Raising an Optimistic Child: A Proven Plan for Depression-Proofing Young Children--For Life

Contents......Page 5
Acknowledgments......Page 11
Introduction......Page 13
Authors' Note......Page 17
Part I: Understanding and Preventing Depression in Children......Page 19
1. The Key to Parenting an Optimistic Child......Page 21
The Depression Epidemic......Page 22
Depression and Anxiety in the Modern Family......Page 23
At Odds with Our Genes......Page 24
Secrets of Optimistic Families......Page 25
The Attachment Dialogue......Page 31
Childhood Programming......Page 32
Ages and Stages: From Zero to Six......Page 34
Depression in the Womb......Page 43
Is Your Child Depressed?......Page 44
Depression Triggers in Young Children......Page 47
Three Degrees of Separation......Page 49
Why Antidepressants Aren't the Answer......Page 52
Part II: Seven Steps to Depression–Proof Your Child—for Life......Page 55
4. Step 1: Don't Let Your Inner Saboteur Affect Your Family......Page 57
Understanding Idealization......Page 58
Avoiding Transference......Page 59
Discovering Dysfunctional Coping Mechanisms......Page 61
Re-Creating the Past......Page 62
Defeating the Inner Saboteur......Page 63
5. Step 2: Determine a Healthy Balance Between Work and Family......Page 67
Your Parenting Priority Plan......Page 68
Evaluate Parental Programming......Page 69
Choose a Supportive Work Life......Page 70
Factor in Parental Well-Being......Page 75
Allocate Tasks, Roles, and Budget......Page 77
Plan Ongoing Evaluation and Review......Page 79
6. Step 3: Build a Nexus of Supportive Relationships Around Yourself and Your Child......Page 81
Healthy Interdependence......Page 82
Needs-Based Dialogue......Page 83
Identifying Your Needs......Page 86
Needs Work!......Page 88
Boundaries Versus Barriers......Page 89
Guidelines for Exchanging Needs......Page 90
Listening to Your Child's Needs and Giving Yours......Page 91
7. Step 4: Set Up a Clear Process for Family Decision–Making......Page 95
Bringing Children into the Decision-Making Process......Page 96
The Family Powwow......Page 98
Empowering All Family Members......Page 99
Putting Family Powwows into Practice......Page 100
A Forum for Needs......Page 101
8. Step 5: Establish Rules, Roles, and Rituals......Page 103
House Rules......Page 104
Parental Agreements......Page 106
Enforcing the Rules......Page 107
Defining Roles......Page 109
Father's Role in Modern Families......Page 111
Roles and Responsibilities for Young Children......Page 113
Bonding Rituals......Page 114
Appropriate Praise......Page 117
Bad Praise......Page 120
Practicing Praise......Page 121
Never Criticize......Page 122
Curiosity and Involvement......Page 123
10. Step 7: Develop and Nurture Shared Values and Beliefs......Page 127
False Values......Page 128
Teaching Positive Values......Page 129
Family Mission Statement......Page 130
Values for Happiness......Page 132
Spirituality: The Ultimate Antidepressant......Page 133
Spirituality in Practice......Page 134
Part III: Applying Optimistic Parenting Strategies to Common Challenges......Page 137
11. Preventing the Consequences of Parental Depression......Page 139
Dealing with Your Depression......Page 140
Admit Your Problem and Seek Help......Page 141
Monitor Your Behavior......Page 147
Build Your Self-Esteem......Page 148
Express Appropriate Optimism......Page 150
12. More Optimistic Parenting Skills......Page 153
Encourage "Having a Go"......Page 154
Accepting Success and Failure......Page 155
Practice and Perseverance......Page 157
Planning for the Best Outcome......Page 158
Getting to Yes!......Page 160
13. Overcoming Attention Deficit Disorders Without Drugs......Page 161
The Diagnosis Dilemma......Page 162
Medicating Childhood......Page 163
Cultivate Patience......Page 164
Maintain Firm Boundaries......Page 167
Promote Active Play......Page 168
Surround Your Child with Nature......Page 169
Devote Your Time......Page 170
14. Depression–Proofing the Body......Page 173
Negative Body Image......Page 174
Programmed by TV......Page 175
Your Depression and Her Obesity......Page 176
Teaching Good Body Image and Awareness......Page 177
Healthy Exercise in Nature......Page 179
Magical Thinking and Magical Guilt......Page 181
Divorce and Separation......Page 182
Introducing a Second Child......Page 185
A Death in the Family......Page 188
Blended Families......Page 191
Single Parents Living Alone......Page 194
Multigenerational Families......Page 196
Cohabiting Families......Page 197
17. Monitoring Outside Influences......Page 199
Media: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly......Page 200
Terrorism and Traumatic Events......Page 201
Sponsorship and Advertising......Page 202
Bullies and Victims......Page 204
Antibullying Strategies......Page 206
Choosing Appropriate Child Care......Page 207
Conclusion......Page 213
Endnotes......Page 215
Bibliography......Page 239
A......Page 243
B......Page 244
C......Page 245
D......Page 246
F......Page 247
H......Page 248
L......Page 249
N......Page 250
O......Page 251
P......Page 252
R......Page 253
S......Page 254
T......Page 255
W......Page 256
Z......Page 257