Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life

Dustwrapper - front ......Page 1
Flyleaf - 1 ......Page 2
Flyleaf - 2 ......Page 3
Half-title ......Page 4
Other books by Gail Sheehy ......Page 6
Title Page ......Page 8
Printer's imprint ......Page 9
Dedication ......Page 10
Contents ......Page 12
Author's Acknowledgments ......Page 16
Half-title (2) ......Page 18
PART ONE: Mysteries of the Life Cycle ......Page 20
1. Madness and Method ......Page 21
Is there Life after Youth? ......Page 29
2. Predictable Crises of Adulthood ......Page 39
Two Couples, Two Generations ......Page 41
The Developmental Ladder ......Page 44
PART TWO: Pulling up Roots ......Page 52
3. Breast to Breakaway ......Page 53
Our Merger and Seeker Selves ......Page 54
The Inner Custodian ......Page 56
Break ing away from the Inner Custodian ......Page 57
A first Solo Flight ......Page 59
4. Playing it to the Bust ......Page 63
5. "If I'm Late, start the Crisis without Me" ......Page 75
Seeking an Idea to believe in ......Page 77
Which Model, Hero, or Heroine to Copy? ......Page 80
"What am I going to do with my Life?" ......Page 82
6. The Urge to Merge ......Page 83
All you need is Love ......Page 84
The Piggyback Principle ......Page 85
Jailbreak Marriage ......Page 87
Openings ......Page 88
The Complete-Me Child ......Page 89
Compulsory Graffiti ......Page 90
The College Woman ......Page 91
Finding my "True Self" ......Page 92
7. Beginnings of the Couple Puzzle ......Page 93
PART THREE: The Trying Twenties ......Page 102
8. Getting off to a Running Start ......Page 103
I Should Be ... ......Page 105
The Power of Illusions ......Page 106
One True Course in Life ......Page 107
9. The One True Couple ......Page 109
Going Through Changes ......Page 116
10. Why Do Men Marry? ......Page 120
Safety ......Page 121
To get away from Home ......Page 124
Prestige or Practicality ......Page 125
11. Why can't a Woman be more like a Man and a Man less like a Racehorse? ......Page 127
The Bad Old Days ......Page 129
The Brave New Days ......Page 130
Fear of Success ......Page 133
Looking Past Our Noses ......Page 134
12. Sneak Preview: Men and Women Growing Up ......Page 137
The Responsive Man ......Page 139
The Initiating Woman ......Page 146
PART FOUR: Passage to the Thirties ......Page 156
13. Catch-30 ......Page 157
Catch-30 and the Couple ......Page 160
The Testimonial Woman ......Page 163
Wives' Work ......Page 165
Closed-Dyad Disease ......Page 166
Rooting and Extending ......Page 167
The Couple Knot ......Page 170
The Single Spot ......Page 182
The Rebound ......Page 185
PART FIVE: But I'm Unique ......Page 192
15. Men's Life Patterns ......Page 196
The Transient ......Page 197
Locked In ......Page 202
The Wunderkind ......Page 208
Never-Married Men, Paranurturers and Latency Boys ......Page 217
Integrators ......Page 220
16. Women's Life Patterns ......Page 223
The Caregiver ......Page 225
The Nurturer who defers Achievement ......Page 236
The Achiever who defers Nurturing ......Page 242
Late-Baby Superachievers ......Page 246
Integrators ......Page 254
Never-Married Women ......Page 256
Transients ......Page 257
PART SIX: Deadline Decade ......Page 260
17. Setting off on the Midlife Passage ......Page 261
Seeing the Dark at the End of the Tunnel ......Page 262
Change in Sense of Aliveness versus Stagnation ......Page 263
Change in Sense of Self and Others ......Page 264
De-Illusioning the Dream ......Page 265
Groping Toward Authenticity ......Page 266
From Disassembling to Renewal ......Page 268
Riding Out the Down Side ......Page 269
18. You are in Good Company ......Page 271
The Creative Crisis ......Page 274
The Spiritual Crisis ......Page 276
The Difference Between Midlife and Middle Age ......Page 277
19. The Age 35 Survey ......Page 279
The Crossroads for Women ......Page 280
The Re-potting of Priscilla Blum ......Page 286
20. The Age 40 Crucible ......Page 291
The Middle Manager ......Page 292
The Corporate Wunderkind ......Page 294
Letting Go of the Impossible Dream ......Page 297
The Problems of Generativity ......Page 299
The Courage for a Career Change ......Page 301
The Turnaround ......Page 302
21. Switch-40s and the Couple ......Page 304
Correcting Disparities in the Dream ......Page 306
The Envied Wife ......Page 307
Where have all the Children gone? ......Page 310
Mother's Release from the Nest ......Page 312
The Second Wind of the Citizen-Soldier ......Page 313
The "Who's Crazy?" Argument ......Page 320
Whodunit? ......Page 321
22. The Sexual Diamond ......Page 323
Facing the Facts of Male and Female Sexual Life Cycles ......Page 326
The Diverging Sexual Life Cycles ......Page 329
The Educated Male Orgasm ......Page 331
The Curious Ups and Downs of Testosterone ......Page 333
Mysteries of the Climacteric ......Page 334
Sex and Menopause ......Page 338
23. Living out the Fantasy ......Page 340
The Change-of-Life Affair ......Page 343
Busting Out ......Page 345
24. Living out the Reality ......Page 351
PART SEVEN: Renewal ......Page 360
25 Renewal ......Page 361
New Veins of Energy ......Page 362
A No-Panic Approach to Physical Aging ......Page 364
Redefined Attitudes Toward Money, Religion and Death ......Page 365
Companionship or a Zest for Aloneness ......Page 368
Approval of Oneself at Last ......Page 370
Notes and Sources ......Page 374
Bibliography ......Page 394
Index ......Page 402
Dustwrapper - rear ......Page 414