151 Quick Ideas to Improve Your People Skills

Contents......Page 6
How to Use This Book......Page 14
Introduction......Page 16
1. Why Interpersonal Skills Are So Important......Page 18
2. People Don’t Care How Much You Know Until They Know How Much You Care......Page 19
3. Social Intelligence vs. Technical Knowledge......Page 20
4. Be Socially Aware......Page 22
5. Relationships Are Priority......Page 23
6. The Nature of Your Relationships......Page 24
7. Envision What You Want From Your Relationships......Page 25
8. Behave in a Way That Secures Relationships......Page 26
9. Look for Ways to Serve Others......Page 27
10. Don’t Ingratiate......Page 28
11. Apply the Pygmalion Effect......Page 29
12. Believe That All People Start With Good Intentions......Page 30
13. Give ’Em the Benefit of the Doubt......Page 31
14. Live by the Golden Rule......Page 32
15. Practice the Platinum Rule......Page 33
16. Always Look Toward Solutions......Page 34
17. Have Reasonable Expectations of Yourself......Page 35
18. Have Reasonable Expectations of Others......Page 36
19. Be Principle-Centered......Page 37
20. Allow Others to Hold to Their Principles......Page 38
21. Set Boundaries......Page 39
22. Defend Your Boundaries......Page 40
23. Be Genuine......Page 41
24. Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously......Page 42
25. Have a Sense of Humor......Page 43
26. Laugh at Yourself......Page 44
27. Cherish Your Goofs......Page 45
28. Social Skills Are Always a Work in Progress......Page 46
29. Your Character—and Your Reputation—Is Your Calling Card......Page 47
30. Be Authentic......Page 48
31. Act With Integrity......Page 49
32. Build Trust......Page 50
33. Keep Your Word......Page 51
34. Be Straight Up......Page 52
35. View Discernment as a Gift......Page 53
36. Always Show Respect......Page 54
37. Practice Tolerance......Page 55
38. Choose Words Carefully......Page 56
39. Words: I vs. We......Page 58
40. Use Kind Words......Page 59
41. Don’t Kill Relationships With Your Behavior......Page 60
42. Do Not Gossip......Page 61
43. Don’t Be Dismissive......Page 62
44. Don’t Be Condescending......Page 63
45. Don’t Be Manipulative......Page 64
46. Don’t Make Assumptions......Page 65
47. Don’t Be Pessimistic......Page 66
48. Don’t Be a Cynic......Page 67
49. Don’t Be Over-Reactive......Page 68
50. Don’t Be Domineering......Page 69
51. Don’t Be Overly Opinionated......Page 70
52. Don’t Be Overly Aggressive......Page 71
54. Believe in Others......Page 72
55. Wage Peace in Your Relationships......Page 73
56. Be a Peacemaker Between Friends......Page 74
57. Respect Different Personality Types......Page 75
58. Understand Different Styles......Page 76
59. Recognize That Styles Differ From Opinions......Page 77
60. Know Your Own Style......Page 78
61. Stretch Beyond Your Style......Page 79
62. Embrace Different Styles......Page 80
63. Determine if You Are Shy......Page 81
64. Overcome Shyness......Page 82
65. Overcome Feeling Inferior......Page 83
66. Overcome Feeling Intimidated......Page 85
67. Don’t Be Too Talkative......Page 86
69. Get Out of Your Own Way......Page 87
70. Douse the Domineering......Page 88
71. Don’t Be Reactive......Page 89
72. Tackle the Intimidator......Page 90
73. Strive for Live Interaction......Page 91
74. Practice Face-to-Face Communication......Page 92
75. At Least Make It Live......Page 93
76. Beware of E-mail......Page 94
77. Remember That People Are Creatures of Emotion......Page 95
78. Fill the Emotional Bank Account......Page 96
79. Make Friends......Page 97
80. Develop Your Emotional Intelligence......Page 98
81. Remember Names......Page 99
82. Look ’Em in the Eye......Page 100
83. Give Your Undivided Attention......Page 101
84. Be “Present”......Page 102
85. Practice Good Listening......Page 103
86. Connect With People Through Questions......Page 105
87. Be Careful With Your Opinions......Page 106
88. Withhold Judgment......Page 107
89. See Both Sides......Page 108
90. Edify, Edify, Edify......Page 110
91. Give Honesty With an Equal Dose of Compassion......Page 111
92. Help Others Be Heard......Page 112
93. Help Others Be Understood......Page 113
94. Allow People to Save Face......Page 114
95. Encourage......Page 115
96. Encourage With Words and Perspective......Page 116
97. Pat Others on the Back......Page 118
98. Be a Cheerleader......Page 119
99. Help Others Achieve Their Goals......Page 120
100. Let Others Shine......Page 121
101. Look for Reasons to Celebrate......Page 123
102. Remember Birthdays, Anniversaries, and Such......Page 124
103. Fill Your Own Emotional Bank Account......Page 125
104. Feed Your Own Needs......Page 126
105. Call on Your Support Group......Page 127
106. Keep Honest Company......Page 128
107. Get Inspired......Page 129
108. Find Friends Who Edify You in Your Absence......Page 130
109. Find a Class Act to Follow......Page 131
110. Take a “People Break”......Page 132
111. Sharpen the Saw by Sharpening Your Mind......Page 134
112. Get Away From Your Desk for Lunch......Page 135
113. Attend Social Events......Page 136
114. Handle Conflict With Confidence......Page 137
115. Can’t We All Just Get Along?......Page 138
116. 365 Opportunities for Conflict—366 in a Leap Year......Page 139
117. See Conflict or Disagreement as an Opportunity......Page 141
118. See Rough Starts as an Opportunity......Page 142
119. Breathe!......Page 143
120. Give Yourself a Pep Talk......Page 144
121. Have the Difficult Conversations Beforehand......Page 145
122. Handle Conflict One-on-One......Page 146
123. Having Your Say Doesn’t Mean Always Having Your Way......Page 147
124. Learn to Eat Crow......Page 148
125. Bring the Peace Pipe......Page 149
126. Break Bread......Page 150
127. Fight Fair......Page 151
128. Be Mindful of Your Thoughts; They Can Be a Path to the Dark Side......Page 152
129. Don’t Take Things Personally......Page 154
130. Don’t Make Things Personal......Page 155
131. He Who Keeps His Mouth Shut, Keeps His Life......Page 156
132. Dial Down the Volume......Page 157
133. Watch Your Body Language—It Speaks Volumes......Page 158
134. Give People Space......Page 159
135. What Goes Over the Devil’s Back, Always Comes Under His Belly......Page 160
136. There Is No Right or Wrong......Page 161
137. Winner Never Takes All......Page 162
138. Fight for the Relationship......Page 163
139. Get Clear......Page 164
140. Present, Don’t Persuade......Page 165
141. Ask, Don’t Tell......Page 166
142. Look for Middle Ground......Page 167
143. Start From a Point of Commonality......Page 168
144. Some Nuts Are Worth Cracking......Page 169
145. Put the “Moose on the Table”......Page 170
146. Pick Your Battles......Page 171
147. Mend Fences......Page 172
148. Forgive Yourself for Failings......Page 173
149. Forgive Others as Well......Page 175
150. Be the First to Offer the Olive Branch—or the Peace Pipe......Page 176
151. Every Difficult Relationship Has Lessons......Page 177
B......Page 180
E......Page 181
H......Page 182
O......Page 183
R......Page 184
V......Page 185
Y......Page 186
About the Authors......Page 188