BUG: Deaf Identity and Internal Revolution

BUG......Page 4
Contents......Page 8
Foreword......Page 18
Acknowledgments......Page 24
Introduction......Page 28
I Choose the Green Crayon......Page 32
Bald Men Grow Hair When They Want To......Page 34
The “Must Put Pickle” Mentality......Page 37
Campfires in Boxer Shorts—Confessions of a Hearing Aid-Less Exhibitionist......Page 40
Pushed into Faith Healing......Page 42
Deaf Man Killed by Flying Golf Ball—A Eulogy of Small Accomplishments......Page 45
I Am Not Your Poster Child......Page 46
Corresponding Oval......Page 48
Chris, Amy, and the Floating Motion Sickness Pills......Page 51
Five Beers Away......Page 55
Christmas Is Filling Up a Dinky Little ’01 Toyota Corolla Gas Tank......Page 57
Responsibility Is Not a Burden......Page 62
Full Circle......Page 65
One Guy vs. Seven Billion! Can He Win? Can He?!?......Page 72
“I Don’t Understand” vs. “You’re Not Making Yourself Understood”......Page 73
Praying for the Hell’s Angel......Page 75
Noise Paranoia......Page 76
I Stopped Being Disabled and Nobody Knows......Page 77
a lot of bullets......Page 79
Value beyond ASL, Value beyond Breasts......Page 81
Plastic Souls......Page 83
Koko Want......Page 84
Point A to Point B Should Be a Straight Line......Page 86
But I Don’t Want to Buy a Deaf Person!......Page 90
Fares......Page 92
Babes from Space!......Page 93
I Worship Cochlear Implants!......Page 95
Have Cell Phone, Am God......Page 97
Shark and Camel......Page 98
One Roll of Tape and Your Whole World Collapses......Page 107
A Bit Less Hearing, a Bit Less “hearing,” But a Bit More of Both......Page 108
Minority = Pathology?......Page 112
The Real World—Bigger than You Think......Page 113
Hangman......Page 114
Cash My Check, You Flying Brick-Headed Rat-Pole Witch!......Page 115
What Criteria for “Well-Meaning?”......Page 117
Popping the Normal Pill......Page 118
Empathy Is Not Pity......Page 120
Reborn, Karma-Style......Page 123
He May Not Understand, but He Still Ranks a Five......Page 124
Why Must We Know?......Page 126
Red Is Stop, Deaf Is. . . ?......Page 127
That’s You, That’s Your Beer—Keep Them Separate......Page 129
Guess What? My Hearing Ancestors Had Sex Too!......Page 131
Deaf Rumor Mills—The Surest Path to Absolute Freedom......Page 132
Backstabbers Aim for Your Back, so Why Cover Your Ass?......Page 135
I Am a Crab......Page 136
Who Says Oralism Failed?......Page 138
He Wrote about Ring Bologna and Disappeared......Page 140
Spleen Gone Blues......Page 141
Rubella Bulge......Page 143
Footballs at $1,400 Each......Page 144
You Don’t Have 100 Percent to Give......Page 146
Those Who Play by the Rules. . .......Page 147
Never Get Mad without Your Prescription......Page 150
Departure......Page 151
Why Deaf People No Go Boom......Page 152
Making Deaf Awareness Day Effective......Page 153
Just Duck and They’ll Shoot Each Other!......Page 154
Confl ict......Page 155
Nietzsche’s Downside......Page 156
Advice on Tennis and Pain......Page 157
Missing the Bounce......Page 158
Institutionalized Just Like You......Page 162
Dishes Done, Institution-Style!......Page 163
Research—The Best Way to Avoid Real Answers......Page 166
When Your Cat Is Passive-Aggressive......Page 168
Invalidation......Page 170
Institutions for the Deaf? Pfft......Page 172
Guys in Ties? One Tug Closer to Strangulation!......Page 173
White Dress Shirts—Making the World Safer for Workplace Projection!......Page 174
The Tyranny of Polyester......Page 176
It’s Vietnam All over Again!......Page 177
My Son, the Manchurian Candidate!......Page 179
Engineering Effi cient Institutions......Page 181
The Lie of Dependency......Page 182
In the Depths of Space, No One Can Lipread Your Scream......Page 184
You’re Always Caught in Someone’s Machine......Page 185
Visible Scars......Page 187
It Wasn’t Self-Pity That Stopped Me from Becoming a Telemarketer......Page 188
Grant Me the Wisdom......Page 190
The Starving African Children Ain’t Got Nothin’ on Us......Page 192
Life Is Fairer When You Get Mugged......Page 194
A Message in a Bottle from the Governor of Reality (Hopefully You Can Grab This without Rocking the Boat)!......Page 196
Man Up, Women!......Page 198
Unfortunately, Now You Can’t Get a Deaf President Out of Offi ce......Page 201
When Enough Do, Most Will......Page 203
“. . . Anything Except Hear, ”Including Believe Inspirational Bullshit......Page 205
Another Problem with “Deaf People Can. . . .”......Page 207
Learn to Recognize a Smokescreen from a Smoke Job......Page 208
The Economics of Presence......Page 210
Why the Deaf Education Teacher Went to Hell......Page 211
“We Can Save the Deaf!” (The Offi cial Deaf Education Fight Song)......Page 214
On Being Brave......Page 216
I Thought You Were KGB!......Page 218
Don’t Stop with Dreams......Page 220
Strip Club Literacy......Page 222
ASL Is a Visual Language . . . Just Like Printed English!......Page 223
Let’s Bring Back “Deaf and Dumb”......Page 225
Sometimes Things Break Off......Page 227
Parenthood in the Blizzard......Page 229
Denial Rules Everything......Page 230
Coping......Page 232
The Economy of Love and Paying Attention......Page 236
The Best Defense Is a Good Disqualification......Page 237
The Age of Digital Boob Magic......Page 238
Paternalism and Sleeping Cats......Page 240
Murderball......Page 241
Hearing Parents Know!......Page 243
Final Notes for Hearing/Nonsigning Parents......Page 246
Afterword......Page 248