Tales from the Head's Room: Life in a London Primary School

Contents......Page 9
Foreword......Page 12
Introduction......Page 14
September......Page 17
One: Here we go again......Page 18
Two: A dad who hit life’s high notes......Page 20
Three: Odd body with a kind heart......Page 22
Four: Rispek to Macbeff, innit......Page 25
Five: Leon’s change of direction......Page 27
October......Page 29
Six: Once upon a time . . . no, please listen!......Page 30
Seven: History? Dull it isn’t!......Page 32
Eight: Massage the problem? Yes, it is!......Page 34
Nine: It’s the quality, not the ethnicity, that counts......Page 37
Ten: Working wonders. With glue......Page 39
Eleven: Pitched battles – and that’s just the parents......Page 41
Twelve: Discipline is deadly serious......Page 43
November......Page 45
Thirteen: Suspicious happenings in Henry’s house......Page 46
Fourteen: A close shave with a piano lid......Page 48
Fifteen: The perils of the PlayStation......Page 50
Sixteen: Hit and miss is par for the course......Page 52
Seventeen: Pussyfooting won’t help naughty boys......Page 54
Eighteen: It’s the beautiful game. Just make sure you win......Page 56
Nineteen: Chemistry used to be such a blast......Page 58
December......Page 61
Twenty: Much ado about parking......Page 62
Twenty-one: Not even hypnosis can help......Page 64
Twenty-two: Watch out! Jobsworth’s about!......Page 66
Twenty-three: Issa just a seemple problem......Page 68
Twenty-four: If it can go wrong, it will......Page 70
January......Page 73
Twenty-five: £355 for a day full of waffle......Page 74
Twenty-six: A film buff’s admission of defeat......Page 76
Twenty-seven: A day off sick? Surely not......Page 78
Twenty-eight: Hold hands and always stay in pairs......Page 80
Twenty-nine: The invention is fine. The service isn’t......Page 82
Thirty: An official gets me all fired up......Page 85
February......Page 87
Thirty-one: Snow way they didn’t learn a lot......Page 88
Thirty-two: Jakob and his argot of nowt......Page 90
Thirty-three: Is it me, or is Circle Time just loopy?......Page 93
Thirty-four: Society has changed. Children haven’t......Page 95
Thirty-five: We do it all for you, children......Page 97
Thirty-six: Careful now . . . you’ll get sold down the river......Page 99
March......Page 101
Thirty-seven: Suffering from stress? Hang upside down!......Page 102
Thirty-eight: Put to the test getting the tests......Page 104
Thirty-nine: Don’t treat pupils as consumers......Page 106
Forty: No harm in some rough and tumble......Page 108
Forty-one: Why we all needed a shower......Page 110
Forty-two: The skip that wouldn’t leave......Page 112
April......Page 115
Forty-three: Always game for a laugh......Page 116
Forty-four: An idiot’s guide to secure testing......Page 118
Forty-five: A committee to crack a nut......Page 120
Forty-six: Don’t trip over the rules and regulations!......Page 122
Forty-seven: Hunch that unearthed a star......Page 124
May......Page 127
Forty-eight: Questions! Eighty-three pointless questions!......Page 128
Forty-nine: Tree tale that gave me the pip......Page 130
Fifty: An old boy with distinction......Page 132
Fifty-one: Life is a rollercoaster ride......Page 134
Fifty-two: Playground spy follows the clues......Page 136
Fifty-three: Oh no! Someone’s watching our performance again!......Page 138
June......Page 141
Fifty-four: Boys will be boys, unless they are buses......Page 142
Fifty-five: Safeguards strike fear into our families......Page 144
Fifty-six: A dab hand at pigeon prodding......Page 146
Fifty-seven: The lift that wouldn’t......Page 148
Fifty-eight: Vicki given the freedom to breathe......Page 150
July......Page 153
Fifty-nine: Let loose in the corridors of power......Page 154
Sixty: Music on a rising scale......Page 156
Sixty-one: Oh, go on Miss, just a sip......Page 158
Sixty-two: Some of our children are missing......Page 160
Sixty-three: Sadness and celebration......Page 162
Sixty-four: September? Not a month I mind......Page 164
August......Page 167
School closed for the summer holiday......Page 168
G......Page 170
R......Page 171
W......Page 172