The Gardener and the Carpenter: What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Children

Title Page......Page 2
Copyright Notice......Page 4
Dedication......Page 5
Introduction: The Parent Paradoxes......Page 6
From Parenting to Being a Parent......Page 11
The Paradoxes......Page 12
The Paradoxes of Love......Page 13
The Paradoxes of Learning......Page 14
The Uniqueness of Childhood......Page 17
The Child Garden......Page 19
1. Against Parenting......Page 22
In Praise of Mess......Page 26
Exploring vs. Exploiting......Page 29
Protective Parents......Page 34
Two Pictures......Page 36
Beyond Just-So Stories......Page 40
The Paradox of Immaturity......Page 43
Learning, Culture, and Feedback Loops......Page 48
Variability: The Unknown Unknowns......Page 50
Back to Parenting......Page 52
3. The Evolution of Love......Page 53
Pair-Bonding: It’s Complicated......Page 55
Varieties of Love......Page 62
Grandmothers......Page 64
Alloparents......Page 67
The Commitment Puzzle......Page 69
The Roots of Commitment......Page 75
The Costs of Commitment......Page 76
Love and Parenting......Page 77
4. Learning Through Looking......Page 79
The Little Actors......Page 81
The Myth of Mirror Neurons......Page 83
The Birth of Imitation......Page 86
Learning About the World......Page 87
When Children Are Better Than Adults......Page 91
Overimitation......Page 94
Rituals......Page 96
Imitation Across Cultures......Page 99
Doing Things Together......Page 100
5. Learning Through Listening......Page 103
Learning from Testimony......Page 104
Being Sure of Yourself......Page 106
Who You Gonna Believe?......Page 107
Telling Stories......Page 110
Questions and Explanations......Page 116
Why Ask Why?......Page 119
The Essential Question......Page 122
Letting the Dude Figure It Out......Page 128
6. The Work of Play......Page 131
Rough-and-Tumble Rats......Page 134
Getting Into Everything......Page 136
Pop-Beads and Popper......Page 140
Making Believe......Page 142
Bayesian Babies......Page 143
Kinds of Minds......Page 148
Dancing Robots......Page 150
Beyond Miss Havisham......Page 152
7. Growing Up......Page 157
Apprenticeship......Page 161
Scholastic Skills......Page 164
Thinking Differently......Page 167
Attention Deficit Disorder......Page 169
Schooling and Learning......Page 172
The People in the Playground......Page 173
The Two Systems of Adolescence......Page 176
8. The Future and the Past: Children and Technology......Page 184
The Reading Brain......Page 188
The World of Screens......Page 193
Eden and Mad Max......Page 194
The Technological Ratchet......Page 195
The City of the Web......Page 199
What to Do?......Page 200
9. The Value of Children......Page 202
Private Ties and Public Policy......Page 208
Finding the Money......Page 209
The Old and the Young......Page 214
Work, Play, Art, Science......Page 216
Conclusion......Page 218
Notes......Page 221
Bibliography......Page 232
Acknowledgments......Page 252
Index......Page 254
Also by Alison Gopnik......Page 267
A Note About the Author......Page 268
Newsletter Sign-up......Page 269
Copyright......Page 274