The Heart of Grief: Death and the Search for Lasting Love

Contents......Page 8
Preface......Page 12
I. PLACES IN THE HEART......Page 22
Where Are They Now?......Page 24
Living with Sadness......Page 29
Carrying the Hurt......Page 36
Longing for Their Return......Page 43
Believing They Live On......Page 49
Ghosts and Other Contacts......Page 55
Loving in Separation......Page 60
Good and Troubled Loving......Page 63
Receiving Their Legacies......Page 66
Giving Them Places in Our Hearts......Page 71
Lasting Love Is Good for Them......Page 75
Lasting Love Is Good for Us......Page 80
Learning to Love in a New Way......Page 84
II. TRANSITIONS TO LASTING LOVE......Page 86
Taking Leave and Opening Our Hearts......Page 88
Missed Opportunities......Page 95
Frozen Scenes......Page 101
Investing Ourselves in Ceremonies......Page 107
Choosing Our Own Ways......Page 112
Conflicts about Ceremonies......Page 118
III. MEMORIES......Page 126
Holding Them in Memory......Page 128
Unfinished Business......Page 133
Negative Ties That Bind Us......Page 139
Horrific Memories......Page 143
Memories and Dying Days......Page 147
Remembering at the Time of Death......Page 153
Fragile and Fleeting Memories......Page 157
Incomplete and Partial Memories......Page 163
Richly Meaningful Memories......Page 168
The Dance Continues in Memory......Page 174
IV. PRACTICAL LIFE......Page 180
They Are with Us in Our Practical Lives......Page 182
Acting on Promises......Page 188
Using Their Advice and Counsel......Page 193
Doing Things Their Way......Page 198
Following in Their Footsteps......Page 203
Making Their Cares and Interests Our Own......Page 207
V. LIFE OF THE SOUL: RETURNING HOME......Page 212
Loss and Soul Pain......Page 214
Choosing How We Approach Our Hurt......Page 219
They Are with Us in Our Souls......Page 225
Meeting Them in Things They Leave Behind......Page 230
Soul Food and Soul Music......Page 235
Meeting Them in Familiar Places......Page 239
Seeing Them in Others......Page 243
Finding Our Roots in Their Life Stories......Page 247
Touching Our Souls in Mysterious Ways......Page 251
Learning to Be Soulful......Page 256
VI. LIFE OF THE SPIRIT: REVIVING HOPE......Page 264
Loss and Spiritual Pain......Page 266
Their Spirits Are with Us......Page 271
Resilience......Page 278
Searching......Page 284
Changing and Growing......Page 289
Striving......Page 293
Joy and Adventure......Page 297
Afterword: Grief Is a Journey of the Heart......Page 302
Acknowledgments......Page 308