. Self- observation, watching yourself, which is not the same as self-absorption. Self-absorption is self-preoccupation.
You\'re concerned about yourself, you\'re worried about yourself. I\'m talking about self- observation. What\'s that?
It means to watch everything as far as possible in you and around you. As if it were happening to someone else. To watch everything in you and around you as if it were happening to someone else.
What does that last sentence mean? It means that you do not personalize what is happening to you. It means you look at it as if you have no connection with it whatsoever.
The reason you suffer from your depressions and your anxieties is that you identify with them. You\'re saying, I am depressed and that is false. You are not depressed.
If you want to be accurate, you might say, I is experiencing a depression right now. But you could hardly define yourself with the verb to be and say, I am depressed. You are not your depression.
But by a strange kind of trick of the mind, by a strange kind of illusion, you have deluded yourself into thinking, though you\'re not aware of it, that you are your depression, that you are your anxiety, that you are your joy and the thrills that you have. I am delighted. You certainly are not delighted.
Delight is in you right now. But hang around, it will change. Won\'t last.
Never lasts. Keeps changing. It\'s always changing.
Clouds come and clouds go. Some of them are black. Some of them are white.
Some of them are large. Others are small. And if we want to follow the analogy, this isn\'t philosophy now.
This is just an analogy. You are the sky. You\'re observing them all.
You\'re a passive, detached observer. My, that\'s shocking. Particularly in the western culture.
This is shocking. Passive. You\'re not interfering.

 Don\'t interfere. Don\'t fix anything. Watch.
Observe. The trouble with people is, they\'re busy fixing things they don\'t even understand. We\'re always fixing things, aren\'t we?
Never strikes us that things don\'t need to be fixed. They really don\'t. This is the great illumination.
They need to be understood. If you understood them, they\'d change. They really would, if you understood them.
You want to change the world? How about beginning with yourself? How about changing yourself?
How about being transformed yourself first? How do you achieve that? Through observation.
Through understanding. With no interference. With no judgment.
Because what you judge, you cannot understand. My, that\'s a tall order, isn\'t it? He\'s a communist.
Understanding has stopped at that minute. You slapped a label on him. She\'s a capitalist.
Understanding has stopped as of that minute. You slapped a label on her. And if the label carries undertones of approval or disapproval, even worse.
How are you going to understand what you disapprove of? Or what you approve of? For that matter.
Sounds like a new world, doesn\'t it? Well, ready to hear something new? No judgment. No comment. No attitude. One observes.
One studies. One watches. Not even with the desire to change what is.
Because if you desire to change what is into what you think should be, you\'re no longer understanding what is. Example. A dog trainer who\'s attempting to understand a dog so that he can train the dog to perform certain tricks.
The scientist who observes the behavior of ants with no further end in view. He just wants to study ants and to learn as much as possible about them. And he has no further aim.
He\'s not attempting to train them or to get anything out of them. He\'s interested in ants. He wants to learn as much as he can about them.

 That\'s the attitude. The day you attain that, you will experience a miracle. You will change.
Effortlessly. Correctly. Change will happen.
You will not bring it about. As the light of awareness settles upon your darkness, whatever is evil will disappear. Whatever is good will be fostered.
You will have to experience that for yourself. But this calls for a disciplined mind. And when I say disciplined, I\'m not talking about effort.
I\'m talking about something else. Have you ever studied an athlete whose whole life is athletics? What a disciplined life he or she leads.
And look at that river as it moves towards the sea. It creates its own banks, does it not, to contain it. And when there\'s something within you that moves in this direction, it creates its own discipline.
The moment you get bitten by the bug of awareness, oh, that\'s so delightful. The most delightful thing in the world. The most important and the most delightful.
Because there\'s nothing so important in the world as coming awake, nothing. And there\'s nothing so delightful as being aware. Would you rather live in darkness?
Would you rather act and not be aware of your actions? Talk and not be aware of your words? Would you rather listen to people and not be aware of what you\'re hearing?
Or see things and not be aware of what you\'re looking at? The great Socrates who said, the unaware life is not worth living. But a self-evident truth.
But most people don\'t live aware lives. They\'re living mechanical lives. Mechanical thoughts, generally somebody else\'s.
Mechanical emotions. Mechanical actions. Mechanical reactions.
Want to see how mechanical you are? My, that\'s a lovely shirt you\'re wearing, I feel up. For a shirt, for heaven\'s sake.
You feel proud of yourself when you observe that? People come over to my center there in India and they say, what a lovely place your center is situated in. These lovely trees, for which I\'m not responsible at all.
And this lovely climate, and already I\'m feeling good, till I catch myself feeling good. Say, hey, could you imagine anything more stupid than that? I\'m not responsible for those trees.
I wasn\'t even responsible for choosing the location. I didn\'t order the weather. It

 happened.
But it\'s mine. Me got in there, and I\'m feeling good. And I\'m feeling good about my culture.
And my nation. How stupid can you get? I mean that.
And they\'re saying, you know, your great Indian culture, that has produced all these mistakes. I didn\'t produce them. I\'m not responsible for it.
And you know, oh, that country of yours, disgusting. Because of poverty, I\'m feeling ashamed.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 010
[Speaker 1] (0:04 - 7:19)
What\'s going on? Ever stop to think? You know something?
I think you\'re very charming. Oh, I feel wonderful. I got a positive stroke.
That\'s what they call it. I\'m okay, you\'re okay. I\'m going to write a book someday which will be entitled I\'m an Ass, You\'re an Ass.
I really am. I really am. Yes.
Most liberating thing in the world. Wonderful. Most liberating thing in the world.
Can you imagine that? When you\'re openly ready to admit you\'re an ass. It\'s wonderful.
They say, you\'re wrong. I say, what did you expect of an ass? Disarmed.
Everybody disarmed. We\'re coming to that. We\'re coming to that.
The final liberation. I\'m an ass, you\'re an ass. I press a button, you\'re up.
I press another button, you\'re down. You like that? How many people you know who are unaffected by praise or blame?
Totally and completely unaffected. That isn\'t human. What human means, you\'ve got to be a little monkey.
So everybody can twist your tail and you do whatever they think you ought to be doing. Is that human? You mean you find me charming?
You know what that means? It means right now you\'re in a good mood. That\'s what it means.
Generally. It also means that I fit your shopping list. Every one of us carries a shopping list around.
And it\'s like you\'ve got to measure up to this. Tall? Dark? Handsome? According to my tastes. I like the sound of his voice.
I\'m in love. You\'re not in love, silly ass. Anytime you\'re in love, I wonder if I should say this, you\'re being particularly asinine.
You really are. Sit down and watch it. What\'s happening to you?
You\'re running away from yourself? You want a nice good escape? Somebody said, thank

 God for reality and for giving us the means to escape from it.
So that\'s what\'s going on. We\'re so mechanical. We\'re so controlled.
And we write books about being controlled. And how wonderful it is to be controlled. And how necessary to be controlled.
And how necessary that people would tell you that you\'re okay. So that then you\'ll have a good okay feeling about yourself. Etc, etc, etc.
How wonderful it is to be in prison. Or as somebody said yesterday, so rightly, to be in your cage. You like being in prison?
You like being controlled? Because I\'ll tell you something. If you ever let yourself feel good when they tell you that you\'re okay, you\'re preparing yourself to feel bad when they tell you you\'re not.
And secondly, you\'re going to be a monkey for the rest of your life. Because you\'re the whole time going to live up to their expectations. You better watch out what you wear and how you comb your hair and whether your shoes are polished and whether you live up to every D-A-M-N-E D expectation of theirs.
Every one of them. You like that? You call it human?
See? See what I mean? This is what you\'ll discover when you observe yourself.
You\'ll be horrified. Because the fact of the matter is that you\'re neither okay nor not okay. You really are not.
What\'s okay? What\'s not okay? You mean you fit the current mood or trend or fashion so you become okay?
Does your okayness depend on that? Does your okayness depend on what people think of you? Jesus Christ must have been pretty not okay you know by those standards.
So you\'re not okay. You\'re not not okay. You\'re you.
And that I hope is going to be the big discovery. At least some of you. If three of you I think there are about 220 or 30 or whatever.
If three or four of you make this discovery during these four days we\'re going to spend sitting together. My what a wonderful thing. Extraordinary.
Unprecedented. You\'re you. Cut out all the okay stuff and the not okay stuff. Cut out all the judgments and observe. Watch. You\'ll make great discoveries.

 Those discoveries will change you. You won\'t have to make the slightest effort. Believe me.
Here\'s another bombshell. Talking about a bombshell. Reminds me about this guy in London after the war.
He\'s sitting with a large parcel on his lap wrapped in brown paper. Big heavy object. And the bus conductor says to him.
He says what have you got in your lap there? And the man says this is an unexploded bomb. We dug it out of the garden and taking it to the police station.
He says is that an unexploded bomb? The guy says yes. You don\'t want to carry that on your lap.
Put it under the seat. That\'s my story for telling what psychology and spirituality as we generally understand it does for you. You know it transfers the bomb from your lap to under your seat.
It doesn\'t really solve your problems. It doesn\'t. It exchanges your problems for other problems.
Has that ever struck you? You had a problem. Now we exchange it for another one.
And it\'s always going to be that way till we solve the problem called you. You got to solve that. And so all the great mystics and masters I hate to say mistresses.
[Speaker 2] (7:24 - 7:26)
I hate to say mistresses. [Speaker 1] (7:26 - 11:35)
Doesn\'t sound too good does it? Like that duchess who walks into a hospital lobby because her chauffeur was unwell. And she said I\'d like to meet Mr. James. And they said in the lobby are you his wife? She was indignant. She said I\'m his mistress.
She was well that one didn\'t get off the ground did it? You\'re too clean minded that\'s the trouble with you. So till we solve the problem called you we\'re going to get nowhere.
And so these great mystics and masters in the east will say who are you? Want to know the most important question in the world? You think it is who is Jesus Christ?
Wrong. You think it is does God exist? Wrong.
You think it is is there a life after death? Wrong. You know it\'s a funny thing nobody seems to be grappling with the problem of is there a life before death?

 No one. No one. And my experience has been that it\'s precisely the ones who don\'t know what to do with this life who are all bothered about what they\'re going to do with another life.
Really. That\'s one sign that you\'re awakened. You don\'t give a damn what\'s going to happen in the next life.
You\'re not bothered about it. You don\'t care. You just don\'t care. Not interested. Period. Period.
Somebody talked about eternal life a little while ago. The gentleman there. You know what eternal life is?
Whatever that is. You think it\'s everlasting life. But your own theologians will tell you that that\'s crazy.
Because everlasting is still within time. It\'s time perduing forever. You got it all wrong. Eternal means timeless. No time. Whatever that means.
Because the human mind cannot understand that. The human mind can understand time and can deny time. But what timeless means is beyond our comprehension.
Except we have inches, don\'t we? And the mystics tell us that it\'s right now. How\'s that for good news?
It\'s right now. People get so distressed when I tell them forget your past. So proud of your past.
You\'re crazy. Remember? I\'m an ass, you\'re an ass.
You\'re crazy. What are you proud of? You\'re so ashamed of your past.
You\'re crazy. Drop it. But mustn\'t I weep for my sins?
That\'s past. It\'s dead. Drop it.
Get into now. See your great religious distraction from waking up. Weep for your sins. Repent. Wake up. That\'s what repent means.
Wake up. Understand. Understand.
Stop all your crying. Understand. Wake up.
And so the great masters tell us the most important question in the world is who am I? Who am I? What is I?

 We\'ll address ourselves to that question this afternoon at four o\'clock. I\'ll begin with that hopefully. I say hopefully because I never know what I\'m going to say next because it all depends on the mood of the group, etc.
But that\'s so important. What is I? What is this thing I call I? What is this thing I call the self? You mean you understand

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 011
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 3:42)
You understood everything else in the world and you didn\'t understand this? You mean you understood astronomy? And black holes?
And whatever those other things are, quasars or whatever they call them. You understood that and you picked up computer science? And you don\'t know who you are?
My! You\'re still asleep. You\'re a sleeping scientist.
You mean you understood what Jesus Christ is and you don\'t know what you are? How do you know that you have understood? Who\'s this guy?
Who\'s this woman who\'s doing the understanding? Found that out first? That\'s the foundation of everything, isn\'t it?
And it\'s because we haven\'t understood this, that you\'ve got all these stupid religious people who are engaging in all kinds of stupid religious wars, Muslims fighting against Jews, Protestants fighting Catholics, and all the rest of that rubbish. They don\'t know who they are. Because if they did, there wouldn\'t be wars.
Like the little girl who says to the little boy, Are you a Presbyterian? He says, No, we belong to another abomination. So...
So there it goes. It\'s a... Who are you?
We\'ll be dealing with that later, as I said. But what I\'d like to stress right now is self- observation. You\'re listening to me.
Are you picking up any other sounds besides the sound of my voice as you listen to me? Are you aware of your reactions as you listen to me? It\'s extremely important.
Or else you\'re going to be brainwashed. Or else you\'re going to be influenced by forces within you of which you have no awareness at all. And when you\'re aware of how you\'re reacting to me, are you simultaneously aware...
Now that\'s post-graduate work, okay? Okay. Are you aware of where it\'s coming from?
Maybe you\'re not listening to me at all. Maybe your daddy\'s listening to me. You think that\'s possible?
Of course it is. Again and again in my therapy groups, I come across people who aren\'t there at all. Their daddy\'s there.
Their mommy\'s there. They\'re not there. They never were there.

 They really weren\'t. I live now, not I. My daddy lives in me. Really. But that\'s absolutely true. Literally true.
Literally true. I could take you apart and say, now this sentence, does it come from daddy, mommy, grandma, grandpa? From whom?
It might be your grandma and grandpa who are celebrating their wedding anniversary. They\'re old. It\'s the 60th anniversary of their wedding.
And they go through all the celebrations. And they\'re tired. And towards the evening, the two of them are sitting alone in a room.
And grandpa says to grandma, he says, you know, grandma, I\'m proud of you. I really am. She says, what\'s that you said, pa?
You know, I can\'t hear you. You know, I can\'t hear you without my hearing aid. Would you say that louder?
He says, I said, I\'m proud of you. She says, that\'s all right. I\'m tired of you too. [Speaker 2] (3:43 - 3:45)
That\'s all right.
[Speaker 1] (3:48 - 10:52)
Yes. So it\'s like, who\'s living in you? It\'s pretty horrifying when you come to know that.
You think you\'re free. But there\'s probably, there probably isn\'t a gesture, a thought, an emotion, an attitude, a belief in you that isn\'t coming from someone else. Isn\'t that horrible?
And you don\'t know it. Talk about a mechanical life that was stamped into you. And you\'re feeling pretty strongly about certain things.
And you think you are feeling strongly about it. But are you really? It\'s going to take a lot of awareness for you to understand that maybe this thing that you call I is simply an agglomeration of your past experiences and of your conditioning and your programming.
You\'re a human computer. That\'s painful. In fact, when you\'re beginning to awake, you experience a good deal of pain.
It\'s painful to see your illusions being shattered and everything that you thought you had built up crumbling. That\'s painful. That\'s what repentance is all about.
That\'s what waking up is all about. So now, how about this? How about you\'re taking a

 minute right where you are, where you\'re sitting now, to be aware of, even as I talk, of what you\'re feeling in your body and what\'s going on in your mind and what your emotional state is like.
How about being aware of that blackboard if your eyes are open? And the color of the walls? How about being aware of my face?
And the reaction you have to that face of mine, because you have one, whether you\'re aware of it or not, and it probably isn\'t yours, you were conditioned to have that kind of reaction. And how about being aware of some of the things I said? Though that isn\'t awareness now, that\'s memory, I\'m cheating.
But still, I\'m assuming you\'re beginners. Think of some of the things you did not like. And think of some of the things you liked.
And how you reacted. Does that say anything about you? And let\'s make a sudden switch now.
Be aware of your presence in this room. It\'s a sudden switch. I\'m in this room.
It\'s as if you were outside yourself, looking at yourself, sitting here, as if you\'re looking at someone else. Do you notice the slightly different feeling? Later we\'ll ask, who\'s this person who\'s doing the looking?
I am looking at me. What\'s I? What\'s me?
But for the time being, it\'s enough that I would be watching me. And if you\'re tending to condemn yourself, or to approve of yourself, don\'t stop the condemnation now. Don\'t stop the judgment.
Don\'t stop the approval. Just watch it. I\'m condemning me. I\'m disapproving. Or I\'m approving. Just look at it.
Don\'t try to fix it. Don\'t say, oh, we were told not to do this. No, just observe what\'s going on.
As I said to you before, self-observation means watching, observing whatever is going on in you and around you as if it were happening to someone else. Stay with that for another minute now, and then we will end the exercise. I\'ll give you a bit of a break.
All right, that\'ll do. Ever hear what happened to the hippopotamus who swallowed a Jewish rabbi, a Protestant minister and a Catholic priest?
[Speaker 2] (10:52 - 10:52) No.

 [Speaker 1] (10:53 - 11:35)
Why, he had an ecumenical movement. I\'m giving you five minutes now. You could stand up and stretch for five minutes, and then we\'ll go relentlessly on.
Okay. Okay. Okay.
Let\'s continue from where we left off this morning. I\'m sure lots of you will have questions. I propose we leave them for a little later because once I\'ve spoken about two or three other topics, maybe some of the things you were going, you were planning to ask me about will get clarified.
So, I suggest that before I take up the next topic, you do the following.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 012
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 0:10)
Would you write down on a piece of paper any adjectives that you would use to describe yourself?
[Speaker 2] (0:14 - 0:15)
Any adjectives.
[Speaker 1] (0:17 - 11:34)
Businessman, priest, human being, Catholic, Jew, anything. Well, or any labels like businessman, etc. Anything.
Adjectives or nouns that you would use to describe yourself. You\'re in for a big surprise. You really are.
So, write those down. You\'re really going to enjoy this. Now, let\'s have a few samples. One from each person. Just a few samples, you know. Anyone, what was that? Prognosticative, prognosticative. She planned this one. Okay, any others?
Fruitful, searching pilgrim, competent, alive, impatient, centered, flexible, what was that? Reconciler, lover, member of the human race, overly structured. Alright, alright, alright, alright.
That\'s a pretty good introduction for what we\'re going to get into right now. Remember I said to you this morning that you would derive immense profit from self-observation, observing yourself. Remember?
As if you were watching another person. Observing everything in you and around you. Now, let\'s take a look at that phenomenon.
We\'re going to get right into whatever you want to call it. Philosophy, mysticism, spirituality, you name it. The name doesn\'t matter.
Here you\'ve got I observing me. Now this is an interesting phenomenon which has never ceased to cause wonder to philosophers, mystics, scientists, psychologists. I can observe me.
It would seem that the animals are not able to do this. It would seem that one needs a certain amount of intelligence to be able to do this. Self-consciousness.
Now I\'m warning you. What I\'m going to give you now is not metaphysics. It is not

 philosophy.
It\'s plain observation. Plain common sense. Maybe we\'ll come back to the philosophy a bit later on.
But watch this. When I observes me, I looking at me. Remember I told you this morning many of these great mystics of the East would say who are you?
Who am I? Who is I? They\'re really referring to that I.
Not to the me. And let\'s suppose that I were to observe me observing me. Have you noticed this has become me now?
Who\'s this guy? Search for the I. That\'s what they\'re saying.
Who\'s I? And no matter how far back you go you\'re always going to have to search for I. What is I?
Who is I? Ever thought of that? We\'ve been given all kinds of answers or we\'ve taken all kinds of answers for granted but never stopped probably to analyze or to find out for ourselves who I is or what I is.
As a matter of fact some of these mystics will tell you that we first begin with things. With awareness of things. Then we move on to awareness of thoughts.
Me. And finally to awareness of the thinker. Things.
Thoughts. Thinker. What we\'re really searching for is the thinker.
Can the thinker know himself? Can I know what I is? Some of these mystics reply can the knife cut itself?
Can the tooth bite itself? Can the I E-Y-E see itself? Can the I know itself?
But this we will have to leave for later. I am concerned with something infinitely more practical right now. And that is with deciding what the I is not.
And I\'ll go as slowly as possible because it\'s important that you follow every step here because the consequences are devastating. Terrific or terrifying depending on your point of view. You\'ve got the seed of liberation here.
Now listen to this. Am I my thoughts? Is I the thoughts that I am thinking?
No. No. Thoughts come and go.
I am not my thoughts. Is that clear? How about my body?
Am I my body? They tell us that the cells of our body keep getting changed and

 renewed. Millions of them every minute so that at the end of about seven years you don\'t have a single living cell in your body which was there seven years previously.
They\'re always changing. Cells come and go. Cells arise and die. I seems to persist. So am I my body? Evidently no.
I is something other and more than the body. You might say the body is part of I but it\'s a changing part. It keeps moving.
It keeps changing. We have the same name for it but it\'s constantly changing just as we have the same name for Niagara Falls. But Niagara Falls is constituted by the water which is constantly changing.
Same name for an ever-changing reality. I seems to continue even though the body cells are changing. How about my name?
Is I my name? Evidently not because I could change my name. I don\'t change the I when I change my name.
How about my career? How about my beliefs? I am a Catholic.
I am a Jew. Is that an essential part of I when I move from one religion to another? Has I changed?
And let\'s suppose I get back to my original religion. Has I changed? Do I have a new I or is it the same I that has changed?
In other words, is my name an essential part of me, of the I? Is my religion an essential part of the I? Remember I told you this morning about the little boy who says to the little girl, are you a Presbyterian, remember?
Somebody told me one about someone in Belfast, Paddy was walking down the street and he finds there\'s a gun there at the back of his head, pressing against the back of his head.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 013
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 0:17)
And a voice says, are you Catholic or Protestant? Well, Paddy had to do some pretty fast thinking. He said, I\'m a Jew.
And he hears the voice say, I\'ve got to be the luckiest Arab in the whole of Belfast. [Speaker 3] (0:25 - 0:43)
This is the end of the third tape. This is the fourth tape of the New York Conference\'s Wake Up to Life by Father Anthony DeMello.
[Speaker 1] (0:45 - 8:55)
Isn\'t it interesting how important labels are for us? They\'re so important. I am a Democrat.
I am a Republican. Are you really now? You mean when you switch parties?
Do you have a new eye? Or is it the same old eye with new political convictions? Remember hearing about the guy who says to his friend, he says, hey Tom, are you planning to vote Democrat in the next election?
He says, no, I\'m planning, or rather, are you planning to vote Republican? The guy says, no, I\'m planning to vote Democrat. Why?
Because my father was a Democrat. My grandfather was a Democrat. My great- grandfather was a Democrat.
So I\'m voting Democrat. And the other guy says, that\'s crazy logic, Paddy. I mean, now let\'s put it this way.
If your father was a horse thief and your grandfather was a horse thief and your great- grandfather was a horse thief, what would you be? He said, well, then I\'d be a Republican. So labels, labels, labels, labels.
Where does that get you? And we spend so much of our lives, don\'t we, reacting to labels, our own and others. Identifying the label with the eye.
Talking about Catholics and Protestants. Did you hear the one about the guy who comes in and says, Father, I want you to say a mass for my dog. Father\'s indignant.
He\'s outraged. What do you mean, say a mass for your dog? He says, you know, my dog, my pet dog, I love that dog.

 I\'d like you to offer a mass for him. Father says, we don\'t offer masses for dogs, for animals here. You may try the denomination lower down the street.
Ask them, they might have a service for you. And the guy, as he\'s moving away, he says, too bad. I really love that dog.
I was planning to offer a million dollars in stipend for that mass. Father said, wait a minute. You never told me your dog was Catholic.
When you\'re caught up in labels, what value do these labels have when applied to eye? That\'s an interesting question. I\'ll invite you to think about it later, to discuss it.
Could we say that eye is none of the labels that we attach to it? That these labels belong to me? That what is constantly changing is me?
Does the observer ever change? Why bother? The fact is that no matter what labels you can think up, except perhaps human being, you apply them to me.
Eye is none of these things. So when you step out of yourself and observe me, when you step out of yourself and no longer observe, and sorry, and no longer identify with me, you learn all kinds of interesting things. For instance, suffering.
Suffering exists in the form of a human being. Suffering exists when you identify with me and when you identify with me. Anytime you identify, anytime eye identifies with any thing or person outside of itself, or it identifies with me, now comes fear, now comes desire, now comes a threat.
The eye begins to feel threatened. When eye does not identify with money, or name, or nationality, or persons, or friends, or any quality, the eye is not threatened. It can be very active as I will show you later on, but it isn\'t threatened.
Everybody think of a time, or think of some suffering that you have right now. Anything that\'s causing you pain, or worry, or anxiety. Think of that.
You may close your eyes if you wish. First, can you pick up the desire under that suffering? There\'s something you desire very keenly, or you wouldn\'t be suffering.
What is it? Second, that isn\'t just an ordinary desire, that\'s a craving. Worse, there\'s an identification there.
You have somehow said to yourself, the well-being of eye, almost the existence of eye, is tied up with this desire. See if you can find that. Let me give you a minute or two to talk about this now.
Talk with somebody about this, because it\'s important. First, how true is it that all suffering is caused by my identifying myself with something? Whether that something is

 within me, or outside of me.
And when it is outside of me, whether it is a thing, or a person. Talk about it for a couple of minutes, then let\'s see if we can get some reactions from you.
[Speaker 2] (8:57 - 8:58)
Okay.
[Speaker 1] (9:03 - 9:07)
How about some reactions? Yes. [Speaker 2] (9:07 - 10:06)
Well, I want to share with you something wonderful that happened to me. I saw your movies, and I was at work shortly after and I was really having trouble with three people. And I said, alright, just like I learned in the movie, I\'m going to come outside myself.
And for a couple of hours, I just got all my feelings together about how bad I felt about these three people. And I said, well, I really hate those people. I mean, I was honest.
I got it all together. And I said, well, Jesus, what can you do about that? And a little while later, I started to cry because I realized that Jesus died for those people, and they didn\'t care how they were.
And that afternoon, I had to go in the office, and I spoke to those people, and I told them why I was right and what my problem was, and they agreed with me. Because I wasn\'t mad at them, and I didn\'t hate them anymore.
[Speaker 1] (10:07 - 11:08)
Okay, that\'s wonderful. We\'ll go a little deeper into that later, shall we? About the negative feelings we have towards others.
Anytime you have a negative feeling towards anyone, you\'re living in an illusion. There\'s something seriously wrong with you, as you discovered. You\'re not seeing reality.
Something inside of you has to change. But what do we generally do when we have a negative feeling? We\'re saying, he is to blame.
She is to blame. She\'s got to change. Oh, no, no, no, no.
The world\'s all right. The one who has to change is you. But we\'ll have much more to say about that later.
Any other reaction? Yes.

 [Speaker 2] (11:09 - 11:34)
I\'ve been working in this position, and I\'m trying to get some kind of example of what you meant when you said inequality. We\'ve had a staff meeting, and someone says, of course. So, my question is, is that related to what you\'re saying?
You didn\'t take it personally.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 014
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 0:25)
Ah yes, ah yes. You know, she\'s identified with this and she\'s saying anyone who attacks the food is attacking me. I feel threatened, but I is never threatened.
It\'s only me that is threatened. Yes?
[Speaker 3] (0:53 - 1:10)
Now did you assume that I was saying that you wouldn\'t do anything? [Speaker 1] (1:11 - 3:18)
I said you wouldn\'t have negative feelings, as a result of which you\'d be much more effective, because when the negative feelings come in, you go blind. And me steps into the picture and everything gets fouled up and frequently we had a problem on our hand before, now we have two problems. But that\'s a very good question, because I have to come back to that again.
Don\'t assume, I\'m glad you brought that out, because lot might assume that not having negative feelings of anger and resentment and hate would mean that you do nothing about the situation. Oh no, oh no. You\'re not affected emotionally, but you are actionally, if that makes any sense.
You spring into action. You become very sensitive to things and people around you. What kills the sensitivity is this.
What many people would call the conditioned self. When you identify with me, there\'s too much of you in it for you to see things objectively, to see things detachedly. And it\'s very important that when you swing into action, you be able to see things detachedly.
But when negative emotions get in, you can no longer do that. So that was a very good question. Yes.
You had a question, John.
[Speaker 2] (3:18 - 3:41)
I was wondering if there\'s an area before something becomes an attachment, before it becomes identification, like a friend dies. It seems to me that it\'s human to feel something about that, a sadness, but it becomes identification when it gets in the way of my becoming less free, but it seems there ought to be some type of reaction to my friend\'s death.

 [Speaker 1] (3:41 - 11:35)
All right. It seems that there ought to be some kind of reaction to my friend\'s death. Self- pity?
What would you be grieving about? Think about this, everybody. What are you grieving about?
What I\'m saying is going to sound terrible. I told you I\'m coming from another world. Personal loss, right?
Feeling sorry for me? All right. You mean you\'re feeling sorry for other people who are feeling sorry for themselves?
Or they\'re not feeling sorry for themselves? Then what would I be feeling sorry for? What we call grief.
Do we ever feel grief when we lose something that we have allowed to be free, that we have never attempted to possess, and we have never allowed ourselves to be attached to? Meaning. What does it mean to be attached?
Meaning, I made my happiness depend on this thing or this person, at least to some extent. We\'re so accustomed to this that to hear the opposite sounds inhuman, doesn\'t it? I\'m not saying that me, the conditioned self, will not sometimes fall into this, because that\'s the way we have been conditioned.
But is it conceivable that you would live a life where you would be so totally alone that you would depend on no one? Please try to understand this. We all depend on one another, don\'t we, for all kinds of things.
We depend on the butcher and the baker and the candlestick maker. Interdependence. That\'s fine.
We set up society and we organize society in this way. We allot different functions to different people for the welfare of everyone, so that we will function better and live more effectively, hopefully. But to depend on another psychologically, to depend on another emotionally, what does that mean?
That means to depend on another human being for my happiness. Think about that. Because if you do, the next thing you will be doing, whether you\'re aware of it or not, is you will be demanding that that person contribute to your happiness.
Next step. Fear. Fear of loss.
Fear of alienation. Fear of rejection. Mutual control.

 Perfect love casts out fear. Where there is love, there are no demands. There are no expectations.
There is no dependency. I do not demand that you make me happy. My happiness does not lie in you.
If you were to leave me, I will not feel sorry for myself. I enjoy your company immensely, but I do not cling. I enjoy it on a non-clinging basis.
What I really enjoy is not you. It\'s something that\'s greater than both you and me. It is something that I discovered, a kind of a symphony, a kind of an orchestra that plays.
And on the occasion of your presence, it plays one melody. And when you depart, the orchestra doesn\'t stop. On the occasion of meeting someone else, it plays another melody, which is also very delightful.
And when I\'m alone, it continues to play. A great repertoire there never ceases to play. That\'s what awaking is all about.
That\'s why when we\'re hypnotized, we\'re brainwashed, we\'re asleep. It seems so terrifying. But can you be said to love me if you cling to me and will not let me go or will not let me be?
Can you be said to love me if you need me psychologically, emotionally for your happiness? My, you\'ve got lots to reflect on there, don\'t you? Do you know something?
This is the universal teaching of all the scriptures, of all religions and of all the mystics. How come we missed it? How come I missed it for so many years?
I say to myself repeatedly, how come I didn\'t see it? When you read those radical things in the scriptures, my, you begin to wonder, is this man crazy? After a while you begin to think, is everybody else crazy?
Unless you hate your father and mother, brothers and sisters. Unless you renounce and give up everything you possess, you cannot be my disciple. You\'ve got to drop it all.
Not physical renunciation, you understand. That\'s easy. It\'s seeing through the delusion. That\'s easy too. And they drop. The delusions drop.
You\'re in touch with reality.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 015
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 11:35)
At last, and believe me, you will never again be lonely. Never again. You have found it.
Loneliness is not cured by human company. Loneliness is cured by contact with reality. Oh, I have so much to say about that.
Contact with reality, dropping one\'s illusions, making contact with the real, whatever that is. It has no name. We can only know it through dropping the unreal.
You can only know what aloneness is when you drop your clinging, when you drop your dependency. But the first step towards that is that you would even see this as desirable because if you don\'t even see it as desirable, how will you get anywhere near it? And think, that loneliness of yours, will human company ever take it away?
Or will it only serve as a distraction? There\'s an emptiness inside, isn\'t there? And when the emptiness surfaces, what do you do?
You run away. Turn on the TV, turn on the radio, read a book, search for human company, seek entertainment, seek distraction. Everybody\'s doing that.
Big business nowadays, or an organized industry, entertainment, distract us, entertain us, observe yourself. That\'s why I said to you this morning, self-observation is so delightful. Such an extraordinary thing.
After a while, you don\'t have to make an effort because as illusion begins to crumble and you begin to know this thing that cannot be described called happiness, everything changes. You become addicted to awareness. Awareness, awareness, awareness.
There\'s a story of the disciple or a traveler who goes to the master and he says, could you give me a word of wisdom? Could you tell me something that would guide me through my days? It was the master\'s day of silence.
So he picked a pad and wrote one word on the pad. He said, awareness, and gave it to the traveler. When the traveler saw that, he said, but this is too brief.
Could you expand on it a bit? And the master took the pad back pleasantly and wrote, awareness, awareness, awareness. He said, yes, but what does it mean?
And the master took the pad back and wrote, awareness, awareness, awareness means awareness. That\'s what it means. Watch yourself.
I told you this morning, no one can show you how to do it because he would be giving you a technique, he\'d be programming you, but watch yourself. You had a reaction this

 morning when you were talking to someone were you aware of it? Were you not identifying with it?
You get angry with somebody. You aware that you\'re angry? And were you not identifying with your anger?
And later when you had the time, did you study it? Did you attempt to understand it? Where did it come from?
What brought it on? I don\'t know of any other means of transformation than awareness. I don\'t know of any other.
If any of you cover some other method of self-transformation, I\'d be very happy to hear it from you, but I don\'t know of any other. You only change what you understand. What you do not understand and are not aware of, you repress, you don\'t change.
Just gets repressed. But when you understand it, it changes. When you become aware of it, it changes.
My, that was a pretty lengthy discourse, wasn\'t it? You seem a bit stunned, are you? Why don\'t we give you a five-minute break to stand up and stretch, and then we\'ll continue.
Gee, I really knocked you all out, didn\'t I? Yes? I think that one of the benefits of growing in awareness is that a gradual figure is an aware one, kind of.
I don\'t know how much help this is going to be, but it\'s both kind of things. It is. There\'s some lucky people who\'ll see it in a flash.
And as far as I know, there is no known means of acquiring this. How do you get it? I don\'t know.
You just become aware. There are others who keep growing into it, slowly, gradually. Increasingly, they see things.
Illusions begin to drop off. Fantasies begin to be peeled away, and they get in touch with facts. So there\'s no general rule, really.
There\'s this famous story of the lion who once pounced upon a flock of sheep, and to his amazement, he found a lion among them. It was a lion who had been brought up by the sheep ever since he was a cub, and he would be bleating like the sheep and running around, and the lion went straight for him. And when this sheep lion stood in front of the real one, he trembled in every limb.
And the lion said to him, what are you doing among sheep here? And the lion said, I am a sheep. He said, oh no, you\'re not.

 You\'re coming with me. And he got hold of him and took him to a pool. And he said, look.
And when the lion who thought he was a sheep looked at his reflection in the water, in that minute, he was transformed. Was never the same again. If you\'re lucky, if the gods are gracious, if you are gifted with divine grace, use any theological expression you want.
You might suddenly understand who I is. And you\'ll never be the same again. Never, ever.
And that\'s where you\'ll dwell. And nothing will ever be able to touch you again. And no one will ever be able to hurt you again.
And you will fear no one. And you will fear nothing. Isn\'t that extraordinary?
You live like a king, like a queen. This is what it means to live like royalty, not the rubbish where you get your pictures in the, in the, you know, in the newspapers. And where you, you\'ve got a lot of money, but a lot of rot.
And you\'re as terrified and confused as everyone else. And you\'re trying to hide it. When you fear no one, because you fear losing nothing.
When you fear no one, because you\'re perfectly content to be nobody. Who wants to be somebody here? What\'s the use of it all?
You don\'t give a damn. It doesn\'t matter. Success, failure means nothing.
Honor, disgrace, nothing. You make a fool of yourself, means nothing. My, isn\'t that a wonderful state to be in?
Now, some people arrive at this painstakingly, step by step, through months and weeks of self-awareness. But I promise you one thing, I\'ve not known a one person who would give time to being aware, who wouldn\'t see the difference in a matter of weeks. Already the quality of your living is changing.
You don\'t have to take it on faith anymore. You\'re seeing it. You\'re different.
You react differently. In fact, you\'re reacting less and you\'re acting more. You see things you\'ve never seen before.
You\'re much more energetic, much more alive. People think that if they had no cravings, they\'d be like dead wood. You know what would happen to you?
You\'d lose your tension. Your fear of failure, your tension about succeeding and you\'d be yourself, relaxed. You wouldn\'t be driving with your brakes on.
That\'s what would happen. There\'s a lovely saying of Chuang Tzu that I took the trouble,

 great Chinese sage, Chuang Tzu, that I took the trouble to learn by heart. Hope I remember it.
But if we fail, it\'s all right. It says, when the archer shoots for nothing, he has all his skill. When he shoots for a brass buckle, he is already nervous.
When he shoots for a prize of gold, he goes blind, sees two targets.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 016
[Speaker 1] (0:01 - 3:10)
He is out of his mind. His skill has not changed, but the prize divides him. He cares.
He thinks more of winning than of shooting. And the need to win drains him of power. Isn\'t that lovely?
Isn\'t that an image of what most people are? When the archer shoots for nothing, he has all his skill. When you\'re living for nothing, you\'ve got all your skill, you\'ve got all your energy available to you.
You\'re relaxed. You don\'t care. It doesn\'t matter whether you win or lose.
Now, there\'s human living for you. That\'s what life is all about. That can only come from awareness.
And in awareness, as I shall explain as we go along, you will understand that honor doesn\'t mean a thing. It doesn\'t. It\'s a social convention, that\'s all.
And so the prophets didn\'t bother one bit about it. Honor, disgrace, meant nothing to them. They were living in another world, in the world of the awakened.
Success, failure, meant nothing to them. Kind of, I\'m an ass, you\'re an ass, so where\'s the problem? Somebody said, I think it was a man called Sidney Harris.
I recollect reading. He said, the three most difficult things that a human being can do are not physical feats or intellectual achievements. They are, first, returning love for hate.
Second, including the excluded. And third, admitting that you are wrong. My, easiest pie, easiest thing in the world, easiest thing in the world.
If you haven\'t identified with me, what\'s the problem? Yeah, I\'m wrong. If you knew me better, my God, you\'d see how often I\'m wrong.
What would you expect from an ass? But I haven\'t identified with him, see? I is not this. So you cannot hurt me.
[Speaker 2] (3:16 - 3:17)
Can you imagine that?
[Speaker 1] (3:19 - 11:35)
Initially, oh, the old conditioned me will react, and you\'ll be depressed, and you\'ll be

 anxious, and you will grieve, and you will cry, etc. Before enlightenment, I used to be depressed. After enlightenment, I continue to be depressed.
But there\'s a difference. I don\'t identify with it anymore. You know what a big difference that is?
Do you know what it means? I\'ll say this slowly. Do you know what it means to step outside of yourself and look at that depression and not identify with it and not do a thing to make it go away and to be perfectly willing to go on with your life while it passes through you and disappears?
My, if you don\'t know what that means, you really have something to look forward to. And the anxiety, there it comes. And you\'re not troubled.
How strange. You\'re anxious, and you\'re not troubled. Isn\'t that strange?
Isn\'t that a paradox? And you\'re willing to let this cloud come in because the more you fight it, the more power you give it. And you\'re willing to observe it as it passes by.
Do you know something? You can be happy in your anxiety. Isn\'t that crazy?
And you can be happy in your depression. It\'s just that you got the wrong notion of happiness. You thought happiness was excitement.
You thought happiness was thrills. You know something? That\'s what causes the depression.
Didn\'t anyone tell you that? You\'re thrilled. All right, you\'re preparing the way for your next depression.
You\'re thrilled. Have you picked up the anxiety behind that? How could I make that last? Somebody said that yesterday evening. How can I make it last? That\'s not happiness. That\'s thrills. That\'s kicks. That\'s addiction.
That\'s drugs. Talk about the drug addict. My, I\'ve got something to show you.
I wonder how many non-addicts there are in this hall tonight. If you\'re anything like the average group, very few. Very few.
Don\'t look superiorly down your nose at the alcoholic and the drug addict. Maybe you\'re just as addicted as he or she is. The first time, my, I\'m becoming personal.
The first time I got a glimpse of this world, it was terrifying. Terrifying. To understand what it meant to live alone.

 To have nowhere to rest your head. But nowhere to leave everyone free and to be free yourself. To be special to no one.
To love everyone. Because love does that. It shines on good and bad alike.
And it makes its rain to fall on saints and sinners alike. No difference. It doesn\'t depend on an object to exist.
You don\'t pull it out. It\'s there. Available.
Like the rose. Is it possible for the rose to say, I will give my fragrance to the good people who smell me. And I will withhold it from the bad.
Or like a lamp. Is it possible for the lamp to say, I shall give my light to the good people in this room. And withhold my light from the evil people.
Or like a tree. Can a tree say, I\'ll give my shade to the good people who rest in my shade. And withhold my shade from the bad.
There are images of what love is all about. But I told you, we don\'t really know what love is. But it\'s right there staring us in the face.
In the scriptures. We never cared to see it. Because we were so drowned in what our culture calls love.
In its love songs. And its poems. That isn\'t love at all.
That\'s the opposite of love. That\'s desire. That\'s control.
That\'s possessiveness. That\'s manipulation. That\'s fear.
That\'s anxiety. That\'s not love. And we were told that happiness lies in thrills.
It\'s so painful. It really is so painful to watch those commercials. Happiness is a smooth complexion.
A holiday resort. But you know that already. You know that already.
Or you wouldn\'t be here. You know it isn\'t these things. But then we have other subtle ways of making our happiness depend on other things.
Both within us and outside of us. I refuse to be happy until my neurosis goes. How about that one?
I got good news for you. You can be happy right now with the neurosis. Yes sir.
You want even better news? There\'s only one reason why you are not experiencing what in India we call Anand. We have a special word for happiness.

 For this kind of happiness. It\'s called Anand. Bliss.
Bliss. There\'s only one reason why you are not experiencing bliss. This present moment.
And it is because you\'re thinking or you\'re focusing on what you don\'t have. Or else you would experience bliss. You\'re focusing on what you don\'t have.
Right now you have everything you need to be in happiness. Bliss. Anand. Right now. Jesus was talking horse sense. He was talking to lay people.
To married people. To third world people. To starving people.
To poor people. He\'s telling them good news. It\'s yours for the taking. Ready for it? Here goes. But who will listen?
No one\'s interested. They\'d rather be asleep. Because I\'ll show you as we go along these days.
You have something to say. Let\'s have a little interaction. All right. All right. Only two things in the world. God and fear.
Love and fear. Only two things. There\'s only one evil in the world. Fear.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 017
[Speaker 1] (0:02 - 1:52)
There\'s only one good in the world, love. It\'s sometimes called by other names, it\'s sometimes called happiness, it\'s sometimes called freedom, or peace, or joy, or God, or whatever, but the label doesn\'t matter really. And there\'s not a single evil in the world that you cannot trace to fear.
Not a one, not one. Ignorance and fear. Ignorance caused by fear.
That\'s where all the evil comes from. That\'s where your violence comes from. The person who is truly non-violent, who\'s incapable of violence, is the person who is fearless.
It\'s only when you\'re afraid that you become angry. Have you ever thought of that? Think of the last time you were angry.
Go ahead. Think of the last time you were angry. Search for the fear behind that.
What were you afraid of losing? What were you afraid was being taken away from you? That\'s where the anger comes from.
Think of an angry person, maybe someone you\'re afraid of. Can you see how frightened he or she is?
[Speaker 2] (1:57 - 1:58)
He\'s really frightened.
[Speaker 1] (1:59 - 7:04)
He really is. She\'s really frightened, or she wouldn\'t be angry. How true.
Ultimately, there are only two things. Love and fear. But my, I\'ve gone far ahead of what I was planning to do, but I\'d rather leave it like this.
I\'d rather leave it unstructured and move from one thing to another and keep returning to themes again and again. Because that\'s the way to really to grasp what I\'m saying, maybe. Because what, when it doesn\'t hit you the first time, it might the second time.
And what doesn\'t hit one person might hit another. So I\'ve got different themes, but they\'re all about the same thing. Call it awareness, call it love, call it spirituality, or freedom, or awakening, or whatever.
It really is the same thing. So to summarize what I said this afternoon, as you begin to observe yourself, self-observation, watching everything inside of you and outside. Oh, I\'m going to have a lot to say about that too.

 Outside, the trees, the stars, the traffic, the faces of friends, the people you\'re living with, dried leaves, the birds, a pile of stones, water, anything, anything. Observe, watch. You might suddenly stumble upon a whole world you had never seen.
And you\'d say, God, I\'ve been, I\'ve been here all along. How come I never saw this? To watch everything inside of you and outside.
And when there\'s something happening to you, to see it as if it were happening to someone else. With no comment, no judgment, no attitude, no interference, no attempt to change, only to understand, only to understand. Now, as you do this, you will begin to realize that increasingly you are dis-identifying from me.
Saint Teresa of Avila says that towards the end of her life, God gave her this extraordinary grace. She doesn\'t use this modern expression, of course, but that\'s what it really boils down to, of dis-identifying from herself. Extraordinary liberation at last.
You know how it is? John Smith has cancer. I don\'t know John Smith.
John Smith is in me. So I\'m not all that affected. If I have love and sensitivity, maybe I\'ll help, but I\'m not all that affected emotionally.
You have an examination. I\'m not all that affected. I can be quite philosophical about it and I\'ll say, well, the more you worry about it, the worse it\'s going to get.
Why don\'t you take a good break? But when it comes my turn to have an examination, well, that\'s something else, isn\'t it? Because I\'ve identified with me.
I identify with my family, my country, my possessions, my body, me. How would it be if I had a grace, if God gave me the grace, that I wouldn\'t call these things my? That isn\'t I at all.
I\'d be detached. I\'d be dis-identified. That\'s what it means to lose the self, to deny the self, to die the self, to the ego, to me, to be objective about it, to be dis-identified and detached from it.
Now, as you begin to practice this, you could try it tonight. You know, don\'t, it\'s not a matter of nerves now or muscles, of tightening your muscles, but as you move around, if you can be aware of what you\'re doing, if you can be aware of what you\'re saying, if you can be aware of how you are reacting, what a difference. Won\'t be long before you notice the effect.
[Speaker 2] (7:04 - 7:18)
This is the end of the fourth tape. This is the fifth tape of the New York Conferences, Wake Up to Life, by Father Anthony DeMello.

 [Speaker 1] (7:20 - 11:35)
It\'s sad to think that human beings would go through life with fixed ideas, programming, and they never change, and they\'re not aware. They\'re just not aware of what\'s going on. Very religious people, some of them, but no awareness.
I really meant that. You might as well have been a block of wood. You might as well have been a rock.
Really. A talking, walking, thinking. Machine, computer, that\'s not human.
Puppet, jerked around by all kinds of things. Press a button, you\'ll get the reaction. I told you that yesterday.
You could almost predict, to the nth degree, how a human being is going to react. Just study the person, oh, for a day, and I\'ll tell you exactly how he or she is going to react. And sometimes write it on a piece of paper for my therapy group, and say, so-and-so is going to start the session.
So-and-so will reply. They\'re the machines, true to plan, go on. That\'s painful.
They\'re not aware. And don\'t listen to the people who say to you, forget yourself, go out and love to others. Don\'t listen to them.
They\'re all wrong. The worst thing you can do is to forget yourself when you go out to others. Go out in your so-called helping attitude.
You know, this was brought home to me very forcefully many years ago, when I did my studies in Chicago, in psychology. We had a course in counseling for priests. It was only open to priests who were actually engaged in counseling, and who agreed to bring a tape to class.
So we did that. Must have been about 20 of us. When it was my turn, I brought a cassette, a tape to class that had engraved on it, impressed on it, an interview that I had with a young woman.
Well, we took it to class. The instructor put it in a tape recorder, and we all began to hear it. After five minutes, as was his custom, the instructor stopped the tape.
He said, any comments? Someone said to me, why did you ask her that question? I said, I\'m not aware that I asked any question.
As a matter of fact, I\'m quite sure I did not ask any question. He said, oh no, you did. See, I was quite sure, because I was consciously following the method of Carl Rogers, person-oriented, non-directive.

 You don\'t ask questions, you don\'t interrupt, you don\'t give advice, etc. So I was very aware that I mustn\'t ask questions. All right, there was a bit of a dispute between the two of us, and the instructor said, why don\'t we play that again?
So we played that again, and heard it. And there, to my horror, was a whopping big question, as tall as the Empire State Building. A huge question, you couldn\'t miss it.
Now, you know, the interesting thing was that I had heard that question three times. The first time, presumably, when I asked it. The second time, when I listened to the tape in my room, because I wanted to take a good tape to the class, see.
And the third time, when I heard it in the room, in the classroom, but it hadn\'t registered. I wasn\'t aware. That happens frequently in my therapy sessions, or direction, spiritual direction sessions, or whatever.
We tape the interview, we record it, and again and again.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 018
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 11:35)
And again, when the client listens to it, he or she says, you know, I didn\'t really hear what you said in the interview. I only heard it when I listened to the tape. More interestingly, I didn\'t really hear what I said in the, when we had the interview.
I only had, look what I said. Somewhat humiliatingly, I sometimes discover what I said when I\'m listening to the tape with her. That\'s shocking.
It\'s shocking to discover that I\'m saying things, I\'m saying things for heaven\'s sake, in a therapy session that I\'m not aware of. The full import of which only dawns on me later. You call that human?
Forget yourself and go out to others? Well, I had an even more shattering experience that morning, because when we listened to the whole tape, the instructor said, any comments? One of the priests, a 50 year old man, whom I took a liking to, he\'d sit in one corner of the room, smoking his pipe.
He said to me, Tony, I\'d like to ask you a personal question. Would that be all right? I said, yeah, go ahead.
If I don\'t want to answer it, I won\'t. What\'s the personal question? He said, this woman you\'re interviewing, is she pretty?
Now, you know, honest to goodness, I was at a stage of my development or undevelopment or whatever you want to call it, where I really didn\'t notice if someone was good looking or not. I really didn\'t. It didn\'t matter.
I mean, she was a sheep of the flock of Christ. I was the pastor. I dispensed help.
Yes, that\'s the way we were trained, the good old training. So I said to him, what has that got to do with it, whether she\'s pretty or not? He said, you don\'t like her, do you?
What? You don\'t like her, do you? Well, it hadn\'t ever struck me that I liked or disliked people or mostly occasional powerful likes and dislikes would register in consciousness, but the other ones wouldn\'t.
You know, it was mostly neutral. I said, what makes you say that? He said, it\'s the tape.
I said, uh, you mean you\'d get that from the interview? He said, yes. Would you like me to show you?
I said, yes, I\'d be happy to. And he, we went through that tape again and he said, listen to your voice here, how sweet it has become. You\'re irritated, aren\'t you?

 I was. I was only becoming aware of it right there. And look what you\'re doing here, non- directively for heaven\'s sake.
You know what I was saying to her? I was saying, don\'t come back, but I wasn\'t aware of it. And he said, she\'s a woman.
She\'ll have picked this up. They say women have a sixth sense. Yes.
Remember the guy who was supposed to have had a sixth sense, but he lacked all the other five? He had a sixth sense. So he said, you\'re saying don\'t come back.
Don\'t come back. He said, when are you supposed to meet her next? I said, well, next Wednesday.
He said, my guess is she won\'t come back. She didn\'t. I waited for one week. She didn\'t come. Waited for another Wednesday. She didn\'t come.
Then I called her. I broke one of my rules. I called her generally don\'t let them take the initiative.
Don\'t be a rescuer. But I said to her, you remember that tape you allowed me to make for the class? And she said, yes.
I said, you know, it was a great help because they pointed out all kinds of things to me. I didn\'t tell her what. That would help me to be more effective.
So if you\'d care to come back, you\'re free to. I think I\'d be somewhat more effective. She said, all right, I\'ll come back.
She did. The dislike was still there. Hadn\'t gone away.
But it wasn\'t coming in the way. That\'s important. What you are aware of, you are in control of.
What you are not aware of is in control of you. You are always a slave to what you\'re not aware of. When you\'re aware of it, you\'re free from it.
It\'s there, but you\'re not affected by it. You\'re not controlled by it. You\'re not enslaved by it.
That\'s the difference. Awareness. Awareness, awareness, awareness.
What they trained us to do at that course was to become participant observers. Like I\'d be talking to you to put it somewhat graphically. I\'d be talking to you and I\'d be here talking to you and I\'d be out there watching you and watching me.

 When I\'m listening to you, it is infinitely more important for me to listen to me than to listen to you. See if you could get that one. When I\'m listening to you, it\'s infinitely more important for me to listen to me than to listen to you.
Of course, it\'s important to listen to you, but it\'s even more important that I be listening to me or else I won\'t be hearing you or else I\'ll be distorting everything you say or else I\'ll be coming at you from my own conditioning or else I\'ll be reacting to you in all kinds of ways from my insecurities, from my need to manipulate you, from my desire to succeed, from my irritations and feelings that I may not be aware of. So it\'s frightfully important that I be listening to me when I\'m listening to you.
That\'s what they were training us to do. It was a training in awareness and as I shall tell you this morning how important it is that you be listening to yourself, observing yourself, watching yourself constantly as you react to life and to people, to the world. So important.
How does one do this? Does one do this consciously? You know, I said to you, observe yourself the way you would be observing someone else.
That needs a little explanation. You don\'t always have to imagine yourself hovering up somewhere there in the air looking at yourself. No, no, no.
You know, to give you an idea, a rough idea of what I\'m talking about, imagine a good driver driving a car. He\'s concentrating on what you\'re saying. In fact, he\'s having an argument with you.
That\'s how much he\'s concentrating. But he\'s perfectly aware of all the road signals. And the moment anything untoward happens, the moment there\'s any untoward sound or noise or bump, he hears it at once.
He says, are you sure you closed that door back there? How did he get that? He was aware.
He was alert. The focus of his attention, his attention was on the conversation, on the argument, but his awareness was more diffuse. He was taking in all kinds of things.
What I\'m advocating here is not concentration. That\'s not important. Lots of meditative techniques inculcate concentration.
I\'m wary of those things. They involve violence and they frequently involve further programming and conditioning. What I would advocate is awareness, which is not the same as concentration at all.
Concentration is a spotlight. Awareness, floodlight. You\'re open to anything that comes within the scope of your consciousness.

 Big difference. So when you\'re practicing awareness, you\'re never distracted. You may go to sleep.
Go to sleep even though you\'re awake, which means you may turn off the awareness. Then you\'re asleep, even though you\'re talking and reading etc. But when the awareness is turned on, there\'s never any distraction because you\'re always aware of whatever, wherever your, the focus of your attention happens to be.
Like now I\'m looking at those trees. Now I\'m worrying. Was I distracted?
You would have been distracted only if you were meant to concentrate on the trees. But if you\'re aware that you\'re worried, that isn\'t a distraction at all. Just be aware of where the focus of your attention goes.
And above all, if you\'re practicing this even to a limited degree, you\'ll develop an extraordinary skill. When anything goes awry or anything untoward happens, you\'ll be alerted at once. Something\'s going wrong.
The moment any negative feeling comes into consciousness, you\'ll be alerted. Something going wrong and you\'ll give it your attention. Something like the driver of the car.
Awareness, awareness, awareness. Now, I told you that as you begin to practice self- observation, you will see yourself that you are observing you. I am observing me.
Now that\'s a strange phenomenon. I observing me. Remember I told you yesterday Saint Teresa of Avila would say that God gave her the grace of dis-identifying herself from herself.
You know little children talk that way. A two-year-old will say, Tommy had his breakfast this morning. He doesn\'t say I.
He says Tommy, third person. Mystics feel that way. They don\'t feel I have a problem.
They feel Tommy has a problem. That\'s extraordinary. They have dis-identified from themselves and at last

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 019
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 11:35)
They\'re at peace. This is the grace that Saint Teresa of Avila was talking about. This is the eye that the mystic masters of the East are constantly urging people to discover.
And of the West too, because you can count Meister Eckhart among them, they\'re urging people to discover the eye. Who\'s eye? What\'s eye?
Now the important thing is not, listen to this sentence carefully, the important thing is not to know who I is or what I is. You\'ll never succeed. There are no words for this.
The important thing is to drop the labels. As the Japanese masters, the Zen masters say, don\'t seek for truth, only drop your opinions, drop your theories. Don\'t seek for truth.
Truth isn\'t something you seek for. If you would stop being opinionated, you would know. If you would drop your beliefs and opinions, you would know.
Now something similar happens here. If you would drop your labels, you would know. What do I mean by label?
Every label you can conceive of, except perhaps human being. I am a human being, fair enough. Doesn\'t say very much.
But when you say I am successful, that\'s crazy. Because success is not part of the eye. Success is something that comes and goes.
It could be here today and gone tomorrow. That\'s not eye. But you said I am a success.
That\'s where you were in error. That\'s when you got plunged into darkness. You identified yourself with success.
I am a failure. I am a lawyer. I am a businessman.
Now you know what\'s going to happen to you if you identify yourself with these things? You\'re going to cling to them. You\'re going to be worried that they may fall apart.
And that\'s where all your suffering comes in. That\'s what I meant in the beginning when I said to you, if you\'re suffering, you\'re asleep. You want a sign that you\'re asleep?
Here it is. You\'re suffering. You\'re asleep.
Suffering is a sign that you\'re out of touch with the truth. Suffering is given to you that you might open your eyes to the truth, that you might understand that there is some falsehood somewhere. Just as physical pain is given to you to understand that there\'s a disease, there\'s an illness somewhere.

 So suffering points out that there\'s some falsehood somewhere. Suffering occurs when you clash with reality. When your illusion clashes with reality.
When your falsehood clashes with truth, then you have suffering. Otherwise, there is no suffering. Now listen very carefully.
The next few minutes, this sounds a bit pompous, but it\'s true. The next few minutes could be the most important minutes in the lives of some of you. If you could grasp this, you hit upon the secret for awakening.
You would be happy forever. You would never be unhappy again. Nothing, but nothing would have the power to hurt you.
And I mean that. Nothing. It\'s like, you know, you take black paint and throw it up in the air and keep throwing black paint in the air.
The air is uncontaminated. You don\'t color the air black. And no matter what happens to you, you remain uncontaminated.
You remain at peace. There are human beings, and you know it, who have attained to this. That is what I call human.
Not what people are generally living. That\'s what I call being a human being. That\'s what I call natural.
Not this nonsense of being a puppet, jerked about this way and that, having any event or any person tell you how to feel, and then you proceed to feel it. They call it being vulnerable. I call it being a puppet.
You want to be a puppet? We press a button and you\'re down. You like that?
So there it is. If you do not identify with any of those labels, first of all, most of your worries cease. What are you generally worried about?
Later we\'ll talk about your fear of disease and death. But ordinarily, you\'re worried about what\'s going to happen to your career. A businessman, small-time businessman, kind of, 55 years old, he\'s sipping beer somewhere at a bar, and he thinks, well, look at my classmates.
They\'ve really made it. The idiots, they\'ve made it. What do you mean they\'ve made it?
They got their names in the newspapers, you call that made it? They got their names in the news, in the prison journal, which all the prisoners are reading, and he thinks they\'ve made it. Successful president of a corporation, the other guy has become the chief justice, and somebody else has become this, and the other person has become that.

 Monkeys, all of them. Who determines what it means to be a success? The main preoccupation of society is to keep society sick, and the sooner you realize that, the better.
Every one of them, most of them, they\'re loony, they\'re crazy. You became the president of the lunatic asylum, and you\'re proud of it. It means nothing, it really means nothing.
Being the president of a corporation has absolutely nothing to do with being awake, or being happy, or being a success in life. Nothing, absolutely nothing. Having a lot of money has nothing to do with being a success in life.
You\'re a success in life when you wake up. When you don\'t have to apologize to anyone. When you don\'t have to explain anything to anyone.
You don\'t feel the need to explain anything to anyone. You don\'t give a damn what anybody thinks of you, or what anybody says about you. You have no worry.
You\'re happy. Now that\'s what I call being a success. I don\'t know about you.
So this poor guy is thinking, sadly, that he isn\'t a success like his classmates. Nobody has ever told him that having a good job, and being famous, and having a great reputation, has absolutely nothing to do with happiness, or success. Nothing.
It\'s totally irrelevant. And so he\'s worried about what his children will think about him. What will the neighbors think about him?
What will his wife think? He should have become famous. That\'s what your society and your culture is drilling into your head, day and night, and so is mine.
People who made it. Made what? Made asses of themselves.
Because they drained all their energy in getting something that was worthless. And they\'re frightened, and they\'re confused, and they\'re puppets like the rest. Look at them strutting across the stage.
Look how upset they\'d get if they had a stain on their shirt. You call that a success? Look how frightened they are at the prospect that they may not be re-elected.
You call that a success? So controlled. So manipulated.
These are not happy people. These are miserable people. They don\'t enjoy life.
They\'re constantly tense and anxious. You call that human? And do you know why that happened?
There\'s only one reason. They identified with some label. They identified the I.

 That was their error. With their money, with their job, with their profession. Heard about the lawyer who says to a plumber, when he\'s looking at the plumber\'s bill, he says, hey, you\'re charging nearly two hundred dollars an hour.
Even I don\'t make that kind of money as a lawyer. And the plumber said, even I didn\'t make that kind of money when I was a lawyer. Right.
So. So you could be a plumber or a lawyer or a businessman or a priest that does not affect essential I. It doesn\'t affect you.
I change my profession tomorrow. That\'s like changing my clothes. I is untouched. Are you your clothes? Are you your name? Are you your profession?
Stop identifying with that because that will come and go. You know what happens when you really understand this? No criticism can act.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 020
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 11:35)
affect you. No flattery or praise can affect you either. When someone says you\'re a great guy, what\'s he talking about?
He\'s talking about me. He\'s not talking about I. I is neither great nor small.
I is neither successful nor a failure. It is none of these labels. These things come and go.
These things depend on the criteria that your society establishes. These things depend on your conditioning. These things depend on the mood of the person who happens to be talking to you right now.
They have nothing to do with I. I is none of these labels. Me is generally selfish, foolish, childish and a great big ass.
So when you say you\'re an ass, so you\'re telling me, ha ha, I\'ve known it for years. That guy there, the conditioned self, the conditioned self, what could you expect? I\'ve known it for years.
Why did you identify with him? Silly. That isn\'t I.
That\'s me. Now, here are those important minutes I was telling you about. You want to be happy?
Uninterruptedly. Happiness is unpaused. Try to understand that.
Happiness, true happiness, is uncaused. You cannot make me happy. You are not my happiness.
You say to the awakened person, why are you happy? And the awakened person replies, why not? Happiness is our natural state.
Happiness is the natural state of little children to whom the kingdom belongs. Until they have been polluted and contaminated by the stupidities of our societies and our cultures, to acquire happiness you don\'t have to do anything because happiness cannot be acquired. Does anybody know why?
Because you have it already. How can you acquire what you already have? Then why don\'t you experience it?
Because you\'ve got to drop something. You\'ve got to drop an illusion. You don\'t have to add anything on to be happy.
You\'ve got to drop something. Life is easy. Life is delightful.

 It\'s only rough on your illusions. You\'ve got illusions. You\'ve got ambitions. You\'ve got greed. You\'ve got cravings. You know where they come from?
From your having identified with all kinds of labels here. So you\'re miserable. Drop that and you\'ll know what happiness means.
Enemy number one of happiness, negative feelings. Later I\'ll talk about enemy number two, attachments and cravings. They\'re basically the same thing because your negative feelings come from your cravings, don\'t they?
And your attachments. All right. Now the first thing you need to do later after the break I\'ll give you a little exercise and maybe we\'ll field a few questions and stuff but let me get this thing finished first.
Then we\'ll deal with the questions. The first thing you need to do is get in touch with those negative feelings if you\'re not even aware of them. You\'re not going to drop them.
Lots of people have negative feelings they\'re not even aware of. Lots of people are depressed and they\'re not aware they\'re depressed. It\'s only when they make contact with joy that they understand how depressed they were.
You\'re not going to be able to deal with a cancer that you haven\'t detected. You\'re not going to get rid of wolves in your farm if you\'re not aware of their existence. So the first thing you need is awareness of your negative feelings.
What kind of negative feelings? Gloominess for instance. You\'re feeling gloomy and moody.
You feel self-dislike and self-hate or guilt. You feel that life is pointless, makes no sense. You\'ve got hurt feelings.
You\'re feeling nervous. You\'re feeling tense. Get in touch with those feelings first. Second step. This is a four-step program. Second step.
Understand that the feeling is in you. It\'s not in reality. Now that\'s such a self-evident thing.
Do you think people know that? They don\'t. Believe me.
They\'ve got PhDs. They\'re presidents of universities. They haven\'t understood this.
They didn\'t teach me how to live at school. They taught me everything else. Like the guy who said, well I got a pretty good education and it took me years to get rid of it, to get over it.

 Yes, you really need it. That\'s what spirituality is all about, you know. Unlearning.
Unlearning. Unlearning all the rubbish they taught you. Now that negative feeling is in you.
It\'s not in reality. So stop trying to change reality and our bosses and our friends and our enemies and everybody else and everything else. You don\'t have to change anything.
The negative feeling is in you. No person on earth has the power to make you unhappy. Want me to repeat that?
It\'s very important. There is no event on earth that has the power to disturb you or to hurt you. No event.
No condition. No situation. No person.
Only nobody told you this. They told you the opposite. That is why you\'re in the mess that you are in right now.
That is why you\'re asleep. They never told you this. But it\'s self-evident. Rain washes out a picnic. Who\'s feeling negative? The rain or you?
What\'s causing the negative feeling? The rain or your reaction? When you bump your knee against that chair there or against the table, the table\'s okay.
It\'s busy being what it was meant to be, a table. The pain is in your knee, not in the table. And it\'s a funny thing, you know.
The mystics keep telling us again and again, reality is all right. Reality is not problematic. Problems only exist in the human mind, we might add, in the stupid asleep human mind.
Reality is not problematic. Take away human beings from this planet and life would go on and nature would go on in all her loveliness and her violence. Where would the problem be?
No problem. You created the problem. You are the problem.
You identified with the me. This is the problem. So understand that the feeling is in you, not in reality.
Step three. Third step. Never, ever identify with that feeling.
It has nothing to do with the I. Don\'t define your essential self in terms of those feelings. Don\'t say, I am depressed.
You want to say it is depressed, that\'s okay. You want to say depression is there, that\'s

 fine. You want to say gloominess is there, that\'s fine.
But not I am gloomy. You\'re defining yourself in terms of that feeling. That\'s your illusion. That\'s your mistake. You watch it. There is a depression there right now.
There is a hurt feeling there right now. Let it be. Leave it alone.
It\'ll pass. Everything passes. But everything.
Your depressions and your thrills have nothing to do with happiness. Your depressions and your thrills have nothing to do with your happiness. Those are the swings of the pendulum.
I told you yesterday, if you\'re seeking kicks, you\'re seeking thrills, get ready for the depression. You want your drug? Get ready for the hangover.
One end of the pendulum swings to the other. This has nothing to do with I. This has nothing to do with happiness.
This is the me. You know, if you remember this, if you say this to yourself a thousand times, if you try these three steps a thousand

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 021
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 11:34)
Maybe you won\'t even need to do it three times. I don\'t know. There\'s no rule for it.
But do it a thousand times. You\'ll make the biggest discovery in your life. To hell with those gold mines in Alaska.
What are you going to do with that gold? If you\'re not happy. If you can\'t live. You found gold. You\'re a king. You\'re a princess.
You\'re free. You don\'t care anymore about being accepted or rejected. Makes no difference.
You know this thing that psychologists tell us? About how important it is to get a sense of belonging? Baloney.
What do you want to belong to anybody for? What do you want to belong to any group for? Doesn\'t matter anymore.
They tell me there\'s an African tribe. A friend of mine told me that just three or four days ago. There\'s an African tribe.
There is an African tribe. Where capital punishment means you\'re ostracized. You\'re thrown out of the tribe.
And the man dies. Or the woman dies. Just dies.
Physically. From the impact of that feeling. That they\'re ostracized.
You know, if you were kicked out of New York City, or wherever you\'re residing, you wouldn\'t die. How come he dies? Because he partakes of the common stupidity of humanity.
He thinks he wouldn\'t be able to live if he did not belong. Not much different from most people, is it? He\'s convinced he needs to belong.
You don\'t need to belong to anybody. You don\'t need to belong to anything or any group who told you that. You don\'t need to be loved.
Who fooled you? What you need is to be free. What you need is to love.
That, yes. That\'s your nature. What you need is to be happy.
But to be loved? What are you talking about? What you\'re really telling me is you want to

 be desired.
You idiot. You want to be applauded. You want to be attractive.
You want to have all the little monkeys running after you. You\'re wasting your life. Wake up.
Wake up. You don\'t need this. You could be blissfully happy without this.
Your society is not going to be happy to hear this, you know. Because you become terrifying when you open your eyes and understand this. How do you control this kind of person?
He doesn\'t need you. He\'s not threatened by your criticism. He doesn\'t care what you think of him or what you say about him.
He\'s cut all those strings. He\'s not a puppet anymore. He\'s terrifying. We\'ve got to get rid of him. Crucify him. He tells the truth.
He\'s become fearless. He stopped being human. Human.
Behold the human being. At last. Broke out of his slavery.
Broke out of their prison. Quick summary. First step.
Get in touch with that negative feeling. It\'s so simple a child could do it. Try it about a dozen times today.
I\'ll give you a couple of exercises after the break. Get in touch with that negative feeling. B.
Don\'t try to change reality. Oh, I\'m not saying you won\'t do something later on. But first of all, let\'s make sure that you\'re at peace.
Let\'s make sure that you\'re awake. Let\'s make sure that you\'re not acting, going out in social work from your illusions. Let\'s make sure that you\'re real.
Now. We may change things or we may not. But what you have to understand is that the negative feeling is in you.
Not in the events. No event justifies a negative feeling. Period.
Get that one. There is no situation in the world that justifies a negative feeling. That\'s what all our mystics have been crying themselves hoarse to tell us.
But nobody hears. The negative feeling is in you. The Bhagavad Gita, the sacred book of the Hindus.

 Lord Krishna says to Arjuna, marvelous sentence. Plunge into the heat of battle and keep your heart at the lotus feet of the Lord. Keep your heart at peace at the lotus feet of the Lord.
Plunge into the heat of battle. Because as some of you probably know, the book is set on a battleground. Extraordinary symbolism there.
Do I run away from the battle? Do I fight my relatives? Go right ahead.
Do your duty. But your heart is unaffected. The I is unaffected.
So, the negative feeling is in you. Understand that. Put the focus where it belongs.
Stop blaming other people. There are people in your situation who would not react negatively. How about that now?
You know, you notice a funny thing happening to you. You think you\'re really going crazy because you know what you\'re going to be doing after a while? Seeking out the company of people whom you avoided before.
Because they created negative feelings in you. You\'re going to be saying, let\'s see if he creates a negative feeling in me now. He doesn\'t.
He doesn\'t. Glory be to God. That\'s the kind of thing you\'re going to be doing.
You\'re going to go out into the lanes, the byroads, the hedges, and bring in the lame and the crippled and the blind and the dumb. You\'re bringing them all in. Bring them all in.
There\'s room for everybody. Remember that sentence I said to you yesterday? To include, be excluded.
To return love for hate. Easiest thing in the world. If you understand that the negative feeling is in you.
Third step. Don\'t ever identify with that feeling. That feeling isn\'t you.
It has nothing to do with you. Later, we\'ll find out where it comes from. It\'s the result of your conditioning.
It\'s humiliating to realize, perhaps, that you were trained to react that way. You were trained to react that way, for heaven\'s sake. All right, that\'ll do.
Let\'s take a 20-minute break. And then you can ask all the questions you want. This is the end of the fifth tape.
This is the sixth tape of the New York Conference\'s Wake Up to Life by Father Anthony DeMello. That was a four-point program, wasn\'t it? And I gave you only three.

 I can see you\'re quite eager to get the fourth point. That\'s very encouraging for the speaker, you know. All right.
So remember, we said point one, identify the negative feeling. If you would drop it, you would be happy. You don\'t even need to drop it to be happy.
Happiness is your state of being. You don\'t have to do anything to acquire happiness. The great maester, Eckhart, said very beautifully, God is not attained by a process of addition to anything in the soul, but by a process of subtraction.
You don\'t do anything to be free. You drop something. Then you\'re free.
I\'m reminded of the Irish prisoner who dug a tunnel under the prison, managed to escape. He comes out right in the middle of a school playground with his little children playing. And of course, when he emerges from the tunnel, he couldn\'t restrain himself anymore.
He began to jump up and down and said, I\'m free, I\'m free, I\'m free. And there was a little girl there who looks at him scornfully and she says, that\'s nothing, I\'m four. So you drop something.
You drop your prison cage and you\'re free. You don\'t do anything. You drop your illusions and you\'re awake.
You drop your attachment and you are love. You are sensitive. You are conscious.
You\'re in touch with all of life. You drop your misconceptions, your negativities, and you have happiness. The other thing that you acquire isn\'t happiness at all.
Those are thrills. That\'s your drug. And I\'m sure it has occurred to some of you to think, wouldn\'t it be a dull life with no cravings and no thrills?
Wouldn\'t that be dull? That\'s right, the addict always feels that life would be dull without the drug. When you taste it, you\'ll understand.
So, step number one, get in touch with those negative feelings. Identify them. Step two, understand that those feelings are in you, in the me, not in the external world, not in other people.
Step three.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 022
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 11:33)
Never identify the I with those feelings. Feelings come and go. Just as I am NOT my thoughts, I am NOT my body cells, I am NOT my clothes, I am NOT my name, I am NOT my profession, I am NOT these feelings, I am NOT depressed.
Depression exists right now. There, within me, I observe it. I watch it.
And let it be. Stop trying to fix it. Let it be.
It\'s alright. Someday you will understand it. And that\'s the fourth point.
How about change? How about changing things? How about changing ourselves?
Now there are many things you have to understand here, or basically just one thing, but could be expressed in many ways. Imagine a doctor, a patient goes to a doctor and tells the doctor what he is suffering from. And the doctor says, very well, I\'ve understood your symptoms.
You know what I\'ll do? I\'ll prescribe a medicine for your neighbor. And the patient replies, thank you very much doctor, that makes me feel much better.
Isn\'t that absurd? Isn\'t that absurd? That\'s what we\'re all doing.
Repeatedly people are doing this. The sleeper always feels that he\'ll feel much better if somebody else changes. You\'re suffering because you\'re asleep.
And you think, how wonderful life would be if somebody else changed. How wonderful life would be if my neighbor changed, my wife changed, my husband changed, my boss changed. There\'s that lovely Zen couplet written by one of the great masters.
I sometimes make an exercise out of it, but we\'re not going to have time to do it here. When we have these longer courses of eight or nine days, then we can afford that kind of luxury. The man says, if my grumbling wife were alive tonight, I would have enjoyed the sight of the moon.
If my grumbling wife had been alive tonight, how I would have enjoyed the sight of the moon. We better not go too deep into that one. Well, we always want somebody else to change so that we will feel good.
But has it ever struck you that if your wife changes or your husband changes, what does that do to you? You\'re just as vulnerable as before. You\'re just as idiotic as before.
You\'re just as asleep as before. It\'s you who need to change. It\'s you who need to take

 the medicine.
So there\'s always the feeling of, I feel good because the world is right. Wrong. The world is right because I feel good.
That\'s what all the mystics are saying. When you awake, when you understand, when you see the world becomes right. We\'re always bothered, aren\'t we, by the problem of evil.
That extraordinary, powerful story of the little kid who\'s walking in a jungle village in Africa along the bank of a river and sees a crocodile who\'s been trapped in a net. And the crocodile says, would you have pity on me and release me? I may look ugly, but it isn\'t my fault, you know, I was made this way.
And whatever my external experience, I\'ve got a mother\'s heart. I came out this morning in search of food for my young ones and I got into this trap. And the boy says, aha, if I were to help you out of that trap, you\'d kill me.
You\'d grab me. And the crocodile says, do you think I\'d do that to my benefactor and liberator? So the boy was persuaded and he took the net off and the crocodile grabbed.
There he was caught between the jaws of the crocodile and he says, so this is what I get for my good action. And the crocodile says, well, don\'t take it personally, son. This is the way the world is.
This is the law of life. And the boy says, this is not the way the world is. This is not the law of life.
And the crocodile says, you want to ask someone? He says, he\'s a bird sitting up on a branch. And he says, bird, this is what the crocodile says.
What have you to say? The bird says, the crocodile is right. Look at me.
I was coming home one day with food for my fledgling. And imagine my horror as I was coming back to my nest to see a snake crawling up that tree, making straight for my nest. And I was totally helpless while it kept devouring my young ones one after the other.
I kept screaming and shouting, but it was useless. The crocodile is right. This is the law of life.
This is the way the world is. See, said the crocodile. Come, let\'s go.
The boy said, well, let me ask someone else. And the crocodile said, all right, go ahead. And there was an old donkey passing by the bank of that river.

 And he said, donkey, this is what the crocodile says. Is the crocodile right? And the donkey said, the crocodile is quite right.
Look at me. I\'ve worked and slaved for my master all my life. And he barely gave me enough to eat.
And now that I\'m old and useless, he has turned me loose. And here I am wandering in the jungle, waiting for some wild beast to pounce on me and put an end to my life. The crocodile is right.
This is the law of life. This is the way the world is. See, says the crocodile, let\'s go.
The boy said, give me one chance, one last chance. Let me ask one other being. Look how good I was to you.
So the crocodile said, all right, your last chance. And the boy sees a rabbit passing by and he says, rabbit, is the crocodile right? The rabbit sits on its haunches and says to the crocodile, did you say that to that kid?
And the crocodile said, yes, I did. He said, wait a minute now. We\'ve got to discuss that.
The crocodile said, go right ahead. And the rabbit said, how could we discuss it if you\'ve got that boy in your mouth? Release him.
He\'s got to take part in the discussion too. The crocodile says, you\'re a clever one you are. The moment I release him, he\'ll run away.
And the rabbit said, I thought you had more sense than that. If he attempted to run away, one slash of your tail would kill him. Fair enough, said the crocodile.
So he released the boy. And the moment the boy was released, the rabbit said, run! And he ran and escaped.
Then said the rabbit to the boy, don\'t you enjoy crocodile flesh? Don\'t the people in your village, wouldn\'t they like to have a good meal? You know something?
You didn\'t really release that crocodile. Most of his body still caught in the net. Why don\'t you go to the village and bring everybody and have a banquet?
So that\'s exactly what the boy did. He went to the village, called all the men folk. They came with their axes and staves and spears to kill the crocodile.
And the boy\'s dog came with him. And when the dog saw the rabbit, he gave chase, caught hold of the rabbit and throttled it. And the boy comes panting on the scene too late.
And as he watches the rabbit die, he says, the crocodile was right. This is the way the

 world is. This is the law of life.
And there\'s no explanation you could give that would explain away all the suffering and the evil and the torture and the destruction and the hunger in the world. You\'ll never explain it. You\'re trying gamely with your formulas, religious and otherwise, but you never explain it.
Because life is a mystery, which means your thinking mind, it cannot make sense out of it. For that, you\'ve got to wake up. And you suddenly realize that reality is not problematic.
You are the problem. The scriptures are always hinting at that, but you will never get it. Because you won\'t understand a word of what the scriptures are saying till you wake up.
Sleeping people read the scriptures and crucify the messiah on the basis of them. You\'ve got to wake up to make sense out of the scriptures. But you know something, when you do wake up, they make sense.
So does reality. But you\'d never be able to put it into words. Now, wouldn\'t you do something?
Wouldn\'t you swing into action? Of course, you\'d swing into action. But we\'ve got to make sure that you\'re not swinging into action to get rid of your negative feeling.
Am I making sense? Lots of people swing into action and only make things worse, you know, because they\'re not coming from love. They\'re coming from negative feelings.
They\'re coming from guilt, from anger, from hate, from a sense of injustice, or whatever. We\'ve got to make sure of that first.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 023
[Speaker 1] (0:02 - 11:35)
We\'ve got to make sure of your being before you swing into action. You\'ve got to make sure of who you are before we see what you do. And unfortunately, when sleeping people swing into action, they just substitute one cruelty with another, one injustice with another, and so it goes on.
Maester Rekha, again, says so powerfully, it is not by your actions that you will be saved or awakened, call it any word you want, but by your being. It is not by what you do, but by what you are that you will be judged. Of course, what good is it to you to feed the hungry and give drink to the thirsty and visit the prisoners in jail?
Remember that sentence? I could give my body to be burnt and all my goods to feed the poor, but if I have not love, aha, that\'s important. Not your actions, not your actions, forget it.
It\'s your being. Then you might get into action or you might not get into action. You can\'t decide that till you know, till you understand, till you\'re awake.
And unfortunately, all the emphasis is being put on changing the world and very little emphasis on waking you up. When you wake up, you will know what to do or what not to do. Some of the mystics are very strange, you know, like that man Jesus who says, I wasn\'t sent to those people.
I just limit myself to what I\'m supposed to do right now. Later, maybe. Some of them go into silence mysteriously.
Some of them sing songs. Some of them get into service. We\'re never sure.
They\'re a law unto themselves. They know exactly what is to be done. Get into the heat of battle.
Keep your heart at the lotus feet of the Lord, as I said to you this morning. So, see what happens to us when we\'re asleep. It\'s like, I said to you before, the world is good or the world is right because you feel good.
Imagine that you\'re unwell and you\'re in a foul mood and they\'re taking you through some lovely countryside, beautiful landscape, but you\'re not in the mood for seeing anything. Another day, you pass by the same place and you say, God heavens, where was I that I didn\'t notice all of this? Everything becomes beautiful when you change.
You\'re looking at the trees and the mountains through windows that are wet with the rain and a storm and everything looks blurred and shapeless and you want to go right

 out there and change those trees and change those mountains. Wait a minute. Let\'s examine your window.
When the storm ceases and the rain stops and you look out of the window, you say, well, how different everything looks. Because we see people and things, not as they are, but as we are. And it\'s so important to understand that.
That is why when two people look at something or look at someone, you get two different reactions. We see things and people not as they are, but as we are. Remember that sentence about everything turning to good for those who love God.
When you awake, you don\'t try to make good things happen. They just happen. It just happens because you understand suddenly that everything that happens to you is good.
Marvelous. So think of the people you\'re living with and whom you want to change. You find them moody, inconsiderate, unreliable, treacherous or whatever.
When you are different, they will be different. That\'s an infallible and miraculous cure. The day you are different, they will become different.
You will see them differently. He seemed so terrifying. He\'s actually frightened. She seems so rude. I am actually frightened. Or whatever.
We suddenly see things differently. All of a sudden, no one has the power to hurt you anymore. No one has the power to put pressure on you.
It\'s a marvelous state. You\'re putting pressure on me. You know, it\'s something like this.
It\'s like you leave a book on the table and I pick it up and I say, you\'re pressing this book on me. Not pressing any book on me. You\'re doing your thing.
It\'s up to me to pick it up or not to pick it up. But people never understood that. They\'re so busy accusing everybody else, blaming everyone else, blaming life, blaming society, blaming their neighbor.
You never change that way. You continue in your nightmare. You never wake up.
So if you would put this program into action, as I said to you this morning, a thousand times. A, identify the negative feelings. B, understand that they are in you, not in the world, not in external reality.
C, do not say that that is an essential part of I. These things come and go. D, understand that when you change, everything changes.
That still leaves us with the big question, how do I change? Do I do anything to change myself? I\'m going to leave that for a little later.

 Let me give you a two-minute exercise, give you a little discussion, field a few questions, because I\'ve done so much talking this morning. Then we\'ll move on to, do I do anything to change myself? Got a big surprise for you.
Lots of good news, even better news. You don\'t have to do anything. The more you do, the worse it gets.
All you have to do is understand. What you understand will change, will always change. But more about that later, after this little exercise.
This sounds like a commercial almost, doesn\'t it? Now, let\'s try this one. Get in touch with yourself for a few seconds.
Become aware of your presence in this room. Become aware of the kind of thoughts that are going on within you. Think of somebody you\'re living with, or you\'re working with, whom you do not like, who causes negative feelings to arise within you.
Now, let\'s help you to understand that, to understand what\'s going on. First, the first thing you need to understand is that the negative feeling is in you. You are responsible for the negative feeling, not the other person.
Somebody else in your place would be perfectly calm and at ease. In the presence of this person, wouldn\'t be affected. You are.
Now, understand another thing. You\'re making a demand there. You have an expectation of this person.
Can you get in touch with that? Now, say to this person, I have no right to make any demand on you. Because as you say that, you will drop your expectation.
I have no right to make.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 024
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 2:22)
demands on you. Oh, I\'ll protect myself from the consequences of your actions or your moods or whatever, but you could go right ahead and be what you choose to be. I have no right to make any demands on you.
See what happens to you when you do this. And if there\'s a resistance to saying that, my, how much you\'re going to discover about your me, ha-ha. Does the dictator come out?
Does the tyrant come out? You thought you were such a little lamb, didn\'t you? I\'m a tyrant, you\'re a tyrant.
Little variety from I\'m an ass, you\'re an ass. I\'m a dictator, you\'re a dictator. I want to run your life for you.
I want to tell you exactly how you\'re expected to be and how you\'re expected to behave. And you\'d better behave as I have decided you have to behave or else I shall punish myself by having negative feelings. That sounds so wise, doesn\'t it?
Remember what I told you? Everybody\'s a lunatic. Now you\'re catching on.
Okay, give it a few seconds more and we\'ll call a halt to the exercise. That will do. Okay, let\'s have those questions.
Do you have any questions? Yes.
[Speaker 2] (2:24 - 3:09)
Yesterday when I got home, I found out that my son got a reward, I mean an award from him in high school. He got an award for excellence in academics. I was happy for him that he did that.
But I was almost tempted to say no glory in that award because it\'s setting you up for the time when you cannot perform as well. So I\'m at a dilemma right now. How am I to prevent the same thing happening to him that this happened to me without bursting his bubble at this time?
[Speaker 1] (3:12 - 11:14)
Hopefully he\'ll learn as you yourself grow in wisdom. It\'s not a matter of anything you say to him, but something that eventually you will become and he will understand. Then you will know what to say and when.

 That award, the result of cruelty, the result of competition built on hatred of oneself and of others. Ever thought of that? You get a good feeling on the basis of somebody getting a bad feeling.
You win over somebody else. Isn\'t that terrible? Taken for granted in the lunatic asylum.
There\'s an American doctor who wrote about the results of competition on his life. He said he went to medical school in Switzerland and he said there was a fairly large contingent of Americans at that school. He said some of us went into shock when we realized that there were no grades and there were no awards and there was no marks list.
There was no first or second rank at medical school. You either passed or you did not. So he said some of us simply couldn\'t take it.
We became kind of paranoid. We thought there must be some kind of a trick here. And he says they couldn\'t take it so they went to another university.
They went to another school. He said those of us who survived that suddenly discovered a strange thing that we had never noticed at our American universities. Students, brilliant ones, helping one another to pass.
Sharing notes. Hey, you might want to read this. He says my son goes to medical school in the States now and he tells me that in the practicals people frequently skew up the microscope so that it will take the next guy three or four minutes to rearrange it.
They got to get ahead. Competition. They got to succeed.
They got to be perfect. And he tells a lovely little story which he says is real but it could serve as a beautiful parable of a little town in the States where people gathered off an evening to make music. You had a saxophonist and a drummer and a violinist and mostly old people.
They got together for the company and for the sheer joy of making music though they didn\'t make it very well. Why do you have to do things well? Do them enjoyably, not well.
So they were enjoying themselves having a great time till they decided they\'d get a new conductor who had a lot of go and a lot of ambition and a lot of drive and he said hey folks we got to make a concert. We\'ve got to prepare a concert for the town. So then he gradually got rid of some of the people who didn\'t play too well, hired a couple of musicians, got an orchestra into shape and they got their names into the newspaper.
Wasn\'t that wonderful? And then they decided they\'d go to the big city and play there. And some of the older people had tears in their eyes as they thought well it was so wonderful in the old days when we did things badly and enjoyably.

 Cruelty came in but nobody recognized it as cruelty. See how lunatic people have got. Oh oh all right.
What\'s the meaning of that sentence I added? About I\'ll protect myself. You go ahead and be yourself.
That\'s all right. But I\'ll be myself. In other words, I won\'t allow you to manipulate me.
I\'ll live my life. I\'ll go my way. I leave myself free to think my thoughts and to follow my inclinations and my tastes.
And I\'ll say no to you. And if I think I don\'t want to be in your company, that\'ll be fine. But it won\'t be because of any negative feelings that you cause in me because you don\'t anymore.
You don\'t have any more power over me. But I just might prefer other people\'s company. And when you say to me how about a movie tonight?
And I say sorry I want to go with someone else. I enjoy his company more than yours. That\'s all right.
Just say no to people. That\'s wonderful. That\'s part of waking up.
Part of waking up is that you would live your life as you see fit and understand that that is not selfish. The selfish thing is to demand that someone else live their lives as you see fit. Ah, that\'s selfish.
My, that\'s a big sentence to take in in a few minutes. You probably need a whole day for that. It is not selfish to live your life as you see fit.
The selfishness lies in demanding that someone else live their life to suit your taste or your pride or your profit or your pleasure. That is selfish indeed. So I\'ll protect myself.
I don\'t feel obligated to be with you. I don\'t feel obligated to say yes to you. If I find that your company is pleasant, fine.
I\'ll enjoy it without clinging to it. Ah, and I no longer avoid you because of any negative feelings you create. You don\'t have that power anymore.
Many other hands going up. Yes, John. Well, it all depends on what you mean by surprise.
When you don\'t expect something and it happens, you feel surprised. But I think what you\'re describing there, John, is a thrill. Would you be thrilled?
I doubt it. You wouldn\'t want drugs anymore. You lose your taste for them.

 Every minute is so enjoyable that you wouldn\'t go in for kicks. You know the way some people just don\'t have a taste for drugs. Others do.
How would you describe a surprise? Oh, surprise means, gee, I didn\'t expect that today\'s session would be cancelled. It was, I\'m surprised.
As Webster is reported to have said to his wife, I think she said she caught him kissing the maid and she said she was very surprised. Now, Webster, who was a stickler for using words accurately, understandably, he wrote a dictionary. He said, no, my dear, I am surprised.
You are astonished.
[Speaker 3] (11:34 - 11:35)
This is the second time I\'ve been asked this question.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 025
[Speaker 2] (0:00 - 0:05)
Seventh tape of the New York Conferences, Wake Up to Life, by Father Anthony DeMello.
[Speaker 1] (0:07 - 2:28)
Yes, how many people are asking questions about what will happen when we wake up? Why bother? Let\'s wake up.
Does it matter to you so much that you be awakened? That\'s awful. You know what you\'re going to do now?
You\'re going to make that a goal. And you\'re going to be determined to get there. And you\'re going to say, I refuse to be happy until I\'m awakened.
So it\'s okay to be the way you are and be aware of the way you are. Because awareness is happiness. But you won\'t understand that right now, probably.
And you\'ll understand that you reacted so quickly because you were not aware. And you\'ll understand that there are times when you react even in awareness. But as awareness grows, you react less and you act more.
You come less from here and more from here. And it really doesn\'t matter. You know, there\'s the story of a disciple who says to his guru that he\'s going to go to some place and meditate and hopefully attain enlightenment.
So he sends him a note every six months to report the progress that he\'s making. And the first report says, now I understand what it means to lose the self. The guru tore that up and threw it in the waste paper basket.
Then he gets another report after six months which says, now I have attained the sensitivity to all beings, torn up. Then another report says, now I understand the secret of the one in the many, torn up. And so it goes on for years until finally no reports come in.
No more reports. So the guru becomes curious and one day when there\'s a traveler going by that side, he says to him, why don\'t you find out what happened to that guy? And he gets a note from the guy saying, what does it matter?
And when the guru gets that, he says, now he made it! [Speaker 2] (2:28 - 2:30)
He made it! He made it!

 [Speaker 1] (2:30 - 3:18)
He got it. He got it. Another one about the soldier who on a battlefield would drop his rifle and pick up a scrap of paper and look at it and then he would let it fall from his hands.
It would flutter to the ground. And then he\'d go somewhere else and pick up a scrap of paper and let it fall to the ground. And they said, this man\'s exposing himself to death.
He needs help. So they put him in hospital. They get the best psychiatrist to work on him.
But it seems to have no effect. He wanders around the wards. He picks up scraps of paper.
He looks at them idly, lets them flutter to the ground. In the end they say, we\'ve got to discharge this guy. We\'ve got to discharge him.
So they call him in and they give him a certificate kind of discharging him. And he picks it up idly and looks at it.
[Speaker 2] (3:18 - 3:20)
He says, this is it! This is it!
[Speaker 1] (3:26 - 11:35)
That\'s right. What does it matter? So begin to be aware of your present condition.
Whatever that condition is, stop being a dictator. I\'ll have to talk about that this afternoon. And trying to push yourself anywhere.
And someday you will understand how in that awareness you have attained it. But you didn\'t know it. But that will come gradually.
Be aware. And I\'ll explain to you this afternoon how awareness will bring the change. Where does compassion come in?
Where does guilt come in? You will know when you\'re awake. If you\'re guilty right now, how on earth could I explain that to you?
And how would you know what compassion is? You know, sometimes people want to imitate Christ. When a monkey plays the saxophone, that doesn\'t make him a musician.
It really doesn\'t. You can\'t imitate Christ by imitating his external behavior. You\'ve got to be Christ.

 Then you know exactly what to do in a given situation. Given your temperament. Given your character.
Given your situation. Given the character and temperament of the person you\'re dealing with. You know exactly what to do.
No one can tell you. But for that you must become. You must be what Christ was.
You will know. But merely external imitation will get you nowhere. You may think that compassion is softness.
There\'s no way I could describe compassion to you. There\'s absolutely no way. Compassion can be very hard.
Compassion can be very rude. Compassion can jolt you. Compassion can roll its sleeves up and operate on you.
There are all kinds of things. Compassion can be very soft. There\'s no way of knowing.
It\'s only when you become love, in other words, when you have dropped your illusions and your attachments, that you will know. As you identify less and less with the me, you\'re more at ease with everybody and with everything. Do you know why?
Because you are no longer afraid of being hurt or not liked or being left. And you no longer desire to impress anyone. Can you imagine the relief when you don\'t have to impress anybody anymore?
Oh, what a relief. Happiness at last. And as I said to you this morning, you don\'t feel the need or the compulsion to explain anything anymore.
It\'s all right. What\'s there to be explained? And you don\'t feel the need or the compulsion to apologize anymore.
What could you expect of an ass? He behaved like an ass. Now, what I need to tell you, well, you don\'t even feel the need to say that, but if anything had to be said, I\'d much rather hear you say, you know, I\'ve come awake.
Than hear you say, I\'m sorry. I\'d much rather hear you say to me, I\'ve come awake since we last met. Won\'t happen again.
Than to hear you say, I\'m so sorry. Why would I demand an apology from you? Ever thought of that?
Why would anyone demand an apology? Ah, there you\'ve got something to explore. You\'re thinking of someone?
Mean to you. Nobody was mean to you. You missed that.

 Somebody was mean to what he thought or she thought was you. But not you. Nobody ever rejects you.
You\'re just rejecting what they think you are. If you choose to pick that up, that\'s your responsibility. But that cuts both ways, you know.
Nobody ever accepts you either. Ever thought of that one? Until somebody is awake, that\'s the way they\'re behaving.
They\'re accepting or rejecting their image of you. They\'ve fashioned an image of you and they\'re rejecting that or they\'re accepting that. See, devastating to go deeply into that.
A bit too liberating. Very liberating. Somebody talked about compassion.
How easy it is to love people when you understand it. How easy it is to love everyone when you don\'t identify with this or what they think this is. You don\'t identify so easy to love them.
To love everybody. Yes, did you understand me to say the thinking I and the feeling me? Oh, I observing me.
But not thinking. Because me does a lot of bad thinking and good thinking too. But when I watches me, I is constantly aware.
This is a reflection. In reality, you don\'t really think of I and me. In reality, you\'re like that driver.
Driving the car who doesn\'t want to lose consciousness of the car ever. Now, are you telling me you want to go unconscious sometimes? It\'s alright to dream.
It\'s alright to have daydreams. But never lose consciousness of your surroundings. You\'re always alert.
You know, it\'s like a mother who would be sleeping. She doesn\'t hear the planes roaring above the house. But she hears the slightest whimper of the baby.
She\'s alert. She\'s awake in that sense. That\'s what I mean.
So you probably didn\'t quite get what I was hinting at. Or maybe I didn\'t explain it clearly enough. When a person\'s awake, the person\'s awake.
Let\'s get there. Then we\'ll know. One may not say anything about the awakened state.
One can only talk about the sleeping state. One hints at the awakened state. One may not say anything about happiness.
Happiness cannot be defined. What can be defined is misery. Unhappiness.

 Drop that and you will know. Love cannot be defined. Unlove can.
Drop unlove. Drop fear. And you will know.
Another hand up there. Yes. Yes.
Did anybody hear me say I don\'t favor meditation? No, that\'s alright. Meditation\'s okay.
In fact, that\'s what I\'m recommending the whole time. Yes. That\'s a good one.
Wouldn\'t this cause pain for the people around you who are still asleep? You\'re causing a lot of pain when you are asleep, you know. Plenty of it.
You want everybody to be awake. Good. Meaning yourself too.
Now that\'s a good place to start. Okay. Oh, you don\'t want to be awake.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 026
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 11:35)
Oh, you are? Congratulations. You\'ll know when you wake up.
Everybody\'s asking questions on what will happen when they arrive. Very few are really... Is this curiosity?
That\'s the word. Curiosity. It doesn\'t matter.
What\'s important is that you would have grasped what I\'m saying. But we\'re always asking, how would this fit into that system? Or would this make sense in that context?
Or what will it feel like when we get there? Get started. You will know.
It cannot be described. We cannot say. And so it is said so widely in the East, that those who know do not say.
Those who say do not know. It cannot be said. Only the opposite can be said.
The guru cannot give you truth, as I shall explain to you sooner or later. Truth cannot be put into words. You have a formula.
That isn\'t the truth. That isn\'t the reality. Reality cannot be put into a formula.
The guru can only point out your errors. When you drop your errors, you will know truth. And then you cannot say.
This is common teaching among the great Catholic mystics, the great Thomas Aquinas. Towards the end of his life, I thought he kept that famous silence of his for just a couple of months or something. It went on for years.
He wouldn\'t write. He wouldn\'t talk. He had seen.
And he realized that he had made a fool of himself. And he said so explicitly. It\'s like, if you\'ve never tasted a green mango, which are found in abundance in my country, and you said to me, what does it taste like?
And I\'d say to you. And in giving you a word, I put you off the track. Try to understand that.
Unless you\'re very wise, which most people are not. They seize upon the word. They seize upon the words of scripture.
And they\'ve got it all wrong. Sour. And you say vinegar sour.

 Oh, no, no, not vinegar sour. You say lemon sour. You say, no, no, not lemon sour. What sour? Mango sour. But I\'ve never tasted one.
Too bad. Then you go ahead and write a doctoral thesis on it. You wouldn\'t have if you had tasted it.
You really wouldn\'t. You\'d have written a doctoral thesis on other things, but not on this. And the day you taste the green mango, you say, God, I made a fool of myself.
I shouldn\'t have written that thesis. Exactly what Thomas Aquinas did. He read a whole book written by a great German philosopher and theologian precisely on the silence of St. Thomas. He just went silent. That\'s all. He wouldn\'t talk.
Wouldn\'t talk. The great foundation of his Summa Theologica, which was the summary of all his theology. In the prologue, he says about God.
We cannot say what he is, but rather what he is not. And so we cannot speak about how he is, but rather how he is not. And then he talks in his famous commentary of Boetius, the Trinitate on the Trinity.
And he says there are three ways of knowing God. One, in his creation. Two, in his action through creation.
And the highest form of the knowledge of God is to know him. To know that one does not know. The highest form.
Talking about the Trinity. To know that one does not know. Now, this is not an oriental Zen master.
This is a canonized saint of the Roman Catholic Church. The prince of theologians for centuries who\'s talking. To know him as unknown.
And in another place, he says as unknowable. I\'ll explain that to you possibly this afternoon. Why reality, God, divinity, truth, love is unknowable.
Meaning, cannot be comprehended by the thinking mind. I\'ll explain that to you. I\'ll show you why it is so.
And that will set at rest so many questions that people would have. Because we\'re always living under the illusion that we know. We don\'t.
We cannot know. What then is scripture? A hint.
A clue. Not a description, silly. The fanaticism of a sincere believer.
Causes more evil than the united efforts of 200 roads. It really does. It\'s terrifying to see

 what sincere believers will do.
Because they think they know. You don\'t. Wouldn\'t it be wonderful if we had a world where everybody said we don\'t know?
Wouldn\'t that be marvelous? We don\'t know. A man born blind who comes to me and says, what is this thing called reality?
Or rather, what\'s the color green? What\'s the color green like? And how does one describe the color green to someone who is born blind?
One uses analogy. One says, you know, the color green. It\'s something like soft music. He says, oh, something like soft music? Yeah, soothing. Soft.
Oh, okay. Another guy comes to me and says, what\'s the color green like? I say, you know, it\'s something like soft satin.
Very soft to the touch and soothing. He says, oh, I see. The next day I know they\'re bashing each other over the head with bottles.
One saying it\'s soft music. The other one says it\'s satin. And so it goes on.
And neither of them knows a thing of what they\'re talking about. Because if they did, they\'d shut up. It\'s as bad as that.
And it\'s even worse. Because one day you restore sight to this man. And he\'s sitting there in the garden and he\'s looking all around him.
And I say to him, well, now you know what the color green is. He says, that\'s right. I heard some of it this morning.
You know, you\'re surrounded by God and you don\'t see him because you know about him. That\'s why. The final barrier to the vision of God is God is your God concept.
You miss it because you think you know. That\'s the terrible thing about religion. That\'s what the Gospels are saying.
They knew, so they got rid of him. The highest knowledge of God is to know God as unknowable. There\'s far too much God talk.
The world is sick of it. There\'s too little awareness. Too little love.
Too little happiness. Or let\'s not use those words either. There\'s too little dropping of illusion, dropping of errors, dropping of attachments and cruelty.
Too little awareness. That\'s what the world is suffering from. Not lack of religion, lack of

 awareness, lack of waking up.
That\'s what religion is all about. That\'s what it\'s supposed to be about. Look what we degenerated into.
Come to my country and see them killing one another. You find it everywhere. This is what it ended up in.
So, the one who knows does not say. The one who says does not know. All revelations, however divine, are never anything more than a finger pointing to the moon.
And as we say in the East, when the sage points to the moon, all that the idiot sees is the finger. Jean Guitton, very pious, orthodox, Catholic writer in France, adds a terrifying comment. We frequently use the finger to gouge our eyes out.
Isn\'t that terrible? So, awareness, awareness, awareness. In awareness is healing.
In awareness is truth. In awareness is salvation. In awareness is spirituality.
In awareness is growth. In awareness is love. In awareness is awakening.
Awareness. I talked to you so far about awareness of what goes on in the self, the me. Why it is that when we look at a tree, we really don\'t see it.
We think we do, but we don\'t. When we look at a person, we don\'t really see that person. We think we do.
What we\'re seeing is something that we fixed in our minds. We get an impression.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 027
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 11:35)
We hold on to that impression and we keep looking at that person through that impression and we do this with almost everything. If you understand that then you will understand the loveliness and beauty of being aware also of everything around you because reality is there. God, whatever that is, is there.
It\'s all there. The little fish in the ocean. Excuse me, he says, I\'m looking for the ocean.
Could you tell me where I could find it? Pathetic, isn\'t it? So if we would open our eyes and see and realize then we would understand.
Let\'s get back to that business of me and I. There\'s that marvelous sentence in the Gospels and, well, one finds it in most religious literature and all religious and spiritual literature, mystical literature, about dying to the self, about denying oneself, about losing the self. Remember?
All right. How does one lose oneself? Ever tried to lose something?
That\'s right. The harder you try, the more difficult it gets if you really want to lose it. She says very well, when you\'re not trying, then you lose things.
You lose something when you\'re not aware. You drop it. Or how does one die to the self?
We\'re talking about death now, we\'re not talking about suicide. We\'re not told to kill the self, but to die and to deny the self. Does that mean one causes pain to the self?
One causes suffering to the self? But that would be self-defeating. That would be counterproductive.
You\'re never so full of yourself as when you\'re in pain. You\'re never so centered on yourself as when you\'re depressed. You\'re never so ready to forget yourself as when you\'re happy.
Happiness releases you from the self. It\'s suffering and pain and misery and depression that ties you to the self. Look how full you are of your tooth when you have a toothache.
When you have no toothache, you\'re not even aware you\'ve got a tooth. Or that you\'ve got a head for that matter when you have no headache. But it\'s so different when you have a splitting headache.
So it\'s quite false, quite erroneous to think that the way to deny the self is to cause pain to the self, to go in for abnegation, mortification as it was traditionally understood, and to cause suffering. To deny the self, to die to it, to lose it, is to understand its true

 nature. And it will disappear.
It will vanish. I frequently give the example of somebody who walks into my room one day and I say, come right in. May I know who you are?
He says, I am Napoleon. And I say, not precisely, Bonaparte. That\'s right.
Emperor of France. What do you know? And I\'m thinking to myself, I\'d better handle this guy with care.
Sit down, your majesty, says I. So he sits down and I say, what can I do for you? And he says, well, they tell me you\'re a pretty good spiritual director and I\'ve come up with a spiritual problem.
I\'m anxious. I\'m finding it hard to trust in God because I\'ve got my armies in Russia, see, and I\'m spending sleepless nights wondering how it\'s going to turn out. And I say, well, your majesty, I could certainly propose something for that.
What I suggest is that you read Matthew six, you know, look at the birds of the air, look at the lilies of the field. They\'re not anxious. They\'re not worried by this stage.
You\'re wondering by the time we get to this stage, you\'re wondering who is crazier, he or I, but I\'m going along with this lunatic. See, that\'s what the wise guru does with you in the beginning. He goes along with you.
He takes your troubles seriously. He\'ll wipe a tear or two from your eye because you\'re crazy, but you don\'t know it as yet. The time soon has to come when he\'ll pull the rug from under your feet and tell you, get off it.
You\'re not Napoleon. In those famous dialogues of Catherine of Siena, God is reported to have said to her, I am he who is, you are she who is not. Ever experienced your is notness?
In the East, we have an image for this, the image of the dancer and the dance. God is viewed as the dancer and creation as his dance. It isn\'t as if he is the big dancer and you are the little dancer.
Oh no, no, no, no, no, you got it all wrong. You\'re not a dancer at all. You are being danced.
Ever experienced that? When this guy comes to his senses and realizes that he is not Napoleon, he does not cease to be, he continues to be, but he suddenly realizes that he is something other than what he thought he was. Is that clear?
He realizes that he is something other than what he thought he was. To lose the self is to suddenly realize that you are something other than what you thought you were. You

 thought you were center.
Now you experience yourself as satellite. You thought you were dance, dancer. You now experience yourself as danced.
Now these are analogies. These are images. You cannot take them literally. They just give you a clue. They give you a hint. They\'re pointers.
Don\'t forget. So you cannot press them too much. Don\'t take them literally.
I\'ll come back to this idea again when we come back to the scriptures. The scriptures are mystical poetry. They\'re not scientific descriptions, but more about that when we come to the bible.
So the loss of the self. When you understand who, what you are, the self, the illusory self is lost. As a step to attaining that, to moving towards that, I suggest this.
Again, this is a kind of imagery. Now don\'t go around imagining that this I is another guy and me is another person. No, no, no, no, no.
These are ways of talking. But as you begin to understand the transitory nature, the transient nature of all these things that they keep attributing to you, you dissociate yourself increasingly from them. That\'s about the best you can do, I think.
To prepare the ground for the loss of the self, for the death to the self. To move on to another idea, this whole matter of one\'s personal worth, self-esteem, self-worth, where do you get it from? Do you get it from success in your work?
Do you get it from having a lot of money? Do you get it from attracting a lot of men if you\'re a woman or a lot of women if you are a man? How fragile that is.
How transitory. And when we talk about self-worth, are we not talking really about how we are reflected in the mirrors of other people\'s minds? Do we need to depend on that?
One understands one\'s worth, again, a way of talking, when one no longer identifies or defines oneself in terms of these transient things. One no longer does that. I\'m not beautiful because everyone says I\'m beautiful.
I\'m really neither beautiful nor ugly. These are things that come and go. I could be suddenly transformed into a very ugly creature tomorrow, but I is still I.
And then again after plastic surgery, I become beautiful. Does the I really become beautiful? See, you\'ll need to give a lot of time to reflect on these things.
I\'ve sort of thrown them at you in rapid succession, but if you would take time out to understand what I have been saying, to dwell on it, my, you have a gold mine there. I

 know because when I stumbled upon these things, what a treasure I discovered. And to summarize some of that stuff I was giving you this morning, you know, I put it in a simple sentence.
Pleasant experiences make life delightful. Painful experiences lead to growth. Pleasant experiences make life delightful.
They don\'t lead to growth in themselves. What leads to growth is painful experiences. Suffering points up an area in you where you have not yet grown.

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where you need to grow and be transformed and change just as physical pain points to an illness in your body. If you would know how to use that suffering, oh how you would grow. Let\'s limit ourselves for the time being to psychological suffering, to all those negative emotions.
Don\'t waste a single one of them. I told you this morning in that four-point program what you could do with these emotions. That disappointment you experience when events don\'t turn out as you wanted them to.
Watch that. What does that say about you? But without condemnation or you\'re going to get caught up in self-hate now or self-dislike.
Observe it as you would in another person. Look at that disappointment, that depression you experience when you are criticized. What does that say about you?
How much you will learn? That anxiety you experience, that worry. Ever heard about the guy who says, who says worry doesn\'t help?
It certainly does. Every time I worry about something it doesn\'t happen. So it certainly helped him.
Or the other one who says, he says the neurotic is a person who worries about something that did not happen in the past. Not like us normal people who worry about things that will not happen in the future. That\'s it.
That worry, that anxiety, what does it say about you? What\'s happening to you? So if you would use this negative feeling, every negative feeling, every psychological suffering for awareness, for understanding, for dissociating from the feeling and watching it from outside.
In the beginning, the depression will still be there. But you will have cut your connection with it. Gradually, you will understand the depression.
As you understand it, it will keep coming less frequently and will disappear altogether. Maybe, but by that time it won\'t matter too much. Before enlightenment, I used to be depressed.
After enlightenment, I continue to be depressed. Wakefulness. That\'s where you are likely to get.
Gradually or rapidly or suddenly. The state of wakefulness, which is the state where you drop desires. But remember what I said?

 I meant by desire. Craving. Meaning, unless I get what I desire, I refuse to be happy.
I\'ve made my happiness depend on the fulfillment of this desire. Desire in this sense. To drop desire.
To drop illusion. Not to suppress desire, because then you\'d become lifeless. You\'d be without energy.
That would be terrible. Desire, in the healthy sense of the word, is energy. And the more energy we have, the better.
That\'s marvelous. That\'s wonderful. So, don\'t suppress that now.
Understand it. Don\'t seek to fulfill the desire so much as to understand the desire. And don\'t just renounce the objects of your desire.
Understand them. See them in their true light. See them for what they are really worth.
Because if you just suppress your desire, then you will never be happy. And you attempt to renounce the object of your desire, you\'re likely to be tied to it. Whereas if you look at it and see it for what it is really worth, if you understand how you are preparing the ground for misery and disappointment and depression, your desire will then be transformed into what I called a preference.
Remember? You\'ve got a baby boy. Oh, I\'m quite happy because that was my second choice.
Remember? Now, when you go through life with plenty of preferences, but you don\'t let your happiness depend on any one of them, then you\'re awake. You\'re moving towards wakefulness.
And then dropping your illusions. Wakefulness, happiness, call it what you wish, is the state of non-illusion. Where you see things, not as you are, but as they are, in as much as this is possible to the human being.
To drop illusions, illusions, to see things, to see reality. Every time you are unhappy, you have added something to reality. It is that addition that makes you unhappy.
I\'ll repeat that. You have added something. There is a negative reaction in you. Reality provides the stimulus. You provide the reaction. You have added something.
And if you examine what you have added, there\'s always an illusion there. There\'s a demand, an expectation, a craving. Always.
Examples of illusions, they abound. But as you begin to move ahead along this path, you will discover them for yourself. For instance, the illusion, the error of thinking, but that by

 changing the exterior world, you change.
You do not change if you merely change your exterior world. If you get yourself a new job, or a new spouse, or a new home, or a new guru, or a new spirituality, that doesn\'t change you. It\'s like imagining that you change your handwriting by changing your pen, or that you change your capacity to think by changing your hat.
That doesn\'t change you, really. And most people spend all of their energy attempting to rearrange the exterior world to suit their tastes. And sometimes they succeed, you know, for about five minutes, and they get a little respite, and they are tense even during that respite, because life is always flowing.
Life is always changing. And if you want to live, you must have no permanent abode. You must have nowhere to rest your head.
You have to flow with it. As the great Confucius says, the one who would be constant in happiness must frequently change. Flow.
But we\'re looking back, are we not, and clinging to things in the past, and clinging to things in the present. When you set your hand to the plow, you may not look back. You want to enjoy a melody.
You want to enjoy a symphony. Don\'t hold on to a few bars of the music now. Don\'t hold on to a couple of notes.
Let them pass. Let them flow. The whole enjoyment of a symphony lies in your readiness to allow the notes to pass.
Whereas, if a particular bar were to take your fancy, and you would shout to the orchestra to keep playing it again and again and again, that wouldn\'t be a symphony anymore. Are you familiar with those tales of Nasruddin? There\'s one tale of Nasruddin, the old mullah.
He\'s a kind of a legendary figure. The Greeks, the Turks, the Persians, they all claim him for themselves. So there he was.
He would give his mystical teachings in the form of stories, generally funny stories. And the butt of the story was generally old Nasruddin himself. So Nasruddin was one day strumming a guitar, or he was playing one note.
And after a while, a crowd collected around him. This was in the marketplace. And one of the men there in the crowd said, That\'s a nice note you\'re playing, mullah.
But why don\'t you vary it a bit like the other musicians? Nasruddin says, Those fools, they\'re searching for the right note. I found it.

 When you cling, life gets destroyed. When you hold on to anything, you cease to live. It\'s all over the gospel pages.
And one attains this, my dears, by understanding. Understand. Understand another illusion that happiness is not the same as excitement.
It\'s not the same as thrills. That\'s another illusion. A thrill comes from the fulfillment of a desire, of a craving.
It breeds anxiety. And sooner or later, it brings its hangover. When you have suffered sufficiently...

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 029
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from this, then you\'re ready to see it. You\'re feeding yourself on thrills. This is like feeding a racehorse with delicacies.
You\'re giving it cake and wine. You don\'t feed a racehorse on that. This is like feeding a human being on drugs.
You don\'t fill your stomach on drugs. You need good, solid, nutritious food and drink. Now you need to understand this for yourself.
And there is another illusion that someone else can do this for you, that some savior or guru or teacher can do this for you. Not the greatest guru in the world can take one step for you. You\'ve got to take it yourself.
St. Augustine says so marvelously, Jesus Christ himself could do nothing for many of his hearers. Or as I said to you the other day, that lovely Arab saying, the nature of the rain is the same, and yet it produces thorns in the marsh and flowers in the garden. It is you who have to do it.
No one else can help you. It is you who have to digest your food. It is you who have to understand.
No one else can understand for you. It is you who has to see. Nobody can see for you.
And if what you seek is truth, then you must do this. You can lean on no one. Or another illusion, the illusion that it is important to be respectable.
It is important to be loved and to be appreciated. It is important to be important that we have a natural urge to be loved and to be appreciated and to belong. That\'s false.
Drop your illusion and you will find happiness. We have the natural urge is to be free. The natural urge is to love.
As I shall explain later. But not to be loved. You know, sometimes I get a client in some of my psychotherapy sessions.
And one very common problem is nobody loves me. How could I be happy? And I explain to him or her, you mean you never have any moment where you forget the fact that you\'re not loved and you let go and you\'re happy?
Of course she has. She goes to a movie and she\'s all absorbed in the movie. And it\'s a comedy.

 And she\'s roaring with laughter. And in that blessed moment, she\'s forgotten to remind herself, nobody loves me. And she\'s happy.
Then she comes out of that theater with her friend. And her friend goes off with her boyfriend, her own boyfriend. And this girl\'s all alone.
And she thinks, all my friends have their boyfriends. I\'ve got no one. I\'m so unhappy.
Nobody loves me. This is like in India. Lots of our poorer people are beginning to acquire transistors, which is quite a luxury.
Everybody got a transistor. I don\'t have a transistor. I\'m so unhappy.
But until everybody acquired a transistor, you were perfectly happy without one. Until somebody told you that you wouldn\'t be happy unless you were loved, you were perfectly happy. You become happy not by being loved, my dears, which means by being desired, by being attractive to someone.
That\'s what you mean by being loved. You become happy by contact with reality. That\'s what brings happiness.
By a moment-to-moment contact with reality. That\'s where you find God. That\'s where you find happiness.
But most people are not even ready to hear that. All right, what can one do? Another illusion, the belief that reality, external events have the power to hurt you.
That other people have the power to hurt you. They don\'t. It is you who give it to them.
Another illusion, you are all those labels that people have put onto you or that you have put onto yourself. You\'re not. You\'re not.
So you don\'t have the power to hurt people. You have to cling to them. You know, the day somebody tells me I\'m a genius and I take that seriously, I\'m in big trouble.
Can you understand why? Because I\'m going to be tense now. I\'ve got to live up to it.
I\'ve got to maintain it. I\'ve got to keep it. I\'ve got to find out after every lecture, did you like the lecture?
Do you still think I\'m a genius? See? So what you need to do is smash it.
Smash it, and you\'re free. Don\'t identify with those labels. That\'s what he thinks.
That\'s how he experienced you at that minute. Are you a genius? Are you a nut?
Are you a mystic? Are you crazy? Does it really matter, provided you continued to be

 aware and you continued to live life from moment to moment?
How marvelously described in those words. You want to know who the mystic is? You want to know who the awakened person is?
Look at the birds of the air. Look at the lilies of the field. They do not toil. They do not spin. They do not gather up into barns. So why are you anxious?
Can you, for all your anxiety, add a single moment to your life? Why bother about tomorrow? Is there a life after death?
Will I survive death? Why bother about tomorrow? Get in to today.
Someone said, life is something that happens to us while we\'re busy making other plans. That\'s pathetic. Live in the present moment.
Now, this is one of the things that you will notice will happen to you as you\'re coming awake. You are living in the present. You are tasting every moment as you live it.
Another fairly good sign. You\'re hearing the symphony one note after the other. That brings me to what I said I would talk to you about.
You could call it another theme, another topic. But it ties in very much with what I\'ve been saying this morning and right now. Awareness.
The things we add to reality. Let\'s take that one step at a time. Are you tired?
Is it all right for me to go on to this next topic? I\'ll go on for a little while, then give you a break. You\'ll stand up and chat, et cetera.
Now, Father Fitzpatrick, who\'s here, told me the other day how he gave a talk here in New York when there was this, years ago, got himself into Time magazine because he gave a talk, when the Puerto Ricans were very unpopular because of some incidents that had happened here. Everybody was saying all kinds of things against the Puerto Ricans, et cetera. And he gave a lecture somewhere here in New York where he said, well, let me read to you some of the things that the people of New York were saying about certain immigrants.
And he was reading things that people were really saying about the Irish and about the Germans and about every new wave of immigrants that came in. I remember he put it very well that day at dinner. He said, these people don\'t bring delinquency with them.
They become delinquents when they\'re here, when they\'re faced with certain situations. We\'ve got to understand that. If you want to cure the situation, it\'s useless reacting from prejudice.

 You need understanding. You don\'t need condemnation. Not by saying, you dirty old sinner.
No, no, no, no. What\'s going on? Understand.
Awareness. But in order to get awareness, you\'ve got to see. And you cannot see if you\'re prejudiced.
Now, I\'ve got news for you. Almost everything and person that we\'re looking at, we\'re looking at in a prejudiced way. It\'s almost enough to dishearten anybody.
Take my friend. I meet him after a couple of years. And I say, hey, Tom, it\'s good to see you.
And I give him a big hug. Whom am I hugging? The guy here or my memory of him?
A living human being or a corpse? I\'m just assuming that he\'s still the attractive guy that I thought he was. I\'m just assuming that he still fits in with the idea I have of him with my memories and associations, et cetera.
And so I give him a hug. Five minutes later, I find he has changed. I got no interest in him.
Hug the wrong person. You want to see how true this is? Listen.
I get this from religious communities in India. Sister goes to make a course. Or she goes for a retreat.
Everybody in the community is saying, oh, we know. That\'s part of her charism. She\'s always attending workshops and going to retreats.
Nothing will ever change her. Now, it so happens that sister does change at this particular workshop or therapy group or whatever it is. She changes.
Everyone notices the difference. Everyone says, my, you really come to some insights, haven\'t you? And she says, yes.
And she has. And they can see the difference in her behavior. You can see it in her body.
You can see it in her face. You always do. When there\'s an inner change, it always registers in your face, in your eyes, in your body.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 030
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 11:34)
Well, now sister goes back to the community and since the community has got a prejudiced meaning, fixed idea about her, they\'re going to look at her through the eyes of prejudice. They\'ve got a picture of her stuck on their window and they\'re looking at her through that picture and they\'re the only ones who don\'t see any change. You know what they say?
Oh, well, you know, she seems a little more heighty flighty and a little more cheerful, but just hang around, she\'ll be depressed again. And you know something? Within a couple of weeks, she\'s depressed again.
She\'s reacting to their reaction and they all say, see, we told you so, she hadn\'t changed. But the tragedy is that she had, only they didn\'t see it. What is a relationship?
Ready for a bombshell? Hold on to your seats. Whatever a relationship may be, it certainly entails two things.
Clarity of perception in as much as we are capable of it. Some people would dispute to what extent we can attain this clarity of perception, but I don\'t think anyone would dispute that it is desirable that we move towards it. Clarity of perception, accuracy of response.
You\'re more likely to respond accurately when you perceive clearly. When your perception is distorted, you\'re not likely to respond accurately Tell me, how can you love someone whom you do not even see? Let\'s make it worse.
Do you really see someone you\'re attached to? Do you really see someone you\'re attached to? Do you really see someone you\'re afraid of?
And therefore dislike, because we always hate what we fear. Remember I told you, you have to be very careful with sentences of scripture, because if you\'re sleeping, you\'d very easily misunderstand it. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.
People say to me sometimes, hey, wait a minute, I hope you\'re understanding what you\'re saying, because we always hate what we fear. We always want to destroy and get rid of and avoid what we fear. When you fear somebody, you dislike that person in as much as you fear the person.
And you don\'t see that person. Your emotion gets in the way, but that\'s just as true when you are attracted to someone. When love enters, you\'re going to find this hard to believe, you no longer like and dislike people in the ordinary sense of the word.

 You see them clearly and you respond accurately. Oh, at this level, this will go on, your likes and dislikes and preferences and attractions, etc., etc. You\'d be fully human in the mechanical sense of the word and fully divine, because this won\'t come in the way of love when you\'re aware of it.
You will be aware of your prejudices, your likes, your dislikes, your attractions. They\'re all there. They come from your conditioning.
Because tell me, what is it that you like? How come you like things that I don\'t like? Because your culture is different from mine.
Your upbringing is different from mine. If I gave you some of the things to eat that I relish, you\'d turn away in disgust. We\'ve got people up there in certain parts of India who love, who enjoy dog flesh.
And I know people who, if they were told they were being served dog steak, would vomit. Why? Different conditioning, different programming.
I could bring Hindus here who would vomit if they knew they had eaten beef. But you enjoy it. They say, but why won\'t they eat beef?
For the same reason that you don\'t eat your pet dog. The same reason, no other. Because the cow to the Indian peasant is what your pet dog is to you.
That\'s what it is. So he doesn\'t want to eat it. They\'ve got a whole cultural built-in prejudice against it, which saves the animal that\'s needed for farming, etc.
So when you have, see, why do I fall in love with you, really? Why is it that I fall in love with one type of person and not another? Because I\'ve got a shopping list, see, inside.
I\'m conditioned. I\'ve got a kind of an image, subconsciously. This particular type of person appeals to me, attracts me.
So when I meet this person, I fall head over heels in love. But have I seen her? No, I\'ll see her after I have married her.
That\'s when the awakening comes. And that\'s when love may begin. But falling in love has nothing to do with love at all.
That isn\'t love. That\'s desire. That\'s burning desire.
You want, with all your heart, to be told by this adorable creature that you\'re attractive to her. That gives you a tremendous sensation. And everybody else is saying, what the hell does he see in her?
That\'s his conditioning. He\'s not seeing. They say, don\'t they, that love is blind.

 Believe me, there\'s nothing so clear-sighted as love. Nothing. The most clear-sighted thing in the world.
Addiction is blind. Attachments are blind. Clinging and craving and desire is blind.
But not love. Don\'t call that love. But of course, the word has been desecrated in most modern languages.
People talk about making love and falling in love. Like the little boy who says to the little girl, have you fallen in love? Have you ever fallen in love?
She says, no, but I have fallen in like. So what are people talking about when they fall in love? Now, the first thing, therefore, that we need is clarity of perception.
Why do we not perceive people clearly? First, the first reason is evident. Our emotions get in the way.
Our conditioning, our likes and our dislikes. We\'ve got to grapple with that. But we\'ve got to grapple with something much more fundamental.
With our ideas. With our conclusions. With our concepts.
Believe it or not, every concept. Which was meant to be a help to get in touch with reality. Ends up by being a barrier to getting in touch with reality.
Because sooner or later, we forget that the word is not the thing. The concept is not the thing. They\'re different.
That\'s why I said to you the other day, the final barrier to finding God is the word God. And the concept God. Comes in the way, if you\'re not careful.
Was meant to be a help, can be a help, but can also be a barrier. Unless you realize very clearly that the word is not the thing. The concept is not the thing.
Now, that\'s what I want to develop. And it\'s going to take me a little time, but you\'ve got to have a break before that. Or else, you\'re not going to be able to follow this very metaphysical, philosophical kind of thing I\'m going to explain.
Metaphysics or whatever you want to call it, but it\'s very, very simple. Listen to this. Every time I have a concept, it is something that I could apply to a number of individuals.
We\'re not talking about a concrete particular name like Mary or John, which doesn\'t have a meaning. But when I have a concept, all other words are words that apply to any number of individuals, countless individuals, concepts are universal. For instance, I say tree or I say leaf.
Now, the word leaf could be applied to every single leaf on that tree. You have the same

 word for all those individuals. You have the same word for all the leaves on all the trees in this campus.
The big ones, the small ones, the tender ones, the dried ones, the yellow ones, the green ones, banana leaves, oak tree leaves, all types of leaves. If I say to you, I saw a leaf this morning, you really don\'t have an idea of what I saw. Let\'s see if you can understand that.
You do have an idea of what I did not see. I did not see an animal. I did not see a dog.
I did not see a human being. I did not see a shoe. You have some kind of a vague idea of what I saw, but it isn\'t particularized.
It isn\'t concrete. The Spanish philosopher Unamuno says, man, human being, but let\'s stick to man.

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[Speaker 1] (0:01 - 11:35)
Not primitive man, not civilized man, not a grown-up man, not a child, not male, not female, not of this particular age or the other, not of this culture or the other, in other words, not man. Because the human being is found concrete. You never find a universal human being like your concept.
Your concept points. But it is never entirely accurate. It misses uniqueness.
It misses concreteness. For the concept is universal. And when I give you a concept, I give you something.
And yet, how little it is I have given you. So, the concept, so valuable, so useful for science. For instance, if I said of every one of us here that we are animals, that would be perfectly accurate.
But you know, we\'re something more than animals. And so if I said, Mary Jane is an animal, that\'s true. But since I\'ve omitted something essential to her, it\'s false.
It does her an injustice. And when I call you a woman, that\'s true. But there are lots of things in you that don\'t fit into that concept.
You are this particular, concrete, unique woman. That can only be experienced. It cannot be conceptualized.
That, I\'ve got to see for myself. I\'ve got to experience for myself. I\'ve got to intuit for myself.
The individual can be intuited, cannot be conceptualized. It\'s beyond the thinking mind. Lots of you would probably be proud to be called Americans.
As lots of Indians, foolishly I think, would be proud to be called Indians. Because what is American? What is Indian?
It\'s a convention. It\'s not part of your nature. But never mind about that now.
And yet, even if you were proud to be called an American, if someone said to me, in reply to my question, Who\'s Claire? And he says, Claire, she\'s an American. Oh, American!
Ah, well, I know, I know. Hey, she was quite proud to be an American. But when I said American, I know she feels insulted.
Say, wait a minute, you really don\'t know. All you\'ve got is a label. You don\'t know me.

 See what I mean? The concept always misses, omits something extremely important, something precious that is found in reality, which is concreteness, uniqueness. Very important to understand that, as you recall, that the word, the concept is not the thing.
And so, the great Krishnamurti puts it so well when he says, The day you teach the child the name of a bird, the child will never see that bird again. How true. The first time that bird, the child sees that fluffy, alive, moving object, and you say to the kid, Sparrow, Sparrow.
Then tomorrow, when he sees another fluffy, moving object that\'s similar to this one, he says, Oh, Sparrow, I\'ve seen Sparrows. I\'m bored by Sparrows. Do you know something?
If you didn\'t look at things through your concepts, you\'d never be bored. Every single thing is so unique. Every Sparrow is so unlike every other Sparrow.
Even in its similarity, great help to find similarities so that we can abstract, so that we can have a concept. Great help from the point of view of communication, indication, science, but also very misleading and a great hindrance to seeing this concrete individual. And what about this particular Sparrow?
It keeps changing, you know, from moment to moment. But we\'re coming to that immediately. The first drawback in a concept is that the concept is abstract.
Reality is concrete. I don\'t think anyone would quarrel with that. So if all that you experience is your concept, you\'re not experiencing reality because reality is concrete.
The concept is a help to lead you to reality. But when you come there, then you\'ve got to intuit or experience it directly. Second quality of the concept, it is static.
Reality is in flow. We know enough to realize this. We have the same name for the Niagara Falls.
But that whole body of water is constantly changing. How could you ever invent different words for each little movement of the river? You\'ve got a word, river.
But that water is constantly flowing. The word remains static. You\'ve got one word for your body.
But all the cells in your body are constantly being renewed. That\'s another drawback in the concept. When it is compared to reality.
To give you an idea of what it is like. Let\'s suppose there\'s an enormous wind outside here. And I want the people in my country to get an idea of what an American gale or hurricane is like.
So I capture it in a cigar box. And I go back home and say, Behold! Well, it isn\'t a gale

 any longer, is it?
Once it\'s captured. Or I want you to get the feel of what the flow of water in a river is like. And I bring it to you in a bucket.
Well, the moment I put it into a bucket, it stopped flowing. The moment you put it into a concept, it stopped flowing. It became static.
It became dead. Something like a frozen wave. A frozen wave is not a wave.
A wave is essentially movement. It is action. And when you freeze it, it\'s not a wave.
Concepts are always frozen. Reality flows. Finally, if we are to believe the mystics, and it doesn\'t take too much of an effort to understand this, or even believe it, one can see it at once.
Reality is whole. Words and concepts fragment reality. They give us little fragments.
That is why it is so difficult to translate from one concept to another. One language to another. Because each language cuts reality up differently.
The English word home is impossible to translate into French or Spanish. Casa is not quite home. It has associations which are peculiar to the English language.
Every language has untranslatable words and verbs and expressions. Because we\'re cutting reality up and adding something or subtracting something, and usage keeps changing. Reality is a whole.
Then we cut it up and make concepts and words to indicate different parts. But if you had never seen an animal in your life, and one day you found a tail, just a tail, you\'ve never seen an animal in your life, and somebody said to you, that\'s a tail, would you have any idea of what that was? Unless you had some idea what an animal is.
And unless you had some, couldn\'t be an idea, because ideas essentially fragment. If you had some vision, intuition, experience of reality as a whole, would you really know what each fragment means? This is what the mystics are perpetually telling us.
Words cannot give you reality. They only point. They only indicate.
You use them as pointers to get to reality. But once you get there, you cannot, your concepts are helpless. Like the dispute that a Hindu priest had with a philosopher who claimed that the final barrier to God was the word God, the concept God.
So he went to debate with him. And the philosopher replied, the ass that you mount and that you use to get to a house is not the means by which you enter the house. You\'ve got to dismount.

 You use the concept to get there, then you dismount, you get beyond it. Now, you don\'t need to be a mystic to understand this, that reality is something that cannot be captured by words.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 032
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 11:33)
If you would understand, if you would know what reality is, you would have to know beyond knowing. Do those words ring a bell? Those of you who are familiar with the cloud.
You\'ve got to go beyond knowing. You\'ve got to know beyond concepts, beyond words. Poets, painters, mystics, the great philosophers, they have intimations of this, intuitions of this.
Now comes the big part. Let\'s suppose that one day I\'m watching a tree. Until now, every time I saw a tree, I said, well, you know, tree.
But today when I\'m looking at the tree, I don\'t see a tree. At least, I don\'t see what I\'ve been accustomed to seeing. Suddenly I see something with the freshness of the vision of the child.
There\'s no word for it. I see something that\'s unique, that\'s flowing, that\'s whole and not fragmented. And I\'m in wonder.
Now when I come back and you say, what did you see? What do you think I\'d say? Ah, no word for it.
There is no word for reality. Because as soon as I put a word to it, we\'re back into concepts again. I could tell you a story.
And if you have the sense of a mystic, you might get a clue to what I\'m talking about. But I cannot give you a description. My dears, if I cannot express this reality that I experience or intuit when I look at a tree, when you talk about expressing God, what are you talking about?
If I cannot express this reality that is visible to my senses, when I penetrate, I get beyond words and concepts and see, how does one express what cannot be seen by the eye or the ear? How does one find a word for it? Are you beginning to understand what Thomas Aquinas, Augustine and all of them were saying?
What the church teaches constantly when she says, God is mystery, unintelligible to the human mind. What the great Karl Rahner said in one of his last letters, when he wrote to a young German drug addict, who wrote to him for advice and talked to him about God. He says, you theologian, you talk about God.
How could this God be relevant in my life? How could I get rid of my drug? And Rahner says to him, I must confess to you in all honesty, that for me God is and has always been

 absolute mystery.
I do not understand what God is. No one can. We have intimations, inklings, that we falteringly, inadequately attempt to put into words.
But there is no word for it. There is no sentence for it. Talking to a group of theologians in London, I think it was, he said to them, the task of the theologian is to explain everything through God.
And to explain God as unexplainable. Unexplainable. Mystery.
One doesn\'t know. One cannot say. One says, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
And when one reveals God, one is using words, is not one. One is using concepts. And once again, all the great mystics, in the Catholic Church, in all the Christian churches, in all the religions are telling us, those words are pointers, they\'re not descriptions.
They don\'t fit. They indicate. They give you a clue.
Now tragically, people fall into idolatry. Because they think that where God is concerned, the word is the thing. Now, how could you get so crazy?
Can you be crazier than that? That where human beings are concerned, and trees and leaves and plants and animals, the word is not the thing. But where God is concerned, the word is the thing?
What are you talking about? That\'s why I told you last night, about that famous, internationally known scripture scholar, who attended this course of mine in San Francisco a couple of years ago, and said to me, my God, after listening to you, I understand that I\'ve been an idol worshipper all my life. And as I said to you last night, he said this right out in the open there.
Big man. It never struck me that I had been an idol worshipper. My idol was not made of wood or of metal.
It was a mental idol. And these are the more dangerous idol worshippers. Very subtle substance that is used to produce this God, who has no name, no form, no image.
There are only indications, there are clues. More about this when I talk about the scriptures. What I\'m leading you to this afternoon is the following.
Awareness of reality around you. Do you remember I said, what is awareness? Awareness, it means to watch, to observe, what is going on within you and around you.
Going on, pretty accurate. Because things are going on. The trees, the grass, the plants, the animals, the rocks, all of reality is moving.

 One observes it, one watches it. How essential it is for the human being to observe not just himself or herself, but all of reality. You are imprisoned by your concepts.
Do you want to break out of the prison? Look, observe. Spend hours observing, watching.
What? Anything. The faces of people, the shape and form of trees, a bird in flight, a pile of stones.
Watch the grass grow. Get in touch with things. Look at them.
Hopefully, you will break out of this habit, these rigid patterns that we have all developed, that our thoughts and our words have imposed on us. Hopefully, we will see. What will we see?
This thing that we choose to call reality, whatever is beyond these words and concepts. That is a spiritual exercise connected with spirituality, connected with breaking out of your cage, out of the imprisonment of your concepts and words. How sad if you would have passed through life and never seen it again with the eyes of a child.
Don\'t lose your concepts, they are very precious. As a matter of fact, we begin without them. Then we develop concepts, because concepts have a very positive function.
Thanks to them, it would seem, we develop this thing called intelligence. We are even able to then understand the limitations of concepts. Anyone who never learned a language, who was never programmed, who was never given words and concepts, would, it would seem, have no intelligence at all.
And so we are invited not to become children, but to become like little children. We have to fall from the stage of innocence. We have to be thrown out of paradise and develop this I, this me, thanks to these concepts.
And then we need to return to paradise again. We need to be redeemed again. We need to put off the old man, the old nature, the conditioned self, and return to the state of the child.
But without being children anymore. So we start off looking at reality in wonder. But it isn\'t the intelligent wonder of the mystic.
It\'s the formless wonder of the child. Then the wonder dies and is replaced by boredom, as we develop language and words and concepts. Then hopefully, if we\'re lucky, we return to the wonder again.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 033
[Speaker 1] (0:01 - 11:35)
Doug Hammershield, the former UN Secretary General, puts it so beautifully, God does not die, he says, the day we deny his existence, but we die on the day that our lives cease to be illumined by the radiance of a wonder which we can never describe. Which is quite beyond us. We die the day our lives cease to be illumined by that radiance, that wonder.
And we don\'t have to quarrel about a word, because God is only a word, is it not? God is only a concept. One never quarrels about reality, we only quarrel about opinions, about concepts, about judgments.
Don\'t seek for truth, only drop your concepts, drop your opinions, drop your prejudices, drop your judgments, and you will see. You know, that was philosophy, that was metaphysics. How did you like it?
Not bad, huh? Well, I think that will be the toughest session of all the ones we\'ve had. This is the end of the eighth tape.
This is the ninth tape of the New York Conference\'s Wake Up to Life, by Father Anthony DeMello. I was talking to you yesterday about this matter of words and concepts, and I was telling you, the word is not the thing, the concept is not the thing. The concept leads you to the thing, but if you\'re not careful, you might equate the concept with the thing.
And then I mentioned this matter of God, and I told you, all the great theologians and mystics have for the foundation of everything that they\'re saying, that we do not, we cannot know conceptually what God is. Thought I\'d bring you this little quote from St. Thomas. How about giving it to you in Latin for...
Quia de Deo sire non possumus quid sit, sed quid non sit. Non possumus considerare de Deo quomodo sit, sed quomodo non sit. This is the introduction to his whole Summa Theologica.
Since we do not know what God is, but what God is not, we cannot tell you God\'s way of being, but rather the way He is not. Then I gave you his De Trinitate, the loftiest degree of our knowledge of God is to know God as the unknown, tam quam ignortum. And in his Questio Disputata Dei Potentia Dei, seven, He says, this is what is ultimate in the human knowledge of God, to know that we do not know God.
This is what is ultimate in the human knowledge of God, to know that we do not know God. This gentleman was considered the prince of theologians, as I told you yesterday, he was certainly acquainted with the scriptures, he was a mystic and a canonized saint. We\'re standing on pretty good ground.

 Then what was he talking about when he talked about God? And what is the meaning of the scriptures? More about that later.
See, I keep you coming that way. In India, we have a Sanskrit saying for this kind of thing. It is neti neti, not that, not that.
Sometimes referred to as the via negativa, negative way. You know, I read a marvelous work by the famous C.S. Lewis. It\'s a little booklet, A Grief Observed was his diary.
When his wife died, he married an American woman, said to his friends, God gave me in my 60s what he denied me in my 20s. I\'m wildly in love, fell in love with this woman, married her, and he had hardly married her when she died a painful death of cancer. Then C.S. Lewis says, the whole of my faith crumbled like a house of cards. He was the great Christian apologist. And when disaster struck home, then he, he asks himself, is God a loving father or is he the great vivisector? Pretty good evidence for both things.
And you can look at things in a somewhat slanted way and push aside evidence of the contrary. Remember when my own mother got cancer, my sister said to me, Tony, why did God allow this to happen to mother? I said, my dear, last year, a million people died in China of starvation, of a drought.
Calculated at almost a million. You never raised the question. And so sometimes the nicest thing that could happen to us, for us to be awakened to reality is for calamity to strike.
Then we begin to rethink. Then you might lose your beliefs and come to faith. Your childish beliefs and come to faith.
As C.S. Lewis did. Do read that book. It\'s marvelously written.
He said, you know, I never had any doubt before about people surviving death. But when my wife died, my, I was no longer certain. Why?
Because it was so important to me that she be living. And, you know, he\'s the master of comparisons and analogies. He says, it\'s like a rope.
Someone says to you, would this carrier, would this bear the weight of about 120 pounds? And you say, yeah, yeah. Well, we\'re going to let down your best friend on this rope.
You say, wait a minute, let me test that again. Now you\'re not so sure. And somewhere in that diary, he says a marvelous thing.
I was so happy and consoled. This was years ago to find him say, we know nothing about God. We cannot know anything about God.

 Even our very questions about God are absurd. Marvelous. Of course, your questions are absurd.
Why? It\'s like the person born blind, the man born blind, who says to you, that color green, is it hot or is it cold? Natty, natty, not that, not that.
Is it long or is it short? Not that. Is it sweet or is it sour? Not that. Is it round? Or is it oval?
Or is it square? Not that, not that. See, he\'s coming from the other senses, from his limited experience.
He has no words, no concepts for this world of which he has no idea, no intuition, no experience, the world of colors. One can only speak in analogies. Not that.
No matter what he asks, it isn\'t that. Your wording is wrong. Your question is absurd.
So, C.S. Lewis says something like this. I\'m not quite sure I\'ve got the exact words, but it\'s something like this. It\'s like asking, how many minutes are there in the color yellow?
And everybody\'s taking it very seriously and discussing it and fighting about it. You know what the answer to that question is? How many minutes are there in the color yellow?
25 carats. And the other guy says, no, 17 potatoes. And then they\'re fighting.
Not that, not that. The ultimate, this is what is ultimate in the human knowledge of God, to know that we do not know. Our great tragedy, my dears, is that we know too much.
We think we know. That is our tragedy. And so we never discover.
In fact, Thomas Aquinas is not only a theologian, he\'s a great philosopher. And he says repeatedly in many places, all the efforts of the human mind cannot exhaust the essence of a single fly. Cannot.
We really have no notion of the nature of a fly, of an individual fly. Just what I was telling you yesterday. The concept is abstract, the reality concrete, etc.
He puts it in his own unique way. The limitations of the human mind. The danger we have of equating the concept with reality and as a result, never coming in touch with reality.
Now, I also quoted Doug Hammershall. I like to be exact, and I\'m afraid the quote I gave you was from memory and wasn\'t quite accurate. The original is much more beautiful.
He says, God does not die on the day we cease to believe in a personal deity. But we die on the day when our lives cease to be.

 
 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 034
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 11:35)
Illumined by the steady radiance renewed daily of a wonder, the source of which is beyond all reason. But we die on the day when our lives cease to be illumined by the steady radiance renewed daily of a wonder, the source of which is beyond all reason. Something beyond this conceptualizing mind of ours, which when perceived, intuited, however dimly, creates the wonder and our lives become illumined.
Marvelously put. But more about this when I talk about scripture. I want to say something more about words.
I said to you yesterday, words are limited. There\'s something more I have to add. There are some words that correspond to nothing.
Words that have a very powerful influence on us. You know, when I use the word tree, it corresponds to something. When I say man or woman or child, that corresponds to something.
But there are some words that correspond to nothing. Would you believe it? For instance, talking of a situation back home, I\'m an Indian.
Now we\'ve got another country called Pakistan. Now let\'s suppose I am a prisoner of war in Pakistan. And they say to me, well, today we\'re going to take you to the frontier and you\'re going to take a look at your country.
And so they bring me to the frontier. And I look across the border and I think, oh my country, my beautiful country. I see villages and trees and hills.
Like that thing of the poet, breeds there a man with soul so dead, who never to himself has said, my, you\'ve got it, yes. This is my own, my native land. And after a while, one of the guards says, excuse me, we made a mistake, sir.
We have to move on another 10 miles. You know, it\'s 12. What was I reacting to?
Indian trees, Indian villages, Indian mountains. But you know something? Trees are not Indian.
Trees are trees. There are no Indian trees. In a geographical map, there are no frontiers, no boundary.
Those were put there by the human mind. Generally by stupid, avaricious politicians. That country of mine, once upon a time, was one.
It\'s four now. And if we don\'t look out within a short time, it might be six. We\'ll have six

 flags.
We\'ll have six armies. You never catch me saluting a flag. Me, never.
Any flag. Never saluted. I abhor all national flags.
I do. What are we saluting? I salute humanity.
Not a flag with an army around it. Now, of course, I live in a peculiar situation where I see flags coming up. These flags were in the heads of people.
They\'re fighting for a convention. They\'re fighting for a frontier, which the human mind put there, but doesn\'t exist in reality. Now, I\'ve got news for you.
There are thousands of words in our vocabulary that do not correspond to reality at all. But boy, they trigger emotions. They trigger off emotions within us.
And we begin to see things which are not there. We actually see Indian mountains, but they don\'t exist. And we actually see Indian people.
What do you know? They don\'t exist. They really don\'t.
Oh, well, you know, you have your American conditioning. I have my American conditioning. That exists.
Not a very happy thing. You know, in our countries nowadays, in the third world countries, we talk a great deal about inculturation. Culture.
This thing called culture. Not very happy with it. Me, not very happy with it.
Because part of our liberation is liberation from our culture. You mean you\'d like to do something because you were conditioned to do it? You\'d like to feel something because you were conditioned to feel it?
Isn\'t that being mechanical? You\'ve got a stamp on you, and you react according to that stamp? Imagine an American baby that is adopted by a Russian couple.
Taken over to Russia. Has no notion that it was born American. Because there is no such thing as American.
So he\'s brought up talking Russian. He lives and dies for Mother Russia. He hates the Americans.
He\'s all stamped with his own culture. He\'s steeped in his own literature. He\'s influenced, and he looks at the world through the eyes of his culture.
You want to wear your culture the way you wear your clothes. That\'s fine. You know, it\'s

 nice.
The Indian woman will wear a sari, and the American woman will wear something else, and the Chinese woman will wear something else, and the Japanese woman will wear her kimono. That\'s nice. But nobody\'s identifying herself with the clothes.
So you want to wear culture like that? That\'s nice. But then you become proud of your culture.
They teach you to be proud of it. They teach you to be proud of your country. There are emotions.
Words that are emotionally charged. Nobody sits down and analyzes that. Remember how I told you, if you are affected or influenced by an experience you had with your father, let me put it as forcefully as possible.
There\'s this Jesuit friend of mine who says, anytime I see a poor person, a beggar, I cannot give this person an alms. I cannot not give this person an alms. I got that from my mother, he says.
My mother, ever since I was a kid, you know, he lived somewhere in the countryside in India, and any poor person who\'d come there, well, his mother\'d offer that person a meal, etc. He said, I picked it up from her. I said to him, Joe, what you have is not a virtue.
What you have is a compulsion. A good one, from the point of view of the beggar, but a compulsion nonetheless, you cannot not do this. I remember a Jesuit who said to us once, at a province meet, kind of an intimate gathering of the men of our Jesuit province there in Bombay.
It\'s very nice to hear that. He said, I am 80 years old. I\'ve been a Jesuit for 65 years.
I have never once in all my life missed my hour of morning meditation. Never once. Nice, could be very admirable, or it could be a compulsion too.
No great merit in that, if it\'s mechanical. The beauty of an action comes not from its having become a habit, but from sensitivity, from consciousness, from clarity of perception and accuracy of response. I may say yes to this beggar, I may say no to another.
I\'m not compelled by any conditioning, programming of my past experiences, or my culture. Nobody has stamped anything on me, or if they have, I\'m no longer reacting from that. It\'s like, you have a bad experience with an American, or you were bitten by a dog, or you had a bad experience with a certain kind of food.
Now, for the rest of your life, you\'re influenced by that experience. Too bad. You need to

 be liberated from that.
Don\'t carry over experiences from the past. Hey, I see many of you nodding in assent. How about carrying over good experiences from the past?
Huh? Don\'t carry those either. You know what it means to experience something fully, then drop it and move on to the next moment, uninfluenced by the previous one?
My, you\'re travelling with such little baggage, you could pass through the eye of a needle. Now you will know what eternal life is, because eternal life is now, in the timeless now. Only thus will you enter eternal life.
But how many things we carry with us. And we never set about the task of freeing ourselves, of dropping the baggage, of being ourselves. And I\'m so sorry to say that everywhere I go, I find Muslims who are using their religion, and their worship, and their Quran, to distract themselves from this task.
Instead of serving as a help, serves as a distraction. And the same applies to Hindus, and you know who else. My, you\'re very clever, you\'re catching on quickly today.
Now, words, words, words, they have such an influence on us. You know, you\'re talking to somebody, listen to this. You\'re talking to somebody, he seems a nice kind of guy, and somebody whispers into your ear, Cardinal Archbishop.
Whoop! It has an influence on your mind and on your nerves. You\'re suddenly influenced by that, the word.
See how it triggered off reactions within you? Can you imagine a human being, who is no longer influenced by words, who is only affected by reality? You could give him any number of words, he\'ll still give you a fair deal.
You could say Cardinal Archbishop, but he\'ll still give you a fair deal. He\'ll see you as you are. He\'s uninfluenced by the label.
You could say Indian, American, Russian, Chinese, anything. He is uninfluenced.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 035
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 11:35)
Influenced by labels. So, there it is. The importance of understanding words and concepts.
If we are to attain awareness, because I said to you, awareness heals, awareness transforms, awareness puts us in touch with reality. But that goes with understanding. Understanding how our mind functions and how we are being deceived by words and concepts.
There\'s one more thing I want to say about our perception of reality. Let me put it in the form of an analogy. You\'ve got the President of the United States.
Now, he has to get feedback, or you\'ve got the Pope in Rome, who has to get feedback from the whole church. Now, you\'ve got millions of items that are supposed to be fed to the President, but he could hardly take all of that in, much less digest it. So, he has people whom he trusts to make abstracts, to summarize things, to monitor, to filter, and then some of it gets to his desk.
Now, this is what\'s happening to us. From every pore of our living cell of our body, and from all the senses, we\'re getting feedback from reality. But we\'re filtering things out constantly.
Who\'s doing the filtering? Very important to find out. Your conditioning, your culture, your programming, the way you were taught to see things and to experience things, even your language.
Lots of filtering going on, so that you will see things sometimes that are not there, and sometimes you don\'t see things that are there. That\'s so common. You\'ve only got to look at a paranoid person who\'s feeling all threatened by something that isn\'t there, who\'s constantly interpreting reality in terms of certain experiences of the past or certain conditioning that he or she has.
And there\'s another big crook inside there who\'s doing the filtering. It\'s called an attachment, desire, craving. The root of sorrow is craving.
Craving distorts perception. It destroys perception. You\'ve got your fears and your desires.
As Samuel Johnson said, the knowledge that he is to swing from a scaffold or that he is to be hanged within a week wonderfully concentrates a man\'s mind. You blot out everything else. You\'re concentrated only on this, fear or desire, craving.

 Look how we have been brought up. We were drugged when we were young. And we were brought up to need people.
For what? For acceptance, for approval, for appreciation, for applause, for what they call success. Here are words that do not correspond to reality.
They\'re convention, like political reality, convention. Things invented, but we don\'t realize that they don\'t correspond to reality. Success, what is that?
That is what this particular group decided is a good thing. Another particular group will decide it\'s a bad thing. What is good in Washington might be considered bad in a Cartusian monastery.
Success in political circles might be considered failure in other circles. These are conventions, but we treat them like realities, don\'t we? Now, what happened to us when we were young?
We were programmed, we were taught, we were programmed to unhappiness. This is amazing. You cannot not be unhappy.
Why? Because they taught you, and they taught me, they taught all of us, that in order to be happy, you need, you name it, money, success, a beautiful or handsome partner in life, a good job, friendship, spirituality, God, you name it. Unless you get these things, you\'re not going to be happy.
You need them. Now, that is what I call an attachment. An attachment is a belief that without something, you are not going to be happy.
Once you get convinced of that, and my, that has got into our subconscious. It\'s got stamped into our nerves, to the roots of our being. But how could I be happy unless I have good health?
You know, I\'ll tell you something. I have met people dying of cancer who are happy. But how could I be happy if I know I\'m going to die?
You all know of people who are happy when they are meeting death. But how could I be happy if I don\'t have money? You know something?
This guy has got a million dollars in the bank, and he\'s feeling insecure. The other guy has got practically no money, and he doesn\'t seem to feel any insecurity at all. He was programmed differently, that\'s all.
Useless exhorting the first guy about what to do. He needs understanding. He needs to understand.
That\'s where I was talking about awareness. Exhortations are no great help, as I\'m going

 to tell you very soon. You need to understand.
You\'ve been programmed. It\'s a false belief. See it as false.
See it as a fantasy. And so what are people doing all through their lives? They\'re busy fighting.
Fight, fight, fight. The conflict to what they call survival. If you know, when you talk to the average American who says he or she is making a living, it isn\'t a living they\'re making.
Oh no, they\'ve got much more than enough to live. Come to my country and you\'ll see that. You mean you don\'t need all those cars to live.
You really don\'t. You don\'t need a television set to live. You don\'t need all that makeup to live.
You don\'t need all those clothes to live. To live, you don\'t need them. You really don\'t.
But try to convince the average American of this. They\'ve been brainwashed. They\'ve been programmed.
So conflict, work, effort, strife to get the desired object, which will make them happy. Now, listen to this pathetic story. Your story, my story, everybody\'s story.
Till we understand it and break out. The story is this. They told us, until I get this object, I\'m not going to be happy.
Whatever it is, money, friendship, anything. So I\'ve got to strive to get it. Now when I\'ve got it, I\'ve got to strive to keep it.
A temporary thrill. Oh, I\'m so thrilled I got it. How long does that last?
A few minutes, couple of days. At the most, when you\'ve got your brand new car, how long did the thrill last? Just as long as your next attachment was threatened.
There\'s a funny thing about an attachment, you know. If you have a thousand attachments, you could satisfy 999, but if you haven\'t satisfied one, you\'re miserable. So, all right, I\'ve got it, thrill.
Now, A, get tired of it after a while. They told me prayer was the big thing. They told me God was the big thing.
They told me friendship was the big thing. Not knowing what prayer really was, not knowing what God really was, we made things out of them. After a while, we get bored, bored with the car, but we\'re still holding onto it, and we\'re still sending off threats.

 Isn\'t that pathetic? And if you\'ve got one attachment, that\'s bad enough. When you have a couple of thousands, I mean, we\'re crazy.
We\'re just crazy, and there\'s no way out. There simply is no way out. It\'s the only model we were given to be happy.
We weren\'t given any other model. Our culture, our society, I\'m sorry to say, even our religion gave us no other model. This is happening in all religions, too, you know.
Like, you\'ve been appointed cardinal. What a great honor that is. Honor, did you say honor?
You used the wrong word. Now others are going to aspire to it. You lapsed into the world, what the gospels call the world, and you\'re going to lose your soul.
The world, success, honor, non-existent things, power, prestige, winning, especially over others, popularity, you gain the world, but you lost your soul. Your whole life has been empty and soulless, nothing there. There\'s only one way out, and that is get deprogrammed.
Get deprogrammed. How do you get that? Become aware of the programming.
I\'m going to be talking pretty soon about change. You cannot change by an effort of the will. You cannot change through ideals.
You cannot change through building up new habits. Your behavior may change, but you don\'t. You only change through a will.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 036
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 7:39)
Fairness and understanding. When you see a stone as a stone, a scrap of paper as a scrap of paper, you don\'t think that the stone is a precious diamond anymore, and you don\'t think that that scrap of paper is a check for a billion dollars. When you see that, you change.
There\'s no violence anymore in attempting to change yourself. Otherwise, what you call change is moving the furniture around, your behavior has changed, but not you. And I\'m gonna give you a whole session on understanding after the break.
What does it mean to understand? How do we go about it? Now, attachment.
You\'ve got attachments. Consider how we\'re enslaved by these things, and we\'re striving to rearrange the world so that I can keep my attachment, because the world is a constant threat to my attachment. Everything keeps changing.
So does this thing. It\'s all changing. Everything is changing.
So is my friend. My God, how insecure I am. He may stop loving me.
He may go out to somebody else. Hey, wait a minute. And I\'ve got to keep on making myself attractive to him, because I\'ve got to get him, because somebody brainwashed me into thinking that I need his love.
I don\'t. I really don\'t. Not in order to be happy, I don\'t.
I don\'t need anybody\'s love. I just need to get in touch with reality. That\'s all.
I need to break out of this prison of mine, this programming, this conditioning, these false beliefs, these fantasies, and break out into reality. And reality is lovely. Reality is an absolute delight.
Eternal life is now. We\'re surrounded by it, like the fish in the ocean, but we have no notion about it at all. We\'re too distracted with this, with the attachment.
And so, temporarily, the world does rearrange itself to suit our attachment, and we say, yay, great, my team won. But hang on, it\'ll change. You\'re going to be depressed tomorrow.
Why do we do this? Why are we so hard on ourselves? And have you noticed all those negative feelings we have?
You\'re jealous. Where does your jealousy come from? Look for the attachment

 underneath.
Somebody is getting what you want and what you think you will not be happy without. You\'re anxious and frightened. You\'re getting paranoid.
Your attachment has been threatened. See if you can understand that. I\'ll go slowly.
You\'re getting angry. Somebody is likely to come in the way of your getting your attachment or your keeping your attachment. Or else, why would you be angry?
Because you\'re convinced. You\'re not going to be happy without this. You\'re not going to be happy without that.
You\'ve got cravings. And so it goes on. All those negative feelings.
Just scratch a bit on the surface, under the surface, probe under the surface, and the attachment will come to life. How about a little exercise? A couple of minutes.
And it is this. Think of something or someone you are attached to. In other words, think of something or someone without which or without whom you think you are not going to be happy.
Could be your job, your career, your profession, your friend, your money, or whatever. And say to it, him, her, I really do not need you to be happy. I\'m only deluding myself into the belief that without you, I will not be happy.
I\'m only deluding myself into the belief that without you, I will not be happy. But I really don\'t need you for my happiness. I can be happy without you.
You are not my happiness. You are not my joy. Boy, if it\'s a he or a her, he\'s not going to be too happy to hear that.
But go ahead, you can say it within the secrecy of your heart. Because you\'re making contact with the truth. You\'re smashing through a fantasy.
Happiness is a state of non-illusion. Drop the illusion. Or you could try another exercise, if you\'d rather do that.
Think of a time you were heartbroken. You thought you\'d never be happy again. Your husband died.
Your wife died. Your best friend deserted you. You lost your money or whatever.
Think of the time you were a child and you didn\'t get what you want or you lost what you had. And you said, I\'ll never be happy again. What happened?
Time went on. And if you managed to pick up another attachment, if you managed to

 find somebody else you were attracted to or something else that you were attracted to, what happened to the old attachment? You didn\'t really need it, did you, to be happy?
That should have taught us. But we never learn. We\'re programmed.
We\'re conditioned. Then I\'ll give you a few seconds to think, my, how liberating not to depend emotionally on anything. If you could get even one second\'s experience of that, you\'re breaking through your prison and getting a glimpse of the sky.
Someday, maybe you will fly. [Speaker 3] (7:54 - 8:00)
This is the 10th tape of the New York Conference\'s Wake Up to Life by Father Anthony DeMello.
[Speaker 1] (8:01 - 8:03)
Okay, who wants to begin? Yes.
[Speaker 2] (8:04 - 8:43)
I was afraid to say this, but I talked to God. And I told him, I don\'t need him. My initial reaction was, this is so contrary to everything that I\'ve been brought up.
And yet, I said, if he is the God that I think he ought to be, he is not going to imprison me.
[Speaker 1] (8:45 - 10:24)
All right. If you think that unless you get God, you\'re not going to be happy, this God you\'re thinking of has nothing to do with God. You\'re thinking of a dream state, of a thing, of a person.
You\'re thinking of your concept. And sometimes, you have to get rid of God in order to find God. Lots of mystics tell us that.
When you drop your attachments, when you drop your clinging, when you drop your baggage, think of the baggage we carry. If I use the word happiness, you know what most, see the amount of times I catch myself doing this. Am I happy?
Thinking, I got a great film coming up tonight, and I got, what\'s the future got to do with it? What has yesterday got to do with it? But we\'re constantly somewhere else.
As somebody said, my favorite place is somewhere else. We\'re always somewhere else. But to attain the asceticism and the delight of being here now, and when now goes, let it go.

 Then we will know what reality is, what God is. The concept is a help, as I will tell you later. But we\'ve always to beware, lest it become a hindrance.
Joe?
[Speaker 2] (10:25 - 10:30)
Tony, aren\'t you really programming the process of deprogramming yourself?
[Speaker 1] (10:32 - 11:34)
That\'s not a bad comment at all. That\'s not a bad comment. I think I would be, if I\'d be telling you how to do it.
All I\'m saying is, be aware. Be aware. There are two things.
There is programming, and there is awareness. And the two are opposed to each other. Where awareness comes in, programming dies.
When you\'re listening to me, as I said to you on the first day, if you\'re just swallowing everything I\'m saying, you\'re getting programmed. And lots of people do, you know. I\'m a great brainwasher, I really am.
Well, that\'s not quite accurate. The way I speak very easily lends itself to gullible people getting brainwashed. That\'s more accurate.
But if you\'re neither resisting what I\'m saying, nor swallowing,

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 037
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 11:35)
Ah, that\'s wonderful. You\'re open. You\'re saying, I\'d like to take a look at that.
Somebody else here? Yes, someone you desire greatly? Yeah.
Yes, oh yes, yes. You begin by doing it in fantasy and role-playing. Yes, yes, you\'d better prepare your wife before you tell her this truth.
Yes, I know. Isn\'t it amazing, though, that we have been so blinded by everything that we did not discover this basic truth? I remember how frightened I was to say this to an intimate friend of mine when I sensed it was true.
I really don\'t need you, period. For anything, I don\'t need you. I can be perfectly happy without you.
Result, I enjoy your company thoroughly. There\'s no more anxiety, no more jealousy, no more possessiveness, no clinging. It is a delight to be with you.
I\'m enjoying you on a non-clinging basis. You\'re free. So am I.
My, but this is like talking a foreign language to drug addicts. We\'ve been drugged. We really have been.
Took me many, many months to truly understand this, and mind you, I\'m a Jesuit, brought up in the tradition of Saint Ignatius, whose spiritual exercises are really all about this. And I\'d missed the point because my culture and my society, not my religious society, but the society in India in general, society, had, I mean, if you take it for granted, Jesus had friends. Wait a minute, wait a minute.
What are we talking about? Because you know something? The moment you desire somebody in this way, namely, without you, I will not be happy, you cease to see that person.
You\'re no longer objective. You\'re clinging. We begin to view people in terms of our attachments.
If you\'re attached to appreciation, you know, I\'m quite amused sometimes to see even seemingly objective people like therapists and spiritual directors, et cetera, say, great guy, great guy. You know, I really like him. And I find out later it\'s because he likes me that I like him.
And anybody who attacks me, I don\'t like. Hey, so when someone\'s for you, he\'s OK. And when someone\'s against you, he\'s not OK.

 Then I look into myself and I find the same thing coming up every now and then. If you\'re attached to appreciation and praise, you\'re going to view people in terms of their threat to your attachment or their fostering your attachment. If you\'re a politician and you want to be voted in, how do you think you\'re going to look at people?
How will your interest in people be guided? Who\'s the guy who\'s going to get me the votes? Who\'s the woman?
And so it goes on. And if what you\'re interested is in sex, how do you think you\'re going to look at men and women if you\'re attached to sex and if you\'re attached to power and so on and on and on? That colors your view of human beings and attachment destroys your capacity to love.
What is love? Love is sensitivity. Love is consciousness.
To give you an example, I\'m sitting here listening to a symphony. If all I hear is the sound of the drums, I don\'t hear the symphony. What is a loving heart?
A loving heart is one that is sensitive to the whole of life, to all persons. A heart that doesn\'t harden itself to any person or thing. But the moment you become attached, in my sense of the word, then you\'re blotting out many other things.
You\'ve got eyes only for the object of your attachment. You have ears only for the drum. The heart has got hardened.
Moreover, it has got blinded because you no longer see the object of your attachment objectively. You cannot be objective anymore. Love entails clarity of perception, objectivity.
There is nothing so clear-sighted as love. Then the heart remains soft and sensitive. But when you\'re hell-bent on getting this thing or that or the other, you become ruthless, you become hard, you become insensitive.
But all you need is a few minutes reflection to see this. How can you love people when you need people? You can only use them when you need them emotionally.
If I need you to make me happy, I cannot love you. I got to use you. I got to manipulate you.
I got to find ways and means of winning you. I cannot leave you free. I can only love people when I have emptied my life of people, when I die to the need for people.
Then I\'m right in the desert. And in the beginning, it feels awful. It feels lonely.
But if you can take it for a while, you will suddenly discover that it isn\'t lonely at all. It is solitude. It is aloneness.

 And the desert begins to flower. And at last you know what love is, what God is, what reality is. But giving up the drug in the beginning can be tough unless you have a very keen understanding or and you have suffered enough.
It\'s a great thing to have suffered. Then you\'re sick of it. Make use of suffering to end the suffering.
But people suffer and they go on suffering. That\'s why I said to you the conflict within me sometimes between the role of spiritual director and therapist. As therapist, well, let\'s ease the suffering.
All right. As the spiritual director in me says, let her suffer. She\'ll get sick of this way of relating to people.
And she\'ll finally decide to break out of this prison of emotional dependence on anyone. Am I making sense? Big conflict at times.
Shall I offer a palliative or remove the cancer? Not easy to decide. I\'ll tell you that.
And when the cancer becomes painful enough, you\'re right. You\'re ready. If you have understanding and you\'re ready to watch it.
He says first book and he slams it on the table. Let him keep slamming it on the table. Don\'t pick the book up.
All right. Lots of work to be done in the spiritual life. So much work.
Spirituality is awareness, awareness, awareness, awareness, awareness. The day you begin to understand how you are really picking up things that have no connection with you at all. Like in the old days, and I guess my story is almost everyone\'s story.
Somebody was angry with me. Gee, there\'s something wrong with me. Because that\'s the way we\'ve been drugged.
That\'s the way we\'ve been programmed by our parents. When mother got angry with you, she didn\'t say there\'s something wrong with me. She said, there\'s something wrong with you or I wouldn\'t be angry until I made the great discovery that if you are angry, darling, there\'s something wrong with you.
So you\'d better cope with your anger, stay with it and cope with it. It\'s not mine. Now, whether there\'s something wrong with me or not, I\'ll examine independently of your anger.
I\'m not going to be influenced by your anger. And the funny thing is when I can do this, without feeling any negativity towards you, I can be quite objective towards myself too. Because only a very aware person can do this, not pick up the guilt, not pick up the

 anger.
You\'re having a tantrum, too bad. I don\'t feel the slightest desire to rescue you anymore. And I refuse to feel guilty.
I must talk about guilt. It\'s like, I\'m not going to hate myself for anything I have done because it gets you nowhere. That\'s what guilt is.
I\'m not going to give myself a bad feeling and whip myself for anything I have done right or wrong. I\'m ready to analyze it, to watch it and say, well, if I did wrong, as I will show you presently, it was in unawareness. I was hypnotized.
Nobody does wrong in awareness. And that\'s why theologians tell us nicely, very beautifully said that Jesus could do no wrong. Now that makes very good sense to me because the enlightened person can do no wrong.
What do you think? Was Jesus free? You mean he couldn\'t do wrong and he was free?
Because he was free, he couldn\'t do wrong. Now, since you can do wrong, you\'re not free. Because we\'re chained by something.
So you\'re not free. That\'s a pretty nice bind you\'ve got yourself into, isn\'t it? Well, that\'s, it\'s interesting.
You know, if I\'m sitting here and somebody comes up to me and says, are you free? I say, yes, I\'m free. Well, here\'s this machine gun.
He gives me a light machine guns. He says, why don\'t you mow all these people down? I say, excuse me, I\'m not free to do that.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 038
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 7:07)
Got too much sensitivity to people to be able to do that. I cannot do it. Does that make sense to you?
As soon as you have a sensitive heart, you cannot do this. You simply cannot do it. Could you do it?
He says, yeah, I can. I can. All right, sit here.
He sits here and he said, wait a minute. This isn\'t freedom. This is a sickness.
You need healing. This has far-reaching consequences. You know, I was telling you about this power of words and concepts.
Your Mark Twain put it very nicely once when he said, cold, he says, if the thermometer had been an inch longer, we would have frozen to death. That\'s pretty accurately put, you know, we do freeze to death on words. It\'s like, it\'s not the cold outside that matters, but the thermometer.
It\'s not reality that matters, but what you\'re saying to yourself, you know, they, they told me a lovely one about a guy in Finland, you know, when they were drawing up the Russian Finland border, it was a farmer who had to decide whether he wanted to be in Finland or Russia as they were drawing the boundary line. So after a long time, he said he wanted to be in Finland and he didn\'t want to offend the Russian officials who came up to him and demanded to know why did he want to be in Finland? And the guy says, you know, it has always been my desire to live in mother Russia.
But at my age, I wouldn\'t be able to survive another Russian winter if I want to be in Finland. That brings it out very well, doesn\'t it? It\'s only a word.
It\'s only a concept. But it isn\'t. Not for human beings, not for crazy human beings.
There was a man who once attacked a guru, the master, for claiming this, that human beings were mostly reacting to words, not to reality. As I explained to you this morning, the governor, a beggar, an Indian, an American, the cardinal archbishop, the pope, mother Teresa. I wonder how many would be capable of seeing mother Teresa?
Or would they be seeing what they heard about her? Or would they be seeing what they\'re expecting? So we\'re frequently not looking at reality.
We\'re almost never looking at reality. So this master was attempting to explain to them how human beings react to words. They feed on words.

 They live on words. They\'re perishing because they\'re living on words, not on reality. They\'re not getting nourished on reality.
So one of the men stood up there and protested. He said, I don\'t agree that words have all that effect on us. And the master said, sit down, you son of a bitch.
And the man went livid with rage. He said, you call yourself an enlightened person? You call yourself a master?
You ought to be ashamed of yourself. And so on and on for a couple of minutes. And the master said, pardon me, sir.
I just got carried away. I really beg your pardon. Pardon me.
That was a lapse. I\'m sorry. So the man calmed down.
And the master said, it took just a few words to get a whole tempest within you and a few words to calm you down, didn\'t it? Words, words, words, words. Who will liberate us from words?
How valuable they are. How imprisoning. If they\'re not used properly.
But many of you had questions, I noticed, before we began the break. Do you still want to ask some questions? Yes.
Could you speak a little more loudly? All right. Yes.
What you\'re thinking of is, when you have awareness, your conditioning drops automatically. That depends on the degree of your awareness. Sometimes it\'s greater, sometimes it\'s less.
Remember that little exercise I gave you yesterday when I said, don\'t identify with the feeling. The feeling will go on in the beginning. But as you decide to identify, the intensity will diminish.
And there are times when you get a flash of awareness and in that flash, it drops altogether. So, there are degrees of awareness and we move into that. And sometimes we have more and sometimes we have less.
Towards the end of this session, I hope to give you, at the beginning of the next one, I hope to give you a little exercise to show you the difference between knowledge and awareness, between information and awareness. I said, one cannot do evil in awareness. One can do evil in knowledge or information.
You know that this thing is bad, but you\'re really not aware. Father, forgive them because they do not know. They\'re not aware of what they are doing.

 I am the greatest of sinners, for I persecuted the church of Christ. But friends, I did it unawares. If they had been aware that they were crucifying the Lord of glory, they would never have done so.
A time will come when they will persecute you and they will think they\'re doing a service to God. What do you know? Thomas Aquinas puts it so nicely.
He says, every time someone sins, they\'re sinning under the guise of good. They\'re blinding themselves. They\'re seeing something as good, even though they know it is bad.
They\'re telling themselves in some way. They\'re rationalizing because they\'re seeking something as good under the pretext of good. But more about that when we talk of freedom.
Anyone else? Yes. It\'s very freeing to become aware of awareness.
[Speaker 2] (7:08 - 8:09)
I\'m using the example of two examples at work. There are many people lining up and you\'re maintaining a steady pace. It\'s very difficult to maintain, but by beginning the process of awareness, eventually that nervousness will dissipate and that peace will find its way.
[Speaker 1] (8:09 - 10:28)
Did you pick up your attachment there? Peace. Your attachment to calm and peace.
You\'re saying, unless I\'m peaceful, I won\'t be happy. Did it ever occur to you, you could be happy in your tension? Before enlightenment, I used to be depressed.
After enlightenment, I continue to be depressed. Ah, you hit upon something there. You see, if you don\'t make a goal out of relaxation and sensitivity.
Ever heard of these people who get tense trying to relax? Yes. They\'re making an effort to relax.
Well, if one is tense, one observes one\'s tension. You will never understand yourself if you seek to change yourself. I\'ll be explaining that to you later when we talk about self- change.
The harder you try to change yourself, the worse it gets. You are called upon to be aware. Get the feel of that telephone.
Get the feel of the ring of the phone, the jarred nerves. Get the sensation of that. Get the sensation of the steering wheel in the car.

 In other words, come to reality and leave the tension or the calmness to take care of itself. As a matter of fact, you will leave it to take care of yourself because you\'ll be too preoccupied or too occupied getting in touch with reality. See, this is what I mean.
Kind of step by step and let whatever happens, happens. You know, the real change will come about in you when it is brought about not by your ego, but by reality. Awareness releases reality to change you.
You change. In sensitivity, you change. In consciousness and awareness, you change.
But you\'ve got to experience this. Useless taking my word for it. But if you\'ve got a plan, if your ego has drawn up a plan in its own cunning way and trying to push you into that, you\'ll meet with resistance.
There\'ll be trouble. Who else? Pretty good questions. Yes. Yes.
[Speaker 2] (10:31 - 10:45)
All right.
[Speaker 1] (10:45 - 11:33)
The question is, is being awakened a growing process? At times you\'re awake, at times you go to sleep, etc. Do you pick up the mild anxiety behind that?
You want to be awake, don\'t you? You want to find out if you\'re really awake or not. Now, that\'s part of asceticism.
It doesn\'t matter. How strange that sounds in a culture and a society where we\'ve been trained to achieve goals, get somewhere. There\'s nowhere to go.
You know why? Because you\'re there already. The Japanese have a nice way of putting it.
The day you cease to travel, you will arrive.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 039
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 11:34)
Now, if your attitude were, I want to be aware, I want to be in touch with whatever is, and let whatever happens, happen. If I\'m awake, fine. If I\'m asleep, fine.
But the moment you make a goal out of it, and you\'re attempting to get it, see what\'s happening there is, you\'re seeking ego glorification, ego promotion. You want the good feeling that you\'ve made it. I got news for you.
When you make it, you won\'t know. Your left hand won\'t know what your right hand is doing. Lord, when did we do this?
We had no awareness. Charity is never so lovely as when one has no consciousness that one is practicing charity. You mean I helped you?
I was just enjoying myself. I was just doing my dance. It helped you.
That\'s wonderful. Congratulations to you. No credit to me, because tell me, if you\'re giving Jesus the credit for all the good that happened to people when he spoke, hold on to your chairs now, why aren\'t you blaming him for all the evil that happened to people when he spoke?
If I had not come, they would not have sinned. Who\'s to blame? They are to blame.
And when they benefited, who gets the credit? He. Hey, wait a minute.
The rain that is exactly the same in its nature produces thorns in the marsh and flowers in the garden. That\'s up to you. So, when you attain, when you are aware, increasingly you will not be bothered about labels like awake or asleep.
You know, I must say I cheated with all of you. I used it to use an Ignatian phrase, getting in through your door, arousing your curiosity, and I\'m sorry to say your spiritual greed, but greed nonetheless. Say, let\'s come awake.
It\'s for starters. After a while, it doesn\'t matter. One is aware because one lives.
The unaware life is not worth living. And you will leave change to take care of itself. We have another question here.
Yes. All right. The question is, the harder you try to change, the worse it gets.
Is there a passivity there? Remember I said, the more you resist something, the greater power you give to it. So, resist not evil.
When someone strikes you on the right cheek, offer him your left as well. You always

 empower the demon you fight. That\'s very oriental.
Flow with the enemy and you overcome the enemy. How does one cope with evil? Not by fighting it, but by understanding it.
In understanding, it disappears. How does one cope with darkness? Not with one\'s fists.
You don\'t chase darkness out of the room with a broom. You turn on the light. But the more you fight darkness, the more real it becomes to you, and the more you exhaust yourself.
When you turn on the light of awareness, it melts. Watch this. Scrap of paper.
This is a billion dollar check. I must renounce it. The gospels say, I must renounce it.
Got to renounce it. Got to give it up. I want eternal life.
Substitute one greed with another greed. Spiritual greed with the other greed. Before you had a worldly ego, now you\'ve got a spiritual ego.
But you\'ve got an ego all the rest, all the same. Kind of a refined one. More difficult to cope with.
I got to get rid of it. So, I\'m giving it up. I\'m really giving it up.
But something in me is drawing me towards it. When you renounce something, you\'re tied to it. But if instead of renouncing it, I look at it, I say, hey, this isn\'t a million dollar check.
This is a scrap of paper. Lost interest. Gone.
Nothing to fight. Nothing to renounce. Or if I look under it and I say, heavens, look at the anxiety under this.
Look at the pain. Look at the depressions that are going to follow. I don\'t want this.
Give it up. Understanding. Awareness.
Does that address itself to your question? Don\'t fight. Don\'t make efforts.
Don\'t drag yourself somewhere. Find out what\'s going on. Like, if somebody has no appetite for food and you force the kid to eat.
Come on, eat. No, no, no. What\'s called for is understanding.
What\'s going on? Now, you have no appetite for happiness. You have no appetite for giving up your drug or whatever.

 What\'s going on? The violence will not change you. It might change your behavior.
That\'s what I meant. But I have much more to say about it as we go along. About what does change really entail?
How does meditation, how does understanding, how does awareness bring it about? Now, during these days, certainly this would apply to quite a few of you, you have understood something or other about what\'s going on in you. And you\'ve experienced some little change, have you?
Some little change, some little insight. I\'m going to show you how insight, awareness, understanding produces easy change. There\'s no residue of violence.
If you call in the army and suppress the citizens of a city, there\'s going to be a mutiny and you\'re going to invest a lot of force to keep them down. So it isn\'t violence and effort that\'s called for. Who else?
Yes. All right. She doesn\'t understand what is real and what is unreal.
Look, in my country, lots of men grow up with the belief that women are chattel. I married her. She\'s my possession.
Now, this guy walks up to you and says, that\'s real. Women are things. What would your response be?
Not true. Right? Depends, she said.
You don\'t agree with him. If he\'s married to you... She said, oh, he\'s married to me, then it\'s not real.
It\'s not true. That\'s interesting. I\'m your widow.
That\'s a good one. She says, if he was married to her, she\'d be a widow. Isn\'t that great? That\'s terrific. Okay. Yes.
Now, is this guy to blame? Get ready for a shock. He isn\'t.
He isn\'t. Just like many Americans are not to blame for the way they\'re viewing Russians, they\'re not to blame. They just got dyed in a certain color and there they are and that\'s the color through which they\'re looking at the world and they see that color.
Now, what does it mean to make him real? To make him aware that he\'s looking at the world through colored glasses. Ah, there is salvation.
There\'s no other salvation. Because I could say to him, stop it. That\'s not good.

 But till he has seen, he\'s always in danger of finding some other way of acting according to this conviction that was given to him. I told you that\'s the making of the terrorist. He\'s absolutely convinced.
He sees a real world out there. He\'s got real enemies. He\'s got people who hate him.
But when we look at we say funny, that\'s not there at all. You\'re imagining things. You\'re conditioned.
So the great search of spirituality, the great task of spirituality, where am I coming from? Is this real or am I conditioned? Am I brainwashed?
My dears, to doubt is infinitely more important than to adore. To question is so much more important than to believe. And it\'s because we don\'t do this that we have people killing one another.
The readiness, the openness to question everything, the readiness to doubt everything. Doubt, says a great Indian mystic, is a healing bomb. Though it burn at first, it will heal you.
It begins to burn because when those convictions that you\'ve injected, introjected, are beginning to wear off, you feel as if you\'re losing your whole life. My gosh, I\'ve been a communist all my life. I was seeing the world through communist eyes.
Has it ever struck you that if you are thinking as a communist, you\'ve ceased to think? If you\'re thinking as a communist, you\'ve ceased to think. Does that make sense?
How about if you\'re thinking as a Muslim? Same thing. As soon as you\'re thinking as anything, you stop thinking.
As soon as you\'re looking at the world through an ideology...

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 040
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 5:43)
But what is an ideology? Those are words. Those are theories.
Those are ideas and concepts. No reality fits an ideology. And all good ideologues will tell you that.
They\'ll say, well, this is the best we\'ve come up with. Doesn\'t fit. Life is beyond that.
That is why people are always searching for a meaning to life. Has it never struck you that life has no meaning? Cannot have meaning.
What is meaning? Meaning is a formula. Meaning is something that makes sense to the mind.
But every time you\'ve made sense out of reality, you bump into something that destroys it all. And you say, well, God is a mystery. Life is a mystery.
We don\'t really understand it. We don\'t really know. It\'s like the mystics graft meaning onto their experience of reality.
But it is really only a graft. Falteringly, inadequately, they try to express something. They give some clue.
They give an indication. As I\'ll tell you when we talk about the scriptures, they tell you a story, hoping you\'ll get a clue, but it\'s not contained in that formula. Goes beyond the formula.
Meaning is only found when you go beyond meaning. Life only makes sense when you perceive it as mystery and it makes no sense to the conceptualizing mind. Yes, you have a question.
Meaning is a set of sentences that your mind can understand. Label. Very well put.
Yes. Can what? Oh, I didn\'t say adoration wasn\'t important.
I just said that doubt was infinitely more important than adoration. Everywhere people are searching for objects to adore. I don\'t find people awake enough to question themselves, their attitude, their convictions.
I\'ll tell you this. How happy we would be if a number of those terrorists would adore less and question more. How about that?
Ah, now you\'re getting what I\'m saying. Only we don\'t like to apply it to ourselves. We think we\'re all right.

 The terrorists are wrong. You know something? The guy who\'s a terrorist for you is a martyr for the other party.
Mm-hmm. Yes. Aloneness.
Aloneness. Loneliness is you\'re missing people. Aloneness is you\'re enjoying yourself.
Remember that quip of Bernard Shaw? When they asked him whether he was, he went, they saw him at a party. You know those awful things that you call cocktail parties where nothing is said and I just don\'t see how people enjoy that, but evidently some do.
So he found himself at one of these parties and they said, are you enjoying yourself? And Bernard Shaw said, it\'s the only thing I\'m enjoying here. Right.
So aloneness is when you enjoy yourself and hey, listen to this, and others, because you know something? You never enjoy others really when you are enslaved to them. Needing people means needing them emotionally.
Community is not formed by a set of slaves. People enslaved to people. People demanding that other people make them happy.
Go on, you\'re supposed to make me happy because my happiness is in you. Go on, you\'re not supposed to be moody now because if you\'re moody, you affect me. Change your mood.
I need you. Community is formed by emperors and princesses. You\'re an emperor. You\'re not a beggar. You\'re a princess. You\'re not a beggar.
There\'s no begging bowl there. You\'re enjoying yourself and reality. And so you enjoy everybody because there\'s no clinging.
There\'s no anxiety. There\'s no fear. There\'s no hangover.
There\'s no possessiveness. There are no demands. Free people form community, not slaves.
Now to my mind, this is such a simple truth, but you\'re so right there. It has been drowned out by a whole culture, including a religious culture. Religious culture can be very manipulative if you don\'t watch out.
[Speaker 2] (5:43 - 5:57)
This is the end of the 10th tape. This is the 11th tape of the New York Conference\'s Wake Up to Life by Father Anthony DeMello.
[Speaker 1] (5:59 - 11:33)

 There was another hand up here somewhere. Yes. All right.
Now, let me reword your question for you or your comment and you check me out. See if it\'s all right. She says, to my mind, awareness is a kind of a high point, the plateau.
Until I get there, I want to experience every moment as it is. Now, first of all, don\'t make a goal out of awareness. There\'s nowhere to go.
There\'s nothing to achieve. How do I get to this awareness? Through awareness.
Now, when you say you really want to experience every moment, you\'re really talking awareness because you don\'t want to experience this guy. A friend of mine who has just gone to Ireland, he tells me he\'s an American citizen. He said, I\'m entitled to an passport.
So I\'m getting one because I\'m scared to travel abroad now on an American passport. You know, I don\'t want a terrorist walking in and say, let me have a look at that passport of yours. He says, well, I\'m Irish.
I fought oppressors too. So this guy. Well, you don\'t want to sit next to this guy on a plane and see an Irishman or an American.
You don\'t want to see labels. You want to taste and experience this person as he is. And you want to do that with everything.
Unprejudiced. You don\'t just want to taste your words. How many people spend their life not eating food?
They\'re eating the menu. They really are. Can you imagine somebody saying, reading the menu and says, beef steak, there it is.
No, for heaven\'s sake, wait a minute. That\'s only an indication of something that\'s available. So you want to eat the steak, not the words.
That\'s awareness. That\'s awareness. All right.
Your dependence. Now, as you become aware of that, as you watch that. Disidentify and watch that.
And as I\'m going to tell you presently, don\'t condemn yourself. You\'re only going to make it worse. But if you would see the pain it brings you, you would drop it.
You\'re quite right. You want the pain. You want the pain of having it.
And you\'re angry with the pain. How wonderful. Now, I\'m going to ask you a personal question.
Have you spent 500 hours watching this? That would work out to an hour a day for over

 a year. Or the book is useless.
No, no, I\'m talking about watching this. Have you spent hours watching this? Two, two.
You will see miracles happening. Famous American therapist who said that. Get out, lose your mind and come to your senses.
Yes. Lose your mind and come to your senses. But now take that with a pinch of salt.
Because you need an intelligent mind to understand. It\'s not as if mere sense awareness is going to heal you of everything. If you\'re still keeping your programming, you\'re still keeping your conditioning.
If you still think your wife is a thing and not a person. If you still think that you\'re looking at reality objectively, when you\'re looking at it distortedly. Well, just coming to your senses may not be all that much of a help.
Certainly a help. But one needs intelligence to understand too. Awareness isn\'t a tool. Awareness is a method. Awareness is the goal. Awareness is life.
One cannot misuse awareness. One is aware. One cannot.
How does one misuse? Non-misuse. Be aware.
Be aware. No one will tell you that the unaware life is preferable to the aware life. Be open to feedback.
Be open to questioning. To be open. To be sensitive. To be aware. One cannot misuse that. Yes.
All right. Can one be fully human without experiencing tragedy? The only tragedy there is in the world is ignorance.
And all evil comes from there. The only tragedy there is in the world is un-wakefulness and unawareness. And from there comes fear.
And from fear comes everything else. But death is not a tragedy at all. Dying is wonderful.
But it\'s only horrible to people who have never understood life. It\'s only when you\'re afraid of life that you fear death. It\'s only dead people who fear death.
But people who are alive have no fear of death. And one of your American authors has put it so well. The test of your awakening, I don\'t remember what word he uses exactly, is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy.

 What is the end of the world for a caterpillar?

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 041
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 11:35)
is a butterfly for the master. Death is resurrection, but we\'re not talking about something that will happen, but is happening right now. If you would die to the past, if you would die to every minute, the person who is fully alive is the person who is full of death.
We\'re always dying for things. We\'re always shedding everything in order to be fully alive and to be resurrected at every moment. Now, the mystics, the saints and others, their great effort is to wake people up.
If we don\'t wake them up, my dears, we\'re always going to have these other minor ills of hunger and war and violence, etc., because of the great ill, the great evil of sleeping people, ignorant people. We\'re always coming up with new schemes, aren\'t we? The great debate going on in India about Mother Teresa\'s work, because lots of people are saying, what\'s she doing?
She\'s running an ambulance service for people who are being crushed by an unjust society. You know, imagine a huge factory and people are getting crushed there. So they\'re taking these broken bodies and throwing them out the window.
And Mother Teresa comes along with her sisters, picks up the body, puts them in an ambulance and takes them away. We mustn\'t do that. We\'ve got to change the whole system.
Is that right? Yeah. Well, wait a minute.
I think she\'s doing a great work because, all right, at least there\'s somebody to pick up the broken bodies. And they say, rightly perhaps, it\'s precisely the owners of the factories who are giving her the money to keep the lawn clean, pick them up. Something there, something.
But I wouldn\'t exclude her work at all. But what exactly do you plan to do now? Take over the factory, huh?
Yeah. You know what\'s wrong with the factory? It\'s being run by wolves.
Are you going to substitute it with another set of wolves? You think changing the system and putting wolves in charge is going to change it? In Mexico, there was a Jesuit who became the treasurer of the province.
He says he wrote a note to Arrupe once to ask him about the relative value of communism, socialism and capitalism. And father Arrupe gave him a lovely reply. He said, a system is about as good or as bad as the people who use it.

 You know, people with golden hearts would make capitalism work beautifully. They say, look, I don\'t want to crush you out of the market. I\'ll make a little space for you so you can run your little business too or whatever.
But if that doesn\'t change, if people haven\'t woken up, meaning they have not become sensitive to reality, then we have tragedy. That\'s the origin and the root of tragedy. Oh, yes.
All right. OK. Some people want to die.
Others don\'t. But again, that\'s on another level. See, whether a person wants to die or not is not the point.
The point is, does one fear death or not? And people who are fully alive don\'t fear death anymore. They have nothing to lose.
They have no achievements to lean on. But I\'ll have to explain that to you later. Let\'s continue with what I was planning to talk about, and that is change.
Now, changing. I said to you yesterday, we\'re talking about people who are always wanting others to change so that they will be happy. Remember?
And I was saying, don\'t ask the world to change. You change first. Then you will get a good enough look at the world so that you will be able to change whatever you think ought to be changed.
First, take the plank out of your own eye. But if you don\'t take it out of your eye, you have lost the right to change anyone or anything. Till you are aware of yourself, you have no right attempting to interfere with anyone else or with the world.
Now, the danger of attempting to change others and to change things, if you yourself are not aware, is that you may be changing things for your own convenience, your own pride, your own dogmatic convictions and beliefs, or just to relieve your negative feelings. I happen to have negative feelings, so you\'d better change so that I\'ll feel good. First, cope with your negative feelings so that when you move out to change others, you\'re coming from love.
You\'re not coming from hate. You\'re not coming from negativity. You\'re coming from love.
And strange as it may seem, people can be very hard on others and very loving. The surgeon can be so hard on the patient and so loving. Love can be very hard indeed.
Now, what does self-change entail? I\'ve said it in so many words again and again, but I\'m going to break it down into little segments. First, insight.

 Not effort, not cultivating habits, not having an ideal. Ideals do a lot of damage. You\'re the whole time focusing on what should be instead of understanding what is.
And so you\'re imposing what should be on present reality, never having understood what present reality is. Now, insight. Let me give you an example of that from my own experience, counseling experience.
There\'s this priest who comes to me and says he\'s lazy. He wants to be more industrious, more active. He is lazy.
And I say, lazy? What does that mean? Now, we\'re going to get into awareness, into insight.
What\'s he talking about? In the old days, I would have said to him, oh, you\'re lazy, huh? He says, yes.
Well, let\'s see. Why don\'t you do this? Why don\'t you make a list of things you want to do every day?
And then every night you tick them off. That will give you a good feeling. And then so build up a habit.
Or I might say to him, who\'s your ideal? Who\'s your patron saint? He says, Saint Francis Xavier.
Now, see how much that guy worked? You\'ve got to meditate on your ideal and that will get you moving, etc. Now, that\'s one way of going about it.
But I\'m sorry to say, it\'s superficial. Making him use his willpower, his effort, etc. doesn\'t last very long.
His behavior may change, but he does not. Let\'s move in the other direction. I say to him, lazy?
What\'s that? You know, there are about 500 million types of laziness. Let\'s hear what\'s your type of laziness.
Would you describe what you mean when you\'re talking about laziness? He says, well, you know, I never get anything done. Uh-huh.
You don\'t feel like doing anything. That\'s right. I don\'t feel like doing anything.
You mean right from the moment you get up in the morning? Yes. He says, you know, I wake up in the morning and nothing worth getting up for.
He says, that\'s right. Nothing worth getting up for. You\'re depressed.

 He says, you could call it that. I\'m depressed. So I\'ve sort of withdrawn.
Have you always been like this? Well, not always. When I was younger, I was more active.
When I was in the seminary, I was full of life. When did this begin? Oh, about three years ago, four years ago.
Anything happened? He\'s thinking, well, if you have to think so much, nothing special could have happened four years ago. How about the year before that?
What happened? He said, well, I was ordained. Anything happened in your ordination year?
No. Well, there was a little thing, the final examination in theology. You know, I failed and it was a bit of a disappointment, but I\'ve gotten over it.
It\'s all right. What happened? He says, well, the bishop was planning to send me to Rome to eventually teach in the seminary.
And while I rather like the idea, but since I failed in the examination, he changed his mind. He sent me to this parish. He said, actually, that was an injustice because the man on the board, he was, oh, he\'s getting worked up now.
There\'s anger there. He hasn\'t gotten over it. We\'ve got to work through that.
He\'s disappointed. It\'s useless preaching him a sermon. We\'ve got to find out what\'s happening there.
It\'s useless giving him an ideal. We\'ve got to get him to face his anger, his disappointment, to get some insight into all of that. When he\'s able to work through that, he\'s back into life again.
If I had only given him an exhortation, if I had said, do you have married brothers and sisters? I do. Do you see how hard they have to work?
And you know, the trouble with us clergy, we get, we have everything found for, you know, we get our meals. That\'ll make him guilty, but he hasn\'t got self-insight, which is going to heal him. So that\'s the first thing, the marvels of psychological insight.
Now, there\'s a great boon in psychology, great help. Modern psychology is indeed a great help to understand how our emotions keep tying us into all kinds of situations. Not really necessary.
It isn\'t too difficult to unearth his addiction, his attachment. There\'s another great help, understanding. Did you really think this was going to make you happy?

 You just assumed it was going to make you happy. Why did you want to teach in the seminary? Because you wanted to be happy.
You thought that being a professor, having a certain status and prestige would make you happy. Would it? Understanding is called for there.
Or the other thing that I told you the other day, when I made the distinction between I and me, there\'s a great help to dis-identify what\'s going on. After we unearth what\'s causing your depression, that\'s another

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 042
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 11:35)
difficult to see at all. Don\'t give, put labels to yourself. I\'m not going to go over that again because I\'ve described it already.
Meditating and imitating externally the behavior of Jesus is no help. It\'s not a question of imitating Christ. It is a question of becoming what Jesus was.
It was, it\'s a question of becoming Christ, becoming aware, understanding what\'s going on within you. You know, all the other methods we use for self-change could be compared to pushing a car. Let\'s suppose you have to go from here to, what shall we say, to Syracuse.
I have to go from here to Syracuse. The car breaks down somewhere. Say, well, too car, too bad.
The car\'s broken down. We roll up our sleeves and begin to push the car. And we push, and we push, and we push, and we push, till we get to Syracuse.
Say, well, we made it. Where do we go next? St. Louis. Oh, God. We roll up our sleeves and push it all the way to St. Louis. They say, hey, you\'re making a mess of your life.
Yes, but we got there, didn\'t we? But you call this life. You know what you need? You need an expert. You need a mechanic. Lift the hood.
Say, hey, you got to change your spark plug. That\'s what we do. Turn the ignition key, and the car\'s moving.
You need the expert. You need understanding. You need insight. You need awareness. You don\'t need pushing. You don\'t need effort.
That\'s why people are so tired. People are so weary. This afternoon, I\'ll tell you the root of the whole thing.
You were trained, and I was trained, to be dissatisfied with ourselves. That\'s where the thing is. That\'s where the evil comes from, psychologically.
We\'re always dissatisfied. We\'re always discontent. We\'re always pushing. So go on. Make more efforts. More and more efforts.
There\'s always that conflict inside, but there\'s very little understanding. I told you about those red letter days in my life. One of them was in Chicago.

 One was in Spain, and the third one was in India. It was a great day, really. It was the day after I was ordained, and I sat in a confessional.
We had a very saintly Jesuit priest in our parish, a Spaniard, a Spanish priest. I remember the day I went to the novitiate. I thought, I\'d better make a clean breast of everything, and confess everything, so when I go to the novitiate, I\'ll be nice and clean, and I won\'t have to tell the novice master anything.
And also there, he\'d have crowds of people outside lining up his confessional, because he\'d have a violet curtain, and I don\'t know where he got this, a violet colored handkerchief, which he\'d cover his eyes with, and he\'d just mumble something, and give you a penance, and send you away. And he\'d only met me a couple of times, you know, once. He called me Antony, Antony, so all right.
So he met me, and I thought, I\'ll go to Solaire. I stood in line. When my turn came, I changed my voice, and I said, it\'s, you know, quite a while since I\'ve been to confession.
He listened to me patiently, and he gave me my penance, and he gave me the absolution, and he said, Antony, when are you, oh God, when are you going to the novitiate? Well, I went to this place the day after my ordination. He said, do you want to hear confessions?
I said, yeah, all right. So he said, go and sit in my confessional. I thought, my, the holy man, I\'m going to sit in his confessional.
I heard confessions for three hours. It was Palm Sunday. It had the Easter crowd coming in.
I came out depressed, not at what I had heard, because I\'d been led to expect that, and having some inkling of what was going on in my own heart, I was shocked by nothing. You know what depressed me? The realization that I\'d give them that little pious advice, now pray to the blessed mother, she loves you, and remember that God is on your side.
But what was I saying? Were these pious platitudes any cure for cancer, really? And this is cancer I\'m dealing with.
And I swore a mighty oath to myself that day. I\'ll learn. I\'ll learn.
So that it would not be said of me, father, what you said was absolutely true and totally useless. Awareness, insight, because when you get the expert, when you become an expert, you will soon become an expert. You don\'t need to take a course in psychology.
You know, as you begin to observe yourself, to watch yourself, to pick up those negative feelings, you\'ll find your own way of explaining it, and you\'ll notice the change. But then you\'ll have to deal with a big villain, and that villain is self-condemnation, self-hatred,

 self-dissatisfaction. Let\'s continue with change through awareness, effortlessness in change.
I thought of a nice image for that. The sailboat. You have a sailboat with a mighty wind in its sails, and it glides along so effortlessly.
And the boatman, what does he have to do? Nothing but steer. He makes no effort.
He doesn\'t push the boat. That\'s something of an image of what happens when change comes about through awareness, through understanding. Plenty of quotes today.
I was going through some of my notes this afternoon, and I found some quotes that fit pretty well with what I\'ve been saying this morning, so I thought I\'d read them to you. Listen to this one. There is nothing so cruel as nature.
In the whole universe, there is no escape from it. And yet, it is not nature that does the injury, but the person\'s own heart. Does that make sense?
It isn\'t nature that does the injury, but the person\'s own heart. You know the story of Paddy who fell from the scaffolding and got a good bump? He was working on that building, and they said, did the fall hurt you, Paddy?
And Paddy says, no, it was the stop that hurt, not the fall. When you cut water, the water doesn\'t get hurt. When you cut something that\'s solid, it breaks.
You\'ve got solid attitudes inside. You\'ve got solid illusions inside. That\'s what bumps against nature.
That\'s where you get hurt. That\'s where the pain comes. Beginning to make sense?
My, I\'ve been talking about nothing else these days. You pick up your addictions, you pick up your illusions, you identify yourself with the me, you\'re going to get hurt, you\'re going to experience pain. So that\'s where it comes from.
How come you experience so much pain in this situation, someone else doesn\'t? Same situation, different heart, different outlook, different attitude, change your attitude, something will happen. Here\'s a lovely one.
These are mostly from oriental sages. Don\'t even remember from whom. It really doesn\'t matter.
Like in the Bible, the author doesn\'t matter. What is said is what matters. If the eye is unobstructed, the result is sight.
If the ear is unobstructed, the result is hearing. If the nose is unobstructed, the result is a sense of smell. If the mouth is unobstructed, the result is a sense of taste.

 If the mind is unobstructed, the result is wisdom. When you drop those barriers that you have erected through your concepts and conditionings, wisdom is not something acquired. Wisdom is not experience.
Wisdom comes from not being influenced by experience. Wisdom is not applying yesterday\'s solution to today\'s problem. As somebody said to me when I was doing my degree in psychology in Chicago years ago, someone said, frequently in the life of a priest, fifty years experience is one year\'s experience repeated fifty times.
You got the same solutions. This is the way to deal with the alcoholic. This is the way to deal with priests.
This is the way to deal with sisters. This is the way to deal with a divorcee. That isn\'t wisdom.
Wisdom is to be sensitive to this situation, to this person, uninfluenced by any carry over from the past. No residue from the experience of the past. Quite unlike what most people are accustomed to thinking.
I would add another sentence to the ones I\'ve read. When the heart is unobstructed, the result is love. Now I\'ve been talking a great deal about love these days, and I told you there\'s nothing that can be said really about love.
We can only speak of non-love and drop that. We can only speak of addictions and drop that. But of love itself, nothing may be said explicitly.
How would I describe that? You know what I decided to do? I hope it\'ll go down well with you.
I decided to give you one of those meditations I\'m writing in a new book of mine, one of those reflections. I\'ll read it to you slowly, and you meditate on it as we go along. Because I\'ve got it put down rather bitterly there, and I could get that done in three or four minutes, otherwise it would take me half an hour.
Let\'s try it out, shall we? Okay, it\'s a comment on a gospel sentence, and the sentence is, most of these reflections I\'ve written in this book deal with gospel reflections. I was just thinking this morning of another nice reflection.
This one comes from Plato, by the way. One cannot make a slave of a friend.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 043
[Speaker 1] (0:03 - 11:33)
For a free person is free even in prison. Or rather, one cannot make a slave of a wise person. Does that ring a bell?
If someone forces you to go one mile, go two. You think you\'ve made a slave out of me, putting a load on my back? You haven\'t.
Exactly what I was talking about all of these days. You\'re trying to change exterior reality? My dear, if you need to be out of prison in order to be free, you are a prisoner indeed.
Freedom is not in exterior circumstances. Freedom resides in the heart. And when you have attained wisdom, who can enslave you?
And you\'re out of prison and enslaved by your addictions and your attachments and your conditionings. And your negative emotions. You call yourself free?
Aha, there it is. Now listen to this gospel sentence. He sent the people away.
After doing that, he went up to the mountain to pray alone. It grew late, and he was there all by himself. That\'s what love is all about.
Has it ever occurred to you that you can only love when you are alone? What does it mean to love? It means to see a person, a thing, a situation as it really is, and not as you imagine it to be.
And to give it the response that it deserves, you can hardly be said to love what you do not even see. And what prevents us from seeing? Our conditioning?
Our concepts, our categories, our prejudices, our projections? The labels that we have drawn from our culture and from our past experiences. Seeing is the most arduous thing that a human being can undertake, for it calls for a disciplined, alert mind.
Remember what I said to you this morning? Am I really seeing this person, or am I coming from my conditioning, or from my prejudiced view? It calls for an alert mind.
But most people would much rather lapse into mental laziness than take the trouble to see each person, each thing, in present moment freshness. Let\'s stop there now and ask, is that clear, or isn\'t it? To see, that\'s the least we could demand of love.
See me, as someone said once, I\'ll always remember the false image that I had of you. I will always love the false image that I had of you. Am I loving the image, or am I loving this person?

 Am I projecting something from the past onto this person? Very well. To drop your conditioning in order to see is arduous enough, but seeing calls for something that is more painful still.
The dropping of the control which society exercises over you. A control whose tentacles have penetrated to the very roots of your being, so that to remove it is like tearing yourself apart. What is this control?
If you wish to understand this, think of a little child that is given a taste for drugs. As the drugs penetrate the body of the child, it becomes addicted, and its whole being cries out for the drug. To be without the drug is so unbearable a torment that it seems preferable to die.
Think of that image. The body has got addicted to the drug. Now this is exactly what your society did to you when you were born.
You were not allowed to enjoy the solid, nutritious food of life. Namely, work, play, fun, laughter, the company of people, the pleasures of the senses and the mind. You were given a taste for the drug called approval, appreciation, attention.
You know to the point where psychologists began to tell us that a child needs attention. You\'ve got to give him plenty of attention after you\'ve drugged the child. Yes.
I\'ll be quoting a great, great man after a while. A man called Neil. Those of you in education have surely heard of him.
A.S. Neil, the author of Summerhill. Remind me to recommend two books to you tonight. I\'ll write them on the board.
I\'m only going to recommend two, and one of them is going to be Summerhill. Neil. Neil says the sign of a sick child is that it is always hovering around its parents.
It is interested in persons. The healthy child has no interest in persons. It is interested in things.
You know, when the child is sure of mother\'s love, it forgets mother. It\'s going out to explore the world. It\'s curious, looking for a frog to put into its mouth, kind of thing.
When he\'s hovering around mother, bad sign, he\'s insecure. Maybe mother has been trying to suck love out of the child, and not giving the child all the freedom and assurance it wanted. Mother\'s always been threatening to go away, in many subtle ways.
All right, so we were given a taste for the drug called addiction, approval, attention. The drug called success. You\'ve got to make it to the top.
Prestige, get your name in the papers. Power, be the boss. That\'s a success story.

 People take orders from you. We were given a taste for this. Be the captain of the team.
Lead the band. Having got a taste for these drugs, you became addicted and began to dread their loss. So the control.
You felt terror at the prospect of failure, of making mistakes. The prospect of criticism from others. So you became cravenly dependent on people and you lost your freedom.
Others now have the power to make you happy or miserable. You\'re craving for your drug. And much as you hate the suffering that this involves, you find yourself completely helpless.
There is never a minute when consciously or unconsciously you are not aware of, you\'re not attuned to the reaction of others. Marching to the beat of their drum. A nice definition of an awakened person is that this person no longer marches to the drums of society.
This person dances to the tune of the music that springs up from within. When you are ignored or disapproved of, you experience a loneliness so unbearable that you crawl back to people. To beg for the comforting drug called support, encouragement, reassurance.
To live with people in this state involves a never-ending tension. Have you ever paused to think of that? Living with people is tension.
Sartre, hell is the other. How true when you are in this state of dependence. But how true?
You\'ve always got to be on your best behavior. You can never let your hair down. You\'ve got to live up to expectations.
You\'re always tense. To be with people is to live in tension. To be without them brings the agony of loneliness.
You miss them. You have lost your capacity to see them exactly as they are and to respond to them accurately. Because your perception of them is clouded by the need to get your drug.
You see them in as much as they are a support for getting your drug or a threat to having your drug removed. You\'re always looking at people consciously or unconsciously through these eyes. Will I get what I want from them?
Will I not get what I want from them? And if they can neither support nor threaten my drug, I\'m not interested in them. That\'s a horrible thing to say.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 044
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 11:34)
Friends, I wonder if there\'s anyone in this room of whom this cannot be said. If we really dropped our illusions in as much as they can give me what I want or deprive me of what I want, I\'m interested, I\'m alert, otherwise not much interest or no interest at all. The consequence of this is terrifying and unescapable.
You have lost your capacity to love. If you wish to love, you must learn to see again. And if you wish to see, you must give up your drug.
As simple as that. Give up your dependence. You must tear away from your being the tentacles of society that have penetrated to the marrow.
You must drop out. Externally, everything will go on before. You will continue to be in the world, but will no longer be of it.
Because in your heart, you will now be free at last and utterly alone. And your drug, sorry, it is only in this aloneness, in this utter solitude, that dependence on your drug will die. Incidentally, aloneness means not, not having the company of people.
It means not depending emotionally anymore. This, for this aloneness, you don\'t go to the desert. You\'re right in the middle of people.
You\'re enjoying them immensely. But they no longer have the power to make you happy or miserable. That\'s what aloneness means.
So in this solitude, your dependence dies and the capacity to love is born. For one no longer sees others as means of satisfying one\'s addiction. Only someone who has attempted this knows the terror of the process.
It is like inviting yourself to die. It is like asking the poor drug addict to give up the only happiness he has ever known. And to replace it with the taste for bread and fruit and the clean, fresh morning air and the sweetness of the water from the mountain stream.
While he is struggling with his withdrawal symptoms and with the emptiness that he experiences within himself, now that his drug is gone. To his fevered mind, nothing can fill the emptiness except his drug. Can you imagine a life in which you refuse to enjoy, to take pleasure in a single word of approval and appreciation?
Or to rest your head on anyone\'s shoulder for support? Or a life in which you depend on no one emotionally so no one has the power to make you happy or miserable anymore? You refuse to need any particular person or to be special to anyone.
Or to tell anyone, to call anyone your own. Even the birds of the air have their nests and

 the foxes their holes. But you will have nowhere to rest your head in your journey through life.
If you ever get to this stage, you will at last know what it means to see with a vision that is clear and unclouded by fear or desire. Every word there is measured. To see at last with a vision that is clear and unclouded by fear or by desire.
And you will know what it means to love. But to come to the land of love, you must pass through the pains of death. For to love persons means to have died to the need for persons and to be utterly alone.
How would you ever get there? By a ceaseless awareness, by the infinite patience and compassion that you would have for a drug addict. By developing a taste for the good things of life.
To counter the craving for your drug. What good things? The love of work, which you enjoy doing for love of itself.
The love of laughter and intimacy with people. To whom you do not cling and on whom you do not depend emotionally, but whose company you enjoy. It will also help if you undertake activities that you can do with your whole being.
I just said that. Activities that you so love to do that while you are engaged in them, success or recognition or approval simply do not mean a thing to you. It will help too if you return to nature.
Send the crowds away. Go up into the mountains and silently commune with trees and flowers and animals and birds, with sea and clouds and sky and stars. Remember I told you yesterday what a spiritual exercise it is to gaze at things, to be aware of things around you.
Hopefully the word will drop, the concept will drop and you will see and you will make contact with reality. That is the cure for loneliness. Generally we seek to cure our loneliness through emotional dependence on people and through gregariousness and noise.
That is no cure. Get back to things. Get back to nature.
Go up into the mountains. Then you will know that your heart has brought you into the vast desert of solitude. There is no one there at your side.
Absolutely no one. At first, this will seem unbearable, but it is only because you are unaccustomed to aloneness. But if you manage to stay there for a while, the desert will suddenly blossom into love.
Your heart will burst into song and it will be springtime forever. It really will. The drug is

 out.
You\'re free. Then you will understand, my dears, what freedom is, what love is, what happiness is, what reality is, what truth is, what God is. You will see.
You will know beyond those concepts, beyond your conditioning, beyond your addictions and your attachments. Does that make sense? Let me end this with a lovely story.
There was a guy who invented the art of making fire. So he took these tools with him and went to a tribe up in the north where it is very cold, bitterly cold, and he taught the people how to make fire. The people were interested and he showed them the uses to which you could put fire to.
You could cook, you could keep yourself warm, etc. My, they were so grateful. They learnt the art of making fire, but before they could express their gratitude to the man, he disappeared.
He wasn\'t concerned about getting their recognition or their gratitude. He was concerned about their well-being and he went to another tribe where again he began to show them the value of his invention and people were interested there too, a bit too interested for the peace of mind of their priests who began to notice that this man was drawing the crowds and they were losing their popularity. So they decided to make a way with him, which they did.
They poisoned him. They got rid of him. They stoned him.
They crucified him. Put it any way you like. But they were afraid now that the people might turn against them, so they were very wily.
You know what they did? They had a portrait made of the man and they mounted it upon the main altar in the temple and those instruments for making fire were placed there in front of the portrait and people were taught to revere the portrait and to pay reverence to those instruments of fire, which they dutifully did for centuries. The veneration and the worship went on, but there was no fire.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 045
[Speaker 1] (0:03 - 11:34)
Where\'s the fire? Very religious. Where\'s the fire?
Where\'s the love? Where\'s the drug uprooted from your system? Where\'s the freedom?
This is what spirituality, this is what religion is all about. Tragically, we tend to lose sight of it, don\'t we? This is what Jesus Christ is all about.
But then, we overemphasized the Lord, Lord, didn\'t we? Where\'s the fire? And if worship isn\'t leading to the fire, if adoration isn\'t leading to love, if the liturgy isn\'t leading to clearer perception of reality, if God isn\'t leading to life, of what use is it?
Except to create more divisions, more fanaticism, more antagonisms, etc. And so, awareness. It is not from lack of religion in the ordinary sense of the word that the world is suffering, and you know that.
It is from lack of love, lack of awareness. And love is generated through awareness. No other way.
No other way. When the heart is unobstructed, the result is love. When the mind is unobstructed, the result is wisdom.
Understand the obstruction, and it will drop. Understand the obstacles you are putting to the way of love and freedom and happiness, and they will drop. Turn on the light of awareness, and the darkness will disappear.
Happiness is not something you acquire. Love is not something that you produce. Love is not something that you have.
Love is something that has you. You do not have the wind and the stars and the rain. You don\'t possess these things.
You surrender. And surrender occurs when you are aware of your illusions, when you are aware of your addictions, when you are aware of your desires and fears. And so, I told you this morning.
First, psychological insight. That\'s a great help. Not, as I will tell you at the end of this lecture, not analysis.
Analysis is paralysis. And I\'ll explain that to you. Insight isn\'t necessarily analysis.
One of your great American therapists put it very well. He said it is the aha experience. Merely analyzing me gives me no help.

 It just gives me information. But if you could produce the aha experience, that\'s insight. That is change.
Then, the understanding of your addictions, you need time. Alas, so much time that is given to worship and to singing praises and to singing songs could so fruitfully be employed in self-understanding. Community, my dears, is not produced by joint liturgical celebrations.
You know deep down in your heart, and so do I, that they only serve to paper over differences. Community is created by understanding the blocks that we put to community. By understanding the conflicts that arise from our fears and our desires, then community arises.
We must always beware of making worship yet another distraction from the important business of living. And living doesn\'t mean working in the foreign ministry, as we call it in India, or working in government, or being a big businessman, or doing great acts of charity. That isn\'t living.
Living is to have dropped all the impediments and to live in present moment freshness. Look at the birds of the air. They do not toil and spin.
That is living. Come alive. You\'re dead.
I began by saying people are asleep. People are dead. Dead people running governments, dead people doing big business, dead people educating others.
Come alive. Now, worship must help this, or else it\'s useless. And increasingly, you know this, and so do I.
We\'re losing the youth everywhere. They see this. They\'re not interested.
They\'re not interested in having more fears and more guilt laid on them. They\'re not interested in more sermons and exhortations. But they are interested in, how can I love?
Of course they are. How can I be happy? How can I live?
How can I taste these marvelous things that the mystics tell us? So that\'s the second thing. Understanding.
Third, don\'t identify. Somebody asked me as I was coming up to the hall this afternoon, do you ever feel low? Boy, do I feel low.
I certainly do every now and then. I get my attacks of low feelings. But you know, they don\'t last.
They really don\'t. What do you do? I told you, I gave you a four-point program.

 Put it into action and see the results. It\'s miraculous. Don\'t identify. Here comes the low feeling. All right, we\'re low. Feeling low.
Instead of getting tense about it, instead of getting irritated with yourself about it, understand. I\'m feeling depressed. I\'m feeling disappointed, or whatever.
Second step. The feeling is in me, not in the other guy, not in the person who didn\'t write me that letter, not in, it\'s not in the exterior world, it\'s in me. You know what that understanding alone does for you?
Try it out. It\'s miraculous. When I suddenly realize that it\'s in me, it\'s not outside.
Because you know, as long as I think it\'s outside, I feel justified in holding on to my feeling. Anybody would, no, no, anybody wouldn\'t feel this way. Only idiotic people feel this way.
Only sleeping people do. Third, don\'t identify with the feeling. I is not that feeling.
I am not lonely. I am not depressed. I am not disappointed.
Disappointment is there. One watches it. You\'d be amazed how quickly it glides away.
Anything you\'re aware of keeps changing. The clouds keep moving. As you do this, you also get all kinds of lovely insights into why they were coming there in the first place.
Strange but true. I\'m a therapist, you know. You don\'t even need to keep delving into your past anymore.
You\'re able to cope with them right here in the present. Those feelings. Another understanding, so the I and the me, yet another thing that I would recommend, and it is that you would understand that most of our evils arise from violence to ourselves.
Self-dissatisfaction. I\'ve got a lovely, lovely quote for you. A few sentences that I would write in letters of gold that I picked up from this book, Summerhill, written by this guy, Neil.
Listen to this. Uh, I must give you the background. You probably know he was a man who was in education for 40 years.
He developed this kind of maverick school where he took in these boys and girls and he just left them free. That\'s all. You\'re free to do whatever you want.
You want to learn to read and write? Fine. You don\'t want to learn to read and write?
Fine. You can do anything you want with your life, provided you don\'t interfere with the freedom of someone else. Don\'t interfere in someone else\'s freedom.

 Otherwise you\'re free. He says, uh, the worst ones were the ones who came to me from convent schools. These were in the old days, of course, but the convent schools, he said it took them about six months to get over all the anger and resentment that they had repressed.
So they\'d be six months of rebelling, fighting the system. He says the girl who had the record, uh, would take a cycle and for six months would be cycling in town, avoiding class, avoiding school, avoiding everything. Once they got over their rebellion, everybody wanted to learn.
Everybody was protesting. Why don\'t we have class today? Everybody was interested, but they would take what they were interested in.
Now, they\'d be transformed. Amazing. Unbelievable.
Incredible. Transformed. Parents were frightened to send their children to the school in the beginning because they said, how could you bring them up if you don\'t discipline them?
And you got to teach them. You got to guide them. You can\'t leave them free, et cetera, et cetera.
Oh, you must read that book. It was, it created a revolution in my life. Summerhill, A.S. Neill, N.E.I.L. I\'m not sure if it\'s a double L now, but it\'s A.N.E.I.L.L. A.S. Neill. Summerhill. Paperback. You find it everywhere.
Now, what was the secret of his success? He\'d be getting, so to speak, the worst kind of kids. The kids that everybody had despaired of.
And within six months, they were all transformed. Listen to what he says. Extraordinary words.
Holy words. That\'s a holy book. He says, every child

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 046
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 10:48)
Has God in him? Our attempts to mold the child will turn the God into a devil. Our attempts to mold the child will turn the God into a devil.
Children come to my school, little devils, hating the world, destructive, unmanly, lying, thieving, bad-tempered. In six months they are happy, healthy children who do no evil. These are amazing words coming from a man who has this school of his in Britain that is regularly inspected by people coming from the Ministry of Education and by any headmaster or headmistress or anyone who cared to go there.
Amazing. Well, it was his charism. You don\'t do this kind of thing from a blueprint.
You\'ve got to be a special kind of person. He says in some of his lectures to headmasters and headmistresses, he said, come on into Summerhill and you\'ll find that all the fruit trees are laden with fruit. Nobody\'s taking the fruits off the trees.
No desire to attack authority. They\'re well-fed and they don\'t feel any desire to attack authority. There\'s no resentment and anger.
Come to Summerhill and you\'ll never find a handicapped child with a nickname. You know how cruel kids can be when someone stammers? He says you\'ll never find anyone needling a stammerer.
Never. There\'s no violence in those kids. You know why?
No one\'s practicing violence on them. That\'s why. Listen to these words of revelation. Sacred words. There\'s no violence in those kids. Do you know why?
Because no one has practiced violence on them. That\'s why. You know something else?
We have peoples in the world who are like this. No matter what your scholars and priests tell you and your theologians. There are and have been people where there has been no quarrels, no jealousies, no conflicts, no wars, no enmities.
None. They exist in my country. I\'m sad to say they existed till relatively recently.
I\'ve had friends of mine, Jesuits, go out to live and work among people who they assured me are incapable of stealing or lying. They cannot. One sister said to me that when she went to the northeast of India to work among some tribes there, the Mezos, in Meghalaya, up there in the northeast of India, she said, you know, when we first went there 40 years ago, the people would lock up nothing.

 Nothing was ever locked up. Nothing was ever stolen. And they never told lies until the Indian government officials and the missionaries showed up.
She said both. That\'s important to understand. We went there to reform them, to change them, to mold them.
Every child has a God in him. Our attempts to mold the child will turn the God into a devil. Now you try to figure that one out.
Why would this be? You know, there is that, uh, I can\'t resist telling you this. Cameras or no cameras.
Listen to this. There is that lovely Italian film of Fellini, I think, Eight and a Half. Now I haven\'t seen it, but I read a book about it.
And this guy described the scene. In that scene, there\'s a Christian brother who\'s going out for a picnic or an excursion with a group of kids, I guess, eight to ten-year-old kids, boys. And they\'re on the beach and this group of kids moves right on ahead while the brother comes and brings up the rear guard kind of with three or four kids with him.
Now these boys go on ahead and they come across an old woman who\'s a whore. And they say to her, hi. And she says, hi.
And they say, who are you? And she says, I\'m a prostitute. They don\'t know what that is, but they pretend they do.
And then they ask one of the guys who seems a bit more knowing than the others. He says, a prostitute is a woman who does certain things if you pay her. They say, would she do those things if we paid her?
He said, yeah, why not? So they make a little collection, it seems, and they give her the money. And they say, would you do certain things now that we\'ve given you the money?
She says, yeah, sure, kids. What do you want me to do? Now, the only thing that occurs to the kids is, take your clothes off.
So she does. Well, they look at that, never seen it before. Now they want to, they don\'t know what else to do.
They say, would you dance? She said, sure. So they all gather around and they\'re singing and clapping.
And the old whore is, you know, kind of moving her hind and so on. And they\'re enjoying themselves immensely. Now the brother sees that.
He comes staring down the beach. He breaks into the circle. He yells at the woman.

 He gets her to put her clothes on. And the author says, at that minute, the kids have been spoiled. Till then, they were innocent and beautiful.
He spoiled them. I have a rather conservative missionary in India, a Jesuit brother of mine, who, well, not a blood brother, you understand, brother because Jesuit, who came to a workshop of mine, something like this. And I developed this theme over two days.
Oh, he suffered. He came to me at the end of the second day at night. And he said, Tony, I can\'t explain to you how much I\'m suffering.
Here, listening to you. I said, why Stan? He said, you know, you\'re reviving within me a question that I\'ve suppressed for 25 years.
It\'s a horrible question. And I said, what is it? And he said, again and again, I have asked myself, have I not spoiled my people by making them Christian?
He\'s none of your liberals. He isn\'t one of your liberals, by the way. He\'s an orthodox, pious, devout, conservative man.
Have I not spoiled them by making them Christian? They were a happy, loving, simple, guileless people till I got there. You know the story of the American missioners who went to the South Sea Islands with their wives, Protestant missioners.
They were horrified to see these women coming bare-breasted to church. And they insisted with their husbands that the women should be more decently dressed. So then they gave them shirts to wear, to put shirts on, I guess, so they could give their own hang-ups to the natives.
Well, next Sunday, the women showed up with their shirts and two big holes cut out for comfort. For greater comfort, you understand. Ventilation, it\'s like this.
They were all right. It\'s the missioners who were all wrong. They were all right.
You read that book, Papillon? All right. You know, I wouldn\'t have believed a word of what that man was saying if I hadn\'t read studies in certain tribes.
Not all tribes, unfortunately. Lots of tribes are very cruel and very inhuman. But you do run into places.
Saw that movie, The Gods Must Be Crazy? Uh-uh, uh-uh. That\'s what I\'m talking about.
That\'s what I\'m talking about. Something like that. But what about progress, they say to me, to which I reply, progress?
What are you talking about? You\'re talking about jumbo jets and putting people in space and star wars? You call that progress?

 Progress is love progress, idiot. Heart progress, idiot. That\'s what progress is. Did you forget that? Are we more loving? That\'s progress.
Not have we created vehicles of greater speed and precision. That\'s not progress. So there it is.
You know where, oh my goodness, I was reading Neil to you. I\'m so sorry I got carried away. He says in six months they are happy, healthy children who do no evil.
These kids are not tribals. They\'re coming from so-called civilized society whose parents were civilized barbarians. And they\'re the victims of these barbarians and this barbaric society which has imposed all kinds of things on these poor kids.
Well, in six months they are happy, healthy children who do no evil. Now get ready for a shock. And I am no genius, says Neil.
I am merely a man who refuses to guide the steps of children. How about that, huh? How about original sin, huh?
How about the born evil, huh? Every child has a god in him. Our attempts to mold the child will turn the god into a devil.
So I am no genius. I am merely a man who refuses to guide the steps of children. I let them form their own values.
And the values are invariably good and social. Can you believe that? When a kid feels love, which means when a kid feels you\'re on his side, you\'re on her side, she\'s okay.
[Speaker 2] (10:53 - 10:56)
The kid doesn\'t experience any violence anymore.
[Speaker 1] (10:58 - 11:35)
No fear, so no violence. Loving. The kid begins to treat others the way he or she has been treated, understandably.
You\'ve got to read that book. You can make your bible meditations on that. It\'s a holy book.
It really is. Read it. It revolutionized my life.
It revolutionized my dealings with people. And the miracles I began to see, it revolutionized my dealings with me. I began to understand all the

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 047
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 11:35)
self-dissatisfaction that had been ingrained into me. The competition, the comparison, the go on you\'ve got to improve, that\'s not enough, etc, etc, etc. And you mean if they hadn\'t pushed me, I wouldn\'t have been what I am?
Did I need all that pushing? And anyway, who wants to be what I am? I want to be happy, I want to be holy, I want to be loving, I want to be at peace, I want to be free, I want to be human.
All right, and then he adds, the religion that makes people good also makes people bad. But the religion known as freedom makes all people good, for it destroys the conflict that makes people bad. The self-conflict, the religion known as freedom makes them all good, for it destroys that self-conflict that makes them bad.
Do you know where wars come from? They come from self-conflict. We\'re projecting outside of us the conflict that is inside.
Show me an individual in whom there is no inner self-conflict and I\'ll show you an individual in whom there is no violence. There\'ll be effective action, there\'ll be hard action, there is no hatred, there\'s only understanding. When he or she acts, they act as the surgeon acts.
When he or she acts, they act as a loving teacher acts with mentally retarded people or children or whatever. You don\'t blame them, you understand, but you swing into action. But when you swing into action with your own hatred and your own violence, well, you\'ve compounded the error.
You\'re trying to put fire out with more fire. You\'re trying to deal with a flood by adding water to it. So, every child has a God in him.
Our attempts to mold the child will turn the God into a devil. Children come to my school little devils, hating the world, destructive, unmannerly, lying, thieving, bad-tempered. In six months, they are happy, healthy children who do no evil.
And I am no genius. I am merely a man who refuses to guide the steps of children. I let them form their own values, and the values are invariably good and social.
The religion that makes people good makes people bad, but the religion known as freedom makes all people good, for it destroys the inner conflict. I\'ve added the word inner that makes people devils. He has a horrible statement.
He says, the first thing I do when a child comes to Summerhill is destroy its conscience.

 Would you believe that? The first thing I do when a child comes to Summerhill is destroy its conscience.
You know what he\'s talking about? He\'s talking about, at least I assume he\'s talking about it, because I know what he\'s talking about. You don\'t need conscience.
When you get consciousness, you don\'t need conscience. When you have sensitivity, you don\'t need a conscience. You\'re not violent.
You\'re not fearful. Now you think, this must be an unattainable ideal. Well, read that book.
And I have run into an individual here or two, here or there, who suddenly stumbles upon this and knows. So that\'s one more thing you must understand, the root of the evil within you. As you begin to understand this, you stop making demands on yourself.
You stop having expectations of yourself. You stop pushing yourself and you understand. Gee, that would take us 20 days to comment on.
But you\'ve got the kernel. You\'ve got the seed. You can develop it.
There\'s one last thing I have to say, but I\'m going to give you a little break before that. And it is this, you know, connected with change through awareness. The last thing is what I insinuated in that meditation that I read to you, and it is this, nourish yourself on wholesome food, good wholesome food.
And I\'m not talking about physical food. I\'m talking about sunsets, about nature, about a good movie, about a good book, about enjoyable work, about good company. And hopefully you will break your addiction to those other feelings.
Just think what kind of feeling comes upon you when you\'re in touch with nature, or when you\'re absorbed in your work that you love, or when you\'re really conversing with someone whose company you enjoy in openness and intimacy without clinging. What kind of feelings do you have? Compare those feelings with the feelings that come when you win an argument, or you won a race, or you become popular, or everybody\'s applauding you.
A different type of feeling. Those feelings I call worldly feelings. The other feelings I call soul feelings.
Lots of people gain the world and lose their soul. Lots of people live empty soulless lives because they\'re feeding themselves on popularity, on appreciation, on praise, on I\'m okay, you\'re okay, on look at me, attend to me, support me, value me, on being the boss, on having power, on winning the race. You feed yourself on that, you\'re dead.
You\'ve lost your soul. Feed yourself on other more nourishing material. Then you\'ll see

 the transformation.
Given you a whole program for life, haven\'t I? There\'s still one important point I want to make, and I don\'t want that to be left hanging in the air. I want to round the whole thing off.
Now, I told you, you need awareness and you need nourishment. You need good, healthy nourishment. Learn to enjoy the solid food of life.
Good food, that too. Good wine, good water, taste. Lose your mind and come to your senses.
That\'s good, healthy nourishment. The pleasures of the senses and the pleasures of the mind. Good reading, when you enjoy a good book or a real good discussion.
Thinking, marvelous. See, unfortunately, people have gone crazy and they\'re getting more and more addicted because they do not know how to enjoy the lovely things of life. So they\'re going in for greater and greater artificial stimulants.
Some years ago, President Carter, during the oil crisis, made an appeal to Americans everywhere to go in for austerity. I thought to myself, he shouldn\'t tell them to be austere. He should tell them to really enjoy things.
Most of them have lost their capacity for enjoyment. I really do believe that most people have in affluent countries. They\'ve got to have more and more expensive gadgets.
They can\'t enjoy the simple things of life. And then I walk into all kinds of places where they have all the most marvelous music. You know, get these records at a discount or whatever, and they\'re all stacked.
I never hear anybody listening to them. No time, no time, no time, no time. They\'re guilty.
No time to enjoy life. They\'re overworked. Go, go, go, go, go.
If you really enjoyed life and the simple pleasures of the senses, you would be amazed. You would develop that extraordinary discipline of the animals. An animal will never overeat.
Left in its natural habitat, it will never be overweight. It will never drink or eat anything that is not good for its health. Never.
Never touch it. You\'ll never find an animal smoking. It always exercises as much as it needs.
Look at your cat after it\'s had its little breakfast. Look how it relaxes and see how it

 springs into action. Look at the suppleness of its limbs and the aliveness of its body.
We\'ve lost that. We got lost in our minds and our ideas and our ideals and so on. And it\'s always go, go, go.
And we\'ve got an inner self-conflict which the animals don\'t have. And we\'re always condemning ourselves and making ourselves guilty. You know what I\'m talking about?
Because I could have said of myself what one Jesuit friend said to me some years ago. Take that plate of sweets away because in front of a plate of sweets or chocolates, I lose my freedom. He said, and that was true of me too.
I lost my freedom in front of all kinds of things. No more, no more. I\'m satisfied with very little and I enjoy it intensely.
When you\'ve enjoyed it intensely, you need very little. But you\'ve lost your capacity for enjoyment. You\'re never there.
It\'s like people who are busy planning their vacation and they spend months planning it. They get to the spot and then they\'re all anxious about their reservations for flying back. But they\'re taking pictures all right.
And later they\'ll show you pictures in an album of places that they never saw, but that they photographed. That\'s a symbol of modern life. So I cannot insist enough on this kind of asceticism.
Slow down and taste and smell and hear and let your senses come alive. You want a royal road to mysticism? Sit down quietly and listen to all the sounds around you.
So that as far as possible, no sound is excluded. You do not necessarily focus on the sound. You do not necessarily focus on the sound.
You do not

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 048
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 11:35)
Any sound but you hear them all. Oh, you will see the miracles that happen to you if you are able to do this when your senses come unclogged. So that is extremely important for the process of change that with awareness as I\'ve explained to you all of today.
Before the end of the session, I do want to give you a taste of the difference between analysis and awareness or information on the one hand and insight on the other. Information is not insight. Analysis is not awareness.
Knowledge is not awareness. Suppose I walked in here and there was a snake crawling up my arm and I say to you, do you see the snake crawling up my arm? I\'ve just checked in an encyclopedia, you know, the Encyclopedia Britannica before coming into the session and I find that this snake is known as a Russell\'s viper.
If it bit me, I would die inside of half a minute. Would you kindly suggest ways and means by which I could get rid of this creature that\'s crawling up my arm? Who talks like this?
I got the information but I got no awareness. I\'m destroying myself through alcohol. Would you kindly suggest ways and means I could get rid of this?
This guy got no awareness. He knows he\'s destroying himself but he\'s not aware of it. If he were aware of it, it would drop that minute.
If I were aware of what this thing was, I wouldn\'t brush it off my arm. It would get brushed off through me. That\'s what I\'m talking about.
That\'s the change I\'m talking about. You don\'t change yourself. It\'s not me changing me.
Change takes place through you in you. That\'s about the most adequate way I can express it. You see change take place in you through you in your awareness.
It happens. You don\'t do it. When you\'re doing it, bad sign.
Won\'t last. And if it does, God have mercy on the people you\'re living with because you\'re going to be rigid. These people who are converted on the basis of self-hatred and self-dissatisfaction, boy they\'re impossible to live with.
Somebody said, you want to be a martyr? Marry a saint. So God have mercy on all of us if the change lasts because you\'re so rigid on yourself, you\'re going to be rigid on everyone else.
But in awareness, you keep your softness, your suppleness, your gentleness, your

 openness, your flexibility, and you don\'t push. Change occurs. Remember an alcoholic priest telling us in Chicago when I was studying my psychology there, he said, you know, I had all the information and I knew that the alcohol was killing me.
And believe me, nothing changes an alcoholic, not the love of his wife or the love of his kids. And he does love them, but it doesn\'t change him. But he said, I discovered one thing that changed me.
I was lying in a gutter one day. There was a slight drizzle. I was in the bad books of the archbishop again.
We had been friends before. Not too friendly now anymore. But all of that did not affect me.
But he said, in that moment, I opened my eyes and I saw that this was killing me. But I saw it. I\'ve never had the desire to touch a drop after that.
He said, as a matter of fact, I\'ve even drunk a bit after that, but never more than I needed or never more, never enough to damage me. I couldn\'t do it. I just cannot do it.
I\'ve seen. I\'ve been aware. That\'s what I\'m talking about.
Awareness. Not information. Awareness.
A friend of mine who was given to excessive smoking said, you know, he had all kinds of little jokes. He\'d say, oh, come on, they tell us that tobacco kills people. Look at the ancient Egyptians.
They\'re all dead and none of them smoked. They\'re all dead. So that kind of thing.
Well, one day he was having trouble with his lungs. He went to our cancer research institute in Bombay, which is pretty well equipped. He went there and the doctor said, father, you\'ve got two patches on your lungs.
It could be cancer. You\'ll have to come back next month. You know, he never touched a cigarette after that.
He knew it could kill him before. Now he was aware that it could kill him. That\'s the difference.
The founder of my religious order, Saint Ignatius, has a nice expression for that. He says, he calls it tasting and feeling the truth, not knowing it, but tasting and feeling it, getting a feel for it. Ah, when you get a feel for it, you change.
When you know it in your head, you don\'t. Listen to this for instance. Just give you a couple of examples more and then we\'ll end.

 I\'ve often said to people, the way to really live, but to really live, is to die. Or, the passport for live to living is to imagine that you\'re in your grave. Can you imagine that?
You\'re lying in your coffin. Any posture you like, nice. In India, they put that.
In India, we put them cross-legged. What do you know? You know, when they\'re there, oh yes, yes, and they\'re sometimes carried that way to the burning ground.
Sometimes they\'re lying flat and so on. All right, so imagine you\'re lying flat and your hands are there and one over the other and you\'re dead. Look at your problem from that viewpoint now.
Come on, look at it. It changes everything, doesn\'t it? Sure does.
Or, if someone says, you know, it really bothers me that after a hundred million years, no one except a handful will probably remember me, says this guy. What do they think he is after a hundred million years? But anyway, now you\'re in the coffin.
What a lovely, lovely meditation. Do it every day if you have the time. You\'ll come alive.
It\'s unbelievable. You know, I\'ve got a meditation about that in that book of mine, Wellsprings, where you see the body decomposing, then you\'ve got bones, then you\'ve got dust. And you know, every time I talk about this, I have people say, what\'s so disgusting about it?
This is reality, for heaven\'s sake. See, I told you, you don\'t want to see reality. Who conditioned you?
You don\'t want to think of death. You people don\'t live, most of you, you don\'t live. You\'re just keeping the body alive.
That\'s not life. You\'re not living until you don\'t, it doesn\'t matter a tinker\'s damn whether you live or you die. Now you live.
Only when you\'re ready to lose your life, you live it. When you\'re protecting your life, you\'re dead. You\'re sitting up there in an attic and I say to you, come on out.
You say, no, no, no, no, no. You know, I read about people going down the stairs and they slip and they break their necks. That\'s too dangerous.
And I can\'t get you to cross the street because, say, do you know how many people get run over when they\'re crossing the street? And if I can\'t get you to cross the street, how could I get you to cross continents? And if I can\'t get you to peep out of your little narrow beliefs and convictions and take a look at another world, my, I mean, you\'re dead.
You\'re completely dead. Life has passed you by. You sat in your little prison.

 You\'re scared. You\'re frightened. You\'re frightened you\'ll lose your God.
You\'ll lose your religion. You\'ll lose your friends. You\'ll lose your health.
You lose all kinds of things. Life is for the gambler. It really is.
That\'s what Jesus was saying. You\'re ready to risk it. And you know when you\'re ready to risk it?
When you found it. When you know that this thing that people call life is not really life. You found something else.
When you have seen something else, and it doesn\'t matter whether you live or die. Everywhere I go, it seems to matter so much to me. To keep people in a state, in a vegetable state.
You know, it\'s like when the body perishes, life disappears. So people frequently mistake keeping the body alive with living. It\'s not the same as living.
Now, love the thought of death. Love it. Go back to it again and again.
Think of the loveliness of that corpse, of that skeleton, of those bones crumbling, till you\'ve got a handful of dust. And from there now, look at your life. What a relief!
What a relief! Most of you probably don\'t even know what I\'m talking about. You\'re too frightened to think of it.
Probably. But it\'s such a relief, you know, when you can look back on life from that perspective. What about all those mighty problems?
Or visit a graveyard. It\'s an enormously purifying and beautiful experience. You walk there.
Why are you so frightened of reality? And you look at this man and say, gee, he lived so many years ago. Two centuries ago.
He must have had all the problems that I have. He must have had lots of sleepless nights. Who was stupidity like me?
How crazy! We live for such a short time. And then, as that Italian poet says, we live in a flash of light.
An evening comes and it is night forever. It\'s only a flash and we waste it. We waste it with our anxieties and our worries and our concerns and our burdens.
Now, if you make that meditation, you may just end up with information or you may end up with awareness. And in that moment of awareness, you\'re new. At least as long as it

 lasts.
Then you\'ll know the difference between information and awareness. Am I talking sense? All right, you\'re getting it.
You\'re on. Very good. Or listen to this.

 Anthony DeMello Awareness Part 049
[Speaker 1] (0:00 - 3:13)
Just 10 days ago in India, an astronomer was giving me some of the most fundamental things in astronomy. It\'s mind-boggling. You know, I did not know, till he told me, that when you see the sun, you\'re seeing it where it was eight and a half minutes ago, not where it is now.
Because it takes the ray of the sun eight and a half minutes to get to us. So you\'re not seeing it where it is, it\'s somewhere else. You\'re seeing it where it was eight and a half minutes ago.
And stars, the ray of light comes from the sun in eight and a half minutes. Stars have been sending light to us for hundreds of thousands of years. So when we\'re looking at them, they may not even be there when we\'re looking at them.
Somewhere else. We\'re getting the light now. Now, he said, imagine a galaxy, a whole universe, and this earth of ours, lost towards the tail end of the galaxy, the Milky Way.
It\'s not even in the center, somewhere at the tail end. Every one of those stars is a sun. Some suns are so big that you could put the sun and the earth and the distance between them in one of them.
They\'ve got planets, possibly, but we don\'t know, because the planets don\'t send light. Possibly there\'s life on those planets. We have no means of knowing, because there\'s no light coming from them.
The planets are in darkness. Well, after discovering all of this about fifty years ago, they found there was yet another universe, another galaxy. You know how many universes they calculate there are, or how many galaxies they calculate there are today?
A sober estimate says one hundred million galaxies. And the universe as we know it is expanding at the rate of the diameter, is that the word I want? Yes.
Not the radius, the diameter. It\'s expanding at the rate of two million miles a second. Imagine a bubble that you\'re blowing and the universe is expanding at the rate of two million miles a second.
You know, I was having dinner with this guy and it was fascinating listening to all of this. And I come out of that restaurant and move into the street and look up there and I have a different feel, a different perspective. That\'s awareness.
You could pick this up as cold facts, and that\'s information, or you suddenly get another perspective on life. What are we? What\'s this universe?

 What\'s human life? Now when you get that feel, that\'s what I\'m talking about when I talk of awareness. Now as you begin to practice some of the exercises I\'ve been giving you, you will get this feel in many things.
Then you will know. Then you will know.
[Speaker 2] (3:16 - 3:35)
This is the end of the twelfth tape. All rights to this recording are reserved by the producer. This tape is produced and distributed exclusively by the We and God Spirituality Center, 3601 Lindell Boulevard, St. Louis, Missouri 63108.

This is a program, a series of programs on a way to God for today. And so I will be talking to you about meditation, about prayer, and about things that are intimately connected with prayer, things like love, joy, peace, life, freedom, silence. And I\'ve chosen to begin with silence. And I\'ll tell you why. Because any way to God has to be a way through silence.
If you ever come to union with God, you must pass through silence. What is this silence? Let me explain it to you by means of a simple tale that we have in the east. There is this great king who goes to visit a spiritual master, And he says to the master, I\'m a busy man. Could you tell me how I could be united with God but give it to me in one sentence?
And the master says to him, I\'ll give it to you in one word. What is that word?\' says the king. And the master says, \'Silence.\' and how would I get silence?\' says the king. \'Meditation,\' says the master. Meditation incidentally in the east, the Sanskrit word \'dyan\' that means not thinking about but going beyond thinking.
So the master says, \'meditation\'. And the king says, and what is meditation? To which the master replies, silence. How will I find God? Silence.
And what is how do I get silence? Meditation. And what is meditation? Silence. Well, I imagine while I was telling this tale that you got the secret.
Silence means going beyond words and thoughts. What\'s wrong with words and thoughts? You know what\'s wrong with them? They\'re very wonderful. But God is nothing like what we say he is, and he is nothing like what we imagine or think he is.
That is what is wrong with words and thoughts. And most people will not accept this. They cling to their images of God, and that is the biggest obstacle to their getting to silence. Would you like to experience this silence that I\'m talking about? Well, you\'ll have to do 3 things, which I\'m going to recommend in this program.
The first is understanding. Understanding what? Understanding that God isn\'t anything like the idea that you have of God. You know, in the country I come from, India, we\'ve got plenty of roses. But let\'s suppose that I had never smelled a rose in my life and I say to you, what is the smell, the fragrance of a rose?
Could you describe that? Go on. Describe it. You see? If you cannot describe a simple thing like the fragrance of a rose, how could anybody describe the experience of God?
Whatever words he uses, they\'re quite inadequate. God is totally beyond that. So now you have it. That\'s what is wrong with the words. There is this great mystic who wrote The Cloud of Unknowing, a great Christian book.

And he says, do you want to know God? There\'s only one way of knowing him. You know him through non knowing. You have to get out of your mind and your thinking. Then you may grasp him with the heart.
And Saint Thomas Aquinas, that great Christian theologian says about God, only this can be said with certainty, that we do not know what he is. You know, that is what the church tells us in very solemn language in the 2nd Lateran Council. She says, any image that we have of God is more unlike him than like him. Now I know what some of you are going to say to me. You\'re going to say, if that is true, what about scripture?
Well, scripture doesn\'t give us a picture of God, doesn\'t give us a description of God, it gives us a direction because no words can give us a picture of God. Let me explain that. You know, in my country, India, let\'s suppose I\'m walking towards Bombay, and then I come to the signpost that says Bombay. And then I say, well, what do you know? Here it is, Bombay.
And I look at it and go back. And people say to me, did you get to Bombay? I say, oh, yes. I got to Bombay. What is it like?
You know, it\'s like, well, it\'s like a board, see, painted yellow, and there are words on it. The one looks like a bee, one looks do you see that? I missed the point because that signpost isn\'t Bombay. In fact, it isn\'t like Bombay at all. It isn\'t a picture of Bombay.
It\'s a pointer. That is what scripture is, a pointer. In the east, we have a saying, when the wise man points to the moon, all that the fool sees is the finger. Imagine that I am pointing to the moon and I say moon and you come running up and say, oh, is this the moon? And you\'re looking at the finger.
This is the danger and the tragedy of words. Words are beautiful. Father, what a lovely word to indicate God. But the church herself teaches us that is a mystery. God is a mystery.
And if you take that word father too literally, you will get into trouble because people will be asking you, what kind of a father is this that he allows so much suffering? See, a mystery, unknowable, unintelligible beyond the mind. One more way of showing you the same thing, but I think you\'ll find it profitable. Imagine that there is a man born blind and he says to me, what is this color green that everybody is talking about? How would you describe that to him?
Impossible. And then he says, listen to his questions, he says, is it hot or is it cold? Is it long or is it short? Is it rough or is it smooth? It is none of these things, because the poor man is asking the questions from his limited experience.
But let\'s suppose I were to try. I\'d say, you know, that color green, I\'ll tell you what it\'s like. It\'s like soft music. And one day, the man recovers his sight. And I say to him, well, did you see the color green?

He says, no. You know why? Because he\'s looking for soft music. He got stuck to that idea of green being soft music. So when he was looking at green, the color green, he failed to recognize it.
That is another story we have in the east of this little fish in the ocean. Somebody tells the fish, what a mighty thing the ocean is. Great, marvelous. And so this little fish is swimming everywhere in search of the ocean, in the ocean. And all he finds is water.
See, he failed to recognize. He got stuck to that word ocean. Now can it be that that is happening to us? Can it be that God is staring us in the face, but because we are clinging to some ideas, we fail to recognize him? That would be a tragedy, wouldn\'t it?
So then we come to the second thing. I told you the first thing if you want to attain to silence and you want to get to God is understanding of readiness to realize that your ideas of God are all inadequate. And lots of people are not ready to realize that. And that\'s the big obstacle to prayer and to meditation in their case. The second thing you need to do, if you want to get silence, It is Now get ready because some of you are going to think that this is absurd.
It\'s almost incredible. But all you need to do is look, listen, hear, see. That\'s all. That\'s all. Let me explain that.
You know, in the east, we say God created the world. God dances the world. Can you think of a dancer and his dance? They are one thing. They are not the same thing, but they are not 2.
There\'s a great English theologian who put it in as lovely and as profound a way. He said, God is in creation the way the voice of a singer is in a song. Let\'s suppose I were to sing a song. Let\'s suppose I were to say, You\'ve got my voice. You\'ve got the song.
So intimately connected, though they\'re not the same thing. Now listen to this. Isn\'t it strange that we would be listening to the song and we don\'t hear the voice? That we\'re looking at the dance and we don\'t see the dancer? Isn\'t it strange that we should hear the song and not hear the voice?
That we can see the dance and we do not recognize the dancer. Now you might say to me, well, does it mean that if we just look, we will be given the grace of seeing and of recognizing? No. You may be given the grace of seeing and recognizing because this calls for a special way of seeing. You remember that lovely book, The Little Prince?
The fox says something to the prince there that is marvellously put. He says, It is only with the heart that one sees rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye. So what you need is heart hearing, heart seeing. There is an admirable Japanese tale that brings this out very well.
This disciple goes to his master and he says, you are hiding the final secret of contemplation from me. And the master says, no, I\'m not. And the disciple says, oh, yes, you are. Well, one day, they happened to be

walking along the mountainside and they heard a bird sing. And the master said to the disciple, Did you hear that bird sing?
And the disciple said, yes. And the master said, well, now you know that I haven\'t hidden anything from you. And the disciple said, Yes. You know what had happened? He had attained heart hearing, heart listening.
This is a gift that may be given to us if we would look. Another way of putting the same thing, you know, I keep giving you these various comparisons because some people will be helped by some and others by others. Imagine that I am looking at the sunset And a peasant comes to me and says, what are you looking at? You seem all enraptured. And I say, I\'m enraptured by the beauty.
And the poor man comes every day at evening to look for beauty. I mean, where where is this beauty? He says, well, he can see the sun, he can see the clouds, he can see the trees, but beauty! He doesn\'t realize that beauty isn\'t a thing. Beauty is a way of looking at things.
See? Look at creation. Hopefully, someday, heart looking will be given to you. And when you are looking at creation, don\'t look for anything sensational now. You know, you may have heard of the God experience and you are nothing sensational.
Just look. Just observe. And don\'t look at ideas. Look at creation. And hopefully, it will be given to you because you will become quiet as you look and silence will overtake you and then you may see.
That is what is brought out so beautifully in the gospel according to John, where we are told in the first chapter, all things were created in him and through him. And then we have that lovely sentence which says, he was in the world, for the world was created by him, but the world did not recognize him. If you would look, maybe you will recognize. Look at the dance. Hopefully, you will spot the dancer.
So those are 2 things I gave you now as a help to attain silence. Understanding and looking, hearing. There is a final thing that I\'d like to recommend as a help to attaining silence and that is the scriptures. The scripture is par excellence, the finger pointing to the moon. So we use the words of scripture to go beyond the words and to attain silence.
How would you do that? You take a passage from the scriptures. I\'m going to give you one of my favorites, John 7. You have it right here and you
begin to read,
Jesus stood up
and drink. Now
that sentence.
on the last day and the greatest day of the festival, and cried aloud, anyone who is thirsty should come to me let\'s suppose as you\'re reading that, you\'re gripped by
then? You recite that sentence in your heart and you stop
What do you do
the reading. Anyone who is thirsty should come to me and drink. Anyone who is thirsty should come to me and drink. Something like a mantra.
You keep saying it again and again. Until your heart is satisfied. Until your heart is saturated. You don\'t think explicitly on the meaning of

those words now because your heart knows the meaning. And when you have come to that point of satisfaction, then you react to the words.
How would you react? Well, some people may react this way. They may say, anyone do you really mean that, Lord? Anyone? Saved?
Sinner? Well, here I come. Give me to drink. Or someone else may react by saying, I don\'t believe a word of this. What is this drink that you talk about?
I have come to you so often in the past and you have given me nothing. That\'s alright. Here is someone who is frustrated, who is angry, and it\'s perfectly alright to talk to the Lord like that very good prayer because you\'re honestly telling him what you have in your heart. Yet another person might say, I know exactly what you are talking about, Lord, because I have come to you in the past and you have given me to drink. Well, here I come again.
So that is the way you react. Now, it is perfectly possible that a time will come when you will tire of reacting in words, when there will be sentiments welling up in your heart that will be so deep and so rich that no words will be able to express them, And all that you will be able to do will be to stay there helplessly in silence, responding to those words and to the Lord who said those words beyond any words that you could use. And you keep to that silence as long as you are not distracted. When you are becoming distracted again, then pick up the book and continue to read until you alight upon another sentence. And so you see, here is a way of using the words of the scripture to go beyond the words into silence.
It is read, recite and react. There\'s another way you can use the scriptures and it is this: you get into silence first, you know, I suggested, looking and listening. In future programs, I will suggest other things like being aware of your breathing, being aware of the sensations of your body that will bring you into silence. And when you get into this deep stillness, you recall a sentence of scripture or get someone to read a sentence of scripture to you. And you know what will happen?
Those words of scripture will be sort of etched in your heart. They will have such a powerful meaning for you and they will deepen your silence because they will have a meaning which is quite beyond the mind. Won\'t those words that somebody reads disturb your silence? Oh, no. It\'s like, you know, the quiet and the peace of the evening.
And then you hear the temple bell or you heard that hear the church bell ringing. And you know, that sound deepens your silence. So that\'s what\'s likely to happen to you if you get into silence and then have a sentence of scripture read to you or you read it yourself or you recall it. Let me give you a variation of what I was saying when I first began to talk about scripture a few minutes ago. You can do this right after this program.
You don\'t even have to open your bibles for it. Take some of those lovely, lovely sentences that Jesus says in the New Testament. How

beautiful they are. Come, follow me. Everything is possible to someone who believes.
Do you believe that I can do this? Or that other sentence, Peace. Don\'t be afraid. It is I. Or that other sentence, Do you love me?
Now let\'s suppose you were to choose that sentence, Do you love me? Imagine that Jesus Christ is standing right here in front of you and he addresses those words to you. Now you must resist the temptation to react. Don\'t say anything. Don\'t respond.
Let the words reverberate within your heart. Let them resound within your being. And when you cannot contain it anymore, then react. Then give him your response. You know what\'s likely to happen here?
You are likely to get into silence long before the response. A very simple and a very effective way of getting into silence. So you may want to try this at the end of the program. Let me summarize for you what I have said to you in this program. I have given you 3 royal ways to silence, 3 exercises.
The first, to understand that God is nothing at all like what we think he is. The second, to look, to hear. Now mind you, I don\'t want you to think that by your looking, you will create that silence. You cannot because the silence I\'m talking about is divine. It is a gift.
You know, it is something like, let\'s say, someone who cannot go to sleep. He suffers from insomnia. You cannot create sleep, but you can do something. You could lie down or whatever in the hope that sleep will be given to you. So the second exercise, looking.
And the third, scripture, using the word of God to get into silence. At the end of this program, I invite you to stay on here and to try that simple exercise that I gave you, to imagine that Jesus is standing in front of you, and he addresses to you one of those lovely words of the of the gospels, and you react, hold in your reaction in the beginning. And then when you can hold it in no more, you speak to him. What I want to do now is tell you a story which will bring out the whole spirituality of this looking and this hearing that I spoke of. Because, you know, I hold that a story is the shortest distance between a human being and truth.
So this is the story. There was a temple built on an island about 2 miles away from the mainland. That\'s where the island stood. And in that temple, there were a 1,000 silver bells, large bells, small bells, bells made by the best craftsmen in the world. And every time the wind blew or the storm raged, the bells would peel out.
And it was said that anyone who heard those bells would be enraptured and would be taken into a deep experience of God. Well, as the centuries passed, the island sank into the sea, and with the island, the temple and the bells. But the tradition persisted that those bells now rang out continuously and if anyone had the gift of hearing them, that person would still be transported into God. Well, a young man was inspired by this legend and he undertook a journey of 100 of miles till he came to

the spot opposite to which it was said that the temple had stood centuries ago. He sat under a tree, a large coconut tree, and he strain to hear the sound of those bells.
But no matter what he did, all he could hear was the roar of the
they splashed against the shore, as they dashed against a nearby
And that irritated him because he tried his level best to push that sound out so that he would get into silence and hear the sound of those bells. Well, to no effect. He tried for a week and for 4 weeks and for 8 weeks and then it became 3 months. Occasionally, when he became discouraged, he would hear the village elders at night talk about the tradition and about the people who had been given this grace and his heart would glow within him.
But he knew that a glowing heart was no substitute for hearing those bells. Well, after he had tried it out for 6 or 8 months, he decided to give it up. Maybe the legend wasn\'t true or maybe the grace was not meant for him. He said goodbye to the people he was living with, and then he went to the shore to say goodbye to that favorite coconut tree of his and the sky and the sea. And as he sat there, he began to listen to the sound of the waves.
Strange. It wasn\'t a jarring sound. He discovered for the first time that it was a soothing sound. And it relaxed him and he became silent. And as the silence went deeper and deeper, something happened.
He heard the tinkle of a little bell and he jumped up and thought, I must be producing this. I must be suggesting this to myself. Once again, he began to listen to the sound of the sea and relaxed and became silent. And the silence became deeper. And he heard it again, the tinkle of a little bell.
And before he could jump up this time, it was followed by another and another and another and another. And soon, he was hearing the glorious symphony of a 1,000 temple bells peeling out in unison. And he was transported out of himself and was given the grace of being united with God. The moral of the story is: If you want to hear the sound of the bells, listen to the sound of the sea. If you want to recognize the dancer, look at the dance.
If you want to hear the voice of the singer, listen to the song. Look. Listen. Hopefully, someday it will be given to you to see and recognize in silence. In the last program, I talked to you about silence.
Today, I want to talk to you about peace. Let me begin with a story. It is a story of 2 monks who had lived together for 40 years and had never quarreled even once. So one of them said to the other, don\'t you think it\'s high time we quarreled at least once? And the second monk said, alright.
Let\'s begin. What would we quarrel about? And the first monk said, how about this loaf of bread? And the second said, okay. Let\'s quarrel about the loaf of bread.
began to
waves as
cliff.

How do we do it? The first monk says, well, this bread is mine, belongs to me. And the poor second monk looked at him helplessly and he said, okay. Take it. The moral of that story is that peace is not necessarily destroyed by fighting and quarreling.
Do you know what destroys peace? Me. This belongs to me, and I\'m not going to share it with anyone. When someone takes on that attitude, a fear and a selfishness builds up within his heart, and the heart becomes hardened, and that is the great enemy of peace, a selfish, hardened heart. Imagine a nation where a group of people owns a great deal of land or money or whatever, and they say, we\'re not going to share this with the needy or with anyone.
Imagine that in the United Nations, every nation took this attitude. We\'re only interested in our own good, and we couldn\'t care less for others. How could there be peace in a situation like this, where there are hardened hearts, hardened nations? But let\'s not talk about nations. Let\'s talk about you and me.
Look into your own heart. Can you say, oh, there\'s a certain amount of quarreling and fighting in my life, but there is no rancor, no bitterness, no hatred. Can you say, oh, there is a fair amount of pain and suffering in my life, but there is no inner turmoil and conflict. There is a great deal of activity and action in my life, but there\'s no nervous strain and tension. Can you say that?
If you can, you are a lovely oasis of peace in the vast desert of this world and the whole purpose of prayer is to spread this oasis everywhere. How would we do that? Well, let\'s not talk about it. Let\'s do it. Let\'s do it right now.
Close your eyes, and I am going to do the same so that we can, together, you and I, do a simple spiritual exercise that won\'t last more than a minute or 2. So close your eyes and get in touch with your body. Become aware of the feel of your clothes on your shoulders, The touch of your clothes on your back. Your hands get the feel of your hands as they rest on something or touch each other. Get the feel of your thighs pressing against the chair.
Your feet touching your shoes or touching the floor. Once again, your shoulders, your back, your hands, your thighs, your feet. Again, shoulders, back, hand, thigh, feet. Now gently open your eye, and we shall end the exercise. Now I really wish I could be out there with you and get your reactions.
What happened to you when you did this exercise that I proposed? Did you feel relaxed? Did you feel tense? Most people feel relaxed. A very few feel tense.
Now if you are one of those who feels tense, what I suggest is that you get in touch with your tension. What part of your body do you feel the tension in? And become as aware as possible of the tension, and you will gradually become relaxed again. In fact, if we were to do this exercise

for 5 or 10 minutes, you know, many of you out there would begin to nod and doze. That\'s how relaxed you would become.
Now some of you will say, this relaxation exercise, does this bring the the peace that you were talking about? Well, this isn\'t really a relaxation exercise, you know, it\'s an awareness exercise. Alright, you\'ll say, but does it bring peace? Yes. It brings peace, even though you may find it hard to believe.
You know what is likely to happen to you when you do this exercise? You\'re likely to come into yourself, and you\'re likely to feel all kinds of things, experience things, see things that would surprise you very greatly. You know, there\'s a lovely Indian story about God. He was tired of people. You know, they were always pestering him and asking him for things.
So he said, I want to get away for a while and hide. So he collected all of his counselors and he said, now, where could I hide? What would be the best place for me to hide? And some of them said, hide on the top of the highest mountain on Earth. And others said, oh, no.
Hide in the depths of the ocean. They\'ll never find you there. And others said, the best place to hide would be on the far side of the moon. How would they ever find you there? And then God turned to his most trusted angel and he said, where would you advise me to hide?
And the angel smiled and said, hide in the human heart. That\'s the one place they will never think of searching for you in. A fanciful tale, isn\'t it? But it contains a deep truth. You know this simple exercise that I have proposed?
It brings you to your heart. It brings you home. That\'s what it means to come back to your heart. You come home to yourself. In a very simple way, all that you\'re doing is you\'re getting in touch with your body, but you\'re getting in touch with yourself, and that is important.
And as I told you, in time, you will discover all kinds of mysterious things, which will bring peace, and your heart will become soft, and the fears will disappear, and the conflicts will go. But for that, you need time. You know, there is no formula for instant peace. You have to find the time for it. Alright.
If you tell me you don\'t have the time, I\'ll compromise with you. And I\'d recommend that you do this during the day. Let\'s suppose you\'re driving your car. Get the feel of the steering wheel. Get the feel of the seat of the car.
Get the feel of your feet touching your shoes. Like, get in touch with your body. Keep your eyes open, of course. But for the rest, get the feel of the movement of your body when you\'re walking. That\'ll quieten you down, and hopefully, you will get some taste of what this exercise can give you that you will be sufficiently motivated to try the real thing, to really sit down and get in touch with the sensations in your body.

You know, the way it is practiced in the east is this. You start from the crown of your head and you attempt to get all the sensations you can, face, neck, chest, etcetera, right down to the tip of your toes. Then you begin again in the crown of your head and go downwards. That\'s how it\'s practiced. Let me tell you some of the effects of this exercise.
So ordinarily, this isn\'t done, you know. Ordinarily in the east, people are told, do it and you will see. Alright. What\'s likely to happen to you if you do this exercise? The first thing is you\'re going to become present.
You\'re going to get into the present. And that is an extraordinary thing,
you know, to really come to the present. Are cannot remember where they\'ve placed things? who\'s always tense and strained and harried? who cannot concentrate, who cannot remember?
you one of those people who
Are you one of those people
Are you one of those people
Well, you need practice in getting into the present, just what I\'m talking about. You know, there was a great guru who was talking to a group of business executives. And he said to them, just as the fish perishes, it suffocates and perishes on dry land. So you will perish if you get entangled in worldly affairs. The fish must get back to the water if it wishes to live.
You must get back to your heart. So these poor business executives said, you mean we\'ve got to give up our business and get back to the monastery? He said, oh, no, no. I didn\'t say get back to the monastery. Hold on to your business and get back to your heart.
You see, getting back to the heart does not mean getting into some kind of mystical, mysterious faculty. No. No. No. It means come home to yourself.
It means get into the present and you will live. There\'s another thing that this exercise will give you, and that is it will help you to slow down. You know, speed is a very wonderful thing. I have nothing against it at all. It\'s a great thing, speed.
But when speed becomes hurry, that\'s a poison. The Japanese have a very interesting saying. They say, the day you stop travelling, you will arrive The way I put it would be the day you stop rushing, you will arrive. You know, that reminds me of a father who was shepherding his children through a museum and he\'s saying to them, come on, hurry up, hurry up because if you stop to look at everything, you\'ll see nothing. See, that\'s a parable of life.
That\'s what all of us are doing. We\'re the whole time trying to save time and we\'re missing out on life. You know, it\'s something like Jesus saying, you gained the world, but you lost your soul. I\'m reminded of a fellow who was driving once with his wife, and he was, you know, he was crazy about speed. And then his wife looks at the map and she says, darling, we\'re on the wrong road.

He says, never mind. We\'re making great time. So there it is, a parable of modern life. This is possibly what so many of us are doing. And you know what this exercise will do for you?
It will slow you down. But you could do something else. You could slow down as a means to getting into this exercise better. How would you do that? Look.
How long does it take you to get to work? 20 minutes? Make it 21. Now some of you are going to think I\'m crazy. Make it 21.
How long does it take you to have breakfast? 10 minutes? Make it 11. Like, give yourself a pat in the back for every few seconds that you would add onto everything you\'re doing. Try it out for only a week, then you won\'t have to believe me any longer.
Slow down. You will come into the present. The third thing this is going to do for you, this exercise, and it is this, let\'s put it this way. You know, there was an Indian businessman who told me he was very afraid to get into meditation. He was very reluctant to get into meditation because he said, you know, my business will suffer.
Incidentally, these exercises that I\'m giving you are for busy people, for active people, for energetic people. I\'m not inculcating any mystical withdrawal, far from it. Alright. So this businessman said to me, I was so afraid to get into meditation. Now when he practiced these exercises that I am recommending to you, well, his business was doing twice as well as before.
Do you know why? Because he was more integrated. He was more centered. And he was doing one thing at a time. That\'s one of the great blessings of prayer, contemplation, mysticism.
You begin to do one thing at a time and you\'re totally there. So it\'s easy to see why his business prospered, why he was so much more effective and efficient. Now before I go on, there\'s an objection that I\'m pretty sure some of you are going to have. You\'re going to say, are these spiritual exercises? Is this meditation?
That\'s right. Spiritual exercise. You know, there are millions of people in the east who only do this and nothing else, and they attain heights of spirituality. That\'s the teaching of Christianity, isn\'t it? That God and spirituality is to be found in life, not by withdrawing from life.
Remember in the previous program, I spoke to you about silence and I told you God is found in life. The same thing here. Is it prayer, you will say? Well, it all depends on how you define prayer. If by prayer you mean talking to God, no.
It isn\'t prayer because you\'re not talking to God while you\'re aware of sensations in your body, while you\'re aware of the movement of your body when you walk. But if by prayer you mean union with God, yes, sir. It is prayer. So you will find prayer and meditation in that simple exercise

that I gave you of being aware of the sensations of your body. There are many other benefits that that exercise will give you.
Spiritual benefits like acceptance, like a sense of perspective, but you find that out for yourself. What I\'m going to do is propose for those of you who would not have the patience or the perseverance to go on with that exercise, 2 simple spiritual exercises. The first is called, I call acceptance, and the second, perspective. How does one do these exercises? Let\'s begin with the exercise on acceptance.
You remember that prayer, Lord, give me the grace to change whatever can be changed, to accept what cannot be changed and the wisdom to know the difference. There are so many things in our life that we cannot change. We\'re powerless. And if we learn to say yes to these things, we will find peace because peace is found in yes. You cannot change the ticking of the clock.
You cannot change the death of a loved one. You cannot change the weather. You cannot change so many of your body\'s limitations and disabilities. Now make an exercise of all of this, the things you cannot change. Stand before each one of them and say yes because in doing that, you are saying yes to the Lord.
You may find it difficult at times, then don\'t force yourself. But if you can find it in your heart to say yes, you are saying yes to God\'s will. And as the great Italian poet Dante says, in his will is our peace. Nearly 95% of the things that upset our peace are things that we cannot change. And if you develop this attitude, you will have peace even in the things that you are fighting to change.
The second spiritual exercise that I suggest now is perspective. What\'s that? Think of the time when you were a child and you clung to something so tenaciously, you did not want to give them up, you thought you would not be able to live without them. Or think of the some of the things that you detested and hated when you were a child or some of the things that you feared. How many of those fears and likes and dislikes persist till today?
What happened to them? They passed away, did they not? Well, the exercise is the following. Make a list of the things that you are possessive of, that you are dependent on, that you don\'t want to let go of. And of each one of these things, say, this too will pass away.
And make a list of the things that you dislike, that you cannot put up with, and of each of those things you say, this too will pass away. And you make a list of your fears for the future, and of each of those fears you say, this too will pass away. Well, I have proposed a number of exercises to you in this program. So I want to summarize everything I have said. The first exercise that I gave you was that great exercise of awareness of body sensations.
You will find wisdom, acceptance, perspective, and so many other spiritual graces in this exercise. But you may want to try out some of the other ones. You may want to try out the exercise of slow down or that

other one, do one thing at a time. In fact, if you practice that exercise, you will be greatly helped if you internalize verbally every action that you are doing, like, now I am picking up my pen. Now I am writing in the book.
Now I put the pen aside. Now I close the book. This will seem strange to you, but you will not be able to judge these exercises until you give them a try. So try it. And then there are those last two exercises I proposed, the one of acceptance and perspective.
In the next program, I will be talking to you about something that is intimately connected with these joy. But I invite you at the end of this program to stay right there and to try out that exercise that I suggested of being aware of the sensations of your body. You will get mighty little in the beginning, perhaps. You may find you are very distracted, but try it and at the end of those 10 minutes, you will notice something of a difference. When Jesus was born, the angel sang of peace And when Jesus died, he made a gift to us of his peace.
My peace I give to you. So peace is a gift. We cannot produce it. We cannot create it. All we do by means of these exercises is dispose our hearts to receive it.
Remember that story in the Bible of that Syrian general who went to the prophet in Israel so that he would be cured of his leprosy? And the prophet said to him, go and bathe in the river Jordan 7 times. And the man was indignant. He said, don\'t we have better rivers in my country that I would have to to to bathe in this river Jordan? I thought that the prophet would come out and lay his hands on me and cure me.
And one of the servants said to the general, master, if the prophet had told you to do something difficult, you would have done it. He\'s asking you to do something so simple and easy. So try this simple and easy exercise. You can hardly believe the effects it will have on you. But when you experience those effects, you won\'t need to believe any longer.
I want to end this program with those lovely words of Saint Paul that could serve as a blessing on you and on me. May the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, guard our hearts and thoughts in Christ Jesus, our Lord. In the last program, I spoke to you on the topic of peace. I want to deal today with something that is very intimately linked with peace, and that is joy. One of the most frequently quoted sentences in Christian literature is that famous sentence of St.
Augustine where he says, Our hearts were created for you, O Lord, and they are restless until they find their rest in you. Every time I hear that sentence of Saint Augustine, I am reminded of another sentence made famous by one of our great religious mystical poets in India, a man called Kabir. He writes a lovely poem that begins with the following sentence. He says, I laughed when they told me that the fish in the water is thirsty. Take a little while to get that image.

The fish in the water, thirsty. How could that be? We human beings surrounded by God and restless. Take a look at creation all around you, everywhere. Trees, birds, grass, animals.
You know something? The whole of creation is shot through with joy. The whole of creation is happy. Oh, I know there is suffering, there is pain, there is growth and decline and aging and death. You find that in the whole of creation.
But no restlessness, no unhappiness, if you really understand what happiness means. Only the human fish is thirsty. Only the human heart is restless. Isn\'t that strange? What I want to explore with you in this program is why are human beings unhappy?
And what can we do to change that happiness into joy? Why are people unhappy? For two reasons mainly: because they have wrong ideas and they have wrong attitudes. Let\'s begin with the ideas. The first wrong idea that people have is that joy means being on a high, having pleasurable sensations, having fun.
It\'s because they have this idea that people go in for intoxicants and stimulants, and then they end up depressed. The thing to be intoxicated on is life. It\'s a quieter kind of intoxication, but it is lasting. So that\'s the first wrong notion we must get rid of, that joy means having a high. No.
No. Not necessarily. The second wrong notion, to think that we can chase after happiness, we can do something to get happiness. Well, I\'m almost contradicting myself here because soon I\'m going to tell you what we can do to attain happiness. But happiness cannot be sought in itself.
Happiness is the offshoot of something else. You know, true happiness is barely an experience, so that when it is deepest, you are hardly aware of it. And that is the reason why it has been said so wisely and so well that happiness is really a memory. It is barely an experience. There\'s the second wrong notion we have to get rid of then, And the third and probably the most important wrong notion about happiness is that happiness is found in externals.
You know, happiness is found in other things, in other people. I change my job, maybe I\'ll be happy. I\'ll change the place I\'m living in, maybe I\'ll be happy. I\'ll marry somebody else, maybe I\'ll be happy. Happiness has nothing to do with externals.
And so people think money, power, respectability, these bring happiness. They don\'t. Poor people can be happy. I remember reading the story of a Nazi prisoner. The poor man was tortured every day.
And then one day, they change his prison cell. You know, he had 4 bare walls. And in his new prison cell, he has a skylight through which he can see a patch of blue during the day and some stars at night. And the man is ecstatic. He writes home thrilled about this great good fortune.

When I read that story, I looked out of my window and I had the whole expanse of nature to gaze at. I was free. I was not a prisoner. I could go wherever I wanted, and I didn\'t have a fraction of the joy of that poor prisoner. I remember reading a novel of a a man, a prisoner, in a Soviet concentration camp in Siberia.
The poor man is awakened at 4 o\'clock in the morning. They give him a chunk of bread, and the man thinks, I better keep some of this bread because I may need it at night. I cannot go to sleep because I\'m hungry, and maybe if I eat it at night, I\'ll sleep. And then at the end of the day, after working all day, he crawls into bed. He covers himself with a blanket that barely keeps him warm, and he\'s thinking.
He\'s saying, It\'s been a good day today. Today I didn\'t have to work where the icy wind blows. And tonight, if I wake up hungry, I\'ve got a piece of bread with me, so I\'ll eat it and I\'ll sleep well. Joy, happiness. Would you believe it?
I met an extraordinary woman once. She was paralyzed from the neck down. Where did she find that joy that she seemed to perpetually have? Everybody would be asking that. One day, she said to me, I have all the loveliest things in life.
I can do all the loveliest things in life. Paralyzed, in hospital, full of joy. So joy is not found in externals. Get rid of that notion, or else you\'ll never find it. There\'s another thing we have to get rid of if we want to find happiness and joy and that is change some of our wrong attitudes.
What are those attitudes that need to be changed? The first attitude, I would say, is the attitude of the sulking child. You\'ve ever seen a child who says, unless you play the game my way, I\'m going home? That attitude. Examine yourself as I\'m talking right now.
Think of something that\'s making you unhappy and see if you can detect this sentence that you\'re saying almost unconsciously to yourself. You\'re saying, unless I get this or that or the other, I refuse to be happy. Unless this or that or the other is given to me or happens, I refuse to be happy. Lots of people are not happy because they\'re putting conditions to their happiness. So find out if that exists in your heart and drop it.
There\'s a nice story of a man who was always pestering God with, all sorts of requests. So god appeared to him one day and said, look. I\'ve had enough. Three requests. No more.
Three petitions. And after I\'ve given you that, I\'m gonna give you nothing else. So make your wishes. And the man was delighted. He said, you mean you will give me any three things I asked for?
And god said, yes, but nothing more. So the man said, you know, I feel a little ashamed to say this, but, I\'d like to get rid of my wife because, she\'s a nag and she\'s always you know, it\'s it\'s unbearable. I I cannot live with her. So if I could get rid of her so god said, alright. Your wish will be granted.

And his wife died. Well, the man felt guilty about the relief he felt in his heart, but he felt happy. He felt relieved. He thought, I\'ll marry someone else who\'s more attractive. When the relatives and his friends came to the funeral, they began to praise this woman who had died.
And the man suddenly came to his senses. He said, my god. Here was this lovely woman, and I hadn\'t even noticed her. I didn\'t appreciate her when she was living. So he felt awful about that.
He went running back to God and he said, bring her back to life. So God said, alright. 2nd wish, granted. Now he had only one wish left. So he thought, what shall I ask for?
And he consulted. And some of his friends said, ask for money. If you have money, you can get anything. And other friends said, what\'s the use of money if you have no health? And others said, what\'s the use of health if you have to die someday?
Ask for immortality. So the poor man didn\'t know what to ask for because others would say, what\'s the use of living forever if you have no one to love you? Ask for love. So he thought and he thought and 1 year went by and 5 years and 10 years and he hadn\'t asked for anything yet. So one day, God appeared to him and said, when are you going to ask for that third wish of yours?
And the poor man said, Lord, I\'m all confused. I don\'t know what to ask for. Could you tell me what to ask for? Could you advise me? And the Lord laughed when he heard that.
He said, Alright. I\'ll tell you what to ask for. Ask to be happy no matter what you get. There is the secret. So that\'s the first attitude to get rid of, the sulking child.
The second attitude, the clinging child. You know, if you cling to your negative emotions, you\'re never going to be happy. Now I don\'t mean you shouldn\'t have what we call negative emotions. You wouldn\'t be human. You would not be human if you didn\'t occasionally feel depressed and if you didn\'t sometimes feel anxious and if you didn\'t grieve at some loss.
You wouldn\'t be human. That\'s alright. You can feel those negative emotions and let them go. You know what the bad thing here is? When you cling to them.
Try this exercise out. It\'s going to be a little difficult but very rewarding. Your heartbreak, your jealousy, your guilt, your resentment, ask yourself, what would happen if I let them go? You know, in the East, we have a thing called a kwan. It\'s one of those deep spiritual exercises.
It\'s a question really that the master puts to the disciple. A question that has no rational answer. For instance, what is the sound of one hand clapping? What was the shape of your face before you were born? That sort of thing.

I\'m gonna give you a koan as an exercise. Ask yourself, what would happen if I dropped this negative emotion that I have, my guilt, my heartbreak, my jealousy, my resentment, etcetera? If you stay with that question, if you stay with that go on, you know what\'s likely to happen? A fear will come up within you. And then continue to ask the question, what will happen?
You may make a great discovery. I\'m not going to say any more about this exercise. I\'m going to go straight on to the next part of this program, namely, how can we attain happiness and joy? And I\'m going to propose 4 simple exercises here, simple means of getting joy. The first one, I\'m not going to tell you.
You guess it from the story that I\'m going to tell you. There\'s the great Japanese Zen master, Ryokan. Now Ryokan lived at the foot of a hill and lived a very simple life. One day, when he was away, a thief came to his house to steal, and he found nothing there. And while the thief was in the house, the master returned and he caught him red handed.
And the master said, you have traveled a great distance to come to meet me. You must not go away empty handed. And so he gave him his blanket and his clothes. He pressed them on the thief and said, here, take this. So the poor, bewildered thief took this and slunk away.
And after he had gone, the master sat at the door of his hut and looked at the gorgeous moonlight, and he thought, poor fellow. I wish I could have given him this gorgeous moon. What kind of an exercise is this story recommending? I\'ll keep you guessing for a while, and I\'ll tell you later. You know, this exercise and the previous one, the Kwan, are excellent for long term results.
You want short term results? You want
want to experience happiness at once?
exercises that I am going to propose.
The first, try saying how lucky I am,
something? It is impossible to be grateful and unhappy. There\'s the story of a man who comes running to his rabbi one day and he says, rabbi, you\'ve got to help me. My house is a hell.
We\'re living in one room, me and my wife and my children and my in laws, and it\'s a hell. There\'s no place there. The rabbi smiled and said, alright. I\'ll help you, but you\'ve got to make a promise to do anything that I tell you. And the man said, I promise.
I really promise. It\'s a solemn promise. And the rabbi said, how many animals do you have? And the man said, well, we\'ve got a cow, we\'ve got a goat, and we\'ve got 6 chickens. The rabbi said, take the animals into the room and come back after a week.
A man was stunned, but he had promised to see. So he went home depressed, and he took the animals in. And the following week, he comes back in tears. He says, rabbi, I\'m going crazy. We\'re all going crazy.
to experience joy immediately? You Try the following. Three other
how grateful I am. Because you know

We\'re on the verge of a nervous breakdown. You\'ve got to do something. What can we do? And the rabbi said, go home and put the animals out. Come back after a week.
The man ran all the way home. And when he came back the following week, his eyes were aglow. He says, rabbi, the house, it\'s wonderful, so clean. It\'s a paradise. Get the point?
I read a lovely sentence once of someone who said, I had no shoes, and I was always complaining that I had no shoes until I met someone who had no feet. Think of that extraordinary woman, Helen Keller. Dumb, blind, deaf, and yet rejoicing in life. If you can find it in your heart to be grateful, you will find the secret of happiness. Try this.
Here\'s the 3rd exercise I\'m proposing I would propose to you. Sometime later, put yourself in the place of that paralyzed woman that I talked to you about before. Remember? Put yourself in her place. You could even lie flat on the floor.
The better to get into that mood. Imagine that you\'re paralyzed and say the following sentence, that lovely sentence that I heard from her lips. I can do all the loveliest things in the world. I have the loveliest things in the world. Find out what those loveliest things are.
You will discover love. You will discover taste and smell and sight and hearing. That you can hear the song of birds and the wind in the trees and the voices of your friends and you can see their faces, you\'ll find them all. Maybe in doing this exercise, you will stumble upon the secret of gratitude. And here\'s one more exercise that you may want to try, a very simple one.
Think of yesterday. Go over all the events that took place yesterday, one after the other. And at each event, be grateful. Say thanks. Remember in the previous program, when I talked to you about peace, I told you, say yes.
So here, say thanks. How lucky I was. How lucky I was that that happened to me. Oh, and you will probably come to some things that were unpleasant and that you didn\'t like. Then stop.
Is there a sulking child there? Is there a clinging child there? There isn\'t? Alright, then think. That thing that happened to me, it has seeds for growth.
It was placed there for my good. Think of that and say thanks and go on. There\'s one last exercise that I would like to propose and this has to do with faith. The previous 2 had to do with gratitude. Remember?
How lucky I am, how grateful I am. This has to do with faith. The faith that everything is given by God and allowed by God for my good. There\'s an extraordinary English woman, Juliana of Norwich, and she writes in one of her books, the showings of divine love, what I consider to be the loveliest sentence I have ever read in my whole life. She says, And all

shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.
She says this in the context of a vision that she had, where she sees God
holding the whole
here is the final
the events of the
say, It was well.
of the universe in his arms, lovingly, tenderly. Now exercise I suggest. I call it the blessing. Think of past, pleasant ones, unpleasant ones. And at each event
It was well. And think of some of the things that you have now and that are happening to you now and say: It is well. It is well. And think of some of those things of the future and say: It will be well. It will be well.
And see what happens to you. See how your faith will be changed into joy. Your faith that everything is in the hands of God and everything, as St. Paul tells us, will work for our good. Let me summarize then everything I\'ve told you in this program.
I told you why we are not happy. We have wrong notions, particularly that wrong notion that joy and happiness is in externals. There\'s an interesting story of this man who comes running to a monk that happens to be passing by his village. And he comes to the monk and says, give it to me. Give me the stone.
Give me the precious stone. And the monk says, what stone are you talking about? And the man says, last night God appeared to me in a dream and he said, a monk will be passing by the village tomorrow at noon. If he gives you a stone that he has in his sack, you will be the richest man in the country. So give me the stone.
And the monk rummaged in his sack and he pulled out a diamond, the largest diamond in the world. It was the size of a man\'s head. And he says, is this the stone you want? I found it in the forest. If you want it, take it.
So the man grabbed the stone and went running all the way home. But he couldn\'t sleep that night. And early next morning, he came to where the monk was sleeping under a tree and he woke him up and he said, Here, take this diamond back. Give me the inner riches that makes it possible for you to give this stone away. That is what we have to discover if we want to find joy.
And I\'ve given you 5 exercises as a help to attain that. The Koan, remember? Ask yourself that question, Why? What would happen to me if I gave up my negative feelings? The second exercise, I didn\'t make it explicit, but it is the same exercise that I suggested in the first and the second program.
Looking, hearing, getting in touch with your body sensations. And you will be overtaken by silence and peace and joy. And then I gave you 3 exercises for short term results. The identification, I call it, namely identify with that paralyzed woman. The exclamation, How lucky I am!

How grateful I am! And the blessing, It was well. It is well. It will be well. In the next program, I will be talking to you about life.
But when this program gets over within a minute or 2, I would suggest that you stay there. If you are listening to this program in a group, some of you may want to lie on the floor and identify with that paralyzed woman. Some of you may want to sit right where you are and close your eyes and do one of the other exercises that I recommended. There\'s just one objection that some of you may have before you get into this exercise. You may think, \'Is this prayer?\' Because, you know, we are not talking to God.
Think what a lovely prayer it is, how it would gladden the heart of God when he sees his children optimistic, grateful, happy. There is no sweeter prayer on earth than a grateful heart. If you ever get that, then the whole of your life will become a prayer, and the whole of creation will become a temple and a church. In the last program, I talked to you about joy. Today, I want to talk to you about life.
There\'s an interesting story about Buddha that he was sitting one day surrounded by all his disciples when an angel appeared to him and said, how long do you want to live? Ask for a 1000000 years, and they will be given to you. And Buddha said unhesitatingly, 80 years. When the angel disappeared, his disappointed disciples complained to Buddha. They said, master, why didn\'t you ask to live for a 1000000 years?
Think of the good you would have done to 100 of generations. And the old man replied with a smile, if I live to be a 1000000 years, people will be more interested in prolonging their lives than in seeking for wisdom. You know what he meant? They would be more interested in surviving than
improving than in improving the is, how few people spend any of the quality of their existence.
I\'m reminded of an actor saying
time ago, says the actor, you know, John, when you come to die, you will die without ever having lived. People, well, seem to be alive. They\'re breathing. They\'re eating. They\'re talking.
They\'re they\'re conversing. They\'re moving around, but they\'re not dead, of course. But are they alive? They\'re neither dead nor alive, really. Now you might say, could I be one of those?
Well, here\'s a checklist for you. What does it mean to be really alive? It means 3 things. It means to be you, to be now, and to be here. Let\'s talk about those three things.
To be alive means to be you. And in the measure that you are you, you are alive. You will say, am I not me? Who would I be if I\'m not me? Well, it\'s quite possible that you may not be you, that you may be a puppet.
Let me explain that. Suppose we had a dog and we inserted an electronic receptor in the brain of that dog, and then we sent that dog off to another country, to China, let\'s say. And then from here, we keep sending
quality of their lives. And how true that their time and their energy in improving
to another in a movie that I saw some

signals to that dog. We say, stand up, and the dog stands up. We say, sit down, and the dog sits down.
We say, lie down, and the dog lies down, and everybody is amazed. What\'s happening to this dog? You know what\'s happening? He is subject to remote control. Now that is a pretty good image of millions of people.
People come to me so often to consult me about their spiritual problems, about their emotional problems, And again and again, I find myself asking myself, to what voices is this person here responding? To what voice of the past? Here\'s a person who\'s depressed. Here\'s another one who\'s anxious. There\'s a third one who\'s prejudiced.
Have you ever heard that saying of Albert Einstein that it is more difficult to disintegrate a prejudice than the atom? Well, here you have these people who are really not themselves at all. They are controlled. Now, what is the result of that? They become puppets.
They have mechanical behavior, mechanical feelings, mechanical attitudes and convictions, not alive feelings, not alive behavior, and they don\'t know it. Because as I told you, they\'re responding to voices, the voices of people from the past, the voices of past experiences. They\'ve had some experiences that affect them and control them. So they are not free and not alive. Well, this is what I consider to be a major obstacle in the spiritual life.
Remember that phrase of Jesus when he says, if you want to be my disciple, you must hate your father and mother? That\'s a strong word, hate, And people are scandalized by it. What does that mean? Surely, Jesus doesn\'t mean that we must hate our real father and mother. Poor things.
We must love them as we love all other human beings. I think that the father and mother that Jesus is talking about is the father and mother we carry around in our heads that control those voices. That is what we must drop. That is what we must give up so that we will give up our mechanical existence. We will stop being puppets.
Because how can you have a spiritual life, I ask you, if you are not alive? How can you be a disciple of Jesus if you are mechanical, if you are a puppet? Alright? So then how do we drop the mechanicalness in our life? I\'m going to give you an exercise that seems so simple that you\'d hardly believe that it works, but it isn\'t an easy one.
And if you persevere in it, you will see the difference. And the exercise is this. You can even try it out as I am talking to you. Think of an event in the recent past, something that happened yesterday, something that happened in the past week, it could even be an unpleasant event. In fact, if it is unpleasant, the better.
And what I want you to do now is observe yourself reacting. How are you reacting emotionally and what kind of convictions and attitudes, of course, you won\'t call them prejudices, but what kind of convictions and attitudes do you have in that event? Just look at that and ask yourself,

what voice am I responding to? Or you could say, is somebody else reacting there for me, someone that I am carrying around from the past? Now this exercise has lasted a few seconds or a minute at the most.
If you really want to get what it brings, then you\'ll have to take more time and observe various events of the day. Look at yourself reacting. Just look. Don\'t judge. Don\'t condemn.
Don\'t approve. Just be a neutral observer and look. You need not even ask that question that I suggested, you know, what am I reacting to or who is reacting in me, what voice am I responding to. You need not even ask that if that distracts you. Just look, and the mechanicalness will drop and the life will be will begin to come in, and you will notice a change.
In the last program, I spoke to you about this paralyzed woman. Remember? Well, I\'m going to talk to you in this program about an extraordinary paralyzed man that I met. He said to me, you know, father, I really began to live after I became paralyzed because for the first time in my life, I had the time to look at myself and to see my life and to see how I was reacting and to see how I was thinking. And as a result, life has become so much deeper and richer and much more, appealing than it has ever been before.
Isn\'t that interesting that a paralyzed man would find life and so many people who would be moving around freely would not find it because they would be paralyzed inside. That is the great block. No time. That\'s what they tell me everywhere. We have no time.
Where are we going to find the time for this? Well, what are you spending your time on? On maintaining this mechanical existence of yours? No. It reminds me of that mugger who says to a man, your money or your life, and the man says, well, you better take my life because I need my money for my old age.
Now if you find that funny, think of this, Think of people saying, well, you better take my life because I need my time to maintain my puppet existence. If it wasn\'t a tragedy, it would really be funny. Well, this is let me summarize then what I have given to you in when I spoke to you about being you. I said, observe your reactions at every event of the day. Observe your convictions.
Question them. Are you open to questioning your convictions? If you\'re not, you\'re prejudiced. You\'re mechanical. I\'m reminded of a brilliant young rabbi who succeeded an equally brilliant father, who was also a rabbi.
His people said to him, rabbi, you are completely unlike your father. And the young man laughed. He said, I\'m exactly like my father. My father imitated no one. I imitate no one.
He was not a carbon copy, neither am I. That\'s what it means to be alive, to be unique, to drop those voices and the remote control, and you will get it through observation. There is a second thing that you need to be

alive, and that is to be now. What does that mean? That means to understand, first of all, something that very few people understand.
Namely, that the past is unreal. That the future is unreal. And to live in the past and to live in the future is to be dead. Oh, I know. There are wonderful things in the past, and we can learn lessons from the past, and the past has influenced and shaped us, etcetera.
Fine. But it\'s not real. And we must plan for the future, and that\'s excellent. In fact, if you hadn\'t planned for the future, in all likelihood, you wouldn\'t be listening to me now. That\'s fine.
But the future isn\'t real. It is a notion in our heads. And as long as you live in the past and in the future, you\'re not now. You\'re not here. Let me explain that by means of a comparison.
Suppose there\'s a family that\'s going on a trip to Switzerland for a 3 day vacation, and they spend months on end planning that vacation. And the moment they get there, they\'re spending most of their time planning their trip back. And you know when they are there, instead of taking in all of that gorgeous scenery, instead of soaking in the atmosphere, they\'re busy taking pictures, which they will show to their friends when they get back, pictures of places where they never were. Well, they were there physically, but they weren\'t really there. They were somewhere else.
Unreal vacation, unreal lives. You know, we live in a future culture, the culture of tomorrow. Tomorrow, I\'ll be happy. Tomorrow, I\'ll live. Like, as soon as I get through high school, I will live.
As soon as I get through college, I live. Then when you\'ve got to college, you say, well, when I get married, I live. And then after you\'re married, you say, well, when the children grow up, I live. And by the time the children have grown up, you don\'t know what it means to live. And in all likelihood, you will die without having ever lived.
You\'re ready for a shock? Listen. Examine your own life. Watch all your thinking and think how often you are in the past and the future. How many minutes of your day are spent in the past or in the future?
You might get a shock because you might realize how little you are in the present, how little alive you are. Think of it this way. You\'re peeling this orange so that you will eat it. Now if your mind is all fixed only on the eating of the orange, you know what\'s likely to happen? In all likelihood, you\'re not peeling the orange because you\'re not there.
And when you come to eat that orange, you will not eat the orange because you will be somewhere else. Like the story of that boatman, this wise and ancient boatman who is carrying pilgrims across the river in his boat so that they can go to a shrine. Now one day someone says to the boatman, didn\'t you ever go to the shrine? And the boatman says, no, not yet, because I still haven\'t taken in everything that the river has to offer me. This river, I find peace here.

I find wisdom. I find God. But these poor pilgrims, they don\'t even notice the river. Their minds are all set on the shrine. They don\'t see it.
Could that be the story of our lives That we\'re washing the cup to drink the coffee and so we\'re really not washing the cup because we\'re not there, and we never drink the coffee because we\'re not there, and so it goes on and on and on. That would be a tragedy, wouldn\'t it? We would have missed out on life. Well, how would we remedy that? There\'s another story of Buddha.
I told you one at the beginning of this program. Well, the legend in India says that Buddha traveled all through India in search of enlightenment. He went to the greatest masters of his time. He practiced all the disciplines and spiritualities available, but he couldn\'t get what we in India call enlightenment. Till finally, he gave up in despair.
And so the story goes, he sat under a bodhi tree, and he was enlightened. It happened. Years later, his disciples said to him, now, master, tell us the secret of enlightenment. How could we get it? And, of course, there is no secret.
There is no technique. And the old man attempted to explain this to them, but they still wanted a technique. So Buddha, I imagine with a twinkle in his eye, said, alright. I\'ll give you a technique. Do this.
When you are breathing in, be aware that you are breathing in. And when you are breathing out, be aware that you are breathing out, period. Isn\'t that extraordinary? Doesn\'t seem very spiritual. You know what he had in mind?
He wanted them to come into the present because he knew enlightened man that he was, that God is not tomorrow. God is now. Life is not tomorrow. Life is now. Love is not tomorrow.
Love is now. Enlightenment is now. If you would come into the present, it might happen. You can\'t produce it, but it might happen. That\'s pretty similar to that exercise I gave you when I spoke to you about peace.
Remember? I said, do one thing at a time and internally verbalize what you\'re doing. Now that\'s a very good exercise too for coming into the present, for coming into the now, for coming alive. Good. So that\'s the second thing that you need in order to be alive, to be you, to be now, I said, and here comes the third thing, to be here.
What does that mean? That means to come out of your head and come to your senses quite literally, to get out of abstraction and come into experience. Now that might seem rather difficult to understand. Let me explain it by means of a simple story. There\'s the story of an American soldier in the Korean war some years ago.
He was homesick as Thanksgiving Day was approaching, and a Korean couple that had spent many years in the states invited him over for Thanksgiving dinner. When the man got there, to his great surprise and joy, he finds

that they had prepared turkey and cranberry sauce, and that happened to be his favorite dish. So he gave himself a generous helping of the turkey. And right at the beginning of the meal, he gets into an argument with his host. And by the time the argument ended, the meal ended too.
And the poor soldier realizes at the end of the meal that he he hasn\'t enjoyed the meal. He hadn\'t even tasted the turkey. That is what I mean by come into the here. Now, you know, arguments are fine. Ideas are fine.
But ideas are not life. They\'re excellent to guide us in life, but they are not life. Abstractions are not life. Life is found in experience. It\'s like the menu.
You\'re reading the menu. That\'s wonderful. You could guide yourself by that menu, but the menu is not the food. You know? And if you spend all your time with the menu, you will never get to eat the food.
And sometimes it\'s even worse. There are people, not literally, of course, there are people who are eating the menu. They\'re living on ideas. They missed out on life. Well, what can you do then to overcome this?
Oh, there is something else I want to tell you here connected with this that\'ll help you to understand it better. There is this contemporary Indian mystic Krishnamurti who says the following powerful and deep sentence. He says, the day we teach a child the name of a bird, the child ceases to see that bird again. You know, the child watches this fluffy, alive thing, so full of mystery and wonder, and we teach the child sparrow. Sparrow.
So now the child has an idea, sparrow. So later, every time it sees the sparrow, it says, well, we know sparrow. It\'s like me. I\'ve got an idea American in my head, let us suppose. And then every time I see a person who is an American by nationality, I say, oh, well, American.
And I miss the uniqueness of this individual. When was it last that you experienced the wonder of a child when he looks or she looks at this mysterious vibrant, vibrating, vibrant thing that we call a sparrow. You see that word, that idea comes in the way. The word, the idea sparrow, can be an obstacle to your seeing the sparrow. That word, that idea, American, can be an obstacle to my really seeing this American here in front of me, just as I told you in that very first program, that the word and the idea God can be an obstacle to my seeing God.
Well, how would we remedy this? You can do it right now even as I\'m talking to you. Listen to the sound of my voice and any other sounds that you may pick up in the surroundings. Can you hear any others? Big sounds, small sounds, together with the sound of my voice.
You know what happens when you do this? You are coming to your senses, and that is where the experience is. There\'s no abstraction there, no idea there. And later, get to the senses precisely in this way. Look at what you are looking.

Hear what you are hearing. Touch what you are touching. There\'s this famous guru who gets enlightenment. So the story says and his disciples say to him, master, what did you get as a result of enlightenment? What did enlightenment give you?
And the man says, well, I\'ll tell you what it gave me. When I eat, I eat. When I look, I look. When I hear, I hear. That\'s what it gave me.
But his bewildered disciples said, but but everybody does that. And the master laughed, and he said, well, if everybody does that, then everybody is enlightened. Because the fact of the matter is that hardly anybody does that. Hardly anybody is here and alive. Good.
I will be talking to you in the next program about freedom, which is intimately linked with life. It\'s really another aspect of life. But before I end this one, I want to summarize what I\'ve said to you. I said to be alive means to be you, to be alive means to be here, and to be alive means to be now. And I gave you 2 exercises which I consider to be among the greatest of spiritual exercises even though they don\'t seem to be spiritual.
And which were those? A, observe yourself. In the measure that you observe yourself non judgmentally, like a neutral observer, in the measure that you do this, you will get rid of your mechanicalness and your puppet existence and you will be a dis you will be able to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. You can\'t be a disciple of Jesus Christ if you\'re a puppet. If you are only 1 tenth alive, you are only 1 tenth able to be his disciple.
You get the point? That\'s why it\'s a great spiritual exercise. And the second great spiritual exercise, experience reality. Come to your senses. That will bring you into the now.
That will bring you into experience, and it is in the now that God is to be found. Well, let me end by bringing up an objection which some of you there are likely to have to these two exercises. You will say, is this prayer really? Because prayer is talking to God, isn\'t it? That\'s right.
Prayer is talking to God. But, you know, you may not be talking, but you may be saying a great deal to God. Think of a mother who is ill, and her daughter cleans up the house, fixes the meals, helps with the gardening. She\'s not talking to her mother, but how much she is saying to her. These exercises that I\'ve proposed are not easy.
They can be painful when you watch yourself and discover how mechanical they are you are. It isn\'t easy to find the time for all of this, but you\'re doing this so that you will come alive. How much you are saying to God because God is found in life, isn\'t he? The great German theologian, Bonhoeffer, put it powerfully when he said, Jesus Christ calls us not to a new religion but to life. Well, get into life and you will be answering the call of Jesus Christ.
In the last program, I talked to you about life. Today, I\'d like to talk to you about freedom. Now the freedom I\'m talking about has nothing to do

with totalitarian regimes or prisons. The freedom I\'m talking about is something else. There is this Japanese general that I read about once who was arrested by his enemies and thrown into prison, And the man knew that the next day he was going to be tortured.
So he couldn\'t sleep. He kept tossing about in bed in his prison cell. And then suddenly he came to a realization. He said, when am I going to be tortured? Tomorrow.
But tomorrow isn\'t real. That\'s what his Zen master had taught him. And the moment he realized this, he calmed down and fell asleep on the realization that the only real thing is now. So after sleep, he went. He was in prison, but he was a free man.
The enemies to freedom are not outside of us. The enemies are here. The chains that bind us are here. And in this program, I want to talk to you about those chains. We\'re going to take them 1 at a time because there are quite a few.
The first chain that binds us and prevents us from being free are the bad experiences of the past. That\'s easy enough to understand. You have someone who lost his mother when he was 8 years old, and he is so damaged and crippled by that experience that he won\'t come close to anyone anymore now. You have a woman who was sexually assaulted maybe when she was a child, and now she\'s afraid of all men. You have a man who was unjustly accused and thrown out of his job, and his whole life is poisoned by bitterness.
See bad experiences from the past. A woman who sees all the tremendous opportunities that are open to her children, and she regrets the fact that she was poor when she was a child and that she never had those opportunities, and she\'s full of complaints. Or I remember a friend of mine who was so guilty that he arrived late at the deathbed of his father. Somehow he couldn\'t forgive himself for that even though he wasn\'t to blame. And every now and then, the memory of that would come back, and he would get all immobilized.
So the first thing that chains us and prevents us from being free and alive are the bad experiences of the past. How would we break those chains? How would we become free again? Here is a simple exercise that I would like to offer you to get that. What you\'re going to need for it is faith and gratitude.
Try this. If you realize that you are being influenced by one of these bad experiences of the past, then in a moment of peace and quiet because you\'re going to need some time for this don\'t do it when you\'re in a hurry now. In some time of peace and quiet, go back to that experience. Don\'t get immersed in it now. Stay away some distance from it, so to speak, and speak to the Lord.
You could even imagine that the Lord is there next to you. And you say to him, lord, this is difficult, but I really believe I trust that if you allowed this to happen, it was for my good. I may not be able to see the good, but I trust that it is there. Now do it gently. Don\'t be violent.

Don\'t force yourself. Don\'t push. If you find you\'re revolting too much, alright, let it be, and go at it another day. That\'s important. In fact, what\'s likely to happen is as you begin to do do this, you might feel anger welling up within your heart.
Well, get angry. It\'s alright. That\'s a good prayer. And the lord appreciates that. He appreciates honesty.
And then leave it for another day. See, this is something that\'s likely to take time because freedom isn\'t quickly achieved. Well, when you can find it in your heart to really say this to the lord that you believe that it is for your good, Then you move on to the next step. Thank him for it. And when you can really thank him for it and thank him for the good that he is going to draw out of it, you will be released.
The chain will be broken. One chain less to tie you down. Another type of chain that ties us down inside, the good experiences of the past. Now you will be a bit astonished to hear that because good experiences are wonderful. In fact, it\'s even good occasionally to go back and relive them and be nourished by them again.
But there is a danger there. You know what the danger is? That you might catch that disease called nostalgia. If you are suffering from nostalgia, you know what has happened to you? You\'ve stopped living because you\'ve abandoned the present, and there is something else that you\'re likely to do.
You\'re likely to even destroy the present. Let me explain that. Let\'s suppose you had a lovely experience with a friend. You were sitting down with him watching the sunset, and that was a marvelous experience. The next time you are with your friend, you go out to dinner, let\'s say, or you go for a stroll and talk.
Now you know what you are likely to do? You\'re likely to take that beautiful experience of the past, that experience of the sunset, and put it in a silver casket and carry it around with you. So while you are strolling with your friend, you sort of secretly open your silver casket and you take a look at it and you say, oh, this one is not as good as the past experience. You see what you\'ve done? Thanks to that experience of the past, you destroyed the present.
You\'re going to be less alive and less free. That beautiful experience of the past chains you down. How would you get rid of this? Here is what I suggest you do. Now I\'m warning you, this might be somewhat painful.
Prayer can be painful. You know? To give birth to new life can be painful. So what do you do? Think of some of the people you loved in the past and who are no more with you either because they are separated or because they have died.
And you talk to each one of these people. You say something like this. How lucky I was that you came into my life. How grateful I am to you. I will love you always.

And now, goodbye. I must go because if I cling to you, I will not learn to love the present, and I will not learn to love the people I am with right now. So goodbye. You can see how painful that can be. And then you move on to some of those lovely experiences that you had in the past, and you personalize them.
And you think of each one of them, and you say, how wonderful it was that I had you. I\'m so grateful. And now, goodbye. That may be somewhat more painful, you know. And here comes one which some of you might find even more painful.
You think of some of the possessions of the past, things that you treasured, like your youth, your strength, your good looks maybe, and you personalize them. Now this may sound a little childish to some of you, but don\'t be afraid to be like a little child. You may find the kingdom. So you personalize this thing and you talk to it. You have a dialogue with it.
And you say, how wonderful it was to have you, How grateful I am that I had you in my life. And now, goodbye. I must go. You know, lots of aging people never really live and never taste all the sweetness and depth and richness that old age brings because they haven\'t let go of you and strength and vitality. As the poet says so beautifully, The best is yet to be.
The last of life for which the first was made. The best is yet to be. Many people miss out on the best period of life, their old age, because they are too centered on the past. They are enchained by the good experiences of the past. So that is 2 chains that we have dealt with that prevent us from being free.
You know a bird that is crippled and damaged cannot fly, but a bird that clings to the branch of a tree cannot fly either. So stop clinging to the past. The Hindus in my country, in India, have a very lovely saying, a very lovely religious saying. They say, water remains pure by flowing. The holy person remains pure by going.
I\'d put it this way, water remains sparkling and fresh and alive and free by flowing. You will remain that way by going. I love you. I am grateful to you. Goodbye.
And now comes the 3rd chain, and the 3rd chain is anxieties and fears for the future. Remember that Japanese general I spoke to you about? Jesus is saying the same thing in more poetic language language when he says, look at the birds of the air. Look at the lilies of the field. They are not anxious.
So don\'t be anxious, says Jesus. Now easily said, but how hard to attain in reality. In fact, it\'s so wonderful to think that Jesus himself broke down before he died temporarily. He was depressed. He was anxious.
And if we want to break that chain of anxiety for the future, we must do what Jesus himself did. What I recommend is take that fear that you have

and talk to it once again as if it were a person, lovingly now, no violence, because that fear is there mistakenly to protect you. So you talk to the fear and say, well, I understand why you are here, but it\'s alright. I\'m going to trust the lord, and you turn to the lord and tell him that. And if you can find it in your heart to do this, thank him in advance for the outcome.
That\'ll be a great help. Thank the Lord for whatever is going to happen. The next inner chain that keeps us slaves also has to do with the future, ambitions. Now to have ambition can be a wonderful thing, but to be enslaved by ambition, that\'s awful. People who are just driven by ambition, they don\'t even live.
Now there\'s no need to explain that. We all know people like this. What do you do if you happen to be the victim of this kind of ambition? Well, something similar. Stand in the presence of the lord, make an act of faith that the future is in his hands, and you say something like this to him.
You say, lord, I trust that you are in control of the future. I\'m going to do everything in my power to make my dreams come true, but I leave the result in your hands. And then you imagine that you let go, and you thank him ahead of time for the outcome. That will bring you a measure of peace and freedom. The next chain, you see we are going pretty rapidly one after the other, clinging to present things.
The human heart is a great clinger, and I don\'t have to tell you that because every human being experiences that. We become possessive of persons, of things. We don\'t want to be separated from them. We become dependent on them. We lose our freedom.
And frequently, when there are persons involved, we don\'t leave them free either. Here is an exercise that I suggest to liberate our hearts from this kind of clinging. You take a person that you are deeply attached to, but so attached that you are dependent and possessive, and you don\'t want to let go. Again, talk to that person in imagination. Imagine the person is sitting there right there in front of you, and you talk to the person.
Talk lovingly. Tell the person what he or she means to you and then add the following formula, which in the beginning you might find painful. And as I told you before, don\'t force yourself. If it is too painful, let it go. Come to it another time when you may be more ready.
And the formula is this. You say, how precious you are to me, how dear, and how lovely, but you are not my life. I have a life to live, a destiny to fulfill that is separate from you. Painful words but so charged with grace and with life. And then you take things.
You take places. You take occupations. Things that are precious to you, and you find very hard to let go so that they enslave you. And you say something similar to each one of them. How precious you are, but you are not my life.

I have a life to live, a destiny to meet that is separate from you. And then say it to the things that are most intimate to you, things that are almost part of your being, your reputation, your health. Say it to life itself, which one day will be swallowed up in death. Say, how precious you are, how lovely, but you are not my life. I have a life to live and a destiny to meet that is separate from you.
Hopefully, as a result of courageously saying this formula, you will attain to spiritual freedom. There is yet another chain that I have to speak of, but I am not going to name it right now. I will talk about it later. What I\'m going to do now is give you an exercise, and then we will talk about this chain. Remember, we spoke about bad experiences of the past, good experiences of the past, future fears, future ambitions, present clinging.
And now here comes what I consider to be the most powerful chain of
the most difficult to break. Try this exercise. You may not be able
it right now. You may need a little more time and peace in which to
it, but you are sitting there listening to me. Now think, what existed on this spot where I am sitting a 100 years ago?
Use your imagination. Go on. What existed on this spot a 100 years ago? Then take a bigger leap and think or imagine what existed on this spot 3000 years ago. Now that is a 1000 years before the birth of Jesus Christ.
3000 years ago. And yet it is relatively recent history, you know, because scientists tell us that life has existed on this planet anywhere from 3 to 15000000 years. Imagine that if you can. Alright. So 3000 years ago, what existed on this planet?
And 3000 years hence, what will exist on this spot on which I am sitting right now? Will there be a desert here? Will there be a jungle? Will there be another civilization? One thing you can be quite sure, if there are people there, they won\'t be talking your language.
They won\'t have your customs. They will belong to another culture. No language has survived as a living language for 3000 years. So try to imagine that. And then it is as if you come to Earth 3000 years hence, and you are searching for this place and you\'re looking for any remains of your existence.
Do that, and you know what will happen to you? You will experience a sense of vastness, a kind of a freeing sense. You know what you are being freed from? From delusion. The delusion of thinking that you matter because, you know, except in the eyes of God, you and I do not really matter.
We\'re not as important as we think. Think of one of those birds that Jesus speaks of. Think of one of those lilies, those flowers of the field that he speaks of. Think of a grain of sand. Think of a drop of water, a raindrop.
all, to do do

Think of yourself. That is what you are. How insignificant. If you are able to do this exercise successfully, you will be liberated from the strongest tyranny of them all, which is the tyranny of the self. You will experience liberation, relief, and freedom because there is no one who is so free and so alive as the person who has accepted his or her death and his or her insignificance.
The exercise will give you perspective and vastness. But as I said, you\'ll need time. You need 15 or 20 minutes to really get into it. Try it out when you have the time. Well, I was about to summarize this program for you.
But before I do that, I want to give you one last exercise, which I call the mysterious exercise. And you will soon see why it is mysterious simply because you won\'t see the connection in the beginning between this exercise that I\'m going to give you and freedom. What is this mysterious exercise? It consists in the following. Get in touch with the sensations that you experience in your body the way I told you to when I talked about peace.
Remember? Alright. So get in touch with those sensation in your body. And after you\'ve done this for a while, be aware of the one who is observing those sensations and say, in in internally, say, I am not those sensations. I am not this body.
Then be aware of your thinking, those thoughts that keep going around in your mind. And after a while, turn your attention to the one who is observing the thoughts and say, I am not these thoughts or I am not my thoughts. And then become aware of your feelings or recall some feelings that you have had in the past, especially in the recent past, anxiety, depression, guilt, whatever. And after a while, turn your attention to the one who is observing those feelings or the one who is recalling the feelings, and you say, I am not these feelings. I am not my feelings.
You say you are anxious, but that is because you have identified with your anxiety. I am not the anxiety. You say you are depressed. Don\'t identify with the depression. I am not The depression.
I call this a mysterious exercise. It is one of the great spiritual exercises that is given in the east. Mysterious because you don\'t notice the result immediately, but it has its effect unfailingly, and it breaks that deepest of all the chains that I called a little while ago, the chain of delusion, the tyranny of the self. To summarize then, I have given you quite a few exercises in this program. In the next one, I will be talking about love, which again is related to life and related to freedom.
What I would suggest at the end of this program is that you stay there as I have exhorted you to do in all of these programs. Be silent for a few minutes. Stay in your chairs and practice any of the exercise that I suggested and that appealed to you. I\'ve given you 2 exercises that I would call long term exercises. The one on perspective, remember?

Like, 3000 years ago, 3000 years hence, that one. And the second long term exercise, this mysterious one, I am not my feelings, I am not my thoughts, etcetera. And then I have given you a number of other exercises to deal with your slavery, with those chains on a short term basis, so to speak. Well, before I end, let me tell you one last story. It is the story again of a free person.
It\'s a story of a girl in a fishing village who became an unwed mother, and her parents beat her till the girl confessed who the father was. She said, it was the master, the Zen master living in that temple outside the village. The parents were indignant and so were all the villagers, and they trooped to the temple after that baby was born. They took the baby with them and placed the baby at there before the zen master. And they said, you hypocrite.
This child is yours. You look after it. And all that the master said was very well, very well. And he picked up the baby, and he gave it to one of the women in the village to look after at his expense. Well, after this, the master had lost his reputation.
His disciples abandoned him. No one went to consult him, and this went on for some months. When the girl saw this, she could take it no longer, and so she finally blurted out the truth. The father of that child was really not the master. It was a boy living next door.
Well, when the parents heard that, they and the rest of the villagers rushed to the temple. They prostrated themselves in front of the master. They begged his pardon, and they asked to have the baby back. And the master gave them the baby back, and all he said was, oh, very well. Very well.
There is a free person, a person who is capable of suffering, but has attained that perspective that I was talking to you about. My wish for you and for me is that as a result of our poor efforts, God will give us this gift too. In the course of this series on A Way to God for today, I have talked to you about peace and joy and silence and life and freedom. I have kept the most rewarding and possibly the most difficult topic for the end. Today, I want to talk to you about love.
I said it is possibly the most difficult topic because love is something that is so vast. It\'s almost like God himself in its vastness and its mystery. We human beings sort of get a glimpse into love now and then. We understand it dimly, but I don\'t think anyone really comprehends this mysterious thing that we call love. What I am going to do in the program now is dwell on just two aspects of love, and I call them the aspect of love as creation and love as identification.
Let me talk about love as creation, and I\'ll illustrate what I mean by that by means of a lovely American Indian tale. It\'s one of my favorites. There is this Indian warrior who finds the egg of an eagle on a mountaintop, and then he places that egg with the other eggs that were being hatched by a hen. And in due course, the little chickens came out. They were hatched, and the little eaglet was hatched too.

And the little eaglet grew up surrounded by these chickens. And after a while, he learned to cluck like the chickens. He learned to scratch and claw at the earth and peck for worms, and he would flap his wings and just manage to get onto one of those low lying branches just like the other chickens. And all his life, he lived with the consciousness that he was a chicken. Now, one day, when this eagle had grown old, he happened to look up into the sky and he saw a magnificent sight.
There in the clear blue sky was a majestic bird, gliding where the strong currents of winds blew without the slightest discernible effort. The old eagle was impressed, and he turned to the chicken next to him and said, who\'s that? And the chicken looked up and said, oh, that. That\'s the golden eagle, the king of the birds. But don\'t give it another thought.
You and I are not like that. And so the old eagle never gave it another thought, and he died with the consciousness that he was a chicken.
Because that is the way everybody had treated him, and that is the grew up. You know what love as creation means? It means to look at eagle and give him the consciousness of who he truly is so that he spread his wings and become a golden eagle.
way he
that
would
And in doing that, you create the eagle in him. There is a famous American psychologist who, together with a team some years ago, conducted a very interesting experiment in a high school here in the United States. You know what he did? He gave all the children in a high school an IQ test. Now this was just before promotion, before the kids went on to the next class.
Now those IQ tests were given to the teachers, but not quite. These psychologists picked 10 or 12 names, and they said to every one of the teachers, these 10 children will be coming into your class. You know, from the tests, it is clear that they are what is technically known as spurters. So you can expect them to spurt ahead in the course of the next academic year. Only you must promise never to say this to the children because it might do them damage.
And the children and the teachers promised they would not say this to the children. The fact is that there was no such technical word as spurter and that the experimenters had just taken any 10 or 12 names at random and given them to the tea to the teachers. Well, after a year, they came back to the school, and they tested all the children again. And what do you think had happened? Every one of those spurters had increased his or her IQ by a minimum of 12 points.
Some had increased it by as much as 36 points. The experimenters interviewed the teachers. They said, you know, what did you think of these kids? And the teachers, interestingly enough, were using adjectives like curious, affectionate, lively, interested, etcetera, for these kids. What would have happened to those kids if the teachers had not felt, rightly or wrongly, that they had budding geniuses in their classrooms?
Were those qualities really in the kids? They evidently were. But, you know, those teachers drew them out. Later, this psychologist tried the

same experiment in other schools. They even tried it with animals and always with success.
You know, they would tell some psychology students who would be experimenting with rats. They\'d say, we\'re going to give you a new breed of rats that will perform better. And what do you know? Those rats were performing better, though they were the same breed. And they found out that it was because the students were treating them with more respect or something.
They were expecting this from the rats, and the rats were living up to their expectations. It was somehow communicated even to the animals. You know, when I first heard of that experiment, I thought of a great, great American, whom some of you may still remember, father Flanagan, who founded Boys Town. The man became a legend even in my country many years ago. He founded this place to help homeless boys in the beginning, but then later on, he would help delinquent boys.
And when the police would fail and everybody else would fail and they wouldn\'t know what to do with children, Flanagan would take them in. And the legend said that he never failed with these kids. I remember one interesting story that impressed me immensely. There was this 8 year old boy who had murdered both his parents. Can you think what must have happened to that kid that he would have become violent at that young age?
And he had been arrested again and again in armed bank robberies. The police did not know what to do with him because he was a minor. They couldn\'t take him to court. They couldn\'t send him to jail. They couldn\'t even send him to reformatory school because he had to be at least 12 years old for that.
So in sheer desperation, they called Flanagan. They said, would you take this kid? And Flanagan said, sure. Send him along. Now the boy, many years later, wrote his story.
He said, I remember the day I was traveling to Boys Town in that train with a policeman, and I was thinking, they\'re sending me to a priest. If that man tells me that he loves me, I\'ll kill him. And, you know, the boy was a killer. Well, what happened? He went to boystown and the scene went something like this.
There was a knock at the door and Flanagan said, come in. And the boy walked in and Flanagan says, well, whom do we have here? Dave, sir. Oh oh oh, yes. Yes.
Of course. Dave, welcome to Boys Town. We were expecting you. Now that you\'re here, you will want to, look around and, you know, everybody here works for his living. Henry here will show you around, and then maybe you could choose an occupation, but take your time.
Look around the place. That was all. I\'ll see you. Great. That was all.
Nothing more. And the boy said that those few seconds changed his life. You know why? Because he said, for the first time in my life, I looked

into the eyes of a man who, without using the words, was saying not I love you. He was saying, you\'re good.
You\'re not bad. You\'re good. And, you know, the boy became good because as psych as psychologists tell us, we tend to become what we feel we are. Can you think of anything more spiritual and more divine than that? That we see goodness in someone and we communicate that to the person.
And as a result, the person is transformed. The person is created. And that is the reason why it is said that the lover creates his beloved. He sees beauty there, and in the seeing, he draws it out. Well, people frequently asked Flanagan what the secret of his success was, and Flanagan would always brush it aside, but he had a motto, and the motto was, there is no such thing as a bad boy.
See, Flanagan saw goodness there, and he drew that goodness out. He created it. And that is what I want to propose to you as love. One aspect of love, but a very beautiful and a very deep aspect of this thing that we call love. Well, would you like to get something of this charisma that Flanagan had?
I\'m pretty sure there\'s not one of you who is listening to me who wouldn\'t want to share it because we all want to love, don\'t we? If you want to develop that kind of charism, then you have to go to a school of
love, and you will have to do some not difficult exercises, spiritual exercises, which I am going now. Try them out. Later, when you have the time program, try them out. What are these exercises?
but not too easy
to propose to you right
or at the end of this
They\'re somewhat graded. You don\'t really have to follow the grading, but it would it would help if you did. Begin in the following fashion. Think of somebody whom you love. You love deeply, let\'s say.
Imagine that that person is sitting there in front of you and talk to that person. Talk lovingly. Tell that person what he or she means to you, what it has meant to you and to your life that this person came into your life. And as you do this, be in touch with what you\'re feeling. Then when you\'re all warm and aglow from this exercise, move on to the next one, the next step.
Think of somebody whom you don\'t like, you don\'t particularly like, and you\'re standing there in front of this person. And as you are looking at that person, try to see something good in the person to make allowances, to understand, and even to see goodness and good qualities there. If you find it hard to do this, then imagine that Jesus is standing there beside you, and he is looking at that person. Then he would become your teacher in the art of love, in the art of looking. What does he see there?
What goodness, what beauty can he detect in that person? Incidentally, if Jesus were to come to earth again, what do you think is the first thing that he would notice in humanity? What do you think? You know what my guess is? I think the first thing that he would notice would be the immense amount of goodness, of trust, of sincerity, of sheer lovingness to invent a word that invades the whole of humanity.

There are oceans of this among human beings, and he would notice it immediately because the good person notices goodness everywhere. And the person who is evil notices evil because we tended to see in others, don\'t we, a reflection of ourselves. So you have Jesus here looking at this person. What does he see in him or her? And then if you can get yourself an imagination to say this to that person, you\'re already taking a step forward to seeing and creating by seeing.
Having done that, you come to the 3rd exercise. And some of you will probably find this one the most difficult of all, but don\'t shirk it. If you really want to become loving, you have to go through with it. And what does it consist of? You imagine that you have Jesus right there in front of you, and he talks to you, and he tells you all the goodness and the beauty and the lovely qualities that he sees in you.
Now if you are anything like what I am and like what most human beings are, you will probably shrink from that. You will immediately begin to accuse yourself of, oh, of all kinds of defects and sins, and Jesus will accept that because, you know, Jesus was no starry eyed romanticist. When he saw evil, he called it by its name, and he condemned it. But he would never condemn the sinner though he condemned the sin. Think how he would look at a prostitute.
You find it in the pages of the of the gospels. How he would look at a thief, at a hardened publican, even at the Pharisees and the people who were crucifying him. Well, here he is then standing in front of you, and you accuse yourself of all of these sins, and he accepts them, and he admits that you do have all of those defects. But he understands. He makes allowances, and you notice an extraordinary thing.
Those defects don\'t come in the way of his seeing goodness and beauty in you. That\'s not difficult to understand. Think of yourself. Think of someone whom you love. If you really look at that person, he or she has defects, isn\'t it?
And yet those defects don\'t come in the way of your really loving the person and seeing goodness in that person. So imagine that Jesus is doing this and see what effect that has on you. That is vitally important if you are going to be able to do the same for others that you accept this from him and from those who love you. When Jesus first met Simon Peter, the gospels tell us, Simon, the fearful, the impulsive, he saw in that man something that no one would have suspected was there, and he nicknamed him the rock. And that is what Peter became.
Well, here is a variation of that exercise. Imagine that Jesus is standing right there in front of you. What name or what names does he invent for you? Before I move on to the next point, the other next aspect of love, I want to recount here a lovely fairy tale that you have in the west. You know, these fairy tales, they contain a great deal of wisdom.
The tale of the princess and the frog. There is this charming princess who goes for a walk in the woods one day and meets with this frog, and the frog greets her very courteously. And the princess is amazed that the

frog would speak human language, but then the frog says, your royal highness, I\'m not a frog really, I\'m a prince. But a wicked fairy cast a spell on me and turned me into a frog. And the princess, being a softhearted person, felt very bad about that.
She said, isn\'t there something that can be done to break the spell? Oh, yes, said the frog. The fairy said that if I would find a princess who would love me and keep me with her 3 days 3 nights, the spell would be broken and I would become a prince again. Well, the princess already saw the prince there in that frog. So she took the frog back home with her to the palace and everyone said, what\'s this lonesome creature you have brought her brought with you?
But she said, oh, no, it isn\'t a lonesome creature, it\'s a prince. And being a strong willed girl, she kept the frog with her day and night there at the table, sitting on her pillow while she slept. And after 3 days and 3 nights, she wakes up to find this handsome young prince who kisses her hand in gratitude for having broken the spell and turned him into a prince. You know that fairy tale is the story of all of us. Somehow, we have been turned into frogs, and we go through life looking for someone who will break the spell and create us.
Is your Jesus like that? Is he as good as Flanagan? Is your God like that? You remember I told you in that first program that God is unknown, but when we make an image out of him, is he at least as good as the best of us? When you walk in, does your God say, angels, trumpets, here comes the prince, here comes the princess.
Is that the way he treats you? Even while he sees all of your defects. You may want to ponder on this because, you know, we tend to become like the God whom we adore. Let\'s get on to the next aspect of love, love as identification. In my country, in India, the mystics and the poets have asked this question again and again, who is the holy person?
And they come up with some beautiful answers. They say the holy person is like a rose. Is it possible for a rose to say, I will give my fragrance only to good people who smell me and I will withhold my fragrance from evil people? Not possible. That\'s not in the nature of the rose.
And the holy person is like a lamp lit in a dark room. Can a lamp say, I will give my light only to the good people in this room and withhold my light from the bad people? And the holy person is like a tree that gives its shade to good people and bad people alike. And the poet, Tulsidas, says, the tree will give its shade even to the man who is chopping it down, and if it is a sweet smelling tree, it will leave its scent on the axe. Now isn\'t that exactly like what Jesus tells us when he tells us that we must be all compassionate as our heavenly father is, who makes his rain to fall on good and bad alike, and who makes his sun to shine on saints and sinners alike.
How would we ever get to this kind of love? By realization, by a mystical realization or experience. What does that mean? You remember how when I was talking about silence in that very first program, I told you that God

is something like a dancer and the whole of creation is a dance, and that the dancer and the dance are not 2. They\'re not 1, but they\'re not 2.
Well, if you ever got the experience that you and the people around you are not 2, not 1 but not 2 You know, something like we Christians say, God is 3 persons and 1 God. So we are millions of persons and 1 Christ. You know the way Saint Paul puts it, don\'t you know we are all one body members of one another? That image of the body, like my body and I, we\'re really not 2. We\'re not the same thing.
I am not my body, but we\'re not 2. And how much I love my body, even though that love which I feel for my body isn\'t a feeling at all. But whether a member of my body, a limb of my body is deceased or healthy, I love it just as much. So here it is, this realization that some lucky people are given, that they are different from others, but not separate. They\'re one body.
You know, we have an interesting tale in India of 7 crazy men who go to a neighboring village, for a kind of a big banquet, and they come home late at night drunk and crazy as they were before. So it begins to rain, and they all take shelter under a tree. And the next morning, they wake up and there is loud lamentation, and a passerby stops there and says, what\'s going on? And they say, well, we huddled under this tree and our limbs got all mixed up, our legs and our hands, so we don\'t know whose legs and whose hands belong to whom. So the passerby said, well, that\'s easy.
Give me a pin. Then he pricked one leg, and the owner said, ouch. And the man says, that\'s your leg. And so he went on pricking different hands and legs and separating them. You know, when someone is hurt or someone is badly treated and I say, ouch, something has happened.
Love as identification, as not to. Can we do anything to get this grace? No. No. It is a gift.
What all that we can do is prepare ourselves. How? You\'re going to find this hard to believe now, but you remember how I told you in that very first program that if we would sit and look or we would sit and get in touch with ourselves when I spoke about peace. We would come to a silence, and things would be revealed to us. Well, all you can do is prepare the ground.
And if you have been practicing this exercise, which I have really been recommending in almost every one of these programs of sitting, of looking, of getting into the present, you are preparing yourself beautifully for this grace. Someday, hopefully, it may be given to you. So let me summarize what I have said then in this in this program. I gave you a somewhat lengthy series of exercises to practice, which will give you, let\'s put it this way, short term results, fairly quick results because you will notice the difference. And then I have given you this other exercise, hopefully, that would bring you love as identification.
That would be a somewhat long term result that God may give to you. In the first series of exercises, you will become loving. With this other

exercise, you may become love. Christianity tells us that God is unknown. He is the mystery.
And Christianity also makes an outstanding statement, which we find in the bible, that God is love. Think of God, the unknown, not just as a noun. Could we think of him also as a verb so that we could say, when you are loving, you are god ing? Could we think of god not just as a person but as an activity so that when you are loving, you are guarding, you are charged with divinity and with God and with grace. Well, this series of programs has been called A Way to God for Today.
Can you think in this world that is torn by conflicts, suspicions, hatreds, wars, can you think of a better way to God for today than this one?

Of what use is it to you to gain the whole world if you suffer the loss of your soul? Recall the kind of feeling you have when someone praises you. When you are approved, accepted, applauded. And contrast that with the kind of feeling that arises within you when you look at the sunset or the sunrise or nature in general, or when you read a book, or watch a movie that you thoroughly enjoy. Get the taste of this feeling and contrast it with the first.
Namely, the one that was generated within you when you were praised. Understand that the first type of feeling comes from self glorification, self promotion. It is a worldly feeling. The second comes from self fulfillment. A soul feeling.
Here is another contrast. Recall the kind of feeling you have when you succeed, when you have made it, when you get to the top, when you win a bet or a game or an argument. And contrast it with the kind of feeling you get when you really enjoy the job you are doing. When you are absorbed in the action that you are currently engaged in. And once again, notice the qualitative difference between the worldly feeling and the soul feeling.
Yet another contrast. Remember what you felt like when you had power. You were the boss. People looked up to you. Took orders from you.
Or when you were popular. And contrast that worldly feeling with the feeling of intimacy, companionship. The times you thoroughly enjoyed in the company of a friend or with a group in which there was fun and laughter. Having done this, attempt to understand the true nature of worldly feelings namely, the feelings of self promotion, self glorification. They are not natural.
They were invented by your society and your culture to make you productive and to make you controllable. These feelings do not produce the nourishment and happiness that is produced when one contemplates nature or enjoys the company of one\'s friends or one\'s work. They were meant to produce thrills, excitement, and emptiness. Having reflected on this, observe yourself in the course of a day or of a week, and think how many actions of yours are performed. How many activities engaged in that are uncontaminated by the desire for these thrills, these excitements that only produce emptiness.
The desire for attention, approval, fame, popularity, success, or power. And take a look at the people around you. Is there a single one of them who has not become addicted to these worldly feelings? A single one who is not controlled by them, hungering for them, spending every minute of his or her waking life, consciously or unconsciously seeking them. When you see this, you will understand how people attempt to gain the world, and in the process, lose their souls.
For they live empty soulless lives. And here is a parable of life for you to ponder on. A tourist bus is passing through gorgeously beautiful country, lakes and mountains and green fields and rivers. But the shades of the bus are down, And the tourists do not have the slightest idea of

what lies beyond the windows of the bus. And all the time of their journey is spent in squabbling over who will have the seat of honor in the bus.
Who will be applauded? Who will be well considered? And so they remain till journey\'s end. None of you can be a disciple of mine without taking leave of all his possession. If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.
Take a look at the world and see the unhappiness around you and in you. Do you know what causes it? You will probably say loneliness or oppression or war or hatred or atheism. And you will be wrong. There is only one cause of unhappiness.
The false beliefs you have in your head. Beliefs so commonly held that it never occurs to you to question them. Because of these false beliefs, you see the world and yourself in a distorted way. Your programming is so strong and the pressure of society is so intense that you are literally trapped into perceiving the world in this distorted kind of way. There is no way out because you do not even have a suspicion that your perception is distorted.
Your thinking is wrong, and your beliefs are false. Look around and see if you can find a single genuinely happy person free from insecurities, fears, tension, worries. You will be lucky if you found 1 in a 100000. This should lead you to suspect the programming and the beliefs that you and they hold in common. But you have also been programmed not to suspect, not to doubt, Just to trust the assumptions that have been put into you by your tradition, your culture, your society, your religion.
And if you are not happy, you have been trained to blame yourself, not your programming, not your cultural and inherited ideas and beliefs. What makes it even worse is the fact that most people are so brainwashed that they do not even realize how unhappy they are. Like the man in a dream who has no idea that he is dreaming. What are these false beliefs that block you from happiness? Here are some.
1st, you cannot be happy without the things that you are attached to and that you consider so precious. Charles, there is not a single moment in your life when you do not have everything that you need to be happy. Think of that for a minute. The reason why you are unhappy is because you are focusing on what you do not have rather than what you have right now. Another belief, happiness is in the future.
False again. Right here and now, you are happy, and you do not know it because your false beliefs and your distorted perceptions have got you caught up in fears, anxieties, attachments, conflicts, guilt, and a host of games that you are programmed to play. If you would see through this, you would realize that you are happy and do not even know it. Yet another belief, happiness will come if you manage to change the situation you are in and the people around you. Not true.

You foolishly squander so much energy trying to rearrange the world. If changing the world is your vocation in life, go right ahead and change it. But do not harbor the illusion that this is going to make you happy. What makes you happy or unhappy is not the world and the people around you, but the thinking in your head. As well search for an eagle\'s nest on the bed of an ocean, as search for happiness in the world outside of you.
So if it is happiness that you see, you can stop wasting your energy trying to cure your baldness or build up an attractive body or change your residence or job or community or lifestyle or even your personality. Do you realize that you could change every one of these things? You could have the finest looks and the most charming personality and the most pleasant of surroundings and still be unhappy. And deep down, you know that this is true, but still you waste your effort and energy trying to get what you know cannot make you happy. Another false belief.
If all your desires are fulfilled, you will be happy. Not true. In fact, it is these very desires and attachments that make you tense, frustrated, nervous, insecure, and fearful. Do they not? Make a list of your attachments and desires.
And to each of them say, deep down in my heart, I know that even after I have got you, I will not get happiness. And ponder on the truth of those words. The fulfillment of desire can, at the most, bring flashes of pleasure and excitement. Don\'t mistake that for happiness. Your own experience should have taught you that pleasure soon becomes wearisome, and excitement infallibly leads to border.
Whereas, one never tire of the thing called happiness. What then is happiness? Very few people know and no one can tell because happiness cannot be described. Can you describe light to people who have been sitting in darkness all their lives? Can you describe reality to someone in a dream?
Understand your darkness, and it will vanish. Then you will know what light is. Understand your nightmare for what it is and it will stop. Then you will wake up to reality. Understand your false beliefs and they will drop.

The exercises that you will find on these tapes are charged with power. But you will not experience that power if you merely listen to the exercises. No, you must do them. You must carry out the instructions that you find in them. And here that pause button will play a very important role.
Every time you hear something that appeals to you or each time you hear this sound signal you must press that pause button and make sure you do not release it till you have given yourself all the time you need to reflect, to carry out the instructions that you have heard. How long will that be? Well, 1 minute, 2 it may last 10 minutes, or even some hours or days. If you really want to benefit from these exercises and to have your life transformed by them, there is one thing you must clearly understand. What matters is not quantity, but depth, Not the number of exercises that you go through, not the number of thoughts or reflections or insights that you collect, but your ability to assimilate just one of them.
Hence the importance of the pause button on your tape recorder each time you use these tapes. The transformation of your life will not come from what you hear on these cassettes. It will come from what you personally discover through your own periods of silence and reflection. You will probably notice that each exercise has an introduction that tells you either what to expect from it or what it is all about. This is not so, however, in the final exercises that come under the heading of silence.
For what those exercises have to offer cannot be expressed or described in words. To find out what they are all about, you will have to do them for yourself. It is entirely likely that as you go deeper into the practice of awareness, you will reach a high degree of sensitivity, of alertness that is called silence. When you get there, these tapes will become a hindrance instead of a help. One only uses them, after all, the way one uses the stairs to get up to the terrace.
Once you are there, you must leave the stairs or you will not get an unimpeded view of the sky. When you sense that the time has come to leave the stairs, You will not have to push that pause button anymore because you will just stop listening to the tapes. Imagine that you retire to a lonely place in order to give yourself a priceless gift, the gift of solitude. For solitude is a time when we see things as they truly are in their reality and not as we imagine them to be, in the distortion of our minds. What kind of a place have you chosen to be in?
A mountain top? The bank of a river maybe? Or a lake, or a seashore, where you are all alone with sand and sky and sea. Give yourself a minute or 2 to imagine the place as vividly as possible. Now confront yourself with the following.
There are many little things in your life that have grown far too big simply because you haven\'t had the time and the solitude to stare them in the face and cut them down to size. Search for these phony big things now and see how large a slice of your life they are devouring. And see how small they are in reality. There are also some mighty big things in your life that you are probably neglecting because you are too rushed and

busy. Now that you have a little quiet and peace, Search for them and let them stand out in your vision.
Let solitude give them the place and the dimension that they deserve. Solitude is a time for making decisions. Are there any decisions that you are running away from? Are you escaping into work and social life to avoid them? Face them now.
But first get in touch with your surroundings, with the vastness of the sky or the rootedness of the trees, or the immensity of the ocean, or the stillness of the lake, or the soothing flow of the river, or the eternity of the stars. First, get in touch with some of these And then against this background, look at those decisions that need to be made or to be reconsidered. You couldn\'t do better, of course, than get in touch with the solitude of death. A 100 years hence, you will be in your grave. Put yourself there in fantasy if you dare to.
And look at those decisions from that time and place. The time has now come for you to make a decision about the kind of day that today will be. Will it be a day of doing? List the things that you really want to do today. Will it be a day of being?
A day in which you will make no effort to achieve or to get things done or to gather and possess, but just to be. Your life will not be fruitful unless you learn the art of lying fallow, the art of wasting time creatively. Stop to think what that means. So make a decision now on how much time you want to give, to play, to purposeless and unproductive interests, to silence, intimacy, rest. And ask yourself what you are going to taste today and to touch and to smell, and to listen to, and to see.
For it is thus that one brings depth and substance and creativity and energy to one\'s life. This exercise called the enlightenment will help you see that true change comes about paradoxically, not through effort and violence, but through understanding and acceptance. When you try to change what you dislike in yourself by fighting it, you merely push it underground. If you accept it, it will surface and evaporate. What you resist will stubbornly persist.
Consider the example of Jesus. He combines a keen desire for change with a loving acceptance of reality as it is. See how he sets himself the task of moving mountains, how he battles with exasperating foes. Yet even in his anger and his frustration, he is loving and accepting. Would you like to be like him?
Then start with the feelings that you dislike within yourself. Talk to each of them your anxieties, your fears, your depressions, your resentments. Talk in a loving, accepting kind of way and listen to what each of those feelings has to say. Keep talking and listening till you discover that while this feeling can do you harm, it also does you good. It is there for a benign purpose which you must now attempt to see.
Keep up this dialogue with those negative feelings till you feel a real acceptance of them. Acceptance incidentally does not mean approval or

resignation. If you are able to truly accept them, you will discover that you are no longer depressed about your depressions or angry with your anger or discouraged because of your discouragement or frightened of your fears or rejecting of your feelings of rejection, you can live with them in peace. For you have seen that god can use them for your good. Now do the same with some of the many other things about your life that you wish to change.
The disabilities and handicaps of your body, your personality defects and shortcomings, the external circumstances of your life, the happenings of the past, the persons with whom you live, the whole world as it is. Life, old age, sickness, death. Speak to them with love and with the consciousness that they somehow fit into God\'s plan. In doing this, you will undergo a transformation. Everything about you will be the same, the world, your family, your feelings, your body, even your neurosis.
But you will no longer be the same. You will be more loving now, more accepting of what is undesirable. More peaceful too for having come to see that violence cannot lead to lasting change. That is something achieved only by love and by understanding. Paradoxically, death is the finest teacher of the art of living as you will discover in this exercise called the essence.
Thousands of persons have died everywhere in the world in the past 24 hours. Imagine some of those deaths, the violent ones, the peaceful ones. Then you realize that the light of life is still burning in you. For how much longer would you like to have it burn? If you could choose the circumstances of your death, what would you choose?
What place? What time of day? What season of the year? Would you like to die awake or in your sleep? To die alone?
Or would you rather have people around you? What people? What kind of thoughts would you want to think? What kind of words would you want to pronounce when you are dying? Make a list now of the things you are going to miss the most in death.
Not just sublime and lofty things like love and beauty, but little things, like the smell of fresh baked bread or the patter of the rain, or the rough feel of a blanket, or the taste of coffee, or your favorite magazine. Call to mind a host of little things like these, and think of them with love and gratitude. And think how many of them you are likely to experience today and in the days ahead. When your life is coming to an end, how many experiences will you look back to and say, to have experienced that alone would have made my life worthwhile? And of how many of your actions will you say to have done this thing alone would have made my life worth living?
Relive and relish some of those experiences and actions. Then turn to god to express to him in silence or in words what is uppermost in your heart. The revelation is the title of the next exercise that gives you a clue into an element that is essential to all personal change. Imagine Christ standing here before you And expose yourself to him in silence. For his presence heals and creates and energizes and transforms.

Now ask him to give you as complete a list as possible of everything that he finds defective in you. Each instance of your selfishness. Each area that you have yet to grow in. Each thing in you that needs to change. As he speaks, you make a mental note of what he says.
You might even write it down if you think that this will help. Having done that, ask him which of these defects, in his opinion, calls for the most urgent attention. Allow yourself to go blank for a few seconds and imagine that he speaks. Be open to the fact that what he says may come as quite a surprise, something totally unexpected. Now turn your gaze within to see if you have the will to change this defect.
If you do not, then take this lack of will as the first defect that needs to be attended to and changed. How would you go about changing this or any other defect in you? You begin with the element that is the most essential of all in every change that you seek. Before you take a single step, it is vital that you hear Christ say these words to you. He says, as far as my love for you is concerned, it does not matter at all whether you change or not, for my love for you is unconditional.
Let those words sink into your heart and allow yourself to feel the full force of the impact that they will make on you. As far as my love for you is concerned, it does not matter whether you change or not, for my love for you is unconditional. Now imagine that you see Christ\'s power flooding into you. You feel strong. Where before you were afraid.
You feel relaxed where formerly you were tense. You become outgoing in places where you used to be withdrawn. See yourself going through the day or moving into a situation where this new power is called for. Now you are equipped with this power that you have received from Christ. Allow yourself to experience the difference.
Then end the exercise by resting in his loving presence in grateful adoration. There are vast unexplored treasures within each of us as you may discover in this exercise that is called the center. Imagine that you walk into a desert place. Spend some time exploring the surroundings, then settle down to contemplate your life. Observe how frequently you rush outside yourself to people, to work, to places, to things in search of strength and peace and meaningfulness in life because you constantly forget that the source of everything you seek is right here within your heart.
It is here that you must search. Are you aware that you, like every other person in the world, carry within you thoughts that have the power to bring you instant peace? Search for those thoughts. What are the thoughts that you fall back on when you have to face life\'s challenges with fortitude and courage. Bring them to mind right now.
There are thoughts that have the power to make you warm and gentle, to take away the hatred and the anger in your heart. Are you familiar with them? What are the thoughts that give meaning to your life? What are the thoughts that produce contentment, that give you joy? What are the thoughts that inspire you to service?

Before you leave your desert, you must recall the existence of another source within that does not need the aid of thoughts to give you everything you need. You can make an indirect attempt to reach this source by imagining a cave within your heart, a cave that is suffused with light. You walk into that cave, and the light invades your body as you enter. You can feel its rays create and energize and warm and heal. So sit within that cave in silent adoration, And let that light seep in through every pore of your being.
The exercise that follows will give you a taste of what it means to love god with your whole heart, your whole soul, with all your mind and all your strength. It is called the absolute. Imagine that you are standing in the presence of god, and you hear him say to you, give me your heart. You are puzzled. What could he mean?
Then you hear him speak again. He says, your heart is where your treasure is. Your treasures, here they are. Persons, places, occupations, things that are dear to you, experiences of the past that you hold on to and will not let go of, the hopes and dreams that you hold for the future. Pick each treasure up.
Say something to it, and place it gently in the presence of the Lord. How can you give these treasures to him? By understanding what follows. In the measure that your heart lies in the past, In the measure that you hold on to the past, you are fossilized and dead, for life is only in the present. So say goodbye to each of those past treasures, those golden yesterdays.
Speak to each of them gently, warmly, explaining how grateful you are that it came into your life. Then go on to say, you must leave now. You must go away. Because if you don\'t, my heart will never learn to love the present. So thank you.
Goodbye. Your heart is in the future too. How anxious you become for tomorrow. That anxiety leaves you little energy to fully live what is today. Make a list of those anxieties And say to each, let the will of god be done.
Observe what effect those words have on you, especially if you tell your heart that god can only will your good. Let the will of god be done. Your heart lies in your dreams, your ideals, your hopes, which make you live in future fiction and rob you from the present moment. To each of these you must say, let the will of god be done. Let him dispose of you as he sees fit.
And as you say those words, watch them glide away and disappear. Your task is to live wholeheartedly in the now, leaving whatever is to be in the hands of God. Having reclaimed that portion of your heart that was captured by the future and the past, you must now liberate it from your present treasures. Think of each of the persons you love and treasure. To each of them, say tenderly, you are so precious to me, but you are not my life.

I have a life to live. I have a destiny to follow that is separate from you. The words may seem hard at first, and they may hurt, but they will also heal for the other words of truth itself. You are so precious, but you are not my life. I have a life to live, a destiny to meet that is separate from you.
Now think of each of the places, the things that you are attached to, and say, precious you are, but not my life. My life and my destiny are separate from you. You are now ready to take the boldest step of all. You are ready now to say that sentence to the things that seem to constitute your very being. Your health, your ideologies, your good name, your reputation.
Say it even to your life, which must someday succumb to death. Say, how desirable you are, how precious. But you are not my essence. You are not my life. My life, my destiny are separate from you.
Having passed in review all of the things that you love and treasure, you stand at last alone before the lord. To him, you make the offering of your heart. How do you do that? You say, you, lord, are my life. You are my destiny.
This exercise called the heart is a good example of what fantasy can do when used effectively. Imagine that you walk into a church at night for adoration of the blessed sacrament. The candles on the altar are the only source of light in that church. You rest your eyes on the host that stands out clear and white against the darkness. The host acts like a magnet for it draws your eyes and your being towards itself as to the center.
Most of your life, you focus on the outer surface of things. But here, you are gazing into the very heart of every being, the very center of the world. As you keep looking at the host, a silence falls upon you. All thinking quietens down and fades away. The silence of that host seems to seep into your body, and from there, it spreads throughout the church.
So everything inside of you and around becomes still and peaceful and quiet. Then as you continue to look, the host begins to send out rays of light that enter you, And you are grateful for you know that they will flood your mind and your unconscious, cleansing you from everything that is self centered and perverse and grasping and afraid. And while the darkness of the church is undisturbed, The darkness in your heart is put to flight, and all of you is made transparent. The rays now bring with them a holy energy that soaks into your body and fortifies your spirit to face up to the challenges of life. And with this energy, a fire spreads all over you to purify your heart of all bitterness, anger, hatred, resentment, and to give you the power to love.
So you avidly expose your heart to this life producing sun that shines out at the center of that dark and silent church. The next exercise, the surrender. Begin by seeking silence. To do this, come home to yourself. That means come to the present.

Ask yourself, where am I right now? What am I doing? What am I thinking? What am I sensing in my body? What is the quality of my breathing?
Silence cannot be induced or sought directly. What you must do is seek awareness, and silence will appear. If you now wish to communicate with god within this silence, imagine that you surrender, that you let go each time you breathe out, That each outgoing breath is your way of saying yes to god. Yes to what you are today, to the kind of person god has made you, the kind of person you have become. Yes to the whole of your past.
Yes to whatever lies in store for you in the future. Let go each time you breathe out with the awareness that all will be well. Let all anxieties cease, and let peace take over. For in his hands, in his will, is our peace. The next exercise, the sunrise suggests a practical way of loving yourself and the whole of creation.
Become aware of all the sounds around you and of your surroundings, the grounds, the trees, this room, the furniture. Then become aware of your body and your heartbeat and your breathing. Now each time you breathe out, pronounce the name of Jesus slowly, peacefully. Imagine that despite the brightness of the sun, there is a darkness at the heart of every being that only grace can vanish. To exterminate that darkness, you pronounce the name over each part of your being that is in need of healing.
Your heart, your mind, your limb, Your senses. And as you do this, imagine that you see each part become aglow and alive with grace. Then create an atmosphere of grace all around you in which to live and move and have your being. How would you do this? Begin with the walls and the furniture of your room.
Make them humanness by pronouncing the name of Jesus over each of them. Then say the name over each of the things that you are going to use today. Your books and pen, your clothes, your shoes, the house, the dining room, its furniture, the cutlery, the crockery, the kitchen, its utensils. The food you will eat, the water you will drink and wash in. The grounds, the trees, the birds.
As you\'re doing this, you must imagine that all of them become filled with grace and illumined by the name. Now pronounce his name over every person you will meet today and see them glow with health and grace as you do this. Finally, recite the name over the earth and all its peoples, over the sun, the moon, the universe, and the whole wide immensity of space. If you really want to have your life transformed, there is one thing you must clearly understand. What matters is not quantity but depth.
Not the number of exercises that you go through, not the number of thoughts or reflections or insights that you collect, But your ability to assimilate the transformation of your life will come from what you personally discover through your own periods of silence and reflection. It is entirely likely that as you go deeper into the practice of awareness, you will reach a high degree of sensitivity, of alertness that is called silence. When you get there, exercises will become a hindrance

instead of a help. One only uses them after all. The way one uses the stairs to get up to the terrace.
Once you are there, you must leave the stairs or you will not get an unimpeded view of the sky. What does it feel like to see the world with the eyes of a mystic, to love the world with the heart of a saint? This exercise will give you some idea. Do you know that at every minute you have everything you need to be happy? The reason so many people are not happy is because they are focusing on what they do not have rather than on what they have.
This exercise, the awakening, will show you how to avoid this and thus find happiness everywhere all the time. Make believe that you are paralyzed from the shoulders down. Imagine your surroundings as vividly as you can. Where are you? Whom are you living with?
And notice what your thoughts and feelings are. See the changes that paralysis has brought about in your work and your profession, in your relationships, your self image, your attitude to yourself? What changes has it brought about in your prayer and your relationship with God or in your views of life? Observe yourself reacting, for example, to the daily news. Observe your attitudes and values regarding work and time and achievement and love and growth and life and progress and death.
Are your attitudes still the same or have they changed? Now contemplate an average day. From the moment you wake up in the morning till you fall asleep at night. What is your first thought on waking up? Look at yourself as you go through the daily programme your meals, your toilet needs, your work, your therapy, your entertainment, your prayer.
And as you do this, be in touch with your thoughts and feelings. At night, before you fall asleep, you dedicate some minutes to thanksgiving. You are thankful for the gift of speech. You can express your needs and feelings. You can relate to others.
You can even help them. You have reason to be grateful indeed. You are grateful for the gift of hearing. You can hear the sound of music and the song of birds and human voices. How fortunate you are!
And sight! You can look at flowers and trees and the stars at night. And you can gaze into the faces of your friends. Soon your heart will be full of gratitude for taste and smell and touch, for thought and memory, for fantasy and feeling. How very very much there is to be grateful for.
And now the time has come to be grateful for paralysis itself. Look at the blessings it has brought you and keep looking till you can see it as a gift. If you can bring yourself to do this, you will have tasted a moment of the purest mysticism, namely of an acceptance of everything that is. Now think of something in your life that you resent, something that you dislike and resist. It may be a physical defect or an illness or an unavoidable situation or some unpleasant circumstance that you live in or some happening of the past or a person.

And step by step attempt to do with this thing what you did with your paralysis. So that, without relinquishing your desire and your efforts to get rid of it if possible or to change it, you bring yourself to gratitude for it, Gratitude for everything, for every single thing. This exercise called the enlightenment will help you see that true change comes about paradoxically, not through effort and violence, but through understanding and acceptance. When you try to change what you dislike in yourself by fighting it, you merely push it underground. If you accept it, it will surface and evaporate.
What you resist will stubbornly persist. Consider the example of Jesus. He combines a keen desire for change with a loving acceptance of reality as it is. See how he sets himself the task of moving mountains, how he battles with exasperating foes. Yet, even in his anger and his frustration, he is loving and accepting.
Would you like to be like him? Then start with the feelings that you dislike within yourself. Talk to each of them your anxieties, your fears, your depressions, your resentments. Talk in a loving, accepting kind of way, and listen to what each of those feelings has to say. Keep talking and listening till you discover that while this feeling can do you harm, it also does you good.
It is there for a benign purpose, which you must now attempt to see. Keep up this dialogue with those negative feelings till you feel a real acceptance of them. Acceptance incidentally does not mean approval or resignation. If you are able to truly accept them, you will discover that you are no longer depressed about your depressions or angry with your anger or discouraged because of your discouragement or frightened of your fears or rejecting of your feelings of rejection, you can live with them in peace, for you have seen that god can use them for your good. Now do the same with some of the many other things about your life that you wish to change.
The disabilities and handicaps of your body, your personality defects and shortcomings, the external circumstances of your life, the happenings of the past, the persons with whom you live, the whole world as it is. Life, old age, sickness, death. Speak to them with love and with the consciousness that they somehow fit into God\'s plan. In doing this, you will undergo a transformation. Everything about you will be the same, the world, your family, your feelings, your body, even your neurosis.
But you will no longer be the same. You will be more loving now, more accepting of what is undesirable. More peaceful too for having come to see that violence cannot lead to lasting change. That is something achieved only by love and by understanding. The next exercise, the vision.
Sit on the bank of a river in reality or in fantasy and watch the water flow. If you know how to look without reflection, the river will speak not to your brain but to your heart, And it will create a silence in your spirit and a wisdom which your conscious mind could never grasp. Or sit at an airport and see the crowds go by. They come within your vision and

disappear never to be seen again. Or watch the leaves fall from a tree, and see them decompose and turn to dust.
Light a lamp and look at the flame the way you looked at the river. Or light an incense stick and watch the smoke lose itself in the atmosphere. Or stand at your window and look at the rain. Observe the special mood the rain creates in you. No reflections now, just look, observe, feel.
You see 1 raindrop stand separate and apart, then it is jerked forward and pulled away. Only look and creation will speak to you. What will it speak of? Of life and death and love and self and God. Look, observe, watch, become aware.
That is all you need to do. Finally lie on your back with arms outstretched And imagine that you let go and are carried onward just like the raindrops and the leaves and the smoke of the incense stick for you, like them, are a particle of the universe. So, let go. Lose yourself and flow away. The great Chinese sage, Laozi, says, silence is the great revelation.
I want you now to discover the revelation that silence brings. To take in the revelation that silence offers, you must first attain silence. And this is not easy let us attempt to do this I want you to close your eyes now and take up a comfortable posture. I am going to invite you now to keep silence for a certain period of time. During that time, you will try to attain silence as total a silence as possible of heart and mind.
Having attained it, you will expose yourself to whatever revelation it brings. Alright. That will do. Think now what it was you did to attain silence. And how successful your attempts were.
What kind of a silence did you get into? And what did you think and feel during the exercise? The experience of people who attempt this exercise is infinitely varied. Most people discover to their surprise that silence is something they are simply not accustomed to do, That no matter what they do, they cannot still the constant wandering of their mind or quieten an emotional turmoil that they feel within themselves, and others feel themselves approaching the frontiers of silence and panic. They tend to withdraw, for silence can be a frightening experience.
There is no reason to be discouraged. Even those wandering thoughts of yours, those distractions are quite a revelation, are they not? The fact that your mind wanders, isn\'t that a revelation about yourself? It is not enough to know this. You must take time to experience this wandering of your mind and the type of wandering that it indulges in how revealing that is is it not and here\'s something to encourage you the fact that you were aware of your mental wanderings or of your inner turmoil or of your inability to be still shows you that you have some degree of silence within you, a sufficient amount of silence to be aware of all of this.
How easily people assume that if they had lived in the time of the messiah, they would have recognized him at once. Are you one of those people? You might have second thoughts after going through this exercise

called the stranger. When the messiah came, his people failed to recognize him. Are you aware that he is still around?
When did you see him last? Think of the times you loved someone or the times someone loved you. That was when god became incarnate once again. Think of some learning, some knowledge that liberated you and set you free. That was a time when, all unknown to you perhaps, god\'s word was being revealed again.
And every time your heart flared up at the sight of oppression and injustice, each time your hidden depths were lit up in a flash and your defenses were exposed, it was really the prophet\'s burning gaze that laid bare the evil and the sin. When did you last experience inner healing? It was the Christ reaching out and touching you. And do you know that when you felt frustration, darkness, pain, he was present, struggling in his passion? Do you remember the inspiration you felt when you listened to a speech or read a book or watched a movie?
It was really the voice of the master that you were hearing calling to discipleship. And in your prayerful silences, was not the priest supreme, bringing god and you together? Search your recent past to identify these grace filled moments, and trust that he will visit you again today. Now imagine that God anoints you as messiah. What are your reactions to this startling choice of his?
See yourself fulfill this role quietly, unobtrusively. For whether you know it or not, each time you speak, each time you act, god intervenes in human history. See him intervening through you in each event that is likely to take place today. The mantra or the recitation of a holy word or phrase is a source of strength and peace to many. If you have one of these, you will find profit in this exercise called the volcano.
People who set out to find meaning in their lives, people in search of love and peace and joy frequently turn to gurus and books and friends for help. If you are one of these people, you must know that no external source can give you what you are looking for. You must go within yourself to find it. Here is one way to do it. Imagine that you make a journey to the deepest level of your being.
Everything inside is dark and quiet. You find no trace of that interior light that the mystics speak of. When you reach the very center, you seem to see an upward spurting flame, the symbol of a holy fire of which you are generally quite unconscious. And there is a rhythm to the spurting of that flame. Then you seem to hear a word or a mantra being chanted to that rhythm, a word like the name of Jesus, or a mantra like, my God and my all or Abba Father or come Holy Spirit or whatever.
Listen attentively till you can hear the chant. If you have heard the mantra on some firmer inward journey, then imagine that you hear it again or that you hear some other word or sentence at this time. Once you have heard the mantra, chant it in your heart. Imagine that with each recitation, a deep mysterious peace comes from the very center of your being and spreads till it invades the whole of you. The peace spreads

through every part of your body, your stomach, your head and neck, your arms and legs, till no part of your body remains untouched by it.
Now every time you say the holy word, the peace begins to deepen. It is as if with every recitation you let go. You relax your being into the hands of God. Now a quiet strength begins to take hold of you each time you say the mantra. An energy that spreads all over you together with a sense of confidence.
A sense of, I can do all things in him who strengthens me. And gradually, all anxieties begin to fade. You see yourself in situations that you formally avoided from timidity and fear. The mantra makes you confident and strong. To end the exercise, imagine you go down once again to the very center of your being to seek the warmth that comes from that interior fire and to rest in the holy strength that your mantra gives you.
The exercise that follows will give you a taste of what it means to love god with your whole heart, your whole soul, with all your mind and all your strength. It is called the absolute. Imagine that you are standing in the presence of god, and you hear him say to you, give me your heart. You are puzzled. What could he mean?
Then you hear him speak again. He says, your heart is where your treasure is. Your treasures, here they are. Persons, places, occupations, things that are dear to you, experiences of the past that you hold on to and will not let go of, the hopes and dreams that you hold for the future. Pick each treasure up.
Say something to it, and place it gently in the presence of the Lord. How can you give these treasures to him? By understanding what follows. In the measure that your heart lies in the past, in the measure that you hold on to the past, you are fossilized and dead. For life is only in the present.
So say goodbye to each of those past treasures, those golden yesterdays. Speak to each of them gently, warmly, explaining how grateful you are that it came into your life. Then go on to say, you must leave now. You must go away because if you don\'t, my heart will never learn to love the present. So thank you.
Goodbye. Your heart is in the future too, how anxious you become for tomorrow. That anxiety leaves you little energy to fully live what is today. Make a list of those anxieties and say to each, let the will of god be done. Observe what effect those words have on you, especially if you tell your heart that god can only will your good.
Let the will of god be done. Your heart lies in your dreams, your ideals, your hopes, which make you live in future fiction and rob you from the present moment. To each of these, you must say, let the will of God be done. Let him dispose of you as he sees fit. And as you say those words, watch them glide away and disappear.

Your task is to live wholeheartedly in the now, leaving whatever is to be in the hands of god. Having reclaimed that portion of your heart that was captured by the future and the past, you must now liberate it from your present treasures. Think of each of the persons you love and treasure. To each of them, say tenderly, you are so precious to me, but you are not my life. I have a life to live.
I have a destiny to follow that is separate from you. The words may seem hard at first, and they may hurt, but they will also heal. For the other words of truth itself. You are so precious, but you are not my life. I have a life to live, a destiny to meet that is separate from you.
Now think of each of the places, the things that you are attached to, and say, precious you are, but not my life. My life and my destiny are separate from you. You are now ready to take the boldest step of all. You are ready now to say that sentence to the things that seem to constitute your very being. Your health, your ideologies, your good name, your reputation.
Say it even to your life, which must someday succumb to death. Say, how desirable you are, how precious, But you are not my essence. You are not my life. My life, my destiny are separate from you. Having passed in review all of the things that you love and treasure, you stand at last alone before the lord.
To him, you make the offering of your heart. How do you do that? You say, you, lord, are my life. You are my destiny. There are vast unexplored treasures within each of us.
As you may discover in this exercise that is called the center. Imagine that you walk into a desert place. Spend some time exploring the surroundings, then settle down to contemplate your life. Observe how frequently you rush outside yourself to people, to work, to places, to things in search of strength and peace and meaningfulness in life because you constantly forget that the source of everything you seek is right here within your heart. It is here that you must search.
Are you aware that you, like every other person in the world, carry within you thoughts that have the power to bring you instant peace? Search for those thoughts. What are the thoughts that you fall back on when you have to face life\'s challenges with fortitude and courage. Bring them to mind right now. There are thoughts that have the power to make you warm and gentle, to take away the hatred and the anger in your heart.
Are you familiar with them? What are the thoughts that give meaning to your life? What are the thoughts that produce contentment, that give you joy? What are the thoughts that inspire you to service? Before you leave your desert, you must recall the existence of another source within that does not need the aid of thoughts to give you everything you need.
You can make an indirect attempt to reach this source by imagining a cave within your heart, a cave that is suffused with light. You walk into that cave, and the light invades your body as you enter. You can feel its rays create and energize and warm and heal. So sit within that cave in silent

adoration, and let that light seep in through every pore of your being. Transformation only comes when we cease to delude ourselves and we dare to see the evil in our heart.
That is the theme of this exercise called the darkness. You probably think of yourself as quite a decent person, good hearted and respected with minor sins and failings until it dawns on you that the greatest sinners are the ones who sin in ignorance. Look at the damage that loving parents inflict on helpless children with the best will in the world. Look at the cruelty one finds in sincerely religious people. Look at those fair minded Pharisees while they assess the evidence against Jesus and consider it their duty to do away with him, convinced that they are doing a service to God and to their holy religion.
Does it frighten you to think that you may be suffering from the same sickness of the chief priests and the Pharisees? They were so certain of themselves, so convinced that they were right, so closed to other viewpoints and to change. Now think of people whom you know to be like that. And then think of yourself. The Pharisees were given to judging.
People to them were either good or bad. And there was never any good in someone who their prejudice said was bad. Now think of people you know who seem to be like that. Think of yourself. Make a list of the so called bad people whom you know.
Who knows if at heart, they are not far better than you are? The Pharisees were men of the establishment. They feared to rock the boat. Are you like that too? The Pharisees loved power.
They would force you to be good for your own sake. They could not leave you free. Now think of yourself. Finally, the Pharisee conformed. He might see this accused person before him as not being guilty, but he lacked the courage to stand up to his peers and speak his mind.
Are you too one of those who fear to give offense, to disagree, one of those who have a compulsive need to please other people. Maybe you are no great improvement on the men who killed the savior. When you realize this, all you can say is, lord, I am a sinner. Be merciful to me. Then you hear him answer gently, you are precious to my heart, my child.
Whatever could he mean by that? Make use of those eyes of his to find out exactly what it is he sees in you. That even while he knows your sinfulness, he says, you are precious to my heart. Then with those same eyes, look at the so called sinners of this world, the Hitlers and the Stalans of our times. Look at people whom you dislike, people whom you reject.
Maybe you need those eyes of his to bring you to compassion and to save you from the Pharisee that lurks in each of us. Transformation. Most human beings will never understand how much they miss because they attempt to fill their emptiness with distractions, noise, entertainment, company. True happiness is only discovered when one has discovered the joys of solitude and aloneness. The exercise that follows may help you find this.

It is called the desert. Look in imagination at Jesus in his agony on the night before he died. You are standing close to him, and you watch him reaching out for human help, but nobody can reach him now. He is entirely on his own before he dies. Contrast this scene with the warmth and closeness of the supper room where he had been a little while before with his friends.
As you watch these contrasting scenes, you realize that you will ultimately come to terms with god, with destiny, and with yourself only when you dare to be alone. Would you like to give yourself a taste of what it means to be alone? Then imagine that you are living in a desert. You do not have a single book with you. No occupation with which to distract yourself.
And you never hear the sound of a human voice. For a whole day. No. For a week. Or better still, for months.
Observe how you react when you are thrown back on your own resources, when you are stripped of the 2 things that you ordinarily use as an escape from looking at yourself, namely work and human company. Or try this. Imagine you are in a solitary prison cell. The walls are soundproof. The room is narrow.
There is a dim bulb that lights the room all day night. Never the glimpse of a human face or of any living thing or of sun or sky. Never a sound of human voice or nature for weeks, for months on end. And you do not know when it will end. Or here is something else you might do to give yourself a taste of what it means to be alone.
Imagine you have lapsed into a coma. You can hear the words of people. You can feel their touch, but you cannot reach them. Stay with any one of these scenes. The desert, the prison, the coma, for quite a while.
Then return to life, to your worries and your work, to your comforts and attachments, to the world of human beings. As you do this, you begin to realize that you are not the same for you have been exposed to the rigors of aloneness. Something has snapped within you. Something has changed. And every now and then your heart returns to Jesus in his agony.
You watch him as he grapples with his God and with his destiny. And the sight seems to give you a wisdom that thinking never could, no matter how deep and profound the thinking. So you just linger there in the garden and look.

This tape was recorded by Father Dimelo himself shortly before he died. 1 of his friends had requested that he record some of these exercises just as he had previously recorded sadhana and wellsprings. So he simply took his tape recorder into the garden at the Sadhana Institute in India, and in the midst of distant sounds of birds singing and children playing, he did what had been asked of him. The technical quality of this cassette is not perfect by any means, but it is included as the 6th tape in this series of cassettes called Love Springs because it was recorded by Tony himself, a final testament to his friends before he died. Foxes have holes, and the birds of the air, their nests, but I have nowhere to rest my head.
Here is a mistake that most people make in their relationships with others. They try to build a steady nesting place in the ever moving stream of life. Think of the people whose love you desire. Do you want to be important to these people, to be special and make a difference to in to their lives? Do you want them to care for you and be concerned about you in a special way?
If you do, you are foolishly inviting them to restrict your freedom for their benefit to control your behavior, your growth, and development so that it will suit their interest. You are even inviting them to reserve you for themselves. It is as if these people said to you, if you want to be special to us, then you must meet our conditions. Because the moment you cease to live up to our expectations, you will cease to be special to us. You wanted to be special to someone, didn\'t you?
So you must pay a price in lost freedom. You must dance to the other person\'s tune just as you demand that other persons dance to yours if you if they want to be special to you. Pause now to ask yourself if it is worth paying so much for so little. Imagine you say to someone whose special love you want, leave me free to be myself, to think my thoughts, to indulge my tastes, to follow my inclination, to behave in ways that I decide are to my liking. The moment you say those words, you will understand that you are asking for the impossible.
To ask to be special to someone means, essentially, to be bound to the task of making yourself pleasing to that person, and therefore, to lose your freedom. Take all the time you need to real to understand this. Maybe now you are ready to say, I would rather have my freedom than your love. If you could either have company in prison or walk the earth in freedom all alone, which would you choose? Now say to this person, I leave you free to be yourself, to think your thoughts, to indulge your tastes, follow your inclinations, behave in any way that you decide is to your liking.
The moment you say that, you will observe 1 of 2 things. Either your heart will resist those words, and you will be exposed for the clinger and the exploiter that you are. So now is the time to examine your false belief that without this person you cannot live or cannot be happy. All your heart will pronounce the words sincerely. And in that very instant, all control, manipulation, exploitation, possessiveness, jealousy will drop.

I leave you free to be yourself, to think your thoughts, indulge your tastes, follow your inclinations, behave in ways that you decide are to your liking. Say those words again, and you will notice something else. The person automatically ceases to be special and important to you when you are able to honestly say those words, and he or she becomes important in themselves. The way a sunset or a symphony are lovely in themselves. The way a tree is special in itself and not for the fruit or the shade that it can offer you.
Your beloved then will then belong not to you, but to everyone or to no one, like the sunrise and the tree. Test it by saying those words again. I leave you free to be yourself, to think your thoughts, indulge your tastes, follow your inclinations, behave in ways that you decide are to your liking. In saying those words, you have set yourself free. You are now ready to love.
For when you cling, what you offer the other is not love, but a chain by which both you and your beloved are bound. Love can only exist in freedom. The true lover seeks the good of his beloved, which requires especially the liberation of the beloved from the lover. The master said, go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring me in the poor, the crippled, the blind, and the lame. Think of someone whom you dislike, someone you generally avoid, because his or her presence generates negative feelings in you.
Imagine yourself to be in this person\'s presence now and watch the negative emotions arise. You are quite possibly in the presence of someone who is poor, crippled, blind, or ill. Now understand that if you invite this person, this beggar from the streets and alleys into your house, that is into your presence, he or she will make you a gift that none of your charming, pleasant friends can make you rich as they are. He or she is going to reveal yourself to you and to reveal human nature to you. A revelation as precious as any found in scripture.
For what will it profit you to know all the scriptures if you do not know yourself? The revelation that this beggar is going to bring is going to widen your heart till there is room in it for every living creature. Can any person make you a finer gift than that? Now take a look at yourself reacting negatively and understand the following truth. You are not in charge of this situation.
This situation is in charge of you. That is the first revelation. With it comes another. The way to be in charge of this situation is to be in charge of yourself, which you are not. How does one take charge of oneself?
All you have to do is to understand that there are people in the world who, if they were in your place, would not be negatively affected by this person. They would be in charge of the situation above it, not subject to it as you are. Therefore, your negative feelings are caused not by this person as you mistakenly think, but by your programming. Here is the 3rd and major revelation. Your negative feelings are caused not by this person, but by your programming.

See what happens when you really understand this. Having received these revelations about yourself listen to this revelation concerning human nature. This behavior, this trait in the other person that causes you to react negatively, do you realize that he or she is not responsible for it? You can only hold on to your negative feelings when you mistakenly believe that he or she is free and aware and, therefore, responsible. But whoever did evil in freedom and awareness?
The ability to do evil or to be evil comes not from freedom, but from sickness. It is not a privilege, but a disease. For it implies a lack of
consciousness and sensitivity. Those who are truly free cannot sin as cannot sin. This poor person here in front of you is crippled, blind, lame, not responsible and free as you so foolishly thought.
God
Understand this truth. Look at it steadfastly and deeply, and you will see your negative emotions transform into understanding and compassion. Suddenly, you have room in your heart for someone who was formally consigned to the streets and the alleys by others and by you. And with this comes yet another revelation, namely the understanding that whereas you thought that it was this person who was crippled and handicapped. You now realize that it is you who were crippled by your programming.
It is you who were blind in not understanding human nature as it really is. Now you will realize that this beggar came to your home with an arms for you. The widening of your heart in compassion and the release of your spirit in freedom. That was the arms. Where before you used to be controlled, these persons had the power to create negative emotions in you and make you go out of your way to avoid them.
Now you have the freedom to avoid no one and to go anywhere. You may still avoid this person, but no longer because he or she generates negative emotions in you, but rather for other reasons. You may be busy. You may prefer the company of others. When you see this, you will notice how to the feeling of compassion in your heart has been added the feeling of gratitude to this beggar, whom you now see as your benefactor.
And another new unaccustomed feeling, you actually feel a desire to seek out the company of these growth producing crippled people the way someone who has learned to swim seeks water. Because each time you are with them, where before you used to feel the oppression and tyranny of negative feelings, you now actually feel an ever expanding compassion and the freedom of the skies. And you can barely recognize yourself as you see yourself going out eagerly to the streets and alleys of the town in obedience to the master\'s injunction to bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind, and the lame. Master, they said to him, we know that you pay deference to no one and teach in all honesty. Look at your life and see how you have filled its emptiness with people.
As a result, they have a stranglehold on you. They control your behavior by their approval and disapproval. They hold the power to ease your loneliness with their company, to send your spirit soaring with their praise, to bring you down to the depths with their criticism and rejection. Take a look at yourself spending almost every waking minute of

your day placating and pleasing people, whether they be living or dead. You live by their norms, conform to their standards, seek their company, desire their love.
You dread their ridicule. You long for their applause. You meekly submit to the guilt they lay upon you. You are terrified to go against the fashion in the way you dress or speak or act or even think. And observe how you are just as dependent on them and enslaved by them when you control them as when they control you.
For when you grip an object tightly, you have gained control of the object but are also controlled by it, for you have lost the use of your hand. People have become so much a part of your being that you cannot even imagine living a life that is unaffected by them. As a matter of fact, they have convinced you that if you ever broke free of them, you would become an island. Solitary, bleak, unloving. But the exact opposite is true.
How can you love someone whom you are a slave to? How can you love someone whom you cannot live without? You can only desire, need, depend, fear, and be controlled. Love is found only in fearlessness and freedom. How can you achieve this freedom?
By means of a 2 pronged attack on
is impossible to be dependent, to
the folly of your dependents. But
person whose drug is people. You must cultivate activities that you love.
your dependency. 1st, awareness. For it be a slave, when you constantly observe awareness may not be enough for a
You must discover work that you do not merely for its utility, but for itself. Think of something that you love to do for itself, whether it succeeds or not, whether you are praised for it or not, whether you you are loved and rewarded for it or not, whether people know about it and are grateful to you for it or not. How many activities can you count in your life that you engage in simply because they delight you and grip your soul? Find them out. Cultivate them.
For they are your passport to freedom and to love. Here too, you have probably been brainwashed into the following consumeristic way of thinking. To enjoy a poem or a landscape or a piece of music is a waste of time. You must produce a poem or a composition or a work of art. Even to produce it is of little value in itself.
Your work must be known. What good is it if no one ever knows it? And even if it is known, that means nothing if it is not applauded and praised by people. Your work achieves maximum value if it becomes popular and sells. So you are right back again into the arms and the control of people.
The value of an action, according to them, is not in its being loved and enjoyed for itself, but in its success. The royal road to reality, trodden by the mystic, does not pass through the world of people. It passes through the world of action, which is engaged in for itself without an eye to success or to gain. Nonprofit action. This is what brings contact with reality.

Contrary to popular belief, the cure for lovelessness and loneliness is not found in company, but in contact with reality. The moment you touch reality, you will know what freedom is, what love is, freedom from people, and so the ability to love people. You must not think that for love to arise in your heart, you must first meet people. That would not be love at all, but attraction or compassion. Rather, it is love that first springs in the heart through your contact with the real.
Not love for any particular person or thing, but the reality of love, an attitude, a disposition of love. For love in itself has no object. Love simply is. It may be activated, but it is not created by the presence of others. It arises unprovoked within the heart, then radiates outwards to the world of things and people.
If you desire that this love should exist in your life, you must break loose from your inward dependence on people by becoming aware of it and by engaging in activities that you love to do for themselves. Only then will you attain the freedom that is fearlessness and love, which is the total absence of fear. Of what use is it to you to gain the whole world if you suffer the loss of your soul? Recall the kind of feeling you have when someone praises you, when you are approved, accepted, applauded. And contrast that with the kind of feeling that arises within you when you look at the sunset or the sunrise or nature in general or when you read a book or watch a movie that you thoroughly enjoy.
Get the taste of this feeling and contrast it with the first, namely, the one that was generated within you when you were praised. Understand that the first type of feeling comes from self glorification, self promotion. It is a worldly feeling. The second comes from self fulfillment, a soul feeling. Here is another contrast.
Recall the kind of feeling you have when you succeed, when you have made it, when you get to the top, when you win a bet or a game or an argument. And contrast it with the kind of feeling you get when you really enjoy the job you are doing, when you are absorbed in the action that you are currently engaged in. And once again, notice the qualitative difference between the worldly feeling and the soul feeling. Yet another contrast. Remember what you felt like when you had power?
You were the boss. People looked up to you, took orders from you, or when you were popular. And contrast that worldly feeling with the feeling of intimacy, companionship, the times you thoroughly enjoyed in the company of a friend or with a group in which there was fun and laughter. Having done this, attempt to understand the true nature of worldly feelings, namely the feelings of self promotion, self glorification. They are not natural.
They were invented by your society and your culture to make you productive and to make you controllable. These feelings do not produce the nourishment and happiness that is produced when one contemplates nature or enjoys the company of one\'s friends or one\'s work. They were meant to produce thrills, excitement, and emptiness. Having reflected on this, observe observe yourself in the course of a day or of a week and

think how many actions of yours are performed, how many activities engaged in that are uncontaminated by the desire for these thrills, these excitements that only produce emptiness? The desire for attention, approval, fame, popularity, success, or power.
And take a look at the people around you. Is there a single one of them who has not become addicted to these worldly feelings? A single one who is not controlled by them, hungering for them, spending every minute of his or her waking life, consciously or unconsciously seeking them. When you see this, you will understand how people attempt to gain the world and, in the process, lose their souls. For they live empty soulless lives.
And here is a parable of life for you to ponder on. A tourist bus is passing through gorgeously beautiful country. Lakes and mountains and green fields and rivers. But the shades of the bus are down. And the tourists do not have the slightest idea of what lies beyond the windows of the bus.
And all the time of their journey is spent in squabbling over who will have the seat of honor in the bus, who will be applauded, who will be well considered. And so they remain till journey\'s end. But as for you, you must call no one your teacher. You can get someone to teach you things mechanical or scientific or mathematical, like algebra or English or riding a cycle or operating a computer. But in the things that really matter, life, love, truth, God, No one can teach you a thing.
All they can give you is formulas. If you take those formulas, you will have not reality, but reality filtered through the mind of someone else. Not truth, but someone else\'s version of it. This applies even to your own formulas, which will offer you not reality, but reality filtered through a mind conditioned by past experience. All that the mind can offer is concepts that make sense to the mind.
Whereas reality makes no sense to the mind at all. It is beyond the thought. It is a mystery, and so it must be grasped, if it can be grasped at all, beyond the thought and beyond formulas. Look at it this way. There have been moments in your life when you had an experience that you know you will have to carry with you to your grave because you are quite unable to find words.
Because there simply are no words in human language that can communicate the experience to anyone. Think of the kind of feeling that came upon you when you saw a bird fly over a lake or observed the blade of grass peeping out of a crack in the wall or heard the cry of a baby at night or suddenly sensed the loveliness of a naked human body or gazed at a corpse lying cold and rigid in a coffin. You may try to communicate the experience inadequately, distortedly through music or poetry or painting. But in your heart, you know that no one will ever comprehend exactly what it was you saw and sensed. This is something you are quite powerless to express, much less teach to another human being.
Now that is exactly how powerless a master feels when you ask him to teach you about life or God or reality. All he can give you is a set of

words strung together into a formula. But of what use are those words? Imagine a bus with its shades down filled with tourists who don\'t see or hear or touch or smell a thing of the strange exotic land that they are passing through While all the time their guide chatters away, giving them what he thinks is a vivid description of the world outside. The only sights and smells and sounds they will experience will come from the images that his words create in their heads.
And let\'s suppose that when the bus stops, he sends them forth with formulas about what they can expect to see and experience. Their experience will be limited, conditioned, distorted, contaminated by those formulas. And they will perceive not the reality that is there before them, but the reality that the guide wants them to see. They will look selectively, or they will project formulas onto the windows through which they perceive. So all they are likely to see is their own formulas.
So what can teachers do? They can bring to your notice what is unreal. They cannot show you the real. They can destroy your formulas. They cannot they cannot make you see what the formula is pointing to.
They can indicate your error. They cannot put you in possession of the truth. Their formulas can, at the most, point in the direction of reality. They cannot tell you what it is or what to see. You will have to walk out there alone and discover it for yourself.
To walk alone, that means to walk away from every formula. The ones your family and your culture gave you, the ones you learned from books, the ones that you yourself invented in the light of your past experiences. That is probably the most terrifying thing a human being can undertake to do. Expose himself to reality, unprotected, unguided by any formula. To walk away from the world and into the desert as the prophets and mystics did is not to walk away from human company, but to walk away from human formulations.
Then even though you are surrounded by people, you are truly and utterly alone. What an awesome solitude. That solitude, that aloneness is silence. It is only in this silence that you will see. And the moment you see the sheer concreteness and wholeness and flu fluidity of what you see will cause you to abandon every concept which can only portray reality in an abstract, fragmented, static kind of way.
In that moment of sight, you will also drop every formula and book and guide and guru. What is it that you will see? Anything. Everything. A falling leaf, the behavior of a friend, the ripples on the surface of a lake, a pile of stones, a ruined building, a crowded street, a starry sky, whatever.
But with fresh eyes, unclouded by past experiences, unconditioned by any prejudice, by any formula. After you have seen, someone may attempt to help you put your vision into words, but you will shake your head. No. Not that. That\'s just another formula.
Someone else will attempt to explain the meaning of what you saw, and you will shake your head again because meaning is a formula. Something that

can be put into concepts. Something that makes sense to the thinking mind. Whereas, what you saw is beyond all formula and therefore beyond all meaning. And having seen, a mysterious change will come about in you.
Barely perceptible at first, but radically transforming. You will never be the same again because you will feel the exhilarating confidence and freedom that comes to those who know that every formula, no matter how sacred, is worthless. And you will never again call anyone your teacher. Then you will never cease to learn as each day you observe and understand afresh the whole process and movement of life. Then every single thing and person and event will be your teacher.
So put your books and formulas aside. Dare to abandon your teacher, whoever your teacher may be, and see things for yourself. Dare to look at everything around you without fear and without formula. And it won\'t be long before you see. None of you can be a disciple of mine without taking leave of all his possessions.
If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Take a look at the world and see the hap the unhappiness around you and in you. Do you know what causes it? You will probably say loneliness or oppression or war or hatred or atheism, and you will be wrong. There is only one cause of unhappiness, The false beliefs you have in your head.
Beliefs so commonly held that it never occurs to you to question them. Because of these false beliefs, you see the world and yourself in a distorted way. Your programming is so strong and the pressure of society so intense that you are literally trapped into perceiving the world in this distorted kind of way. There is no way out because you do not even have a suspicion that your perception is distorted, your thinking is wrong, and your beliefs are false. Look around and see if you can find a single genuinely happy person free from insecurities, fears, tension, worries.
You would be lucky if you found 1 in a 100000. This should lead you to suspect the programming and the beliefs that you and they hold in common. But you have also been programmed not to suspect, not to doubt, just to trust the assumptions that have been put into you by your tradition, your culture, your society, your religion. And if you are not happy, you have been trained to blame yourself, not your programming, not your cultural and inherited ideas and beliefs. What makes it even worse is the fact that most people are so brainwashed that they do not even realize how unhappy they are.
Like the man in a dream who has no idea that he is dreaming. What are these false beliefs that block you from happiness? Here are some. 1st, you cannot be happy without the things that you are attached to and that you consider so precious. False.
There is not a single moment in your life when you do not have everything that you need to be happy. Think of that for a minute. The reason why you are unhappy is because you are focusing on what you do not have rather

than on what you have right now. Another belief. Happiness is in the future.
False again. Right here and now, you are happy and you do not know it because your false beliefs and your distorted perceptions have got you caught up in fears, anxieties, attachments, conflicts, guilt, and a host of games that you are programmed to play. If you would see through this, you would realize that you are happy and do not even know it. Yet another belief. Happiness will come if you manage to change the situation you are in and the people around you.
Not true. You foolishly squander so much energy trying to rearrange the world. If changing the world is your vocation in life, go right ahead and change it. But do not harbor the illusion that this is going to make you happy. What makes you happy or unhappy is not the world and the people around you, but the thinking in your head.
As well search for an eagle\'s nest on the bed of an ocean as search for happiness in the world outside of you. So if it is happiness that you seek, you can stop wasting your energy trying to cure your baldness or build up an attractive body or change your residence or job or community or lifestyle or even your personality. Do you realize that you could change every one of these things? You could have the finest looks and the most charming personality and the most pleasant of surroundings and still be unhappy? And deep down, you know that this is true, but still you waste your effort and energy trying to get what you know cannot make you happy.
Another false belief. If all your desires are fulfilled, you will be happy. Not true. In fact, it is these very desires and attachments that make you tense, frustrated, nervous, insecure, and fearful. Do they not?
Make a list of your attachments and desires. And to each of them say, deep down in my heart, I know that even after I have got you, I will not get happiness. And ponder on the truth of those words. The fulfillment of desire can, at the most, bring flashes of pleasure and excitement. Don\'t mistake that for happiness.
Your own experience should have taught you that pleasure soon becomes wearisome and excitement infallibly leads to boredom. Whereas, one never tires of the thing called happiness. What then is happiness? Very few people know and no one can tell because happiness cannot be described. Can you describe light to people who have been sitting in darkness all their lives?
Can you describe reality to someone in a dream? Understand your darkness, and it will vanish. Then you will know what light is. Understand your nightmare for what it is and it will stop. Then you will wake up to reality.
Understand your false beliefs and they will drop. Then you will know the taste of happiness. If people want happiness so badly, why don\'t they attempt to understand their false beliefs? First, because it never occurs to them to see them as false or even as beliefs. They see them as facts.

So deeply have they been programmed. 2nd, because they are scared to lose the only world they know, the world of desires, attachments, fears, social pressures, tensions, ambitions, worries, guilt, with the flashes of the pleasure and relief and excitement which these things bring. Think of someone who is afraid to let go of a nightmare because after all, that is the only world he knows. There you have a picture of yourself and of other people. If you wish to attain to lasting happiness, you must be ready to hate father, mother, even your own life, and to take leave of all your possessions.
How? Not by renouncing them or giving them up because what you give up violently, you are forever bound to, but rather by seeing them for the nightmare they are. And then whether you keep them or not, they will have lost their grip over you, their power to hurt you, and you will be out of your dream at last, out of your darkness, your fear, your unhappiness. So spend some time seeing each of the things you cling to for what it really is, a nightmare that causes you excitement and pleasure on the one hand, but also worry, insecurity, tension, anxiety, fear, unhappiness on the other. Father and mother, nightmare.
Wife and children, brothers and sisters, nightmare. All your possessions, nightmare. Your life as it is now? Nightmare. Every single thing you cling to and have convinced yourself that you cannot be happy without?
Nightmare. Then you will hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even your own life your life as you live it now. And you will so easily take leave of all your possessions. That is you will stop clinging and thus have destroyed their capacity to hurt you. Then at last, you will experience that mysterious state that cannot be described or uttered.
The state of abiding happiness and peace. And you will understand how true it is that everyone who stops clinging to brothers or sisters, father, mother, or children, land or houses is is repaid a 100 times over and gains the state of timelessness called eternal life. The kingdom of heaven suffers violence and it is the violent who carry it off. Compare the serene and simple splendor of a rose in bloom with the tension and restlessness of your own life. The rose has a gift that you lack.
It is perfectly content to be itself. It has not been programmed from birth as you have been to be dissatisfied with itself. So it hasn\'t the slightest urge to be anything other than it is. That is why it possesses the artless grace and absence of inner conflict that among humans is only found in little children and mystics. Consider your sad condition.
You are always dissatisfied with yourself, always wanting to change yourself. So you are full of violence and self intolerance, which only grows with every effort that you make to change yourself. So any change you achieve is always accompanied by inner conflict, And you suffer when you see others achieve what you have not and become what you are not. Would you be tormented by jealousy and envy if, like the rose, you were content to be what you are and never aspired to what you are not? But you

are driven, are you not, to be like someone else who has more knowledge, better looks, more popularity or success than you?
You want to become more virtuous, more loving, more meditative. You want to find God, to come closer to your ideals. Think of the sad history of your efforts at self improvement that either either ended in disaster or succeeded only at the cost of struggle and pain. Now suppose you desisted from all efforts to change yourself and from all self dissatisfaction, would you then be doomed to go to sleep having passively accepted everything in you and around you? No.
There is another way besides laborious self pushing on the one hand and stagnant acceptance on the other. It is the way of self understanding. This is far from easy because to understand what you are requires complete freedom from all desire to change what you are into something else. You will see this if you compare the attitude of a scientist who studies the habits of ants without the slightest desire to change them with the attitude of a dog trainer who studies the habits of a dog with a view to making it learn something. If you if what you attempt is not to change yourself, but to observe yourself, to study every one of your reactions to people and things without judgment or condemnation or the desire to reform yourself.
Your observation will be non selective, comprehensive, never fixed in rigid conclusions, always open and fresh from moment to moment. Then you will notice a marvelous thing happening within you. You will be flooded with the light of awareness. You will become transparent and transformed. Will change occur then?
Oh, yes. In you and in your surroundings. But it will not be brought about by your cunning, restless ego that is forever scheming to improve others and yourself, forever competing, comparing, coercing, sermonizing, manipulating in its intolerance and its ambition, thereby creating tension and conflict and resistance between you and nature. An exhausting, self defeating process like driving with your brakes on. Know the transforming light of awareness brushes aside your scheming, self seeking ego to give nature full rein, to bring about the kind of change that she produces in the rose.
Artless, graceful, unselfconscious, wholesome, untainted by inner conflict. Since all change is violent, she will be violent. But the marvelous quality of nature violence, unlike ego violence, is that it does not spring from intolerance and self hatred. So there is no anger in the raging storm that carries everything before it or the fish that devour their young in obedience to ecological laws, we do not we know not of bodily cells that destroy each other in the interests of a higher good. When nature destroys, it is not from ambition or greed or self aggrandizement, but in obedience to mysterious laws that seek the good of the whole universe above the survival and well-being of the past.
It is this kind of violence that arises within the mystics who storm against the ideas and structures that have become entrenched in their societies and cultures when awareness awakens them to evils their contemporaries are blinded to. It is this violence that causes the rose

to come into being in the face of forces hostile to it, And it is to this violence that the rose, like the mystic, will sweetly succumb after it has opened its petals to the sun and lived in fragile, fleeting loveliness, quite unconcerned to add a single extra minute to its allotted span of life. And so it lives in blessedness and beauty, like the birds of the air and the flowers of the field. With no trace of the restlessness and dissatisfaction, the jealousy and anxiety and competitiveness that characterize the world of human beings who seek to control and coerce rather than be content to flower into awareness, leaving all change to the mighty force of God in nature. When you set your hands to the plow and then keep looking back, you are not worthy of the kingdom of god.
God\'s kingdom is love. What does it mean to love? It means to be sensitive to life, to things, to persons, to feel for everything and everyone, to the exclusion of nothing and no one. For exclusion can only be achieved through a hardening of oneself, through closing one\'s doors. And the moment there is a hardening, sensitivity dies.
It won\'t be hard for you to find examples of this kind of sensitivity in your life. Have you ever stopped to remove a stone or a nail from the road lest someone come to harm? It does not matter that you will never know the person who will benefit from this gesture, and you will receive no reward or recognition. You just do it from a feeling of benevolence and kindness. Or have you felt pained at the wanton destruction in another part of the world of a forest that you will never see and never benefit from?
Have you gone to some trouble to help a stranger find his way even though you do not know and will never meet this person again? Purely from a goodheartedness that you feel within you. In these and in so many other moments, love came to the surface in your life, signaling that it was there within you waiting to be released. How can you come to possess this kind of love? You cannot because it is already there within you.
All you have to do is remove the blocks you place to sensitivity and it will surface. The blocks to sensitivity are 2, belief and attachment. Belief. As soon as you have a belief, you have come to a conclusion about a person or situation or thing. You have now become fixed and dropped your sensitivity.
You are prejudiced and will see that person from the eye of that prejudice. In other words, you will cease to see this person again. And how can you be sensitive to someone whom you do not even see? Just take 1 or 2 of your acquaintances and list the many positive or negative conclusions you have arrived at and on the basis of which you relate to him or her. The moment you say so and so is wise or cruel or loving or defensive or whatever, You have hardened your perception and become prejudiced and ceased to perceive this person moment by moment.
Somewhat like a pilot who operates today on last week\'s weather reports. Take a hard look at those beliefs for the real realization that they are beliefs, conclusions, prejudices will cause them to drop. The second block, attachment. How is an attachment born? 1st comes the contact with

something that gives you pleasure, a car, an attractively advertised modern appliance, a word of praise, a person\'s company.
Then comes the desire to hold on to it, to repeat the gratifying sensation that this thing or person caused you. Finally comes the conviction that you will not be happy without this person or thing. Now you have a full blown attachment, and with it comes the inevitable exclusion of other things, an insensitivity to anything that isn\'t part of your attachment. Each time you leave the object of your attachment, you leave your heart there so you cannot invest it in the next place you go to. The symphony of life moves on, but you keep looking back, clinging to a few bars of the melody, blocking your ears to the rest of the music, thereby producing disharmony and conflict between what life is offering you and what you are clinging to.
Then comes the tension and anxiety, which is the death of love and of the joyful freedom that love brings. For love and freedom are only found when one enjoys each note as it arises, then allows it to pass so as to be fully receptive to the notes that follow. How does one drop an attachment? People try to do this through renunciation, But to renounce some bars of music, to blot them out of one\'s consciousness creates exactly the type of violence, conflict, and insensitivity that clinging does. Once again, you have hardened yourself.
The secret is to renounce nothing, cling to nothing, enjoy everything, and allow it to pass, to flow. How? Through many hours of observing the rottenness, the corrupt nature of an attachment. You generally concentrate on the thrill, the flash of pleasure that it brings, but contemplate the anxiety, the pain, the unfreedom. Simultaneously, contemplate the joy, the peace, and freedom that are yours each time an attachment drops.
Then you will stop looking back and be enchanted by the music of the present moment. Finally, take a look at this society that we live in, infected as it is by attachments, rotten to the core. If anyone is attached to power, money, property, to fame and success, if anyone seeks these things as if their happiness depended on them, they will be considered productive members of society, dynamic and hardworking. In other words, if they pursue these things with a driving ambition that destroys the symphony of their life and makes them hard and cold and insensitive to others and to themselves, society will look will look upon them as respectable citizens. And their relatives and friends will be proud of the status that they have achieved.
How many so called respectable people do you know who have retained the gentle sensitivity of love that only unattachment can bring? If you contemplate this long enough, you will experience a disgust so deep that it will smash your attachments. You will revolt and break loose from this putrid culture that is based on acquisitiveness and attachment, on anxiety and greed, and on the hardness and insensitivity of non love. He sent the people away. After doing that, he went up to the mountain to pray alone.

It grew late, and he was there all by himself. Has it ever occurred to you that you can only love when you are alone? What does it mean to love? It means to see a person, a thing, a situation as it really is and not as you imagine it to be and to give it the response that it deserves. You cannot love what you do not even see.
And what prevents us from seeing? Our mental conditioning, our concepts, our categories, our prejudices and projections, our needs and attachments, the labels we have drawn from our conditioning and from our past experiences. Seeing is the most arduous thing a human being can undertake for it calls for a disciplined, alert mind, whereas most people would much rather lapse into mental laziness than take the trouble to see each person and thing anew in present moment freshness. To drop your conditioning in order to see is arduous enough. But seeing calls for something more painful still.
The dropping of the control that society exercises over you. A control whose tentacles have penetrated to the very root of your being so that to remove it is to tear yourself apart. If you wish to understand this, think of a little child that is given a taste for drugs. As the drug penetrates the body of the child, it becomes addicted and its whole being cries out for the drug. To be without the drug is so unbearable a torment that it seems preferable to die.
Now this is exactly what your society did to you when you were a child. You were not allowed to enjoy the solid nutritious food of life, work and play and the company of people and the pleasures of the senses and the mind. You were given a taste for the drugs called approval, appreciation, attention, the drug called success, prestige, power. Having got a taste for these artificial stimulants, you became addicted and began to dread their loss. Hence, the control.
You now feel terror at the prospect of failure, of mistakes, of the criticism of others. So you become cravenly cravenly dependent on people and you have lost your freedom. Others now have the power to make you happy or miserable. And much as you now hate the suffering that this involves, you find yourself completely helpless. There is never a minute when, consciously or unconsciously, you are not keenly attuned to the reaction of others, marching to the drum of their demands rather than dancing to the melody that wells up from within your being.
When you are ignored or disapproved of, you experience a loneliness so unbearable that you crawl back to people to beg for the comfort, the drug known as support, encouragement, reassurance. To live with people in this state involves never ending tension, but to live without them brings the agony of loneliness. You have lost your capacity to see them exactly as they are and to respond to them accurately. Mostly, your perception of them is clouded by the need to get your drug. The consequence of this is terrifying and unescapable.
You have become incapable of loving anyone or anything. If you wish to love, you must learn to see again. And if you wish to see, you must give up your drug. You must tear away from your being, the tentacles of society which have penetrated to the marrow. You must drop out.

Externally, everything will go on as before. You will continue to be in the world, but will no longer be of it because your heart will now be free at last and utterly alone. It is only in this aloneness, this utter solitude that dependence on your drug will die and the capacity to love is born. For one no longer sees others as means to satisfy one\'s addiction. Only someone who has attempted this knows the terror of the process.
It is like inviting yourself to die. It is like asking the poor drug addict to give up the only happiness he has known and to replace it with a taste for bread and fruit and a clean fresh morning air and the sweetness of the water from the mountain stream while he is struggling to cope with his withdrawal symptoms and with the emptiness that he experiences within himself now that his drug has gone. To his fevered mind, nothing can fill the emptiness except his drug. Can you imagine a life in which you refuse to enjoy a single word of approval or appreciation or to rest your head on any shoulder in which you depend on no one emotionally so no one has the power to make you happy or miserable anymore. You refuse to need any particular person or to be special to anyone or to call anyone your own.
Even the birds of the air have their nests and the foxes their holes, but
you will have nowhere to rest your head in your journey through life. you ever get to this stage, you will at last know what it means to see with a vision that is clear and unclouded by fear or desire, and you will know what it means to love. But to come to the land of love, you have to pass through the pains of death. For to love persons means to have died to the need for persons and to be utterly alone. How would you ever get there?
My ceaseless awareness and the infinite patience and compassion that you would have for a drug addict. You must also develop a taste for the good things of life to counter your craving for the drug, things like work and laughter and intimacy with people whom you do not cling to and so do not depend on emotionally. It will also help if you undertake activities that you can do with your whole being, activities that you so love to do, that while you are engaged in them, success or recognition or approval simply do not mean a thing to you. It will help too if you return to nature. Send the crowds away and go up into the mountain and silently commune with trees and flowers and animals and birds, with sea and sky and clouds and star and stars.
Then you will know that your heart has brought you into the vast desert of solitude. There is no one there by your side, absolutely no one. At first, it will seem unbearable, but that is only because you are unaccustomed to aloneness. But if you manage to stay there for a while, the desert will suddenly bloom into love. Your heart will burst into song, and it will be springtime forever.
Of what use is it to you to gain the whole world if you suffer the loss of your soul? Recall the kind of feeling you have when someone praises you, when you are approved, accepted, applauded, and contrast that with the kind of feeling that arises within you when you look at the sunset or
If

the sunrise or nature in general or when you read a book or watch a movie that you thoroughly enjoy. Get the taste of this feeling and contrast it with the first, namely the one that was generated within you when you were praised. Understand that the first type of feeling comes from self glorification, self promotion. It is a worldly feeling.
The second comes from self fulfillment, a soul feeling. Here is another contrast. Recall the kind of feeling you have when you succeed, when you have made it, when you get to the top, when you win a bet or a game or an argument, And contrast it with the kind of feeling you get when you really enjoy the job you are doing, when you are absorbed in the action that you are currently engaged in. And once again, notice the qualitative difference between the worldly feeling and the soul feeling. Yet another contrast.
Remember what you felt like when you had power? You were the boss. People looked up to you, took orders from you, or when you were popular. And contrast that worldly feeling with the feeling of intimacy, companionship, the times you thoroughly enjoyed in the company of a friend or with a group in which there was fun and laughter. Having done this, attempt to understand the true nature of worldly feelings, namely the feelings of self promotion, self glorification.
They are not natural. They were invented by your society and your culture to make you productive and to make you controllable. These feelings do not produce the nourishment and happiness that is produced when one contemplates nature or enjoys the company of one\'s friends or one\'s work. They were meant to produce thrills, excitement, and emptiness. Having reflected on this, observe yourself in the course of a day or of a week and think how many actions of yours are performed, how many activities engaged in that are uncontaminated by the desire for these thrills, these excitements that only produce emptiness.
The desire for attention, approval, fame, popularity, success, or power. And take a look at the people around you. Is there a single one of them who has not become addicted to these worldly feelings? A single one who is not controlled by them, hungering for them, spending every minute of his or her waking life consciously or unconsciously seeking them. When you see this, you will understand how people attempt to gain the world and, in the process, lose their souls, for they live empty, soulless lives.
And here is a parable of life for you to ponder on. A tourist bus is passing through gorgeously beautiful country, lakes and mountains and green fields and rivers. But the shades of the bus are down, and the tourists do not have the slightest idea of what lies beyond the windows of the bus. And all the time of their journey is spent in squabbling over who will have the seat of honor in the bus, who will be applauded, who will be well considered, and so they remain till journey\'s end. None of you can be a disciple of mine without taking leave of all his possession.
If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Take a look at the world and see the unhappiness around you and

in you. Do you know what causes it? You will probably say loneliness or oppression or war or hatred or atheism, And you will be wrong. There is only one cause of unhappiness.
The false beliefs you have in your head. Beliefs so commonly held that it never occurs to you to question them. Because of these false beliefs, you see the world and yourself in a distorted way. Your programming is so strong and the pressure of society is so intense that you are literally trapped into perceiving the world in this distorted kind of way. There is no way out because you do not even have a suspicion that your perception is distorted.
Your thinking is wrong, and your beliefs are false. Look around and see if you can find a single genuinely happy person free from insecurities, fears, tension, worries. You would be lucky if you found 1 in a 100000. This should lead you to suspect the programming and the beliefs that you and they hold in common. But you have also been programmed not to suspect, not to doubt, just to trust the assumptions that have been put into you by your tradition, your culture, your society, your religion.
And if you are not happy, you have been trained to blame yourself, not your programming, not your cultural and inherited ideas and beliefs. What makes it even worse is the fact that most people are so brainwashed that they do not even realize how unhappy they are. Like the man in a dream who has no idea that he is dreaming. What are these false beliefs that block you from happiness? Here are some.
1st, you cannot be happy without the things that you are attached to and that you consider so precious. Charles, there is not a single moment in your life when you do not have everything that you need to be happy. Think of that for a minute. The reason why you are unhappy is because you are focusing on what you do not have rather than what you have right now. Another belief.
Happiness is in the future. False again. Right here and now, you are happy, and you do not know it because your false beliefs and your distorted perceptions have got you caught up in fears, anxieties, attachments, conflicts, guilt, and a host of games that you are programmed to play. If you would see through this, you would realize that you are happy and do not even know it. Yet another belief.
Happiness will come if you manage to change the situation you are in and the people around you. Not true. You foolishly squander so much energy trying to rearrange the world. If changing the world is your vocation in life, go right ahead and change it. But do not harbor the illusion that this is going to make you happy.
What makes you happy or unhappy is not the world and the people around you, but the thinking in your head. As well search for an eagle\'s nest on the bed of an ocean as search for happiness in the world outside of you. So if it is happiness that you see, you can stop wasting your energy trying to cure your baldness or build up an attractive body or change your residence or job or community or lifestyle or even your personality. Do you realize that you could change every one of these things? You could

have the finest looks and the most charming personality and the most pleasant of surroundings and still be unhappy.
And deep down, you know that this is true, but still you waste your effort and energy trying to get what you know cannot make you happy. Another false belief. If all your desires are fulfilled, you will be happy. Not true. In fact, it is these very desires and attachments that make you tense, frustrated, nervous, insecure, and fearful.
Do they not? Make a list of your attachments and desires. And to each of them, say, deep down in my heart, I know that even after I have got you, I will not get happiness. And ponder on the truth of those words. The fulfillment of desire can, at the most, bring flashes of pleasure and excitement.
Don\'t mistake that for happiness. Your own experience should have taught you that pleasure soon becomes wearisome, and excitement infallibly leads to border. Whereas, one never tire of the thing called happiness. What then is happiness? Very few people know, and no one can tell because happiness cannot be described.
Can you describe light to people who have been sitting in darkness all their lives? Can you describe reality to someone in a dream? Understand your darkness, and it will vanish. Then you will know what light is. Understand your nightmare for what it is, and it will stop.
Then you will wake up to reality. Understand your false beliefs, and they will drop. Then you will know the taste of happiness. If people want happiness so badly, why don\'t they attempt to understand their false beliefs? 1st, because it never occurs to them to see them as false or even as beliefs.
They see them as facts. So deeply have they been programmed. 2nd, because they are scared to lose the only world they know, the world of desires, attachments, fears, social pressures, tensions, ambitions, worries, guilt with the flashes of the pleasure and relief and excitement which these things bring. Think of someone who is afraid to let go of a nightmare because after all, that is the only world he knows. There you have a picture of yourself and of other people.
If you wish to attain to lasting happiness, you must be ready to hate father, mother, even your own life, and to take leave of all your possessions. How? Not by renouncing them or giving them up. Because what you give up violently, you are forever bound to do. But rather by seeing them for the nightmare they are.
And then whether you keep them or not, they will have lost their grip over you, their power to hurt you, and you will be out of your dream at last, out of your darkness, your fear, your unhappiness. So spend some time seeing each of the things you cling to for what it really is, a nightmare that causes you excitement and pleasure on the one hand, but also worry, insecurity, tension, anxiety, fear, unhappiness on the other. Father and mother, nightmare. Wife and children, brothers and sisters? Nightmare.

All your possessions? Nightmare. Your life as it is now? Nightmare. Every single thing you cling to and have convinced yourself that you cannot be happy without, nightmare.
Then you will hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even your own life, Your life as you live it now. And you will so easily take leave of all your possessions. That is, you will stop clinging and thus have destroyed their capacity to hurt you. Then at last, you will experience that mysterious state that cannot be described or uttered, the state of abiding happiness and peace. And you will understand how true it is that everyone who stops clinging to brothers or sisters, father, mother, or children, land, or houses, it is repaid a 100 times over and gains the state of timelessness called eternal life.
If a man wants to sue you for your shirt, let him have your coat as well. And if a man in authority makes you go 1 mile, go with him too. Take a look at the way you have been put together and the kind of existence you are leading. Inside your head, there is a programming, a set of demands about how things should be and about how you want things to be. Who did the programming?
Not you. It isn\'t you who decided how you want things to be. The programming was done by your parents, your society, your culture, your religion, your past experiences. They are the ones that have dictated to you how the world of things and people should be and what your wants and values and tastes and attitudes and desires should be. No matter where you go, your computer, your programming goes along with you and is active and operating at each conscious moment of the day, imperiously insisting that its demands be met by the world, by people, and by you.
If the demands are met, the computer allows you to be peaceful and happy. If they are not met, the computer generates negative emotions within you even when you are not responsible. For instance, when other people don\'t live up to your expectations, the computer taments you. It torments you with frustration or anger or bitterness. For another example, when things are not in your control or the future is uncertain, your programming insists that you must experience anxiety, tension, worry.
Then you spend a lot of energy coping with these negative emotions, and you generally cope by expending a lot more energy trying to rearrange the world of things and people around you so that the demands of your computer will be met, and you will be granted a measure of precarious peace. Precarious because any moment, something, a trifle, a delayed train, a tape recorder that doesn\'t work, a letter that doesn\'t arrive, anything is going to be out of conformity with your computer\'s programming. And the computer will insist that you become upset again. And so you live a pathetic existence, constantly at the mercy of things and people around you, trying desperately to make them conform to your computer\'s demands so that you will enjoy the only peace you have ever known, A temporary respite from negative emotions courtesy of your computer and your program. Is there a way out?

Yes. You are not going to be able to change your programming all that quickly or perhaps ever. And you don\'t even need to. Try this. Imagine you are in a situation or with a person that you find unpleasant that you would ordinarily avoid.
Now observe how your computer instantly becomes active, insisting that you avoid the situation or try to change it. And if you stay on there and refuse to avoid it, insisting that you experience irritation or anxiety or guilt or some other negative emotion. Now keep on looking at this unpleasant situation or person with whom you find yourself until you realize that it isn\'t they that are causing the negative emotions. They are just going their way being themselves, doing their thing right or wrong, good or bad. It is your computer that, thanks to your programming, insists on your reacting with negative emotions.
Someone else in your place faced with the same unpleasant situation or person or event would react quite calmly, even happily. Don\'t stop looking till you see this. The only reason why you are not reacting calmly and happily is your computer that stubbornly demands that reality be rearranged to conform to its program. Observe all this from the outside, so to speak, and see what happens to you. Once you have achieved this, once you have seen what is going on, You may take any action you think fit.
You may avoid the situation or the person, or you may try to change the situation. Whatever. But only after you have seen this. For then, your action will spring from peace and love, not from the neurotic desire to appease your computer, to conform to your programming Or to get rid of your negative emotions. Then you will understand how beautiful are the words If a man wants to sue you for your shirt, let him have your coat as well.
If a man in authority makes you go one mile, go with him too. For you will have understood that true oppression, the real oppression, comes not from people who fight you in court or from imperial authority that subject you to all kinds of slave labor. But from your computer, from your programming. That\'s the oppression from which you need to be liberated. There alone is true and final liberation from which all reform and all revolution must spring.
Mod at the end, put post script, insist on your rights if you wish. That\'s all. Has it ever struck you that you have been programmed to be unhappy? That no matter how hard you try to be happy, you are doomed to fail. It is as if you fed mathematical equations into a computer, and then you expect it to give you lines from Shakespeare If you wish to be happy, stop trying to be happy and start understanding how you have been programmed.
This is what happened. 1st, your society, your culture taught you to believe that you would not be happy without certain persons and certain things. Just take a look around you. Everyone has built their lives on the belief that without certain things, money, power, success, approval, a good reputation, love, friendship, spirituality, god. They cannot be happy.

What is your combination? The next step in your programming, the moment you swallow that belief, the belief that without certain things or certain people, you cannot be happy, You develop an attachment. An attachment is the conviction that you can\'t live or can\'t be happy without something or someone. Now stop for a moment and contemplate in horror the endless list of attachments that you are a prisoner to. Think of concrete things, not extractions.
Having picked up these attachments, that is this belief that you cannot manage without these things, You strive might and main at every waking moment to rearrange, to change the world of things and people around you to fit your attachments. Since it is quite impossible to do this, you are doomed to a life of frustration, anxiety, worry, insecurity, constant suspense and tension. At any moment, the world that you have so painfully arranged to suit your attachments will change. And so you are doomed to a life of constant unhappiness. For a few fleeting moments, the world does rearrange itself to suit your attachments.
Then you become briefly happy. But analyze that happiness of yours. It isn\'t happiness. It is a flash of excitement accompanied by the underlying fear that you will lose control of the world at any moment. And check these things out and see if they are true.
Each time you are anxious and afraid, it is because you may lose or fail to get the object of your attachment. Is it not? And each time you feel jealous, It is because someone may make off With what you are attached to and almost all your anger comes from someone standing in the way of your attachment, does it not? And see how paranoid you become when your attachment is threatened. You cannot think objectively.
Your whole vision becomes distorted, does it not? And every time you feel bored, is it not because you are not getting a sufficient supply of what you believe will make you happy of what you are attached to and when you are depressed and miserable the cause is clear to everyone life is not giving you what you are convinced you cannot manage without you cannot be happy without. So there you are loaded down by your attachments, telling everyone that you want to be happy, striving desperately to attain happiness. The very notion is laughable, isn\'t it? There is only one thing that you need to become happy.
Get deprogrammed. Get rid of those attachments. But contrary to popular belief, you do not need a surgeon\'s night for this, and the process is not one bit painful. On the contrary, getting rid of attachments is a delightful occupation, and what is needed is not effort or violence but sight. All you need is to see that you do not really need the object of your attachment at all, that you were programmed, you were brainwashed to think that you cannot be happy or you cannot live without this person or thing.
Remember how heartbroken you were once when you thought that you could never be happy again because you lost someone or something that was precious to you. But then what happened? After a while, you learned to

get on pretty well, didn\'t you? That should have alerted you to the trick your mind is playing on you. An attachment isn\'t a reality.
It is a belief, a thought, a conviction in your head acquired through programming. If that thought or belief did not exist in your head, you would not be attached. You would love things and persons. You would enjoy them thoroughly, but lacking the belief you would be without the attachment. And so to end this meditation, ask and review now all of those attachments of yours 1 by 1.
Inspect each one of them and say, I am not attached to you at all. I am only fooling myself into the belief that without you, I won\'t be happy. Just do this honestly and see what happens to you. I am not attached to you at all. I am only fooling myself into the belief that without you, I won\'t be happy.
Toxes have holes, and the birds of the air, their nests. But I have nowhere to rest my head. Here is a mistake that most people make in their relationships with others. They try to build a steady nesting place in the ever moving stream of life. Think of the people whose love you desire.
Do you want to be important to these people To be special and make a difference to their lives? Do you want them to care for you and be concerned about you in a special way? If you do, you are foolishly inviting them to restrict your freedom for their benefit. To control your behavior, your growth and development. So that it will suit their interest.
You are even inviting them to reserve you for themselves. It is as if these people said to you, if you want to be special to us, then you must meet our conditions. Because the moment you cease to live up to our expectations, you will cease to be special to us. You wanted to be special to someone, didn\'t you? So you must pay a price in lost freedom.
You must dance to the other person\'s tune. Just as you demand that other person\'s dance to yours if you if they want to be special to you. Pause now to ask yourself if it is worth paying so much for so little. Imagine you say to someone whose special love you want, leave me free to be myself, to think my thoughts, to indulge my tastes, to follow my inclination, to behave in ways that I decide are to my liking. The moment you say those words, you will understand that you are asking for the impossible.
To ask to be special to someone means, essentially, to be bound to the task of making yourself pleasing to that person. And therefore, to lose your freedom. Take all the time you need to real to understand this. Maybe now you are ready to say, I would rather have my freedom than your love. If you could either have company in prison or walk the earth in freedom all alone, which would you choose?
Now say to this person, I leave you free to be yourself, to think your thoughts, to indulge your tastes, follow your inclinations, behave in any way that you decide is to your liking. The moment you say that, you will

observe 1 of 2 things. Either your heart will resist those words and you will be exposed for the tanger and the exploiter that you are. So now is the time to examine your false belief that without this person you cannot live or cannot be happy. All your heart will pronounce the words sincerely.
And in that very instant, all control, manipulation, exploitation, possessiveness, jealousy will drop. I leave you free to be yourself. To think your thought. Indulge your taste. Follow your inclinations.
Behave in ways that you decide are to your liking. Say those words again. And you will notice something else. The person automatically ceases to be special and important to you when you are able to honestly say those words. And he or she becomes important in themselves.
The way a sunset or a symphony are lovely in themselves. The way a tree is special in itself and not for the fruit or the shade that it can offer you. Your beloved will then belong not to you, but to everyone or to no one like the sunrise and the tree. Test it by saying those words again. I leave you free to be yourself.
To think your thoughts, indulge your tastes, follow your inclinations, behave in ways that you decide are to your liking. In saying those words, you have set yourself free. You are now ready to love. For when you cling, what you offer the other is not love, but a chain by which both you and your beloved are bound. Love can only exist in freedom.
The true lover seeks the good of his beloved which requires especially the liberation of the beloved from the lover. The master said, go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring me in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame. Think of someone whom you dislike. Someone you generally avoid because hisher presence generates negative feelings in you. Imagine yourself to be in this person\'s presence now and watch the negative emotions arise.
You are, quite possibly, in the presence of someone who is poor, crippled, blind, or lame. Now understand that if you invite this person, this beggar from the streets and alleys into your house that is into your presence, He or she will make you a gift that none of your charming pleasant friends can make you rich as they are. He or she is going to reveal yourself to you and to reveal human nature to you. A revelation as precious as any found in scripture. For what will it profit you to know all the scriptures if you do not know yourself?
The revelation that this beggar is going to bring is going to widen your heart till there is room in it for every living creature. Can any person make you a finer gift than that? Now take a look at yourself reacting negatively. And understand the following truth. You are not in charge of this situation.
This situation is in charge of you. That is the first revelation. With it comes another. The way to be in charge of this situation is to be in charge of yourself which you are not. How does one take charge of oneself?

All you have to do is to understand that there are people in the world who, if they were in your place, would not be negatively affected by this person. They would be in charge of the situation above it, not subject to it as you are. Therefore, your negative feelings are caused not by this person as you mistakenly think but by your programming. Here is the third and major revelation. Your negative feelings are caused not by this person but by your programming.
See what happens when you really understand this. Having received these revelations about yourself, listen to this revelation concerning human nature. This behavior, this trait in the other person that causes you to react negatively, do you realize that he or she is not responsible for it? You can only hold on to your negative feelings when you mistakenly believe that he or she is free and aware and, therefore, responsible. But whoever did evil in freedom and awareness?
The ability to do evil or to be evil comes not from freedom but from sickness. It is not a privilege but a disease for it implies a lack of consciousness and sensitivity. Those who are truly free cannot sin as God cannot sin. This poor person here in front of you is crippled, blind, lame, not responsible and free as you so foolishly thought. Understand this truth.
Look at it steadfastly and deeply, and you will see your negative emotions transform into understanding and compassion. Suddenly, you have room in your heart for someone who was formally consigned to the streets and the alleys by others and by you. And with this comes yet another revelation, namely the understanding that whereas you thought that it was this person who was crippled and handicapped, you now realize that it is you who were crippled by your programming. It is you who were blind in not understanding human nature as it really is. Now you will realize that this beggar came to your home with an arms for you.
The widening of your heart in compassion and the release of your spirit in freedom. That was the arms. Where before you used to be controlled, these persons had the power to create negative emotions in you and make you go out of your way to avoid them. Now you have the freedom to avoid no one and to go anywhere. You may still avoid this person but no longer because he or she generates negative emotions in you but rather for other reasons.
You may be busy. You may prefer the company of others. When you see this, you will notice how to the feeling of compassion in your heart has been added the feeling of gratitude to this beggar whom you now see as your benefactor. And another new unaccustomed feeling, you actually feel a desire to seek out the company of these growth producing, crippled people the way someone who has learned to swim seeks water. Because each time you are with them, where before you used to feel the oppression and tyranny of negative feelings, you now actually feel an ever expanding compassion and the freedom of the skies.
And you can barely recognize yourself as you see yourself going out eagerly to the streets and alleys of the town in obedience to the

master\'s injunction to bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind, and the lame. The kingdom of heaven suffers violence and it is the violent who carry it off. Compare the serene and simple splendor of a rose in bloom with the tension and restlessness of your own life. The rose has a gift that you lack. It is perfectly content to be itself.
It has not been programmed from birth as you have been to be dissatisfied with itself, so it hasn\'t the slightest urge to be anything other than it is. That is why it possesses the artless grace and absence of inner conflict that among humans is only found in little children and mystics. Consider your sad condition. You are always dissatisfied with yourself, always wanting to change yourself. So you are full of violence and self intolerance which only grows with every effort that you make to change yourself.
So any change you achieve is always accompanied by inner conflict, and you suffer when you see others achieve what you have not and become what you are not. Would you be tormented by jealousy and envy if, like the rose, you were content to be what you are and never aspired to what you are not? But you are driven, are you not, to be like someone else who has more knowledge, better looks, more popularity, or success than you? You want to become more virtuous, more loving, more meditative. You want to find God to come closer to your ideals.
Think of the sad history of your efforts at self improvement that either either ended in disaster or succeeded only at the cost of struggle and pain. Now suppose you desisted from all efforts to change yourself and from all self dissatisfaction, would you then be doomed to go to sleep having passively accepted everything in you and around you? No. There is another way besides laborious self pushing on the one hand and stagnant acceptance on the other. It is the way of self understanding.
This is far from easy because to understand what you are requires complete freedom from all desire to change what you are into something else. You will see this if you compare the attitude of a scientist who studies the habits of ants without the slightest desire to change them with the attitude of a dog trainer who studies the habits of a dog with a view to making it learn something. If what you attempt is not to change yourself but to observe yourself, to study every one of your reactions to people and things without judgment or condemnation or the desire to reform yourself, your observation will be non selective, comprehensive, never fixed in rigid conclusions, always open and fresh from moment to moment. Then you will notice a marvelous thing happening within you. You will be flooded with the light of awareness.
You will become transparent and transform. Will change occur then? Oh, yes. In you and in your surroundings, but it will not be brought about by your cunning restless ego that is forever scheming to improve others and yourself forever competing, comparing, coercing, sermonizing, manipulating in its intolerance and its ambition thereby creating tension and conflict and resistance between you and nature An exhausting self defeating process like driving with your brakes on. No.

The transforming light of awareness brushes aside your scheming, self seeking ego to give nature full rein to bring about the kind of change that she produces in the rose. Artless, graceful, unselfconscious, wholesome, untainted by inner conflict. Since all change is violent, she will be violent. But the marvelous quality of nature violence, unlike ego violence, is that it does not spring from intolerance and self hatred. So there is no anger in the raging storm that carries everything before it or the fish that devour their young in obedience to ecological laws we do not we know not are bodily cells that destroy each other in the interests of a higher good.
When nature destroys, it is not from ambition or greed or self aggrandizement, but in obedience to mysterious laws that seek the good of the whole universe above the survival and well-being of the parts. It is this kind of violence that arises within the mystics who storm against the ideas and structures that have become entrenched in their societies and cultures when awareness awakens them to evils their contemporaries are blinded to. It is this violence that causes the rose to come into being in the face of forces hostile to it and it is to this violence that the rose like the mystic will sweetly succumb after it has opened its petals to the sun and lived in fragile fleeting loveliness. Quite unconcerned to add a single extra minute to its allotted span of life and so it lives in blessedness and beauty like the birds of the air and the flowers of the field with no trace of the restlessness and dissatisfaction, the jealousy and anxiety and competitiveness that characterize the world of human beings who seek to control and coerce rather than be content to flower into awareness, believing all change to the mighty force of God in nature.
Master, they said to him, we know that you pay deference to no one and teach in all honesty. Look at your life and see how you have filled its emptiness with people. As a result, they have a stranglehold on you. They control your behavior by their approval and disapproval. They hold the power to ease your loneliness with their company, to send your spirit soaring with their praise, to bring you down to the depths with their criticism and rejection.
Take a look at yourself spending almost every waking minute of your day placating and pleasing people whether they be living or dead. You live by their norms, conform to their standards, seek their company, desire their love. You dread their ridicule. You long for their applause. You meekly submit to the guilt they lay upon you.
You are terrified to go against the fashion in the way you dress or speak or act or even think. And observe how you are just as dependent on them and enslaved by them when you control them as when they control you. So when you grip an object tightly, you have gained control of the object but are also controlled by it or you have lost the use of your hand. People have become so much a part of your being that you cannot even imagine living a life that is unaffected by them. As a matter of fact, they have convinced you that if you ever broke free of them you would become an island, solitary, bleak, unloving.

But the exact opposite is true. How can you love someone whom you are a slave to? How can you love someone whom you cannot live without? You can only desire, need, depend, fear, and be controlled. Love is found only in fearlessness and freedom.
How can you achieve this freedom? By means of a 2 pronged attack on your dependency. 1st, awareness. For it is impossible to be dependent, to be a slave, when you constantly observe the folly of your dependents. But awareness may not be enough for a person whose drug is people.
You must cultivate activities that you love. You must discover work that you do not merely for its utility, but for itself. Think of something that you love to do for itself. Whether it succeeds or not. Whether you are praised for it or not.
Whether you are loved and rewarded for it or not. Whether people know about it and are grateful to you for it or not. How many activities can you count in your life that you engage in simply because they delight you and grip your soul? Find them out. Cultivate them.
For they are your passport to freedom and to love. Here too, you have probably been brainwashed into the following consumeristic way of thinking. To enjoy a poem or a landscape or a piece of music is a waste of time. You must produce a poem or a composition or a work of art. Even to produce it is of little value in itself.
Your work must be known. What good is it if no one ever knows it? And even if it is known that means nothing if it is not applauded and praised by people. Your work achieves maximum value if it becomes popular and sells. So you are right back again into the arms and the control of people.
The value of an action, according to them, is not in its being loved and enjoyed for itself, but in its success. The royal road to reality, trodden by the mystic, does not pass through the world of people. It passes through the world of action which is engaged in for itself without an eye to success or to gain. Nonprofit action. This is what brings contact with reality.
Contrary to popular belief, the cure for lovelessness and loneliness is not found in company but in contact with reality. The moment you touch reality, you will know what freedom is, what love is. Freedom from people, and so the ability to love people. You must not think that for love to arise in your heart, you must first meet people. That would not be love at all, but attraction or compassion.
Rather, it is love that first springs in the heart through your contact with the real. Not love for any particular person or thing, but the reality of love, an attitude, a disposition of love. For love in itself has no object. Love simply is. It may be activated, but it is not created by the presence of others.
It arises unprovoked within the heart, then radiates outwards to the world of things and people. If you desire that this love should exist in

your life, you must break loose from your inward dependence on people by becoming aware of it and by engaging in activities that you love to do for themselves. Only then will you attain the freedom that is fearlessness and love, which is the total absence of fear. But as for you, you must call no one your teacher. You can get someone to teach you things mechanical or scientific or mathematical.
Like algebra or English or riding a cycle or operating a computer. But in the things that really matter life, love, truth, God no one can teach you that thing. All they can give you is formulas. If you take those formulas, you will have not reality, but reality filtered through the mind of someone else. Not truth, but someone else\'s version of it.
This applies even to your own formulas, which will offer you not reality, but reality filtered through a mind conditioned by past experience. All that the mind can offer is concepts that make sense to the mind. Whereas reality makes no sense to the mind at all. It is beyond thought. It is a mystery, and so it must be grasped.
If it can be grasped at all, beyond thought and beyond formulas. Look at it this way. There have been moments in your life when you had an experience that you know you will have to carry with you to your grave because you are quite unable to find words. Because there simply are no words in human language that can communicate the experience to anyone. Think of the kind of feeling that came upon you when you saw a bird fly over a lake or observed a blade of grass peeping out of a crack in the wall or heard the cry of a baby at night or suddenly sensed the loveliness of a naked human body or gazed at a corpse lying cold and rigid in a coffin.
You may try to communicate the experience inadequately, distortedly through music or poetry or painting. But in your heart, you know that no one will ever comprehend exactly what it was you saw and sensed. This is something you are quite powerless to express, much less teach to another human being. Now that is exactly how powerless a master feels when you ask him to teach you about life or god or reality. All he can give you is a set of words strung together into a formula.
But of what use are those words? Imagine a bus with its shades down filled with tourists who don\'t see or hear or touch or smell a thing of the strange exotic land that they are passing through. While all the time their guide chatters away giving them what he thinks is a vivid description of the world outside. The only sights and smells and sounds they will experience will come from the images that his words create in their heads. And let\'s suppose that when the bus stops, he sends them forth with formulas about what they can expect to see and experience.
Their experience will be limited, conditioned, distorted, contaminated by those formulas. And they will perceive not the reality that is there before them, but the reality that the guide wants them to see. They will look selectively, or they will project formulas onto the windows through which they perceive. So all they are likely to see is their own formulas. So what can teachers do?

They can bring to your notice what is unreal. They cannot show you the real. They can destroy your formulas. They cannot make you see what the formula is pointing to. They can indicate your error.
They cannot put you in possession of the truth. Their formulas can, at the most, point in the direction of reality. They cannot tell you what it is or what to see. You will have to walk out there alone and discover it for yourself. To walk alone, that means to walk away from every formula.
The ones your family and your culture gave you, the ones you learned from books, the ones that you yourself invented in the light of your past experiences. That is probably the most terrifying thing a human being can undertake to do. Expose himself to reality unprotected, unguided by any formula. To walk away from the world and into the desert as the prophets and mystics did is not to walk away from human company but to walk away from human formulations. Then even though you are surrounded by people, you are truly and utterly alone.
What an awesome solitude. That solitude, that aloneness, is silence. It is only in this silence that you will see. And the moment you see, the sheer concreteness and wholeness and fluidity of what you see will cause you to abandon every concept which can only portray reality in an abstract, fragmented, static kind of way. In that moment of sight, you will also drop every formula and book and guide and guru.
What is it that you will see? Anything. Everything. A falling leaf. The behavior of a friend.
The ripples on the surface of a lake. A pile of stones, a ruined building, a crowded street, a starry sky whatever. But with fresh eyes unclouded by past experiences, unconditioned by any prejudice, by any formula. After you have seen, someone may attempt to help you put your vision into words. But you will shake your head.
No. Not that. That\'s just another formula. Someone else will attempt to explain the meaning of what you saw, and you will shake your head again because meaning is a formula. Something that can be put into concepts.
Something that makes sense to the thinking mind. Whereas what you saw is beyond all formula and therefore beyond all meaning. And having seen, a mysterious change will come about in you. Barely perceptible at first but radically transforming. You will never be the same again because you will feel the exhilarating confidence and freedom that comes to those who know that every formula, no matter how sacred, is worthless.
And you will never again call anyone your teacher. Then you will never cease to learn as each day you observe and understand afresh the whole process and movement of life. Then every single thing and person and event will be your teacher. So put your books and formulas aside. Dare to abandon your teacher, whoever your teacher may be, and see things for yourself.
Dare to look at everything around you without fear and without formula, and it won\'t be long before you see. He sent the people away. After doing

that, he went up to the mountain to pray alone. It grew late, and he was there all by himself. Has it ever occurred to you that you can only love when you are alone?
What does it mean to love? It means to see a person, a thing, a situation as it really is and not as you imagine it to be and to give it the response that it deserves. You cannot love what you do not even see. And what prevents us from seeing? Our mental conditioning, our concepts, our categories, our prejudices and projections, our needs and attachments, the labels we have drawn from our conditioning and from our past experiences.
Seeing is the most arduous thing a human being can undertake, for it calls for a disciplined, alert mind. Whereas most people would much rather lapse into mental laziness than take the trouble to see each person and sing anew in present moment freshness. To drop your conditioning in order to see is arduous enough, But seeing calls for something more painful still, the dropping of the control that society exercises over you, a control whose tentacles have penetrated to the very root of your being so that to remove it is to tear yourself apart. If you wish to understand this, think of a little child that is given a taste for drugs. As the drug penetrates the body of the child, it becomes addicted, and its whole being cries out for the drug.
To be without the drug is so unbearable or dormant that it seems preferable to die. Now this is exactly what your society did to you when you were a child. You were not allowed to enjoy the solid, nutritious food of life, birth, and play and the company of people, and the pleasures of the senses and the mind. You were given a taste for the drugs called approval, appreciation, attention, The drug called success, prestige, power. Having got a taste for these artificial stimulants, you became addicted and began to dread their loss.
Hence, the control. You now feel terror at the prospect of failure, of mistakes, of the criticism of others. So you become cravenly dependent on people, and you have lost your freedom. Others now have the power to make you happy or miserable. And much as you now hate the suffering that this involves, you find yourself completely helpless.
There is never a minute when, consciously or unconsciously, you are not keenly attuned to the reaction of others, marching to the drum of their demands rather than dancing to the melody that wells up from within your being. When you are ignored or disapproved of, you experience a loneliness so unbearable that you crawl back to people to beg for the comfort, the drug known as support, encouragement, reassurance. To live with people in this state involves never ending tension, But to live without them brings the agony of loneliness. You have lost your capacity to see them exactly as they are and to respond to them accurately. Mostly, your perception of them is clouded by the need to get you a drug.
The consequence of this is terrifying and unescapable. You have become incapable of loving anyone or anything. If you wish to love, you must learn to see again. And if you wish to see, you must give up your drug.

You must tear away from your being, the tentacles of society which have penetrated to the marrow.
You must drop out. Externally, everything will go on as before. You will continue to be in the world but will no longer be of it because your heart will now be free at last and utterly alone. It is only in this aloneness, this utter solitude, that dependence on your drug will die and the capacity to love is born. For one no longer sees others as means to satisfy one\'s addiction.
Only someone who has attempted this knows the terror of the process. It is like inviting yourself to die. It is like asking the poor drug addict to give up the only happiness he has known and to replace it with a taste for bread and fruit and the clean fresh morning air and the sweetness of the water from the mountain stream while he is struggling to cope with his withdrawal symptoms and with the emptiness that he experiences within himself now that his drug has gone. To his fevered mind, nothing can fill the emptiness except his drug. Can you imagine a life in which you refuse to enjoy a single word of approval or appreciation or to rest your head on any shoulder in which you depend on no one emotionally, so no one has the power to make you happy or miserable anymore.
You refuse to need any particular person or to be special to anyone or to call anyone your own. Even the birds of the air have their nests and the foxes their holes, but you will have nowhere to rest your head in your journey through life. If you ever get to this stage, you will at last know what it means to see with a vision that is clear and unclouded by fear or desire, And you will know what it means to love. But to come to the land of love, you have to pass through the pains of death. For to love persons means to have died to the need for persons and to be utterly alone.
How would you ever get there, My ceaseless awareness and the infinite patience and compassion that you would have for a drug addict. You must also develop a taste for the

Of what use is it to you to gain the whole world if you suffer the loss of your soul? Recall the kind of feeling you have when someone praises you. When you are approved, accepted, applauded. And contrast that with the kind of feeling that arises within you when you look at the sunset or the sunrise or nature in general, or when you read a book, or watch a movie that you thoroughly enjoy. Get the taste of this feeling and contrast it with the first.
Namely, the one that was generated within you when you were praised. Understand that the first type of feeling comes from self glorification, self promotion. It is a worldly feeling. The second comes from self fulfillment, A soul feeling. Here is another contrast.
Recall the kind of feeling you have when you succeed, when you have made it, when you get to the top, when you win a bet or a game or an argument. And contrast it with the kind of feeling you get when you really enjoy the job you are doing. When you are absorbed in the action that you are currently engaged in. And once again, notice the qualitative difference between the worldly feeling and the soul feeling. Yet another contrast.
Remember what you felt like when you had power. You were the boss. People looked up to you. Took orders from you. Or when you were popular.
And contrast that worldly feeling with the feeling of intimacy, companionship. The times you thoroughly enjoyed in the company of a friend or with a group in which there was fun and laughter. Having done this, attempt to understand the true nature of worldly feelings namely, the feelings of self promotion, self glorification. They are not natural. They were invented by your society and your culture to make you productive and to make you controllable.
These feelings do not produce the nourishment and happiness that is produced when one contemplates nature or enjoys the company of one\'s friends or one\'s work. They were meant to produce thrills, excitement, and emptiness. Having reflected on this, observe yourself in the course of a day or of a week, and think how many actions of yours are performed. How many activities engaged in that are uncontaminated by the desire for these thrills, these excitements that only produce emptiness. The desire for attention, approval, fame, popularity, success, or power.
And take a look at the people around you. Is there a single one of them who has not become addicted to these worldly feelings? A single one who is not controlled by them, hungering for them, spending every minute of his or her waking life, consciously or unconsciously seeking them. When you see this, you will understand how people attempt to gain the world, and in the process, lose their souls. For they live empty soulless lives.
And here is a parable of life for you to ponder on. A tourist bus is passing through gorgeously beautiful country, lakes and mountains and green fields and rivers. But the shades of the bus are down, And the tourists do not have the slightest idea of what lies beyond the windows of the bus. And all the time of their journey is spent in squabbling over who will have the seat of honor in the bus. Who will be applauded?

Who will be well considered? And so they remain till journey\'s end. None of you can be a disciple of mine without taking leave of all his possession. If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Take a look at the world and see the unhappiness around you and in you.
Do you know what causes it? You will probably say loneliness or oppression or war or hatred or atheism. And you will be wrong. There is only one cause of unhappiness. The false beliefs you have in your head.
Beliefs so commonly held that it never occurs to you to question them. Because of these false beliefs, you see the world and yourself in a distorted way. Your programming is so strong and the pressure of society is so intense that you are literally trapped into perceiving the world in this distorted kind of way. There is no way out because you do not even have a suspicion that your perception is distorted. Your thinking is wrong, and your beliefs are false.
Look around and see if you can find a single genuinely happy person free from insecurities, fears, tension, worries. You will be lucky if you found 1 in a 100000. This should lead you to suspect the programming and the beliefs that you and they hold in common. But you have also been programmed not to suspect, not to doubt, Just to trust the assumptions that have been put into you by your tradition, your culture, your society, your religion. And if you are not happy, you have been trained to blame yourself, not your programming, not your cultural and inherited ideas and beliefs.
What makes it even worse is the fact that most people are so brainwashed that they do not even realize how unhappy they are. Like the man in a dream who has no idea that he is dreaming. What are these false beliefs that block you from happiness? Here are some. 1st, you cannot be happy without the things that you are attached to and that you consider so precious.
Charles, there is not a single moment in your life when you do not have everything that you need to be happy. Think of that for a minute. The reason why you are unhappy is because you are focusing on what you do not have rather than what you have right now. Another belief, happiness is in the future. False again.
Right here and now, you are happy, and you do not know it because your false beliefs and your distorted perceptions have got you caught up in fears, anxieties, attachments, conflicts, guilt, and a host of games that you are programmed to play. If you would see through this, you would realize that you are happy and do not even know it. Yet another belief, happiness will come if you manage to change the situation you are in and the people around you. Not true. You foolishly squander so much energy trying to rearrange the world.
If changing the world is your vocation in life, go right ahead and change it. But do not harbor the illusion that this is going to make you happy.

What makes you happy or unhappy is not the world and the people around you, but the thinking in your head. As well search for an eagle\'s nest on the bed of an ocean, as search for happiness in the world outside of you. So if it is happiness that you see, you can stop wasting your energy trying to cure your baldness or build up an attractive body or change your residence or job or community or lifestyle or even your personality.
Do you realize that you could change every one of these things? You could have the finest looks and the most charming personality and the most pleasant of surroundings and still be unhappy. And deep down, you know that this is true, but still you waste your effort and energy trying to get what you know cannot make you happy. Another false belief. If all your desires are fulfilled, you will be happy.
Not true. In fact, it is these very desires and attachments that make you tense, frustrated, nervous, insecure, and fearful. Do they not? Make a list of your attachments and desires. And to each of them say, deep down in my heart, I know that even after I have got you, I will not get happiness.
And ponder on the truth of those words. The fulfillment of desire can, at the most, bring flashes of pleasure and excitement. Don\'t mistake that for happiness. Your own experience should have taught you that pleasure soon becomes wearisome, and excitement infallibly leads to border. Whereas, one never tire of the thing called happiness.
What then is happiness? Very few people know and no one can tell because happiness cannot be described. Can you describe light to people who have been sitting in darkness all their lives? Can you describe reality to someone in a dream? Understand your darkness, and it will vanish.
Then you will know what light is. Understand your nightmare for what it is and it will stop. Then you will wake up to reality. Understand your false beliefs and they will drop. Then you will know the taste of happiness.
If people want happiness so badly, why don\'t they attempt to understand their false beliefs? First, because it never occurs to them to see them as false or even as beliefs. They see them as facts. So deeply have they been programmed. 2nd, because they are scared to lose the only world they know, the world of desires, attachments, fears, social pressures, tensions, ambitions, worries, guilt with the flashes of the pleasure and relief and excitement which these things bring.
Think of someone who is afraid to let go of a nightmare because after all, that is the only world he knows. There you have a picture of yourself and of other people. If you wish to attain to lasting happiness, you must be ready to hate father, mother, even your own life, and to take leave of all your possessions. How? Not by renouncing them or giving them up.
Because what you give up violently, you are forever bound to, but rather by seeing them for the nightmare they are. And then whether you keep them or not, they will have lost their grip over you, their power to hurt you.

And you will be out of your dream at last, out of your darkness, your fear, your unhappiness. So spend some time seeing each of the things you cling to for what it really is, a nightmare that causes you excitement and pleasure on the one hand, but also worry, insecurity, tension, anxiety, fear, unhappiness on the other. Father and mother, nightmare.
Wife and children, brothers and sisters, nightmare. All your possessions, nightmare. Your life as it is now? Nightmare. Every single thing you cling to and have convinced yourself that you cannot be happy without?
Nightmare. Then you will hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even your own life. Your life as you live it now. And you will so easily take leave of all your possessions. That is, you will stop clinging.
And thus have destroyed their capacity to hurt you. Then at last, you will experience that mysterious state that cannot be described or uttered. The state of abiding happiness and peace. And you will understand how true it is that everyone who stops clinging to brothers or sisters, father, mother, or children, land or houses, it is repaid a 100 times over and gains the state of timelessness called eternal life. If a man wants to sue you for your shirt, let him have your coat as well.
And if a man in authority makes you go 1 mile, go with him too. Take a look at the way you have been put together and the kind of existence you are leading. Inside your head, there is a programming, a set of demands about how things should be and about how you want things to be. Who did the programming? Not you.
It isn\'t you who decided how you want things to be. The programming was done by your parents, your society, your culture, your religion, your past experiences. They are the ones that have dictated to you how the world of things and people should be and what your wants and values and tastes and attitudes and desires should be. No matter where you go, your computer, your programming goes along with you and is active and operating at each conscious moment of the day, imperiously insisting that its demands be met by the world, by people, and by you. If the demands are met, the computer allows you to be peaceful and happy.
If they are not met, the computer generates negative emotions within you even when you are not responsible. For instance, when other people don\'t live up to your expectations, the computer torments you. It torments you with frustration or anger or bitterness. Or another example, when things are not in your control or the future is uncertain, your programming insists that you must experience anxiety, tension, worry. Then you spend a lot of energy coping with these negative emotions, and you generally cope by expending a lot more energy trying to rearrange the world of things and people around you so that the demands of your computer will be met, and you will be granted a measure of precarious peace.
Precarious because any moment, something, a trifle, a delayed train, a tape recorder that doesn\'t work, a letter that doesn\'t arrive, anything is going to be out of conformity with your computer\'s programming, and the computer will insist that you become upset again. And so you live a

pathetic existence, constantly at the mercy of things and people around you, trying desperately to make them conform to your computer\'s demands so that you will enjoy the only peace you have ever known, A temporary respite from negative emotions, courtesy of your computer and your program. Is there a way out? Yes. You are not going to be able to change your programming all that quickly or perhaps ever.
And you don\'t even need to. Try this. Imagine you are in a situation or with a person that you find unpleasant, that you would ordinarily a boy. Now observe how your computer instantly becomes active, insisting that you avoid the situation or try to change it. And if you stay on there and refuse to avoid it, insisting that you experience irritation or anxiety or guilt or some other negative emotion.
Now keep on looking at this unpleasant situation or person with whom you find yourself until you realize that it isn\'t they that are causing the negative emotions. They are just going their way, being themselves, doing their thing, right or wrong, good or bad. It is your computer that, thanks to your programming, insists on your reacting with negative emotions. Someone else in your place faced with the same unpleasant situation or person or event would react quite calmly, even happily. Don\'t stop looking till you see this.
The only reason why you are not reacting calmly and happily is your computer that stubbornly demands that reality be rearranged to conform to its program. Observe all this from the outside, so to speak, and see what happens to you. Once you have achieved this, once you have seen what is going on, You may take any action you think fit. You may avoid the situation or the person, or you may try to change the situation. Whatever, but only after you have seen this.
For then, your action will spring from peace and love, not from the neurotic desire to appease your computer, to conform to your programming. How to get rid of your negative emotions? Then you will understand how beautiful are the words. If a man wants to sue you for your shirt, let him have your coat as well. If a man in authority makes you go one mile, go with him too, For you will have understood that true oppression, the real oppression, comes not from people who fight you in court or from imperial authority that subject you to all kinds of slave labor.
But from your computer, from your programming. That\'s the oppression from which you need to be liberated. There alone is true and final liberation from a which all reform and all revolutions must spring. Mod at the end, put postscript, insist on your rights if you wish. That\'s all.
Has it ever struck you that you have been programmed to be unhappy? That no matter how hard you try to be happy, you are doomed to fail. It is as if you fed mathematical equations into a computer, and then you expect it to give you lines from Shakespeare. If you wish to be happy, stop trying to be happy and start understanding how you have been programmed. This is what happened.
1st, your society, your culture taught you to believe that you would not be happy without certain persons and certain things. Just take a look

around you. Everyone has built their lives on the belief that without certain things, money, power, success, approval, a good reputation, love, friendship, spirituality, god. They cannot be happy. What is your combination?
The next step in your programming, the moment you swallow that belief, the belief that without certain things or certain people, you cannot be happy, you develop an attachment. An attachment is the conviction that you can\'t live or can\'t be happy without something or someone. Now stop for a moment and contemplate in horror the endless list of attachments that you are a prisoner to. Think of concrete things, not extractions. Having picked up these attachments, that is this belief that you cannot manage without these things.
You strive might and main at every waking moment to rearrange, to change the world of things and people around you to fit your attachments. Since it is quite impossible to do this, You are doomed to a life of frustration, anxiety, worry, insecurity, constant suspense and tension. At any moment, the world that you have so painfully arranged to suit your attachments will change. And so you are doomed to a life of constant unhappiness. For a few fleeting moments, the world does rearrange itself to suit your attachments.
Then you become briefly happy, But analyze that happiness of yours. It isn\'t happiness. It is a flash of excitement accompanied by the underlying fear that you will lose control of the world at any moment. And check these things out and see if they are true. Each time you are anxious and afraid, it is because you may lose or fail to get the object of your attachment.
Is it not? And each time you feel jealous, it is because someone may make off with what you are attached to. And almost all your anger comes from someone standing in the way of your attachment, does it not? And see how paranoid you become when your attachment is threatened. You cannot think objectively.
Your whole vision becomes distorted, does it not? And every time you feel bored, is it not because you are not getting a sufficient supply of what you believe will make you happy, of what you are attached to. And when you are depressed and miserable, the cause is clear to everyone. Life is not giving you what you are convinced you cannot manage without, you cannot be happy without. So there you are loaded down by your attachments, telling everyone that you want to be happy, striving desperately to attain happiness.
The very notion is laughable, isn\'t it? There is only one thing that you need to become happy. Get deprogrammed. Get rid of those attachments. But contrary to popular belief, you do not need a surgeon\'s knife for this, and the process is not one bit painful.
On the contrary, getting rid of attachments is a delightful occupation, and what is needed is not effort or violence, but sight. All you need is to see that you do not really need the object of your attachment at all. That you were programmed, you were brainwashed to think that you cannot

be happy or you cannot live without this person or thing. Remember how heartbroken you were once when you thought that you could never be happy again because you lost someone or something that was precious to you? But then what happened?
After a while, you learned to get on pretty well, didn\'t you? That should have alerted you to the trick your mind is playing on you. An attachment isn\'t a reality. It is a belief, a thought, a conviction in your head acquired through programming. If that thought or belief did not exist in your head, you would not be attached.
You would love things and persons. You would enjoy them thoroughly, but lacking the belief you would be without the attachment. And so to end this meditation, ask and review now all of those attachments of yours 1 by 1. Inspect each one of them and say, I am not attached to you at all. I am only fooling myself into the belief that without you, I won\'t be happy.
Just do this honestly and see what happens to you. I am not attached to you at all. I am only fooling myself into the belief that without you, I won\'t be happy. Foxes have holes, and the birds of the air, their nests,
but I have nowhere to rest my head. Here make in their relationships with others.
They try to build a steady nesting place
life. Think of the people whose love you
important to these people, to be special
lives? Do you want them to care for you and be concerned about you in a special way? If you do, you are foolishly inviting them to restrict your freedom for their benefit, to control your behavior, your growth and development, so that it will suit their interest.
You are even inviting them to reserve you for themselves. It is as if these people said to you, if you want to be special to us, then you must meet our conditions. Because the moment you cease to live up to our expectations, you will cease to be special to us. You wanted to be special to someone, didn\'t you? So you must pay a price in lost freedom.
You must dance to the other person\'s tune. Just as you demand that other person\'s dance to yours, if you if they want to be special to you. Pause now to ask yourself if it is worth paying so much for so little. Imagine you say to someone whose special love you want, leave me free to be myself, to think my thoughts, to indulge my tastes, to follow my inclination, to behave in ways that I decide are to my liking. The moment you say those words, you will understand that you are asking for the impossible.
To ask to be special to someone means, essentially, to be bound to the task of making yourself pleasing to that person, and therefore to lose your freedom. Take all the time you need to real to understand this. Maybe now you are ready to say, I would rather have my freedom than your love. If you could either have company in prison or walk the earth in freedom all alone, which would you choose? Now say to this person, I leave you free to be yourself, to think your thoughts, to indulge your
is a mistake that most people
in the ever moving stream of
desire. Do you want to be
and make a difference to their

tastes, follow your inclinations, behave in any way that you decide is to your liking.
The moment you say that, you will observe 1 of 2 things. Either your heart will resist those words, and you will be exposed for the tinger and the exploiter that you are. So now is the time to examine your false belief that without this person, you cannot live or cannot be happy. All your heart will pronounce the words sincerely. And in that very instant, all control, manipulation, exploitation, possessiveness, jealousy will drop.
I leave you free to be yourself, to think your thought, indulge your taste, follow your inclinations, behave in ways that you decide are to your liking. Say those words again, and you will notice something else. The person automatically ceases to be special and important to you, when you are able to honestly say those words. And he or she becomes important in themselves. The way a sunset or a symphony are lovely in themselves.
The way a tree is special in itself and not for the fruit or the shade that it can offer you. Your beloved will then belong not to you, but to everyone, or to no one, like the sunrise and the tree. Test it by saying those words again. I leave you free to be yourself, to think your thoughts, indulge your tastes, follow your inclinations, behave in ways that you decide are to your liking. In saying those words, you have set yourself free.
You are now ready to love. For when you cling, what you offer the other is not love, but a chain by which both you and your beloved are bound. Love can only exist in freedom. The true lover seeks the good of his beloved, which requires especially the liberation of the beloved from the lover. The Master said, Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town, and bring me in the poor, the crippled, the blind, and the lame.
Think of someone whom you dislike someone you generally avoid because his or her presence generates negative feelings in you Imagine yourself to be in this person\'s presence now and watch the negative emotions arise. You are quite possibly in the presence of someone who is poor, crippled, blind, or ill. Now understand that if you invite this person, this beggar from the streets and alleys into your house, that is into your presence, he or she will make you a gift that none of your charming pleasant friends can make you rich as they are. He or she is going to reveal yourself to you, and to reveal human nature to you. A revelation as precious as any found in scripture.
For what will it profit you to know all the scriptures if you do not know yourself? The revelation that this beggar is going to bring is going to widen your heart till there is room in it for every living creature. Can any person make you a finer gift than that? Now take a look at yourself reacting negatively and understand the following truth. You are not in charge of this situation.
This situation is in charge of you. That is the first revelation. With it comes another. The way to be in charge of this situation is to be in

charge of yourself, which you are not. How does one take charge of oneself?
All you have to do is to understand that there are people in the world who, if they were in your place, would not be negatively affected by this person. They would be in charge of the situation above it, not subject to it as you are. Therefore, your negative feelings are caused not by this person as you mistakenly think, but by your programming. Here is the 3rd and major revelation. Your negative feelings are caused not by this person, but by your programming.
See what happens when you really understand this. Having received these revelations about yourself, listen to this revelation concerning human nature. This behavior this trait in the other person that causes you to react negatively Do you realize that he or she is not responsible for it? You can only hold on to your negative feelings when you mistakenly believe that he or she is free and aware and therefore responsible. But whoever did evil in freedom and awareness?
The ability to do evil or to be evil comes not from freedom, but from sickness. It is not a privilege, but a disease. For it implies a lack of consciousness and sensitivity. Those who are truly free cannot sin as God cannot sin. This poor person here in front of you is crippled, blind, lame, not responsible and free as you so foolishly thought.
Understand this truth. Look at it steadfastly and deeply, and you will see your negative emotions transform into understanding and compassion. Suddenly, you have room in your heart for someone who was formally consigned to the streets and the alleys by others and by you. And with this comes yet another revelation, Namely, the understanding that whereas you thought that it was this person who was crippled and handicapped, You now realize that it is you who were crippled by your programming. It is you who were blind in not understanding human nature as it really is.
Now you will realize that this beggar came to your home with an arms for you. The widening of your heart in compassion, and the release of your spirit in freedom. That was the arms. Where before you used to be controlled, these persons had the power to create negative emotions in you, and make you go out of your way to avoid them. Now you have the freedom to avoid no one and to go anywhere.
You may still avoid this person, but no longer because he or she generates negative emotions in you, but rather for other reasons. You may be busy. You may prefer the company of others. When you see this, you will notice how to the feeling of compassion in your heart, has been added the feeling of gratitude to this beggar, whom you now see as your benefactor. And another new unaccustomed feeling, you actually feel a desire to seek out the company of these growth producing, crippled people the way someone who has learned to swim seeks water.
Because each time you are with them where before you used to feel the oppression and tyranny of negative feelings, you now actually feel an ever expanding compassion and the freedom of the skies. And you can barely recognize yourself as you see yourself going out eagerly to the

streets and alleys of the town in obedience to the master\'s injunction to bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind, and the lame. The kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and it is the violent who carry it off. Compare the serene and simple splendor of a rose in bloom with the tension and restlessness of your own life. The rose has a gift that you lack.
It is perfectly content to be itself. It has not been programmed from birth as you have been to be dissatisfied with itself, So it hasn\'t the slightest urge to be anything other than it is. That is why it possesses the artless grace and absence of inner conflict that among humans is only found in little children and mystics. Consider your sad condition. You are always dissatisfied with yourself, always wanting to change yourself.
So you are full of violence and self intolerance which only grows with every effort that you make to change yourself. So any change you achieve is always accompanied by inner conflict And you suffer when you see others achieve what you have not and become what you are not. Would you be tormented by jealousy and envy if, like the rose, you were content to be what you are and never aspired to what you are not? But you are driven, are you not, to be like someone else who has more knowledge, better looks, more popularity or success than you. You want to become more virtuous, more loving, more meditative.
You want to find God to come closer to your ideals. Think of the sad history of your efforts at self improvement that either either ended in disaster or succeeded only at the cost of struggle and pain. Now suppose you desisted from all efforts to change yourself and from all self dissatisfaction, Would you then be doomed to go to sleep having passively accepted everything in you and around you? No. There is another way besides laborious self pushing on the one hand and stagnant acceptance on the other.
It is the way of self understanding. This is far from easy because to understand what you are requires complete freedom from all desire to change what you are into something else. You will see this if you compare the attitude of a scientist who studies the habits of ants without the slightest desire to change them with the attitude of a dog trainer who studies the habits of a dog with a view to making it learn something. If what you attempt is not to change yourself, but to observe yourself, to study every one of your reactions to people and things without judgment or condemnation or the desire to reform yourself. Your observation will be non selective, comprehensive, never fixed in rigid conclusions, always open and fresh from moment to moment.
Then you will notice a marvelous thing happening within you. You will be flooded with the light of awareness. You will become transparent and transform. Will change occur then? Oh, yes, in you and in your surroundings, but it will not be brought about by your cunning, restless ego that is forever scheming to improve others and yourself, forever competing, comparing, coercing, sermonizing, manipulating in its intolerance and its ambition, thereby creating tension and conflict and resistance between you and nature.

An exhausting self defeating process like driving with your brakes on. No. The transforming light of awareness brushes aside your scheming, self seeking ego to give nature full rein to bring about the kind of change that she produces in the rose. Artless, graceful, unselfconscious, wholesome, untainted by inner conflict. Since all change is violent, she will be violent.
But the marvelous quality of nature violence, unlike ego violence, is that it does not spring from intolerance and self hatred. So there is no anger in the raging storm that carries everything before it or the fish that devour their young in obedience to ecological laws, we do not we know not, or bodily cells that destroy each other in the interests of a higher good. When nature destroys, it is not from ambition or greed or self aggrandizement, but in obedience to mysterious laws that seek the good of the whole universe above the survival and well-being of the past. It is this kind of violence that arises within the mystics who storm against the ideas and structures that have become entrenched in their societies and cultures. When awareness awakens them to evils their contemporaries are blinded to.
It is this violence that causes the rose to come into being in the face of forces hostile to it. And it is to this violence that the rose like the mystic will sweetly succumb after it has opened its petals to the sun and lived in fragile fleeting loveliness. Quite unconcerned to add a single extra minute to its allotted span of life. And so it lives in blessedness and beauty like the birds of the air and the flowers of the field. With no trace of the restlessness and dissatisfaction, The jealousy and anxiety and competitiveness that characterize the world of human beings who seek to control and coerce rather than be content to flower into awareness, leaving all change to the mighty force of God in nature.
Master, they said to him, we know that you pay deference to no one and teach in all honesty. Look at your life and see how you have filled its emptiness with people. As a result, they have a stranglehold on you. They control your behavior by their approval and disapproval. They hold the power to ease your loneliness with their company to send your spirit soaring with their praise to bring you down to the depths with their criticism and rejection.
Take a look at yourself, spending almost every waking minute of your day, placating and pleasing people. Whether they be living or dead. You live by their norms, conform to their standards, seek their company, desire their love. You dread their ridicule. You long for their applause.
You meekly submit to the guilt they lay upon you. You are terrified to go against the fashion in the way you dress, or speak, or act, or even think. And observe how you are just as dependent on them and enslaved by them. When you control them, as when they control you. So when you grip an object tightly, you have gained control of the object, but are also controlled by it, for you have lost the use of your hand.
People have become so much a part of your being that you cannot even imagine living a life that is unaffected by them. As a matter of fact,

they have convinced you that if you ever broke free of them you would become an island. Solitary, bleak, unloving. But the exact opposite is true. How can you love someone whom you are a slave to?
How can you love someone whom you cannot live without? You can only desire, need, depend, fear, and be controlled. Love is found only in fearlessness and freedom. How can you achieve this freedom? By means of a 2 pronged attack on your dependency.
1st, awareness. For it is impossible to be dependent, to be a slave, when you constantly observe the folly of your dependence. But awareness may not be enough for a person whose drug is people. You must cultivate activities that you love. You must discover work that you do not merely for its utility, but for itself.
Think of something that you love to do for itself, whether it succeeds or not. Whether you are praised for it or not. Whether you are loved and rewarded for it or not. Whether people know about it and are grateful to you for it or not. How many activities can you count in your life?
That you engage in, simply because they delight you and grip your Soul? Find them out. Cultivate them. For they are your passport to freedom and to love. Here too you have probably been brainwashed into the following consumeristic way of thinking.
To enjoy a poem or a landscape or a piece of music, is a waste of time. You must produce a poem or a composition or a work of art. Even to produce it, is of little value in itself. Your work must be known. What good is it, if no one ever knows it?
And even if it is known, that means nothing, If it is not applauded and praised by people. Your work achieves maximum value, if it becomes popular and sells. So you are right back again into the arms and the control of people. The value of an action according to them is not in its being loved and enjoyed for itself, but in its success. The royal road to reality, trodden by the mystic, does not pass through the world of people.
It passes through the world of action which is engaged in for itself, without an eye to success or to gain. Non profit action. This is what brings contact with reality. Contrary to popular belief the cure for lovelessness and loneliness is not found in company, but in contact with reality. The moment you touch reality, you will know what freedom is.
What love is. Freedom from people. And so, the ability to love people. You must not think that for love to arise in your heart, you must first meet people. That would not be love at all, but attraction or compassion.
Rather, it is love that first springs in the heart, through your contact with the real. Not love for any particular person or thing, but the reality of love. An attitude. The disposition of love. So love in itself has no object.

Love simply is. It may be activated, but it is not created by the presence of others. It arises unprovoked within the heart, then radiates outwards to the world of things and people. If you desire that this love should exist in your life, you must break loose from your inward dependence on people by becoming aware of it and by engaging in activities that you love to do for themselves. Only then will you attain the freedom that is fearlessness and love, which is the total absence of fear.
But as for you, you must call no one your teacher. You can get someone to teach you things mechanical or scientific or mathematical. Like algebra or English or riding a cycle or operating a computer. But in the things that really matter Life, Love, Truth, God no one can teach you a thing. All they can give you is formulas.
If you take those formulas, you will have not reality, but reality filtered through the mind of someone else. Not truth, but someone else\'s version of it. This applies even to your own formulas, which will offer you not reality, but reality filtered through a mind conditioned by past experience. All that the mind can offer is concepts that make sense to the mind. Whereas reality makes no sense to the mind at all.
It is beyond thought. It is a mystery, and so it must be grasped. If it can be grasped at all, beyond thought and beyond formulas. Look at it this way. There have been moments in your life when you had an experience that you know you will have to carry with you to your grave because you are quite unable to find words, because there simply are no words in human language that can communicate the experience to anyone.
Think of the kind of feeling that came upon you when you saw a bird fly over a lake, or observed a blade of grass peeping out of a crack in the wall, or heard the cry of a baby at night, or suddenly sensed the loveliness of a naked human body, or gazed at a corpse lying cold and rigid in a coffin. You may try to communicate the experience inadequately, distortedly through music or poetry or painting. But in your heart, you know that no one will ever comprehend exactly what it was you saw and sensed. This is something you are quite powerless to express, much less teach to another human being. Now that is exactly how powerless a master feels when you ask him to teach you about life or God or reality.
All he can give you is a set of words strung together into a formula. But of what use are those words? Imagine a bus with its shades down, filled with tourists who don\'t see or hear or touch or smell a thing of the strange exotic land that they are passing through. While all the time their guide chatters away, giving them what he thinks is a vivid description of the world outside. The only sights and smells and sounds they will experience will come from the images that his words create in their heads.
And let\'s suppose that when the bus stops, he sends them forth with formulas about what they can expect to see and experience. Their experience will be limited, conditioned, distorted, contaminated by those formulas. And they will perceive not the reality that is there before

them, but the reality that the guide wants them to see. They will look selectively, or they will project formulas onto the windows through which they perceive. So all they are likely to see is their own formulas.
So what can teachers do? They can bring to your notice what is unreal.
They cannot show you the real. They can destroy your cannot make you see what the formula is pointing to.
They can indicate your error. They cannot put you in
truth. Their formulas can, at the most, point in the
reality. They cannot tell you what it is or what to see. You will have to walk out there alone and discover it for yourself.
To walk alone, that means, to walk away from every formula. The ones your family and your culture gave you, the ones you learned from books, the ones that you yourself invented in the light of your past experiences. That is probably the most terrifying thing a human being can undertake to do. Expose himself to reality, unprotected, unguided by any formula. To walk away from the world and into the desert as the prophets and mystics did is not to walk away from human company, but to walk away from human formulations.
Then, even though you are surrounded by people, you are truly and utterly alone. What an awesome solitude. That solitude, that aloneness, is silence. It is only in this silence that you will see. And the moment you see the sheer concreteness and the wholeness and fluidity of what you see will cause you to abandon every concept which can only portray reality in an abstract, fragmented, static kind of way.
In that moment of sight, you will also drop every formula and book and guide and guru. What is it that you will see? Anything. Everything. A falling leaf, the behavior of a friend, the ripples on the surface of a lake, a pile of stones, a ruined building, a crowded street, a starry sky, whatever.
But with fresh eyes, unclouded by past experiences, unconditioned by any prejudice, by any formula. After you have seen, someone may attempt to help you put your vision into words. But you will shake your head. No. Not that.
That\'s just another formula. Someone else will attempt to explain the meaning of what you saw, and you will shake your head again. Because meaning is a formula. Something that can be put into concepts. Something that makes sense to the thinking mind.
Whereas what you saw is beyond all formula. And therefore beyond all meaning. And having seen, a mysterious change will come about in you. Barely perceptible at first, but radically transforming. You will never be the same again, because you will feel the exhilarating confidence and freedom that comes to those who know that every formula, no matter how sacred, is worthless.
And you will never again call anyone your teacher. Then you will never cease to learn as each day you observe and understand afresh the whole
formulas. They
possession of the
direction of

process and movement of life, then every single thing and person and event will be your teacher. So put your books and formulas aside. Dare to abandon your teacher, whoever your teacher may be, and see things for yourself. Dare to look at everything around you without fear and without formula.
And it won\'t be long before you see. He sent the people away. After doing that, he went up to the mountain to pray alone. It grew late, and he was there all by himself. Has it ever occurred to you that you can only love when you are alone?
What does it mean to love? It means to see a person, a thing, a situation as it really is and not as you imagine it to be, and to give it the response that it deserves. You cannot love what you do not even see. And what prevents us from seeing? Our mental conditioning, our concepts, our categories, our prejudices and projections, our needs and attachments, the labels we have drawn from our conditioning and from our past experiences.
Seeing is the most arduous thing a human being can undertake for it calls for a disciplined, alert mind. Whereas most people would much rather lapse into mental laziness than take the trouble to see each person and thing anew in present moment freshness. To drop your conditioning in order to see is arduous enough. But seeing calls for something more painful still, the dropping of the control that society exercises over you, a control whose tentacles have penetrated to the very root of your being so that to remove it is to tear yourself apart. If you wish to understand this, think of a little child that is given a taste for drugs.
As the drug penetrates the body of the child, it becomes addicted and its whole being cries out for the drug. To be without the drug is so unbearable or dormant that it seems preferable to die. Now this is exactly what your society did to you when you were a child. You were not allowed to enjoy the solid nutritious food of life, birth and play and the company of people and the pleasures of the senses and the mind. You were given a taste for the drugs called approval, appreciation, attention, the drug called success, prestige, power.
Having got a taste for these artificial stimulants, You became addicted and began to dread their loss. Hence, the control. You now feel terror at the prospect of failure, of mistakes, of the criticism of others. So you become cravenly dependent on people, and you have lost your freedom. Others now have the power to make you happy or miserable.
And much as you now hate the suffering that this involves, you find yourself completely helpless. There is never a minute when consciously or unconsciously you are not keenly attuned to the reaction of others marching to the drum of their demands rather than dancing to the melody that wells up from within your being. When you are ignored or disapproved of, you experience a loneliness so unbearable that you crawl back to people to beg for the comfort, the drug known as support, encouragement, reassurance. To live with people in this state involves never ending tension, but to live without them brings the agony of loneliness. You

have lost your capacity to see them exactly as they are and to respond to them accurately.
Mostly, your perception of them is clouded by the need to get your drug. The consequence of this is terrifying and unescapable. You have become incapable of loving anyone or anything. If you wish to love, you must learn to see again. And if you wish to see, you must give up your drug.
You must tear away from your being, the tentacles of society which have penetrated to the marrow. You must drop out. Externally, everything will go on as before. You will continue to be in the world but will no longer be of it because your heart will now be free at last and utterly alone. It is only in this aloneness, this utter solitude, that dependence on your drug will die and the capacity to love is born.
For one no longer sees others as means to satisfy one\'s addiction. Only someone who has attempted this knows the terror of the process. It is like inviting yourself to die. It is like asking the poor drug addict to give up the only happiness he has known and to replace it with a taste for bread and fruit and the clean fresh morning air and the sweetness of the water from the mountain stream. While he is struggling to cope with his withdrawal symptoms and with the emptiness that he experiences within himself now that his drug has gone.
To his fevered mind, nothing can fill the emptiness except his drug. Can you imagine a life in which you refuse to enjoy a single word of approval or appreciation or to rest your head on any shoulder in which you depend on no one emotionally, so no one has the power to make you happy or miserable anymore. You refuse to need any particular person or to be special to anyone or to call anyone your own. Even the birds of the air have their nests and the foxes their holes, but you will have nowhere to rest your head in your journey through life. If you ever get to this stage, you will at last know what it means to see with a vision that is clear and unclouded by fear or desire.
And you will know what it means to love. But to come to the land of love, you have to pass through the pains of death. For to love persons means to have died to the need for persons and to be utterly alone. How would you ever get there, my ceaseless awareness and the infinite patience and compassion that you would have for a drug addict? You must also develop a taste for the

It\'s nice having all of you here this evening. I was thinking what I would want to talk to you about, all sorts of things. But let me, begin with something that people are always saying to me. They know I\'m a Catholic priest, and so they say to me, could you help us to pray? You know, I\'ve written a book on prayer.
Could you help us to pray better? So let\'s begin with that. How could we pray better? For that, you might have to revise your notions on prayer somewhat radically, and that\'s what I\'m hoping to be able to do for you this evening. Let me begin by telling you what I think prayer is not, and maybe the best way to tell you that is by telling you a story.
There\'s this guy who comes to see a great Sufi master, and he says to the master, master, so great is my trust in God that I haven\'t even tied my camel to the post outside. I have left it to the providence of God and the care of God. And the Sufi master says, go out and tie that camel to the post, you fool. God cannot be bothered doing what you can do for yourself. Pretty good, That is very important to keep in mind when we talk about prayer.
God cannot be bothered doing for you what you can do for yourself. Reminded of the Jewish rabbi who had served God faithfully all his life, and he said one day to God, God, I have been a devout worshiper, and I have kept the law as best I could, and I\'ve been a good Jew. Now I\'m old, and I need some help. Let me win the lottery. Well, help for my old age.
Well, he prayed and he prayed and he prayed and he prayed, and 1 month went by, and 2 and 3 and 5, and a whole year went by, and 3 years went by. And the man in desperation one day said, God, give me a break. And God said, give me a break yourself. Buy a ticket. Well, that\'s well, that will give you some idea what prayer is not.
Let me tell you what I think prayer is. I\'ll tell it to you also in the form of a story. There\'s this guy who invented fire. And as soon as he invented the art of making fire, he goes up to the north where you have these hill tribes shivering in the cold, and he begins to teach them the art. And he shows them the value of being able to be warm in the winter, cooking their food.
It would help with their buildings, and they learned enthusiastically. They had hardly learned it when he went somewhere else. He didn\'t even give them time to thank him because he was a great man. And, you know, great people, they\'re not bothered about being remembered. They\'re not bothered about being thanked.
They want your good. So he disappeared, and he went to another tribe, and he began to teach them to to make fire. Well, the people were enthusiastic, but he began to get more and more popular. And the priests feared that their own popularity would diminish, so they decided to get rid of him. So what did they they poisoned him.
And since there was a suspicion among the people that they had done this, what they did was this, they were very clever. They made a portrait of

the man. They put it up there on the high altar of the temple, and they got everyone to venerate the great inventor of fire. And they had the instruments for making fire also placed on that main altar there, and everybody would venerate it and they developed a whole rite and a whole liturgy for the veneration of the great inventor and the tools for making fire. The veneration, the worship went on decade after decade, century after century, but there was no fire.
You want to know what prayer is? Fire. Where\'s the fire? That\'s prayer. That\'s prayer.
Anything you do to get the fire, that\'s prayer. You\'re praying for weeks months years. No fire. No prayer. No prayer.
Plenty of goodwill, but no prayer. Why do you call me lord, lord, and fail to do what I tell you? And they will come to me and say, lord, we work miracles in your name, and he\'d say, I don\'t know you. Not interested. Funny.
He was less interested in lot, lot than we seem to be. He was more interested in, why don\'t you do what I tell you? Now be careful about that. Don\'t think that good works are necessarily prayer. You know, people will often quote the words of the Lord at the last judgment, I was hungry and you gave me to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me to drink.
Well, there\'s someone else who says, if I gave my body to be burnt and all my goods to feed the poor and did not have love, It is all worthless. Remember? So the deed itself isn\'t what would really be valuable because there are some good deeds that are really good. There are other good deeds that are corrupt. Meister Eckhart, a great German mystic, puts it powerfully.
He says, you should bother less about what you ought to do and think more about what you ought to be, because if your being were good, then your works would shine forth brightly. So it\'s your being that needs to be transformed. That\'s the fire. How would you transform your being? What would you do?
Nothing. For your being to be transformed, you need to see, to see something which will change you. You don\'t get changed by working on yourself. Here in this country, you\'re pretty famous for fixing things, and that\'s a great gift. But when you try to fix persons, you\'re likely to run into trouble.
You don\'t have to do anything. You\'ve got to see things in a new way. The great George Fox put it so well. He said, when he had this tremendous experience, this tremendous enlightenment or illumination, he said the whole world was the same, but it looked different. It gave forth a different fragrance, change that comes about through seeing something.
The metanoia, the repentance, repent for the kingdom of God has come. Repentance doesn\'t mean crying for your sins. Repentance means look at everything in a new way. A change of mind, a change of heart, like that

guy who says to his wife, he says, I\'ve changed my mind. She says, thank god.
I hope the new one will function better. So that\'s what it\'s all about. Literally, another mind, another way of looking at things, another way of seeing everything. That\'s the transformation we\'re talking about. When that comes, you change, your deeds change, your life change changes.
That\'s the fire. Now what do you need in order to see things in a new way? Get ready for a big surprise. You don\'t need strength. You don\'t don\'t need youthfulness.
You don\'t need self confidence. You don\'t need willpower. You don\'t need effort. What do you think you need? You need the willingness to think the unfamiliar, the willingness to see something new, and that\'s the last thing that most human beings want.
They don\'t want to see anything different from what they\'ve been seeing all along. That\'s why when Jesus came, he had so much difficulty with his good news, not only because it was good, People don\'t like to hear good things. They want to suffer. They want to be miserable, so they don\'t know it. You read that book, Games People Play, and you\'ll discover how they\'re unconsciously wanting to produce their suffering.
So they don\'t like the good part of the good news, but they don\'t like the new part of the good news. Tell you what I\'m gonna do during this first program. I\'m going to give you something by which you can test yourself. Are you ready to look at things in another way? But a caution in the beginning, don\'t take anything that I\'m saying because I\'m saying it because it wouldn\'t do you any good.
You probably swallowed too much from other people. Now don\'t you swallow anything from me. I love those great words of Buddha. He says, monks and scholars must not accept my words out of respect, but must analyze them the way a goldsmith analyzes gold by rubbing, scraping, cutting, melting. That\'s the way to do it.
On the one hand, openness, receptivity. On the other hand, the willingness to question, to think for yourself. Otherwise, you will lapse into gullibility, into mental laziness. We don\'t want that. So here comes the first test.
Might be something of a shock to some of you, so go ahead and get ready. Hold on to those chairs of yours. Okay? Are you suffering? Do you have problems?
Could it be said of you that you\'re not enjoying every single minute of your life? Did you enjoy the last 3 hours, every single minute of those last 3 hours? If the answer is no, if the answer is you are suffering, you are disturbed, you do have problems, there\'s something wrong with you, seriously wrong. You\'re asleep. You\'re dead.
Now I bet that with most of you, no one has ever told you this. This is natural to have problems. It\'s human to suffer. I\'d better explain that

bit about suffering. You know, you could be in pain and suffer, or you could be in pain and not suffer.
There\'s a great master who was asked by his disciples, what did enlightenment bring you? And he says, well, before enlightenment, to be depressed. After enlightenment, I continue to be depressed. there\'s a big difference. Suffering means to be disturbed by your depression.
I used But
That\'s what I mean by suffering. Okay? Because some of you are going to be asking me questions. You better get this clear now. Suffering means to be disturbed by your pain, by your depression, by your anxiety.
It\'s quite likely that as you embark upon this way of prayer, in the beginning, the depressions will continue to come and the anxieties will continue to come. But, you know, in the old days, these were like clouds that pass through the sky, and you identified yourself with the clouds. Now you\'re the sky. You\'re detached from them, but they continue to come and go. Before enlightenment, I used to be depressed.
After enlightenment, I continue to be depressed. Well, where do you think suffering comes from? People say from life. Life is tough. Life is hard.
The Chinese have a marvelous saying. They say, in all the universe, there is nothing so cruel as nature. There is no escape from it, and yet it isn\'t nature that does the damage, but the person\'s own heart, that\'s where the suffering comes from. It isn\'t life that is hard on you. It is you who take it hard.
I\'m gonna show you this. Last month, somebody in New York told me that there\'s an African tribe that when they sentence people to death, they don\'t have the gallows, they don\'t have the executioner\'s ax, they don\'t have any electric chair. You know what they do? They banish them. You are sent into exile, and within a week, the man or the woman dies.
They just die. We say, you killed them. The sentence of banishment killed them. No. No.
You know why? You and I would probably be banished and we might feel it a bit, but we wouldn\'t die for heaven\'s sake. What do you think killed him? He killed himself. His programming killed him.
His way of looking at that banishment, that\'s what killed him, not the banishment itself. You\'ve heard of students everywhere in the world who take their examination so seriously that if they fail the exam, they commit suicide. Now you and I might feel it a bit if we fail the examination. We wouldn\'t commit suicide. What do you think killed that guy?
What do you think killed that girl? The failure? No. The way she reacted to the failure. When you\'re planning a picnic and your picnic gets rained out, what\'s causing the negative feeling in you?

The rain or your reaction? You know, this comes as a big shock to people who\'ve been praying for decades but never saw this. That\'s one of the dangers of prayer. It might prevent you from see getting the fire. Apply this to yourself.
I\'m going to go slowly now. Okay? So think even as I talk. You may want to close your eyes if you want if you would rather have that, or you could keep your eyes open as I\'m talking. Think of something that is disturbing you right now during these days or something that disturbed you in the recent past?
Think. An attempt to understand that the disturbance is not coming from outside, not from the events, not from those things, not from the fact that somebody died or that you made a mistake or that you met with an accident or that you lost your job or your money. Uh-uh. Mm-mm. Doesn\'t come from there.
It comes from the way that you are reacting to the event, to the person, to the thing that is upsetting you. If somebody else had been in your place, he or she would quite conceivably not be disturbed. You are. How come? We need to do something with you, not with reality for the time being, but most people will plunge headlong into changing reality.
A couple of weeks ago, I was in Saint Louis, and there was a priest there who came up to me and said he had helped a friend who was suffering from AIDS. And, he said a strange thing happened to this man. He said to me, I only began to live when the doctor told me that I had AIDS and I was sure to die. Would you believe that? He said, I\'ve helped about 30 people like this, and he said, anywhere from 12 to 15 said something similar to me.
How would it be that one person would react in one way, another in another to the same stimulus that has something to do with your programming? Somebody broke his promise to you. Somebody rejected you. Someone abandoned you. You know something?
No one has ever hurt you in the whole of your life. No one. No event has ever upset you. This was done by you. In fact, it wasn\'t even done by you because we wouldn\'t do this deliberately.
It was done by your conditioning, by your programming, by the way you looked at things and at life. That\'s what needs to be changed, the change of mind. Let me give you another test. Think you could do this again. You could close your eyes if you want to.
You could leave your eyes open. Think of any problem you have with any person. Maybe some of you already took this before, but think, any person, do you find this person unreliable, selfish, rejecting? Do you find this person irritating, lazy, moody? I\'m reminded of the woman who goes to her doctor, and the doctor, the psychiatrist says to her, did you wake up grumpy this morning?
She says, no. He was fast asleep, so I thought I\'d let him be. She said, yeah. Okay. Think of someone like this.

Now you know if you\'re having difficulties with this person, get ready for a shock. There\'s something wrong with you. What do you mean there\'s something wrong with TB? Exactly what I said. There\'s something wrong with you.
There are no difficulties in dealing with human beings. None. If we could change you, everything would change. Let\'s see if you can grasp this. If you change, they would change.
You\'re really seeing people not as they are, but as you are? Let\'s go over that slowly. You are a pain in the neck, let\'s suppose, to me. Alright. Now I\'m all upset.
I\'m disturbed. Bad sign. There\'s something wrong with me. I have to change. How come you have the power to upset me?
How come you have the power to decide whether I will be happy or miserable? So I don\'t demand that you change. First, I won\'t protect you from the consequences of what you\'re doing. Someone said so nicely, in nature, there are no rewards and no punishments. There are only consequences.
I\'m not going to be a rescuer and prevent the consequences. Grow up and take them, including maybe being arrested and being thrown into jail. 2nd, I won\'t let you push me around. That\'s for sure. I\'ll say no.
People are too scared to say no. They\'re too frightened to say no. They\'re too frightened to tell people to mind their own business. You live life as you see fit. Leave me alone to live my own life.
And then they complain. There\'s something no. No. There\'s something wrong with you. So with these two provisos, I\'m not going to protect you from the consequences, and I\'m not going to push you around.
You could do whatever you want and take the consequences, but I\'m not disturbed. Imagine you\'re waiting in a line for a ticket and somebody breaks the line. Can you imagine how crazy it is that because someone has misbehaved, you\'re going to punish yourself. It\'s like taking a sledgehammer and hitting yourself on the head. You\'re gonna get angry.
You\'re going to let your blood pressure go up. You\'re going to lose your sleep. This is crazy, and everybody says it\'s normal. Well, they\'re all lunatics. That\'s all.
They\'re lunatics. If everybody\'s saying something, you can be pretty sure it\'s wrong. And what would you expect from lunatics? They think it\'s natural. So if people are bugging you, they\'re upsetting you, this is a glorious opportunity to understand yourself, to understand your programming, to realize that the upset is coming, not from them, but from your programming.
I\'m not saying don\'t do something about whatever. That\'s fine. You wanna do something? That\'s fine. But if you\'re doing it to relieve your negative feelings, that\'s awful.

Secondly, before acting, you\'d better see things clearly. And if you\'re all upset and disturbed, you\'re not seeing. Any emotion, especially if it\'s a powerful one will come in the way of you seeing things clearly. So when you\'re not disturbed, you can be much more effective, and you\'re much more perceptive, and you have much more power. One last test because we\'re coming to the end.
Try this one. Your happiness or our happiness is never caused by anything. True happiness is uncaused. How about that one? See, I saw quite a few eyebrows go up on that one.
You know, if somebody causes your happiness, if a new job is causing your happiness, that isn\'t happiness at all. That\'s the fulfillment of a desire. I desire something, I go for it, I get it. I feel excited. I feel a thrill.
I feel gratification. I feel pleasure, and I get weary of it after a while, don\'t I? Or I become anxious lest I lose it, don\'t I? That\'s not happiness. That\'s kicks.
That\'s drills, the fulfillment of desire. Sometimes I think almost everybody has been programmed to be unhappy. They cannot not be unhappy. So they go through life suffering ups and downs like the pendulum. You see, you\'re all excited, you\'ll be correspondingly depressed when you lose that thing that you were excited about, or you get tired and you\'re looking for more.
That isn\'t happiness. Happiness is uncaused. When nothing can hurt you, no event, no person, no thing, you\'re happy. What do you do to be happy? Nothing.
You don\'t do anything, you drop something. You drop an illusion. You drop a wrong idea. How do you drop it? By seeing that it is wrong, then you drop it.
You know those African tribe, that African tribe I was talking about? Why do you think this person would die when he or she are ban is banished? Because they\'ve added something to reality from their programming. Your unhappiness is caused by something that you have added. That addition causes unhappiness.
How do you become healthy? Drop your sickness, and you\'re healthy. You don\'t acquire health. Health isn\'t something, it\'s the absence of sickness. The Chinese put it so well, when the eye is unobstructed, the result is sight.
When the ear is unobstructed, the result is hearing. When the palate is unobstructed, the result is taste. When the mind is unobstructed, the result is wisdom and happiness. If you could drop your illusions, you would be happy. It sounds like you\'re describing a kind of stoic, model of of being that this is completely completely above any kind of passion or excitement, enthusiasm.

Wonderful. Wonderful. It seems as if I\'m describing a stoic way of being, which is above, very well said, any hurt or any excitement. True. You know, if you have sharks, lashing about in the water, do you want to be down there with them?
Isn\'t it interesting that they\'ve told us it\'s human to be like this? It\'s human when someone else is drowning, to be drowning with them. But you know something? You\'re not going to be of any help if you yourself are drowning. And if you\'re all in turmoil emotionally, think.
You lose your objectivity. You lose your power of action. Is it possible to love, to be compassionate, to be full of energy to help, and not to be disturbed? That\'s what you\'ve got to think. Who else?
Yes. I think of Jesus being Would you say that again? I think of Jesus being very disturbed in the temple with the money changes, for example. Okay. Jesus was disturbed with the money lenders.
We could add one more. How about the agony in the garden? Now you mustn\'t take those money lenders as being literally losing his temper. I told you you could get into action, but you want your blood pressure to go up. You could swing into action.
You\'ll be more effective. You know how the surgeon swings into action when he cuts? And if he was really disturbed in the agony, isn\'t it wonderful that he would also sometimes suffer from his programming as we suffer from ours, and pretty soon he studies himself? Because we\'re told that he studies himself pretty soon. That\'s wonderful.
Any other question? Yes. If you take a child or you take let\'s say a child that is born with a physical handicap, that is not anything that they wished upon themselves or they they can train their own mind. Okay. Wonderful.
We got that. So the idea is, suppose a child is handicapped or a child is sick, you know, I know a Jesuit who\'s a polio victim, and he he\'s really crippled and handicapped. He\'s one of the happiest people I\'ve ever met. It all depends on how the child society and family reacts to that. If they think it\'s a calamity and there are oohs and ahs, then, of course, this is what the child is going to pick up.
I\'ve seen people in awful health with cancer suffering intense pain. So you know something? They\'re happy. They\'re happy. They\'re not suffering because suffering means you\'re fighting it.
Suffering is means, how long is this going to last? You know another secret? The present moment is never intolerable. What\'s intolerable is what\'s going to happen in the next 4 hours. To have your body here at 8 PM and your mind at 10:30 PM, that\'s what causes the suffering.
To have your body here in Dallas and your mind in San Francisco, that\'s what causes the suffering. One last question. Yes. My question is the relationship between this, feeling of love and the and the attaining it

through prayer or how is what form of prayer, is required in order to reach this condition? Okay.
The form of prayer that is required to meet this condition is awareness. Not gimme, gimme, gimme. Go tie your camel, you fool, you fool. God cannot be bothered doing for you what you can do for yourself. There was a man who came to a guru, a master, and said, today\'s your day of silence, but I can only be here for one day.
Would you please write me one sentence that could guide me for my life? And the guru nodded affably, took a pad, wrote, awareness, gave it back to him. But this is too brief. Could you expand on it a little? Take it back, awareness, awareness, awareness.
He said, yes, but what does this mean? Take it back and so, awareness, awareness, awareness means awareness. Alright. So once again, what is prayer? Prayer is fire.
Fire meaning transformation that comes about from seeing one\'s illusions and dropping them. Maybe we will take up some of these illusions in our next program. In the previous program, I spoke to you about prayer and what prayer was about. Let me recapitulate some of that for you. Let me show you what prayer can do for a person and what it is not.
And once again, let me do that in the form of a story. Here\'s a good image of life that I picked up somewhere in a book once. You\'re sitting in a theater listening to a concert, and suddenly you remember that you forgot to park your car. Oh, sorry. You forgot to lock it, and you\'re anxious.
You cannot get up now and go unlock your car. You cannot concentrate on the symphony, and you\'re caught between 2 things. I thought, what a lovely image of life. Let me give you a contrast to that. There\'s a great Japanese story of a guy who\'s running away from a tiger.
He comes to a precipice and he begins to slide down the precipice, then he grabs hold of a branch of a tree that\'s growing on the side of the precipice. He looks up, and there is this tiger looking at him, and there\'s no way of crawling up. He looks down, there\'s a drop of about 10,000 feet, and next to him, there\'s a bush, a berry bush, and the berries are ripe. So he plucks one of those berries, puts it in his mouth, and it tasted so sweet. He was able to live life one moment at a time, which is the only way to live it which is the only way to live it.
But it sounds like an impossible feat, doesn\'t it? Did you hear how those South African mines were discovered? It\'s very interesting. There was this man sitting, a tourist or a traveler, sitting at the door of the hut of the village headman. He saw the village headman\'s children playing with something that looked like marbles.
He picked one of them up and looked at it, and his heart began to race. It was a diamond. So he said to the village headman, you know, my children back home also play with things like this. They call them marbles. Could I take a few of these back with me?

I\'d be ready to give you some tobacco for them. And the village headband said, we\'ve got millions of these here. I mean, it would be robbery to take your tobacco, but I\'d be happy to take anything you gave me. So I gave him the tobacco, goes back home, sells those diamonds, comes back, buys all of that land, and becomes the richest man in the world. The point of the story is those people were living on top of a treasure and did not know it.
That is another image of life. The life is a banquet, but most people are starving. They never discover the treasure. A lovely story from my country of a man who sees a wandering mendicant pass by the village, and he rushes up to him and says, give me the stone. Give me the stone, the precious stone.
And the mendicant says, what stone are you talking about? Last night, the Lord Vishnu appeared to be in a dream, said the man, and he said, a wandering mendicant will be passing by the village at about 11 in the morning. If he gives you the stone he has, you will be the richest man in the world. So the the mendicant rubbaged in his little sack, pulled out this diamond and said, is this what you\'re looking for? Was the largest diamond in the world.
Yes, said the man. Would you give it to me? Of course, take it. Found it somewhere there in my wanderings. The man takes the diamond and he\'s he\'s going to go back home, but then something strikes him.
He sits under a tree and he ponders all day. Towards evening, he comes back to the mendicant and he says to him, I don\'t want this diamond. Could you give me the riches that makes it possible for you to give this thing away? That is what prayer could do if properly practiced and properly understood. It would give you the riches that would make all of these things, they wouldn\'t matter at all.
Someone said so well, life is something that happens to us while we\'re
busy at something else. We\'re busy trying to impress everyone. busy trying to look good. We\'re busy trying to live the to win Olympics. We\'re busy trying to succeed, and life passes us by.
I read the story the other day of a woman who died in New York
ago. There, she was living on hot dogs and skimping, going around looking for shoe boxes to heat in her apartment. That\'s how they found out. They found her. She was almost starving to death.
She was over 90. They take her to the hospital. 3 weeks later, she dies. When they cleaned out her apartment, they found nearly $300,000 there. Another perfect image.
There is something within us that\'s precious, a precious pearl. There\'s a treasure there. The kingdom of God is within you. If we could only discover that. Thomas Carlyle put it so well.
He said, the great tragedy of life lies not in how much we suffer, but in how much we miss. And there\'s another mystic who says human beings are
We were the
some years

born asleep, they live asleep, and they die asleep, but that is so true. Maybe they\'re not born asleep, They\'re born awake. But by the time they develop their brains, they fall asleep. And they they breed children in their sleep.
They they bring them up in their sleep. They go in for big business in their sleep. They go into government in their sleep, and they die in their sleep. They never wake up. That is what spirituality is all about, to wake up.
You\'re moving around in a drunken stupor. It\'s as if you were hypnotized. You\'re drugged, and you you don\'t know what you\'re missing. How would we get out of this? How would we awake?
How do you know that you\'re asleep? I told you that in the previous program. Are you upset and disturbed? Do you have problems? Are you not enjoying life?
Never doubt it. You\'re fast asleep. The mystics tell us that when they see what they\'ve been looking at all along but had never seen, they discover an overflowing joy in the heart of things. Without a single dissenting voice, they tell us overflowing love and joy everywhere. And even though they would have pain and what we call sufferings, there\'s a tremendous joy which nothing can shake or take away from them.
How do we get this? Through understanding. I talked about those illusions of ours. If you would see your illusions and your erroneous ideas, they will drop, you will change, but that you have to do. It\'s useless saying to God, gimme gimme gimme.
Remember, go and tie that camel of yours. God cannot be bothered doing for you what you can do for yourself. Like the guy whose beard is burning, and they say your your beard is on fire. He says, but can\'t you see me praying for rain? I\'m doing something about it.
You\'re saying, lord, that I may see and you\'ve got your eyes tightly shot. Understanding, awareness, the willingness to see. Now I\'m gonna take one big illusion that almost everyone suffers from, and I\'m going to talk about it during this program. If you could get released from that, oh, how you would come away. Let me explain it in this way.
It\'d be a kind of a meditation that you and I will do together. Think of a little child. It\'s given a taste for drugs. As it grows up, the whole body of that child is craving for the drug. To live without the drug brings a pain and a suffering so great that it seems preferable to die.
You and I, as children, were given a drug. It was called approval. It was called appreciation. It was called praise, success, acceptance, popularity. Once you took the drug, society could control you.
The tentacles of society got into you. You become a robot. You want to see what kind of a robot existence human beings live? Listen to this. You\'ve got the robot who comes here, and I say, my, you\'re looking pretty, and the robot goes right up.

I press a button called appreciation and right up it goes. Then I press another button called criticism flat on the earth. Total control. We\'re so affected by this, we\'re so easily controlled by it. And when we\'re deprived of it, we become so terrified, We\'re so frightened to make mistakes.
We\'re so frightened that people will laugh at us. I saw a little kid once, 3 years old. She wandered into our dining room dressed in her nightie. So we we sort of applauded. She thought we were laughing at her.
She ran away and her mother had to carry her in while she was struggling. She didn\'t want to come. She thought we had laughed at her, and I thought, she\'s only 3 years old, but already we\'ve made a little monkey out of her. Somebody taught her this, that when you do this, she\'s supposed to feel good, and when you say boo, she\'s supposed to feel bad. Once you give her that drug, she\'s finished.
You think Jesus Christ was controlled by this kind of thing, by what people thought of him and what they said about him? Awake people break out of this drug. And when you make a mistake or when you\'re rejected, you feel such a tremendous emptiness, such a loneliness, you keep crawling back, begging for that drug called encouragement, acceptance, belonging. So they got us nicely controlled. How do you get out of it?
First of all, let\'s see some of the results. You know something? As a result of having taken this drug, you have lost your ability to love. You know why? Because you cannot see any human being anymore.
You\'re so conscious of whether they accept you or they don\'t, whether they approve of you or they don\'t, you\'re seeing them as a threat to your drug or as a support to your drug. Think of the politician. The politician frequently doesn\'t see people at all, he sees votes, and if you\'re neither a threat nor a support to his getting votes, he doesn\'t even notice you. The businessman, he sees big bucks. He doesn\'t see people.
He sees business deals, but we\'re no different if we\'re under the effect of this drug. The robot, I like you, and the robot will automatically, mechanically react. Oh, he\'s good. He likes me. I don\'t like you.
He\'s awful. He doesn\'t like me. See? The drug. How can you love what you do not even see?
Want to get rid of the drug? You have to tear those tentacles out of your system. They\'ve gone to the marrow of your bones. This control that society exercises over you by seeing what they are doing to you. If you\'re able to do that, everything will be the same, but you will have dropped out.
You will be in the world, but you will no longer be of the world. But you know how terrifying this is? Initially initially, it\'s like asking someone, a drug addict, who\'s going through withdrawal symptoms. It\'s like saying to him or her, listen, why don\'t you enjoy good nourishing

food and clean water from the mountain stream and the nice fresh morning air? Give that up for your drug, he cannot conceive of it.
His he cannot live without it. That\'s how terrible it is. That\'s how terrifying. How do you get out of it? Well, you\'ve got to face that terror, you\'ve got to understand the state you\'re in.
What a terrible state, because you cannot live without people, it brings a tremendous loneliness, but then when you\'re with people there\'s always that tension. You want to love people? You have to die to people. You have to die to your need for people. You have to understand what your drug is doing to you.
As first of all, be patient with yourself. 2nd, call the drug by its name, it\'s an artificial stimulant. You really want to enjoy life, enjoy the pleasures of the senses, enjoy the pleasures of the mind, enjoy your work, enjoy nature, go up to the mountain and enjoy the trees and the stars at night and send the crowds away and you will be completely alone because then love is born in solitude and aloneness. You come to this land of love by passing through the land of death, and you will realize that your heart has brought you to this vast desert. In the beginning, it seems lonely because you\'re not accustomed to it.
You\'re not accustomed to aloneness, which is not the same as loneliness. Lonliness means missing people, aloneness means not needing anyone, enjoying people, but not needing them. Then at last, you can see them, then you will realize that the the desert suddenly blossoms into love, and there\'s a song in your heart, and it is springtime forever. Give yourself proper nourishment, call the drug by its name and be patient the way you would with an addict. What powerful prayer that is.
Let me give you a little meditation. Think of someone whose approval you need, you think you need, whose approval you desperately want, whose appreciation you want, and see if you can understand how in front of this person you have lost your freedom. Try that out. I\'ll give you a few seconds for that. Think of someone who you think is necessary to ease the pain of your loneliness and understand how in front of this person, you have lost your freedom.
You\'re not free. You dare not be yourself. You cannot live like a king or a queen, a princess. Talking about being free, I\'m reminded of this Irish prisoner who digs a tunnel underground his under his prison cell and he makes it to freedom through this tunnel. He comes out in the middle of a school compound and he couldn\'t contain himself, so he begins to jump up and down saying, I\'m free.
I\'m free. I\'m free. There was a little girl watching him scornfully. She says, that\'s nothing. I\'m 4.
What does it mean to live like an emperor, an empress? You know what it means? It means you don\'t have to impress anyone anymore. You\'re completely at ease with everyone because you don\'t desire anything from anyone anymore. Well, I\'ve got to clarify that.

Of course, you desire things from others, but you know the non fulfillment of that desire doesn\'t make you unhappy, see if you can get that. There are 2 types of desires, there\'s the desire on whose fulfillment our happiness depends, There\'s a desire on whose fulfillment our happiness does not depend. I go to a restaurant, I say, do you have mushroom soup? And they say, no, we haven\'t mushroom soup. Girl, you ruined my dinner.
I\'m going out and get let\'s get out of this place. Let\'s go somewhere else. You have mushroom soup? No. What do you have?
How about sweet corn and chicken? Well, that\'s pretty good. I\'d enjoy that too. What about tomato? I\'d enjoy that too.
See? The fulfillment of that desire does not affect your happiness. You\'re happy with it or without it. Like the guy who\'s waiting at the maternity ward, and the nurse comes and says, did you want a boy or a girl, sir? He says, I wanted a girl.
She says, well, I got bad news for you. It\'s a alright. That was my second choice. Not a boy.
How do you get this kind of guy down? When you
yourself anymore to anyone, you don\'t feel the
imagine that? You don\'t feel the need to explain. You don\'t have to impress.
You\'re not bothered by what they say or what they think. It doesn\'t bother you. You\'re unaffected. My. Now love will begin, not till then.
Because you know something, as long as I need you, I cannot love you. As
long as I
up in the
have any.
Who wants
imagine myself as a parent, treating my child without without praise or affection or encouragement. That sounds like when you describe it as a drug, as a bad thing to give a child.
I I I just can\'t imagine myself being a good parent, a loving parent, and not giving that to a child. Okay. Great. Affection is fine. Did you hear me say affection wasn\'t alright?
A parent giving affection is fine. But think of this, we\'re all busy telling people that they\'re okay. You know why? Because somebody told them they were not okay. And you know something, you\'re neither okay nor not okay.
You\'re you. And if you really were you and you were getting nourishment from what I called the pleasures of the senses and the mind, and you were not being drugged by society, you wouldn\'t miss it. There are cultures in which you\'re not okay doesn\'t exist, so neither does you\'re okay exist.
need you for my happiness, I cannot love you. We\'ll take this next program. How about this? I\'ll field a few questions if you
to begin? Okay. Would you stand up, please? I\'m trying to
boy. He says, that\'s
don\'t have to defend
need to apologize. Can you

Sometimes people feel they haven\'t been loved. I say to survived to this age, you\'ve got all the love you need.
Listen to this. A woman who claims that she hasn\'t been
needs it desperately, she goes to the movies and it\'s a
she\'s roaring with laughter. And for 10 minutes, she\'s forgotten that it\'s necessary to be loved, and she\'s happy. What do you know? When she comes out of the theater with her friend and she sees her friend go with her boyfriend, then she thinks nobody loves me, I got no boyfriend.
It\'s like when there was no television, nobody missed it. Now that everybody\'s got television, say, I don\'t have television. See. Loneliness is not cured by human contact, by contact with human beings. It is cured by contact with reality, then you don\'t miss people.
You enjoy them and you don\'t miss them. There\'s a great educationist who says, a man called Neil, some of you are probably familiar with him from his book, Summerhill. He says, the healthy child is always interested in persons, is always, the unhealthy child, is only interested in persons, and is always clinging to its mother\'s skirts. The healthy child has no need for persons. They\'re busy exploring the world.
Well, that was that\'s a good question, helped clarify what I was saying. Anyone else? Oh, there are plenty of questions. That\'s wonderful. Could you stand up, please?
You spoke briefly about spirituality. Could you give us a definition of spirituality? Spirituality is to be awake, to drop your illusions. Spirituality is never to be at the mercy of any event, thing, or person. Spirituality is to have discovered those diamond mines inside of you.
Religion is meant to lead you to this. Alas, if you look at the world, it frequently doesn\'t. A meditation centers around a lovely gospel text of
what use is it to you to gain the world and lose your soul. I\'ll slowly. You can think as I talk.
Think of what you feel when you\'re looking at a sunset or you\'re
with nature and compare that to the feeling you have when you\'re appreciated, you\'re praised, you\'re applauded. The first kind of
I call a soul feeling. The second type, I called call a world feeling. Think of the feeling you have when you win a race or an argument, when you make it to the top, when you\'re successful, world feeling and contrast it with the feeling you get when you\'re doing work that you love, when you\'re immersed in a hobby, when you\'re reading a book that you thoroughly enjoy or watching a movie that you enjoy, soul feeling. Think of the time when you\'re on you\'ve got power, when you\'re the boss, when everyone is looking up to you and the kind of feeling that creates.
World feeling, Contrast that with the joy of intimacy, with the company of friends, you enjoy them without clinging to them, with laughter and merriment, soul feeling. Let\'s take a look at those world feelings. They\'re not natural. They were invented by your society and mine to control us. They do not lead to happiness, only to excitement and thrill and anxiety and emptiness.
them, if you\'ve
loved and she
great comedy and
go a bit
in touch
feeling,

And think of your own life. Is there a single day when you\'re not consciously or unconsciously attuned to what others think, what others feel, and what they will say about you. In other words, controlled by them, marching to the beat of their drum. And look around you and see if you find anyone who is freed from these feelings, world feelings. Everywhere, you will find people immersed in these world feelings because they live soulless, empty lives.
They gained the world, but they lost their soul. And when they come to die, they die without ever having lived. And here is a parable of life. A group of tourists sitting in a bus that is moving through gorgeous countryside, but the shades of the windows are drawn down, and they don\'t see a thing. And they\'re all quarreling among themselves as to who will have the seat of honor, who will be appreciated, who\'s the best, Who\'s the best looking?
Who\'s the most talented? And so it goes right to journey\'s end. If you can understand this, my dear friends, the understanding will melt the addiction and you will be free and you will understand the loveliness of what prayer is. Then you will discover what reality is, what God is, because you will have dropped one of our biggest illusions. The illusion that we need to be appreciated, to be popular, to succeed, to have prestige and honor and power and popularity.
There\'s only one need, and that need is to be real and that need is to love. When one discovers that, one is transformed. One\'s life becomes prayer. Let me begin this program by telling you one of my favorite stories, the story of the camel. There was this, camel owner that was traveling across the desert and pitched tent for the night, and the slaves came in to report that they had 20 camels and only 19 pegs to tie them to.
What did they do? So the master said to them, you know, these camels are stupid creatures. Just go through the motions of driving a peg in the ground and tying this last camel to it, and it will stay put for the whole night, which is exactly what happened. The next morning, when they left a tent and were moving on, the slaves came to report that this camel wouldn\'t budge. Said the master.
You probably forgot to go through the motions of untying him. So they untied him, and, the stupid animal went ahead, went with the others. How like human beings who are so thrilled by things that are not real, illusory and are so terrified by things which are illusory, success, failure, criticism, the good opinion of others as I explained to you in our last program. The other day, I was traveling from the US to Canada as we crossed the Canadian border or the US frontier. The pilot said, well, we\'re up at the US border right now.
You look down through the window, it\'s funny you can\'t see it, you know. Have you realized that that only exists in your mind, that in nature, there is no border? That being an American is only in your head, that there are no American trees or American mountains. This is a convention that people are ready to die for. That\'s how real it looks to them.

Has it ever struck you that Christmas Day doesn\'t exist except in your mind? In nature, there\'s no Christmas Day, but you got Christmassy feeling, Or there\'s no New Year\'s Day and there\'s no illegitimate child. Tell someone he or she is an illegitimate child. Turmoil. But in nature, there is no illegitimate child.
Illegitimacy is a human convention. Tell a kid that he or she is adopted and you run into trouble sometimes. That it\'s in the head. There are cultures where almost everyone is adopted, so nobody bothers. We\'re reacting to words.
We\'re reacting to ideas in our head. We live on ideas. We feed on them, on words, words, words. Reminded of the guy, a farmer who was living on the Russian border, the Finnish Russian border. They were drawing up the frontier, and he had to make up his mind whether he wanted his farm to be in Finland or in Russia.
He chose Finland. The Russian officials descended upon him and demanded to know why he didn\'t want to be in Russia. And he said, look, all my life, I have always wanted to live in mother Russia, but, you know, at this age, I simply wouldn\'t be able to take another Russian winter. Or you\'re Mark Twain who says, cold. If the thermometer had been half an inch longer, we would have frozen to death.
In this program, I want to deal with the illusions connected with love. To talk of prayer is to talk of love, for God is love, love is divine. But what generally goes under the name of love has nothing to do with love at all. Nothing. So let me begin by telling you what love is not and then indicating, however vaguely, what love is.
Love is not attraction. I love you more than I love anyone else.
Translate, I\'m more attracted
You draw me more than others.
to you than to others. How does that sound?
head better than other people do. Not very my programming had been different remember
You fit the programming in my
flattering to you, because if
how people say, what does he find in her? What does he see in her? Uh- huh. They say love is blind.
Attraction is blind, not love. There is nothing so clear sighted as love. This whole process of I\'m attracted to you, you know where the love comes from, comes from you, not from me. It doesn\'t spring from me. You draw me.
The day you cease to be attractive, what happens? Well, I\'ll hold on to you out of guilt, out of loyalty, out of an ideal, but love in your sense of the word has died if for you love means attraction. Gone. I was told of an old couple, grandpa and grandma. They were celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary.
They were tired after all the celebrations, sitting in the veranda, and grandpa felt moved. See? And he said, grandma, I\'m proud of you. What was that, grandpa? She says, you better speak louder.

You know I cannot hear you without my hearing aid. He said, I\'m proud of you. She says, that\'s alright. I\'m tired of you too. You know, that\'s where attraction always ends up.
You\'re attracted. If you give in to that attraction, gratification follows. And after the gratification, wearisomeness. Or if it persists, anxiety. I hope I can keep this.
I hope somebody else doesn\'t get it. Possessiveness, jealousy, fear of loss, that isn\'t love. Another thing that love is not, it is not dependency. Now you know, it\'s very good to depend on people. We depend on one another or else we wouldn\'t have society.
Interdependence. Wonderful. We depend on the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker. We depend on the pilot, on the cab driver, on all sorts of people. But to depend on another for your happiness.
That is the idea, that someone would have the power to decide whether you would be happy or not. If you have that if you ever give to somebody this power, you will be fearful, You will manipulate. You cannot leave that person free because, don\'t forget, your happiness depends on this person. You\'re a burden. Sometimes you get 2 empty people depending on one another.
2 complete, incomplete people depending, leaning on one another. 2 dominoes, one moves, the other falls. Is that love? Love is not the assuaging of our loneliness. People feel empty inside, and they rush to fill the emptiness with someone.
That isn\'t love. Incidentally, that emptiness, that loneliness that so many people are running away from, They run into all kinds of activity, even social activity. They run into work. They run into other people\'s arms to assuage that emptiness, that loneliness. The only cure for that loneliness, I said to you in the previous program, is not contact with human beings, but contact with reality.
What does that mean? If you would face the loneliness, you might discover that it isn\'t there. There is no emptiness. If you would face the illusion that you were programmed into by your society, that you need others, you\'d realize it isn\'t there. You\'re watching a movie, enjoying yourself immensely.
Suddenly, at that moment, you don\'t need anybody. This is an illusion that has been created in our heads, And here\'s something else you may want to remember for the future. Both what you\'re running away from and what you\'re searching for is inside of you. It\'s all there. If you would face what\'s going on inside of you, what you\'re running away from would disappear and what you\'re searching for would emerge.
So love is not the assuring, the soothing of our loneliness. Mostly when people talk about love, you know what they\'re talking about. They\'re talking about a thing of the market. It\'s a bargain. You be good to me, I\'ll be good to you.

You be nice to me, I\'ll be nice to you. You\'re not nice to me? Funny, those nice feelings I had towards you turned sour. Is that love? You could bargain with money.
You could strike a deal with money. You could strike a deal with all kinds of things. You\'re striking a deal with your emotions and that\'s supposed to be love. Here\'s another surprise, love is not desire. I desire you with all my heart, you know, in as much as I love you, I do not desire you.
I enjoy you thoroughly, but I\'m too full to need you. It\'s like when you come, you\'re so enjoyable, and when you leave, I\'m not at all miserable. I\'ll enjoy the next thing and the next and the next person and the next. I\'m full, and if you are full too, how marvelous that is. Centuries ago, Buddha had these marvelous words to say, the world is full of sorrow.
The origin of sorrow, the root of sorrow is desire. The uprooting of sorrow is desirelessness. Let\'s translate that better. Because by desire, he meant a desire on whose fulfillment my happiness depends. And our societies and cultures are the whole time encouraging us to add to these desires.
So we\'re more and more programmed to unhappiness and to non love. The world is full of sorrow. The root of sorrow is craving. The uprooting of sorrow is cravinglessness. I desire all kinds of things, but I don\'t desperately need anything.
If that desire is not fulfilled, I\'ll be quite happy. I explained this in the previous program. Sometimes people say, if you had no desire, would you ever achieve something? If you had no ambition? Like that guy who stands up on a platform and he says, I was born an Englishman, I will live an Englishman and I shall die an Englishman.
And an Irishman in the crowd shouts, man, have you got no ambition? He says, ambition. That\'s one of the things we were brainwashed into. We they told us, if you don\'t have an ambition, you won\'t do anything. They forgot that there\'s so much energy and so much delight in working, whereas the ambition brings tension.
Listen to these marvelous words of the great Chinese sage, Chuang Tzu. They\'re so good, they took the trouble to learn them by heart. Let\'s see if they come out well. And if they don\'t, we won\'t be upset by the failure, will we? Now when an archer shoots for nothing, he says, he has all his skill.
When he shoots for a brass buckle, he is already nervous. When he shoots for a prize of gold, he goes blind. He is out of his mind. He sees 2 targets. His skill has not changed, but the prize divides him.
He cares. He thinks more of winning than of shooting, and the need to win drains him of power. Isn\'t that marvelous? It was your ambition that drained you of power. You were driving with your brakes on.

You were tense. So the world is full of sorrow. The root of sorrow is craving. Marriages that are built on craving are so fragile, so ready to fall apart. I have expectations of you.
You better live up to them, or else You have expectations of me. I\'d better live up to them or else. Quarrels. See, you need me. I need you.
I need to I need to find my happiness in you. You need to find your happiness in me. That\'s where the struggle begins. That\'s where the possessiveness begins. And you know something?
Wherever there is desire in this sense of the word, there\'s a threat. And where there\'s a threat, there\'s fear. And where there is fear, there is no love because we always hate what we fear, and perfect love casts out fear. Whatever this desire of the type that I described, it always goes attended by fear. So love is not desire.
Love is not attachment. Falling in love is the exact opposite of love, and it\'s canonized everywhere. It\'s a disease. Everybody\'s trying to give it to you. You find it in your movies, in your love songs, these are need songs.
I saw a movie the other day. This girl says to this boy who\'s dying, Tom, die. I love you. I cannot live without you. I cannot live without you.
Love, that\'s hunger. So you know something, when I fall in love with you I cease to see you, I don\'t see you anymore. Whenever there\'s a powerful emotion, whether it\'s positive or negative, I cannot see you. The emotion comes in the way. I\'m projecting my own needs onto you.
Falling in love is blind. Attachment. We\'re already moving into what love is. I told you what love is not. You know something?
I cannot tell you what love is. Cannot be said. I cannot tell you what happiness is. It cannot be said. When you drop your fears and your attachments and your illusions, you will know.
I could give you comparisons. Listen to this. To love means at least clarity of perception, accuracy of response. I see you clearly as you are. That\'s the least I could demand in love.
How could I love you if I don\'t see you? Now get ready for a surprise. Generally, when I see you or you see me, we generally we don\'t see one another. We\'re seeing an image. A husband, does he relate to his wife or to his image of his wife?
Is the wife relating to her husband or to her image of her husband? How is this image formed? Watch this. If you think you\'ve been shocked till now, get ready for this one. I have an experience of you.
That experience is stored in my memory. I make a judgment that experience. I\'m carrying this along with me, and I\'m reacting to you on the basis of this, not on the basis of
on the basis of
acting or
what you are

right now. There\'s a picture on my window as I look through it at you. I\'m looking through that picture.
No clarity of perception. There\'s a lovely sentence in in the the New Testament where Paul, speaking of love, says, love keeps no record of wrongs. And I say to people sometimes you\'re going to be very sorry when you get up there and you find they don\'t have any books. It\'s a lovely story of this woman who\'s supposed to be getting visions of God, so the bishop sends for her. And he says, listen.
You\'re creating a great sensation. I suppose you realize that being bishop of the diocese, it is up to me to decide whether those visions are true or false. He says, yes, your excellency. And this is my responsibility and duty. Yes, your excellency.
So you\'re gonna have to do what I tell you. I will, your excellency. He says, now look. The next time that God appears to you or whoever it is that appears to you, you\'re gonna put in this test by which I\'ll know whether he\'s really God or not. She says very well, your excellency.
What is the test? The test is going to be this. You\'re going to say to God, please tell me the private and personal sins of the bishop. And then he says, after God has revealed that to you, if he is God, then you come and tell me and no one else. Okay?
And she said, very well, your excellency. After a month, she comes back, and the bishop said, did God appear to you again? She says, I think so, your excellency. Did you ask him that question? She said, I certainly did.
And what did God say? God said, go tell the bishop I forgot his sins. How about that one? No record. You know something?
Love keeps no records of rights either. No rights, no wrongs, no good, no bad. I see you in present moment freshness, and I react to what\'s here. Shall I react to a memory or to you? A memory, good or bad, that cuts both ways, you know.
We had a quarrel and you come up to me and say, you know, sorry about that quarrel. Quarrel, I remember it, but there\'s no emotion attached to it. It\'s over. That\'s what the mystics are talking about when they talk about the purification of memory. They\'re not saying forget everything, drain it of emotion, sanitize.
And you say, remember how much we were in love 2 years ago? You want me to react to that? You want me to react to react to you as you are now? You want to carry over this capital and get dividends from it? You know, if you come to think of it, it\'s terrifying.
We\'re doing most people are doing the opposite of this, which means they don\'t know what love is. Love is like listening to a symphony. Life is a symphony, and to love means to be sensitive to the whole of that symphony. It means to have a sensitive heart to everyone and to everything. Can you imagine someone who\'s listening to a symphony and

only hears the drums or give so much value to the drums that the other instruments are almost drowned out?
A good musician who loves music will listen to every one of those instruments. He may have his favorite instrument. He may have his preferences, but he listens to them all. When you fall in love, when you have an infatuation, an attachment, an addiction, an obsession with a human being, you know what you\'re doing? That person stands out and the others are drowned out.
Your heart is no longer sensitive. Love is not a relationship. Love is a state of being. Love exists before there\'s any human being around. Before you come around, love already exists.
Namely, the sensitive heart exists always. You don\'t draw that heart. That heart is sensitive to you and responds accurately to you. But then to drown out the drums, that\'s just as bad because you\'re hardening your heart again. This is what love is, to listen to the whole of the symphony, to be sensitive to it all.
I told you when the eye is unobstructed, the result is sight. You cannot do anything to get love. If you would understand your desires, attachments, attractions, obsessions, addictions, and they would drop, love would emerge. When the eye is unobstructed, the result is sight. When the heart is unobstructed, the result is love.
In my country, the poets and the mystics put it so beautifully. They say, is it possible for a rose to say, \'I will give my fragrance to good people and hold it, withhold it from bad people?\' The rose, by its very nature, cannot but love all. Is it possible for a lamp lit in the night to say, I will give my light to the good people in this room and withhold it from the bad? Is it possible for a tree to say, I will give my shade to the good people who sit under me, but withhold it from the bad? It cannot.
And the poet Kabir will say, the tree will give it shade even to the man who is striking it down. And if it is a sweet smelling tree, it will leave its scent on the ax. What merit is it to you of yours if you only greet those who greet you? And if you only love those who love you? You must be all loving as your heavenly father is all loving for he makes his sun to shine on good and bad alike and on saints and sinners alike.
Alright. If you have some questions, I\'ll deal with those. Could you explain what you mean by responding accurately a little more detail? Alright. When you perceive clearly, you really cannot but respond accurately because clarity of perception means you\'ve dropped whatever obstacles there are to seeing.
That seeing is love. You will spontaneously give to each thing the response it deserves. So that\'s what it really means. Anyone else? You\'ve referred off and on to prayer that a response is prayer, various things are prayer.

Where does the answer to the prayer or God\'s side of this prayer come in? Right. What I\'ve been referring to is not so much the lord, lord, but do what I tell you. This is the prayer I\'ve been talking about. See?
The 2 types of prayer, there\'s the lord, lord, that\'s pretty good, and there\'s something much better. Do what I tell you. You know something? There are people who do what he tells them without ever saying lord, lord, or even having heard of the lord. Does that make sense to you?
Does it? Does it? Yes. Wonderful. And there are people who are full of lord, lord, but mighty little else.
So it\'s like people saying, lord, we work miracles in your name. We pray to you day night. I do not know you. So to do what I tell you, that is love of god. To be transformed into love, that is love of god.
Then you will know what god is. Then you will know what reality is. Alright. Let me sum up for you what I was saying in this program. I talked about a major illusion that we have, the illusions concerning love.
In the previous programs, I dealt with other illusions. Prayer, love, spirituality, religion means drop your illusions. In as much as religion helps you to do this, it\'s fine. In as much as it distracts you from it, takes you away from it, It\'s a disease. It\'s a plague.
It must be avoided. Once these illusions would drop, the heart will be unobstructed, then there will be love, then there will be happiness, then there will be transformation, and only then will you know what god is.