The rules of love

Cover......Page 1
Title page......Page 4
Copyright page......Page 5
Contents......Page 8
Introduction......Page 14
Rules for finding love......Page 17
 1 Be yourself......Page 19
 2 Get over it before you get on with it......Page 21
 3 You won’t be happy with a partner until you can be happy on your own......Page 23
 4 You’ll know them when you meet them......Page 25
 5 Choose someone who makes you laugh......Page 27
 6 Being less than a hundred per cent attractive is a great filter......Page 29
 7 Don’t keep making the same mistakes......Page 31
 8 Certain people are off limits (you know who they are)......Page 33
 9 You can’t change people......Page 35
 10 Relationships aren’t about sex......Page 37
 11 Get to know someone through all the seasons before making any major decisions......Page 39
 12 Don’t stay with someone who doesn’t care......Page 41
 13 If you can’t trust them, you haven’t got a relationship......Page 43
 14 Be honest (while you still have the chance)......Page 45
 15 Don’t play games......Page 47
 16 Don’t tar new partners with old brushes......Page 49
 17 Check you both have the same shared goals......Page 51
 18 Create the power balance you both want......Page 53
 19 You can’t make someone love you......Page 55
 20 Be cruel to be kind......Page 57
Relationship Rules......Page 59
 21 Be nice......Page 61
 22 Be together because you want to, not because you need to......Page 63
 23 Allow your partner the space to be themselves......Page 65
 24 Look to your own faults......Page 67
 25 Be honourable......Page 69
 26 Put each other first......Page 71
 27 Recognize the signs......Page 73
 28 Be a hero - or a heroine......Page 75
 29 Accept the differences, embrace what you have in common......Page 77
 30 Don’t belittle your partner......Page 79
 31 You want to do what?......Page 81
 32 Let not the sun go down upon your wrath......Page 83
 33 Be the first to say sorry......Page 85
 34 Let them have the last word......Page 87
 35 Houston, we have a problem......Page 89
 36 Don’t put them on a pedestal and expect them to stay there......Page 91
 37 Know when to listen and when to act......Page 93
 38 Never stop trying to be attractive......Page 95
 39 If you can say something nice, do......Page 97
 40 Don’t try to be their parent......Page 99
 41 Be part of their life......Page 101
 42 If little things annoy you, say so - with humour......Page 103
 43 Go that extra step in trying to please them......Page 105
 44 Make sure your partner is always pleased to see you......Page 107
 45 Don’t dump responsibility on your partner......Page 109
 46 Let them know if you don’t like their friends......Page 111
 47 Jealousy is your stuff, not theirs......Page 113
 48 Your partner is more important than your kids......Page 115
 49 Make time for romance......Page 117
 50 Have a passion for your life together......Page 119
 51 Share the workload......Page 121
 52 Trust the other one to do the job......Page 123
 53 Don’t be a nag......Page 125
 54 Make sure your love making is making love......Page 127
 55 Don’t control them......Page 129
 56 Listen to what they’re not saying......Page 131
 57 Most everyday arguments are about something else......Page 133
 58 Respect privacy......Page 135
 59 Treat your partner better than your best friend......Page 137
 60 Don’t be offended if they want some space......Page 139
 61 Men like flowers too......Page 141
 62 Keep your finances separate......Page 143
 63 Contentment is a high aim......Page 145
 64 Be generous to each other financially......Page 147
 65 You make a choice every day......Page 149
 66 Don’t be a martyr......Page 151
 67 Stop sniping - someone has to......Page 153
 68 You don’t both have to have the same rules......Page 155
 69 Do it their way if it matters more to them......Page 157
 70 Put yourself in their shoes......Page 159
 71 In-laws are part of the package......Page 161
 72 Keep talking......Page 163
Family Rules......Page 165
 73 Don’t blame your parents......Page 167
 74 Don’t let your parents control your feelings......Page 169
 75 Your children come before you......Page 171
 76 Nothing is worth falling out over......Page 173
 77 Don’t shout at the people you love......Page 175
 78 Treat them right, no matter how they treat you......Page 177
 79 There are no circumstances in which it is ever acceptable to say ‘I told you so’......Page 179
 80 Don’t pressurize your family just because you can......Page 181
 81 Never be too busy for loved ones......Page 183
 82 Make the effort......Page 185
 83 Your children need to fall out with you to leave home......Page 187
 84 They don’t have to be the same as you......Page 189
 85 Accept people’s flaws......Page 191
 86 There’s always stuff with siblings......Page 193
 87 Let go of your role......Page 195
 88 What will be left of you?......Page 197
Friendship Rules......Page 199
 89 There are no rules......Page 201
 90 Your best friend was once a stranger......Page 203
 91 Only have people in your life who, on balance, make it better not worse......Page 205
 92 If you’re going to be a friend, be a good friend......Page 207
 93 Forgive......Page 209
 94 Never give advice......Page 211
 95 Don’t make other people uncomfortable......Page 213
 96 Find friends who love the truth......Page 215
 97 Never lend money unless you’re prepared to write it off......Page 217
 98 If you don’t like their partner, tough......Page 219
 99 When one finger points forwards, three point back......Page 221
 100 Friendships change......Page 223
 101 Know when to let go......Page 225
 102 Bitterness helps no one......Page 227
Rules for everyone......Page 229
 103 People are more important than things......Page 231
 104 Guilt is a selfish emotion......Page 233
 105 Love equals time......Page 235
 106 The more you put out, the more you get back......Page 237
 107 Other people are where it’s at......Page 239
The Rules of parting......Page 241
 1 Listen to your own internal voice......Page 243
 2 Recognize that it takes two......Page 245
 3 It doesn’t have to be anyone’s fault......Page 247
 4 Keep the moral high ground......Page 249
 5 Don’t keep raking it over......Page 251
 6 Leave the kids out of it......Page 253
 7 Remember they’re not a monster......Page 255
 8 Identify your own mistakes......Page 257
 9 Choose friends you can trust......Page 259
 10 There is life beyond parting......Page 261
Had enough yet . . .?......Page 263