The Secrets of Exceptional Counselors

Title Page......Page 5
Copyright......Page 6
Dedication......Page 7
Preface: Tricks of the Trade......Page 8
Acknowledgments......Page 11
About the Author......Page 12
Chapter 1: A Tough Lesson that Forever Changed the Way I Work......Page 13
Secrets and Best Practices During First Contact......Page 16
A Cherished Secret......Page 18
Wandering in the Dark......Page 21
When You Feel Awkward and Lost......Page 23
Behind the Curtain......Page 25
Reconciling the Need for Definitive Answers With the Realities of Uncertainty......Page 28
Chapter 3: Theories are Simply Flexible Frameworks......Page 30
Theories are Stories to Explain Things......Page 31
Theoretical Purity is No More......Page 32
Some Notable Figures Chime in with their Secrets......Page 34
Chapter 4: Developing your Own Voice......Page 38
Conflicts and Arguments that Stifle Individual Voices......Page 39
Sorting Out Clanging Voices......Page 40
Going Beyond the Master......Page 41
The Secret to Developing a Signature Style of Practice......Page 42
Chapter 5: Assessing and Diagnosing Differently......Page 44
Looking Backward to Move Forward......Page 45
Assessing Strengths and Resources......Page 47
And Then What Happened?......Page 50
Some Essential Assessment Questions......Page 51
Love is a Four-Letter Word......Page 53
Listen to What is Not being Said—and Other Subtleties......Page 55
Being Fully Present......Page 56
Mindfulness: The Gift That Keeps on Giving......Page 57
Deep Listening has Never Been More Important......Page 58
Chapter 7: Don\'t Forget the Context and Culture......Page 60
A Reconceptualization of What Culture Means......Page 61
Cultural Constructions......Page 62
Challenging Personal Assumptions and Colonized Discourse......Page 64
Chapter 8: There are No Difficult Clients, Only Difficult Counselors......Page 67
Be Careful What You Ask People......Page 68
Blame the Client......Page 69
On Demonstrating Flexibility and Adaptability in the Face of So-Called Resistance......Page 72
Outside Influences on the Therapeutic Relationship......Page 74
Rules of Engagement With Challenging Clients......Page 76
Honoring the Client\'s Theory of Change......Page 78
Relational Protections and Transformations......Page 79
The Value of Experiential Learning and Boundary Considerations......Page 82
Chapter 10: It Takes Chutzpah......Page 85
The Food Chain......Page 86
Going Beyond What is Convenient and Familiar......Page 88
Personal and Professional Development......Page 89
Chapter 11: Clients Lie—a Lot—and It Might Not Matter......Page 91
What to Believe?......Page 92
When to Challenge, When to Question, When to Wait......Page 95
The Meanings of Deception......Page 96
Dark Secrets......Page 97
Chapter 12: Techniques Sometimes Matter......Page 99
The More the Better?......Page 101
Not a Technique but a Way of Being with Clients......Page 102
When It\'s Time to Do Something......Page 103
Experience Counts—All Kinds of Experience......Page 107
Advanced Techniques that May be Common but are Very, Very Difficult to Do Well......Page 109
Masters Reveal Some Secrets......Page 111
The Power of Direct Experience......Page 114
Accessing Alternative Modalities......Page 116
Impediments to Creativity......Page 117
Secrets to Accessing Greater Creativity......Page 119
Chapter 15: Who Changes Whom?......Page 124
Some Questions to Consider......Page 125
The Stories We Hear......Page 127
Who Impacts Us and Why?......Page 129
Failures that are Never to Be Forgotten......Page 133
What is Bad Counseling Anyway?......Page 135
Processing Mistakes and Failures......Page 139
Chapter 17: Practicing What you Preach......Page 142
Our Authentic Selves in Action......Page 143
Exceptional Counselors: Who are They . . . and How Do I Become One?......Page 145
Appendix: Some Challenging Questions for Aspiring Exceptional Counselors......Page 148
Technical Support......Page 150
End User License Agreement......Page 151