The Child In You. The Breakthrough Method For Bringing Out Your Authentic Self

About the Author
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Contents
Epigraph
The Child in You Wants to Find a Home
Models of Our Personality
The Shadow Child and the Sun Child
How Our Inner Child Develops
Side Note: A Plea for Self-Awareness
What Parents Should Keep in Mind
The Four Basic Psychological Needs
	The Need for Connection
	The Need for Autonomy and Security
	Side Note: Autonomy and Dependence in Conflict
	The Need for Pleasure
	The Need for Bolstered Self-Esteem and Acknowledgment
How Childhood Shapes Our Behavior
	Mom Gets Me! The Parental Capacity for Empathy
	From Genetics to Character: Other Factors Influencing the Inner Child
	The Shadow Child and Its Belief Systems
	The Spoiled Shadow Child
	Criticizing Your Own Parents? Not as Easy as It Sounds
Side Note: In a Bad Mood? It Could Be Genetic
How Beliefs Determine Our Perception
We Cling Fiercely to Childhood Experiences
The Shadow Child and Its Beliefs: The Dynamic Downer
The Shadow Child, the Adult, and Self-Esteem
Discover Your Shadow Child
	Exercise: Uncover Your Beliefs
	Exercise: Sense Your Shadow Child
	Uncover Your Core Beliefs
	How to Snap Out of It
	Exercise: The “Feelings” Bridge
	Side Note: Problem Dodgers and Non-Feelers
	What Can I Do if I Don’t Feel Very Much?
	Our Projections Are Our Reality
The Shadow Child’s Self-Protection Strategies
	Self-Protection Strategy: Repressing Reality
	Self-Protection Strategy: Projection and Feeling Like the Victim
	Self-Protection Strategy: Perfectionism, Obsession with Beauty, and Yearning for Recognition
	Self-Protection Strategy: Keeping the Peace and Overadjustment
	Self-Protection Strategy: Helper Syndrome
	Self-Protection Strategy: The Power Hungry
	Self-Protection Strategy: The Control Freaks
	Self-Protection Strategy: Aggression and Attack
	Self-Protection Strategy: I’ll Remain a Child
	Self-Protection Strategy: Flight, Withdrawal, and Avoidance
	Side Note: The Shadow Child’s Fear of Closeness and Being Monopolized
	Special Case: Descent into Addiction
	Self-Protection Strategy: Narcissism
	Self-Protection Strategy: Disguise, Role-Play, and Lies
	Exercise: Find Your Personal Self-Protection Strategies
	The Shadow Child Is Always There
	Your Reality Is What You Make It
Heal Your Shadow Child
	Exercise: Find Inner Helpers
	Exercise: Strengthen Your Adult-Self
	Exercise: Accept the Shadow Child
	Exercise: Consoling the Shadow Child
	Exercise: Catch and Release
	Exercise: Overwrite Old Memories
	Exercise: Connection and Security for the Shadow Child
	Exercise: Write Your Shadow Child a Letter
	Exercise: Understanding Your Shadow Child
	Exercise: The Three Positions of Perception
Discover the Sun Child Within You
	You Are Responsible for Your Own Happiness
	Exercise: Discover Your Positive Beliefs
	I. Positive Beliefs from Childhood
	II. Turning Around Your Core Beliefs
	Exercise: Discover Your Strengths and Reserves
	How Having Values Can Help Us
	Exercise: Define Your Values
	It Comes Down to Mood
	Use Your Imagination and Body Memory
	Exercise: Anchor the Sun Child Within You
	The Sun Child in Everyday Life
On Self-Protection and Self-Reflection Strategies
	Our Happiness and Unhappiness Revolve Around Our Relationships
	Exercise: Once More for Good Measure: Catch and Release
	Differentiate Between Fact and Interpretation
	Exercise: Reality Check
	Find a Good Balance Between Reflection and Distraction
	Be Honest with Yourself
	Exercise: Say Yes to Reality
	Practice Goodwill
	Praise Your Neighbor as You Would Yourself
	Just Good Is Good Enough
	Enjoy Your Life
	Don’t Be Good, Kid—Be Authentic
	Learn to Deal with Conflict and Shape Your Relationships
	Exercise: Practicing Conflict Management
	Recognize When It’s Time to Let Go
	Practice Empathy
	Just Listen
	Set Healthy Boundaries
	Side Note: The Shadow Child and Burning Out
	Exercise: Allowing Your Feelings to Dissolve
	Learn to Say No
	Trust in Yourself and in Life
	Regulate Your Feelings
	Side Note: The Impulsive Shadow Child
	Cow Meditation
	Exercise: A Little Lesson in Quick-Wittedness
	Go Ahead—Disappoint People
	Side Note: Self-Reflection Strategies Against Addiction
	Shake Off Your Lethargy
	Exercise: Seven Steps Against Procrastination
	Break Down Your Resistance
	Pursue Your Hobbies and Interests
	Exercise: Find Your Personal Self-Reflection Strategies
	Exercise: Integrating the Shadow Child and the Sun Child
	Let Yourself Be Yourself
References
Index