If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

heartfelt thanks......Page 9
contents......Page 10
introduction WHAT THIS BOOK CAN AND CAN’T DO FOR YOU......Page 14
part 1 PREPARATION FOR LOVE: walking a path of truth and loving kindness......Page 18
1 IF THE BUDDHA DATED—OR ANYONE ON A SPIRITUAL PATH......Page 19
2 GROUND YOURSELF WITH SPIRITUAL WISDOM......Page 22
3 WHAT IS THIS LONGING FOR AN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP?......Page 32
4 STAY LOYAL TO YOUR JOURNEY......Page 36
5 NOTICE THE STORIES YOU TELL YOURSELF......Page 41
6 ACCEPT THE DANCE OF ONENESS AND SEPARATENESS......Page 45
7 BE WILLING TO COOK IN THE SPIRITUAL FIRE......Page 50
8 BE GUIDED BY SPIRIT, NOT EGO......Page 54
9 SPIRITUAL EQUALITY: one set of rules for men and women......Page 59
10 PRACTICE LOVING KINDNESS TO YOURSELF AND OTHERS......Page 66
part 2 AWAKEN YOUR DESIRE: who are you? what do you want?......Page 69
11 CALL OUT TO THE UNIVERSE......Page 71
12 SEEK A TRUE EQUAL......Page 75
13 EXPLORE THE WAYS YOU BOND......Page 78
14 FUSED OR FREE?: understanding the path to intimacy......Page 85
15 DEFINE WHAT YOU WANT......Page 91
16 DEFINE WHAT YOU HAVE TO GIVE......Page 95
17 WHEN TO TRUST THE POWER OF ATTRACTION......Page 97
18 FREE YOUR HEART: make peace with your parents......Page 101
19 RESOLVE “UNFINISHED BUSINESS” WITH FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND PAST LOVERS OR SPOUSES......Page 104
20 EXPERIENCE THE SPACIOUS MIND: observe your limiting beliefs about how people meet......Page 110
part 3 ENTER THE SACRED FIRE: the journey toward intimacy......Page 113
21 CRAWLING IN LOVE: explore the benefits of staying conscious......Page 115
22 USING ADS, DATING SERVICES, AND SINGLES CLUBS......Page 117
23 REMEMBER, FIRST DATES ARE JUST A MOMENT IN TIME......Page 124
24 CHILDREN AND DATING: enough love for all......Page 129
25 NOTES ON SAME-SEX DATING: free from the rules......Page 132
26 WHEN THE BUDDHA MAKES LOVE: sexuality, spirituality......Page 136
27 HOW TO FIND YOURSELF WHEN YOU LOSE YOURSELF: take refuge in the Buddha......Page 143
28 NOTICE THE FLOW OF GIVING AND RECEIVING......Page 147
part 4 KEEP LOYAL TO YOUR JOURNEY: stay awake, stay aware......Page 149
29 MAKE FRIENDS WITH YOUR FEARS......Page 151
30 MAKE FRIENDS WITH YOUR AMBIVALENCE......Page 154
31 PRACTICE TONGLIN: a meditation for healing and compassion......Page 156
32 TONGLIN MEDITATION FOR COUPLES......Page 160
33 WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU WANT TO RUN......Page 161
34 BE A SPIRITUAL WARRIOR: set a bottom line......Page 165
35 WHAT’S THAT BUZZING IN MY BRAIN?: handling obsessions......Page 172
36 SET YOUR ATTRACTION RADAR TO FIND A LOVING PARTNER......Page 175
37 IS IT WRITTEN IN THE STARS—OR ON A PAGE?: astrology and graphology......Page 176
38 ACCEPT IMPERMANENCE, LOSS, AND JOY......Page 181
part 5 GOING DEEPER: create a durable fire......Page 185
39 GOING DEEPER: finding love beneath illusions......Page 187
40 THE SACRED CIRCLE OF BEGINNINGS AND ENDINGS......Page 190
41 STAIR STEPS TO HEAVEN: get in, get out, move on, and learn......Page 193
42 NOTICE THE BITTERSWEET MOMENTS OF NEW LOVE......Page 196
43 HELP THE RELATIONSHIP EXPAND WITH CREATIVITY AND PLAYFULNESS......Page 198
part 6 LIVING IN THE HEART OF THE BELOVED: we are one with each other......Page 203
44 ENJOY THE SPECIAL STORY OF HOW YOU MET......Page 205
45 LITTLE COMMITMENTS: the daily bread of intimacy......Page 208
46 TAKING STOCK: listening to your Buddha nature......Page 211
47 BIG COMMITMENTS: the samaya “marriage”......Page 214
48 WHEN NOTHING WORKS: remember lovers are a gift from the universe......Page 216
49 TASTING THE SWEETNESS: remember you are love, lover, and beloved......Page 218
recommended reading......Page 223
resources......Page 227