Coping with Toxic Managers, Subordinates ... and Other Difficult People: Using Emotional Intelligence to Survive and Prosper (Financial Times Prentice Hall Books)

COVER......Page 1
CONTENTS......Page 14
INTRODUCTION......Page 24
 Informed Consent for Those Who Read This Book......Page 34
 Emotional Intelligence Approach......Page 37
 Developing Your Emotional Intelligence......Page 39
 Roots of Toxic Behavior......Page 40
 Why Understand Difficult People?......Page 41
 Myths Rationalizing Destructive Behavior......Page 43
 Further Reading......Page 45
 Definition of Narcissism......Page 46
 Origins of Destructive Narcissism......Page 48
 Healthy Self-Esteem Versus Destructive Narcissism......Page 50
 Factors Worsening Narcissism......Page 52
 Additional Material......Page 54
 CHAPTER 2 Grandiose Managers......Page 56
  Organizational Impact of Grandiose Managers......Page 57
  Origins of Grandiosity......Page 58
  Emotional Intelligence Approach to Grandiose Managers......Page 64
  Conclusion......Page 71
  Your Turn......Page 72
  Endnotes......Page 74
 CHAPTER 3 Control Freaks......Page 76
  Emotional Intelligence Approach to Control Freaks......Page 80
  Conclusion......Page 82
  Your Turn......Page 84
 CHAPTER 4 Paranoid Managers......Page 86
  Origins of Paranoia......Page 87
  Impact of Paranoid Managers......Page 89
  Emotional Intelligence Approach to Paranoid Managers......Page 92
  Your Turn......Page 95
  Further Reading......Page 96
II: UNETHICAL MANAGERS......Page 98
 CHAPTER 5 Antisocial Managers......Page 102
  Emotional Intelligence Approach to Antisocial Managers......Page 105
  Conclusion......Page 109
  Your Turn......Page 110
  Further Reading......Page 112
 CHAPTER 6 Unethical Opportunists......Page 114
  Organizational Impact......Page 118
  Emotional Intelligence Approach to Unethical Managers......Page 119
  Conclusion......Page 121
  Further Reading......Page 124
III: AGGRESSIVE MANAGERS......Page 126
 The Many Faces of Aggression......Page 127
 Part III: Overview......Page 128
 CHAPTER 7 Ruthless Managers......Page 132
  Emotional Intelligence Approach to Ruthless Managers......Page 136
  Conclusion......Page 138
  Your Turn......Page 140
  Further Reading......Page 141
 CHAPTER 8 Bullying Managers......Page 142
  Impact of Bullies......Page 143
  Emotional Intelligence Approach to Bullying Managers......Page 147
  Conclusion......Page 149
  Your Turn......Page 151
  Further Reading......Page 152
 CHAPTER 9 Homicidal Managers......Page 154
  Conclusion......Page 161
  Further Reading......Page 162
 CHAPTER 10 Sexual Harassment......Page 164
  Judging If It Is Sexual Harassment......Page 165
  Emotional Intelligence Approach to Dealing with Sexual Harassment......Page 171
  Dating and Flirting at Work......Page 176
  Conclusion......Page 177
  Your Turn......Page 178
  Further Reading......Page 179
  Why Do People Harass and Discriminate Against Others?......Page 180
  Emotional Intelligence Approach to Chauvinistic Behavior......Page 183
  Conclusion......Page 189
  Endnote......Page 190
  Origins of Volatile Behavior......Page 192
  Organizational Impact of Volatile Managers......Page 194
  Emotional Intelligence Approach to Dealing with Volatile Managers......Page 195
  Diffusing the Situation......Page 196
  Dealing with Your Own Feelings......Page 201
  For HR and Senior Managers......Page 202
  Conclusion......Page 203
  Your Turn......Page 204
  Further Reading......Page 206
 CHAPTER 13 Frantic Colleagues......Page 208
  Emotional Intelligence Approach to Frantic Managers......Page 212
  Conclusion......Page 214
  Further Reading......Page 216
 CHAPTER 14 Underpinnings of Aggression......Page 218
  Three Theories on Aggression......Page 219
  Factors Modulating Our Aggression......Page 221
  Psychiatric/Emotional Problems Fostering Aggression......Page 223
  Culture and Aggression......Page 225
  Why We Let Ourselves Become Aggressive......Page 226
  Conclusion......Page 227
  Further Reading......Page 228
  Organizations and Aggressive Managers......Page 230
  Aggression Versus Assertiveness......Page 232
  Coping with Aggressive People......Page 236
  Containing Our Aggression: Avoiding Self-Sabotage......Page 237
  Further Reading......Page 240
IV: RIGID MANAGERS......Page 242
 The Many Flavors of Rigid Managers......Page 243
 Part IV: Overview......Page 246
 Further Reading......Page 248
 CHAPTER 16 Compulsive Managers......Page 250
  Underlying Psychodynamics......Page 252
  Origins of Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Style......Page 253
  Emotional Intelligence Approach to Compulsive Managers......Page 256
  Conclusion......Page 259
  Further Reading......Page 262
 CHAPTER 17 Authoritarian Managers......Page 264
  Emotional Intelligence Approach to Authoritarian Managers......Page 268
  Conclusion......Page 270
  Further Reading......Page 272
 CHAPTER 18 Dictatorial Managers......Page 274
  Emotional Intelligence Approach to Dictatorial Managers......Page 276
  Conclusion......Page 277
  Your Turn......Page 279
 CHAPTER 19 Oppositional Coworkers......Page 280
  Emotional Intelligence Approach to Oppositional Coworkers......Page 281
  Conclusion......Page 282
  Your Turn......Page 284
 CHAPTER 20 Passive-Aggressive Managers......Page 286
  Emotional Intelligence Approach to Passive-Aggressive Managers......Page 288
  Your Turn......Page 292
  How Rigid Managers Impact Companies......Page 296
  How Rigid Managers Can Rise in Organizations......Page 297
  Organizational Factors Promoting Rigidity in Managers......Page 298
  Ameliorating the Problem......Page 300
  Conclusion......Page 303
V: IMPAIRED MANAGERS......Page 304
 Part V: Overview......Page 306
 Further Reading......Page 307
 CHAPTER 22 ADHD......Page 308
  Managing ADHD......Page 310
  Dealing with Managers with ADHD......Page 312
  Further Reading......Page 313
 CHAPTER 23 Anxiety......Page 314
  Generalized Anxiety Disorder......Page 315
  Social Phobia......Page 316
  Simple Phobia......Page 318
  Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder......Page 319
  Treatment of Anxiety Disorders......Page 321
  Further Reading......Page 322
  A Common Problem Often Ignored......Page 324
  Impact of Depression......Page 325
  Origins of Depression......Page 326
  Dealing with Depression......Page 328
  Conclusion......Page 329
  Further Reading......Page 330
 CHAPTER 25 Posttraumatic Stress Disorder......Page 332
  Dealing with Traumatized Colleagues......Page 335
  Further Reading......Page 336
 CHAPTER 26 Burnout......Page 338
  Dealing with the Risk of Burnout......Page 341
  Conclusion......Page 344
  Further Readings......Page 346
 CHAPTER 27 Bipolar Disorder......Page 348
  Conclusion......Page 352
  Further Reading......Page 353
 CHAPTER 28 Alcohol and Drug Abuse......Page 354
  Organizational Factors Affecting Substance Abuse......Page 355
  Primer on the Treatment of Alcohol and Drug Abuse......Page 356
  Further Reading......Page 360
VI: DEVELOPING AND HARNESSING EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE......Page 362
 Further Reading......Page 363
  Surviving Toxic Behavior......Page 364
  Controlling Our Interpretation of Events......Page 366
  Dealing with Your Own Feelings......Page 367
  Conclusion......Page 370
  Your Turn......Page 371
  Organizational Responses to Toxic Managers......Page 374
  The Many Faces of Narcissism......Page 377
  Weighing the Pros and Cons of Narcissistic Managers......Page 380
  Keeping the Barbarians Outside the Gates......Page 381
  Conclusion......Page 383
  Endnote......Page 384
ADDENDUM......Page 386
 A......Page 394
 B......Page 395
 E......Page 396
 H......Page 397
 O......Page 398
 R......Page 399
 S......Page 400
 W......Page 401