Team-Spirited Parenting: 8 Essential Principles for Parenting Success

Team-Spirited Parenting......Page 1
Contents......Page 8
Preface......Page 14
Acknowledgments......Page 18
What Every Good Parent Wants......Page 22
Step One: Connect to the Power of Your Memories......Page 26
Step Two: Sort Out Your Issues......Page 27
Step Three: Look for Positives......Page 30
Step Four: Unpack the Baggage from Your Parents’ Divorce......Page 31
Step Five: Listen Carefully to the Voices on Your Message Tape......Page 34
Step Six: Erase the Negative Messages......Page 35
Step Seven: Reassess Your Parenting Approach......Page 37
Step Eight: Talk to Your Children about Your Past......Page 39
Living the First Principle......Page 43
Getting in Sync......Page 44
How Is Your Parent-to-Parent Relationship Affecting Your Child?......Page 47
Do You Believe That Mother Knows Best?......Page 49
Do You Think That Father Knows Best?......Page 50
Is Your Parenting Style Competitive?......Page 52
Are You “Parallel Parenting”?......Page 55
Are You Ever the Martyr?......Page 56
Do You Sabotage Your Partner?......Page 58
Are You the Insecure Teammate?......Page 59
Are You Divorced or Separated?......Page 60
Are You the Parent Who Works a Lot?......Page 63
How Compassionate Are You?......Page 64
Do You Know How to Give and Take Criticism?......Page 65
When to Seek Professional Help......Page 67
Living the Second Principle......Page 68
Couple Communication Skills......Page 70
Understand Your Different Communication Styles......Page 72
Master the Art of Assertive Communication......Page 81
Seven Golden Rules of Communication......Page 85
What Your Children Are Telling You......Page 87
Family Communication Skills......Page 89
Teaching Children to Listen......Page 94
Encouraging Compassionate Communication......Page 95
Living the Third Principle......Page 97
The Team Beyond Your Doorstep......Page 98
How to Ask for Help......Page 101
Rediscover Your Village......Page 104
Reach Out to Extended Family Members......Page 106
Reach Out to Friends......Page 107
Reach Out to Your Community......Page 108
Reach Out to Your Religious Leader......Page 109
Reach Out to Your Child’s School......Page 110
School Is Not for Moms Only......Page 119
Reach Out at Work......Page 121
Living the Fourth Principle......Page 122
5 Direct Your Child ’s Behavior: The Fifth Principle......Page 124
The Goals of Positive Discipline......Page 125
Are You a Good Model of the Behavior You Want for Your Child?......Page 126
Eleven Easy Rules for More Positive Discipline......Page 127
What to Expect at Every Age......Page 129
Are You and Your Partner on the Same Discipline Team?......Page 132
What’s Your Personal Discipline Style?......Page 135
What’s Your Team Discipline Style?......Page 137
Eight More Winning Discipline Techniques......Page 144
Handling the “Problem” Child......Page 148
When to Seek Professional Help......Page 150
The Gender Factor......Page 151
Negative Lessons of Physical Punishment......Page 153
Time-out for Parents......Page 154
Living the Fifth Principle......Page 156
6 Nurture the Sibling Bond: The Sixth Principle......Page 158
The Positive Side of Rivalry......Page 159
How Does Sibling Rivalry Get Started?......Page 161
The Role of Age Differences......Page 164
How Do Your Children Actually Get Along?......Page 166
When to Seek Professional Help......Page 171
Seven Recommendations for Reducing Rivalry......Page 173
Growing Away from Rivalry......Page 178
The Trap of Favoritism: Try Not to Make It Worse......Page 180
Embrace Your Stepchildren......Page 182
Eleven Ways to Strengthen the Sibling Bond......Page 183
Living the Sixth Principle......Page 184
7 Acknowledge Peer Pressure: The Seventh Principle......Page 186
The Power of Peer Pressure......Page 187
How Peer Pressure Starts......Page 188
Handling Peer Pressure at Every Age......Page 192
The Gender Factor......Page 194
Dealing with Prejudice and Interracial Friendships......Page 195
Dealing with Sex......Page 197
Dealing with Violence and Aggression......Page 199
Separating Out Your Feelings from Your Child’s Feelings......Page 200
Teaching Your Child about Friendship and Fitting In......Page 204
Guiding Children toward More Positive Relationships......Page 205
Relating to Your Child’s Friends......Page 206
How to Talk about Peer Pressure with Your Child......Page 207
Giving Your Child Basic Communication Tools......Page 209
When You Should Worry......Page 210
How to Handle Passing Fads......Page 211
Defining Positive Role Models......Page 212
Living the Seventh Principle......Page 213
8 Allow Time for Spirituality and Joy: The Eighth Principle......Page 216
Acknowledge Your Family’s Spiritual Needs......Page 217
“Mixed” Partnerships......Page 219
Ten Ways to Teach Your Children about Faith......Page 221
Simple Spiritual Messages for Children......Page 225
Simple Religious Messages for Children......Page 226
Simple Fun......Page 228
What’s the Rush? Slow Down......Page 231
Set Aside Parent Time......Page 233
The Value of Family Meetings......Page 235
Celebrations and Reunions: The Power of Making Memories Together......Page 237
Living the Eighth Principle......Page 239
Index......Page 242