Cognitive Behavioural Coaching: A Guide to Problem-Solving and Personal Development

Cover
Endorsement
Half Title
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Table of contents
Preface
Acknowledgements
Chapter 1 Dealing with troublesome emotions
	Introduction
	ANTs in your mind
	Distorted thinking
	Core beliefs
	Some common troublesome emotions
		Anxiety
		Depression
		Anger
		Shame
		Guilt
		Hurt
		Jealousy
		Envy
	Conclusion
Chapter 2 Problem-creating versus problem-solving
	Introduction
	Problem-creating: Paul
		Problem analysis
		Problem-solving
		Paul’s plan of action
	Problem-creating: Diana
		Problem analysis
			A = attitude
			D = defining the problem and setting realistic goals
			A = generating alternative solutions
			P = predicting the consequences and developing a solution plan
			T = trying out the solution to see if it works
		Review of progress
	Conclusion
Chapter 3 Overcoming procrastination
	What holds you back?
	Causes of procrastination
		1. Anxiety
		2. Low frustration tolerance (LFT)
		3. Rebellion
	Putting things off
	Typology of procrastinators
		The perfectionist
		The dreamer
		The worrier
		The crisis-maker
		The defier
		The overdoer
	The common denominator of procrastination
	Tackling procrastination
		Assessing the problem
		The course of coaching
	Conclusion
Chapter 4 Time management
	Introduction
	Poor time management
	Making clear what your values and goals are
	Monitoring your time
	Determining task priority
	Pinpointing emotional blocks to change
	Becoming better organised
	Prime performance in prime time
	Reducing time online
	Is it working?
	Coaching example
		Richard’s time log
	A tip for you
	Conclusion
Chapter 5 Persistence
	Introduction
	Three key insights
	Trying or doing
	The meaning of willpower
	Failing to persist
		Short-range hedonism
		‘If only I knew how it started’
		‘How can I persist if I’m no good?’
		‘I’m not me any more’
		‘Others must help me’
		‘I was born this way – I can’t change’
		‘What if I’m not successful?’
		‘I’m not making progress, so I might as well give up’
		Commitment to sunk costs
		Jumping from task to task
		Hidden agendas
		‘Change looks after itself, doesn’t it?’
		‘I don’t feel any different’
		Secondary gains
		‘I can see what the problem is now’
		Insufficient critical thinking
	Coaching example
	A personal experience of persistence
	Conclusion
Chapter 6 Dealing with criticism
	Introduction
	The approval junkie
	Rejection
	Defensiveness
	Getting angry
	Hurt
	Constant criticism
	Oversensitivity to criticism
	Shame
	Dealing with the inner critic
	Performance evaluation
	Expressing criticism
	The Invitation Technique
	Conclusion
Chapter 7 Assertiveness
	Introduction
	Distinguishing between assertion, aggression and unassertiveness
	Misconceptions about assertiveness
		Acting assertively means that you automatically get what you want
		Having become assertive, you must act in this manner all the time
		Being assertive will make people respect or like you
		Being assertive always equals strength
		Being assertive makes you a good person
		Being assertive will solve all your problems
	Blocks to assertiveness
	Assertiveness training
	From training to real-world practice
	Eight steps to healthy self-assertion
		Step 1: get the person’s attention
		Step 2: describe objectively the other person’s behaviour that you have difficulty with
		Step 3: express constructive feelings
		Step 4: check your interpretations and invite a response
		Step 5: listen to the other person’s response and give feedback
		Step 6: state your preferences clearly and specifically
		Step 7: request agreement from the other person
		Step 8: communicate any relevant information concerning future episodes
	Coaching example
	Conclusion
Chapter 8 Developing resilience
	Introduction
	Bouncing back or coming back?
	Emotion and behaviour in resilience
	Some blocks to developing resilience
	Attitude: the heart of resilience
		A modern day Epictetus
		Strength through faith
	Resilience is ordinary, not extraordinary
	There’s no education like adversity
	Attributes associated with resilience
	Making yourself more resilient
	Coaching example
	Learning an important lesson from the resilience literature
	Conclusion
Chapter 9 Taking risks and making decisions
	Introduction
	‘I can’t take the risk’
	Coaching example
	‘I’m not confident enough to try it’
	Decision-making
		Decisions, decisions, decisions
		‘I wish I was decisive’
			‘I must be sure that I will make the right decision’
			‘I must be comfortable when I make decisions’
			‘I must make the right decision because if I make the wrong one, this proves I am stupid and inadequate’
			‘I must make the right decision in order not to lose your approval’
		Too decisive
	Decision-making styles
	Cost-benefit approach to decision-making
	Creativity
		‘What will people think of me?’
		Creative suppression
		‘I’m not creative’
		Creating a ‘new’ self
	Life as a process
	Conclusion
Chapter 10 Understanding the personal change process
	Introduction
	Preview
		Stage 1: admit that you have a problem and take responsibility for it
		Stage 2: be specific about your problem
		Stage 3: identify your troublesome emotion
		Stage 4: identify the aspect of the situation that you are most troubled about
		Stage 5: select your goals for change
		Stage 6: challenge and change core beliefs
			Developing self-acceptance
		Stage 7: strengthen your new outlook
			Trap 1. ‘I cannot take constructive action until I am comfortable’
			Trap 2. ‘I cannot take constructive action because I do not have a sense of control’
			Trap 3. ‘I cannot act differently because I do not feel competent yet’
			Trap 4. ‘I cannot take new action which is strange to me because I do not feel confident to do so’
			Trap 5. ‘I cannot undertake constructive actions, particularly those which are risky for me, because I do not have the courage
			Trap 6. ‘I cannot take constructive action until I can be certain of success’
		Stage 8: generalise your gains to other relevant situations
		Stage 9: maintain your gains
	Conclusion
Chapter 11 Putting it all together
	Introduction
	Self-acceptance
	High frustration tolerance (HFT)
	Think for yourself
	Be resilient
	Take calculated risks
	Learn to accept uncertainty
	Self-responsibility
	Enlightened self-interest
	Develop vitally absorbing interests
	Think and act flexibly
	Develop realistic expectations
	Distinguish between what is within and what is outside of your control
	Learn tolerance
	Teach others
	Use humour
	Conclusion
References
Index